U.S. Presidential Election 2016 (Sponsored by Betty Croker's Hamburger Helper)

[Yevrah]

I love how disaffection is being cited as the key reason here. Couldn't possibly be that Hilary is just a bit shit. Surely Obama wouldn't have presided over this shambles had he been allowed to run for a third term?

[ItalAussie]

Michigan back to blue, but the damage could be already done in Wisconsin.

[Gray Fox]

Can I get in before they didn't vote for her because sexism or racism of some sort? Or have we done this already yet?

[ItalAussie]

I love how disaffection is being cited as the key reason here. Couldn't possibly be that Hilary is just a bit shit. Surely Obama wouldn't have presided over this shambles had he been allowed to run for a third term?

Hard to tell. Trump walloped his primary opponents as well, though. It could be that they're all a waste of space, but that is unlikely to be enough to draw out the high rural turnouts we've seen. When you consider that the midwest has suffered more than probably any other part of the country at the hands of free trade market forces, it's the obvious conclusion there, at least.

[elth]

I love how disaffection is being cited as the key reason here. Couldn't possibly be that Hilary is just a bit shit. Surely Obama wouldn't have presided over this shambles had he been allowed to run for a third term?

Well it's both, isn't it? An average Republican would have wiped Clinton off the map and an average Democrat would have wiped Trump off the map, let alone sometime people actually quite like, like Obama.

Karl Rove said both parties nominated the only candidate the other party could beat, and he's probably right.

[Lewis]

I love how disaffection is being cited as the key reason here. Couldn't possibly be that Hilary is just a bit shit. Surely Obama wouldn't have presided over this shambles had he been allowed to run for a third term?

I like it when 'anti-politics' is seen as existing in some sort of vacuum where nobody could possibly have good reasons to think everybody running the show is a dickhead.

[ItalAussie]

Can I get in before they didn't vote for her because sexism or racism of some sort? Or have we done this already yet?

Very little of that so far, to be honest. I think she was treated a bit differently in the lead-in because she's a woman, but I don't really see it as a factor in the voting tallies themselves.

Fuzzy memories of this election may screw over female candidates for a while though - even good ones.

[ItalAussie]

I realise I'm harping on about a minor point here, but how have they only counted 65% of New Hampshire?

[Yevrah]

I like it when 'anti-politics' is seen as existing in some sort of vacuum where nobody could possibly have good reasons to think everybody running the show is a dickhead.

Yep, probably never better demonstrated by the seethe at Ed not getting in, despite the fact that he couldn't even eat a sandwich without looking like a pervert and was happy to stand in front of that obelisk.

[Yevrah]

I realise I'm harping on about a minor point here, but how have they only counted 65% of New Hampshire?

:D

I lol'd.

[ItalAussie]

There's like seven people and the state could fit on a postage stamp. :moop:

Get them all in a room and make them do a show of hands. God.

[Boydy]

sentient cheeto

:D

[Boydy]

Yep, probably never better demonstrated by the seethe at Ed not getting in, despite the fact that he couldn't even eat a sandwich without looking like a pervert and was happy to stand in front of that obelisk.

That doesn't really fit with the 'anti-politics' theme though, since they kept the sitting prime minister in.

[ItalAussie]

That doesn't really fit with the 'anti-politics' theme though, since they kept the sitting prime minister in.

Yeah. Ed just sucked, but the Tories are the establishmentest establishment ever.

[Yevrah]

That doesn't really fit with the 'anti-politics' theme though, since they kept the sitting prime minister in.

Fair point.

[Lewis]

Yep, probably never better demonstrated by the seethe at Ed not getting in, despite the fact that he couldn't even eat a sandwich without looking like a pervert and was happy to stand in front of that obelisk.

Then you can have your 'conversation with the voters', and your 'full and frank debate', before cracking on as normal. I suppose if you had any self-awareness you would struggle to function in bullshit world. That might explain it.

[elth]

Arizona is Clinton's last hope.

An electoral college tie is probably more likely at this point.

[Yevrah]

The Facebook is rumbling:

Tell me this is a joke....I am feeling sick.

I thought Brexit was a disaster - but this...

Brexit is NOTHING compared...

What's happening to the world?

I'm not sure I'm going to be able to bite my tongue this time.

[Gray Fox]

The shots of them crying. This brings back good memories.

[ItalAussie]

Arizona is Clinton's last hope.

An electoral college tie is probably more likely at this point.

I think that happens if the Democrats lose Wisconsin, win Nevada, win a special district in Nebraska, and lose one in Maine.

Quite possible (although you wouldn't bet on it). That'd be one for the books.

[Boydy]

The Facebook is rumbling:

Tell me this is a joke....I am feeling sick.

I thought Brexit was a disaster - but this...

Brexit is NOTHING compared...

What's happening to the world?

I'm not sure I'm going to be able to bite my tongue this time.

Get involved. And update us on what happens.

[Boydy]

Oh shit, I just remembered there's ice cream in the freezer.

[Queenslander]

Australian stock market has fallen more than post 9-11

[Lewis]

There is a bird on Sky News whose entire world has ended.

[Queenslander]

His cabinet is going to be amazing!

[Lewis]

She is shitting herself about him abusing executive power. :harold:

[7om]

There is a bird on Sky News whose entire world has ended.

