News of the day

[Spikey M]

That's a really awful thing to say about someone with severe depression that's had multiple suicide attempts.

He's an insufferable cunt. Mental health issues or no mental health issues.

[Raoul Duke]

I'm just more interested/concerned why they didn't brand this thing GAYDAR and turn it loose.

[Boydy]

He's an insufferable cunt. Mental health issues or no mental health issues.

What's insufferable about him?

[Spikey M]

Have you seen him on Question Time? He's basically Paul Ince if anyone bothered to listen to him.

[Shindig]

Looks like the brains trust are at it again.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41278545

Glad I've decided to give London a miss. Seriously, this year's been like an incident a month.

[mikem]

Well, our brain trust is worse. We've made it virtually impossible to convict a police officer. Anyone who has moved into active pursuit should lose their right to a defense of "fear for their safety."

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2017/09/15/st-louis-tenses-for-verdict-in-murder-trial-of-former-police-officer/?utm_term=.545b8111e616

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-41277549

Chinese village has created a giant QR code from trees.

[Magic]

He's an insufferable cunt. Mental health issues or no mental health issues.

The fuck? What's he done?

[Giggles]

Sounds like the licence fee is being well used.

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/ireland/irish-news/rté-vows-to-punish-producer-behind-anonymous-tweets-1.3222765

https://mobile.twitter.com/rtesecretpro

[Spikey M]

I didn't realise this gaff doubled up as the Clarke Carlisle fan club. 'Kinell.

[John Arne]

:D

Are they just going to keep adding letters for things that mean the same thing...

Some big lass at the Emmy's...
https://gyazo.com/50d16927d7ce23fbbddcef536258ea11.png

[Spikey M]

It doesn't make sense. I mean, Lesbians are gay so you can lose the L for starters. I'm assuming Q is for queer? If so, why is that needed alongside gay? No idea what the I and A stand for, but I'm sure they'd be covered by G&T as well. Which is apt, because you have to be G&T to think drinking G&T is acceptable behaviour.

[Shindig]

A probably stands for Asexual. They'll throw a P in there at some point for Pansexuals. Hell, let's cut to the chase.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMOPQRSTUVWXYZ Pride.

[Alex]

You would think the asexual's would just want to be left out of it anyway, wouldn't you. Isn't that the point, that they're not bothered about any of it? Surely even the most committed bigot would have a hard time even finding out someone is asexual and, even then, what is there to follow up with really? "So you, erm.....haven't been sexually or romantically involved with anyone recently? Loser!". I don't see it.

[phonics]

As an organisation that actually works with the oppressed part of these groups. (Gay men in Uganda/Kenya, Transexuals in Pakistan/South America etc.) We just use LGBT as they're the ones actually facing systematic legal oppression.

The common takeaway I get is that the constant expansionism is basically NGOs trying to get funding by expanding the categories to involve more people.

They can't get funding to engage gay men because there's a million other NGOs that do it already and do it better so they go outside those gaps. They then send off their press releases to the likes of NUS Presidents telling them that now this thing that only they concentrate on is VERY IMPORTANT using a study that they funded to justify the importance of the issue.

It's dumb. Many of the arguments that Ital had with Yev over Academia Funding/Bird Flu can be very much applied to the NGO world too.

[Pepe]

You have to be more inclusive. Best way to do it is to separate people into as many groups as possible.

[Spikey M]

:D

[Shindig]

If you sat them down and said, "Would you rather have diversity or equality?" their heads would spin.

[Magic]

Since our local paper has removed it's paywall (because nobody paid it lololol) I've been able to enjoy gems like this again:

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/perth-kinross/509927/saw-swastikas-soles-perth-pensioner-claims-amazon-sold-nazi-slippers/

[mugbull]

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-41330272

Not only was this douche doing literally the worst thing in the world, the charges he has been arraigned on are fucking jokes.


Tay Boon Keh has been charged with 286 counts of mischief, according to the Straits Times newspaper.

Mischief eh?

