What shall your weekend bring?

[Magic]

I've never done it, dickhead.

:(

[Baz]

Bastard.I genuinely apologise. Was all in the spirit of gaining members. Sorry.

[Lewis]

We've had a bloke in doing some painting this afternoon, and there must have been all of thirty seconds between him asking me whether I watch conspiracy theory videos on YouTube to him telling me that he nearly 'came to blows' with his brother-in-law over whether Auschwitz was what they say it is.

'He said "I've been", but - and I'm not saying I agree with it - actually you've seen some buildings and heard a story.'
'Well, yeah. I don't really watch them.'

[Waffdon]

Out tonight straight from work until whenever I roll up at my front door. Was meant to be going to Tony Macaroni away for the football tomorrow but kinda decided to go to a birds house instead. Potential punching of the year may occur.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We've had a bloke in doing some painting this afternoon, and there must have been all of thirty seconds between him asking me whether I watch conspiracy theory videos on YouTube to him telling me that he nearly 'came to blows' with his brother-in-law over whether Auschwitz was what they say it is.

'He said "I've been", but - and I'm not saying I agree with it - actually you've seen some buildings and heard a story.'
'Well, yeah. I don't really watch them.'

You should point him towards David Irving.

[Giggles]

Why are you going to punch her? Or is she punching you?

[Lewis]

You should point him towards David Irving.

I e-mailed him once and he never replied, so he can fuck off if he thinks I'm selling his books for him.

[phonics]

Why are you going to punch her? Or is she punching you?


Shaggin' mate.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I e-mailed him once and he never replied, so he can fuck off if he thinks I'm selling his books for him.

It's a busy job denying the holocaust.

[Lewis]

He was alright before he went mental.

[Kikó]

Out tonight straight from work until whenever I roll up at my front door. Was meant to be going to Tony Macaroni away for the football tomorrow but kinda decided to go to a birds house instead. Potential punching of the year may occur.

Football > birds.

[Waffdon]

Maybe

I might have fucked up anyway

[Giggles]

Shaggin' mate.

Well of course.

[Kikó]

Maybe

I might have fucked up anyway

I'm probably going to the Brig o Tay for the game before Edinburgh later. It could have been a wonderful meet.

[Waffdon]

Naw idea what that is, mate, but it sounds dreadful.

[Kikó]

:lol: somewhere on this side of the Tay.

[Spikey M]

We've had a bloke in doing some painting this afternoon, and there must have been all of thirty seconds between him asking me whether I watch conspiracy theory videos on YouTube to him telling me that he nearly 'came to blows' with his brother-in-law over whether Auschwitz was what they say it is.

'He said "I've been", but - and I'm not saying I agree with it - actually you've seen some buildings and heard a story.'
'Well, yeah. I don't really watch them.'

:D

Reminds me of the first driving instructor I had. Turns out they have a cure for cancer and it’s sea salt. Yep, sea salt. He went on to explain that theres an Easten European dr that discovered it and put it on YouTube because the NHS et al were covering it up. I asked why the NHS would rather spend thousands on Chemo, Radiotherapy and aftercare than £3 on a salt shaker but he just explained about ‘big-pharma’.

I paid for 10 hours with that mental cunt.

[Kikó]

My dad's the same. Get a few beers into him and he turns into Konspiracy Kiko. It's so easy to make casual linkages to miss the actual corruption in the world. I should just tell him to pick up a copy of private eye if he fancies seeing "the truth".

[Giggles]

I'm probably going to the Brig o Tay for the game before Edinburgh later. It could have been a wonderful meet.

I'd love to see how that would go.

[Kikó]

I would as well tbh. Meeting waff and magic is on my bucket list.

[Lewis]

The SEETHE when Magic talks you into lending him a grand, only to sober up and realise you made the cheque out to 'Magic Johnson'.

[Kikó]

Tragic Custard moar like.

[igor_balis]

After making an absolute embarrassment of myself a couple of weekends ago, I haven't had a drop of booze since September. Easy enough as a pint of ale on a random Tuesday night at the pub in Rugby isn't exactly that tempting, but tonight will be my first challenge. Going to a few bars in Leicester with a couple of people I don't really know that well (including a girl I really fancy). Weird dynamic as she won't be drinking as she's driving, and the other guy is gonna be drinking. I'd feel bad for him if he was getting tanked solo, but would feel bad for girl if she had to babysit us both. And I'm not sure if I even want to drink. What do I do, lads?

[Magic]

Get tanked you wet used bit of toilet roll.

[Spikey M]

Go out with the mental Romanian you cunt.

[Magic]

I was near Rugby I should have met with Igor just to sniff good beard.

[Magic]

Sniff his beard. But both work.

[igor_balis]

Get tanked you wet used bit of toilet roll.

Good point. I think I'll take the safe option and just "have a few".

And Spikey M, she was never really fit enough to justify tolerating her insanity and no sex before marriage stance. Moved to Birmingham now, anyway.

[igor_balis]

I was near Rugby I should have met with Igor just to sniff good beard.

You can recreate the scent by throwing a load of coriander in an ashtray. Probably. Where were you?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You let THE ONE slip away.

The Romanian was brilliant.

[Magic]

You can recreate the scent by throwing a load of coriander in an ashtray. Probably. Where were you?

Aston.

[Lewis]

I wonder what Zimidy is up to these days.

[igor_balis]

You let THE ONE slip away.

The Romanian was brilliant.
I guess on one level I sort of admired the audacity of opining "I have finding dating hard in this country, my friend try make me go date with PAKISTANI, ugh, YUCK, can you believe?" about 5 minutes into our date.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How many Pakistanis have you dated yourself?

[Magic]

Was she 9?

[igor_balis]

How many Pakistanis have you dated yourself?

