News of the day

[Baz]

We do really need an eccentric multi billionaire. The current crop are all so dull.

I’d happily take that gig.

[Shindig]

"St. Helens amazon-affiliate magnate to fund Garden Soccer Super League."

[Lewis]

'Haydock man builds personal covid test station.'

[Lewis]

1391083611860967426

This is either the sneakiest anti-tramp measure ever or an Irish joke brought to life.

[Shindig]

Someone should tell them wheelchairs come in all shapes and sizes.

[Baz]

Surely they can just park beside a normal bench

[phonics]

It's anti homeless. 100%

[Boydy]

Yeah, she's Fine Gael. It's deffo anti-homeless despite how much they love creating homeless people.

[Shindig]

I can't remember the last time I saw any homeless person picking a park bench. It's always a shop entrance or somewhere with an overhang.

[SincereTheRebel]

Top or Bottom

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bottom.

[Lofty]

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/may/10/train-firms-worker-bonus-email-is-actually-cyber-security-test?CMP=fb_gu&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR0eTpPIn2amRcOlPGTcWXYxrHqrUoe_itI8qSPz5 KR4GYq3qGL7UyaIq0g#Echobox=1620651096

:D

[Jimmy Floyd]

A West Midlands Trains spokesperson said: “We take cybersecurity very seriously. We run regular training and it’s important to test your resilience.

“The design of the email was just the sort of thing a criminal organisation would use – and thankfully it was an exercise without the consequences of a real attack.

Yeah, Putin is definitely hacking the 9.17 to Stourbridge.

[Shindig]

"It says Kremlin on the front, mate."

[Alex]

They do that at our place. Never anything as cruel as that, but they once sent a fake email about the pension scheme with a dodgy looking link on it that you were supposed to be on the ball and report.

The result has since been that whenever anything gets emailed legitimately about the pension scheme it's becomes this running joke to report it as a scam en-masse, to the extent where subsequent emails get sent out saying "please stop doing this", which then obviously also get reported as a scam. :D

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-57050690


"Our goal is to make money and not creating problems for society," DarkSide wrote on its website.

"My business is murder but I'm not out to hurt anyone."

[Lofty]

1392134314939371527

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That 4 year old has done well.

[Shindig]

Might be time to consider David Hockney for next year's death pool.

[Yevrah]

It's the dropped s that makes it truly shit.

[Lewis]

David Hockney has #MeToo Hall of Famer written all over him, but the art market might have to collapse first.

[Spikey M]

All art is shit.

[Shindig]

Big statues, though!

[Don]

Eid Mubarak to one and all. The vids coming out are literally reliving Nazi Germany but with camera phones I reckon. Some absolute savagery going on. Might head down to London this weekend given the clubs are still shut to shout Allahuakbar a few times and piss on a holocaust memorial for some bants.

[Spikey M]

1392897579868991490?s=19

Me, Boydy, John and Jimmy should start a Barbershop Quartet.

[Ian]

Not sure whether to feel like the title of that list is a laughable typo or if maybe there just aren't any sexy British accents.

Glaswegian isn't even the sexiest Scottish accent so God knows how it's on there as third and Essex is about as sexy as a DIY vasectomy.

[phonics]

At this point I have no idea what my accent actually is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If this was a proper Tory government they'd have started clamping down on things like the Geordie accent by now. We shouldn't have to live on the same island as that load of made up rubbish.

[Disco]

I could more easily believe that was a list of the top ten most grating accents.

[Shindig]

These surveys are always done on a best case scenario. Thick accents anywhere are brutal.

[phonics]

Third Akehurst brother popped up.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E1fwjgkWQAEteMJ.jpg

[Baz]

Our Luke.

[Spikey M]

:D that's incredible

[Don]

1393905137006125060

:happycry:

[Lewis]

That anti-Semitism convoy through wherever it was looked like a decent day out. Elsewhere, gutted for Jeremy Corbyn, the world's unluckiest anti-racism campaigner, giving his speech next to a fifteen foot inflatable with horns and a massive nose. Where do you get those from, and, assuming it wasn't made this week, who has one ready to go?

[Spikey M]

https://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/prince-harry-reveals-archies-first-24154374

He's just trolling now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

[Ian]

I wonder how much you'd have to sit speaking to your baby about their grandma for those to be the first words (which they obviously weren't.)

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We should start a poll to vote on what Pepe should try and get his newborn to say first.

[Pepe]

I will accept the results of the poll.

[Lewis]

'B-B-B-B... Bui... Bui... Build the... W-W-W-W...'

