The little things in life that fuck you off

[igor_balis]

Leave your phone at home, conformist.

Experience the world around you. Just...open your eyes man.

[Giggles]

Phones are the best way of avoiding people/smalltalk.

[Lewis]

Avoiding people/smalltalk is the best way of avoiding people/smalltalk.

[Baz]

There's a frog in my shed. I hate them.

Was getting a lawnmower out and it dropped from underneath it onto the shed floor, then just sat there. Postponed mowing the lawn and went and got the cat and chucked her at it. She has a history of carrying them away and mauling them for about half an hour. This time she sniffed about for a while (including the minging patch of slime where the frog had been under the lawnmower) and then as she straddled over it, it jumped. The cat practically hit the ceiling with fright and then the frog hopped under a different lawnmower. The cat pawed it but it hopped out of reach and now it's still in there while she's lost interest and is sunbathing.

I've mowed the lawn and put the lawnmower back in the slime, but I'm not happy.

[phonics]

All you seem to do is mow the lawn.

[Baz]

I'm a lady of leisure.

Until the TTH money runs out, at least.

[Lewis]

When I was a kid me and the dickheads down the street caught a load of frogs and newts, and we figured that we could keep them if we made them a home out of an old paddling pool and some pond-like stuff (stones, water, and so on). We were gutted when they vanished overnight. Ungrateful little cunts.

[Magic]

Anyone using back pockets deserves what they get.

Knowing phonics they are probably nearer the back of his knees, the mosher cunt.

[Magic]

I've come home to find a new lamppost installed pretty much in my hedge. Should be fun tomorrow confronting the ex-prisoners that put it in.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Might be painful seeing your attackers again.

[Disco]

Let's hope they can shed some light on the situation.

[Giggles]

Lighten up.

[Foe]

Lighten up.

Keep us posted, magic.

[Magic]

It's funny to you lower classes but my hedge matters to me, damnit. How can I cut it correctly if there's a big fucking pole rammed against it? Not acceptable.

[Giggles]

Probably not a thing you can do about it so you'll just have to look on the bright side.

[Magic]

Wife though I was overeacting. We'll see what the local council's street lighting faults team think of this. Fault indeed.

[Ian]

if he plans to confront them I hope Magic doesn't get lamped.

[randomlegend]

http://www.feistees.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/jstlt.jpg

Got one of these in the post for you, Magic.

[Magic]

As if you could afford non-standard postage.

[randomlegend]

Mum paid for it.

[John]

Great timing. You'll get another meltdown award when the council tell you to get fucked.

[Magic]

Fine as long as phonics doesn't ban me for three years this time.

[Shindig]

I saw a man today whose back hair was merging with his head hair. He also wore wooly fingerless gloves. Fuck that guy.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mine does that.

If it wasn't for my barber going just under collar height as well as shaving by the side I'd probably look like one of those wolf boys.

[SvN]

I have a card holder that contains my debit card and driving license. I haven't used a proper wallet in years. Once Android payments is activated, I'll stop carrying it.

It's launched today, so goodbye wallet.

[phonics]

It's funny, I think we were one of the first countries in the world with Chip And PIN and we'll be one of the last to use ApplePay and friends.

[Giggles]

Still no sign of Samsung Pay.

Not that we have Android or Apple pay anyway.

[Magic]

There's nothing wrong with chip and pin. There is something wrong with entrusting two companies that simply don't give a fuck.

[Jase]

Contactless is fucking amazing, though I've never used Apple Pay.

Things that are fucking me off at the moment: people sitting at gym equipment without using it. Especially in a smaller gym without loads to go round.

[Magic]

Yeah Contactless is good (my credit card doesn't do it :().

[Boydy]

Ha, peasant.

[CJay]

I used contactless for the first time yesterday. I assumed I had to activate it somehow and I'd just never got around to it, but apparently not. Paying for stuff literally takes 2 seconds now. :drool:

[Giggles]

Been using contactless with the card for the last 18 months or so and it's been great since they upped the limit to €30. Can't remember the last time I used cash anyway.
No change going around the house :drool:

[Disco]

I assume Applepay is associated with Apple the company and to use it you need one of their shitty phones.

[Giggles]

I assume Applepay is associated with Apple the company and to use it you need one of their shitty phones.

It is. But it's the only one that is any way widespread this side of the Atlantic and will be implemented first most places. Their phones are very un-shitty too.

[Disco]

Perfect, I can happily keep ignoring it then.