None but I really fancied my mate's Sri Lankan flatmate. Close enough, right? Also I'd probably fuck Misbah Ul Hak.

[Magic]

Sri Lankans their the cunts that are proper dark eh I'd imagine their poons to be like those endless crevasses in Iceland

[igor_balis]

Kerry Katona's septum?

[phonics]

Sri Lankans their the cunts that are proper dark eh I'd imagine their poons to be like those endless crevasses in Iceland

Sri Lankans aren't dark, you're thinking of Bangladeshis.

Edit: a quick google shows I'm wrong and I just went to school with a bunch of light skinned Sri Lankan's.

[niko_cee]

The Tamils are dark.

[Magic]

Phonics being wrong is as sure as day comes.

[Shindig]

I bought some pans today because my old ones had holes in them. Turns out they don't last forever.

[Mike]

I’m going seeing Greg Davies tonight. I’ve never seen a live stand up before.

[Adamski]

Sit at the front.

[Giggles]

Live comedy is good. Wouldn't normally do British comedians but I'd say Davies is funny.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've only been to one, Louis CK at the O2.

Didn't get to see him wank though.

[Baz]

I've only been to one, Louis CK at the O2.

Didn't get to see him wank though.I bet you haven’t, you just wanted to make use of the timing. :D

[Magic]

I’m going seeing Greg Davies tonight. I’ve never seen a live stand up before.

It's ok, can be reaaaaallllly hit or miss. There's nothing worse than being dragged to see some unfunny, wretched cunt to fulfil social obligations. It may well be the worst 2 hours of your life.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I bet you haven’t, you just wanted to make use of the timing. :D

I did.

I went a few years ago, it was pretty good.

I also saw Charlie Brooker getting a hot dog or something too.

[Mike]

It's ok, can be reaaaaallllly hit or miss. There's nothing worse than being dragged to see some unfunny, wretched cunt to fulfil social obligations. It may well be the worst 2 hours of your life.

The warm up act wasn’t great but Greg Davies was really funny, my face hurt from laughing!

[Spikey M]

You’re doing laughing wrong.

[Giggles]

Queenslander how strong is that Australian squad for tomorrow, or have they not really bothered with it again?



Australia: Brendon Goddard (Essendon), Eddie Betts (Adelaide), Ben Brown (North Melbourne), Travis Boak (Port Adelaide), Shaun Burgoyne (Hawthorn), Patrick Dangerfield (Geelong), Nat Fyfe (Fremantle), Jack Gunston (Hawthorn), Michael Hibberd (Melbourne), Neville Jetta (Melbourne), Rory Laird (Adelaide), Zach Merrett (Essendon), Scott Pendlebury (Collingwood), Paddy Ryder (Port Adelaide), Joel Selwood (Geelong), Luke Shuey (West Coast), Kade Simpson (Carlton), Rory Sloane (Adelaide), Robbie Tarrant (North Melbourne), Chad Wingard (Port Adelaide), Dayne Zorko (Brisbane).

Ireland: Aidan O’Shea (Mayo), Conor McManus (Monaghan), Niall Morgan (Tyrone), Chris Barrett (Mayo), Gary Brennan (Clare), Eoin Cadogan (Cork), Killian Clarke (Cavan), Peter Crowley (Kerry), Kevin Feely (Kildare), Paul Geaney (Kerry), Niall Grimley (Armagh), Pearce Hanley (Gold Coast), Brendan Harrison (Mayo), Michael Murphy (Donegal), Niall Murphy (Sligo), Paul Murphy (Kerry), Karl O’Connell (Monaghan), Sean Powter (Cork), Niall Sludden (Tyrone), Enda Smith (Roscommon), Conor Sweeney (Tipperary), Zach Tuohy (Geelong), Shane Walsh (Galway).

[Queenslander]

From my understanding it's serious team this year. But Im.massively out of the know with AFL at the moment so my Queensland perspective is pretty useless.

Ill have a quick look around for an educated opinion.

[Queenslander]

9 new faces. They are hoping to play a short running game.

Not too much written yet but if something pops up ill post here.

[Giggles]

Grand cheers. It means a 5am start here but I might get up for it. We're weak enough as no Dublin players joined the panel.

[Queenslander]

We have a new keeper which should make us vunerable. And I read a bit about not wanting to get caught up in a long ball game.

[Queenslander]

Giggles Check the AFL links. Both are from the 2 Victorian papers.

http://www.theage.com.au/afl

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl

[Shindig]

Walked into Tescos as the minute's silence was happening. Great.

[Giggles]

Walked into Tescos as the minute's silence was happening. Great.

Minutes silence in Tesco? Was it for a staff member or is it more poppy facism?

[Adamski]

It’s Armistice day.

[Spikey M]

Poppy Facism. For all it’s medicinal properties, by far the best thing about the poppy is it’s ability to wind people up, from Ireland to China.

[Adamski]

A minutes silence for a staff member :D

[Giggles]

A minutes silence for a staff member :D

Sports teams do that all the time.

[Shindig]

Nah, that'd be a minute's applause.

[Giggles]

Nah, that'd be a minute's applause.

Only very very recently.

[Giggles]

Giggles Check the AFL links. Both are from the 2 Victorian papers.

http://www.theage.com.au/afl

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl

Ireland need at least another couple of 6 pointers to stay in this as they're getting completely schooled now.

[Queenslander]

Ireland need at least another couple of 6 pointers to stay in this as they're getting completely schooled now.

Just flicked it over.

[Queenslander]

To be fair to Ireland they are playing in summer like conditions.

[Giggles]

Just flicked it over.

I was hoping they'd keep it to 10 to be in play for the next day. Just lucky Australia had two bad 1 pointer late to keep it at that.

[Queenslander]

I was hoping they'd keep it to 10 to be in play for the next day. Just lucky Australia had two bad 1 pointer late to keep it at that.