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41331152

The Spaniards are fucking idiots. Best way to win an argument is definitely to stop democracy and start arresting people.

[niko_cee]

Worked for Franco.

[Giggles]

I have no words. Well I have many, but...


A Canadian man who was married, with seven kids, has left his family in order to fulfill his true identity - as a six-year-old girl.
In an emotional video with gay news site The Daily Xtra in collaboration with The Transgender Project, Stefonknee (pronounced ‘Stef-on-knee’) Wolscht, 52, of Toronto, says she realized she was transgender - rather that simply a cross-dresser - at age 46, and split from her wife, Maria, after she told her husband to 'stop being trans or leave'.
Now, Stefonknee lives with friends who she cans her 'adoptive mommy and daddy' as a six-year-old girl, dressing in children's clothing and spending her time playing and coloring with her adoptive parents' grandchildren.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3356084/I-ve-gone-child-Husband-father-seven-52-leaves-wife-kids-live-transgender-SIX-YEAR-OLD-girl-named-Stefonknee.html

How do you let that cunt be around kids?

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/12/11/15/2F47E99A00000578-3356084-image-a-6_1449847692374.jpg

[Spikey M]

:lol:

[Raoul Duke]

So you can now also choose your age, not just your gender?

[Giggles]

Yes. I've decided this morning that I'm 21.

[Lewis]

If you're mentally ill.

[Boydy]

That story's been doing the rounds for a while. I think we had it on here before.

But yeah, that person needs help.

[Shindig]

An article from 2015. I wonder why these resurface?

[Giggles]

An article from 2015. I wonder why these resurface?

So it is, I'd seen it tweeted.

Though I suppose it's fairly relevant with the new sudden craze for 'how can I be more different than all the other differents?'

[phonics]

I can't find my Surveillance thread so I'm putting this here.

It's fucking terrifying

912317831609552898


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fq1SEqNT-7c

[Magic]

What looks like an ANPR system, how is that terrifying?

[phonics]

You saw that it can do it on people and bicycles yeah? This is the footage they've released to the public. They're a lot further forward than this to the point it can recognize gait.

[Magic]

They're going to struggle with facial recognition...

[phonics]

They're going to struggle with facial recognition...

You could do facial recognition commerically with an Xbox 360 hooked up to a Kinect in 2010, it's one of the easiest ones. It's literally built into an iPhone at this point.

[SvN]

He was making a joke about Chinese people all looking the same.

[phonics]

Why my mind didn't inherently jump to racism I don't know.

[Magic]

:harold:

[Giggles]

None of this is any issue of you're not up to no good.

[Spikey M]

None of this is any issue of you're not up to no good.

Even in China?

[Giggles]

Even in China?

Actually, yeah you're probably right there.

[Shindig]

Okay, that's straight out of the Watch Dogs trailers. Can you use your phone to hack Chinese steam vents?

[Spikey M]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-41399164

For fuck sake.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-41412911

I'm surprised it hasn't caused a riot.

[Lewis]

'It states pork pies, sausage rolls and pepperoni sticks should not be included'. Hmm. All pork products. :sherlock:

[Boydy]

It says he was given a ham sandwich though.

[Lewis]

It will have been that turkey ham they use in takeaways.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The school looks white-ish, but I bet it's some demonic lefty teacher wanting to protect Muslim kids from exposure to pork products.

[Spikey M]

I’d send my kid dressed as a fucking Ginsters the cunts.

[Shindig]

If you want to promote a balanced diet, give the something rather than banning it.

[John]

I like that they gave the sausage roll back at the end of the day. So they don't actually give a toss what the kid eats, they just want to say they have rules about healthy lunches.

[bruhnaldo]

The fuck did they give it back to him for, then?

Edit: I see John has covered this on the next page. Apologies.

[Lewis]

We did quite well to miss all of this healthy eating bollocks at school. We alternated between the main dining hall, which did everything, and then the supposed healthy option which was just the same shit but no chips, so you had to get sausage rolls and a slice of pizza instead. Towards the end they actually introduced a 'fast food' option to get the waiting times down, which meant going down a different queue and being restricted to burger/hotdog and chips. It was the best thing ever when you were fourteen [and fat]. These days I bet the only hot thing is curry, and you probably have to be transgender to get a pudding.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You say that, but having turkey twizzlers and then not having them was proper heartache.