[Manc]

Not having a wallet is right up there with not wearing a belt.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I always have a wallet (https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00AQ2B5LU/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1) (:cool:, it's just a shame the strap broke as it's fucking brilliant) but I don't always use a belt. Most of my trousers fit me correctly.

[Boydy]

You manchild.

[Magic]

I always have a wallet (https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00AQ2B5LU/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1) (:cool:, it's just a shame the strap broke as it's fucking brilliant) but I don't always use a belt. Most of my trousers fit me correctly.

At the correct height?

[Pepe]

I don't wear a belt either although with my current 'trousers' I should.

[Lewis]

lol at that wallet. Do you have it on a chain?

[Magic]

http://gloimg.dresslily.com/L/2015/201506/goods-img/1453674164680979599.jpg?a=6

Speaking of chains, remember those? Fucks me off.

[SvN]

http://i.imgur.com/IXlXqla.png

That's what I use. It's great because it's so slim that it doesn't bulk the pocket up at all.

[Magic]

Also a fucking gimp held me up today in the FAST LANE. He was giving me signs so when I HARED it past I gave him the Satan face. He didn't know what hit him, and there's simply no retort.

[Giggles]

I was going to buy one of those little hard shell cases that could take a few cards. Seen a really good one once but could never remember the name of them after.

[niko_cee]

On the subject of emasculating money holding solutions, the wife has one of those phone cases which lets you keep cards in it. That way, when you lose your phone, your bank cards go with it. Happy days.

[Giggles]

On the subject of emasculating money holding solutions, the wife has one of those phone cases which lets you keep cards in it. That way, when you lose your phone, your bank cards go with it. Happy days.

Last one of those the Mrs had, the chip on the card scratched her screen. Fantastic design.

[John]

I was given a phone case that can hold three cards in a little door on the back, and it's without doubt the most ill conceived piece of tat I've ever owned.

[Jase]

I've just got a plain black leather wallet I've had for about 10 years. My problem with most wallets is that they don't seem to have a place to put change.

[Baz]

That's what your pockets are for.

You're after a purse.

[Boydy]

Yeah. That's where I draw the line. Wallet or no wallet, fine either way. Coins in a wallet? Get the fuck out of here.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, it's not one of those flappy ones - the cards go in a little slot on the back.

Luckily for her she lost it in Kew Gardens, which, as it transpires, is probably the best place in Britain to lose something (they have their own, presumably rather bored, police force and everything). Posted back the next day.

[Jase]

That's what your pockets are for.

You're after a purse.

What, so my change can possibly fall out and get lost? Plus I need somewhere to put my front door key.


Yeah. That's where I draw the line. Wallet or no wallet, fine either way. Coins in a wallet? Get the fuck out of here.

Nothing wrong with practicality.

[John]

Are you cartwheeling about or sitting in deck chairs all the time?

[Jase]

Are you cartwheeling about or sitting in deck chairs all the time?

Only on weekends.

But seriously, I dislike clutter, especially in my pockets. The only thing I keep in there is my phone, wallet and a pen when I'm working.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yeah. That's where I draw the line. Wallet or no wallet, fine either way. Coins in a wallet? Get the fuck out of here.

Indeed.

[Baz]

Key in a wallet? Maybe it's not a purse you're after, it's a handbag.

[Pepe]

My brother in law uses a manpurse. :harold:

As for change, I thought that was the point of this one:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Od0xPLRaWNc/TcKVdbVZwgI/AAAAAAAAqAs/RoAUNJsj7vU/s1600/front+jeans+pocket.jpg

Not that I ever carry change around. Amex black around the neck for me.

[Foe]

My brother in law uses a manpurse. :harold:

As for change, I thought that was the point of this one:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Od0xPLRaWNc/TcKVdbVZwgI/AAAAAAAAqAs/RoAUNJsj7vU/s1600/front+jeans+pocket.jpg

Not that I ever carry change around. Amex black around the neck for me.

That's the pocket to hold all your pogs and slammers surely?

[Jase]

Key in a wallet? Maybe it's not a purse you're after, it's a handbag.

Nah, it'd get lost in there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's a torture device for my sausage fingers :(

[Pepe]

That's the pocket to hold all your pogs and slammers surely?

Don't know what that is but you can use is for that too.

[Raoul Duke]

I always thought it was for a lighter.

[Ian]

I have coins in a bit of my wallet (a built-in purse, if you will) because fuck having all that shit sloshing about. The sooner I can reasonably go cash-free altogether the better.

[GS]

My wisdom tooth appears to have erupted and it is fucking agony. :moop:

[Disco]

I almost never carry coins, they're for putting in a jar and using when you really need to buy milk or something.