Was there any deadshit AFL behaviour?

[Giggles]

Was there any deadshit AFL behaviour?

Nothing really in it at all. Flowed well. That Fyffe guy is some fielder of a ball.

[Mike]

Went for a ‘quick pint’ with The Reid (hi Mike!)
I have my first hangover in months.

[Magic]

Minutes silence in Tesco? Was it for a staff member or is it more poppy facism?

People are going mental at the Chinese for having a DISRESPECTFUL sale called 'Singles Day' today.

[Offshore Toon]

That's so far down on the priority list when it comes to sorting out the Chinese.

[Giggles]

People are going mental at the Chinese for having a DISRESPECTFUL sale called 'Singles Day' today.

Was war day not yesterday? What's wrong with today?

[Spikey M]

Was war day not yesterday? What's wrong with today?

Yesterday was 11/11 (the eleventh hour, of the eleventh day, etc.) Today is Remembrance Sunday (the day the Queen and her crew go to the Cenotaph). It just so happens that they are on consecutive days this year.

[Giggles]

And what's the issue with a shop sale 8000 km away, or am I missing something with the 'singles' end of it?

[Spikey M]

No idea to be honest.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I was stuck in traffic caused by a walking parade for longer than I was actually in the shop today.

I'm all for remembering lads, but we've got a town square which can (and is, every Saturday) closed to cars. Do the parade/service there.

[Shindig]

Our main square's been taken over by a poncy light show.

[Dark Soldier]

Death by 40

https://i.imgur.com/e8uIFDL.jpg

[Raoul Duke]

DS :drool:

I've got some burger-based filth coming my way once the delivery guy shows up.

[John]

That pizza looks so small as to be pointless. Sixteen inch or order something else.

[Dark Soldier]

That pizza looks so small as to be pointless. Sixteen inch or order something else.

The fuck you chatting mate, I'm a glutton but anything above seven inch with the added glory of the fries and processed to feck chicken and I'd be Mr Creosote

[Jimmy Floyd]

I want all of those things, unless the things on the right are prawns (they look more like gloriously greasy chicken bits).

[Foe]

Do you manage to finish all that?

I made use of my slow cooker today for the first time in many months and inadvertently turned my silverside joint into effectively brisket. It was delicious nonetheless. Got a choc ice and some Fanta to finish it off because I'm a classy guy.

[Boydy]

DS :drool:

I've got some burger-based filth coming my way once the delivery guy shows up.

Your idea of burger-based filth is probably some posh London burger chain charging 15 quid for a burger with avocado on it.

[Giggles]

Your idea of burger-based filth is probably some posh London burger chain charging 15 quid for a burger with avocado on it.

With a portobello instead of the meat.

[Dark Soldier]

Do you manage to finish all that?

A few curly fries and a couple of chicken bites left over. Stuffed to fuck now, might start on the Haribo.

[John]

The fuck you chatting mate, I'm a glutton but anything above seven inch with the added glory of the fries and processed to feck chicken and I'd be Mr Creosote

Lightweight.

[Giggles]

I did 8 chicken pakoras, 2 onion bhajis, 3 veg pakoras, 2 veg samosas, 2 poppadoms, bag of chips, lamb curry, and a keema naan last night and still managed a double sausage and egg mcmuffin this morning :drool:

[Dark Soldier]

You don't look this damn sexy by over-facing yourself. Haribo was a mistake, however.

[Lewis]

I bought some salted caramel ice cream to share with the dog but it's marbled with chocolate so he can't have any lmao unlucky mate.

[Giggles]

Those chicken things look epic.

[Mike]

All that food looks amazing.

I got a drunk Indian take away last night. Finished it off for dinner today. Was amazing.

[phonics]

Buying ice cream to share with the dog is peak 'you need to move out your mums house' behavior.

[igor_balis]

i like ice cream

[Lewis]

He's had his other egg custard, so he's alright.

[Kikó]

I'm in Muscat waiting for a flight back to London after doing a weekend in Goa for my mates wedding. It was ridiculously good fun so I recommend making friends with an Indian.

I've had about 2 hours sleep since Thursday though and I think my bowels have given up.

[Shindig]

According to the road closures around the Lumiere event, I cannot escape town to go home for the entire weekend. Top job.

[Giggles]

They've blocked a town in?

[Shindig]

Nah, the council info on the road closures was very misleading. Implying the entire side of the river I was on was closed to pedestrians.

[Baz]

Tough weekend in-store, I fear, which could lead to a self implosion on Monday.

It’s my works Christmas party tonight but I’m not going. It’s in Bolton which is about an hours drive so either I’d have to not drink so I could drive, or pay over the top for a taxi. And not drinking really isn’t an option when they’re going watching a Take That tribute at the Macron stadium. Plus I’d have been the only bloke with eight women. No thanks.

So instead my wife has gone out for tea with some of her mates. She’s drove so won’t be having a drink, but I’d already volunteered myself for “night feeds” before finding this out. I shouldn’t moan really considered she does all the others, but it’s still not good. Hopefully the baby will sleep from six til one, have a bottle, then sleep from two til five - if not a bit later.

Problem is my wife’s then out all day tomorrow, going for a spa day with the same mates from tonight. And then after all day getting angry at a baby, I’m doing the night feeds again.

Thankfully Sunday is a day of good football and then an early night where I don’t have to do any of the night feeds and I’m going to Chester at 11am Monday for a whole day of drinking, eating and having fun in pubs and Christmas markets. Really can’t wait!

Tuesday shall be spent sorta hungover but I won’t care cos I’m off all week, wahoooo!

[phonics]

Baz' main complaint here seems to be hanging out with his own child for 36 hours.

[Giggles]

Yeah, it's not 1950.

[Baz]

Baz' main complaint here seems to be hanging out with his own child for 36 hours.On my own.