The people who react like that are the ones who make all this worth it.

[Spoonsky]

There is a bird on Sky News whose entire world has ended.

My entire world has ended a bit. I mean, not really, obviously - but I was ten when Obama was elected. I genuinely can't quite comprehend what tomorrow, or the next four years, are going to feel like.

[Queenslander]

You will be fine you big vagina.

[elth]

Not seeing much crying, but the bitter snark on my social media is pretty funny.

[Spoonsky]

You should see my Facebook feed.

[Queenslander]

My facebook feed is warming up.

[Gray Fox]

Spoonsky The Donald will just grab you by the pussy and you'll be fine. You Americans love that shit :D

[Mellberg]

Screenshots.

[Lewis]

My entire world has ended a bit. I mean, not really, obviously - but I was ten when Obama was elected. I genuinely can't quite comprehend what tomorrow, or the next four years, are going to feel like.

http://i66.tinypic.com/vnctnn.jpg

Probably like that.

[Spoonsky]

http://i66.tinypic.com/vnctnn.jpg

Probably like that.

:D

For fuck's sake.

[Bob Sacamano]

https://twitter.com/PhilippeAuclair/status/796178154088001537

:drool:

[Spoonsky]

Liverpool bottling it was the norm though.

[Spammer]

I've just woken up and checked.

Oh my fucking God :D

[Queenslander]

Pauline Hanson has just tweeted to trump telling him her door will always be open.

So beautiful

[elth]

Anyone who thinks the same neo-reactionary forces don't exist in Australia is kidding themselves, tbh. Hanson is just the most obvious current expression of them.

[Queenslander]

Yep. The hobby circles I move in are chock full of Trump supporters.

I also live in Queensland lol

[Gray Fox]

Anyone planning on ordering things from America, today will be a good day to do that :D

[Gray Fox]

Trump leading in Pennsylvania. Could be official soon.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Let's see some screenshots of these social media feeds chaps.

[Spoonsky]

Apples is seething on twitter. No sign of Lachlan_47 yet.

[bruhnaldo]

this is so glorious


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PL_2W-kfats

[ItalAussie]

Anyone who thinks the same neo-reactionary forces don't exist in Australia is kidding themselves, tbh. Hanson is just the most obvious current expression of them.

Absolutely. I was raised around white evangelical Christians from Queensland. I've seen how this happens.

[Spoonsky]

How are you feeling Bruh?

[Queenslander]

Absolutely. I was raised around white evangelical Christians from Queensland. I've seen how this happens.

One of us! One of us!

[John]

Apples is seething on twitter. No sign of Lachlan_47 yet.

Apples wore a Man United top to a wedding. I'd have had him down as a Trump voter if he was American.

[Queenslander]

Having trouble posting photos from my phone :(

[Lewis]

When will this be done? I want to see some speeches.

[Spoonsky]

I'm going to watch a Charlie Chaplin movie with my grandma. Fuck everything, goodnight.

[elth]

"We hate Muslims, we hate blacks, we want our country back" being chanted at a Trump rally allegedly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That tweet is fake.

[John]

"We hate Muslims, we hate blacks, we want our country back" being chanted at a Trump rally allegedly.

That's pure invention from a parody Twitter account.

[elth]

"allegedly"

[Lewis]

Did Boyd get trapped in the freezer?

[Queenslander]

Oh fuck me now 9 have given her bloody air time.

[Lewis]

lol at him getting more Mexican votes than Mitt Romney did.

[bruhnaldo]

How are you feeling Bruh?

Karma is currently trying to wiggle it's way into my life in the form of the flu, but I'm quietly optimistic otherwise.

[Queenslander]

There is a sea of 25-40 year old white men in Trumps room that give off the young Liberals rapist vibe.

[Bob Sacamano]

Jesse Ventura is definitely winning next time

[Lewis]

What's funnier: 'The Donald' winning, or 'Hillary' going down as the person who lost to him? The actual answer is 'mokbull crying', but of the two...

[Byron]

I tell you what, Mert has chalked up the mother of e-victories. The next four years will be interesting to say the least, while I'm not too disappointed that Clinton has lost because this might convince her to give up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

She should have taken the hint after Barack Hussein Obama donned her in the 2008 primaries.

[John Arne]

You'd think it's time for Polling companies to completely overhaul their methods. First Brexit, and now this. Pull your socks up, guys.

[Queenslander]

Donald winning is hilarious because he has a room full of fuckboys chanting retardedly! Hillary losing is shots of a room full of women crying and sobbing.

[Boydy]

Did Boyd get trapped in the freezer?

:D

I feel asleep for a bit. Just woke up again. I don't think any more states have been announced in that time.

[Lewis]

Just to make the SEETHE even better, 'Hillary' could still win the popular vote. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Many are talking about it already as white working class 'voting like a minority group' in response to 'identity politics for everyone but them', and I think there's a lot in that.

[Shindig]

Right, Teresa should be trying to snipe some Asian business off these hopeless yanks. Hilary Clinton's going to go down in history as the woman who couldn't beat a groping, tax-dodging TV host to the polls.

They'll be in Syria within two months. FBI to get sued for influencing an election campaign and the Trump sexual assault suits will ultimately result in nothing.

