News of the day

[Magic]

You need to get on Reddit more, mate.

[Pepe]

Another reason why universities in this country should ignore student activists.

Now, now, lets not get carried away.

[Boydy]

I meant universities outside of London. Can't even remember hearing of the term 'safe space' until a lot of this flared up in the past year or so.

Likewise 'non-binary'and other such nonsense.

You know Oxford isn't in London, right?

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

As in there or thereabouts. Goldsmiths had its share of nonsense last year too.

Just can't recall ever hearing of this sort of thing in Manchester or Glasgow say.

[Lewis]

A privileged international postgraduate student made a minimum wage worker cry.

What a dickhead.

Wow. Racist.

[niko_cee]

The waitress was probably just ducking out to get her safari gear on.

[Boydy]

An 'angel' locals believed fell from the sky turns out to be a sex toy (http://www.rappler.com/world/regions/asia-pacific/indonesia/bahasa/englishedition/131340-sex-toy-inflatable-angel)

:D

[Magic]

Lol at them also banning gay emojis.

[Disco]

...a way to care for it as it slowly deflated.

Bleak.

[Giggles]

He really needs to give up Twitter.

http://www.joe.ie/news/outrage-as-gerry-adams-tweets-racial-slur/542785

[John Arne]

Following demonstrations over the weekend against Formosa steel company polluting Vietnamese waters - the government have now blocked all SMS's containing the words 'formosa', 'dead fish', 'ha Tien' (the place where it happened) and also Google seems to be omitting some search results.
The 1980's called....

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-36226141

Asia is amazing.

[Giggles]

Twats.

http://www.joe.ie/life-style/democracy-collapses-as-boaty-mcboatface-wont-be-called-boaty-mcboatface/543441

[niko_cee]

Never fear!


While the polar ship itself will not be named Boaty McBoatface, one of its remotely operated sub-sea vehicles will be named Boaty in recognition of the vote.

[Baz]

The guy who first suggested Boaty McBoatface is a friend of someone I work with. :cab:

He's called James Hand but everyone calls him Bond, apparently. My colleagues wedding invite to him was addressed to Bondy McBondface. #bantz

[Pepe]

It was a pretty shit name. Can't believe that's the most 'lulzy' name they could come up with.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It was a pretty shit name. Can't believe that's the most 'lulzy' name they could come up with.

I remember reading better names at the time but they just didn't take off.

[Lewis]

It was stupid. Idiots ruining something serious because they don't have anything worth living for.

[Boydy]

It was fun, you bunch of gimps.

[Magic]

I bet you voted, didn't you?

[Lewis]

Remember years ago when cynical people like us drove the backlash against all things 'random'? Well that was pure randomness.

[Pepe]

It was fun, you bunch of gimps.

I'm not so much against choosing a lulzy name. but that one was dogshit.

[Shindig]

I want to see a proper ship launch before I pop off this mortal coil.

[Magic]

Did anyone else see Michelle Mone picking up that lad who she thought was a kid that gave her flowers but it was actually a 46 year old midget bloke that was married with kids?

:D

[John]

That's definitely a plot on 30 Rock.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Did anyone else see Michelle Mone picking up that lad who she thought was a kid that gave her flowers but it was actually a 46 year old midget bloke that was married with kids?

:D
http://i.imgur.com/ZSWO58i.png

Stunning.

[John]

http://www.latimes.com/books/jacketcopy/la-jc-harry-potter-brain-damage-20160509-snap-story.html

What a fucking twonk.

[Disco]

Yeah kids, stop reading, it's bad for your brain.

[Boydy]

Given the number of adults who turn into fuckwits around anything Harry Potter related, he might have a point.

[GS]

Yeah, how dare people enjoy something.

[Boydy]

Didn't have you down as a Potter gimp.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Potter gimps are the best gimps out there.

[GS]

I've never read them. You're just being fucking miserable.

[Lewis]

My lesbo aunty is right into Harry Potter, and I once spied her collection taking pride of place on the bookshelf next to some ultimate strap-on guide.

[Spoonsky]

All of my friends who love Harry Potter are pretty smart. It always seems incongruous to me (I enjoyed the books but couldn't name a spell now), but I guess it's just nostalgic affection from those who still love to read. Also J.K. Rowling is a genius for nailing the mythology like she did.

Ironic that he would cite Dickens. I wonder if he's read Hard Times.

[SincereTheRebel]

This slob george zimmerman is auctioning the pistol he used to cowardly shoot and kill trayvon martin when he was losing a fight. He claims it is your chance to own ‘piece of American history’

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/may/12/george-zimmerman-trayvon-martin-gun-auction

[phonics]

I saw that. The bloke is clearly mentally deranged and definitely murdered that kid.

[Lewis]

It's his property. You're better off worrying about whoever buys it.

[SincereTheRebel]

It's his property. You're better off worrying about whoever buys it.

Never even though of it like that :sherlock:

Profiting from a loss.

[Giggles]

What the fucking fuck? Have I slept right through to April 1st or something?


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/05/10/eu-to-launch-kettle-and-toaster-crackdown-after-brexit-vote2/

[Shindig]

I didn't know Telegraph did clickbait.