[Lewis]

As if you ever had them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Of course I had them. Catering contractors are catering contractors whether you're an upstairs or downstairs type. They were bloody marvellous.

[Lewis]

You will have had them at someone's house, asked your mum for some, and then got banned from going round. Anyway, they never got binned until 2005, by which point we were well off school dinners.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think our school binned the mighty twizzlers in about 2003, as all the Twickenham mothers will have complained.

It was the mass produced spotted dick and custard that filled us up after that.

[Lewis]

Even in the fruity 'food technology' lessons we had to endure for a few months they had us making cheesecakes and chilli. It seems like another world (a better world).

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Turkey burgers were the number 1 seller at my school, they were genuinely great.

One at break time and then another with some chips at lunch.

[Boydy]

You will have had them at someone's house, asked your mum for some, and then got banned from going round.

:D

[John Arne]

Just seen that Rooney got away with a 2yr driving ban, zero fine and 12 months community service for being three times over the limit... that seems incredibly lenient - is that sort of sentence typical?

[Shindig]

Probably means Ben Stokes will get manslaughter.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just seen that Rooney got away with a 2yr driving ban, zero fine and 12 months community service for being three times over the limit... that seems incredibly lenient - is that sort of sentence typical?

I'm pretty sure the judge gave him more community service instead of a fine, as he said the fine would have no effect on Rooney.

[Spikey M]

Yeah, isn’t the maximum fine about a grand?

[phonics]

Yeah, isn’t the maximum fine about a grand?

I think it's a percentage of income up to 15k? No idea why 15 popped into my head but it feels correct.

[Spikey M]

It’s always done on income but I didn’t think the maximum was that high.

Edit: It’s £2500. https://www.gov.uk/drink-driving-penalties

[Lewis]

Why does it matter how much you are over the limit? If you're over it you're over it, and being more lenient for being 'just over' implies that there are certain levels of drunkness where controlling a car is still possible.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What else would he get anyway? You only start going to prison when you actually hurt people.

[John Arne]

What else would he get anyway? You only start going to prison when you actually hurt people.

This suggests otherwise.

https://www.gov.uk/drink-driving-penalties

Though amazingly, it doesn't actually give any further detail.

[Lewis]

You would have to be doing ninety past a school to get anything drastic.

[John Arne]

Why does it matter how much you are over the limit? If you're over it you're over it, and being more lenient for being 'just over' implies that there are certain levels of drunkness where controlling a car is still possible.

But surely you accept that the more drunk you become, the more impaired you become. Whilst I agree that if you are over, you are over - it also seems pretty obvious that there is a difference between being .01 over the limit, versus 0.4.

[Lewis]

Then why have an official limit? Just stop people and judge it on the scene.

[phonics]

Because you have to have a limit to prosecute...

[Lewis]

Then there should be a way to challenge it. Maybe get drunk and then complete a driving course in front of the judge.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I imagine you would get fewer years for murdering someone with a donk on the head than you would for (say) stabbing someone 300 times, cutting their heart out, eating their genitals and shitting in the corpse's mouth. The population is -1 in both cases.

[phonics]

What? You realise that it's testing your alcohol:blood ratio right?

If me and Andre The Giant both drank 3 beers, I would be closer to over the limit then he is.

[SvN]

There are multiple additional crimes being committed in the second scenario.

[Lewis]

Yeah, and somebody who is good at driving could still control a car 'over the limit' better than somebody who is crap at it regardless.

[phonics]

Yeah no Formula 1 driver has ever crashed a car sober, let alone when pissed.

[Lewis]

You want to see some of the idiots out there on the roads. Not a chance drunk me is worse.

[phonics]

Isn't you getting 'drunk' having half a pint of shandy washed down with a glass of milk? I'm not sure you're the best representative of the idea of being over the limit.