[John]

That crap little pouch is a holdover from when people carried pocket watches.

[Giggles]

That's the one I mentioned earlier, took ages to find it. Pricey but I'd love the carbon one.

https://www.ridgewallet.com

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pocket watches really need to come back.

They're fucking stunning.

[Boydy]

They'll go well with your fedora.

[Lewis]

I used to carry the house key in that stupid little pocket.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I can't pull off a hat unfortunately :(

I'd buy a 5 piece suit though to go with it, waistcoats are fucking amazing.

[Lewis]

I knew a lad who used to wear waistcoats and tweed jackets (he got all his gear from charity shops), and when he went to university he was the halls legend because of it. Unfortunately, his new-found popularity went to his head and he became an alcoholic and got thrown out, and last year he deleted everyone from school off Facebook when a couple of us lolled at Jeremy Corbyn.

[Boydy]

What the hell is a five-piece suit?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Some also call it a 3 piece, but basically a suit with a waistcoat too.

http://cf.ltkcdn.net/mens-fashion/images/std/45761-300x300-3_piece_suit.jpg

[Boydy]

Yeah, that's a three-piece.

[igor_balis]

Shame I'm too lazy and unambitious to ever get a job where I'd have to wear a suit, because I do love wearing them. Perhaps I could follow the lead of the old boy who is always necking pint after pint of ruddles in spoons in a full suit. Or I could just wait for the inevitable court appearance.

[Raoul Duke]

It'd be a ballache wearing it every day. Occasional is better.

[Samadini]

You don't even have to be ambitious. I had to wear one every day when I worked at Ernest Jones earning a few shiny buttons every month.

The worst part was having to fucking clean shave every day (or getting told off for not doing it).

[Magic]

3 pieces. :drool:

[Lewis]

Yeah, that's a three-piece.

Fedora (four), and katana (five).

[Giggles]

How come every single foreigner that goes to an ATM has to go through at least 3 cards and takes out fuck all?

[igor_balis]

There's a really fat 'metal head' round here who is always out on nights out wearing a full suit, a hat and a massive fucking wallet chain thing hanging off his arse. Sorta like this:

http://image.rakuten.co.jp/bagukoubou/cabinet/02514570/img60295013.jpg

What a cool dude.

[Boydy]

I can hear knobheads playing the flute badly almost every night now because it's marching season and all the little pricks around here are 'practising'.

[Magic]

Marching season. :D

[Boydy]

Have you heard about the Orangeman's calendar?

It goes January, February, March, March, March, March...

[Lewis]

Why don't you stop being such a girl and get involved?

[GS]

His sash is in the wash.

[Giggles]

Don't miss that shite.

[Boydy]

Why don't you stop being such a girl and get involved?

I did try to learn the flute for about a month when I was about twelve.

[Magic]

Horrible, shite little country that should be wiped off the map or given back to Eire.

[Giggles]

Horrible, shite little country that should be wiped off the map or given back to Eire.

Fucking keep it.

[Boydy]

The Late Late Show was good tonight - there was a Holocaust survivor on and Christy Moore was on too. My mother talked through the whole thing. Shut the fuck up.

[Magic]

When people refer to a song/album as being dropped rather than released. Now even worse than that the same term is being applied to products like phones and shit. :sick:

[Giggles]

The Late Late Show was good tonight - there was a Holocaust survivor on and Christy Moore was on too. My mother talked through the whole thing. Shut the fuck up.

That'd be the first time ever if it was.

[Disco]

When people refer to a song/album as being dropped rather than released. Now even worse than that the same term is being applied to products like phones and shit. :sick:

I've just dropped a shit.

That one kinda works.

[Baz]

When people refer to a song/album as being dropped rather than released. Now even worse than that the same term is being applied to products like phones and shit. :sick:Guilty. :youpi:

[Samadini]

Looks like a human took a shit on the gate at the front of my house last night. There's now a million flies surrounding it, having a nibble. Leaving the house is dangerous. It's quite hot outside so it's proper stinking too.

I'm not cleaning it up, it's a fucking state, so I'm hiding indoors, hoping the flies get the job done.

[Pepe]

Sure it wasn't you?

[phonics]

Sure it wasn't you?

Nah I saw him clear the fence that time.

[Baz]

Did some last-minute shopping yesterday cos I needed some trousers (http://www.next.co.uk/x57410s2#) for a wedding. Was only the night time bit so only needed trousers.