[elth]

Isn't Trump's whole deal that he's basically going to leave Syria to Assad and Putin, apart from bombing the shit out of ISIS? Sucks to be a Kurd right now.

And Clinton's done, politically. Too old, too compromised.

[Giggles]

My facebook is imploding with crying mongs that this will have absolutely zero effect on :nono:

At least some of you lot are interested in politics as a 'thing'.

[Spikey M]

:lol: get the fuck in.

[elth]

Pennsylvania called, so it's officially over. President Trump.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My facebook is imploding with crying mongs that this will have absolutely zero effect on :nono:

At least some of you lot are interested in politics as a 'thing'.

I know, where are these idiots when other foreign countries elect retards.

Hopefully this will go some way to turning us off our collective America fawning.

[Lewis]

I've only just noticed that the 'Hillary' stage is America-shaped. Imagine having to concede on that, in a great big fucking hangar or whatever it is. Beautiful.

[elth]

Amusingly, all the polls that had Clinton winning are still closer to the final result than that stupid LA Times tracking poll.

[Magic]

:harold:

[Queenslander]

Congratulations Mert! Try and not treat this too much like team sports...

[John Arne]

Finally, the US is going to massively cut spending on the hoax that is Climate Change.

[elth]

So who's putting their life savings on Le Pen winning the next French election?

[leedsrevolution]

Wahay. Not often do I get an e victory. Wish I had put more money on it.

[Spikey M]

I forgot about Mert :drool:

The only downside is that 'Bruhnaldo' (or whoever the fuck he is) retard also getting his way.

[leedsrevolution]

Mert has donned it. It would be the ultimate win if he had taken that bet though.

[Adamski]

Right, when do we think the dollar will tank so I can buy some for my holiday :cool:

[Lewis]

Woah. E-mails man has just told the crowd to go home for the night. Do you have to give a formal concession speech? Because if I was her I would just slunk off (or send some poor bastard to concede on my behalf) and disappear for a few months.

[John Arne]

Podesta has just sent everyone from the Clinton rally home.

[elth]

Dollar might get stronger as everyone dumps all trade currencies.

[Kikó]

Donald :D we really are in a state of fuck the establishment.

[Bernanke]

I passed out around 3, this is the exact feeling I had waking up to Brexit. Just bewilderment. :D

She even lost PA? That's legitimately amazing.

[Byron]

Apparently Clinton is shutting herself in her hotel and refusing to concede until all votes are counted.

It's like Hitler in his bunker.

[Baz]

Whys Mert getting more praise than Klopp gets in L5? What did he say?

[elth]

He's just been a rabid Trump fanboi for 18 months.

[John]

Whys Mert getting more praise than Klopp gets in L5? What did he say?

He's maintained that all the polling was wrong and that Trump would piss it since day one. He had a bit of a wobble earlier, but that aside he's been steadfast and he was right.

[Magic]

So happy the dodgy cunts never won. At least Trump honest.

[John]

He's over the threshold.

[Magic]

The best thing about this is the seethe everywhere. Even better than BREXIT and INDYREF.

[Byron]

Yep, BBC Breaking News.

[Max Power]

Who's gonna be in his cabinet of banter? Vince McMahon?

[Magic]

Who's gonna be in his cabinet of banter? Vince McMahon?

Come on mate this has been good enough. Be realistic.

[Giggles]

Mert was the only one on here that said Trump would win?

[leedsrevolution]

Mert was the only one on here that said Trump would win?

I said he would win. I didn't have anything to go on, I just thought he would.

[Giggles]

I said he would win. I didn't have anything to go on, I just thought he would.

Why aren't you getting deep throated as well then?

[Amigo]

Look at Hillary weaseling her way out of a concession speech. Cunt.

[Shindig]

Given how bitter this has been, I can't blame her.

[Boydy]

I don't know how many times he's said 'tremendous' in this speech.

[mugbull]

I don't think people will let this one stand. I really don't.

[Shindig]

California's just legalised pot to take the edge off.

[Spoonsky]

He's actually done it. You've got to tip your cap to the guy, really.

Time to stop watching the news.

[Henry]

Not a good day for the human race.

[Shindig]

Imagine the black votes they'd have had if they let felons vote.

[Spoonsky]

Honestly, I understand him winning from the political side of it. It's the same thing as Brexit.

What I don't get is the personal side of it. I don't understand how so many people have been able to get past the things he's said and done. I guess it shows just how fed up people were, but... man.

[John]

Playing 'You Can't Always Get What You Want' at the end of a speech accepting the Presidency is top, top trolling.

[Bartholomert]

https://i.redd.it/ebllobik9h6x.png

[Adamski]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CwxZfbMW8AUkn36.jpg

It's over. He can't win without Flo Rida.


Is that how states are being announced now? Through a fucking shitter account?

This has to go down as the funniest part of the entire election for me.

[Boydy]

I lolled again. Yev. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

A lefty twat on my twitter feed has just blamed it on 'people feeling disenfranchised by the FPTP electoral system'.

:harold:

[John]

Why aren't you getting deep throated as well then?

Mert has thirty times as many posts in this thread and stuck to it for a year. The first time LR so much as mentioned Trump was Monday night.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Honestly, I understand him winning from the political side of it. It's the same thing as Brexit.

What I don't get is the personal side of it. I don't understand how so many people have been able to get past the things he's said and done. I guess it shows just how fed up people were, but... man.