[Shindig]

Build's a shit first word. Narcos. Go with that.

[Spikey M]

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch

[Don]

Lol at this Primrose Hill closure story. Glad to have played my part in the war against these priveleged cunts by taking their child's bike.

[Offshore Toon]

I wonder how long it'll take little Archie to utter "Dodi Al Fayed."

[Spikey M]

"Uncle" James Hewitt.

[Ian]

"Aw, his first air quotes!"

[-james-]

That cable car story is proper nightmare fuel.

[Ian]

I went in a cable car once (well, twice including coming back down) and I won't be in a massive rush to do it again.

[Spikey M]

We did the one across the Thames once and that was bad enough.

[Don]

It seems like such a simple fix to prevent such an event. Italian engineering is really destroying the rep of their rich history in recent years. Interesting to note the casualties' nationalities :sherlock:

[Shindig]

It's right up there with helicopters as modes of transport I'll never touch. I keep thinking about that time an American fighter jet severed the cables and pancaked everyone inside.

[Yevrah]

Whenever I've been on those things or their ilk there's always been some dickhead on there at the same time telling someone else how safe they are.

[niko_cee]

I've almost certainly been on that cable car.

Feel like a 9/11 (7/7?) survivor.

[Spoonsky]

That cable car story is proper nightmare fuel.

I can’t decide if it’s worse than driving off that collapsing bridge in Genoa. It feels like they actually haven’t updated most of these things since Mussolini was running the show.

[Luke Emia]

That cable car story is proper nightmare fuel.

I must admit it does bring a bit of apprehension ahead of my skiing trip to Italy at the end of the year…

[SvN]

Fuck me, fell 20m then rolled down the mountain.

[Baz]

Are there videos from inside?

[Spikey M]

The occupants were probably too busy dying to upload them, sadly.

[Baz]

Selfish.

[Disco]

Italian infrastructure suffers from being built in Italy during a time when mob lawyers and cia operatives were considered load bearing and pretty much every nutty conspiracy theory you could think of was true. You can't expect Giuseppe to concentrate on building a bridge properly when he has to knock off early to pin a bombing on some communists.

[Don]

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/may/24/missing-man-found-dead-inside-spanish-dinosaur-statue

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MRvftRWvrWI/T6wMDI4cRDI/AAAAAAAAAG4/zSOiJCB-TFE/s1600/P1090470.jpg

Assuming that mouth is the only opening...how?

[Disco]

Presumably there's a hole at the... rear, it says he was in one of the legs but unless he was an utter manlet I don't see how that's possible at the front.

Just seen this: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-57232681 Given the lack of even a 'short illness' I will be assuming he was spanked to death by an Eva Braun lookalike.

[Spikey M]

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/may/24/missing-man-found-dead-inside-spanish-dinosaur-statue

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MRvftRWvrWI/T6wMDI4cRDI/AAAAAAAAAG4/zSOiJCB-TFE/s1600/P1090470.jpg

Assuming that mouth is the only opening...how?

There must be an opening at the back. Also, I looks like it's tilted forward, so maybe it slid from the back into one of the front leg holes?

This is doing my nut in.

[Shindig]

There's too many steps missing. Why was his phone stuck there? Did he go in, go out and go back in again?

[Lewis]

Newer pictures have its lower jaw broken off, so he probably dropped his phone down its mouth(?), broke that off, tried to climb in, and then got stuck head first in one of its legs. I wonder whether in normal times he would have been discovered in a few hours.

[Don]

https://estaticos-cdn.sport.es/clip/1283c01d-ed0f-4ec1-ae23-ed4ecb70099a_media-libre-aspect-ratio_default_0.jpg

The state of that, cock and balls too :D

[Spikey M]

There's no way a man fitted through that mouth hole, surely? Maybe a Chinese Gymnast would fit, but no proper adult would.

[Baz]

The dinosaur statues at gullivers world all have very gaping bumholes, fwiw.

[Don]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-56757772.amp

The cringe...

[Jimmy Floyd]

How can you remain an MP after doing that?

[Raoul Duke]

People are always telling me to be less alluring. I can't hide it, it's just who I am #yolo #livelovelaugh

[Disco]

What sort of sweat soaked Mahow do you have to be to come out with that?

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-57287151

Two things will happen in those booths. Fucking and suicide.

[Yevrah]

Those might be a good place to put all the Domestic Abuse Champions.

[Luca]

1398348370117337088

The Spanish love a bit of casual racism, don’t they?

[Queenslander]

:lol:

[Ian]

They really just don't understand at all.

Not quite up there with Serie A's "look at these monkeys showing how racist we're not" but still.