Today I figured I should get the jacket afterall cos I've two daytime wedding invites in the next few months. Seventy-five quid for the jacket though. :thbdn:

I only got those trousers cos there were only 2 skinny fit styles in the shop, and the others were a yellowy-beige colour.

[Spikey M]

Rightmove/Estate Agents. If it's sold, take it off your website you cunts.

[Giggles]

I found my C64 yesterday but Turrican 2 wasn't in its box :(

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Did some last-minute shopping yesterday cos I needed some trousers (http://www.next.co.uk/x57410s2#) for a wedding. Was only the night time bit so only needed trousers.

Today I figured I should get the jacket afterall cos I've two daytime wedding invites in the next few months. Seventy-five quid for the jacket though. :thbdn:

I only got those trousers cos there were only 2 skinny fit styles in the shop, and the others were a yellowy-beige colour.

Should have bought the waistcoat too.

[Magic]

I found my C64 yesterday but Turrican 2 wasn't in its box :(

Unrelated I know but Turok Rage Wars. :drool:

[Giggles]

Unrelated I know but Turok Rage Wars. :drool:

Is that the N64 one? I've got an emulator on the Nexus Player that I'm trying to get a controller working on, must give it a try so long as it doesn't require you to press Start.

[Magic]

Yep. Was incredible.

[John]

The lifts in the new QEU hospital have pissed me off in a big way by being utterly inexplicable. The panel on which you push a button telling the lift where you want to go is outside the lift. You pick your floor, and you enter a buttonless lift which then takes you to that floor. Presumably if the area is ever busy people need to organise themselves into groups based on what floor they're going to or just go on the very spacious lifts one at a time.

How is something that backwards not only conceived by someone smart enough to be designing a fucking hospital, but then given the stamp of approval at every stage between planning and completion?

[Guybrush]

I used to work somewhere with those lifts. They're fine for the most part but rely on every single person pressing the floor they want, otherwise it turns into a complete clusterfuck.

[Magic]

Anything to have a go at the SNP.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://i.imgur.com/zgyintr.png

Windows needs to piss off.

[Shindig]

There must be some process or startup option to bin that off.

[Magic]

Didn't they do something like if you press the red X it installs it anyway? :D

[Giggles]

It's far better if you're only using it for personal use anyway. For work, mine anyway, it's shite.

[phonics]

Windows 10 is miles better than anything else that's out there. I don't get why everyone's so reticent. Then they all go, "YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO FORCE IT ON ME, IF IT'S SO GOOD I WOULD HAVE CHANGED" and they say "We gave you 18 months and you didn't bother"

They want to move on and stop supporting a dead system.

[Magic]

Fuck sake, I have sticky notes right as they are useful, well I've just noticed right at the top it says efukt.com because obviously I must have attempted to type that in to a browser and it didn't work and didn't realise it went on my sticky notes instead.

Shit, it must been there for ages as I never look at the top. :D

[Jase]

Windows 10 is miles better than anything else that's out there. I don't get why everyone's so reticent. Then they all go, "YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO FORCE IT ON ME, IF IT'S SO GOOD I WOULD HAVE CHANGED" and they say "We gave you 18 months and you didn't bother"

They want to move on and stop supporting a dead system.

I've no faith in a Windows update that doesn't somehow break my PC. One of the few things I miss about being on Mac was that they never tried to force their OS updates on you.

[Disco]

Win 10 is fine, but so is 7. No way would I upgrade an existing machine though, too many potential driver and hardware support issues to make it worthwhile.

Plus they're only doing it so they can wave their install base figures around and get third parties into their proprietary schemes. Free copy of the new Forza anyone? Only on our shitty locked down GFWL2.0 service.

[Pepe]

I prefer seven. If you're on eight, there is really no reason to resist the upgrade.

Last Saturday I was talking to someone who told me his laptop self-upgraded to ten and got borked in the process. He was seething.

[Disco]

Yeah, I know one or two people who had it automatically update. It will also pre-load the update sometimes which means multiple GB of data squirrelled away on your HD somewhere.

[randomlegend]

Had a dear run out in front of me on the way home whilst I was doing 60, I have no idea how I didn't hit it. It must have been inches.

[Raoul Duke]

That could've been expensive!

[Magic]

I bet you pulled over and had a panic attack.

[Samadini]

I'm away for a few nights and I think I left the oven on in my house.

[randomlegend]

I bet you pulled over and had a panic attack.

The man who can't piss and faints at the mention of an injection trying to give it the big'un :harold:

[SvN]

Never mind injections, Magic has a panic attack if he finds himself at a fucking train station.