[Boydy]

David Coburn, a Ukip MEP, earlier this year blamed the EU after finding it took his toaster four attempts to brown the bread sufficiently to spread marmalade, and the minutes show how politically fraught the issue has become.

:D

[Gray Fox]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-36285950

Pupils at a school in Dundee have been made to sign a 'no fouls' contract if they want to play football during break times.


It came in response to "issues" during football games which have been "carried into" teaching time.
Clauses include promising not to foul tackle other players, not to gloat, and promising to keep up school work

[John Arne]

Following demonstrations over the weekend against Formosa steel company polluting Vietnamese waters - the government have now blocked all SMS's containing the words 'formosa', 'dead fish', 'ha Tien' (the place where it happened) and also Google seems to be omitting some search results.
The 1980's called....

Big day tomorrow. Another protest planned - and they have decided to march through the tourist area to try to garner some extra news coverage. This is turning quite quickly into an anti-government protest, rather than an anti-dead fish protest. About 4 bus loads of protesters were taken away last weekend, with about 4 or 5 of them beaten up.

Facebook appears to have been blocked completely since this morning.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ch6oeOwUUAgj-i8.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CiQ7Cz2U4AELw6C.jpg

[Magic]

Horrible country. Shame the Yanks didn't drop a couple of Hydrogen bombs on it.

[John Arne]

Horrible country. Shame the Yanks didn't drop a couple of Hydrogen bombs on it.

Wait? Don't you live in Scotland?

[John Arne]

This is excellent. The government have told all universities to hold classes all day tomorrow. Any student who doesn't attend will fail the semester. Quality.

[Magic]

This is excellent. The government have told all universities to hold classes all day tomorrow. Any student who doesn't attend will fail the semester. Quality.

:D

Fair enough, that is amazing. We should do that more over here.

[John Arne]

I've just been detained by Viet police due to taking photos of folk being smacked and thrown into busses. 30 minute interrogation. I have to report to immigration on Monday morning.

Well, it was nice whilst I was here.

[Spoonsky]

Oh shit. :D / :uhoh:

Post the photos?

[Giggles]

Pretty crazy thing to do really given what's been going on.

[Raoul Duke]

Can't you just chuck them a tenner and make it go away?

[Magic]

I'd quite happily see John_Arne live executed, he's a member we could do without.

[randomlegend]

http://thetab.com/uk/norwich/2016/05/17/uea-responds-ban-hat-throwing-graduation-23146

:lol:

[Spoonsky]

http://www.newstimes.com/local/article/Woman-mistaken-for-transgender-harassed-in-7471666.php

Fuck me.

:rosebud:

[Lewis]

That probably never happened.

[Danny]

Just like that pastor with the cake who was suing Whole Foods

[Spoonsky]

She looks and acts like the next Pixar protagonist.

[Magic]

I'd quite happily see John_Arne live executed, he's a member we could do without.

Well it was his interrogation yesterday and he hasn't posted since so...RIP I guess.

[Giggles]

On the plane home? Either that or he's having to re-learn typing with no fingers.

[Davgooner]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/2016/05/17/students-left-fuming-over-gcse-biology-exam-that-contained-quest/

The first question, about the benefit of independent companies, was a bit obscure, but in general I'm sick to death of the social media whingers after every fucking GCSE exam. Get on with it you twats.

[SvN]

I, personally, was offended by the question, asking to compare the favourite type of alcoholic beverage, of two genders

Get fucked you little twat.

[Pepe]

So what was the question?

[John]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3598391/Oxford-student-demanded-removal-Rhodes-statues-insists-no-regrets-making-waitress-cry-disrupting-whiteness.html

'Disrupting whiteness'. Boot the cunt out of the country immediately.

That article includes the revelation that the wanker who was trying to get rid of a Cecil Rhodes statue because having to walk past it as a black man 'constituted violence' was only at Oxford in the first place because he was a recipient of the fucking Rhodes Scholarship. Hopefully one of those Britain First wankers murders him as a campaign strategy.

[Magic]

He was having lunch with a what?!

[Boydy]

He must be some sort of double agent paid to make racial equality/liberation campaigners across the world look ridiculous. Surely. He's such a bellend.

[Lewis]

His old man was calling him a twat the other day in a really lol 'I am disappoint' way.

[Giggles]

Thought it was a bit steep at first for just squaring up to a Derby player but when you read his previous he really should have his face caved in.


http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/Lifetime-ban-Hull-City-fan-Adam-Pardoe-Derby/story-29294778-detail/story.html

[Pepe]

The reaction is even worse.


Following the incident hundreds of well-wishers donated money to Ms Schultz to cover the tip Mr Qwabe refused to pay because she was white.


Miss Schultz’s friends said earlier this month that she had already been feeling low as her mother has cancer.
One said: ‘She has a very sick mother she cares for, and had to move flat recently and is worried about all of this. She did burst into tears because she is having a tough time at present

:harold:

[John]

No it isn't.

[Magic]

The reaction is even worse.





:harold:

Wouldn't expect someone like you to understand.

[Magic]

Thought it was a bit steep at first for just squaring up to a Derby player but when you read his previous he really should have his face caved in.


http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/Lifetime-ban-Hull-City-fan-Adam-Pardoe-Derby/story-29294778-detail/story.html

Yeah he sounds like an absolute cunt.

