F1 2022 - El Plan

[Ben]

First pre-season test starts tomorrow so we might as well get the ball rolling on this one. I'll do a full breakdown for the non-nerds.

Calendar TRANSFERS:
Australia, Canada, Japan and Singapore return; Miami debuts.
Portugal, Qatar, Styria and Turkey out; China still playing the COVID card.



Grand Prix
Circuit
Date


Bahrain
Sakhir
March 20


Saudi Arabia
Jeddah
March 27


Australia
Melbourne
April 10


Emilia Romagna
Imola
April 24


Miami
Miami Gardens
May 8


Spain
Catalunya
May 22


Monaco
Monaco
May 29


Azerbaijan
Baku
June 12


Canada
Montreal
June 19


Britain
Silverstone
July 3


Austria
Red Bull Ring
July 10


France
Paul Ricard
July 24


Hungary
Hungaroring
July 31


Belgium
Spa
August 28


Netherlands
Zandvoort
September 4


Italy
Monza
September 11


Russia
Sochi
September 25


Singapore
Marina Bay
October 2


Japan
Suzuka
October 9


United States
Austin
October 23


Mexico City
Mexico City
October 30


Sao Paulo
Interlagos
November 13


Abu Dhabi
Yas Marina
November 20



Team TRANSFERS:
None. Red Bull and AlphaTauri will run engines badged as Red Bull Powertrains in 2022 but it's effectively the same Honda engine as last year; no other changes.

Driver TRANSFERS:
Kimi Raikkonen has retired at the end of 2021. His seat at Alfa Romeo is taken by Valtteri Bottas. His seat at Mercedes is taken by George Russell. His seat at Williams is taken by Alexander Albon.
Antonio Giovinazzi has been released by Alfa Romeo at the end of 2021. His seat is taken by Guanyu Zhou.
Nikita Mazepin has been released by Haas between the first and second tests due to sanctions against Russians. His seat is taken by Kevin Magnussen.



Constructor
Car
Engine
Drivers


Alfa Romeo
C42 (https://d3cm515ijfiu6w.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/28162335/alfa-romeo-2022-livery-shakedown-barcelona-c42-planetf1-1200x630.jpg)
Ferrari
(24) Guanyu Zhou
(77) Valtteri Bottas


AlphaTauri
AT03 (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FLjoQvbXoAIPVO1?format=jpg&name=large)
Red Bull
(10) Pierre Gasly
(22) Yuki Tsunoda


Alpine
A522 (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FMIRLSvX0AQWLnh?format=jpg&name=4096x4096)
Renault
(14) Fernando Alonso
(31) Esteban Ocon


Aston Martin
AMR22 (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FLUkWWkX0AQiqfF?format=jpg&name=large)
Mercedes
(5) Sebastian Vettel
(18) Lance Stroll


Ferrari
F1-75 (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FLzSpBMXsAkVEuG?format=jpg&name=4096x4096)
Ferrari
(16) Charles Leclerc
(55) Carlos Sainz Jr.


Haas
VF-22 (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FMHWrkZXIAIVMLf.jpg)
Ferrari
(9) Nikita Mazepin
(20) Kevin Magnussen
(47) Mick Schumacher


McLaren
MCL36 (https://pbs.twimg.com/card_img/1495836767173414923/KiRSFdFC?format=jpg&name=large)
Mercedes
(3) Daniel Ricciardo
(4) Lando Norris


Mercedes
W13 (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FL9SCPYXIAsvyL2.jpg)
Mercedes
(44) Lewis Hamilton
(63) George Russell


Red Bull
RB18 (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FLKoX0_XMAsXPdN.jpg)
Red Bull
(1) Max Verstappen
(11) Sergio Perez


Williams
FW44 (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FLvxwduXIAAQDvf.jpg)
Mercedes
(6) Nicholas Latifi
(23) Alexander Albon



Rule changes:
- I think everybody is aware of the main rule change which involves a complete rework of the technical regulations, resulting in radically different cars from what we've seen in the last few years. Ground effect has been reintroduced along with a complete ban on bargeboards and a massive simplification of the front wing design, in an attempt to "make racing better" by eradicating much of the dirty air the old cars would produce (thereby massively reducing downforce of the trailing car).
- Additionally, those chunky 13" wheels we've associated with Formula 1 forever have been ditched in favour of 18" wheels. They now look a lot more like road car wheels which may or may not lead to increased sales for Pirelli in this sector. Rims are now standard equipment developed by BBS complete with 90's style hubcap wheel covers in a further attempt to control airflow from the cars.
- Sprint races remain, again at three races (this time Emilia Romagna, Austria and Sao Paulo). Points are now given to the top 8 (8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1) instead of just the top 3.
- Drivers who make it through to Q3 no longer have to start the race on the set of tyres they set their fastest lap on in Q2.
- Michael Masi is out as race director for making up his own rules in Abu Dhabi.

[7om]

Boldest prediction?

Mine: Leclerc will challenge for the driver’s championship.

[Ben]

In honour of the subtitle, I've got to go with Renault actually sorting out their engine and El Plan will indeed succeed and a 40-year old Fernando Alonso will be World Champion.