People had two options and the other one was Hillary Clinton. Signs of a massive 'anyone but Clinton' vote helping him.

[Magic]

Playing 'You Can't Always Get What You Want' at the end of a speech accepting the Presidency is top, top trolling.

:D

I thought this.

[Magic]

Not a good day for the human race.

:D

[Giggles]

Not a good day for the human race.

Really though? Apart from a bit of symbolism, what real decisions will he actually take by himself? No matter what the country, all this is pretty much meaningless.

[Bernanke]

Really though? Apart from a bit of symbolism, what real decisions will he actually take by himself? No matter what the country, all this is pretty much meaningless.

Stacking SCOTUS for years to come. Even something like Roe v Wade isn't set in stone when the GOP holds all three branches.

[Shindig]

Honestly, I understand him winning from the political side of it. It's the same thing as Brexit.

What I don't get is the personal side of it. I don't understand how so many people have been able to get past the things he's said and done. I guess it shows just how fed up people were, but... man.

I think plenty of people want CHANGE (tm) for better or worse and Trump's the candidate to trigger that.

[Adamski]

I don't think anyone wants change for worse.

[phonics]

From one of the biggest bellends I went to uni with:

http://i.imgur.com/QuPvOaa.png

Get fucked, mate.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think the one thing this election has shown is that the one way to defeat politicians like Trump is for comedians to slate them.

John Oliver should be on the first boat back to England.

[ItalAussie]

Stacking SCOTUS for years to come. Even something like Roe v Wade isn't set in stone when the GOP holds all three branches.

The Republicans have no desire whatsoever for Roe v Wade to go down. It gets the evangelical vote in line every four years, no questions.

[ItalAussie]

He's maintained that all the polling was wrong and that Trump would piss it since day one. He had a bit of a wobble earlier, but that aside he's been steadfast and he was right.

Yup. Tip of the hat.

Might be worth putting $10 on Trump getting the Nobel Peace Prize at some stage. We're in totally uncharted territory now, so who knows?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Nobel Peace Prize is awarded by pleased with themselves social democrat Swedes, who give awards to people like Bob Dylan and Barack Obama because it makes them feel important and to meet their liberal heroes. There's more chance of me winning it than Donald Trump.

EDIT: Might be Norwegians. Fact check alert.

[ItalAussie]

No, I mean him actually undeniably earning it. He and Putin teaming up to somehow fix Syria or something.

We're in totally unmapped territory now, so why not?

[elth]

Tbh Putin and Trump can fix Syria by killing every non-Alawite in the country but I'm not sure that's worth a Nobel.

[Disco]

Hahaha, top work Americans, where do I buy my Brawndo shares?

[Magic]

From one of the biggest bellends I went to uni with:

http://i.imgur.com/QuPvOaa.png

Get fucked, mate.

The best way to OPEN PEOPLE'S EYES is to return to some shit pubs doing stand up nobody finds funny? Awesome.

[ItalAussie]

Comedy is the ultimate preaching to the choir. John Oliver knows it, and has mentioned that fact several times.

EDIT: In fairness, that guy is Danish. Do they have humour yet?

[randomlegend]

America :lol:

[Smiffy]

.....

[phonics]

Comedy is the ultimate preaching to the choir. John Oliver knows it, and has mentioned that fact several times.

EDIT: In fairness, that guy is Danish. Do they have humour yet?

Worse, he's Welsh.

[phonics]

Can't believe THE POLLS were wrong though tbh. Jezza for PM.

[Pepe]

You'd think it's time for Polling companies to completely overhaul their methods. First Brexit, and now this. Pull your socks up, guys.

Or we can just ignore them.

[Offshore Toon]

Many are talking about it already as white working class 'voting like a minority group' in response to 'identity politics for everyone but them', and I think there's a lot in that.
Definitely. You also have the problem where Brexit/UKIP/Trump voters are made to feel ashamed of their views, so there is no opportunity to have a debate with many of them. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with voting for any of those options, but there's a clear lack of want to actually engage from many lefties, despite their outrage.

[Pepe]

I don't think people will let this one stand. I really don't.

A fireball of angry tweets will be seen flying over the land.

[ItalAussie]

I tell you what though. Whichever genius the Republicans found who convinced them to focus their efforts on the midwest in the final week of the campaign (I know Trump was in Michigan and Minnesota, and surely must have stopped in Wisconsin between those two) deserves one hell of a bonus. They saw something that all the pollsters, and their opposition, totally missed. And it quite possibly won them the election.

[phonics]

I posted that Simpsons quote from Klang as Bill Clinton, "We must go forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom." and a few too many people think I'm making a deep political statement.

[7om]

I don't think people will let this one stand. I really don't.

Start a petition. That was the Brexit losers' first response while still in the denial phase.

[Offshore Toon]

"All Americans who are voting for Trump to be president, you're all fucktards just showing your pure stupidity as a nation right now that you're going to allow this moron to lead you..."

And then a few hours later by the same bloke:

"Congratulations America, you're officially a nation of fuckwits. Good luck with your future President Trump!"

[Jimmy Floyd]

Definitely. You also have the problem where Brexit/UKIP/Trump voters are made to feel ashamed of their views, so there is no opportunity to have a debate with many of them. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with voting for any of those options, but there's a clear lack of want to actually engage from many lefties, despite their outrage.