[Spikey M]

My Mrs is out for her Christmas do tomorrow and our little one is currently cutting 4 teeth and sleeping like an absolute bell end, so I feel your pain, Baz.

[Giggles]

Mine's on hers and I'm just waiting on the call that she'll make her own way home so I can open my beer.

[Shindig]

I tried to hold my little nephew the other day and he wasn't having it. To be fair, he'd not long woken up and he had no idea who I was.

[igor_balis]

It's our first festive 12 pubs tomorrow. The regular summer installment has been going for 4 years now, and from its humble beginnings as my mate, his brother and a couple of other weirdos I don't know traipsing around Rugby from alright pub to alright pub, it's grown to the 50 person behemoth we had this year. Not gonna be that good tomorrow because I'm running it as a non-canon spin off with begrudging endorsement from the main guy who has more mates and stuff. Should be alright, though. I'll bore you all with a few photos tomorrow. x

[Spikey M]

I tried to hold my little nephew the other day and he wasn't having it. To be fair, he'd not long woken up and he had no idea who I was.


Teenagers are wise to it these days.

[Giggles]

Teenagers are wise to it these days.
:D

[Waffdon]

First alcohol free weekend in what feels like years. I’ll probably shitebag it and be in the pub from 12 for the football on Sunday :(

[Magic]

Going to Inverness tomorrow for work do. Yes under 3ft of snow.

[Giggles]

First alcohol free weekend in what feels like years. I’ll probably shitebag it and be in the pub from 12 for the football on Sunday :(

Did you spend all your money on gear or something?

[Giggles]

Going to Inverness tomorrow for work do. Yes under 3ft of snow.

From everything you've said about your job I can only imagine that do will be horrendous. Sounds like a place they'll do a couple of beer tokens with only two choices to redeem them on.

[Waffdon]

Did you spend all your money on gear or something?

It’s December, init. I’ve stilk not bought presents and there’s about to be 10+ night outs from next week onwards.

Gear really isn’t that expensive when you know folk.

[Giggles]

I'm glad I don't.

[Waffdon]

£20 at mos if there’s a few of ye. Get onit, old man.

[Magic]

From everything you've said about your job I can only imagine that do will be horrendous. Sounds like a place they'll do a couple of beer tokens with only two choices to redeem them on.

Yep 3 tokens to spend on fucking Carling or Bacardi, a shitty free meal and a hotel room.

[Giggles]

Yep 3 tokens to spend on fucking Carling or Bacardi, a shitty free meal and a hotel room.

Free stay isn't bad going.

[Spikey M]

Carling is overpriced even when it’s free. Utter piss. Far worse than Fosters.

[Dave.]

Carling is overpriced even when it’s free. Utter piss. Far worse than Fosters.

100 times this.

[igor_balis]

12 pubs was not a great success on a personal level. Got to pub number 7 and was fucking trashed, and just backdoored it and went to bed. Was really good fun up to that point though and I think everyone else had fun.

[igor_balis]

Actually, the dreadful behaviour of my friend the previous weekend is probably worth repeating.

My mate (Friend A) invited me to his housewarming in London, and also invited my other mate (Friend B). They're not really friends with each other, but Friend B invited Friend A to his own Halloween party as one of the mass facebook invites and Friend A happened to be in the midlands so actually turned up, so invited back out of politeness, despite knowing him to be a bit of a liability. Friend B called his bluff basically, and I absolutely wouldn't have brought him along as a plus one.

Anyway, Friend B turns up at my house on Saturday morning to get the train absolutely reeking of booze, revealing he was still "half cut" from the night before. He garbled some excuse about having a stressful phone conversation with his brother's fiance or something, then I had to tell him he wasn't allowed "train beers". I quite sincerely told him Friend A wouldn't let him in his fucking flat if he turned up wasted, and I wasn't convinced drinking tinnies at midday still pissed from the night before was conducive to being a polite party guest.

Anyway, we arrive in London, and Friend B pissed off to meet some other London mates, and I hung out with Friend A and some other people.

It gets to 8PM, and there's about 8 of us at the party at this point, and I've fucked up a bit. I've had like 4 poncey ales from the Oddbins in Crouch End on an empty stomach and i'm starting to feel a bit tipsy. Friend B arrives and is actually really sober, really charming, and actually breaks the weird school disco male/female divide by going over and chatting and stuff that normal humans do. Thought "shit, maybe he'll be well behaved and I'll be the drunken idiot?" (spoiler alert - no).

Friend B brought 4 cans of Grolsch and a litre bottle of vodka. Trajectory of the evening not entirely surprising really. Was fine during the cans. Then he got into the vodka and it went really bad. I only remember bits and pieces because I was fairly drunk and trying to avoid him, but he:


kept inserting himself into ongoing conversations and trying to offer his own unsolicited opinions, or saying total bollocks like SOOOO err like ifya had to be...errr...an ANIMAL, what animal would you be yeah?
kept stealing the drinks of other party guests
got so creepy that a girl tried to poliely inform him that "you can't keep putting your arms around girls, they don't like it"
generally pissing everyone off so much that apparently Friend A spent the whole evening fielding questions along the lines of "what the fuck is wrong with that guy". one person apparently said something like "it is so uplifting seeing someone managing to go to a house party despite having learning difficulties"



The peak of the whole performance was at about 3am when everyone had gone home except me and Friend A sat chatting on the sofa next to a table full of half empty drinks, another guy asleep next to us, and Friend B asleep on an armchair in the opposite corner of the room. Friend B sorta woke up but not really, and in a drunken stupor/sleep walk, spent about 5 minutes putting his jacket on, staggered to his feet, stared at the two of us, before sorta lunging across the room, jumping through the fucking table knocking drinks flying, and landed face down on top of us on the sofa and immediately fell asleep.