With my feet on the ground I'm going to say there'll not actually be much change to the pecking order and races won't be any better (as much because nearly every race in 2021 was fucking brilliant rather than the new regs being a damp squib).

[thommo]

Bold prediction - Albon to get at least two podiums. That Williams is going to be fast out of the blocks.

Realistically, most teams will stay where they are but hopefully we get some surprise winners like we have in the past couple of seasons. As long as it's close again, it'll be enjoyable.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My main desire for the season is for G-Russ to run into the side of Verstappen at Tarzan, causing some sort of riot in which Christian Horner is tragically trampled to death.

Bold prediction: Carlos Signs to beat Leclerc (again).

[Pepe]

What an opening post. :drool:

[Pepe]

Ian, take note. I expect every football thread you start to be as detailed from now on.

[Ben]

My main desire for the season is for G-Russ to run into the side of Verstappen at Tarzan, causing some sort of riot in which Christian Horner is tragically trampled to death.

I hope its Bottas that does it just for old time's sake. :drool:

[Pepe]

Perez to beat Russell. Norris to beat Ricciardo. Sainz to beat Leclerc. Stroll to beat Vettel. Hamilton world champ.

[Clunge]

Just got a feeling that despite their progress, the new McLaren is going to be a complete dog.

[Ian]

Ian, take note. I expect every football thread you start to be as detailed from now on.

I think you know there is not a chance of that happening.

Unless somebody catches my imagination like with the Vietnam or Southend threads.

[Giggles]

Ian, take note. I expect every football thread you start to be as detailed from now on.

How do you know it’s not Ian? :sherlock:

[Shindig]

Everything's up in the air unless you're Haas. Although wasn't testing where Brawn showed their hand? Not that I see that happening again. The grid's had two years to think on this. Everyone will have a thesis.

Judging by the onboards from the Williams, I wonder if those covers over the front wheels can play havok with spray in wet conditions?

[Ben]

Everything's up in the air unless you're Haas. Although wasn't testing where Brawn showed their hand? Not that I see that happening again. The grid's had two years to think on this. Everyone will have a thesis.

This is probably revisionist but I seem to remember at least a few teams thinking Brawn had gone full beans in testing (in part to win sponsors) so weren’t overly concerned and thought they’d reel them in a lot quicker than it turned out.

[Shindig]

That's fair. That thing barely had any logos on it.

[7om]

Second bold prediction: Haas will get a podium this season.

[niko_cee]

I see the Merc is tooling around again with that weird chicken wire fence they seem to stick on the front of the car every year. What's the deal with that thing? Is it some sort of sensor array?

[Ian]

How do you know it’s not Ian? :sherlock:

Shh!

[Disco]

I see the Merc is tooling around again with that weird chicken wire fence they seem to stick on the front of the car every year. What's the deal with that thing? Is it some sort of sensor array?

Sounds like the air flow sensors they use, was it sat behind the front wheels? If so they'll be looking at how the air flows off/around the front bits of the car to make sure it's all being directed into the big floor scoops under the sidepods.

[Lewis]

Is Adrian Newey doing something nobody else has done pointing to them dominating, or can they all copy it after a couple of races?

[niko_cee]

What, with their now much talked about undercut sidepods?


Sounds like the air flow sensors they use, was it sat behind the front wheels? If so they'll be looking at how the air flows off/around the front bits of the car to make sure it's all being directed into the big floor scoops under the sidepods.

Aye, that's the one.

[Gray Fox]

Finally seeing a real version of a Red Bull today. Seems like Mercedes are on their own with that front wing design. It's so interesting to see the different ways the teams have gone about the same regulations.

My bold prediction for this season: Carlos Sainz jr. World Drivers Champion.

[Ben]

The Red Bull side pods look wacky. Top three teams with three completely different concepts. It’s going to be a fun season, at least to begin with.

[Ben]

Tickets for Sochi have been pulled. Apparently Turkey has been signed up as a replacement. I’ll update opening post if/when confirmed.

[Ben]

:drool:

https://i.redd.it/o202brhd1kj81.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

The helmet is the sexiest part of that. There needs to be a rule about drivers using only 3/4 colours on their helmet and stick to the same one all season. Like fuck am I looking at the TV post things to tell the cars apart.

Also, mandatory names for all corners. No more 'Turn 13'. Make me FIA president now.

[Shindig]

Yeah, I miss being able to recognise drivers from iconic helmet designs. Schumacher, Hakkinen, Coulthard, Lauda, Hill, Senna. I know Lewis has a Senna motif going on but I can't call it from memory.

[Disco]

No more than 3 colours for a helmet and the size of paddock motorhomes should be directly proportional to how prominent the numbers are.

[Pepe]

The helmet is the sexiest part of that. There needs to be a rule about drivers using only 3/4 colours on their helmet and stick to the same one all season. Like fuck am I looking at the TV post things to tell the cars apart.

Also, mandatory names for all corners. No more 'Turn 13'. Make me FIA president now.

Yes, please.

Have I ever shown off my Valentino Rossi replica helmets in here? I look proper pro riding around on my Korean scooter with a big yellow 46 on the back of my head.