Also can't think of anything grimmer than the Hull Daily Mail.

[GS]

That Rhodes guy is a proper wanker. He's not an EU citizen either, so presumably we can revoke his visa and throw him out.

Sovereignty. :cool:

[Boydy]

That'd only give him more stuff to (rightly in this case) rant about.

Just let him keep making a tit of himself.

[Magic]

Just found out the two queers we bullied in high school for being gay turned out to be actually gay. Not with each other, though I suspect that was the initial path they went down. Good stuff.

[GS]

That'd only give him more stuff to (rightly in this case) rant about.

Just let him keep making a tit of himself.

Rightly?

[Pepe]

Revoking his visa for saying stuff you don't like.

[Pepe]

No it isn't.

Donating money to the woman, as if she was some sort of victim? Fucking lol at that, I am sure it's not the first time a customer is an arse to her.

[GS]

Revoking his visa for saying stuff you don't like.

He'd be on a student visa, so if the university threw him off the scholarship then his visa would be redundant irregardless.

You could instead support someone on this scholarship who isn't what would appear to be a publicly-declared and open racist.

[Pepe]

So they would be throwing him off because they don't like what he says? I thought you conservatives were all about the free speech?

[GS]

I think you're misunderstanding the point.

[Pepe]

The point was that if he was kicked out of the country/university, he would 'rightly rant about it.'

[GS]

He's on a scholarship programme, which his actions would appear to be in breach of. If he was thrown out, which would be quite right if he's agreed to abide by certain behavioural standards and hasn't, then that would be tough shit.

[Pepe]

What are those standards he has breached?

[GS]

What are those standards he has breached?

The Rhodes scholarship (http://www.rhodeshouse.ox.ac.uk/apply), which he is on, specifically cites:

- literary and scholastic attainments
- energy to use one's talents to the full
- truth, courage, devotion to duty, sympathy for and protection of the weak, kindliness, unselfishness and fellowship
- moral force of character and instincts to lead, and to take an interest in one's fellow beings.

Three and four would appear to be the relevant standards.

[Lewis]

This is all because the college acted like such fannies over the statue and gave it a load of publicity. They should have just told them to get fucked, since it appears to have died down since they caved in over a potential loss of donations.

[GS]

This is all because the college acted like such fannies over the statue and gave it a load of publicity. They should have just told them to get fucked, since it appears to have died down since they caved in over a potential loss of donations.

I don't understand why these institutions pander to the students. They appear to live in some sort of bubble where being perpetually outraged is PRINCIPLED and IMPORTANT. There was a lad running for Stormont here whose credentials were apparently bolstered by participating in a sit-in in the student union.

You'd think they should be too busy actually, you know, studying to get involved in this sort of shite.

[Pepe]

The Rhodes scholarship (http://www.rhodeshouse.ox.ac.uk/apply), which he is on, specifically cites:

- literary and scholastic attainments
- energy to use one's talents to the full
- truth, courage, devotion to duty, sympathy for and protection of the weak, kindliness, unselfishness and fellowship
- moral force of character and instincts to lead, and to take an interest in one's fellow beings.

Three and four would appear to be the relevant standards.

Not having it. :evictory:


This is all because the college acted like such fannies over the statue and gave it a load of publicity. They should have just told them to get fucked, since it appears to have died down since they caved in over a potential loss of donations.

The whole thing was pretty lol. I agree they should have just told them to fuck off. They did that in the end (turns out money is boss) and it worked, so they should have just started there. Just like Harvard telling the 'divest in fossil fuels' crew to fuck off right away.

[Pepe]

I don't understand why these institutions pander to the students. They appear to live in some sort of bubble where being perpetually outraged is PRINCIPLED and IMPORTANT. There was a lad running for Stormont here whose credentials were apparently bolstered by participating in a sit-in in the student union.

You'd think they should be too busy actually, you know, studying to get involved in this sort of shite.

Mostly they're trying (and failing miserably) to avoid bad publicity. It is all about THE BRAND these days, things such as principles matter none.

[GS]

Not having it. :evictory:

Well, it's there in black and white so you can't argue the point. He's clearly a Grade A hypocrite and a massive twat, so if you're going to invest the money in someone it would be far better going to someone who isn't a Grade A hypocrite and a massive twat.

[Boydy]

Those things you listed were selection criteria. They're not going to kick you off the course if you've met them in your application but are a bit of a gobby twat spouting shite when you're there.

[Lewis]

It's like Floyd's rules of refereeing, which should just go for anybody doing any kind of officiating over anything. They will always take the most cowardly decision, but they do so with the short-term in mind, hoping that it will just go away; but eventually financial considerations become a factor, and their reasonable concessions to those are now framed by their earlier cowardice as being pathetic.

[GS]

Those things you listed were selection criteria. They're not going to kick you off the course if you've met them in your application but are a bit of a gobby twat spouting shite when you're there.

Selection criteria which, one assumes, you're expected to at least show some deference to whilst you're there.

They probably won't kick him off, given they are absent bollocks, but you shouldn't really be apologising for the sort of shite he was spouting.

[Magic]

He's black, of course they won't kick him off.

