News of the day

[Giggles]

Baseball is no cricket.

[Spoonsky]

Have you ever watched an entire baseball game?

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are vague similarities in terms of it being bat and ball and you have to score 'runs' by hitting it out of the reach of fielders, but cricket is a lot deeper and has a lot more subtleties and variations.

[Giggles]

Have you ever watched an entire baseball game?

I've went to whole baseball games. It's absolutely horrendous.

[John Arne]

Basketball > USA Football > NHL > Any Other Sport > Nascar > Baseball

[phonics]

You can't even smoke in Baseball stadiums nowadays, sitting there for four hours, I'd go mad.

[Pepe]

From my ultra-limited exposure to cricket, it did seem a bit more nuanced than baseball.

[Shindig]

You can't really bat defensive in baseball and none of their records are legit.

[Baz]

http://www.buckbokai.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Josh-Exley-batting.jpg

All hail Josh Exley. :hail:

[bruhnaldo]

all of this baseball slander smh.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-37858611

It was tragic and that until I reached this paragraph:


Rumours started flying that Fatim had gone on the "Back Way", the now famous name for the boat journey across the Mediterranean to Italy, according to Red Scorpions captain Fatu Fatty.

And then it was just childish laughter to the bitter end.


"A few days later we confirmed from her family that an agent had contacted them to say Fatim was among those on the boat that capsized," Ms Fatty explained in tears.

Sad.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You can't really bat defensive in baseball and none of their records are legit.

The main difference is that baseball is played entirely in the air, whereas cricket also uses the ground, which introduces such a vast range of different possibilities and outcomes. It's also a lot more open-ended and baseball, by comparison, very formulaic.

[Lewis]

I think I would rather watch a baseball match, solely on the assumption that there would be cheeseburgers to be bought.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What food do you imagine they have at cricket grounds?

[Lewis]

I reckon everyone smuggles (takes) Marks & Spencer mini pork pies and sausage rolls in, and I bet it's the most exciting part of the day.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was more in the pre-Blair days. Now it's a queue of 40 people for £11 scampi and chips at the Oval.

'ow much, as they say.

[Pepe]

I think I would rather watch a baseball match, solely on the assumption that there would be cheeseburgers to be bought.

I did enjoy buying peanuts and throwing the peels on the ground like a swine (that's what Americans told me I should do.)

[ItalAussie]

I love cricket, and I definitely think that it's a better sport. I don't like baseball at all.

However, it's easy to underestimate the subtlety of baseball. There's a lot going on there. Also, it's not mostly played in the air - that's a weird idea. There are lots of players who specialise in playing along the ground, stealing bases, etc. You have a few home run blasters, but that's only part of the lineup (albeit the one most suited to highlights).

Cricket is better, but baseball is just as deep in different ways.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I mean between the pitcher and the bat it is entirely in the air, so there are only two variables, speed and direction of flight. Cricket has those plus all the stuff involving the pitch, so there are five or six things going on per delivery. Obviously the ground comes in later on in baseball plays, not least because the players need something to stand on.

[Samadini]

The baseball game I went to see was fucking horrendous, as was all the wanky crowd interaction shit. Pretty much everyone had gone home before the conclusion, what other sport would you get that in?

[mugbull]

The baseball game I went to see was fucking horrendous, as was all the wanky crowd interaction shit. Pretty much everyone had gone home before the conclusion, what other sport would you get that in?

http://i.imgur.com/G5NxVHu.jpg

[Pepe]

I'd say the subtlety of baseball is overstated by its fans, if anything. There is stuff going on, sure, but it still just a bloody game, lets not make it sounds like there is some sort of clash between masterminds going on.

The whole tobacco chewing and spitting is gross as fuck too.

[Samadini]

Don't think those lot were leaving because they were bored, to be fair.

[John]

A woman's had her kids taken off her for throwing elbows at her six year old and putting her in a headlock outside Silverburn. That's Magic in two years.

[Jimmy Floyd]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-37990183

:D / :cab:

[Boydy]

:D

Such a good picture for that story too.

[Disco]

Rory McGrath a sex pest, well I never.

[phonics]

First Nick Hancock, now Rory McGrath, who's next? We already know about Boris' trists. David Gower?

[Jimmy Floyd]

David Gower probably the least likely person in the entire UK to be a sex pest. Gary Lineker is a confirmed adulterer, so that just leaves Jonathan Ross.

[phonics]

It's always the ones you least expect.

[Lewis]

:D

Such a good picture for that story too.

I said this to my friend yesterday (and meant to post it here to lol at the picture). Have you ever seen an outside the court picture that doesn't make them look like a wrong'un? When that lad I knew got done for perving on medical records they captured an absolute beauty of him walking in like a guilty man. It's an art.