[Disco]

There's no magic line over which you're suddenly drunk, having a limit at all acknowledges that there are amounts of alcohol that can be in your system without impairing your driving.

[Lewis]

Isn't you getting 'drunk' having half a pint of shandy washed down with a glass of milk? I'm not sure you're the best representative of the idea of being over the limit.

My tolerance is actually well impressive.

[Boydy]

Have you started drinking regularly now?

[Disco]

But you see Your Honour the milk means that I'm still able to....

*Contempt of court*

[Lewis]

Not regularly, but me and my friend have set out to get drunk a few times and they're always out of it before I'm past the probably couldn't drive point.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You sound like Private Pike.

[Mazuuurk]

Not regularly, but me and my friend have set out to get drunk a few times and they're always out of it before I'm past the probably couldn't drive point.


This sounds really imaginary, man.

[John]

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/angus-mearns/517127/everybody-was-flung-poo-fighting-carnoustie-kids-make-mess-of-residential-street/

What a headline. Sort yourself out, Waff.

[randomlegend]

http://www.wymondhamandattleboroughmercury.co.uk/news/five-arrested-and-one-injured-after-chainsaw-and-garden-spades-used-in-south-norfolk-market-town-fight-1-5218083

Holy shit this is the town I live in :D

[Shindig]

Now is not the best time to do this. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41466140)

Our lot do it on bridges. The Chinese are amazed by it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bunch of morons. Bible nuts don't blow you up.

[Lewis]

https://s1.postimg.org/1d5f2dyjnz/contact-busey.jpg

[bruhnaldo]

Damn I literally just watched that movie yesterday. ^

[Adamski]

https://s1.postimg.org/1d5f2dyjnz/contact-busey.jpg

Mokbull needs a haircut.

[Spikey M]

http://www.bbc.com/news/av/magazine-41311476/it-s-ok-to-make-mayonnaise-while-on-your-period

Well that’s a relief.

[Giggles]

Ghosts.

http://m.independent.ie/videos/have-you-seen/watch-ghost-caught-on-camera-corks-oldest-school-releases-eerie-cctv-footage-36196792.html

[Disco]

There's certainly no other explanation.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Paddy O'Poltergeist running wild there.

[Giggles]

The crystal clear CCTV is a bit of a giveaway. I'd say the pentagon has a lower frame rate.

[Magic]

Fake news.

[Shindig]

Fake boos, more like.

[Magic]

Fake woooooooooooooooooooooooos!

Or is that Ric Flair?

[Giggles]

Fake ghouuuuls.

[Pepe]

Not sure if the best thread, but this article on Mert and his buds is brutal.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/11/a-death-at-penn-state/540657/

[Lewis]

'The story is ultimately about the callousness and even cruelty of white men'. Yeah, alright, love.

[Pepe]

Triggered.

[Shindig]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41536552

Just admit you did it, Jens.

[John Arne]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41536552

Just admit you did it, Jens.

I was going to say that she was proper milf... then I read that she was only 30....

[Spikey M]

Stabbed to death via the minge. Sick fucker.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sounds like Madsen has his head screwed on right. A real nice guy.

[Shindig]

I just find it great that he attempted to suicide himself in the sub, failed and realised he'd have to come up with a story. "Oh, I left her ashore in Copenhagen." Which became, "Well, she actually died in a horrible accident with definite head trauma so I buried her at sea. In bits."

[Pepe]

suicide himself

https://i.imgur.com/qTLPM.gif

[Shindig]

Aye. I know. :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41539463

Never ride wit Nelly.

[Spikey M]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/41542818/dove-apologises-for-racist-facebook-advertising-campaign

:lol:

[Shindig]

Saw the first image and thought, "They're not doing that, are they?"

:|

[phonics]

As many people probably already know there's a same sex marriage vote coming up in Australia. This piece of literature says you should interpret your thoughts on the issue through... the death of Paul Walker from Fast & Furious?

https://i.imgur.com/vGzz8Ra.png
https://i.imgur.com/fiuZDlP.jpg

[Queenslander]

It will pass the silent majority will vote yes.

[phonics]

Yeah but what about Paul Walker?

[Queenslander]

Ill need to ask my local priest.

[wullie]

My Brexit vote was based on Brian Harvey running himself over in his own car.

[Disco]

Yeah but what about Paul Walker?

Sounds like you'll soon be able to marry him in Australia.

[phonics]

Sounds like you'll soon be able to marry him in Australia.

First gays, now necrophilia. You liberals disgust me.

[Disco]

Stop judging me you nazi, I'll be in my safe space for the rest of the afternoon if you need me.

[phonics]

I just saw a black man in the street wearing a hoodie holding hands with a white woman so I'm going to need to jump in that safe space with you.

[Disco]

Hotbox. :drool:

[Giggles]

The Australian one isn't a proper vote is it? As in no matter what happens the establishment can ignore the result if they like.

[Disco]

Even if it's non-binding in a legislative sense they'd be stupid to ignore what a majority of the electorate think.

[Giggles]

Even if it's non-binding in a legislative sense they'd be stupid to ignore what a majority of the electorate think.

Depends on what sort of people are running things.

[Baz]

The bloke behind this petition (http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/footballs-most-important-petition-tessellation-hexagons-a7987926.html) was on talkSPORT yesterday. Get a life, man.

[Shindig]

Puns at the ready. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-41565814)

[Giggles]

I'd rather be hit by the fucking bus.

http://www.dailyedge.ie/horseshoe-bus-seats-3643853-Oct2017/

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Whoever thought of that has never had to get on a bus. Awful, awful.

[Magic]

Good idea except only cunts take the bus.

[Yevrah]

I'm struggling to keep up with how many kids these two had while held hostage.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41620131

[Spikey M]

That’s quite a beard.

[Baz]

I assume at least one of them isn’t his.

[Lewis]

So they went to try and join, but whichever group found them figured they would make better hostages than members. Right?

[Disco]

There's more to this than has been reported methinks. A husband and wife with different surnames and she is repeatedly referred to as 'Ms', her parents pretty blatantly calling out the husband as an idiot which he clearly is, a history of association with questionable people, and the dodgiest beard I've seen in a long time.

[Yevrah]

It definitely set my 'wrong-un' alarm off.

[Shindig]

"We were delivering aid in a spot where no aid workers ever work."

Nope, mate. Nope. You've been a massive cunt and continue to be one.


Mr Boyle was once married to a woman who espoused radical Islamist views and is the sister of a former Guantanamo Bay inmate, Omar Khadr. CNN suggested he might fear prosecution by the US authorities.

Cuck as fuck. She sits there and says nothing. He goes on about, "You have to do something about this political situation!" instead of, "Fuck. We've been through a lot. Give us some privacy, folks."

[Giggles]

64,000 muzzers. Only a matter of time.


919198111934775296

[Pepe]

Hopefully they'll be less MISERABLE than you.

[Giggles]

Hopefully they'll be less MISERABLE than you.

Depends, what sort of body count do you need for all the virgins? That's about as happy as you could get.

[phonics]

Shell have just bought an electric motor charging company to install at all their garages as well as in the home.

https://www.ft.com/content/f6f5f88c-af4a-11e7-aab9-abaa44b1e130

You thought the Middle East was destabilised already? See you in 5 years.

[phonics]

Remember when that lady put a cat in a bin and it was front page news for like a week?

7 years ago today.

[SvN]

She was charged 7 years ago today, but the uproar about it all was in August.

[Spikey M]

Coventry cat culling cunt.

[Spikey M]

Do you reckon we will get a 10 year anniversary, feature length documentary like they did for 9/11?

[Kikó]

They're making a film.

[wullie]

I've put a tin of Whiskas outside her house xxx

[Giggles]

My money's on Campbell the sad bastard :D

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-41690920

[Spikey M]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41697913

‘I was merely making my penis disappear, your honour.’

[Magic]

I must admit I do enjoy a good celebrity witch hunt, even if it ends in wrongful accusations and drug dependence/suicide.

[Magic]

Some cunt murderer round corner from me. Hopefully this doesn't affect house prices.

[Giggles]

Headcase with some hostages.


http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-41714114

[Disco]

Warwickshire Police have urged people to avoid a Nuneaton leisure complex

Way ahead of you lads.

[Shindig]

It's league night and his team is two players short.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-41743804

I love this shit. Terrible and huge landscape art in the background, red carpet, various western news organisations banned, waxwork central in identical suits, 'consolidating power', and a unanimous vote to enshrine 'Xi Jinping Thought' into the constitution. Yet apparently we are all in thrall to these guys.

[Magic]

It'd be hilarious if he died today.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Inevitable BBC thinkpiece follow-up: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-41652487

Welcome to Asia, chaps. If you had gender equality in the western sense, their brains would melt.

[Lewis]

The women are every bit as useless as the men, so it wouldn't make any difference.

[Spikey M]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05kh56h

‘Well, basically I just take the latest belief system I’ve been exposed to and invest my whole life in it until something new comes along’

Someone buy him David Icke tickets.

“I met this guy called Bashir... I had no idea he was a Muslim” :harold:

[Giggles]

The state of the brassers :D

http://www.irishmirror.ie/sport/wild-celebrations-involving-strippers-after-11408110

[Spikey M]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-41761399

Gubbed: Tourist edition.

[phonics]

924985426749902848

Mate, just give up.

[John]

He must be on version fifteen of his story by now, and I bet his lawyers have all lost their hair and fingernails.

[Disco]

Why, they're still getting paid.

[phonics]

Meanwhile, these damn millenials are getting everything they could ask for.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNU7iSlVQAAiy8o.jpg:large

[Jimmy Floyd]

Americans do many terrible things but the very worst thing they do is journalistic sentence construction. 'Eager students invaded businesses all over Pratt Tuesday.'

[niko_cee]

A common sense approach for the sustained progress of Pratt.

What more could you want?

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-41810436

I trust that bloke will be having raw carrots and water for his Christmas dinner. It's surely long past time to knock Liverpool down and just start again.

[Spoonsky]

https://www.ksl.com/?sid=46189547&nid=148&title=alleged-u-shooter-arrested-following-search

This has been scary, they couldn't find him the entire morning.

[Giggles]

Ibrahim Halawa must be getting an early run at the Christmas shopping now that he's out.

https://m.independent.ie/irish-news/dublins-blanchardstown-shopping-centre-evacuated-as-gardai-respond-to-ongoing-incident-36281654.html

[Spikey M]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41838386

Now there’s a ‘sign of the times’ read.

[Disco]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41857694

[Spikey M]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41855856

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/tennis/41883462

Lads it's Italy, don't be surprised.

[Yevrah]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/tennis/41883462

Lads it's Italy, don't be surprised.

I'm not really sure where this all ends up. The Two Ronnies the worm that turned sketch might be the answer.

[Yevrah]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/tennis/41883462

Lads it's Italy, don't be surprised.

I'm not really sure where this all ends up. The Two Ronnies the worm that turned sketch might be the answer.

[phonics]

Is it weird that the Saudis have arrested 50 members of the Royal Family, another 30 or so have died in a mysterious plane crash and the only thing I can find online about it is a Guardian article with the headline: 'Saudi arrests show crown prince is a risk-taker with a zeal for reform'?

[Jimmy Floyd]

With Judy Murray as supreme leaderess.

(@ Yev)

[phonics]

With Judy Murray as supreme leaderess.



Now that would be real Saudi reform.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Generally I think if I was a politician in a 2nd-3rd world country and I saw the Manchester Guardian describe me as having a 'zeal for reform', I'd be firing all my bodyguards and fleeing for exile.

[Lewis]

Saudi Arabia peaked the other week when they blamed Iran for them going mental, so helicopter crashes and arrests are a bit tedious.

[Disco]

Isn't it all supposed to be over anti-corruption stuff? You know, the kind of anti corruption measures that used to end in a one way trip to the basement at Lubyanka. The Chinese have been at it as well.

[Disco]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41886608

I'd be more concerned that someone thought it appropriate to pay so much much money for that awful shite.

[phonics]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41886608

I'd be more concerned that someone thought it appropriate to pay so much much money for that awful shite.

They did it after getting financial advice from the same bloke who got caught advising Jimmy Carr to offshore it.

You'd think it's probably a good idea not to take that guys calls.

[Lewis]

These wheezes with foreign companies 'loaning' you your money back are brilliant, and this fanny on the BBC News chasing people around needs to get a life.

[niko_cee]

Weren't Rangers (unsuccessfully) and Arsenal (more successfully) at that years ago? I can never really get my head around it as it seems so simplistic, I guess there are more layers to it if you are in the industry. 'Tax avoidance' from major western nations must account for about 1% of offshore business these days anyway. It's all shady one person/family superwealthy third world jobbies these days, where the main aim is to keep your (ill-gotten) money away from the powers that be in a more meaningful sense (than simply avoiding legal taxation).

[Disco]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41886607

If they're going to extend this to VAT then half the country are probably in there.

[Lewis]

Isn't he an old school tax exile? They might as well look at whether he brings cheap booze over on it.

[Shindig]

And in local news ....

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-41887891

[Disco]

Isn't he an old school tax exile? They might as well look at whether he brings cheap booze over on it.

I'd be amazed if he spent enough time here these days to be classed as a resident.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I like 'just a kid from the UK', as if we're some sort of backward hole with no running water. Actually, now he says it.

[Lewis]

My brother does that, as if we were brought up in the ghetto.

[Yevrah]

This Paradise Papers thing is a right grubby shitfest and has all of the journalistic integrity of an up-skirt shot.

[Shindig]

"You won't believe how legal this is!"

[Spikey M]

I said it last time, I’ll say it again - If I could avoid paying tax, I would. Show me your ways.

[Kikó]

This Paradise Papers thing is a right grubby shitfest and has all of the journalistic integrity of an up-skirt shot.

Why do you think?

For me it's not been as interesting as the other money laundering exposures. It seems more intent on nailing the famous for shipping off their cash than digging into the grubby side channels they're invested in (bar maybe the brightside place the Queen is funneling her cash through)

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Queen had £3,000 in that offshore thing. As I mentioned on the other topic, if you lead with a famous name it literally doesn't matter what the detail of the story actually is, no one will read it.

This is all a result of everyone believing the world should be run by accountants.

[phonics]

I said it last time, I’ll say it again - If I could avoid paying tax, I would. Show me your ways.

The point is you don't make enough money to be allowed to participate in this tax dodging. They both get more money and more ways to keep it.

[Lewis]

It's also not really 'offshore' for the Queen.

[Giggles]

The world gets a bit worse. People are actually calling for his job now :face:

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/i-was-trying-to-put-her-at-ease-civil-servant-awarded-7k-after-john-halligan-asked-was-she-married-during-interview-36301419.html

[Boydy]

'I shouldn't be asking this but...'

Don't then.

[Spikey M]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41921910

He’s such a don.

[Magic]

'I shouldn't be asking this but...'

Don't then.

It's quite incredible isn't it. If you have to prefix any question or statement like that you should know not to bother.

[Spikey M]

'I shouldn't be asking this but...'

Don't then.

Yeah, the headline and the quotes don’t add up. I get the impression a more favourable response would have been followed up with some pretty seedy questions. ‘You must be busy. Do you still find time to be... naughty?’

Still a fucking stupid thing to end up in court over.

[Giggles]

'I shouldn't be asking this but...'

Don't then.

That was his only mistake, but still he just asked if she was married. Another win for the snowflakes.

[Magic]

He even looks like a predator. Case closed. Next thing he'll be taking his own life, that seems to be this month's 'I'm gay btw lol' for the preds.