[7om]

Apparently yesterday Leclerc was 5km/h faster on the straights compared to last year.

[Giggles]

It's even nicer without the stripes.


1497134968794931222

[phonics]

I love Turkeys new position of not having a race and getting one anyway every year.

[Ben]

Haas removed the Uralkali branding because now they’re genuinely concerned they won’t get paid due to sanctions. Guenther already making noises about binning Nikita.

[Luke Emia]

Looks like this could also spell the end for Mazepin. What a shame.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't understand why there isn't already a total ban on all Russian involvement in this and any sport, much like the South African apartheid ban.

[7om]

Because F1 is inherently corrupt and cares about one thing only: cash. Everything else is a facade.

[Disco]

Because like in all things we want to feel good about banning cheats but it's too inconvenient/awkward to actually do it.

[Yevrah]

Like Gary Neville and the super league this appears to be breaking you a bit Jim.

Money drives capitalism and a capitalist society is the one in which we live.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Like Gary Neville and the super league this appears to be breaking you a bit Jim.

Money drives capitalism and a capitalist society is the one in which we live.

We also lived in a capitalist society when South Africa were locked out of international sport, when English clubs were banned post Heysel, and so on. What we live in now is the sportswashing era, and sport itself needs to end it.

[Ian]

What are your current ideas for corner names, Jimmy?

I hope there are some TTH themed ones.

[Yevrah]

We also lived in a capitalist society when South Africa were locked out of international sport, when English clubs were banned post Heysel, and so on. What we live in now is the sportswashing era, and sport itself needs to end it.

Yes, but the landscape was so different back then, the sports weren't awash with all this dodgy money and it's much less attractive to break ties as a result. I assume you're not following Chelsea anymore as of now, right?

[niko_cee]

He can probably still follow Chelsea and hold the view that dodgy owner money should probably be expunged from the game.

Good luck with that one though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yes, but the landscape was so different back then, the sports weren't awash with all this dodgy money and it's much less attractive to break ties as a result. I assume you're not following Chelsea anymore as of now, right?

I've always been hostile to the Abramovich ownership (or a lot more hostile than your average Chelsea fan is - I'm not going to switch to supporting Southend because a particular brand of cunt owns my club at this time) but at this point, if I was the FA/PL/UK Gov or whoever has the power, I would unilaterally stop televising our matches and make the team play behind closed doors (cutting off all income and exposure) until such time as the ownership changes or is linked to a less violent regime in Russia.

[Ian]

We should bring back calling them "Chelski" like my dad still does as if it's eternally 2005. That'll cut 'em deep.

[Lewis]

Imagine the gallery of shitheads lining up to buy Chelsea in the seized assets auction. Ken Bates coming back during Super Sunday like when Ric Flair bought Shane and Stephanie out.

[Shindig]

It'll be Mike Ashley.

"I did it ... for the high street." And I hope this ends up with 'Andretti' hastily scrawled on the side of the Haas' at some point this season.

[Ben]

"I did it ... for the high street." And I hope this ends up with 'Andretti' hastily scrawled on the side of the Haas' at some point this season.

That was my first thought. Andretti will just buy the carcass of Haas.

[7om]

Will the Bahrain test be televised?

[Ben]

Yes, full coverage from Sky et al.

[Yevrah]

I've always been hostile to the Abramovich ownership (or a lot more hostile than your average Chelsea fan is - I'm not going to switch to supporting Southend because a particular brand of cunt owns my club at this time) but at this point, if I was the FA/PL/UK Gov or whoever has the power, I would unilaterally stop televising our matches and make the team play behind closed doors (cutting off all income and exposure) until such time as the ownership changes or is linked to a less violent regime in Russia.

So you're not going to stop following Chelsea but you expect the PL to stop allowing fans into their games or tv stations broadcasting their games? A corking example of how we're all complicit in this to some degree and how we really don't care enough to do anything about it.

[Ben]

And on the third day of preseason testing, He rose again.

Italian Jesus is back, baby. Mazepin to be turfed next week and 1&1 to become title sponsor.*

*just a rumour for now

[Jimmy Floyd]

So you're not going to stop following Chelsea but you expect the PL to stop allowing fans into their games or tv stations broadcasting their games? A corking example of how we're all complicit in this to some degree and how we really don't care enough to do anything about it.

It's not a corking example of anything. If I were giving the club my money it would be a tad hypocritical, but I'm not, I'm just attaching some vague identity tag of 'Chelsea supporter' to myself, something that is meaningless.

If my country were run by a government I hated, I wouldn't go and become Belgian.

[7om]

And on the third day of preseason testing, He rose again.

Italian Jesus is back, baby. Mazepin to be turfed next week and 1&1 to become title sponsor.*

*just a rumour for now

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[Yevrah]

It's not a corking example of anything. If I were giving the club my money it would be a tad hypocritical, but I'm not, I'm just attaching some vague identity tag of 'Chelsea supporter' to myself, something that is meaningless.

If my country were run by a government I hated, I wouldn't go and become Belgian.

I'll pull back, I didn't realise you didn't give them any money. Sky must be significantly worse for you without the sports package.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not giving up Elite League speedway to get back at RA, so I'll just have to wait for the Chelsea blackout.