The next morning he just started drunkenly chatting absolute bollocks to the other random guy (very polite and easy going, sorta like how I imagine Mike would be at a party stuck with a dickhead), and I just couldn't hack it so sat in the kitchen and tried to ignore it. The previously easy going lad, after about 30 minutes of being asked how he knew everyone at the party over and over again came through to the kitchen and mimed shooting himself in the head. The next two hours were spent with me, this guy, Friend A and Friend A's girlfriend trying to ignore Friend B, and figuring out what to do.

We'd decided to go to a cafe, get breakfast, then I'd take Friend B back to the midlands. Then suddenly the other guy came through from the kitchen and said "err, so, he's got into the vodka". Fucking twat had drank the remaining ~200ml of vodka he had from the night before, as well as some of Friend A's girlfriend's own personal stash. We didn't want to leave him alone in the flat, but also didn't want to take him to the cafe. In the end we basically told him he was a fucking mess and that he had to get a train home, and we'd walk via the tube station on the way to the cafe. Instead he simply refused to go home, and kept telling me to kill myself. He had the 3 bloody maries, paid the bill, then left. Thus ends my shit story.

Also the Friend A Friend B key was a bit weird but whatever.

[Lewis]

'Do you still keep in touch with Oggy?'

[igor_balis]

inb4 someone says he's an alcoholic and it's sad, he's not and it isn't. he can go weeks without drinking, he's just really shit at it.

[Giggles]

I'd cut him lose. He might not be an alcoholic but he sounds like a fucking dose.

[Disco]

Before I make a decision on whose side I'm on in this I need to know if the person using the word 'uplifting' was being serious or ironic.

[igor_balis]

Before I make a decision on whose side I'm on in this I need to know if the person using the word 'uplifting' was being serious or ironic.

i was paraphrasing, they might have said "inspiring" for all i know. the way it was relayed to me it was totally sincere, though.

[Spikey M]

i was paraphrasing, they might have said "inspiring" for all i know. the way it was relayed to me it was totally sincere, though.

Well, atleast Friend B isn’t the worst person in the story. Welcome to London.

[Spikey M]

Also, If I had to be an Animal - it’d be some rich families dog. A house dog, that is, not one with Kennels.

[Kikó]

Sounds like he's the only one who knows how to party.

[Baz]

What a lad.

[Lewis]

I went through the wrong doors at Heron and inadvertently stopped three Waff-types pinching armfuls of selection boxes. They walked into me, and I just stood there because I'm not going to move for some dweebs, but then they started putting them back before skulking out all red-faced. lol at them, and lol at me not thinking quickly enough to pretend I meant it and getting my sweets for free.

[igor_balis]

Hanging out my arse after a surprisingly fun work outing last night. 6 of us; me, four other 20-somethings, and the mum of one of the girls. Just got smashed and bitched about colleagues and the mum embarrassing her daughter with really gross sex stories. Good stuff.

[Giggles]

I've just been given a tab ticket. Let the games begin

[Giggles]

Oh mother of the sweet divine Jesus the hangover. I ate a fry 20 minutes ago and I don't remember one bit of it.

[Waffdon]

I went through the wrong doors at Heron and inadvertently stopped three Waff-types pinching armfuls of selection boxes. They walked into me, and I just stood there because I'm not going to move for some dweebs, but then they started putting them back before skulking out all red-faced. lol at them, and lol at me not thinking quickly enough to pretend I meant it and getting my sweets for free.

Fuck up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was in Guildford to Christmas shop, and I saw some bloke give 40 quid to a pair of buskers playing flamenco guitar (they were brilliant, but still). I then got back home and someone had parked straight across the drive so I couldn't go in. I stopped at the end of the road, waited for her to come back and gave her the full Alex Ferguson, although slightly reined in because it was a black woman and I didn't want someone to be secretly filming from an upstairs window and then releasing it on YouTube as RACIST SHAME OF HOME COUNTIES: BLACK WOMAN ABUSED BY PRIVILEGED DRIVE-HAVING BREXIT VOTER.

[igor_balis]

Hey lads it's my birthday today. Me and my good female friend who I was shagging last year went to see my mate's band play at some sketchy pub last night. The band played in front of a bunch of tables and chairs which gave it a real Phoenix Nights vibe which I appreciated. Got a blowjob last night and this morning from aforementioned lady as well. Solid birthday so far.

[Kikó]

She's a good female friend.

[Waffdon]

JUst a blowjob? What’s the point?

[Giggles]

JUst a blowjob? What’s the point?

For her maybe. He gets the same result, just cleaner.

[igor_balis]

She's a good female friend.

Yeah I phrased that a bit weirdly, didn't I? She is though, and not just for the occasional drunken blowjobs.

[-james-]

I'm in Greece with my parents until next weekend.

My brother is meant to be flying over with his girlfriend tomorrow. He's being evasive and I'm suddenly concerned he's not going to show up.

If he does make it, it's going to be four days of him and my dad shouting at each other. Happy happy joy joy.

[-james-]

Went out last night, and got home at about four. There was still barely a table to be had anywhere when I left.

η φτώχεια θέλει καλοπέραση, as they say.

[Kikó]

Ended up in meat liquor for dinner last night with a few mates (horrendous cuisine really) then in the pub we met a couple of others who I haven't seen in ages. Classic descent into hell and leaving their house at 4am. So much for a lie in this weekend.

[Giggles]

First humanist wedding I was ever at today. Nice short ceremony.