#blackprivelidge

[Boydy]

Selection criteria which, one assumes, you're expected to at least show some deference to whilst you're there.

They probably won't kick him off, given they are absent bollocks, but you shouldn't really be apologising for the sort of shite he was spouting.

I wasn't apologising for it. :cab:

I said if he was kicked out of the country, he could rightly complain about that. But he'd just end up with an even bigger platform for his crap then. You're better off just allowing him to continue to make himself look like a fool.

[GS]

I wasn't apologising for it. :cab:

I said if he was kicked out of the country, he could rightly complain about that. But he'd just end up with an even bigger platform for his crap then. You're better off just allowing him to continue to make himself look like a fool.

Fair enough.

Anyway, he wouldn't be kicked out because of it - rather losing his scholarship would lead to the revocation of his student visa and thus his having no right to stay in the country. Not that it matters because, as we've covered, the university have previously demonstrated a point-blank reluctance to actually show some bollocks. Presumably they might consider doing something if donations were adversely affected. Top, top principles.

[Giggles]

http://www.dailyedge.ie/plank-of-wood-in-dunnes-2787553-May2016/


They'll sell like hotcakes too.

[niko_cee]

Those glass vases full of beads are actually decanters.

I'm sure this could have been done with the modern desire for slate tableware as well. £50 for a roof tile?

What is "peak notions"?

[Giggles]

Those glass vases full of beads are actually decanters.

I'm sure this could have been done with the modern desire for slate tableware as well. £50 for a roof tile?

What is "peak notions"?

The Celtic Tiger boom brought about notions where everything and anything was about showing what money you had and what money you could waste. These days are returning, we don't wear having money well.

[Disco]

Wankers will pay over the odds for almost anything, just look at how well John Lewis are doing.

[Boydy]

Is Dunnes up-market down south?

I always thought it was a bit shit.

[Giggles]

Is Dunnes up-market down south?

I always thought it was a bit shit.

Just that range in amongst the shit. Well that's shit too but they've built a brand round it.

[Magic]

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/dundee/179622/dundee-man-imposed-face-child-abuse-images-jailed/

They included horrific bestiality images showing women having sex with dogs, horses and octopi.

:D

Further sickening images showing children being sexually abused were found, including pictures where Boyack had digitally added his face over the top of the men seen in the images.

:D

It's quite incredible, and somehow humorous to think this is what some 70 year old blokes are doing with their spare time.

[SincereTheRebel]

I laughed

https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/woman-trying-prove-vegans-anything-143351368.html

[Disco]

Somewhere, on some other shitty little platform Harold must be absolutely ripping his dick off over this.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-36382596

[Pepe]

'Climbing' mountains sounds extremely shit.

[Spoonsky]

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=15758576

West High represent. :cool:

[P_3]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-36407643

Fuck. I'd proper shit myself. :serious:

[niko_cee]

Jambo.

:cool:

[Lewis]

They should sue that kid's parents for failing to control the little cunt.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Reading a lot of the comments online about this regarding a tranquillizer is odd. Ignoring who's fault it is in the first place, I'm not sure if the general public know how strong apes are, let alone something like a gorilla. You've got a toddler being held by an animal that could literally rip it apart, who's to say how it would immediately react after being hit with a tranquillizer?

[GS]

It's only an animal, for fuck sake.

[Gray Fox]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-36412814

Man wears offensive t-shirt to his local pub about Hillsborough. Someone saw him at the pub and posted the picture on social media.

Since then he was removed from the pub by the landlord and barred. The internet has since gone into overdrive and essentially started a campaign to ruin him.

[Pepe]

We love an outrage nowadays don't we.

[Lewis]

He should funnel the outrage towards a fake Myspace account. We know they'll fall for that.

[niko_cee]

I see there's a justice for that gorilla campaign under way. People really are beyond stupid.

[Boydy]

What sort of justice are they expecting?


I don't get why that zoo had railings a child could fit through though.

[John]

Most seem to want the kid's mum held responsible for the gorilla dying, presumably through contorting some animal cruelty law.

People up here are far too concerned about a horror film being shot 'just a mile away' from where an actual murder took place to get involved in all the other meaningless outrage though.

[Pepe]

The gorilla thing is getting pretty lol on my facebook.

[Disco]

Most seem to want the kid's mum held responsible for the gorilla dying, presumably through contorting some animal cruelty law.

People up here are far too concerned about a horror film being shot 'just a mile away' from where an actual murder took place to get involved in all the other meaningless outrage though.

I suspect, as was the case with the ridiculous outcry about Top Gear driving past the Cenotaph, no-one who is annoyed by it can actually tell you at what distance RESPECT begins to happen.

[Pepe]

HARAMBE IS DEAD

Commentary by Captain Paul Watson

Harambe is dead because an irresponsible and negligent mother allowed her 4-year old son to fall into a Gorilla enclosure.

Think about that for a moment.

This mother allowed her “4-year old ” son to climb over a fence and approach a 15 foot drop onto a concrete floor. Forget about the fact that there was a gorilla down there, what the hell was she doing while her child made his way towards what could be a fatal fall.

She should be charged with criminal negligence and child abuse.