[Magic]

The man who can't piss and faints at the mention of an injection trying to give it the big'un :harold:

Attack confirmed.

[Magic]

Never mind injections, Magic has a panic attack if he finds himself at a fucking train station.

I don't, I just melt from crippling social anxiety issues brought on by a bullying father who humiliated me at every turn.

[SvN]

I thought you got on well with your dad, what with your matching charity shop Ted Baker suits.

[randomlegend]

Don't initiate bants if you can't handle the counterbants, Lolson.

[Kikó]

SvN :D There's been some brutal lines the last few days.

[Pepe]

Facebook translating posts.

[Magic]

On the ropes. :(

[Shindig]

At one of the crossings I use, some dog owner's let their pet shit the entire earth right by where you'd stand to press the button. Cunt.

[Baz]

What's the story about matching suits?

And just to rewind a bit, Windows 10 has made my mouse absolutely rubbish.

[Disco]

And just to rewind a bit, Windows 10 has made my mouse absolutely rubbish.

What with this and it depriving TTHard of my dulcet tones for an entire round of Worms because it wouldn't recognise my mic I think we can condemn this version. Try again Microsoft.

[Byron]

Problem I had with Windows 10 is that it wouldn't allow me to set the main graphics card as the one for gaming, so I was trying to play Xcom on fucking Intel 4600 integrated graphics.

As soon as I went back down to 8, everything was sorted.

[Kikó]

On the ropes. :(

I'm in Dundee this afternoon if you want to fight me in tk.

[Boydy]

I sat down on the sofa and the TV was already on. It's on ITV. Jeremy Kyle came on. I've been watching it because I can't be arsed getting up to get the remote and change it. What the fuck is wrong with these people? They all need putting down.

[randomlegend]

They should just gas them all on the way out.

[Waffdon]

I'm in Dundee this afternoon if you want to fight me in tk.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Your luck that I'm stuck at a house party/bbq all weekend in Snootie

[Disco]

They should just gas them all on the way out.

Or on the way in, then they could put something decent on.

[Magic]

I'm in Dundee this afternoon if you want to fight me in tk.

Shambles. I'm in Perthshire on a family day out.

[Lewis]

I'm in Hull if anyone is about.

[Kikó]

Shambles. I'm in Perthshire on a family day out.

You're missing out on this
http://i.imgur.com/W9rKl3I.jpg

[Waffdon]

What the fuck is that? :D

[Kikó]

It's some art sponsored thing.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-36402977

Know your history bro.

[Magic]

Just drove past it.

[Shindig]

Recreating a stone arch in cardboard is about as Scottish you can get without actually leaving it unfinished.

[Disco]

If it was all takeaway boxes that would be perfect.

[Magic]

Aren't they destroying it tomorrow?

[Baz]

Was bringing the washing in before (bear with me) and noticed what looked like a bit of orange sponge stuck to a fence post. I swatted it with the stick I use to keep the line high (probably has a name) and it turned out to be thousands of little spiders. :sick: Obviously a smart man would have watched (maybe even filmed) this amazing coming together of nature in his own backyard.

I boiled the kettle and poured scalding hot water on the little berks. No spiders in my garden, thanks.

[Magic]

Worse than Manc.

[Pepe]

Worse than Harambe.

[Raoul Duke]

Entirely justified. Heroic.

[niko_cee]

The spiders have claimed your garden as lebensraum.

I sighted a large number of decent sized (by British standards) spiders the other day as I pressure washed some slabs. They all looked very miffed as to what was going on.

[Manc]

Small time.

[Raoul Duke]

The first thing I'm doing if I buy a house is going down to B&Q's military hardware section and buying a flamethrower, just for these kinds of occasions

[Disco]

There's one of those big spindly ones living in the bath we never use and it's rubbish, it's completely ignored a large fly and a bee. He/it could be living like a king.

[igor_balis]

There must be something weird about the angle of the bar at a specific pub I go to (it surely can't just be that the percentage of time i spend really pissed is much higher there than elsewhere), because in the last 6 months I've done that really embarrassing thing of having someone wave or say hi to me, I've returned in kind, then realised that they were greeting someone stood next to me instead THREE FUCKING TIMES, always at the corner of that fucking bar. Fuck sake.

[Pen]

So a friend of mine has conned thousands of euros from me me and tens (maybe more) other friends and acquintances. He has handled getting tickets to music festivals for everybody for years due to getting them much cheaper, but this year there were no tickets and he has pocketed all the money. Obviouly I'm fucked off about losing about a hundred quid, but at the same time I worry about the said 'mate'. Apparently he's been in some deep financial shit for years now and now he has burned bridges to pretty much all of his mates with this stunt.