[Baz]

My mates 30th weekend celebrations (although he had a surprise party last weekend) have resulted in his wife booking zorb/bubble football and put me in charge of sorting it out. Managed to get twelve players, including the birthday boy himself (http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?968-Everyone-should-order-some-TTH-cards-to-leave-in-places&p=79498&viewfull=1#post79498), our Mike, forum favourite Tom (http://www.youtube.com/embed/IbTIfZ22hQM?rel=0&autoplay=1), Mike's fancy man (http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?968-Everyone-should-order-some-TTH-cards-to-leave-in-places&p=79584&viewfull=1#post79584) and a few others (http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?62-Post-A-Pic-O-Yersel-(The-Mugshot-Thread)&p=95842&viewfull=1#post95842).

Obviously gonna knock everyone out cos I'm solid.

Most of us have played it before. The birthday boy hasn't.

Here's a video:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D331wAfpSck

Then we're going out drinking and watching football in pubs.

[Kikó]

From what I've heard, zorb is not only shit, it's dangerous.

[Baz]

It’s okay once. But been there done that.

Last time a 20 stone white Akinfenwa was playing. Thankfully he’s not part of this group.

[Mike]

I am looking forward to an afternoon in the pub. The Zorb bit and the feeling like I was in a car crash on Sunday I can do without. Going to announce my Zorb retirement after tomorrow.

[Dark Soldier]

Listening to Noel Edmond's anti-Lloyds radio station which is on a loop. It is the most Alan Partridge real world moment ever

http://edge01.media.positivityradio.world:8081/positively/noel64/icecast.audio

[Baz]

One of our lads got (Tom, and all,) got fucking Bitch slapped out of nowhere. His brother had the chance to glass the fucker straight off the bat but decided against it. A massive argument later we managed tonescape th pub unscathed but it was a proper dickhead move. I wouldn’t be surprised if the local rugby team went there next week for a pint and a fight next weekend.

Pa I’m drunk but. More pissed off than annoyed

[igor_balis]

Went to see comedian John Robbins last night, he was very good. Afterwards I got pissed for the first time since new years, and also for the first time since I packed in smoking and I managed to resist temptation!! Only just - I got to the stage of actually having a fag in my mouth (hello), but I didn't light it. Tobacco can suck my chode.

[-james-]

I'm not drinking this month. Will be the first time I've done something of the sort in the best part of a decade.

I'm not sure I'm up to it, quite frankly.

[Foe]

I'm not drinking this month. Will be the first time I've done something of the sort in the best part of a decade.

I'm not sure I'm up to it, quite frankly.

Score some class A's off your bruv instead.

sorry, that's horrible. Good luck - at least you picked a short month.

[Baz]

Spending the day in the pub with Groundsman Dave and Mike, cos it was my dads birthday recently.

[igor_balis]

I know it technically isn't the weekend, but I've got my rostered day off because of working Saturday, so it's like a mini-weekend for me.

Anyway, my good pal has recently moved back to Rugby from London for 6 months or so while his girlfriend does some internship in California (he's obviously the lucky one). I'm glad he has, because he's just about the only person in the World who would think this is a productive way to spend a day - he's well into sport, but has never really been exposed to cricket, so we're going to spend the day drinking cheap Polish lager and watching the 2005 Ashes series DVD boxset, as I attempt to offer insightful analysis, explain what the corridor of uncertainty is, and try to make him understand why that absurd McGrath spell at Lords is still a thing of beauty despite being a dedicated Pommy cunt.

[igor_balis]

I anticipate passing out about halfway through the Trent Bridge test, or he'll get bored and try to make me watch Stop Making Sense again.

[Giggles]

Long weekend :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I know it technically isn't the weekend, but I've got my rostered day off because of working Saturday, so it's like a mini-weekend for me.

Anyway, my good pal has recently moved back to Rugby from London for 6 months or so while his girlfriend does some internship in California (he's obviously the lucky one). I'm glad he has, because he's just about the only person in the World who would think this is a productive way to spend a day - he's well into sport, but has never really been exposed to cricket, so we're going to spend the day drinking cheap Polish lager and watching the 2005 Ashes series DVD boxset, as I attempt to offer insightful analysis, explain what the corridor of uncertainty is, and try to make him understand why that absurd McGrath spell at Lords is still a thing of beauty despite being a dedicated Pommy cunt.

Don't think there is any higher form of living than this.

[Magic]

I had Friday off, once the kid was shipped off to school I went back to bed and slept until 1pm, then played CoD until I had to pick her up at half 4 from dancing. What a day.

[Kikó]

I'm waiting to find out if my game is on today or whether the weather calls another one. If I'm playing it's at the great football pitches in the centre of London that are on the honourable artillery corp barracks.

[Giggles]

Afternoon pubbing today but it's going to be a bollix trying to find one showing the club football and hurling finals instead of the egg chasing. What time is that on at anyway?

[igor_balis]

Don't think there is any higher form of living than this.

It was great until about 9pm (fifth test). I'm the kind of person who gets more sociable after 4 or 5 pints, but by the 8th I just want to be on my own, whereas my mate is a chatterbox at the best of times, but just progressively gets louder and more chatty with no sign of it ending. By the end conversation was essentially:

"BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH?"
"...huh, yeah..."
"BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! BLAH, BLAH? BLAH!"
"...yeah".

etc

Still easily the best way I've used a midweek day off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm waiting to find out if my game is on today or whether the weather calls another one. If I'm playing it's at the great football pitches in the centre of London that are on the honourable artillery corp barracks.

I did outdoor pre season cricket earlier, anyone who calls a football game off in this is a pussy.

[mo]

Migraine. Waste of a Saturday.

[Giggles]

Full as a box of tyres.

[Magic]

Empty in the middle?

[Giggles]

Soon.

[Kikó]

I did outdoor pre season cricket earlier, anyone who calls a football game off in this is a pussy.

Most of the fixtures were called. The season's being smashed by the snow and rain.

Great playing in central London though:
https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/29313025_10155064171116805_8330731264474482249_n.j pg?oh=d147f0cb3164dcfbd0779ba4c3eddb19&oe=5B43EF17

[Lewis]

Spot of impromptu Bez dancing for the camera.