As a parent I find it incomprehensible that another parent would stand there and do nothing but scream. I would have immediately and without hesitation have jumped into that enclosure to protect my child, no matter the risks and It would not have been the gorilla that would worry me but rather the consequence of the 15-foot drop. But again as a parent I can’t even imagine how a 4-year old child was able to wander away . Was she texting someone or chatting on her cell phone?

Now this woman wants us to respect her privacy. She thanked the Lord for delivering her baby back to her. Well woman, it was not the Lord. Harambe was trying to help your child until some idiots with guns decided to settle the issue the way most police and security in America tend to settle an issue – with deadly force.

Harambe is dead, a day after his 17th birthday, because the people who run the Cincinnati Zoo are grossly incompetent. If they had any knowledge and understanding about lowland gorillas they would have quickly observed that Harambe meant no harm to the child and was in fact protecting him.

What we saw was an incredible act of compassion by a gorilla for a human child. An act of kindness and concern that was rewarded with a bullet.

Harambe is dead because of a bunch of ignorant human gawkers kept screaming, thus motivating the horrific response. Where were the keepers? Surely they could see that Harambe was not behaving violently. What kind of ignorant and incompetent cowards do they have working at that damn zoo anyhow?

Harambe is dead because zoos are no place for wild animals to be imprisoned.

Harambe should have been in the lowland jungles of Africa, with his own kind doing what gorillas were born to do and that means being a gorilla, not some character in a freak show so a bunch of gawking ignorant anthropocentric hominids can stare, tease, laugh, and take selfies.

I swear it is incidents like these that make me see how utterly pathetic and clueless human beings can be.

The killing of Harambe was cold-blooded, unprovoked and senseless murder and the fingers of those who pulled the trigger belong to a special kind of stupid.

The zoo feebly tried to defend the shooting in a release where they stated: “The gorilla was violently dragging and throwing the child.”

This was not what eye witnesses saw and the proof that this statement is a lie is the very fact that the child was released from the hospital shortly after, unharmed, and if a 400 pound gorilla was actually being violent there is no way that child would have remained unharmed.

Harambe died because we enslave gorillas and other animals for our entertainment.

Predictably the zoos trotted out their go-to apologist Jack Hanna to proclaim that the zoo did the right thing, that it was a choice between a gorilla and a human being.

No it was not. The kid was not going to be killed by this gorilla. In fact there is no case of a gorilla in captivity ever killing a child and these gorillas are actually approachable in the wild.

But Jack Hanna gets paid to spew such nonsense because if he actually knew anything about gorillas he would have understood what Harambe was trying to do.

And what about the child whose hand Harambe gently held in his own? What kind of trauma will this boy experience from seeing the gentle being who tried to help him gunned down because a few pathetic individuals wanted to pretend Harambe was King Kong and the they were stupidly trying to save Faye Wray.

What brings tears to my eyes, what makes me sick inside is the knowledge that this noble creature was trying to help, that he knew the child was in trouble and his compassion was contemptuously dismissed with bullets.

I am disgusted with the Cincinnati zoo, disgusted with the men who killed Harambe, and disgusted with this pathetic excuse for a mother who is the root cause of this tragedy.

I feel pity for the boy, because for the next 14 years or so he will have to live with this woman and with the knowledge that because she allowed him to fall into that enclosure Harambe, the kindly creature that held his hand, is now dead.

Added comment. Thane Maynard the zoo director said that despite the boy's ability to climb over the barrier, the exhibit is safe. "People can climb over barriers, and that's what happened." Now that is a really asinine comment. If it was safe the boy would not have fallen in. The incident demonstrated that it is not safe. When a 4 year old can get into an enclosure with any animal at a zoo, the security at the zoo is seriously flawed.

Alright Captain. :harold:

[Boydy]

Gorillas' lives matter.

EDIT: Fuck, that sounds horribly racist.

[GS]

It's a fucking animal, for fuck sake.


And what about the child whose hand Harambe gently held in his own? What kind of trauma will this boy experience from seeing the gentle being who tried to help him gunned down because a few pathetic individuals wanted to pretend Harambe was King Kong and the they were stupidly trying to save Faye Wray.

What brings tears to my eyes, what makes me sick inside is the knowledge that this noble creature was trying to help, that he knew the child was in trouble and his compassion was contemptuously dismissed with bullets.

I am disgusted with the Cincinnati zoo, disgusted with the men who killed Harambe, and disgusted with this pathetic excuse for a mother who is the root cause of this tragedy.

I feel pity for the boy, because for the next 14 years or so he will have to live with this woman and with the knowledge that because she allowed him to fall into that enclosure Harambe, the kindly creature that held his hand, is now dead.

Mentalist.

[phonics]

Just going to leave this here and say that people are terrible and must be destroyed.

http://wellroundedny.com/20-under-1-to-watch/

[Boydy]

Fucking hell.

Bring on the giant asteroid/alien invasion/nuclear war that wipes us all out.

[Raoul Duke]

Like an American is not going to fucking shoot something if they're given a chance to

[Magic]

I only saw a gorilla with its young?

[Pepe]

Hahahahahaha.

[Magic]

:(

[Magic]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-36423824

'Deconstructed flat white'

:D

What a set of cunts. I bet Kiko would love that shit.