They don't want to engage because the only thing that holds the metropolitan/liberal worldview in place is the belief in its inherent superiority to all other worldviews.

Even now, with people everywhere screaming no more immigration, all they can do is quote stats about how immigration is good for us and bemoaning 'post fact/truth society', as if humanity is a machine. It's incredibly hypocritical, because the only facts/truths they have ever been interested in are those which have underpinned their own position at the top of the socio-economic tree.

[7om]

I wonder if Lord Sugar is sitting at home envisioning himself as Prime Minister in 2020.

[Offshore Toon]

"The trouble with having only decent, free thinking and progressive people on our facebook & social media, as I reckon I do, is that we can never imagine something like this coming. It doesn't seem possible or real. Scarily, there is a parallel world populated by bigots, xenophobes and whatever other problems constitute a Trump voter. Even more scarily, there are more of them than of us."

Proper full of himself, this one.

[Lewis]

My friend helpfully liked a load of his Hollywood mates' statuses for me to lol at on my Facebook feed, and it's mostly people demanding that any closet Republicans unfriend them and part-time comedians bemoaning the 'uneducated' having the vote (followed by other part-time comedians telling them how important they are now). 'WE ARE THE RESISTANCE NOW', sez one lad who looks as though the only thing he normally resists is solid fatherly advice.

[Spammer]

My friend helpfully liked a load of his Hollywood mates' statuses for me to lol at on my Facebook feed, and it's mostly people demanding that any closet Republicans unfriend them and part-time comedians bemoaning the 'uneducated' having the vote (followed by other part-time comedians telling them how important they are now). 'WE ARE THE RESISTANCE NOW', sez one lad who looks as though the only thing he normally resists is solid fatherly advice.

:lol:

[Offshore Toon]

My feed actually has a surprising amount of Trump support, although admittedly I can split the group quite easily into conspiracy theorists, people mostly joking and a girl (who I last saw at Glastonbury doing an impression of the waltzer with her face all night) that posted "Congrats Trump us".

[Lewis]

796319831318368256

What was I saying about self-awareness?

[Jimmy Floyd]

A bit of perspective would come in handy. 11th September 2001 was a 'dark, dark day'. A political candidate you don't like being voted into office, that isn't. Life goes on.

[Lewis]

A woman just rang into This Morning saying her mixed race seven year old is scared that President Trump is going to come and get him. Obviously his father won't be around, but are there aren't any other adults around who could tell him otherwise?

[7om]

The secret communist lad in the lab just told me to "get practicing my American accent because foreigners are second class citizens now."

Why would I need to practice an accent? I'll just wear my brand new hat when it arrives.

[Pepe]

The outcome of this election is seething with double standards. This has more to do with deeply engrained sexism than meets the eye (without even touching upon the blatant bigotry, racism, all of it). The 99% has elected the 1%. The irony of it all is maddening and sickening.
We have a lot more work to do. I'm not going to stop being a nasty woman.

:happycry:

Not even close to the best one but whatever.

[wullie]

There's one guy revelling in it on my Facebook, but not so much Trump winning as Obama having to go bbq his chicken on another porch, plus a load of stuff about sheeple and that Milo guy.

I don't even remember adding Harold on there.

[Pepe]

"Woke up to see that my worst fears about this election have been realized. In total shock and disbelief. So disgusted and angry with our country. I honestly don't know what to say. I'm am truly scared about how this man is going to ruin our country and hurt so many citizens. What a horrible day in American history. Truly horrible."

"I'm with you. I can't stop crying."

:happycry:

[randomlegend]

Bernie Sanders videos getting spammed on reddit so I've watched a few.

Getting Trump when you could have had this guy lmao.

[Pepe]

Capital markets already dropped, intellectuals speaking about leaving the country, parents don't know what to do with their kids: the political, social and economic mess will be HUGE.

Oh noes, the INTELLECTUALS are leaving!

I'll stop now.

[Pepe]

Bernie Sanders videos getting spammed on reddit so I've watched a few.

Getting Trump when you could have had this guy lmao.

Lad is such a don. Kudos, democratic party.

Where is that mikem?

[Bernanke]

I wonder how long it'll be before Putin tests Natos resolve by a few green little men in the Baltics.

Bernie wouldn't have won lol.

[Jimmy Floyd]

UK Twitter's recent election record.

2010 UK general election - lost (twice, really)
2011 AV referendum - lost
2012 US election - won
2014 European elections - lost
2014 Scottish referendum - lost
2015 UK general election - lost
2016 London mayoral election - won
2016 EU referendum - lost
2016 US election - lost

Any I've missed?

[Disco]

A bit of perspective would come in handy. 11th September 2001 was a 'dark, dark day'. A political candidate you don't like being voted into office, that isn't. Life goes on.

That's just the beginnings of Funnybones isn't it?

[7om]

"Woke up to see that my worst fears about this election have been realized. In total shock and disbelief. So disgusted and angry with our country. I honestly don't know what to say. I'm am truly scared about how this man is going to ruin our country and hurt so many citizens. What a horrible day in American history. Truly horrible."

"I'm with you. I can't stop crying."