[Pepe]

Chin the cunt.

[Spikey M]

Real talk.

[Magic]

Building up trust over the years then BOOM.

Proper alpha bae behaviour that. :cool:

[Kikó]

You should just kill him and then burn him in front of his family.

[igor_balis]

Oh man my mums ex did the same thing. Not to her thankfully, but about six months after she broke up with him and he left town about 8 mutual friends told my mum that he owed them between £500 and £1000. Crrrrazy.

[Pepe]

Proper Bazesque move.

[Magic]

Oh man my mums ex did the same thing. Not to her thankfully, but about six months after she broke up with him and he left town about 8 mutual friends told my mum that he owed them between £500 and £1000. Crrrrazy.

Did she return all the gifts he bought her with their money?

[Pen]

There's no question that it isn't a cunt's trick especially as how things started to unravel today was that a few people I know went to get their tickets from the ticket office for Primavera in Barcelona and they were told there are no tickets (I also assume it's sold out) and the guy came clean. If worst comes to worst, he might be looking some jail time for fraud I'd imagine as people have paid him between 100€ and 400€ for various tickets. I also heard he had tried to pawn some company stuff that was among the reasons there's no way he'll come out of this with just losing all his mates. 100 quid is something I can chalk off as shit luck, but obviously the trust between us has been lost probably forever. Still, as he is a relatively close mate I do feel bad for his situation to reach this kind of point. Not that he has done himself any favours with the way he's handled this.

[Pepe]

Beta response, that.

[Pen]

This is a good place for venting this kind of stuff as I have mixed feelings about it. Had someone else posted the same, I'd probably replied with a much harsher tone.

[Magic]

You sound like the cunt here Pert. No wonder he ripped you off.

[Manc]

Mug.

[igor_balis]

Did she return all the gifts he bought her with their money?

He spent it all on coke.

[Spikey M]

Did she return all the coke he bought her?

[Magic]

I bet her snout looks like her flange.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You'd dive in head first.

[igor_balis]

He actually kept his cocaine habit secret, and only did it with 'the lads'. And my mum reckons coke is a bit shit and dead overrated, an opinion I largely share.

[Baz]

Discussing your thoughts on cocaine with your mum. :wtf:

[igor_balis]

Mate my mum lived through the second summer love, I definitely trust her opinions on drugs more than my spasticated friends.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bought some boxing gloves which were listed as 'one size fits all' but they're too small...

[Boydy]

What'd you buy boxing gloves for?

[Pepe]

I bet they're some shitty Everlasts.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What'd you buy boxing gloves for?
Bought a punching bag. Decided I'd try shifting some weight and taking out some of my anger on it. Probably use it twice and then it will collect dust.

I bet they're some shitty Everlasts.
RDX, never heard of them before so probably shit.

Just ordered some 16oz ones from the same company. Hopefully my hands will fit into those.

[Magic]

I'm just imagining Mahow and Boyd sparring and it's the greatest thing ever. :D

[randomlegend]

How could boxing gloves possibly ever be one size fits all?

[Boydy]

I'm just imagining Mahow and Boyd sparring and it's the greatest thing ever. :D

I didn't buy any in the end.

[Magic]

I didn't buy any in the end.

Oh damn reality ruining my imaginary scene.

[Lewis]

I'll defer to Pepe on this, but surely you don't need sixteen ounce gloves for banging a punchbag about in your garage/garden. You want some light, slip-on bag gloves that you don't have to fanny about wrapping your hands up to use.

[Pepe]

16oz gloves are only for sparring really, so you don't bust the other lad's face. For hitting the bag this is what I used:

http://cletoreyes.com.mx/components/com_virtuemart/shop_image/product/Bag_Gloves_4e927b111d4d8.jpg

Good idea to still wrap your hands though. Protip: use regular bandages, not the 'boxing' ones which are shit.

http://www.paneldecontrol.com.mx/admin/secciones/max/fotos/1350420096VENDASLEROY.JPG

You can probably get away without wrapping your hands to be honest.