[SvN]

The number of coffee shops in Melbourne was fucking mental when I went there. My sister works there and said people will travel for 20 minutes to get coffee during the work day.

[Magic]

They hardly have any shit chain ones though. :cool:

[Pepe]

If there are so many why do they have to travel that far?

[SvN]

If there are so many why do they have to travel that far?

Because they have their favourites. Plus their office is in the middle of a business park that's nowhere near a residential area.

[Disco]

I'm sensing a gap in the market there.

[Magic]

They wouldn't use chains, there was a article on it a few months ago on the BBC. It's hugely important to them.

[GS]

The number of coffee shops in Melbourne was fucking mental when I went there. My sister works there and said people will travel for 20 minutes to get coffee during the work day.

People in London do this. Turn up at about ten, go out for coffee, come back, sit down, have a chat. Suddenly it's 11 before they've done anything and they still can't work out why they're not leaving the office until after eight. Idiots.

[randomlegend]

People in London do this. Turn up at about ten, go out for coffee, come back, sit down, have a chat. Suddenly it's 11 before they've done anything and they still can't work out why they're not leaving the office until after eight. Idiots.

There was some research on the radio the other day saying that office workers actually get just as much done if you give them way less hours to do it in. It's not the coffee stopping them leaving before 8.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-36426608

I wonder what the Captain thinks of the poor fox.

[Pepe]

http://media.npr.org/assets/img/2016/06/01/ap_16151645528803-30fd92dff66abe9c5e9151ef543297803782d270-s800-c85.jpg

:*****)

[Baz]

Ever heard of those British Mums "comedy" videos?

I saw one on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MrLewzer/) and thought his accent sounded like he lives near me, so googled him.

This (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/i-changed-gender-become-man-8588683) was the top result. :lol:

Got his accent right though, like a boss.

[Lewis]

Did they want to look like Spikey?

[Shindig]

Hold the fuck on, love/mate. You can't go on about your gender identity, reassign as a man and then spend all of your videos dragging up,

[Yevrah]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-36389581

[Magic]

Shit has been knocking about for ages. Good regurgitation BBC.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Don't know where to put this, but Noel Edmonds has tweeted a picture of a box he has which he claims cures cancer.

[Browning]

No deal.

The guys gone fucking mental looking at some of those tweets.

[Disco]

He was going to buy the BBC not long ago, what happened to that?

[Magic]

Don't know where to put this, but Noel Edmonds has tweeted a picture of a box he has which he claims cures cancer.

I was so hoping it was going to be this:

http://www.travelchoice.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Question_Box.jpg

[Lewis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAo-xyIEEkI

He's been mad for years.

[Lewis]

Wait a minute. Is Donald Trump just a shit Noel Edmonds?

[Max Power]

That Noel's HQ clip is incredible. Noel is mad as hell and he's not gonna take it anymore.

How have I never seen it before? Bring it back Sky.

[SvN]

It's a real shame that "What a wondeful expression" video has disappeared from the internet.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cheggers is the real hero of that video.

[Disco]

He does seem properly unhinged, I wonder how long it will be until this becomes reality...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGtdsXhXiEM

[Disco]

What a golden age the late 90's was, a time when you could get a comment on your news story from Mad Frankie Fraser.

[John]

http://www.eveningtimes.co.uk/news/14540949.Shadowy_apparition_of_a_woman_in_black_is _terrifying_Silverburn_shoppers/

'paranormal experts'. :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/0F64/production/_89904930_capture.jpg

Fucking hell :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Oh and the company themselves are distancing themselves from the crackpot:

EMPpad Omnium1 and EMPpad iMRS use very low intensity and frequency pulsed electromagnetic fields (PEMF) which target the cells within the body and help to improve the way they function. Research has demonstrated that this can lead to widespread health benefits, including supporting an effective immune response and a healthy overall body.

Although research using very low frequency and intensity PEMF to help address cancer has produced some promising early results, it is currently in the very early stages and EMPpad does not make the claim that PEMF therapy can prevent cancer.

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2012/jan/08/electromagnetic-fields-could-stop-cancer?intcmp=239

The opinions of Mr Noel Edmonds are his alone and do not reflect in any way with the opinions of us at EMPpad. We had no discussion, input or prior knowledge of the content of Mr Edmond’s statement and we do not agree with it in any way, shape or form.

[Gray Fox]

Gawker, the site that Hulk Hogan gave the atomic leg drop to, brother, have filed for bankruptcy, brother.

They hope to avoid actually paying Hogan by doing this.

[phonics]

It's amazing how literally everyone involved in that case has come across as morally and ethically reprehensible.

[Lewis]

Hogan. :cool:

[Spoonsky]

http://www.wsj.com/articles/dial-down-the-stress-of-prom-1464800760

My school (and friends) are famous.

[Pepe]

I'll definitely subscribe to read that.

[Magic]

Some slag I went to school with has died in her sleep, seems innocuous enough. Shame she was a whore in school but seemed to get her act together and has a young kid. 27. Ooft.

[Boydy]

How does a 27 year old die in their sleep? :|

[Kikó]

Did she turn you down magic?