[Boydy]

I suppose if you take enough pictures you'll get some where they look bad.

See also: Ed Miliband.

[Disco]

In this case pretty much any picture of Rory Mcgrath would do the job.

[wullie]

http://i4.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article1369519.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/Justin%20Lee%20Collins%20leaves%20St%20Albans%20Cr own%20Court

[Shindig]

I said this to my friend yesterday (and meant to post it here to lol at the picture). Have you ever seen an outside the court picture that doesn't make them look like a wrong'un?

http://i1.chroniclelive.co.uk/incoming/article1393003.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/jeffrey-spooner-leaving-newcastle-magistrates-court-this-week-527898326.jpg

Nope. Used to work with him.

[Spikey M]

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2016/11/15/tinder-gets-trans-friendly-update-dozens-gender-identity-options/93870512/


Tinder now has 37 Gender options. :harold:

[phonics]

No it doesn't. You can write anything in as your gender and it will match you to it, you can input 'Jedi' and it will match you to other users that write Jedi. They just put terms in to auto-complete as any programmer looking to increase engagement in those options would.

edit: Thought I'd update the app to check, turns out it's complete bollocks anyway. Good story. Strong work.

http://i.imgur.com/Rhu18fu.jpg

edit2: Checked my profile gender settings just in case, 2 genders.

I can definitely see it being fully implemented though, get's users off Grindr and on to Tinder. Which is what this is actually about.

[Spikey M]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/articles/37975211

BBC are reporting it too.

[phonics]

That's nice?

[Spikey M]

So you might want to ru your update again.

[Giggles]

Load of fucking tosh. We survived for long enough with two and pandering to all these cunts is just circling the drain.

[phonics]

Why would anyone give one iota of a fuck anyway? It's not like you hang out with these people anyway so what impact does it have on you whatsoever?

[Spikey M]

They might have a 'Beta Cuck' option for you now, Phonics.

[SvN]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-38079322




Man guilty of punching five-day-old baby in Baguley Tesco

Hardy told the court he had thought the "doll" belonged to Elsie Rose's older sister who he had wanted to make laugh.

[7om]

http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/38077727

What a bunch of fucking clowns. How many times have they turned a blind eye or given token fines to clubs whose fans repeatedly racially abuse players?

[Magic]

'including fans wearing poppies'

:D

[Smiffy]

I got myself a crying walking sleeping talking living doll. The baby just looked plastic so I smacked it, a living doll. Now it's off to court I go, fuck you Tesco, I really didn't know. I got a bruised knuckle and no chuckle when I smacked the doll. I'm so sorry Elsie Rose I broke your nose, I thought you were a doll.

[Offshore Toon]

http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/15E70/production/_92621798_davidhardybbc.jpg

He doesn't look like the kind of bloke that would punch a doll for the lols. Proper shitting it, there. He can't have done much damage cause he got off pretty lightly, but the shame of being known as a baby puncher will live with him forever.

[phonics]

He looks like an incredibly large baby so maybe he was just trying to throw his weight around the sandbox.

[Smiffy]

He got off with a fine. Perhaps Gary Glitter and the like should have said they thought their victims were puppets.

[Lewis]

Between the act itself and the excuse ('Oh. Fair enough, mate'), it's the best news story ever.

[John]

It takes something pretty special for an old man to be in the news for trying to get friendly with someone else's child and the story not to be looking for a way to spin it as paedophilia.

[Smiffy]

Old man knocks one out.

Thought it was a doll.

It was actually a 5 year old baby.

She didn't see him coming.

It's impossible to spin that shit.

[Offshore Toon]

Not quite as good as "Tributes left for a dead chicken" imo.

[7om]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3965178/William-Riley-Gaul-charged-murder-Tennessee-cheerleader-girlfriend-Emma-Walker.html

This doesn't remind of anyone in particular at all :eyemouth:

[Smiffy]

Mert?

[Shindig]

Mert would never pull that facebook shit, in fairness.

[Spikey M]

He was punching tbf

[Spoonsky]

http://montreal.ctvnews.ca/triple-stabbing-at-mcgill-metro-1.3177698

:uhh:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-38144598

http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/12517/production/_92713057_capture7.jpg

:harold:

I like them even more now.

The tears of vegans are amazing and, as an added bonus, guilt free.

[7om]

I really don't know where else to put this so here will do:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-3985700/Charlton-owner-Roland-Duchatelet-dictated-team-selection-tried-explain-concept-4-4-2-formation-former-manager-Chris-Powell.html

Fucking hell :D

What an utter cunt.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/38150192/tips-on-how-to-deal-with-webcam-blackmail-or-sextortion-if-youre-a-victim

Well at least that didn't happen to me.