:happycry:

:harold:

796342331242926080

[SvN]

The end :D

[Pepe]

That's fabulous. :D

[Lewis]

Loose Women has thrown its menopausal weight behind Michelle Obama for 2020. Enjoy your four years, Don, mate.

[Byron]

A woman just rang into This Morning saying her mixed race seven year old is scared that President Trump is going to come and get him. Obviously his father won't be around, but are there aren't any other adults around who could tell him otherwise?

I genuinely lolled at that :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jru0r8PZJjU

Nailed it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If Trump decided to black up for his inauguration, would there be legal grounds to impeach him or would they have to suck it up?

[Disco]

This is still the best thing to come out of the entire campaign.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDrfE9I8_hs&t=59s

[Offshore Toon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-USGhSBDeo

EDIT: Ah, pretty much already been posted. Still worth watching again. Fucking gimps.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Offshore Toon]

That specky lizard trying to beee strooong (second in) is the best.

[Offshore Toon]

And that woman after her reminds me of Homeward Bound.

[Pepe]

hello my white brethren & sistren,
there are gonna be hate crimes directed at POC today. a lot of white nationalist sentiment has been legitimized. it is a very scary day to be black/brown/Muslim. here's a guide on intevening in harassment subtly and safely - you could actually save a real human life!

http://68.media.tumblr.com/5ed0f9fe23f6b0d56165df09747c5988/tumblr_ocoysqdLiA1shxz3to1_500.png

[Disco]

A real human life, unlike those fake ones that doctors save.

[Lewis]

It gets better. President Trump got two million less votes than Mitt Romney, but she lost almost seven million 2012 Democrat voters. How hated and shit do you have to be for that many people not to bother when the alternative is being rammed down their throats as the worst thing ever?

[Jimmy Floyd]

She probably burned a lot of bridges whilst trying to shake Bernie off. And none of that is a euphemism.

[Dark Soldier]

Its the realisation that there's a lot, and I mean a fucking lot, of repressed hate and anger worldwide, particularly amongst the lowest classes. Wonderful time to be alive, bring it all on lads.

[Lewis]

What is that, eleven per cent of the vote? Seven million nominal supporters who couldn't be arsed to vote for her over Adolf Satan. In that context, you must be looking at the worst candidate and campaign ever (since June). Gary Johnson got almost three million more votes than in 2012 as well, so the regressive majority is looking good across the board.

[7om]

She probably burned a lot of bridges whilst trying to shake Bernie off. And none of that is a euphemism.

http://img.memecdn.com/the-real-reason-why-harambe-died_c_6930957.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

9% of registered Democrats voted for Tronald as well. I don't know how many that is in millions.

[phonics]

Speaking of Harambe - 14,000 votes for the dead gorilla.

In other news, Graham Linehan appears to have unblocked me. It seems he is... quite mad.

[Lewis]

http://img.memecdn.com/the-real-reason-why-harambe-died_c_6930957.jpg

The memes are going to be fantastic (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cwzu86wUsAAn64-.jpg). :drool:

[mugbull]

Politics should be governed by the elites tbf. Elites with the peoples' interests in mind, preferably. Most people are retarded.

[mugbull]

No but for real, this is wack. Assassination is a very real possibility.

[7om]

The memes are going to be fantastic (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cwzu86wUsAAn64-.jpg). :drool:

:lol: Best one yet.

[bruhnaldo]

I forgot about Mert :drool:

The only downside is that 'Bruhnaldo' (or whoever the fuck he is) retard also getting his way.

Look at this fucking scumbag.

[Lewis]

Look at this fucking scumbag.

Ignore him. He's notoriously small-minded.

[Pen]

I would have preferred Clinton to Trump any day, but as quite a few of you have said, there's not a good pick in that race.

What does puzzle me though is that is there anything that you can't say anymore that will keep people from voting for you? I thought there was no way Trump would win after being a cunt to so many different groups of people (I was obviously wrong).

[Pepe]

Republicans won more than anything. American politics are always about convincing your side to bother showing up and Trump managed to alienate less Republicans than Hillary managed to alienate Democrats.

[Pepe]

9% of registered Democrats voted for Tronald as well. I don't know how many that is in millions.

Where did you see that?

[phonics]

Which of these do you think he'll enact?

1. ‘Build a wall’ — and make Mexico pay for it
2. Temporarily ban Muslims from entering the United States
3. ‘Bring manufacturing (jobs) back’
4. Impose tariffs on goods made in China and Mexico
5. Renegotiate or withdraw from the North American Free Trade Agreement and Trans-Pacific Partnership
6. ‘Full repeal of Obamacare’ and replace it with a market-based alternative
7. Renegotiate the Iran deal
8. Leave Social Security as is
9. His tax plan
10. ‘Bomb’ and/or ‘take the oil’ from ISIS

[Vim]

I would have preferred Clinton to Trump any day, but as quite a few of you have said, there's not a good pick in that race.

What does puzzle me though is that is there anything that you can't say anymore that will keep people from voting for you? I thought there was no way Trump would win after being a cunt to so many different groups of people (I was obviously wrong).

It really doesn't help the Democrats that so many of them demonize everything about Trump and label you racist if you even consider defending him on some issues. When you call an undecided person a racist for not condemning Trump guess what, that person ain't gonna join your side.

[Vim]

Which of these do you think he'll enact?