[Magic]

Protip: gloves are for orbital betas.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

16oz gloves are only for sparring really, so you don't bust the other lad's face. For hitting the bag this is what I used:

http://cletoreyes.com.mx/components/com_virtuemart/shop_image/product/Bag_Gloves_4e927b111d4d8.jpg

Good idea to still wrap your hands though. Protip: use regular bandages, not the 'boxing' ones which are shit.

http://www.paneldecontrol.com.mx/admin/secciones/max/fotos/1350420096VENDASLEROY.JPG

You can probably get away without wrapping your hands to be honest.
I bought some wraps anyway, they weren't that pricey.

[Foe]

Stop being a chump, they bare knuckle box in Ukraine. You'll be flattened if you turn up like a wrapped glove wanker.

[Kikó]

I think mine are 16oz and I have wraps. Hope that helps everyone this evening.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Everlast-Protex-Heavy-Bag-Gloves/dp/B006VWMC2K/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1464995172&sr=8-9&keywords=everlast+heavy+bag+gloves

Found these Everlast shits for £20.

According to some size guide I'm at the higher end of XL gloves so I'm not even sure they'll fit.

[Boydy]

It's so fucking warm and humid here I don't know how I'll ever get to sleep tonight.

[Magic]

It's a solid 19C here with a breeze. Lovely. Nights are about 9-10C.

[Boydy]

That idiot cousin of mine is starting a full time job tomorrow before his exams are even over.

:face:

[Manc]

You're obsessed, mate.

[Spikey M]

Women (usually late 20's/early 30's) who dress exclusively in gym gear. No fucker thinks you're going to the gym with full make up, the weekly shop and a couple of snot nosed kids in tow. You look ridiculous. Buy some proper clothes.

[Manc]

Faggot.

[Spikey M]

Most of them have arses like a bag full of satsumas anyway.

[Manc]

Have a word, John. :harold:

[phonics]

Not really 'fucking me off' but as you may have seen, Harold popped up again earlier so I went into the backend to see if I could just ban an ISP and thought I'd look through the other 30 or so alias' he created.

Some of the names are weird but my favourite thing is he's started filling in the biography (to confuse us? I'm not sure, we never look at registrations) section that I didn't even know was there

https://i.imgur.com/Yprxz1B.png

There was me almost fooled

[Pepe]

Harold. :cool:

[Magic]

He reminds me of those antibiotic resistant super bugs.

[John]

I bet he was fuming when his introduction thread for 'Distal Rho' didn't work.

[Raoul Duke]

Such a desperate gimp

[Manc]

Parklife and the drones of mongs it attracts. Rain all weekend and a double digit death toll please.

[Kikó]

I'm in Manchester this weekend and didn't realise it was on. It's going to be a muddy mong fest.

[Baz]

Went to a surprise 30th last night. The birthday boy spent most of his night in the toilets offering people "coins" of cocaine and then returning to the dancefloor off his head. He's even got his bird into it, and she's a primary school teacher ffs. :doh:

He's gonna propose next weekend too (at a Stone Roses gig, no less) and I've already told everyone I won't be going that muddy mong fest of a wedding.

[Ian]

He sounds like a pleasure to be around.

[Baz]

He's actually alright.

[Kikó]

He sounds fine. Bit like my mate who can't help but call the drugs in no matter the occasion. Manchester update- it's still pissing it down.

[Manc]

14 year old girls with no clothes on chewing the walls. :face:

[Magic]

Tell me more.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just had an email from Amazon saying that they attempted to deliver something about 20 minutes ago.

I'm not buying it though, I didn't hear anything and a note wasn't left.

[Disco]

I became disproportionately annoyed by a 'Child on Board' sign in someones car on the way home today.

[Ian]

Not a single one of the people those signs are aimed at are going to care. It might actually be the biggest waste of money going given they'd be overpriced at a penny.

[Disco]

They defy logic they really do, I mean it's not like I was going to run them off the road until I discovered there were children on board.

[Ian]

"I mean I'm not a monster."

[Magic]

I used to have it on as a novelty new parent thing but then realised I drive like I stole it so just annoyed people.

[igor_balis]

Euro 2016.

[niko_cee]

Amazon appear to have branched out into toddler crack on their instant video service. I am disappoint.

[Baz]

Re those child on boards signs: I once saw a car where one side of the back window had MUMMY'S LITTLE PRINCESS RHEA ON BOARD and the other said had TWINS JACK AND SAM ON BOARD. I wonder who mummy liked best.

[igor_balis]

I don't actually begrudge thick working class people banging on about being a full-time mummy on facebook and all that shit because it must be the only way to distract themselves from the abject horror of them ruining their lives.

I'm not sure where I stand with the baby-on-board signs. Leaning towards thumbs-down.