[SincereTheRebel]

That is amazing

[Shindig]

They really just don't understand at all.

Not quite up there with Serie A's "look at these monkeys showing how racist we're not" but still.

They all have a logic to them that immediately breaks under scrutiny. "But we're all monkeys, man." Yeah, but you can't go around calling them that. "We want the black stamps to be affordable to all." So they're cheap? Good going. :moop:

[Lofty]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-57281448

I feel like this is going to break everyone's brains in the end.

[Spikey M]

It really is as simple as just not being a prick.

If a bloke thinks he’s a bird and wants his willy turned inside out then it has zero impact on my life. Crack on. As long as we're not going down the road of giving them "cervical" screening or any of that ridiculous nonsense then just leave them alone and shut the fuck up.

[Yevrah]

It's a complete cluster fuck that I suspect will be looked back on in a "what the fuck?" way in decades to come if it continues down the road the vocal minority would have you believe it's on.

As someone who doesn't hold many gender norms in the first place, the whole thing is pretty fucking confusing to me, even before you get to the potential ramifications of going down that road.

[Disco]

It's just the new frontier of social acceptance, people who care about what pronoun someone else uses will be the Alf Garnett of their generation.

[Lofty]

I agree that people doing whatever they want regarding their identity doesn't affect anyone else but then you get people on twitter trying to get other people sacked for saying 'Good evening ladies and gentleman' as being intolerant of gender neutral choices etc and it is a can of worms.

[Yevrah]

I agree that people doing whatever they want regarding their identity doesn't affect anyone else but then you get people on twitter trying to get other people sacked for saying 'Good evening ladies and gentleman' as being intolerant of gender neutral choices etc and it is a can of worms.

All that stuff is just noise, the only shame is people are too scared to hit that sort of nonsense head on. The actual potential issue could be far worse. Which is, what if a lot of people turn round in years to come and say "why did you let me do this?". Removing genitals is not cool in any other walk of life and when you're doing it with young(er) people, are they really sure they won't live to regret it? They bloody need to be and I'm glad I'll unlikely have any involvement in helping someone navigate through that decision.

[Spikey M]

Celebrities should have learned to stay far, far away from Twitter by now. No good ever comes of it.

[Pepe]

It really is as simple as just not being a prick.

If a bloke thinks he’s a bird and wants his willy turned inside out then it has zero impact on my life. Crack on.

I don't think that many people have an issue with that. I certainly don't. The main issues are things such as whether parents should have any say on whether their underage kids should transition or not. In the same vein, should teenagers be allowed to make such life-changing decisions, or should they wait until they are adults? Should young children be given puberty blockers? Should gender declaration be enough of a threshold, or should "biology" still play a role? For example, if Lofty is sent to prison after a drunken brawl, is him declaring that he is a woman enough for him to be put in a woman's prison? Can I apply for a woman's only scholarship by checking the I am a woman box today, and then return to being a man tomorrow? There is also the athletics cases, which we've discussed before.

Anyone claiming that asking those questions is being transphobic is a moron that should be avoided.

[Baz]

I had to ask my 3 year old if she identifies as British for the census.

[Lewis]

All that stuff is just noise, the only shame is people are too scared to hit that sort of nonsense head on. The actual potential issue could be far worse. Which is, what if a lot of people turn round in years to come and say "why did you let me do this?". Removing genitals is not cool in any other walk of life and when you're doing it with young(er) people, are they really sure they won't live to regret it? They bloody need to be and I'm glad I'll unlikely have any involvement in helping someone navigate through that decision.


I don't think that many people have an issue with that. I certainly don't. The main issues are things such as whether parents should have any say on whether their underage kids should transition or not. In the same vein, should teenagers be allowed to make such life-changing decisions, or should they wait until they are adults? Should young children be given puberty blockers? Should gender declaration be enough of a threshold, or should "biology" still play a role? For example, if Lofty is sent to prison after a drunken brawl, is him declaring that he is a woman enough for him to be put in a woman's prison? Can I apply for a woman's only scholarship by checking the I am a woman box today, and then return to being a man tomorrow? There is also the athletics cases, which we've discussed before.

Anyone claiming that asking those questions is being transphobic is a moron that should be avoided.

Yeah, it's very easy for us to say we don't care. It's women who get the shit end of the stick in the here and now, and I think Yevrah is right that we will look back on all these mental cases we've allowed/enabled to [further] mess themselves up and wonder what society was thinking.

[Shindig]

I was asked whether I identify as white British when I applied for the house. It's an irrelevant question. :D

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-57284953

:lol:

[Lofty]

Laddo there sealing his legacy as the guy who started on a load of skateboarding kids.