[Giggles]

That looks like lower than shit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I've got Rick Stein's beef vindaloo marinating in the fridge for tomorrow :drool:

[Magic]

It sums meathead up, doing something completely unnecessary just for the sake of a pretentious photograph to say OMG HOW COOL AM I.

[Kikó]

:confused: what?

[Lewis]

I referred to a 'Viking helmet' in the York sword shop earlier, and one of the Randrews started lecturing me in his outdoor voice that Viking helmets never had horns on. I know that mate, but everyone knows what 'Viking helmet' means, so I'm not going to ask how much the nineteenth century operatic recreations of... Anyway, all of his divvy colleagues started joining in the lolling, so I asked about this three hundred quid Warcraft hammer (in a section clearly marked out as Warcraft shit) but called it 'Thor's hammer', and I think at least two of them are dead.

York really has got the shittest pubs possible to say lots of people visit. They all stink of piss.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I went to a Polish restaurant today. Pretty standard food but they did have ridiculously loud live music by a guy on a keyboard and his bald mate with an electric drum kit who was imitating Louis Armstrong.

An alarming amount of people 'hit the dance-floor' when they did an instrumental version of Despacito.

[Magic]

It's 3am and I'm stuck in a weird couple's house they are begging us to stay but I don't want to but it's been so persistent it's now really awkward and has ruined the night. Desperate to leave.

[-james-]

:naughty:

[Magic]

Still here. Hearing the blokes concerns about marriage (they're engaged). My advice was don't do it now let me go ffs.

[Magic]

Yes got out.

[Spikey M]

Weeding the front garden, putting down some anti weed mesh and sticking some slate down on top of it today. Then washing the car. Fun.

[Giggles]

Weeding the front garden, putting down some anti weed mesh and sticking some slate down on top of it today. Then washing the car. Fun.

That's why I hate the good weather arriving. First lawnmower I hear every year sends shivers down me.

The only reason I'd ever want to own a house is so I could concrete every inch of the yard.



.

[Mike]

Last night myself, Baz and our friend Andy went to our friend Tom's (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?967-I-m-Going-On-A-Stag-Do-With-Some-quot-Rugby-Lads-quot&highlight=rugby) house to play on his Christmas present from his wife, his PS1. We played Micro Machines, PGA Tour '96 and Hogs of War. It was a boss evening. We're all going to the pub next Saturday for an afternoon of drinking having labelled ourselves the breakaway group from our larger group of friends who never come to anything.

[-james-]

The clocks going forward is one of the best days of the year. I'm quite sure I'll be in a better average mood for the next six months than I was during the last six.

[Giggles]

Hopefully this will be one of the last times we do the time change.

[Shindig]

I didn't even realise until an hour ago. Explains why I still feel knackered despite extra time in bed.

[Giggles]

I didn't even realise until an hour ago. Explains why I still feel knackered despite extra time in bed.

You had less time in the bed.

[Danny]

That really explains it

[phonics]

I haven't got any plans but I'm just posting to say my four day weekend starts in 2 minutes :drool:

[Giggles]

Mine already started at 6pm. First ever good Friday that the pubs can open here but nearly all the ones I know aren't bothering, so tomorrow will be a few in the house.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I have family dinners on Saturday and Sunday before going to 'Murica on Monday.

[Baz]

Planned to go the pub today with Mike and two mates, a few weeks ago (3 of us have a kid so gotta plan our fun nowadays) and just by chance there’s a frickin’ mini beer festival on there today. :youpi: Awesome.

So gonna chow down on a foot long subway (what’s the best bread and sauce? I get turkey & ham with “everything apart from tomatoes” but never know about the other two bits. Cheese and toasted is a must, obv) and watch Liverpool smash Palace at Mikes, then walk to pub and drink all the beers. Then possibly walk to another pub (real ale, but sadly no festival) to watch Everton smash City (one mate sold his Everton season ticket to come, cos Sigurdsson got injured) before going home to rest and drink alkaseltzer.

[Spikey M]

Anyone that doesn’t get a foot long BMT, herb and cheese bread, all salad (no olives) and Chipotle sauce is a deviant.

[Baz]

Herb and cheese, chipotle sauce. Noted. :thbup:

And no olives? Mad man. They’re all black ones too, none of the pesky green ones. Olives are probably the best bit!

[Mike]

Turkey and Ham on Italian with lettuce and cucumber with chipotle sauce. Cheese and toasted.

Sometimes meatballs instead of the turkey and ham.

[Mike]

Ohh and my Day is the same as Baz, only I’ll be drinking lovely later instead of those pints of disappointment he gets.

[Boydy]

I was gonna say the best sauce is Southwest then I looked at the Subway website and it's the same as the 'chipotle' you lot are going on about. Who the fuck calls it 'chipotle' and not Southwest? Fools.

I've not had a Subway in ages but I really want one now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I go for chicken teriyaki on herb on cheese bread. Spicy cheese and toasted with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, gherkins, olives and chillies. Southwest sauce obvs.

[Foe]

Ohh and my Day is the same as Baz, only I’ll be drinking lovely later instead of those pints of disappointment he gets.

Steak and cheese, toasted, with red onion, lettuce, cucumber and southwest sauce. Hearty italian bread is the obvious choice.

:drool:

[Giggles]

I was gonna say the best sauce is Southwest then I looked at the Subway website and it's the same as the 'chipotle' you lot are going on about. Who the fuck calls it 'chipotle' and not Southwest? Fools.

I've not had a Subway in ages but I really want one now.

Have you heard the word for the first time or something? Chipotle is a very common name.

[Giggles]

Italian herb and cheese bread for me with steak, spicy cheese, tomatoes, jalapenos, and whichever sauce I fancy at the time. Mostly ranch or honey mustard.