[Giggles]

#metoo

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've been sexually harassed by Pep Guardiola, Harry Kane, the entire Australian cricket team, and all four members of U2.

[Magic]

Harry Kane is far too thick to be a sexual abuser. He's the sort to be passed around his step-family like some home made sticky toffee pudding and not even realise it.

[Spikey M]

If Lenny in Of Mice and Mean can fiddle, Harry Kane can fiddle.

[Disco]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41966412

Anyone else think this is fishy as fuck? None of the responses line up with what what you'd expect for a holiday-maker being scooped up by the Iranian fuzz.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Boris wouldn't be going around saying she was training journalists unless she was indeed training journalists.

[Disco]

Exactly. He is frequently a buffoon but that seemed an odd leap to have made if she really was just there on holiday. Gove too, he said he had no idea what she was doing there which is what you'd say if you knew exactly what she was doing and it was something dodgy.

[Spikey M]

It’s also what you’d say if you had no idea what she was doing there, mind.

[Magic]

She's probably a terrorist. Death penalty please.

[Lewis]

Yeah, it sounded to me like he had inadvertently revealed the truth, so this will probably end up having been the best thing for her, since nobody appears to have given a fuck until this week.

[Disco]

It’s also what you’d say if you had no idea what she was doing there, mind.

She was arrested in 2016, there's no way they don't know exactly what she was doing. The only reason you say you have no idea is so there isn't a video of you saying she was doing nothing wrong when it turns out she was definitely doing something wrong and we asked her to do it.

[John Arne]

The Guardian really is becoming a joke website. I mean, what the fuck is this??

https://i.imgur.com/hiSTotj_d.jpg

[Lewis]

'becoming'

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's clickbait, just aimed at coffee drinkers rather than kool-aid drinkers.

[John Arne]

I really don’t know why I keep returning :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Could you not find a smaller image?

[Boydy]

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/15660326.Greggs_says__sorry__after_Advent_calendar _launch_replaces_baby_Jesus_with_sausage_roll/

:lol:

[Offshore Toon]

That's quality. I love that they're doing an advent calendar too. Everyone will be doing them within a couple of years.

[Giggles]

:drool: Worse than Istanbul.

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/ireland/irish-news/dublin-ranked-second-worst-major-european-city-for-quality-of-life-1.3292814#ampshare=https://www.irishtimes.com/news/ireland/irish-news/dublin-ranked-second-worst-major-european-city-for-quality-of-life-1.3292814

https://cms-internationsgmbh.netdna-ssl.com/cdn/image/2000w/public/ei2017-best-and-worst-cities_0.png

[Shindig]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/42032629

I wouldn't apologise for that.

[Spikey M]

That’s far more impressive than a couple of Red Arrows drawing a heart. I know who I’d want on my side at war.

[niko_cee]

Good news at the end of the story then.


In August this year, an RAF fighter pilot drew a 35-mile penis on radars monitoring skies over Lincolnshire, England.

[Shindig]

See? Ours was bigger.

[John]

Ratko Mladic has been found guilty of genocide. I wonder how Magic will word his petition.

[Disco]

Will he only serve a portion of his sentence?

[John]

Probably. He's an old man.

[Disco]

I've been done up like a kipper here.

[niko_cee]

:D

I saw it before the edit.

[Boydy]

What is going on here?

[niko_cee]

It originally said Ratio Mladic.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/42080007/school-apologises-and-covers-up-suggestive-statue-of-st-martin-de-porres-and-a-baguette

:lol:

[Spikey M]

I don’t think turning it into a Muslim statue is the answer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-42070712

Another one for the Giggles Hall of Shame.

[Magic]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-42070712

Another one for the Giggles Hall of Shame.

That's basically Mert, isn't it.

[niko_cee]

The weirdest thing about that is he got a (good) job straight out of uni so it's hard to see where he thinks his education has held him back.

[SvN]

Christ, I feel angry reading that.

[phonics]

I thought he looked a bit old to be getting a degree. 17 years ago?

[Shindig]

I'd like to know how this wound up in court.