[Spikey M]

Laddo there sealing his legacy as the guy who started on a load of skateboarding kids.

Entitled snobs getting their comeuppance is an underrated genre. I love this shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

From experience, I am confident that rich people in big houses trying to prevent any kind of ability for the rest of the community to function nearby are the absolute worst people.

[Disco]

Same people who would have bitched about teenagers hanging around with nothing to do, I hope they beep at his house forever.

[Spikey M]

One of the joys of new Housing Developments is that there's a legal requirement for some of the new lots to be Council / Housing Association properties. This is particularly fun with one of the Brentwood developments where a road was extended a few years ago.

During lockdown 1 we got bombarded with complaints from locals about a party our tenants were having in the street. It got so bad that one of the Housing Officers eventually had to attend with Police assistance.

When they got there It was a VE Day party like all the ones that were on the News. The kids had made bunting and the locals were all sat in their gardens waving at each other. The biggest sin was the Little Mix album they had playing. It was actually more or less a carbon copy of the party the original residents were also having (sans Little Mix).

The real issue appeared to be that they had paid alot of money for their houses, whilst the social tenants hadn't. Obviously, this should render fun and community unacceptable.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They tend to be very worried about house prices to the exclusion of pretty much anything else in life (I'm not sure how you end up thinking this way).

[Pepe]

It's ok, he is willing to put some money in for redevelopment, as long as it is done elsewhere. :harold:

[Pepe]

They tend to be very worried about house prices to the exclusion of pretty much anything else in life (I'm not sure how you end up thinking this way).

That is literally everyone in the US. It is really odd.

[Spikey M]

They tend to be very worried about house prices to the exclusion of pretty much anything else in life (I'm not sure how you end up thinking this way).

It is a common theme of the phonecalls we have with them.

"WELL, I'D MOVE IF I COULD, BUT I'D HAVE TO TAKE A PRICE CUT NOW!"

No Malcolm, you wouldn't.

[igor_balis]

My mate used to work in a little village pub in the middle of nowhere, and they got noise complaints for a wedding party that was going on in their back garden at about 9pm on a Saturday. The garden is a good 200 yards from any houses as well. Deranged cunts. Same happened here, this young couple (late 20s) had their mummies and daddies buy them this 400k flat next door to a pub that's been there about 100 years, then started complaining about the noise. The tragic thing is that the owner of the pub felt the only option was to have a designated role on the rota each shift for someone to basically mill about outside, telling people to be quiet.

[Shindig]

This is too good for the Covid thread. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-57358492)


The military shooting instructor is on the run with a rocket launcher and a machine gun, and Belgian police cannot find him.


"Unfortunately, he's a trained sniper with heavy armour, military-grade material and weapons. So, these are the kind of people that you would prefer not to have hunting you," he told me wryly.

A sniper with a rocket launcher is a shit sniper, Professor.

[mo]

https://www.express.co.uk/sport/football/1446735/Southend-United-Roots-Hall-fire

Can you say 'insurance job'?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Who knows, but I'm glad it led me to this glorious set of Phil Brown quotes. The true greats never lose it.


They brought former boss Phil Brown back to the club but he was unable to keep the Shrimpers afloat.

"We need to move things on quickly and relegation is never a nice feeling," Brown said after the final game of the season, a 3-1 loss to Barrow.

"I took the six games to back myself and probably in hindsight it was maybe two games short, but that’s life.

"I accepted the six games because I wanted to prove to the Chairman that I can motivate a group of players and win games of football and I was delighted to get my 100th win as Southend United manager.

"That was a very proud moment for me.

"With that in mind, I hope it doesn’t finish there.

"I’ve signed a two-year deal which is geared towards promotion and then it becomes a third year automatically, which I shook hands on and I’m going to back myself to do.

"Hopefully I can get to 200 wins in that short space of time, and if that’s the case then certainly promotion is on the cards, if not back-to-back promotions. Let’s take one step at a time."

[Spikey M]

https://frinkiac.com/video/S09E02/5_zu4ih9JP1Nw76OqtiIanoNZLM=.gif

[Queenslander]

It would be a big help if the British media spoke out about this disgraceful treatment of children.



. It’s been a long three years since the Murugappan family were taken from their home in central Queensland and placed in immigration detention. Here’s how we got here.
https://www.sbs.com.au/news/how-two-queensland-born-girls-became-unlikely-symbols-of-australia-s-immigration-policy

[Spikey M]

We have our own Human Rights abuses to ignore tyvm

[Ian]

Also human rights abuses are only bad when done by countries you don't want trade deals with.