1. ‘Build a wall’ — and make Mexico pay for it
2. Temporarily ban Muslims from entering the United States
3. ‘Bring manufacturing (jobs) back’
4. Impose tariffs on goods made in China and Mexico
5. Renegotiate or withdraw from the North American Free Trade Agreement and Trans-Pacific Partnership
6. ‘Full repeal of Obamacare’ and replace it with a market-based alternative
7. Renegotiate the Iran deal
8. Leave Social Security as is
9. His tax plan
10. ‘Bomb’ and/or ‘take the oil’ from ISIS

6 is probably the only one that he'll just be able to fully enact as is. I'd say that a revised, more compromising (is that a word?) version of most of the rest should be able to be put into action especially with a red Congress.

The ISIS one, doubtful, it all depends on how the situation develops there, is it even going to be up to him?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Where did you see that?

On a bar chart somewhere. It also said that 7% of Republicans voted Clinton, and that the Lib Dems are winning here.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

https://www.facebook.com/julian.schwarz.5074/videos/1221688007904807/

His face really is perfect for this stuff.

[Pepe]

On a bar chart somewhere. It also said that 7% of Republicans voted Clinton, and that the Lib Dems are winning here.

Must be all those Bernie bros.

[-james-]

796367208490397696

:happycry:

[Lewis]

https://i.imgsafe.org/344e7b4afd.jpg

[Vim]

http://i.imgur.com/oKbJs4O.png

[Boydy]

From one of the biggest bellends I went to uni with:

http://i.imgur.com/QuPvOaa.png

Get fucked, mate.
:D



I think the one thing this election has shown is that the one way to defeat politicians like Trump is for comedians to slate them.

John Oliver should be on the first boat back to England.

Malcolm Gladwell had a good episode about this on his podcast 'Revisionist History'. Satire is useless, people just see what they already believe in it.

[Bartholomert]

So how about that Mert guy eh? Guess he really does know America?

[Pepe]

Shame that he buckled under pressure during crunchtime.

[Lewis]

Sky told me that disgraced former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was speaking at half three. Yet another lie. Is it any wonder she lost?

[Lewis]

I reckon she's just milking that motorcade for all it's worth like a rented suit.

[phonics]

Shame that he cuckled under pressure during crunchtime.

ftfy

[7om]

https://media.giphy.com/media/rAdCdWqjOkpoI/giphy.gif

[7om]

Hilary concession speech:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-B6AtuNlMY

[wullie]

http://cdn2.spectator.co.uk/files/2016/03/sad.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/mIRD91h.png

Peas in a pod

[Lewis]

Margaret Beckett is having a whopper of a seethe on Sky News.

EDIT: She's claiming that Republicans/conservatives divide the country because they only watch certain news channels and don't (or refuse to) engage with alternative viewpoints. Have a nap, love.

[Disco]

Amazed I haven't seen any 9/11 comparisons, or are Americans too entrenched in their shit date format to notice?

[Lewis]

lol at this twat making her out to have been some sort of underdog.

[Boydy]

It sounded like she said 'freedom of warship'.

[7om]

Bill crying. Perv.

[Lewis]

"We hate Muslims, we hate blacks, we want our country back" being chanted at a Trump rally allegedly.


That tweet is fake.


That's pure invention from a parody Twitter account.

Look at the re-Tweets (https://twitter.com/SRowntreeNews/status/796141495573155840). Simon Rowntree. :cool:

[SvN]

https://s14.postimg.org/4yop8wno1/1478706858083.jpg

[Pepe]

Any other links for the concession speech?

[Pepe]

I am still with you Hillary. I always will be. I am so sorry that you had to concede to a man who has done nothing but demean you and call you horrible names. A man who has no experience in comparison to your 30+ years of hard work and dedication to this country. I find some solace in knowing that you won the popular vote for in a true democracy that would mean you would be the next president, but we in fact do not live in a true democracy and we are heading even farther off the path. God help us.


:happycry:

[Bartholomert]

Cannot wait till Hillary is in jail.

[SvN]

:happycry:


your 30+ years of hard work and dedication to this country

She's hardly Gandhi for fuck sake. She's a multi-millionaire as a result of being at best a politician and at worse the former first lady.

[GS]

Fair play, Mert.

I know there will be comparisons to the Brexit vote, but 11 of the last 23 polls had Leave winning against a backdrop of long-held Eurosceptic views. There's been literally no indication from tracking polls, early exit polling, or early vote analysis to suggest this was going to happen. Obama has a high approval rating (mid-fifties) and the economy is going well - therefore you'd expect more acquiescence in a 'third term' - whilst you're running against the most unpopular candidate ever. He also had one (literally one) media endorsement worth anything. It's a huge upset against conventional wisdom.

It's a serious blow to the Obama legacy, such as it will be, as I suspect his executive orders / Obamacare could be repealed quite quickly.

[Pepe]

Mostly it shows just how shit she is.

Also, mert seemed to bring a new poll showing Trump ahead every single week.

[Pepe]

Lol at 'to all young women: I am honored to be your champion.' Are these the same 'young women' who where voting for Bernie ahead of you by a wide margin?

[GS]

Mostly it shows just how shit she is.

Also, mert seemed to bring a new poll showing Trump ahead every single week.