[Disco]

Re those child on boards signs: I once saw a car where one side of the back window had MUMMY'S LITTLE PRINCESS RHEA ON BOARD and the other said had TWINS JACK AND SAM ON BOARD. I wonder who mummy liked best.

They fall into the same bracket as any establishment that has novelty toilet signs (Does/Bucks that kind if awful shit) ie they should be immediately burnt to the ground.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Waiting for a Virgin technician to come, fuck 3 hour windows.

The AA phoning me twice with a text despite being a home start is so much better. Other companies should take note.

[Magic]

Aren't you a virgin technician?

[Spoonsky]

I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday. Horrible. Tried to eat some solid food and ended up with a piece of spaghetti stuck in one of the gaping holes in my mouth. :sick:

[Shindig]

At least yours were easy to remove. None of mine came through completely.

[Kikó]

Secretsales delivered a suit with a security tag still on it. Can't wait for the ink surprise.

[Boydy]

The sale was so secret the shop they got it from didn't know it happened.

[Kikó]

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/s6jYoagXmZE/hqdefault.jpg

"Secret sale yeah mate"

[Spikey M]

They fall into the same bracket as any establishment that has novelty toilet signs (Does/Bucks that kind if awful shit) ie they should be immediately burnt to the ground.

I like them purely because they often show the thicko's up.

[niko_cee]

All those signs, if they have gender specific words in them, are probably discriminatory these days.

[Gray Fox]

While I was at work the Mrs turned the cooker on to let the oven heat up. After a few mins the entire house lost power. She had assumed power cut but after checking with the electric company it wasn't that. Checked fuse box and something had tripped. She pressed reset and restored the power.
The cooker now turns on and everything but the oven works. It's electric fan style oven and the light comes on and it makes the same sound I remember it making before, but there is zero heat in there, even after leaving it on max for a while. Anyone have any ideas I can try, short of buying a new oven?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuse went because the heating element blew out, a repairman can fix it no problem. The element itself costs fuck all so you're mostly going to be paying for labour, unless you do it yourself.

[Mellberg]

It's either a blown fuse or the element's damaged. Considering the surge in power, I'd go with the fuse. If you can't locate the fuse (varying places on different models), put the model name in online and you should be able to find something. Element's easy enough. If it's not glowing whilst on, or their is visibile damage, it's that. Both are easy enough to fix if you're not a complete fanny.

[Kikó]

"It's just the element love, any fanny can do it"
...
26

[Gray Fox]

Cheers lads. Will get googling how it's laid out.

EDIT: Looks like it's just 4 screws after going in from the front... Just got to go and get a new element.

[Spikey M]

While I was at work the Mrs turned the cooker on to let the oven heat up. After a few mins the entire house lost power. She had assumed power cut but after checking with the electric company it wasn't that. Checked fuse box and something had tripped. She pressed reset and restored the power.
The cooker now turns on and everything but the oven works. It's electric fan style oven and the light comes on and it makes the same sound I remember it making before, but there is zero heat in there, even after leaving it on max for a while. Anyone have any ideas I can try, short of buying a new oven?

Happened to us the othet week. We needed a new element.

In this last month we've had to replace that, the shower and get a bloke out for the washing machine. Why can't it all fuck up after we've moved? :moop:

[Shindig]

I need a new HDMI cable after knacking the pins in the old one.

[Boydy]

I'm driving down south tomorrow and I've never driven on a toll road before. Is there a barrier? Do I slow down when I come up to it and throw cash in? What happens if I don't have cash on me at the time?

Apparently there's one toll road in Dublin that doesn't even have barriers too. You have to pay online for it or something.

The whole thing is confusing and annoying. Fucking toll roads. What a shit idea.

[GS]

The M50 toll is a right bastard. If you forget to pay, you get fined.

It's not like it doesn't apply once you recross the border either. There's a reason to vote leave, right there.

[Boydy]

:D

Aye, I was hoping that I might be able to get away with once I was back up north but that's not the case. So they could come up here and murder people back in the 70s/80s/90s and escape back down there but we can't even avoid a fucking traffic charge by coming back up here now?

:nono:

[GS]

Paisley was right all along.

[Spikey M]

The weather. We had a massive storm last night. Flooded both train lines into London and a few of the local A roads. We've had another storm tonight. Why is it still as sticky as a bakers cunt?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The weather. We had a massive storm last night. Flooded both train lines into London and a few of the local A roads. We've had another storm tonight. Why is it still as sticky as a bakers cunt?

It's better than last night, I couldn't sleep because it was too humid.

Tonight seems slightly better.