[Kikó]

Ah, and this is the policy Patel aspires to. Nothing like dehumanising people to the point where you're locking kids up in detention centres.

[Queenslander]

I was hoping since Scummo is in your country someone might be kind enough to ask him about it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When the American president is here, other world leaders might as well be random tourists for all our media care.

[Queenslander]

That is fair our media would be the same.

[Spikey M]

Have you considered becoming a Chinese or Russian state? We're happy to criticise them.

[Spikey M]

Or you could launch some of the Children at Israel?

[Queenslander]

We have got some spare indigenous kids in Townsville that could be sold as human shields? These kids wear GPS ankle bracelets for their own good apparently.

[Queenslander]

Christ.



https://i.ibb.co/kHQPb8Q/FB-IMG-1623757443920.jpg (https://imgbb.com/)

[Spikey M]

:D

[Ian]

Take that, remoaners!

[Jimmy Floyd]

That photo op is probably even worse than the crap present our man gave to Joe Biden.

[Shindig]

It reminds me of that Top Gear challenge when they presented an Indian delegation with some Coronation Chicken.

[Spikey M]

1405057516548075521?s=19

It's She's coming home.

[Jimmy Floyd]

When they talk about Richard Madeley 'going Partridge', he basically is Partridge in the first place isn't he? I'd be amazed if there wasn't at least some unconscious use of him in the original creation of the character.

[Boydy]

I thought Coogan had said before he had based Partridge partly on him?

Either way :D

[Lofty]

Take that, remoaners!

Are we not allowed to move to Aus as part of the deal or something?

Lol at Cummings breaking out the Whatsapp screenshots.

[Spikey M]

There's no way the Aussie mob would have that. They'd have the lot of us on Christmas Island breaking rocks.

[niko_cee]

Nah, they like the fair skinned migrants. Well, some of them.

[Lewis]

The weirdest trade deal in history, where Australian things are said to be both too far away to be of any benefit to British consumers but an existential threat to our producers. One for the University of Woolamaloo.

[Shindig]

I had this pop up in my twitter feed.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/hjacb-help-maya-move


My name is Diane, and I'm creating this fundraiser on behalf of my partner Maya. Maya has been living with me and my other two partners for the past year and a half, and unfortunately, can't stay with us any longer.

Really paints a picture. 3 is too many.

[Manc]

The use of 'too disabled" reads like they're just lazy fuckers.

[Spikey M]

How have they got $855 worth of donations ffs? People will give to any old shite. We're missing a trick.

[Lewis]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-57496373

Awful way to go, but that's not a bad mugshot for her age.

[Shindig]

And they say revenge is best served cold.

[Manc]

https://news.sky.com/story/love-island-stars-to-be-offered-minimum-of-eight-therapy-sessions-and-social-media-training-after-show-itv-says-12334001?dcmp=snt-sf-twitter

Desperation from ITV.

[Baz]

Inject it into my veins.

[Disco]

What does the sugar do, attract wasps?

[Lewis]

Sticks to your skin.

[Offshore Toon]

She looks pretty shit for 59 imo.

[Spikey M]

Probably looks better than her husband though.

[Queenslander]

Lol

Magistrate who had relationship with young court clerk wins her super benefit.
https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/victoria/magistrate-who-had-relationship-with-young-court-clerk-wins-her-super-benefit-20210616-p581hg.html



Magistrate Rodney Higgins, who created controversy in 2019 by embarking on a relationship with a court clerk 45 years his junior, has successfully claimed her $180,000 superannuation death benefit even though it was bequeathed to her struggling mother.

Mr Higgins, who earns $324,000 a year as a magistrate in Bendigo, made the successful claim on the death benefits of his late fiance Ashleigh Petrie after the fund, Rest Super, agreed with his argument that he was her de facto partner and therefore her “dependent

[Ian]

He sounds like a class act.

[Queenslander]

Super Boomer.

[Ian]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-57507456

If he's admitting that much I assume the entire population is in fact dead.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Clearly the problem doesn't extend to the presidential (dear leaderly?) kitchens.

[randomlegend]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-57496373

Awful way to go, but that's not a bad mugshot for her age.

Jesus Christ what an absolute monster. That's the sort of thing you expect from the Cartels.

[Spikey M]

She's a Scouser.

[Kikó]

Lol

https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/victoria/magistrate-who-had-relationship-with-young-court-clerk-wins-her-super-benefit-20210616-p581hg.html

Reverse gold digging :cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1406671920771342338

Thunder...