There was a certain element of hubris in Clinton's nomination ("it's my fucking turn"), which doesn't really sit very well irrespective of who you wanted to win. That said, she is a fairly lacklustre campaigner and has struggled to close campaigns out (2008, primaries and now this).

[Lofty]

Fair play to mert. I'm not massively up on US politics but from what I've read this will potentially see the most major changes in a decade now that the Senate and Congress are no longer deadlocked? Especially if the SCOTUS is stacked as predicted.

[Bartholomert]

Fair play to mert. I'm not massively up on US politics but from what I've read this will potentially see the most major changes in a decade now that the Senate and Congress are no longer deadlocked? Especially if the SCOTUS is stacked as predicted.

America is saved for at least my children's generation, that's how big it is.

[Bartholomert]

Fair play, Mert.

I know there will be comparisons to the Brexit vote, but 11 of the last 23 polls had Leave winning against a backdrop of long-held Eurosceptic views. There's been literally no indication from tracking polls, early exit polling, or early vote analysis to suggest this was going to happen. Obama has a high approval rating (mid-fifties) and the economy is going well - therefore you'd expect more acquiescence in a 'third term' - whilst you're running against the most unpopular candidate ever. He also had one (literally one) media endorsement worth anything. It's a huge upset against conventional wisdom.

It's a serious blow to the Obama legacy, such as it will be, as I suspect his executive orders / Obamacare could be repealed quite quickly.

It's because the polls were biased as was the media in an attempt to sway the vote. It was open dishonesty.

The reality was per RCP the aggregate polls showed Clinton winning 272-266; and only winning 2-3 states by less than 2 points. It was actually not that big of a miss except for Wisconsin.

[GS]

I don't buy that the polls were biased - these pollsters have no credibility if their predictions aren't there or thereabouts. Putting yourself out of business through deliberate bias in polling strikes me as a somewhat risky business model.

[Lewis]

Lol at 'to all young women: I am honored to be your champion.' Are these the same 'young women' who where voting for Bernie ahead of you by a wide margin?

I thought the 'glass ceiling' stuff was particularly embarrassing. You raised seven-hundred million dollars.

[Bartholomert]

I don't buy that the polls were biased - these pollsters have no credibility if their predictions aren't there or thereabouts. Putting yourself out of business through deliberate bias in polling strikes me as a somewhat risky business model.

You could say the same thing about the mainstream media who are expected to provide objective unbiased coverage. These people are liars.

[Yevrah]

It gets better. President Trump got two million less votes than Mitt Romney, but she lost almost seven million 2012 Democrat voters. How hated and shit do you have to be for that many people not to bother when the alternative is being rammed down their throats as the worst thing ever?

I think the ramming down the throats thing (much like Brexit) was also a big contributing factor. People don't want to be told that something is shit and they're making a MASSIVE mistake voting for it, they want to work that out for themselves.

[GS]

You could say the same thing about the mainstream media who are expected to provide objective unbiased coverage. These people are liars.

The media in America have no requirement to provide objective unbiased coverage. I'd rather they did, but they clearly don't and they deliberately appeal directly to certain demographics for financial (or ideological) reasons.

The polling was simply wrong.

[Boydy]

https://www.theguardian.com/membership/2016/nov/09/with-trump-victorious-time-to-support-fearless-independent-journalism

The Guardian don't miss a trick, do they?

[Yevrah]

I actually thought Trump's 'acceptance' speech was very dignified and borderline quite good.

While Hillary was banging on about fighting for what is 'right', Trump's nailing her again through handing out Olive branches.

[Lewis]

https://www.theguardian.com/membership/2016/nov/09/with-trump-victorious-time-to-support-fearless-independent-journalism

The Guardian don't miss a trick, do they?

I can never decide which is worse between those appeals and the adverts for hundred quid 'masterclasses' for bloggers.

[Boydy]

I actually thought Trump's 'acceptance' speech was very dignified and borderline quite good.

Yeah, I thought so too. At least when he just stuck to what was on the autocue.

[Vim]

http://i.imgur.com/GURs6PM.png

[Baz]

Amazed I haven't seen any 9/11 comparisons, or are Americans too entrenched in their shit date format to notice?*checks the date*

Holy shit!

[Vim]

I've seen 9/11 11/9 comparisons on facebook comments, as expected.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It was also another victory for Bellwether Yevrah, of course. 100% hit rate.

[Spoonsky]

Brief cross-section of my Facebook feed this morning:


It's going to be okay. It has to be


I'm angry so get used to the political stuff



Welcome to the United States of Las Vegas.


HILLARY WON THE POPULAR VOTE.
There's always a silver lining.


i've never had my flabbers so gasted

Oh, that last one was Panda.

[Magic]

Oh yeah forgot we did that during BREXIT. I'll post up some tonight.

[Bartholomert]

The media in America have no requirement to provide objective unbiased coverage. I'd rather they did, but they clearly don't and they deliberately appeal directly to certain demographics for financial (or ideological) reasons.

The polling was simply wrong.

No your perception of the polling was wrong. In fact Colorado, Nevada and New Hampshire under performed for Trump according to the polls. I was posting polls that Trump was winning PA and MI and it was always close leaning Trump in FL, NC, OH, IA, and he did. It wasn't a surprise (except for Wisconsin), really, people just refused to accept the reality.