[Lewis]

Who would they expose you to?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

True.

I guess I'm lucky that I'm a lonely hermit :(

[Adamski]

Killer pyjama shorts though.

[Disco]

And a lifetime supply of mugs.

[Adamski]

I think you're getting Mahow and the cam girl confused again.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

Dick.

[Offshore Toon]

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/11/30/13/1066A3CC00000514-3985700-image-a-4_1480512763164.jpg

Jesus. I'm kinda rooting for the owner now.

[Disco]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-38184599

How do you get through the day when you're this much of an idiot.

[Spikey M]

It's illegal to refuse legal tender, so this will end well for them.

[Giggles]

I hope the cunts get fried for not taking it.

[Disco]

How do you logic that out across the rest of your life though? If you're that bothered about a bit of tallow then you can't drive a car or use any kind of transport really, let alone about million other things that should be verboten.

[Bartholomert]

One of the most incredible stories I've ever read:

http://www.state.gov/m/ds/rls/263916.htm

[Disco]

I read that the other day, it's incredible, you see the headline and think 'don't be fucking ridiculous'.

[niko_cee]

I hope the Assistant Regional Security Officer has a liason as well as an investigator.

[Adamski]

Assistant to the regional security officer.

[Foe]

Assistant to the regional security officer.

:D

[John Arne]

It's illegal to refuse legal tender, so this will end well for them.

I think this is a bit of a myth. A shop keeper can pretty much refuse service for any reason they like (except for gays in Northern Ireland, apparently) - legal tender simply means banks and courts have to accept payment via said means. I could be wrong - but this was always my understanding.

[Giggles]

It's like people saying that you should pay speeding fines here in 5c coins, when coins are only legal tender up to 50 of them.

[Spikey M]

It's nothing like that. The clue is in your post; 'only legal tender up to £x'. Which is the case for obvious reasons.

If something is £3, and they give you a £5 note then you have to accept it. 300 1p's they do not.

[Magic]

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/38234763?client=ms-android-samsung#scso=uid_WEgJewAANIMKwAWFFQl7cQ_0:0

Slimy cunt. :D

[John Arne]

It's like people saying that you should pay speeding fines here in 5c coins, when coins are only legal tender up to 50 of them.


It's nothing like that. The clue is in your post; 'only legal tender up to £x'. Which is the case for obvious reasons.

If something is £3, and they give you a £5 note then you have to accept it. 300 1p's they do not.

Isn't that exactly what Giggles said? Basically, it's legal tender up to number of coins, after that, they can reject it.

[Disco]

Lads please, let's just agree that vegans are dickheads and move on.

[John Arne]

Done.

[John Arne]

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/a-very-precise-calculation-of-exactly-how-many-cows-are-being-murdered-for-the-new-fivers

The amount of cows needed to produce all 329,000,000 notes.... HALF OF ONE COW

[Giggles]

I can get on board with that sentiment.

[John]

Isn't that exactly what Giggles said? Basically, it's legal tender up to number of coins, after that, they can reject it.

The story he was referring to is about someone refusing to accept a new fiver though, which isn't like refusing to take payment in a thousand coins.

[Giggles]

I was just giving another example of how the whole "have to accept legal tender!!!" line is normally a load of crap.

Now just call vegans cunts and stop being such a bollix all the time.

[John]

I forgot for a moment that precision was a bad thing in your world.

There was a 'vegan shoe' shop in Berlin. I thought about going in to see what a vegan shoe would look like, but it also sold food and the stench coming out the front door of the place hit you like a strong wind so I didn't bother. I'm still curious though.

[John Arne]

There is a vegan restaurant here that sells duck.

[John]

So not a vegan restaurant, then.

[John Arne]

It claims to be.

[Smiffy]

Is it that fake duck stuff?

[John Arne]

I doubt that they would be that bothered to order that. Probably just duck.

[phonics]

Is it that fake duck stuff?
Fuck?

[Giggles]

America.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/sofia-vergara-being-sued-frozen-9409736

[Shindig]

That didn't need the weird headline. It was weird enough.

[John Arne]

Fucking hell. What a clusterfuck.

[John Arne]

Just read this about the Assange case


Two days later, she arranged to meet him and they went to her flat. They started to have sex, she said, but she moved away because Assange had not wanted to wear a condom, and he fell asleep. She told police they later had sex at least once when he had “unwillingly” worn a condom, but the following morning, after she had gone to buy breakfast and then climbed back into bed and fallen asleep, she had woken to find him having sex with her without a condom.

My missus wakes up if I even think about having sex with her. Unless she was drugged and drunk, there is absolutely no way you could penetrate a women without waking her up. Firstly, it would be like sticking you cock in-between two sheets of sand paper, and secondly, she would wake the fuck up immediately. Actually, one more thing... unless she is lying on her back, legs apart, you've also got the challenge of moving her legs about to improve the access.

So yeah, ever had sex with a sleeping woman...? Do you think it would be possible?

[Baz]

Clearly it's possible but I've no idea how unless, like you said, she's completely unconscious from other substances.

[Spikey M]

I was just giving another example of how the whole "have to accept legal tender!!!" line is normally a load of crap.

Now just call vegans cunts and stop being such a bollix all the time.

To which my point was '300 pennies is not legal tender'.

[Giggles]

I think we were making similar points.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/38250600/potato-letters-ruin-dinner-for-young-mum-and-her-complaint-goes-viral

:face:

[7om]

If that's all you've got to worry about in life then you're doing pretty well. Silly cow.

[John]

Obviously the person who made these from Tesco can't have children.

Bit of an over the top punishment.

[Disco]

When I saw the picture I thought her kid was going to have spelled out NIGGA with his dinner.

[Giggles]

I thought that was the whole point until you just said there that it wasn't.

[Lewis]

It is misleading, why would you sell them as alpha-bites, really they should just be called 'certain letter bites. If you buy them you expect all the letters to be there, that's why I emptied them all out. Apparently it does say on the packet that not all of the letters are in there, but again I don't see the point in that.

Even if they put 'all the letters' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oF1Rd5kis4) in each bag then some names are still going to be off limits. I suppose you could buy two bags; but then why not just buy two bags and find the missing letters in the other one? This is like one of those Harold complaints that falls to bits on contact with reality, and companies should just start telling people like her to fuck off.

[Spikey M]

I know 2 people with children named Logan. Both are cunts. Must be Universal.

[Boydy]

It is definitely a name a dickhead parent would choose.

[Baz]

There's a woman in town whose kids are genuinely called Shakira and Beyoncé. She's fairly normal too. :cab:

[mugbull]

Noah is up there too. Apparently the most common baby names a couple years running, alongside Ethan and Logan. I've met 0 Logans, 2 Noahs (both Jews, so at least there's a reason there) and maybe a couple Ethans. Where they're getting these random names from is beyond me.

[mugbull]

Oh, and Mason, which is a profession.

[Spikey M]

'Beautiful' dinosaur tail found preserved in amber - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-38224564

Jurassic Park is here.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The size of a sparrow?

Fuck off, we want something massive.

[Offshore Toon]

The size of a sparrow?

Fuck off, we want something massive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7TklQTeuSE

[Spikey M]

The size of a sparrow?

Fuck off, we want something massive.

They'll shove some Rhino spaff in it or something.

[Giggles]

Shit like this needs to fucking stop.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4021894/Oxford-University-says-students-use-gender-neutral-ze-place-he.html

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm happy for transpeople to do what they want but there is a real issue with everybody's day being inconvenienced for a vanishingly small number of people.

[John]

Events start with a speaker introducing themselves using a gender neutral pronoun.

Hang on a fucking minute. I'm happy for those who want to identify themselves as 'ze' or 'gender-neutral' to do so, but if we're reaching a point where I can't introduce myself as 'mr' in case some fuckwit gets offended by the very existence of genders then they can fuck right off. We need a war to put all this shit into perspective for these clowns.

[phonics]

Having worked with them quite a bit now, this stuff is largely pushed by people who have never met a transgender person let alone offended one.

[Raoul Duke]

Student unions are full of twats, so it's hard to get worked up over whatever nonsense they're up to. Especially when it's the Daily Heil complaining about things.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I thought this shite was limited to America.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Having worked with them quite a bit now, this stuff is largely pushed by people who have never met a transgender person let alone offended one.

Hands up anyone on here who has met a transgender person. I have met one but I did politics at SOAS so my odds must have been through the floor.

[Pepe]

There is some 'inclusiveness' training for people who teach over here. Friend of mine who had to take it was told that she can't refer to her husband as 'husband' in class, as it is not inclusive.

[Shindig]

What is this shite!? (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-38284946)

Just her entire response is brain damaged.

1. Hey, this man has problems. I'll take a ride with him.
2. Oh, I'm being held hostage.
3. No, I think I'll not press charges. He's unwell.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A 22 year old Swede as well, so it's not like Kangaroo 'Big Mick' McGee was about to take her up, then dump her in, the billabong.

[Max Power]

Shit like this needs to fucking stop.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4021894/Oxford-University-says-students-use-gender-neutral-ze-place-he.html
Ze Roberto progressive ahead of his time. What a man, wait no not a man, what a person.

[Spoonsky]

Hands up anyone on here who has met a transgender person. I have met one but I did politics at SOAS so my odds must have been through the floor.

\o

At a center for the homeless in San Francisco, naturally. I also voted for one to be our senator, a lost cause if there ever was one.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I bet you didn't even look at ze's policies.

You just voted for ze because ze was a transgender.

[Giggles]

I still prefer 'it'.

[Spammer]

I've slept with one. They just dressed up on a Saturday night though.

[Disco]

*Raises hand* One, two, or three depending on your definition.

Friend of a neighbour was, and I assume still is, a transexual (now there's an odd situation, a former boyfriend that she stayed friends with who then ended up having a sex change). She was pretty mental in general and ended up having a massive rant at me because she overheard us referring to another housemate as Mrs Doubtfire (because he's such an old woman) and assumed we were talking about her. That was an interesting New Year.

Also someone I worked with years ago who was a pug ugly boss eyed fucker who once ate only Tesco value white bread and jam for as long as it took him to save up for his 'dream' car (it was a white XR3i). Never actually met him after he made the plunge as it were.

Thirdly the best friend of a friend who would come to our house all the time to hang out. It was so obvious we used to joke about it with him until he finally made it official and started cross dressing, we're no longer in contact so I've no idea how far he took the process. Acted very oddly around me for a while until someone patiently explained that the person in the first anecdote was mental and the stuff she presumably said about me was utter bollocks.

[Offshore Toon]

There's a taxi driver in Jersey that drives around dressed as a woman and kicks you out if you say 'mate' or anything that implies he's a bloke.

[Shindig]

A 22 year old Swede as well, so it's not like Kangaroo 'Big Mick' McGee was about to take her up, then dump her in, the billabong.

"I was really scared. I thought I was going to die!"

He's not calling you back, love. Pick one emotion and stick with it.

[Offshore Toon]

Apparently that story about trannies was nonsense.

http://www.cherwell.org/2016/12/12/ousu-pronoun-policy-story-revealed-to-be-fake/

[phonics]

What's the phrase? A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes?

Seems apt.

[Lewis]

Twice around the world whilst a tranny struggles for heels in a twelve.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-38368295?ns_mchannel=social&ns_campaign=bbc_england&ns_source=twitter&ns_linkname=english_regions

That's one hell of an opener.

[Magic]

No more hilarious local news from me as our local paper has went behind a pay wall. Fucking lol at that.

[Pepe]

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/12/21/506440314/more-than-60-russians-die-from-drinking-bath-lotion-putin-moves-to-cut-booze-tax?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=2049

Can't think of anything more 'Russia' than that.

[phonics]

Lebanon was praised for the government indicating it would appoint it's first ever 'Womens Affairs Minister' as part of the cabinet. They hired a bloke.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/dec/22/lebanon-protests-urged-after-man-picked-as-first-womens-affairs-minister?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

[Lewis]

The one criteria for ministerial appointments there is 'Will everybody accept this and put off killing each other for another day?' Moan all you like, ladies, but why even think about rocking the boat?

[Dquincy]

Old lady has gone overboard on the QE2. :(

[Shindig]

Queen Mary II.

[Dquincy]

:D My one's a bridge isn't it.

[niko_cee]

No, it's a boat as well, or at least was (it is also a bridge). I think it's an arab hotel now. Oh, no, they bought it but ran out of money and so it's just laid up somewhere in the middle east now.

[Spoonsky]

http://fox13now.com/2016/12/29/police-respond-after-reported-shooting-on-university-of-utah-campus/

Delivered pizza there once.

[Magic]

RIP Spoon.

[Pepe]

How are you coping?

[niko_cee]

Careful not to offend those Koreans Jimmy (https://uk.yahoo.com/news/south-koreas-strike-force-moves-closer-kim-jong-122500060.html)


South Korea's defence minister Han Min-Koo said the special unit, known as the Korea Massive Punishment and Retaliation (KMPR) plan, would now be launched two years ahead of schedule.

[Spikey M]

I thought (and hoped) it was just "the Korea Massive" then.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Careful not to offend those Koreans Jimmy (https://uk.yahoo.com/news/south-koreas-strike-force-moves-closer-kim-jong-122500060.html)

I love translations like that. It comes about because their language was developed about 700 years ago and they don't add to it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-38510439

The French cyclist managed 22.547km (14 miles) at the national velodrome, taking the top spot in a new category - for riders over 105.

Hero.

[Giggles]

Shootings in Florida. Can't find the relevant America shooty thread.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-38535699

[Disco]

I wonder what the record is for a single gunman, how would the americans put it, the most shootingest?

[Lewis]

You would expect it to be that Norwegian idiot.

[Disco]

Americans don't know where Norway is though.

[Boydy]

Why, how many people did Saint shoot?

[niko_cee]

Of all the places you could pick to go on a shooting spree, an airport, with it's legions of heavily armed security personnel, must be just about the worst. Even that twat who shot up that military base did better/lasted longer. I suppose if you like a challenge.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Of all the places you could pick to go on a shooting spree, an airport, with it's legions of heavily armed security personnel, must be just about the worst. Even that twat who shot up that military base did better/lasted longer. I suppose if you like a challenge.

Florida Senator just said he emptied 3 magazines then just sat down and waited to get apprehended.

[Giggles]

Muzzie or a yokel?

[Shindig]

Hispanic Iraq war veteran.

[Magic]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-38553643

The original CW6 TV report Mr Patton reacted to was about six-year-old Brooke Neitzel from Dallas who had been talking to her family's Echo Dot while playing.
Brooke asked Alexa to get her a doll's house and cookies and, because the family had not turned on any buying controls, the Echo responded by placing an order for both.

:harold:

Fuck me.

[Disco]

It's the old 'xbox turn off' all over again.

[wullie]

I won't be happy with this story until there's a photo of a local person looking glum either holding a receipt or pointing at the Amazon thing.

[Mazuuurk]

Is this.... real?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/38552656/mike-tyson-will-train-chris-brown-in-his-fight-against-rapper-soulja-boy?intc_type=promo&intc_location=sport&intc_campaign=tysontrainingbrown&intc_linkname=newsbeat_ent_article1

[Disco]

It'll be an awful slapfest if it even happens.

[Baz]

Is this.... real?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/38552656/mike-tyson-will-train-chris-brown-in-his-fight-against-rapper-soulja-boy?intc_type=promo&intc_location=sport&intc_campaign=tysontrainingbrown&intc_linkname=newsbeat_ent_article1Sure is. Can't decide who I want to lose more.

Like Chris Brown's cool for what he is and Soulja Boy is a complete and utter [albeit rich] loser, but Soulja Boy cracks me up. Him
Popping up doing his own version of the #SouljaBoyChallenge was hilarious and all the other videos he makes (and the inevitable memes that come thereafter) always crack me up so I think I'll be rooting for him.

[Offshore Toon]

Mayweather is supposedly training Soulja Boy too.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Obligatory, Chris Brown had plenty of practice by beating up Rihanna.

[Raoul Duke]

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/jan/10/snow-monkey-attempts-sex-with-deer-in-rare-example-of-interspecies-mating

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/1ab8f0de33d2eefca7f5982a6180ebb8477dec2f/19_38_1000_600/master/1000.jpg?w=620&q=20&auto=format&usm=12&fit=max&dpr=2&

[John]

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/local-news/stacey-bunyan-drunk-walked-wrong-9633578

Was in my year at school, and was always an absolute headbanger.

[phonics]

She looks like they've put her photo through some app that makes you look like The Screamer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

She's small fry for Glasgow. There are worse horrors out there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Her face is going to haunt me.

Her eyes and lips :sick:

[Adamski]

She does look a bit Ukrainian to be fair, so I don't blame you.

[Shindig]

Still would.

[Giggles]

Have these not been a thing for at least 15 years?

http://www.theladbible.com/now/interesting-curly-fries-are-soon-going-to-be-available-at-some-mcdonalds-20170129

[Disco]

I suppose it's news if you're the kind of cretin who goes to McDonald's (by choice).

[Giggles]

I've only bought coffee in it in the last couple of years as it's decent and a euro cheaper than Starbucks or Costa, but I must grab a few chicken selects soon if they still do them. Only worthwhile thing on the menu.

[niko_cee]

The breakfasts are top notch, for what they are/what they cost.

[SvN]

I saw Wetherspoons advertising a full english, toast, and tea/coffee for £3 the other day. How is that possible?

[phonics]

When the BBC did that documentary on pub food round the country, weren't Wetherspoons the only company that refused to answer what the ingredients in their food/ where they were sourcing it from was?

[Giggles]

I always wondered that too. Their food is absolute dirt but even still. They must be hoping you'll have 3 or 4 pints while you're there.

[niko_cee]

Ikea do it even cheaper, although they openly admit to it being a loss leader.

[SvN]

Whetherspoons is fine if you're after dirty pub food. It's great if you're hungover.

[Spikey M]

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=/amp/www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/football-manager-2017-season-simulation-12542796.amp&ved=0ahUKEwi7kLjT-vDRAhWmCcAKHTWrBVAQiJQBCK4BMB4&usg=AFQjCNFdOW_EkM6d5sN4hJV2TYVZQhQdhQ&sig2=a58qA52pwsdB3EWZIE5Wlg

[John]

Francis Jeffers. :sick:

Remember about ten years ago if you told someone a player or side was great and admitted you knew it because they were good on Champ you'd be laughed out of any room? We were all fucking visionaries.

[Spikey M]

Who is Arsenals best flop? Francis 'England next top striker' Jeffers or David 'Beckham' Bentley?

[John]

Bentley was an academy kid who came fairly good elsewhere, they paid about ten million for Jeffers at a time when that still bought you something and he was complete turd.

My favourite is Junichi Inamoto, because he's the first obvious 'marketing' signing I can think of coming from Asia and because he was shit hot for my Crystal Palace side in 01/02.

[Lewis]

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2780648/david-beckham-emails-unicef-charity-knighthood/

Someone check on Boom.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:harold:

[Jimmy Floyd]

That is all pretty hilarious. Just be patient, David, you're like 40.

[igor_balis]

That's brilliant.

[Lewis]

The 'Class of 92' are going down like flies. Ryan Giggs gets outed as a lowlife; Gary Neville is exposed as a FRAUD (taking Phil 'Fizzer' Neville down with him); Paul Scholes collaborates with BT and becomes a rent-a-quote; and now this.

Nicky Butt emerges triumphant. :drool:

[Raoul Duke]

That's Sir Nicky to you, oik

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pretty much everything from between 1997 and 2007 is going down the toilet in all walks of life. If I were Robbie Williams I'd be making a dash for it.

[Boydy]

Give it a rest about 1997 ffs.

[Lewis]

Year Zero.

[Magic]

That's nice to see he's a proper seedy cunt and the evidence is there to support it rather than just referring to scum and loos gate. Horrible shit.

[Offshore Toon]

That small squeaky voice fooled us all.

[Spikey M]

That's a quality meltdown.

Can we rename Bruhnaldo 'David Bruhkham'?

[Boydy]

http://m.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/environment/geese-under-loyalist-paramilitaries-wing-make-belfast-shankill-estate-home-35439757.html

[Giggles]

I didn't have GS down as an animal lover.

[Lewis]

What's good for the goose is good for the Red Hander.

[Disco]

Joke's on them, they would make an awful christmas dinner.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Typical migrants, taking our bread and closing off their community.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38948274

The United States Tennis Association has apologised after a version of the German national anthem associated with the Nazi era was accidentally sung at a tournament in Hawaii.

The obsolete first verse, including the words "Germany, Germany above all else" was sung by a soloist at the Fed Cup.

lol.

[Spikey M]

In fairness, both the murderous countries had ace national anthems back then. Russia and Germanys have watered down cuck-fest anthems now.

[Shindig]

In Russia's case, the entire choir paid to sing it drowned last year.

[Shindig]

More like ... JewDieDie ... (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-38965377)


In one of the controversial videos, Mr Kjellberg paid two Indians through a crowd-sourcing website to hold up a sign which read "Death to all Jews".
In a response to the criticism, he said he was "trying to show how crazy the modern world is, specifically some of the services available online" and that people "would say anything for five dollars".

Sure ... oh, wait...


In other videos he also showed swastikas drawn by a fan, played the Nazi Party anthem and did a brief Hitler salute - all of which he says was done as a joke.

Top form.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He's such a cunt, I have no idea how he is so liked.

Same can be said about KSI.

[phonics]

Remember that story around New Years that had Refugees wandering the streets of Frankfurt raping every woman in their wake?

Harold said it was under-reported and showed the bias media has?

https://politicalscrapbook.net/2017/02/uk-tabloid-reports-of-sexual-assault-by-refugees-in-frankfurt-were-completely-made-up/

Yeah, it never happened, one of the people who was interviewed as a witness wasn't even in the country at the time.

[John Arne]

So, apparently Kim Jong-nam (brother of DPRK leader, Jong-un) was murdered by 2 Vietnamese women at a Malaysian airport.

Straight from a James Bond film, this.

[John]

He's the one who was exiled for sneaking out to go to Disneyland, right?

[John Arne]

That's the one. Lives between Macau and Singapore, apparently.

1 of the women has been arrested today.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I heard some of my colleagues talking about this in Korean earlier, from which I gathered that there is no Korean word for 'poisonous spray'.

[John Arne]

The Vietnamese press (at least the one paper talking about this) are saying that 4 DPRK officials met the Viet girls in a bar and paid them to poison him. Complete conjecture, of course.

[SvN]

http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-38982373

Fucking hell. Really?

[SvN]

And apparently their apology isn't good enough, either

https://twitter.com/Dungeon_London/status/831855686980161536

[Disco]

Why does no-one ever just say no, stop being so precious and take it in the spirit it was intended? You;d probably end up with even more coverage that way too.