[Giggles]

I'll pull back, I didn't realise you didn't give them any money. Sky must be significantly worse for you without the sports package.

Sky Sports show 24 hour Chelsea on all channels?

[Yevrah]

Sky Sports show 24 hour Chelsea on all channels?

No, it's true fax that they never show Chelsea and don't give them a penny as a result.

[Giggles]

No, it's true fax that they never show Chelsea and don't give them a penny as a result.

Yeah, you're gone down that dark road again. I'll abstain because you're just not worth it when you've run mad.

[Adramelch]

I think we should all stop using natural gas and stay cold instead. Staying warm just means you are supporting Russia, or at the very least being a hypocrite.

[Giggles]

I think we should all stop using natural gas and stay cold instead. Staying warm just means you are supporting Russia, or at the very least being a hypocrite.

But what if you buy a Twix in the shop that sells the gas?

[Adramelch]

Then you might as well come out and openly support Russia.

[Giggles]

PRACTICALLY HANDING IT TO PUTIN.

What about a dairy milk?

[Adramelch]

You would hope we don't have such war criminals in this here christian forum.

[Yevrah]

Yeah, you're gone down that dark road again. I'll abstain because you're just not worth it when you've run mad.

Sigh. Your levels of engagement are appalling.

Jim is running round the forum staggered that Russia haven't been banned from all forms of sport and it's pretty obvious why they haven't as it benefits said sports for them not to be. Similarly, he hasn't stopped watching Chelsea because it benefits him not to. Is that not at least on the same spectrum and can he honestly say that he'd have had Russia out were he running those sports and personally benefitting financially from Russia being involved in them.

Also, where do you draw the line with this? We invaded Iraq for utterly spurious reasons, tens of thousands died as a result and the country was left in a complete mess. I don't think that was as bad as what Putin's done (hardly an objective opinion mind), but should we have been suspended from all sport for say, a year or two, rather than the banhammer Jim expects for Russia?

[Ben]

Red Bull crying over the car weights now.

Basically they’re way over the minimum limit so want it raised so they aren’t disadvantaged lol.

[7om]

I love the politicking and paddock gossip almost as much as the racing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why didn't they just make a car that was within the regulations?

Honestly if Horner gets run over by a stray Haas I won't mourn for long.

[Giggles]

Why didn't they just make a car that was within the regulations?

Honestly if Horner gets run over by a stray Haas I won't mourn for long.

From the way it reads, their car is within regulations. They just want some other teams pushed out of regulations.

[Ben]

Yeah they’re not foul, just scared other cars are far lighter (but still legal).

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, I was thinking upside down. What I meant was 'should have made the car lighter, then, chaps'.

[John Arne]

Mazespin allowed to race under an 'FIA Flag'... Is that any better than a Russian flag?

https://gyazo.com/31ea620d0bed5d3ab58316ddef711c87.jpeg

[Ben]

I think Haas will bin him off anyway so it's by the by.

[Disco]

It's so you can look like you're banning people without having to go to the bother of actually doing it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

British motorsport have banned him anyway so that's at least one race he'll have to miss. RIP Nikita I suspect.

[7om]

I think Haas will bin him off anyway so it's by the by.

Where does that leave Haas? The running joke is that Dmitri is propping the team up with his money so can they even survive without him?

[Jimmy Floyd]

TBH if they did a twitter crowdfund to fund the other seat with someone popular, they'd probably recoup quite a lot of it.

[Gray Fox]

If MAZ is turfed out the word is Pietro Fittipaldi will be in again.

[Ben]

Where does that leave Haas? The running joke is that Dmitri is propping the team up with his money so can they even survive without him?

Uralkali are already out. They took the branding off the car because Mazepin Sr. has been sanctioned.

Word is 1&1 (Mick's sponsor) are stepping up. Ferrari will push for Italian Jesus but I don't think he has a lot of sponsors whereas Fittipaldi will no doubt get Brazilian and American companies behind him if he gets a permanent seat.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sponsors won't be a problem now. F1 heading in a skywards direction especially in the US.

[Disco]

You'd think Andretti would be in prime spot to buy Haas given their recent interest and all that Russian money presumably disappearing.

[Shindig]

Yeah, Haas have the funding for the year. The only thing probably holding Andretti back is they've probably planned everything for 2024. The money might not theoretically be there and, even if it was, that's two extra years of running costs. Admittedly, they'd be saving money buying out an existing operation but it could still go Mastercard Lola if they jump the gun.

[Disco]

Buying is better than starting with a fresh entry as you get prize money right away, I think it's still two years before you qualify otherwise.

[Ben]

You'd think Andretti would be in prime spot to buy Haas given their recent interest and all that Russian money presumably disappearing.

He's been trying. They keep knocking him back apparently, so they must have at least half a plan to make up the shortfall (ie. American sponsors).

I'd rather Andretti came in as an extra team anyway.

Andretti is loaded by the way. Money isn't a huge concern.

[Disco]

I can't see why Haas hasn't sold already, unless he really believes Gunther can catapult them back up the grid this year.

[Shindig]

Could it be as simple as not wanting to sell to a rival?

[Ben]

I can't see why Haas hasn't sold already, unless he really believes Gunther can catapult them back up the grid this year.

He seems to go through phases where he's more interested. I read an article last week that stated he was willing to invest more of his personal wealth this year.

[Disco]

I'm of the opinion that he's waiting for the next Netflix series to increase the value of his entry a bit more, the team being less of a laughing stock would help but that's much harder to change.

[Ben]

Fittipaldi will indeed replace Mazepin. Statement coming.

[7om]

He’s officially gone. Give me that Gio redemption storyline please.

[Shindig]

Y'know, it's kind of a shame with the circumstances involved. He's probably the worst driver on the grid since Alex Yoong but it would've been interesting to see what a couple more years could've given him.

[Ben]

He’s officially gone. Give me that Gio redemption storyline please.

Sadly seems to be Fittipaldi, who I think will also be shown up a bit by Schumacher. Giovinazzi would have been by far their best option for immediate performances but I guess Ferrari don’t have a complete hold of Haas despite the factory move.

[Disco]

Not sure how this can be legal but someone is uploading old BBC Grand Prix shows, so if you enjoy pit crews wearing summer casual and near lethal accidents make the most of it.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_-ypbgg6NRaA1p9tPTI4qg

[Ben]

1982 was carnage.

[Disco]

I've been watching 1990, it makes a great case for binning blue flags which I would be right behind if we didn't have silly sized cars these days.

[Ben]

I know it's all safety and the like, but I really miss the small cars too.

It was probably posted at the time but this is brilliant. The engine. The nimble car. Fernando giving it full beans. These cars with today's tyres would be glorious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XcjoJ61L-k

[Byron]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/60651647

I'm pretty sure he's a Scooby Doo villain at this point.

[Ben]

Odious individual.

[Shindig]

The man just exudes bitterness. He's still sore his own racing career was piss poor.

[7om]

Magnussen confirmed for Haas.

[Shindig]

Huh. Didn't expect that.

[Disco]

He clearly has some money behind him.

[Ben]

:cool:

[Disco]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT1HQEbPS4Q

[7om]

K-Mag :cool:

All we need is for Haas to give us a new livery and we can forget this 12-month Uralkali shit show ever happened.

[Shindig]

I still think it's a bit shit how Mazepin's career has come to a dead stop because of this.

[Gray Fox]

Especially when he would have ended it himself had he been allowed to drive this season.

Did not the the Magnussen news coming but good for him.

[Ben]

Brazilian journos were speculating Fittipaldi couldn’t get his sponsorship money together, but I suspect that was just a cover for him being inexperienced and bang average and Haas didn’t want to commit to that again.

[Shindig]

The real shame is Piastri not sneaking in. I suppose he's probably the successor to Fernando unless he hangs on like the bastard he is.

[Ben]

Watching testing like a true nerd and the porpoising looks nasty.

Also the Merc has had some serious lipo since Barcelona and has completely lost its sidepods.

[Adramelch]

McLaren seem to have the hang of it and I reckon other teams will follow suit. I think what they are struggling with is how to optimize the whole thing, as you are giving away overall performance to solve porpoising so it's a bit of a balance in the end. I wouldn't be surprised if some lesser version of it remains by design.

[Ben]

Yeah it seems to be pretty easy (https://www.reddit.com/r/F1Technical/comments/t8usgw/the_solution_to_porpoising_by_ferrari_and_mclaren/). But designers don't give a fuck about driver's spines so if it costs them a tenth they'll push back.

[Gray Fox]

So it seems like Mercedes decided to break out Lucille. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teRzkaURkeo)

I wonder if Red Bull are also hiding something up their sleeve.

[Ben]

They made a good point on commentary that it might not be a case of the top teams "hiding things" but a product of the new regulations where they get much less wind tunnel time than say, Haas.

[Disco]

The Merc looks amazing, a hearty lol if they're off the front again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ross Brawn bowling around saying they didn't expect this interpretation of the regulations is poacher turned gamekeeper if ever I saw it.

[Disco]

Horner and his 'no official comment' means he must be absolutely seething.

[Ben]

What's new? Even when they won the fucking WDC he couldn't hold himself back for one night to have a dig at Merc.

[Disco]

Alfa Romeo should automatically win the constructors for being the only ones to paint the wheel hubs. Ferrari last for those horrible black trousers.

[Ben]

These cars handle like buses through the slow corners because the Venturi tunnels don't operate at such low speeds so there's zero downforce.

[Disco]

Lots of understeer and little lock ups.

[Shindig]

And the constant belly flops.

[Disco]

For the first time I find myself in the 'more noisy engines' camp but only so we don't have to hear them scraping along the ground down every straight.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The bumps are weird, it's like they're doing the 110m hurdles down the straights. When was it last so, the 70s?

[Disco]

It's the ground effect detaching/reattaching so that would be about right.

[niko_cee]

I find all this sandbagging very tiresome.

I get it, and I guess it has always been a thing to an extent, but it's just too much now. When the Brawn came out of nowhere they did it in testing, no?

It almost feels like there is an art to nobbling your car whilst still being able to test the things you want so you don't accidentally go too fast. Like it has felt that the past few years have seen teams trying to deliberately make their wash more 'unfollowable' on purpose. It's just shit.

Be pretty funny if Merc roll out an entirely different sidepod concept next week and this one is just another decoy. Either that or this car is a right dog which would also be good, as long as Red Bull are also shit.

[Disco]

I don't think Brawn had any idea they would be as fast as they were and the sand bags well and truly came out once they realised.

[Ben]

Brawn had to get sponsors in quick so making themselves look shit was counterproductive for them.

[Disco]

Like the good old days of Eddie Jordan and Renault doing glory runs to tap up sponsors.

[Disco]

Coviddiardo confirmed, lucky that there's no travel required before the first race so he should be back in time.

[Shindig]

Unless he dies.

[Disco]

Mclaren don't have a reserve driver so they'll look pretty silly if that happens.

[niko_cee]

Haas rolling in well clear of the field in their extra hour just shows the sandbagging has gone too far.

Unless they're trying to do the Brawn thing and attract sponsors, but, in that case, no one is going to believe they are in any way competitive due to said feared sandbagging.

Broken.

[Giggles]

Drive to Survive is back tonight and I already love how much the Horner heavy episode will wind people up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Does it show him making love with Ginger Spice? If not, then things could always be worse.

[Ben]

Not far off.

[Giggles]

Maybe they will in the last episode :drool:

[phonics]

First episode wasn’t great but it rarely is.

[Shindig]

Honestly, the reliability problems coming up in testing could make for a mad few races.

[Disco]

I like how they took the time to tell us it's good to start the race in front of everyone else.

[Ben]

I like how they took the time to tell us it's good to start the race in front of everyone else.

Will Buxton does my fucking head in.

[Giggles]

I like how they took the time to tell us it's good to start the race in front of everyone else.

There seemed to be a lot of bits like that where they were telling the dummies how it worked. Reminded me of when BBC used to show the superbowl. Have they always done that?

[Ben]

I mean, we aren’t the target audience. It’s to bring in new fans, especially American, and by all accounts it’s done exactly that over there. I’m not even sure if I’ll finish this series.

[Giggles]

From what I’ve read, you’ll all stop by episode 5 anyway. I hadn’t even realised it was all up. Got so used to things being uploaded one episode at a time at this stage.

[niko_cee]

Had a dream last night that the Merc bowled in with some sort of low 1.20 lap [I know, I need to get out more] but it looks like they might actually be going for the lolz at the other end of the spectrum.

[Disco]

The pre-season Ferrari wankathon is in full swing again I see, perhaps they'll actually deliver this time.

[Giggles]

The pre-season Ferrari wankathon is in full swing again I see, perhaps they'll actually deliver this time.

There’s not a hope of them somehow discovering how to be competent.

[niko_cee]

Norris and Russell repeatedly sabotaging each other's runs at the end there was a bit :cab:.

[Ben]

Red Bull turned it on today. :moop:

[Ben]

Sounding like a third US GP is coming (Vegas)...

[Shindig]

Yeah, I won't hold my breath on that one. Florida, New York, etc.

[Disco]

Colt onHerta signed with Mclaren today too, burgers all round.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I imagine there'll be six or seven (of 30) races over there eventually.

[7om]

I think we’re reaching breaking point on the number of races. There’s stories of mechanics and auxiliary staff quitting the sport because they’re basically living out of a suitcase 9 months of the year.

[Shindig]

Yeah, it's not like NASCAR where they have crews and cars at two locations at any one time.

[Disco]

If the calendar isn't made more sensible then they'll soon need two crews, which will be another tiresome teams vs budget cap debate.

[Shindig]

The push on cutting costs means something has to give. Formula 1 doesn't really go backwards. They might have to if they want an affordable way to run 2 cars + spares + logistics.

[Disco]

F1 pays for freight anyway or a portion of it at least, the teams could leave their giant paddock motorhomes behind but somehow that is never an option.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I know anything about sports administrators, piddling concerns like the above will be no match for growing the size of the pot with 8 extra races.

[Shindig]

Until 7 of those races bounce after one year for failing to keep the payments up.

[Disco]

Most of the way through DTS and it's a somewhat frustrating experience. I know it's not for old grognards like me but for a crew that had unfettered access to the entire season they don't half get some stuff wrong and re-use a surprising amount of footage. Some of it is silly meaningless stuff like successive shots of Ricciardo chasing/fighting someone but with different tires on, but they literally say that Verstappen won the sprint in Monza when he clearly did not (they even show him starting the race second). You could also make a decent drinking game out of how often they show footage from Monaco yet we get almost nothing from Baku which was one of the pivotal points of the season.

On the other hand you do get Yuki Tsunoda's varyingly diplomatic opinions on Milton Keynes, mushy peas, and one of his own poos as well as a window into Jost Capito's obsession with balls and more evidence that George Russell is a bit of a whopper.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I haven't yet found a documentary about a subject I know (a lot) about which is even slightly convincing. Sport is particularly bad for it, as the film makers are always looking to simplify the narrative and things like actual results tend to get in the way of that.

[Shindig]

To be honest, people on youtube do a better job drama-ing up Formula 1 than Netflix.

[Giggles]

I finished it this morning. Nothing really new in that we already knew 99.9% of the people involved are wankers. I did find all the explainers and fake commentary a bit over the top on it than usual though (and the journalist telling us that everything COULD DECIDE THE CHAMPIONSHIP all the time). Worth it to hear “Michael…Michael…no no” or whatever it was all over again though. I think I like Russell more going forward too. Surprising prick was Tsunoda.

[Disco]

I have also learned that I could listen to Toto Wolff say 'pumpernickel' for almost any length of time. But I also don't want to be shown Max winning in Austria with shots of the grandstand from Zaandvoort.

Dig up Clive James basically, he did this shit better in about an hour.

[7om]

Dunno how people watch DTS. I tried season 1 a while back and its just Americanised tripe.

[Shindig]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sZNyyP-Tfc

[Giggles]

Dunno how people watch DTS. I tried season 1 a while back and its just Americanised tripe.

That’s most TV. It’s entertainment, the same reason we all watch the tripe we watch.

[Disco]

Same reason I got up at 7am to put testing on, there's no other racing to watch at the moment.

[Shindig]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZRLK1jfjac

Tone it down, lads.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Unless they're about to film a Wind in the Willows remake, I'm afraid that's not acceptable.

[Ben]

These guys are rich enough to tell these companies to fuck off surely.

[Ben]

Formula 1's safety car rules have been changed to make it impossible for a race to be conducted in the manner of 2021's controversial title decider.

Well no actually. They've just committed to actually following the FIA rules from now on.

Letting some cars past the safety car before a restart was entire out of Jonathan Wheatley and Michael Masi's rulebook.

[Giggles]

I see the BBC are still embarassing themselves with it.

[Ben]

Andrew Benson is dreadful.

[Giggles]

1504146995061133318

[thommo]

HulkenBACK. :cool:

[Giggles]

Had to come back to see Magnussen.

[John Arne]

1504146995061133318

I don't get it...

[Ben]

Hulk :cool:

[Disco]

As much as I like seeing Hulkenberg again I do wonder why they didn't just lie about it like they did with Stroll last year.

Anyway, who's your money on for Sunday (did we do predictions this year?), I've got Sir Lewis Larbalestier Hamilton because testing is a sham.

[Giggles]

Russel to win.

[Ben]

I can't see past Max.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Head says Verstappen might win every race, or near enough.

[Ben]

Yeah Red Bull have been giving off those ominous 2013 vibes.

[Giggles]

Is this like the thing Liverpool fans do?

[niko_cee]

Are we going to see anything in free practice or do we have to wait for qualifying to actually see if the sandbags ere real or imaginary?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nope. As a driver he's light years ahead of anyone besides Hamilton, and as Hamilton ages and Verstappen (maybe) matures, logic would suggest Max will eventually start to have the edge there as well. From there the others will need clear mechanical superiority and it's not clear that anyone is close to having that.

A blowout season often follows an epic battle, too: think 2004, 2013, etc. Often the other party has used up too much fight the previous year.

[Disco]

There were certain 2005 vibes from last year but I think there's at least a reasonable chance that Mercedes will end up with the best car if their more aggressive design ends up working.

[SincereTheRebel]

In FP1, Ocon's side pod has exploded within 5 minutes and they havered-flagged the session.

[niko_cee]

Any chance of seeing anything in FP2 as it will be more representative of qualifying/the race?

[Gray Fox]

In the past, FP1 is usually car setup. FP2 is long run/race pace and FP3 is fine tuning set up towards qualy laps.

[Shindig]

Yeah, Mercedes look right off it. I don't fancy the two Ferraris muscling with Verstappen.

[Giggles]

Damon Hill really needs to go and take a long lie down somewhere. Absolute joker.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bottas v Zhou might be one of the biggest team mate thumpings of recent years.

[Disco]

In my (obviously infallible) brain ranking I have Zhou somewhere between Latifi and Schumacher so it could be a whitewash if Bottas is still on the porridge.

[7om]

Predictions for tomorrow?

Out in Q1:
Zhou
Latifi
Hulkenberg
Tsunoda
Stroll

Max on pole, Leclerc second, Lewis third. I reckon McLaren are going to struggle and Mick Schumacher into Q3.

[Pepe]

Bring the opener back to Australia.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bring the opener back to Australia.

This. Or at least a day race. I hate night races.

[Disco]

I quite like not starting at a shitty street circuit though, even if it is one of the better ones.

[Ben]

The new graphics are shit. Going to be spending my time looking up and down the list constantly for drivers. Even if they put the logo on the team colour background it would be a million times better.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bring back the 90s ones with the yellow squares, I miss not having a clue where anyone is.

[Disco]

1505145130268835846

[Giggles]

The Mercedes is quick after all. Well pick me up off the floor, how unexpected.

[niko_cee]

:D

They're such cunts.

[Giggles]

They've been laying it on far too thick to be believable this time round.

[Gray Fox]

But guys honestly. THIS TIME to we really really mean it.

[Disco]

Still about a second off what Red Bull were doing yesterday but it's looking a bit more competitive, now to see if they do that on both long and short runs.

[Giggles]

Brundle sounds so happily surprised that you'd almost think he's not part of the sandbag.

[Gray Fox]

I still think Mercedes are off the pace, but not backmarkers like they’ll have you believe.

Would be nice to see the red cars at the front if they’re lacking.

[niko_cee]

Are they still allowed to fiddle with engine modes or is it just one setting now?

Verstappen and LeClerc on the front row has the potential for some fairly epic lolz.

[thommo]

KMag in 7th indicates the Haas genuinely could have some early-season pace.

[Gray Fox]

Are they still allowed to fiddle with engine modes or is it just one setting now?

Verstappen and LeClerc on the front row has the potential for some fairly epic lolz.

What they run in Qualy has to be ran throughout the rest of the weekend after.

Then can slow it down or turn it up in practice all they want though.

[Ben]

Naomi Schiff is actually decent at this analyst gig so far. Plus she’s far better to look at than Damon.

[Gray Fox]

I'm getting really sick of hearing about Abu Dhabi in every interview.

[Ben]

Releasing the report two hours before the start of the new season was a pathetic move.

[Disco]

Somewhat warranted given the report was released about 10 minutes ago (telling everyone what they knew months ago).

[Gray Fox]

At least the next hour or so will give us all something new to talk about. Been far to long.

[Giggles]

At least the next hour or so will give us all something new to talk about. Been far to long.

Someone tell Damon Hill.

[Giggles]

Are they not showing times in the graphic at all?

[Ben]

Haas :cool:

Alfa :cool:

[Giggles]

Haas :drool:

[Ben]

Bottas going to out qualify the Mercs :D

[Gray Fox]

Bottas 3 tenths up on Hamilton. Wowzers.

[Shindig]

The Russell curse is real.

[Disco]

I'd like pundits to stop being surprised that the Ferrari engine is competitive again, we all knew this would happen when they were able to update following their 'secret' cheating deal with the FIA.

[Giggles]

If they delete Sainz time does that mean he’s out? He didn’t do any more laps.

[Gray Fox]

The Mercs being 0.8 secs off it in qualifying is quite the shock. I expected that to be about half the gap. Maybe the lack of sidepods isn't such a good thing.

[Giggles]

I'd like pundits to stop being surprised that the Ferrari engine is competitive again, we all knew this would happen when they were able to update following their 'secret' cheating deal with the FIA.

I think I’d rather go back to a few months of the 2021 decider than that old chestnut.

[Disco]

Hulkenberg a 1/4 of a second ahead of Stroll :harold:

[7om]

Haas look solid. Now we can really start to form some judgements on Schumacher.

[Gray Fox]

Also good to see Albon with a strong showing.

[Ben]

If they delete Sainz time does that mean he’s out? He didn’t do any more laps.

Seems they’re all bark and no bite. Perez was in the grandstand on his lap.

[SincereTheRebel]

The graphics for the time and positions are terrible.

[Disco]

Yeah the ladder on the side is not an improvement, the one they use in MotoGP was already better.

[Giggles]

Seems they’re all bark and no bite. Perez was in the grandstand on his lap.

That’s a load of shite from the off then really. If he was out then his lap should be gone.

[Ben]

Why they’ve taken away the team colours on the side graphic I do not know. Dreadful.

[Giggles]

There’s no need to be using those car numbers in the same font as they’re on the car.

[Ben]

The headshots are wank as well. Clearly they’ve employed a few kids with a penchant for Photoshop filters to redesign it all.

It was absolutely fine last year.

[Giggles]

I do love the look of those Mercs.

[Gray Fox]

Up to less than 0.3 in that session, a few upgrades and we could well have a 3 way for the title.

[Ben]

Don’t discount Haas either :cool:

[Gray Fox]

Well, well, well. We do have a title race.

[Disco]

Always been a big Ferrari fan, great to see them back at the front.

[Gray Fox]

I hated the Ferrari growing up for obvious reasons, but I'll take them over a smug looking Whinger Spice any day.

[Foe]

Sainz and leclerc seem pretty likeable so difficult to be too upset.

Sainz winning the championship would be glorious.

[Disco]

Leclerc / Verstappen was pretty spicy in karts but as long as it's a contest I'll be happy.

[Giggles]

Still wondering why Sainz wasn’t deleted in Q1. It’s as plain as day.

[Ben]

He wasn’t even the worst offender. They got everyone on board with it by saying “white lines are the limit everywhere” then realised they have to monitor 20 cars at 15 corners and it’s harder than it sounds.

I’m ok with it today if they stick to the rule and gradually police it better. All the previous “white line at T4 and kerb at T11 and T15” is just complete bullshit so they get the benefit of the doubt today from me.

[Disco]

Didn't someone have a time deleted in Q2? Either do it or don't, certainly don't say you'll do it then find out you can't actually manage it.

[thommo]

Zhou did yeah, for a violation at T4/5.

Regarding Perez, he definitely did another run in Q1 that was better than his lap where he went wide. Sainz though.... he didn't look wide on the replay so maybe it was just a wobble and he was safe?