[Gray Fox]

Youtube singer who went on The Voice America was performing in Orlando. As she was signing autographs for fans afterwards, a man came up to her who had 2 handguns and a hunting knife on him. Shot and killer her as her brother tackled the man to the ground. In the struggle the man was also shot and killed, believed to have offed himself.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-36507546

[igor_balis]

The bloke who played the gay cop on The Shield got 40 years for killing his wife.

[Davgooner]

https://blogs.microsoft.com/firehose/2016/06/13/microsoft-to-acquire-linkedin/#sm.000dvx8xy1dvxe9jyg61fsl5i1ryk

$26.2 billion for that wank.

[Magic]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-36516006

Justice.

[Pepe]

Lashes. :D

What a fucking shithole.

[John]

http://www.dover-express.co.uk/Django-ndash-popular-dog-town/story-29374857-detail/story.html

I fucking adore local news sites.

[Magic]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-36524755

God it must be really easy to have a successful comedy show in India. :sick:

[Magic]

Presumably this is because their Twitter feeds are mostly full of gang-rape/murder and Bangladeshis burning their children at the stakes for talking to slaves or some shit.

'Can you help me'
'No, too busy m8'
'EPIC RESPONSE LOLOLOL'
'YOU WIN TEH INTERNETZ IN INDIAR'

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't know if I'm less surprised that Samsung are flogging fridges in India, or that one has broken down.

[Magic]

How does a 27 year old die in their sleep? :|

Seems she was still on pretty hard drugs so lol at that.

[Boydy]

They found the body of that little kid that was taken by an alligator.

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/body-found-after-twoyearold-snatched-by-alligator-near-disney-world-a3272986.html


Wildlife officials had earlier caught and killed five alligators from the lagoon to examine them for traces of the boy but found no evidence they were involved.

How long till we get a 'justice for the alligators' petition?

[Spoonsky]

bruhnaldo needs to get the fuck out of Orlando, that place is cursed right now.

[CJay]

Their first course of action was to find and kill 5 alligators in case he was eaten, while he was lying, only six feet underwater, 10 - 15 yards from where he was attacked?

:cab:

Maybe the alligators got the message and put him back there.

[Lewis]

It was worth doing in case they started to think they'd got one up on us.

[Magic]

Reminds me of the snake whacking episode of the Simpsons

[Raoul Duke]

I'm not even sure how you let a toddler have a mooch about near some alligator-infested swamp.

[Disco]

I'm not even sure how you let a toddler have a mooch about near some alligator-infested swamp.

They prefer to call it Florida.

[Danny]

They prefer to call it Florida.

Fortunately in my 10 years here I haven't seen one (in the "wild" that is). I would shit a brick.

[SincereTheRebel]

man on camera having sex with the ROAD

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3646213/Man-caught-camera-having-sex-road-New-Zealand.html#ixzz4Bq28WvrF

[Spoonsky]

http://www.ksl.com/?sid=40254728&nid=148&title=15-year-old-dies-in-cliff-jumping-accident-at-lake-mary

I didn't know her but she went to my school. :\

[Pepe]

What's a 'Sandy girl?'

[Disco]

I assumed that's where she's from.

[Magic]

Sand in her cunt.

[Disco]

Even for you that seems unnecessarily unpleasant.

[Pepe]

I assumed that's where she's from.

I guess that's probably it.


Sand in her cunt.

No, definitely this.

[Magic]

I haven't read the article. The only way it could possibly be unnecessarily unpleasant if it was a pre-teen that's probably been killed and dumped in a lake then her body washed up on the ba...oh.

[Spoonsky]

Sandy is one of the many fine suburbs of Salt Lake City.

[Gray Fox]

There's no Basketball thread, but Cleveland just made history by being the first ever team to come back from 3-1 down and take the remaining 3 games in an NBA final. Also it's their first ever title.

[Waffdon]

King fkn James

[Pepe]

Lol at the BEST TEAM EVAR being just a bunch of bottlers.

[SincereTheRebel]

That one championship in cleveland, is better than the two in miami. That is some achievement for lebron.

[Magic]

Was Mert playing?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Speaking of sporting things that we don't have a thread for:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xh_QMFuAWL4

:cool:

The French lad looks genuinely stunned.

[igor_balis]

That's quality. Played table tennis at Riley's the other day when we got bored of pool. There's not much in the world I'm less capable at.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We used to have a table in our living room (it would fold up when not in use) at our old house.

Despite practising for fucking ages, I was still shit.

[randomlegend]

You can see the exact moment he realises that was a legal shot and he just got styled on in that video. it's great.

[Disco]

Fucking bastard, I think YT may just have spoiled the end of the wrestling with it's suggested videos at the end of that. I might go and smash up one of their takeaways in revenge.

[Shindig]

Why even have the table if you can go under it? Can I win Wimbledon by digging through the earth's core?

[Magic]

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/dundee/211209/special-olympic-gold-medallist-admits-downloading-child-abuse-images/

:harold:

[Disco]

I apologise for making every single one of you (apart from Ital) feel incredibly uncomfortable for a few minutes.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-36601726

[Dquincy]

I'll just put this here, Mert

http://news.sky.com/story/1719371/ex-nfl-player-dies-from-accidental-gunshot

[niko_cee]

Guns don't kill people, duffel bags kill people.