[Raoul Duke]

I want to get one of these LOL t-shirts. They look great

[Spikey M]

Anyone actually offended by those tweets is a cunt. Anyone pretending to be (most of them) needs to off themselves.

[Shindig]

He's such a cunt, I have no idea how he is so liked.

Same can be said about KSI.

Yup. The whole youtube space is fascinating with some genuine dicks clinging to a living off it. And then there's nightmare scenarios like Chris Chan and all of that. The internet is the best and worst thing to ever happen to society.

[Boydy]

North Korea Assassination Suspect Thought She Was Participating in a TV Prank (http://time.com/4675054/north-korea-assassination-suspect-prank/?xid=time_socialflow_facebook)

That's fucking clever if true.

They should introduce it into the next Hitman game.

[Spikey M]

That's genius.

[Magic]

https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/fp/rebeka-22-represent-dundee-finals-miss-scotland-galaxy/

:D

Oh my God?

[Adamski]

That first picture is a shocker but she looks OK in the one further down.

[Magic]

Her Facebook reveals more atrocious pictures. She is everything that is wrong with the modern woman's image.

[Dquincy]

Many local beauty pagents are often won by women who look a bit suspect. The reason being that any lady with an ounce of class would not enter such a thing.

I wouldn't say she represents "modern women's image" though.

[Pepe]

Genuinely made me gag. Wtf.

[Offshore Toon]

A lot of girls do their make up in a way that makes them look better in photos without as much care for what they look like in person. Slapping it on means you don't get the shiny head look. I find make up to be a big turn off and can't understand who would ever kiss the monster in that article.

[Kikó]

Pretty awful. Lay off the makeup.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-39063733

Lewis's hell.

[Lewis]

At least they're making the most of it.

[Giggles]

Again, fuck off world.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/39051079/backlash-after-primark-pulls-fantastically-offensive-walking-dead-t-shirt

[Lewis]

I like how 'racist origin' is enough, even though (you would have thought) nobody uses that version now. It's a bit like not drinking tea because of how the East India Company went about its business.

[SvN]

I saw that yesterday. It's up there with the worst of the fake outrage incidents there's been over the past few years.


This image relates directly to the practice of assaulting black people in America.

Jesus fucking Christ, shut up shop, we're done.

[Giggles]

Fucking. Hell.



A UK university has been accused of censoring free speech for banning phrases such as “right-hand man” and “gentleman’s agreement” in favour of more inclusive, gender neutral language.

Cardiff Metropolitan University’s revised code of practice states more appropriate terms should be used where possible, adding that students should not allow their “cultural background” to affect their choice of words on campus.

“Forefathers”, “mankind” and “sportsmanship” are also on the list of 34 words and phrases to be avoided as part of efforts to “embrace cultural diversity” by the university.


http://www.independent.co.uk/student/news/university-cardiff-metropolitan-bans-phrases-mankind-gentlemans-agreement-gender-neutral-terms-free-a7609521.html

Where does this shit stop?

[phonics]

Last time Spikey posted something like that, it turned out to be total bollocks. I'd calm down.

[Giggles]

It's total bollocks alright but I doubt there's anything false about it. This brand of fuckwittery is rampant nowadays.

[phonics]

Or it's just reported on more. Did you know what was in the Cardiff Metropolitan Universities code of standards and practices when you were growing up? Why would you care now?

It's a bunch of Student Union ponces who nobody listened to before and nobody listens to now. Who cares?

It's just a big fucking circle wank 'Your language offends me' 'You taking offense offends me'. Just fuck the lot of them off on both sides.

[Giggles]

Or it's just reported on more. Did you know what was in the Cardiff Metropolitan Universities code of standards and practices when you were growing up? Why would you care now?

It's a bunch of Student Union ponces who nobody listened to before and nobody listens to now. Who cares?

It's just a big fucking circle wank 'Your language offends me' 'You taking offense offends me'. Just fuck the lot of them off on both sides.

Because the more it happens then it has more chance of spilling over into my world.

[Disco]

He's right, it's always gone on. And I don't mean in general I mean specifically in Cardiff, I remember someone wanted to abolish separate sex toilets in all University buildings when I was there and that would have been more than 15 years ago. Yoghurt knitters have always wasted their time on idiotic rubbish, you just have exponentially more exposure for it these days.

[Raoul Duke]

Can you please stop referring to things as 'total bollocks' as this is gender-bias and offensive to those on a diverse cultural spectrum.

Please substitute with more appropriate terms such as 'total piffle', 'complete tripe' or just plain old 'tomfoolery'. Thanks

[Disco]

tomfoolery

Sexist pig.

[Spikey M]

TOMfoolery? Cis scum.

[Raoul Duke]

Shut up, you cunts