[niko_cee]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-57549653

NZ bringing the lols to what will otherwise be a crappy Olympics.

[Spikey M]

Ridiculous. This stuff Probably sets back Transgender acceptance by decades too.

[Baz]

In the 2016 olympics the women’s gold medalist did 121kg and 153kg. 2nd was 119 and 142.

In an event on 2019 Hubbard did 131kg and 154kg.

[Spikey M]

Won a silver medal at the men's World Championship in 2012 apparently. :happycry:

[Kikó]

At least her testosterone is low.

[SincereTheRebel]

Cant transformers just have their own category?

[Shindig]

They should have their own Olympics, really. Just paint the rings in rainbow colours.

[Don]

'Transformers' is outstanding, well played.

[Lewis]

Women should just refuse to compete against them, but Nike would probably have any boycott ringleaders assassinated before they sorted it.

[Yevrah]

We have run utterly mad as a society on this.

[Yevrah]

Just watched the Sharron Davies interview at the bottom of that link. She really is a hero of our time and clearly knows her shit, yet there she is having a tweet thrown at her in which she clearly didn't say what the idiot interviewing her suggests she did.

[Pepe]

They should have their own Olympics, really. Just paint the rings in rainbow colours.

The rainbow colors are not inclusive enough anymore. Get on with the times.

[Shindig]

Fine, we'll paint the rings, have no separation between men and women (unless a competitor specifically wants it because they're scared of their own past), everyone gets an acceptance medal for turning up and we rebranding it the LGBTQIA+Lympix.

Fuck knows what we'll do with the changing rooms. We'll also have a Pokemon trading card event. Something tells me there'll be a high uptake on that.

[Baz]

Sign me up.

[SincereTheRebel]

I want in.

[Shindig]

Okay, all we need you to do is identify as something and we'll send out the welcome pack. Can I interest you in the 100m Fursuit?

[Queenslander]

Scummo talking shit about the Chinese is working real well for me I can't access my bank account for the 2nd time in 2 weeks.

[Ian]

1406990765906145281


https://youtu.be/-KAWylrnlvA

Have we already discussed this? Jesus Christ.

[Kikó]

It's fucking absofuckinglutely insane.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I find it genuinely hard to believe that that has gone through any kind of meetings. The ignorance of reality is absolutely astonishing.

[Shindig]

"Make sure there's at least one Iman in the front row of every crowd shot."

[Ian]

Just go the whole hog and make it mandatory for kids to salute a picture of Boris every morning because this has that sort of vibe to it.

[Shindig]

"We won many wars and opened our doors."

Yeah, that rhymes but maybe don't put those together.

[Jimmy Floyd]

In its defence (bear with me on this), it's very tedious how everyone is going NAZI GERMANY! Are people aware that there have been historical periods other than Nazi Germany? It's much more North Korea or Great Leap Forward China, if you ask me.

[Ian]

I've just clocked this bit on the front page:
"OBON aims to give a new impetus for the creation of a harmonised society, to make Britain an international model of moral rectitude."

There are simply not enough lols in the world for that.

[Yevrah]

Well, that is the best thing to do with England I've seen in the last two weeks...

[Ian]

Are people aware that there have been historical periods other than Nazi Germany?

Are people in England aware of this? No. You know they're not. There's at least a third of the country who seem to think that they, personally, were somehow integral to defeating the Bosch and driving the Spirit of the Blitz.

North Korea and RESPECTING THE FLAG in Murica is where my mind went with this though.

[Yevrah]

Aren't the people who compare EVERYTHING to Nazi Germany basically children?

[Spikey M]

"We won many wars and opened our doors."

Yeah, that rhymes but maybe don't put those together.

We ruled many waves and sold several slaves.

[Ian]

Godwin's Law is, what, 20 years old? 30?

It's not a new phenomenon and for those lacking in imagination it will probably always be the go-to comparison for this sort of thing.

[Kikó]

Spoken like a true Nazi.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Maybe they've just seen Cabaret and think that song in the beer garden is real.

[Spikey M]

This whole flag wanking nationalist push is both cringeworthy in its transparency and a little alarming in the type of people this is going to motivate.

[Boydy]

Apparently One Britain One Nation is a private company so I'm sure the CEO of it will turn out to be some Tory cabinet member's mate.

[Boydy]

This whole flag wanking nationalist push is both cringeworthy in its transparency and a little alarming in the type of people this is going to motivate.
You're only starting to worry about this now?

[Ian]

Apparently One Britain One Nation is a private company so I'm sure the CEO of it will turn out to be some Tory cabinet member's mate.

https://www.onebritainonenation.com/ceo-founder

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's completely un-British, we should be playing everything down. Oddly a lot of this stuff does emanate from the Sikh/Hindu community who fucking love the Queen and the flag. They're backed up by another section of the Tory party who get hard for American-style national iconography they've seen in films.

[Ian]

I'm loving the Testimonials page:

"As the National Governing Body for the sport of Olympic-Style Wrestling in the UK, the British Wrestling Association supports the concept of One Britain One Nation."
Colin Nicholson
Chief Executive, British Wrestling Association

Given this and the Powerboat GP endorsement I feel like they've just spammed an email out to a shitload of people and put in literally any who responded.

[Spikey M]

You're only starting to worry about this now?

Racism has been on the rise since Brexit, but with every passing lurch towards nationalism they are further empowering these cunts. It's not a new concern, but its growing one.

Harrold would be the new (thick) Enoch Powell by now if he wasn't dead / in prison.

[Lewis]

It is cringeworthy, but people need to sort their lives out. The stuff about 'shared values' is much more New Labour's attempt at a 'national slogan' than anything (and more sinister than flag-waving).

[Ian]

1407741479812993025

Nice priorities, mate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Anyone proud to be British (like me) would be completely embarrassed about bullshit iconography, or even about admitting they were proud to be British.

[Lewis]

I'm not sure how this cringeworthy twee cunt Very British Problems idea of patriotism became seen as the norm. British people don't have flags and... There was about a twenty year post-imperial, embarrassed at how shit the country was period where we didn't, but everything before and since has had a flag or British or Royal on it (check your food for Royal Warrants). The sad people are just roaring about it now because they aren't (officially at least) in a position where they can define it all as open borders and fairness.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Big difference between having flags on things, and talking for self-promotional reasons about how we should have flags on things. Trying to performatively install portraits of her maj everywhere is just as much culture war bollocks as wanting to have them taken down is.

The old saying applies about being a lady. If you have to tell someone you are, you aren't.

[Lewis]

Presumably flags only end up on things following talking about whether to have flags on those things for self-promotional reasons. There is a long tradition of having a picture of the sovereign in your home or workplace, so, whilst it may have fallen out of fashion (and be a bit sad these days), it's not some alien thing we've imported from the wannabe American loser wing of the Conservative Party. Either way, they could do to approach this sort of thing with a bit more intelligence and less cringe, since [soft] nationalism is probably our best bet to avoid/moderate a lot of the communal violence we have coming down the line. Union Flag burkas for all.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They would do better to look at the psychological factors underpinning the cult worship of the NHS (which is very real) and try and deploy those around other things. Iconography ain't it.

[Boydy]

Lewis hyping up a race war?

[Lofty]

It's the same as clean up for the queen or whatever that shit was, bellends circle jerking over shit no-one cares about. Being British is about being disaffected in general and only feeling a sense of union when disliking either your immediate neighbours or a larger, existential threat. It is hard to comprehend this level of shit sniffery is real but I suppose turbo flag shagging is just fur suit wearing for snobs.

[Ian]

Imagine having an affair with Matt Hancock.

[Spikey M]

Sometimes career progression just isn't worth it.

[Shindig]

Maybe she was trying to get him sacked?

[Ian]

What, for infidelity? By Boris Johnson?

[Spikey M]

He's been trying to get sacked for about 18 months now.

[Spikey M]

1408326357713571843?s=19

:sick:

Also, that CCTV still does his hairline no favours at all. Get Lewis on the case.

1408227902072799232?s=19

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's been trying to get sacked for about 18 months now.

I was going to say, he probably leaked it himself just to make them finally do it.

[Spikey M]

Or he's just copying the boss because he wants him to like him again.

[Ian]

Unless he's impregnated a few of them then he's a bottling little shit in BoJo's eyes.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't think shagging is a sackable offence, but shagging in the office probably is, so photos very much needed.

Unless...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZB62oaOeqR0

[Yevrah]

This isn't news.

[Ian]

Detestable man in more trouble. It's the feel-good story of the week.

[Spikey M]

First you don't believe that football's coming home. Now you're not interested in a good old fashioned SCANDAL? Are you sure you're British?

[Lofty]

This isn't news.

It's news if he has been pumping her while promoting her/giving her favourable treatment, as per the ministerial code. Fortunately the government couldn't a shit about the ministerial code.

[Manc]

Fortunately the government couldn't a shit about the ministerial code.

Sometimes I wonder just what it would take to feel the axe.

[Spikey M]

It's amazing. They make their own rules and set their own wages, but they still can't help breaking them and fiddling their expenses.

[Yevrah]

It's news if he has been pumping her while promoting her/giving her favourable treatment, as per the ministerial code. Fortunately the government couldn't a shit about the ministerial code.

If that's the case then agree completely.

[Yevrah]

And further to that, I can't recall a more obvious case of keeping a sacrificial lamb on board until the time comes than Hancock throughout this.

[Ian]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-57612441
"Health Secretary Matt Hancock admits breaking social distance guidance with aide"

Genuinely had a proper lol at that headline.

[Manc]

Oliver Tress looks like a downie playing the role of Clark Kent.

[Lewis]

He has a good looking wife, and his mistress is a sort as well, so what has he got a magic cock or something?

[Lofty]

Supposedly the power is an aphrodisiac.

[Shindig]

It only attracts thick women, though. Look at Carrie Symonds.

[Don]

This Miami building collapse is a madness. It dropped like the twin towers.

[Lewis]

Probably the same people who did it.

[Luke Emia]

Sometimes I wonder just what it would take to feel the axe.

Boris needs a scapegoat for the enquiry…

[Waffdon]

1408539864950358019

Of all people to cheat with :sick:

[Shindig]

Yeah, social distancing is the least of his worries.

[Lewis]

lols aside, whoever passed that footage on should do time.

[Alex]

Something about his hand movements, the awkward groping of the arse and the little dance and what not, is just equal parts hilarious and horrifying.

It's like a 13 year old boy acting out an encounter with a women in the way he thinks it should go based on films and television programmes he has seen. Except it's going on in the body of a 42 year old man. It's all just bizarre. I'm not sure whether I'm disgusted with him or I feel a little bit sorry for him. :D

[Shindig]

I bet he's blocking the door so she can't run. And he thinks if someone walks in, they won't be able to tell what's going on.

They're really hammering home the Covid angle. :D (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-57619721)

[Kikó]

To be fair to him, I doubt you can look good snogging. Maybe if you're attractive people give you a pass but it's just a grope and a feel when you're deep into one.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think people's expectations are formed around DiCaprio and friends doing it in films, rather than how normal people actually do it (same with sex).

[Disco]

And Janey dear, I doubt anyone was trying to get into your 'clam shell' so jog on love.

[Waffdon]

And Janey dear, I doubt anyone was trying to get into your 'clam shell' so jog on love.

She might be the most unfunny and annoying person on the planet.

[niko_cee]

I know we no longer really have much interest in it due to the loss of our dear Benelux friends, but it was pretty lol yesterday seeing some daft bint with a Bonjour Maman sign take out pretty much the entire peleton on the first day of the tour.

https://static.straitstimes.com.sg/s3fs-public/styles/article_pictrure_780x520_/public/articles/2021/06/26/tourdefrancecrash27.jpg?itok=i32Pl7Yu&timestamp=1624722356

[Spikey M]

:lol:

[Queenslander]

How does she get on with life after that?

[Lofty]

She is going to get sued by the sounds of it, so poorly I would imagine.

[Disco]

It's normally people taking photos that get in the way but that is a particularly dumb thing to have done.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Similar mindset to the weirdos who run out into the middle of rally stages (or used to, before elf'n'safety took over).

[Spikey M]

1409114648159297545?s=19

[Spikey M]

The witch hunt in the replies has imminent suicide attempt written all over it.

[Shindig]

Similar mindset to the weirdos who run out into the middle of rally stages (or used to, before elf'n'safety took over).

Group B giveth and taketh.

[Disco]

It was a driver strike more than anything, but same result in the end.

[randomlegend]

I'm always surprised how close they let the fans get at the cycling events. Always seems like an accident waiting to happen.

[niko_cee]

It's not really a case of letting them get as close as they do, more of a practical impossibility to fence off the whole of France [or wherever].

She now appears to be a fugitive from the law (well, at least wanted by Les Gendarmes)

[Shindig]

I mean, it can't just be the organisers wanting to sue. Any riders that got injured would be in.

[Baz]

Pretty sure a flimsy cardboard sign wouldn’t knock me off my bike.

[Spikey M]

I think it was her arm.

[Bernanke]

https://i.imgur.com/hYCNIfv.jpg

Amazing.

[Queenslander]

Brutal.

[Disco]

I've only just noticed she appears to be dressed as Where's Wally.

[Queenslander]

Our acting Prime Minister is a deadset Simpsons character.

https://i.ibb.co/NxcBcCg/r0-0-800-600-w1200-h678-fmax.jpg (https://ibb.co/SNFCFyD)