[SvN]

I get Steak & Cheese on wheat bread. Chicken Pizziola is nice too.

[Disco]

I like a Subway every once in a while, Italian BMT or a Melt normally.

[Boydy]

Have you heard the word for the first time or something? Chipotle is a very common name.

No, I mean specifically in reference to the subway sauce. I've never heard anyone refer to it as chipotle before. Only southwest.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

No, I mean specifically in reference to the subway sauce. I've never heard anyone refer to it as chipotle before. Only southwest.

They changed the name to chipotle in Subway's here. I still call it Southwest when I go though.

[Giggles]

It's Chipotle here too.

[Boydy]

They changed the name to chipotle in Subway's here. I still call it Southwest when I go though.

I've not been in one in about three years, tbf.

[Danny]

We went to Subway on so many college away trips I cant even look at the place anymore.

When I was back I England I would get the BMT on Herb and Cheese with Hot Chili Sauce on it. Over here I would get Oil and Vinegar or Chipotle Southwest on the same sandwich.

[Giggles]

The factories that make the meat for Subway are absolutely rank

[Disco]

You could insert basically any fast food outlet into that sentence.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's well known that KFC chips are at least 70% cardboard.

[Giggles]

You could insert basically any fast food outlet into that sentence.

There's a world of difference to McDonalds anyway. Their places are spotless.

[Disco]

Which makes it an achievement that their food is exponentially shitter.

[Giggles]

Which makes it an achievement that their food is exponentially shitter.

There's very little shit about it, it's just bang average like all those places. The main thing it has over all the rest is the consistency. Their whole model is built for it and it really works.

[Jimmy Floyd]

McDonald's these days is a tip top operation, at least in the UK.

[Boydy]

McDonald's is brilliant for what it is.

[Magic]

Subway is bloody terrible.

[Pepe]

If what McDonalds 'is' is absolutely disgusting food then yes, it is brilliant at it.

I haven't had Subway in a long time. The putrid smell in the building on campus that houses one makes me want to never go there again.

[Giggles]

If what McDonalds 'is' is absolutely disgusting food then yes, it is brilliant at it.

I haven't had Subway in a long time. The putrid smell in the building on campus that houses one makes me want to never go there again.

It's not disgusting, you ponce.

[Lewis]

You have to keep McDonald's simple. Anything more complicated than the plain cheeseburger is asking for it.

[Shindig]

All fast food is that, to me. I might never visit a Taco Bell but I know they just rearrange the same three ingredients across their menu. They know what's up.

[Foe]

We went to Subway on so many college away trips I cant even look at the place anymore.

When I was back I England I would get the BMT on Herb and Cheese with Hot Chili Sauce on it. Over here I would get Oil and Vinegar or Chipotle Southwest on the same sandwich.

The american's are brutal.

It was a terrible day when I realised that Domino's in American has about 10 sauces available, none of which are the herb dip we get over here.

It was a very upsetting day.

[Danny]

All fast food is that, to me. I might never visit a Taco Bell but I know they just rearrange the same three ingredients across their menu. They know what's up.

Great drunk food :nod:


The american's are brutal.

It was a terrible day when I realised that Domino's in American has about 10 sauces available, none of which are the herb dip we get over here.

It was a very upsetting day.

I dont think I had ever ordered Domino's at home. I always went local for Pizza.

[Giggles]

I'll never bother with Dominoes unless they close up the pizza hut up the road.

[-james-]

Polished off most of my easter egg and half a bottle of wine while playing around with my Italian third division model. What a night.

[Giggles]

Playing around with your what?

[-james-]

I'm glad you asked


https://i.imgur.com/muh edge.png

[Giggles]

I can't really see them on my phone, but anyway.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ah, a man who appreciates the value of colour scaling.

We should be nicely into 1-1 season in that part of the football world now.

[Magic]

If it isn't your job to know Excel that well then you're a sad cunt.

[Boydy]

Can you explain some of what's going on there, dino?

[-james-]

If it isn't your job to know Excel that well then you're a sad cunt.

We're all sad cunts.



Can you explain some of what's going on there, dino?


Top left is a league table. There's traditional stats as well as xG for/against which is a measure of quality of chance creation. xGR is a measure of a team's tendency to dominate a game. Trapani and Akragas, who are top and bottom of the league, are also the best and worst sides in the leagues by that metric. It implies that Cosenza are better than their actual position, and Rende are a fair bit worse than their's. It's the same idea as this (https://understat.com/league/EPL) one for the premier league.

The stuff on the right is mostly for visualising other data for an individual fixture in further detail. Form and the like.

Whether or not this all works for rubbish leagues remains to be seen.

[Lewis]

Speak for yourself spreadsheet boy.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Who is compiling xG for those games? Are there even cameras at the ground?

[Lewis]

The mafia.

[-james-]

There's footage available for all games I think. The xG is based on shot location data. It's rudimentary, but not widely available.

[AyDee]

xG. :alan:

[Magic]

Does this enable you to do decent bets?

[-james-]

Does this enable you to do decent bets?

That's the idea but in reality it's all lotto shite.

[Kikó]

Subway is shit. Really shit.

[igor_balis]

snogged my mate's sister last night

[Lewis]

My cousin's dickhead kid is sleeping over, and the little prick has brought a Mr Bean DVD. Not only that, but it's one with the hotel episode and the DIY episode. :cool:

[Lewis]

It's mad to think that Mr Bean could get up to all these wacky antics on the high street back then without someone chucking acid in his face or running a terror cell out of his boarding house.

[Magic]

It was before that Labour government. Safer days.

[Lewis]

He lives in Highbury, which is pretty plush isn't it? He wouldn't be able to leave the house for moped gangs these days.

[Kikó]

I wouldn't call deliveroo a gang tbh.