[Bartholomert]

I'll just put this here, Mert

http://news.sky.com/story/1719371/ex-nfl-player-dies-from-accidental-gunshot

People die from accidental overdoses all the time, so what? If you're going to be an idiot it's not the governments job to protect you from yourself.

[SvN]

http://i.imgur.com/5uiWbCf.jpg

Seriously, Facebook?

[Gray Fox]

Apple has filed for and been granted, a patent for technology that will affect your iPhones camera.

It's apparently aimed at concert goers who are more interested in documenting every second of a gig, rather than actually enjoying it. Their camera will either be disabled completely or forced into reduced functionality.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-36672001

[Shindig]

That's kinda cool, as I hate that practice.

[Raoul Duke]

They'll get sued to fuck if they try to make that an actual feature. What next - stop me videoing police?

[Disco]

Surely they've just patented it so nobody else makes it, it would be suicide.

[phonics]

My favourite patent

http://www.abload.de/img/sonycommercialpatent-6yqkz.jpg

[Boydy]

Lewis's response to that last time was great.

[phonics]

You could at least quote it mate. We're not all on Team Spreadsheet.

[Boydy]

I think it was on the old board.

[Boydy]

Oh, it wasn't:


I would chant 'PIZ-ZA HUT' until it gave in and never bothered me again.

:D

[Pepe]

Way to go Enrique.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COUctQWpqBs

[Lewis]

He's lucky that Justin Trudeau didn't bum him.

[Pepe]

He wanted the extra girth.

[John]

Paris has banned all cars made before 1997(alright, Floyd) from its streets. They're doing an amnesty of sorts, so if you hand your old car in they'll give you four hundred quid towards a bicycle. :D

[Lewis]

The surplus of H Vans and 2CVs finding its way onto the market will be like the end of the First World War.

[Raoul Duke]

The Subway guy turned out to be a nonce: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jared_Fogle

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The Subway guy turned out to be a nonce: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jared_Fogle
Old news, I also brought it along with the South Park episode up in the TV thread last week.

[John]

Alright, Harold. Take it down a bit.

[Magic]

Subway. :sick:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

In case anyone missed it, this is what South Park did this in 2002:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p87cBp0oggc

Fucking amazing.

[Dquincy]

Shooting his own son by accident.

http://news.sky.com/story/1721628/dad-accidentally-shoots-son-dead-at-gun-range

[Magic]

Oh my God.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10206660276494845&id=1511072447

:D

[Boydy]

Is her kid disabled?

[randomlegend]

That's Lofty's mum with his castoffs, that's why she looks so disgusted.

[John]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3676849/Residents-baffled-coachloads-Chinese-tourists-descend-unremarkable-Oxfordshire-village-ask-selfies-told-used-HARRY-POTTER-films-rogue-tour-operator.html


Residents in an 'unremarkable' English village have been left scratching their heads following an influx of 'sight-seeing' Asian tourists arriving by the coachload - for absolutely no apparent reason.

Stunned locals say hoards of Chinese and Japanese holidaymakers began arriving in Kidlington, Oxfordshire, on tour buses three weeks ago.

The camera-toting tourists have been wandering around the rural village in groups of up to 40 at a time taking photos of houses and gardens.

They even knocked on doors along residential Benmead Road and The Moors Road to ask for pictures of locals - before taking selfies with them.

Some claim the tourists have been falsely told by rogue tour operators the village is the setting for Inspector Morse, Midsomer Murders or even Harry Potter.

:D

[Gray Fox]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-36412814

Man wears offensive t-shirt to his local pub about Hillsborough. Someone saw him at the pub and posted the picture on social media.

Since then he was removed from the pub by the landlord and barred. The internet has since gone into overdrive and essentially started a campaign to ruin him.

He's been fined £600 and reckons his life is in ruins.

http://www.itv.com/news/2016-07-08/man-admits-shame-over-t-shirt-mocking-hillsbough-dead-as-he-is-fined-600/

[GS]

Professional mass outrage. If you ask Floyd, he'll tell you it started in 1997.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/1423158/paul-gascoigne-new-low-as-he-exposes-himself-in-the-street-on-the-hunt-for-more-booze/

Jesus, he must be missing Moat.

[Magic]

He looks like he's dying. Sad thing is the cunt that took the photo probably stalked him outside his home and followed him in the hope of a desperate shot like that. Horrible bastards.

[Shindig]

Its shite to see him like that. He needs DDP or someone to sort him out.

[Giggles]

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-36771384

Lol.

[Disco]

It's a good job you aren't a pirate.

[Giggles]

Okay?

[Disco]

Well there'd be fuck all room for a parrot on you shoulder.

[Giggles]

Well there'd be fuck all room for a parrot on you shoulder.

Contenders for a Darwin always get a lol.

[Giggles]

That was needlessly cryptic though.

[GS]

I can hear the bands in the distance. It's great.

[Boydy]

You're not out watching them or marching with them?

[Disco]

That was needlessly cryptic though.

It was exactly cryptic enough.

[Raoul Duke]

There are some shenanigans going on not too far from my window. There's a fire engine or two I can see, and I could smell burning a little while ago :uhoh: