What shall your weekend bring?

[SvN]

We've talked about Cards Against Humanity before. It's complete wank. Structured banter, delightful.


Yeah it's shit. My 19 year old nephew thinks it's the best thing ever, so tries to force us all to play whenever we get together.

[Mazuuurk]

Probably do fuck all this weekend. Tonight a short After Work then chill with the family, order in some food and play Pillars of Eternity.

Probably the same on saturday. Maybe visit an aquarium with the lad, or something. Fucking boring with no Premier league on.

[SvN]

I've got my first free weekend in about 3 months, and there's no football on. Typical.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I walked from my flat in Leeds to my parents' house in Sheffield yesterday. Aching now.

It only took me 13 hours and I saved £11.

Fuck you, Northern Rail!

Lots of time for that. You probably had to clamber over bails of hay and piles of flat caps that had fallen off the back of lorries as well.

[John]

Lol at that. Hammer was just moaning the other day that there wasn't enough time in the week as well.

[phonics]

Cards Against Humanity isn't shit, you just play shit shit people. Most people just can't deliver comedy so it's just a bunch of hitler jokes told in a monotone voice.

[John]

If you're with funny people all it's doing is stifling that humour because you're stuck with whatever comes up, so it's restrictive and shit. If you're with unfunny people it's the Hitler and dead baby jokes.

It's April Fool's Day all over again.

[Spammer]

My placement starts next week so it was my last Thursday off.

[Spammer]

As for Cards Against Humanity - it's what you make of it. If people enjoy it, what's the problem?

I've played it with shit people and it hasn't been as good, but generally I've had a really good laugh with it.

[John]

As for Cards Against Humanity - it's what you make of it. If people enjoy it, what's the problem?

I've played it with shit people and it hasn't been as good, but generally I've had a really good laugh with it.

What the fuck is that? Have you read some hidden post where someone said it should be banned?

[Spammer]

People have moaned about it a couple of times. I just don't understand why people even pay attention to it if they don't like it.

[John]

Lewis mentioned it because he'd been playing it that night, and other people who've played it chimed in with their opinions on it. What point are you even making up there? Don't call something shit if other people might like it?

[Spammer]

I'm not sure if it's that important.

Slow day?

[Adamski]

John needs his hole stat.

[Mike]

After a summer of stag dos, weddings and trips to London, tomorrow I am off to a 50th :D

[John]

I'm not sure if it's that important.

Slow day?

So you don't know what point you're making either? That's fine.


John needs his hole stat.

My hole stat is fine, Mert.

[Adamski]

I missed a comma. Should have been hole, stat.

As in statim, Latin for immediately.

[bruhnaldo]

He knows.

[igor_balis]

I mostly agree with John on cards against humanity. With idiots it is always going to be relentless shit. I don't think it is totally pointless with funny decent people, but not much shelf life. I would happily play it once with a decent group and have absolutely no intention of touching it again.

[Spoonsky]

We went to a board game pub in Montreal. It blew my mind because I do that with my friends in Utah anyways, except with a few cans of Polygamy Porter instead of fancy cocktails, but I'd never thought about monetizing it.

I've been donning my friends at Stratego lately. Probably the best board game.

[mugbull]

Egyptian War m8. Slap each other all night long

[igor_balis]

I got really into board games for about 6 months and then I lost all interest.

[Shindig]

Reviewing the WWI online-focused videogame that's out that isn't Battlefield. Our editor's talking with the metacritic bloke on Wednesday. I mean, he won't budge but at least he's in touch.

[mugbull]

You do game reviews Shin?

[John]

Won't budge on what?

[Shindig]

We've been after metacritic status for a while and, as a result, we've been hitting social media quite a bit. We're doing fine with the indies without it but metacritic status would open some doors at the bigger companies for review codes and such.

[Giggles]

Picked up a ticket this morning for the hurling later. First final I'll ever have made it to, never thought I'd ever see one in the flesh.

[GS]

It's nice that they've given you day release so you can go.

[Giggles]

It's nice that they've given you day release so you can go.

That was hilarious. And for you I'm not even joking.

[Lewis]

My cousin has left her four year old with us, and he's still a prick.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Knock him out.

[Lewis]

I said to my mother that it would be easy to get away with chinning him, because 1) why would I flatten a four year old; and 2) why would you believe him over me? I appreciate that that is classic nonce logic, but that doesn't mean it is completely without merit.

[igor_balis]

Yesterday was the last night out for the bird i've been seeing before she goes on her travels. Sort of appropriate that we spent our last day (quite likely EVER) in a romantic context just groaning and being hungover.

[Mazuuurk]

Probably do fuck all this weekend. Tonight a short After Work then chill with the family, order in some food and play Pillars of Eternity.

Probably the same on saturday. Maybe visit an aquarium with the lad, or something. Fucking boring with no Premier league on.

Ended the After Work on friday with some beastly 8.5% beer. After that I ordered in burgers and since the lady didn't want hers, I ate two, and a bunch of chips obviously. Safe to say I was a little downed by that, so when I put the lad to sleep I fell asleep myself for a bit, and when I managed to get up at like 22.30 there was no going back. Really wanted to play some games, but had to go to bed like an old man. Soon I'll start to fall asleep on the couch, beer in hand, as well.

[Ian]

Going for my first visit to Alton Towers at the weekend. I've never been on a proper rollercoaster before. No idea how much of a coward I'm going to be.

Think I'll give Smiler a swerve.

[Mike]

Go on everything and don't hold on.

[wullie]

I remember going on the Shockwave at Drayton Manor and not being able to understand why nobody else on the ride was relieved it was all over.

[igor_balis]

i'm fucking terrified of rollercoasters :(

[Boydy]

Yeah, fuck rollercoasters.

[Raoul Duke]

Rollercoasters are great, you beta cuck pussies

(except when they're run by carnies and/or malfunction and sever your legs)

[Disco]

I've always been fine with fairground rides and rollercoasters but the last time I went on the waltzers there were a few moments where it really was a bit much.

[Magic]

I've come to realise I'm fucking terrified of heights on behalf of my child thanks to Liveleak.

[Ian]

Go on everything and don't hold on.

Held on. We didn't really get a full day there because we drove down this morning but went on most of the main ones I think, at least the ones I'd heard of (Smiler, Nemesis, Oblivion, Galactica*, Thi3teen.)

I certainly didn't hate any of it but nor do I get the buzz out of it that other people seem to where they come off and clearly have the adrenaline going.

It's also a fucking expensive day out when you spend an hour queueing for something that's over in about two inutes.

Unsure whether I'd go again or not.

[Lewis]

I ordered a burger yesterday that came with chips and coleslaw; but, because coleslaw is wank, I - against my mother's advice - successfully asked them to swap it for some extra chips. On a scale of Jeremy Corbyn to Jesus, how much of a balls-out revolutionary am I?

[Giggles]

Getting extra chips in place of sloppy grated vegetables is some good work.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I certainly didn't hate any of it but nor do I get the buzz out of it that other people seem to where they come off and clearly have the adrenaline going.

I am mystified by this too. There are quite a lot of people who come off a three minute rollercoaster or ride and look/act like they've just had a marathon night with *insert whoever the current sex goddess is as I don't know or care*.

[Lewis]

Getting extra chips in place of sloppy grated vegetables is some good work.

I asked for extra cream on some waffle thing the other week, and the teenage girl making it said 'Of course you can' as if I was a mong child asking for a balloon. I think that might be the secret to success.

[Raoul Duke]

There's quite a lot of research around just asking people for shit and them being compliant - like asking for 10% off something you're buying (if it's kinda expensive). Mostly, it's worth a punt and the worst they'll do is make you pay the actual price.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There's quite a lot of research around just asking people for shit and them being compliant - like asking for 10% off something you're buying (if it's kinda expensive). Mostly, it's worth a punt and the worst they'll do is make you pay the actual price.

I tried that with a mechanic once.

'Fuck off mate, you wouldn't ask for a discount at Sainsburys'

:(

[Magic]

It's our anniversary today and the bitch has booked herself and her mother a spa day. Best anniversary ever. :drool:

[Shindig]

Giving you plenty of time to sort out her surprise, naturally.

[Giggles]

Go out now for the day without saying and leave the kid with her to fuck up her plans.

[Baz]

Was working yesterday (in bloody Shrewsbury) and today I'm staying in waiting for a parcel. It's not even for me.

Luckily I've got MOTD, then boxing, then UFC to watch. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I tried that with a mechanic once.

'Fuck off mate, you wouldn't ask for a discount at Sainsburys'

:(

Yesterday I was in a 9am Tesco queue behind a man unsuccessfully asking for a discount on a 4 pack of Magners, so it clearly does happen.

[Shindig]

Two years' worth of reviews all redone for the site overhaul. Man, my old ones are terrible.

[igor_balis]

Spent the evening with an old friend. She's just moved to Birmingham, so we went Wagamama, to some gin place and then I crashed at her place. It was reasonably good fun, but I'm always exhausted after too long in her company because she's a bit mental. She's really tactless and oblivious so I end up really forcing myself to just let stuff slide I'd get pissed off about from anyone else.

I also really want to fuck her and can't quite figure out if it is mutual because of her giving out weird mixed signals, which is also quite tiring.

[Spammer]

I'm in London for the next 3 hours waiting for my coach back home. Any suggestions for shit to do? Anyone around fancy going for a pint?

[Baz]

I'm in Salisbury. There are Pokestops everywhere!

Off to Stonehenge in a bit.

What else should I do?

[Giggles]

I'm in Salisbury. There are Pokestops everywhere!

Off to Stonehenge in a bit.

What else should I do?

Hmmmmm.

[Magic]

Sitting in a huge freezing gym hall for twisting tots with a bunch of mums who all know each other at one side and me and a mid-40s dad on the other side at opposite ends of the bench. :D

[Giggles]

You've your kid in a gym? Are you preparing her for prison or something? It doesn't happen all Scots you know.

[Magic]

It's dancing you fud.

[Spammer]

Off for an evening with the Chuckle Brothers on Thursday :cool:. They're turning up at a church in town to talk about their careers. Should be really interesting actually.

[mo]

I'm in Salisbury. There are Pokestops everywhere!

Off to Stonehenge in a bit.

What else should I do?

This is becoming disconcerting - you're a bit too close to my neck of the woods for my liking, and you turned up in my 'people you might know' thing on Facebook.

[Baz]

This is becoming disconcerting - you're a bit too close to my neck of the woods for my liking, and you turned up in my 'people you might know' thing on Facebook.Send me a friend request. I'm trying to get to 100.http://i.imgur.com/fV8iTYt.jpg

[mo]

Send me a friend request. I'm trying to get to 100.http://i.imgur.com/fV8iTYt.jpg

Nah, you're alright :thbup:

[Giggles]

That was the tits in every way :chief:


782295982105124864

[Shindig]

Just chatted to the lass upstairs for the first time. Dutch. Seems nice.

[Spikey M]

I'm having a fucking awesome weekend. Spent the day at a family party for my wifes Nans birthday. She is gloriously old. The highlight of the day being her saying 'He was coloured but he was really nice' and 'He had to repeat himself a few times because of his accent' (a black Dr from Bury St Edmunds).

The in laws have got my daughter tonight so I am now in the bath with a bottle of Poachers Choice.

Tomorrow we head up to Stanstead to stay at a Premier Inn as we fly out on Monday.

[Dquincy]

I'm having a fucking awesome weekend. Spent the day at a family party for my wifes Nans birthday. She is gloriously old. The highlight of the day being her saying 'He was coloured but he was really nice' and 'He had to repeat himself a few times because of his accent' (a black Dr from Bury St Edmunds).

The in laws have got my daughter tonight so I am now in the bath with a bottle of Poachers Choice.

Tomorrow we head up to Stanstead to stay at a Premier Inn as we fly out on Monday.

Bath lover are you? Don't you get bored...what do you do in there?

I went to water babies today. Asked me to leave when they realised I didn't have a baby.

[Baz]

Nah, you're alright :thbup::( I'd probably accept you. I don't have any Ian's on there.

Have you ever been to the Haunch of Venison pub in Salisbury? Genuinely one of the top five pubs I've ever been in, and I've been in quite a lot. Such an ace place.

[Spikey M]

Bath lover are you? Don't you get bored...what do you do in there?

I went to water babies today. Asked me to leave when they realised I didn't have a baby.

Didn't used to but it's a great time out these days. Moving, decorating, taking on more responsibility at work and having an 8 month old has nearly killed me this month.

[Waffdon]

On my way to Edinburgh to get shitfaced and then leaving for Prague at 06.30 also from Edinburgh. Mon the sesh

[Dquincy]

Didn't used to but it's a great time out these days. Moving, decorating, taking on more responsibility at work and having an 8 month old has nearly killed me this month.

Ah, a bit of 'you' time. Nice.

I've got a 3 1/2 month od. He slept in his own cot for the first time last night. It went very well right up until the point he defecated over himself at 3am. Proper explosion in his nappy. We had to change his PJs completely, so he thought it was play time at 3am... and then the next 4 hrs were a blurred. :(

[Adamski]

A bath is fantastic. Midweek iPad champions league bathing is unrivalled.

Our daughter has just had her first sleepover away that didn't involve us going out drinking.

That feeling waking up this morning :drool:

Breakfast in bed, papers and coffee :cool:

[Kikó]

I've come round to baths. They're good lazy features of modern life.

[igor_balis]

met a young lady last night, drank some whisky beforehand to ease my nerves then realised I'd really overdone it. worries were allayed when she told me she'd been on it since 1pm. it was a fun evening but i don't remember the end of it, nor do I remember falling asleep on the sofa and being woken up by my mum and told to go to bed. i'm 24 years old.

[Giggles]

met a young lady last night, drank some whisky beforehand to ease my nerves then realised I'd really overdone it. worries were allayed when she told me she'd been on it since 1pm. it was a fun evening but i don't remember the end of it, nor do I remember falling asleep on the sofa and being woken up by my mum and told to go to bed. i'm 24 years old.

Back when I was 24 my Ma was regularly waking me up on the back lawn or bonnet of the car, so you're doing ok.

[Adamski]

Did they have cars then?

[Giggles]

Did they have cars then?

You'd to wind it up with a handle to start it, but it still counts as a car.

[Mike]

I've been to Delamere Forest today. Went on a rope swing, cheered on some run and met the Gruffalo. :D

[Magic]

What's LR like in real life then?

[Danny]

Hurricane Matthew. Fuck.

[7om]

Hurricane Matthew. Fuck.

Christ, I forgot you'd be in the path of it down there. Are people evacuating? The latest I saw it predicted it will hit Florida on Saturday.

[Danny]

I am not in a evac zone (at this point) but anyone near the coast is long gone and my mate who lives on a third floor apt fucked off to the other side of the state. As have others.

We have cleared the yard and porch and have boarded up the windows, its beginning to look like one of those shitty estates you see on look north.

[7om]

I am not in a evac zone (at this point) but anyone near the coast is long gone and my mate who lives on a third floor apt fucked off to the other side of the state. As have others.

We have cleared the yard and porch and have boarded up the windows, its beginning to look like one of those shitty estates you see on look north.

https://youtu.be/JC18NUOLah0

[Danny]

I cant believe people would stay when actually told to GTFO. We would be out if we were in one of those zones.

Tracker has it dying down to a 3 over night and moving out to sea a little bit when it gets here but its changing all the time.

[Adamski]

What an awful name for a hurricane.

Will it leave a path of destruction including a load of dorks with sweater vests, cords and thick rimmed glasses?

Or would that be Hurricane Mike.

[elth]

Hurricane Charles. Hurricane Terry. Hurricane Laurence.

[Baz]

What an awful name for a hurricane.

Will it leave a path of destruction including a load of dorks with sweater vests, cords and thick rimmed glasses?

Or would that be Hurricane Mike.Only if it has dark hair.

[Spammer]

I'm doing shit all this weekend and I can't fucking wait. I haven't had a proper day off in about 3 weeks.

[Spikey M]

Latest predictions show Hurricane Matthew doubling back on its self and having another go at Haiti etc. Ouch.

[Magic]

:D

Superb.

[Waffdon]

Binging on Still Game all day before the new episode tonight. Fizzy pop cup away to Stranraer tomorrow and then bowing out in style for the final Sunday Sesh of the month and probably half next month. #EagleSunday

Time to be slightly sensible, eh?

[igor_balis]

Going to see Kunt and the Gang on his farewell tour tomorrow in Sheffield with a couple of m8z, then we're gonna get FUCKED UP. Gonna have half a pill and try to snog a passably attractive young lady, or at least someone fitter than the 15 stone Hungarian grebo I got with last time I was there, and hopefully we don't get a repeat of my mate persuading us to go to a gay bar at 6am because the world's most obvious tranny was chatting him up.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I will be laying on the sofa, feeling sorry for myself with my cold.

[Baz]

Pubs in Wigan tomorrow. Four of us going, with between six and twelve pubs shortlisted, all of which sell real ale. Aim is to be swigging our first pints just before midday. Maybe put a bet on between us to make the lack of good football seem good afterall. Should be a good day.

Also if Kuat scores first and Kazakhstan draw 2-2 with montenegro, the day is on me. :youpi:

[Kikó]

Off to a barn for one of my wife's mates 30th in the lake district. It'll probably be really good but shame she chucked the downton theme in.

[igor_balis]

Baz :cool:

Not a massive fan of day drinking, but there's something quite excellent about an ale sesh like that. My pal has a yearly 12 pubs tradition for his birthday; he picks 12 pubs, everyone meets at pub 1 at 12pm (or whenever you can be arsed to join in), then everyone has a pint at each pub every hour, finishing at the one truly good pub in the town at 11pm, then onto the two barely passable clubs if you're still alive.

He managed to get about 30 people this year which was dead impressive. Part-time drinkers and the 19 year olds tend to struggle though - a couple of brothers had a scrap last time, leaving one of them with a busted nose which isn't at all usual for our super-effete wussy crew.

[Lewis]

Off to a barn for one of my wife's mates 30th in the lake district. It'll probably be really good but shame she chucked the downton theme in.

One of the servants in that was gay, and he used to be in Coronation Street. So you're sorted.

[Spikey M]

Can we all stop saying Sesh?

[Giggles]

Can we all stop saying Sesh?

Indeed.

[mugbull]

Yet another California Bay Area export :cool:

[Spoonsky]

The modern world is pretty much a Bay Area export at this point.

[Giggles]

Cunts were saying sesh here when I was around 16 and I can guarantee none of them knew of there. The 'bay area' probably wasn't even a thing back then.

[Spikey M]

Sesh, or a 'Cheeky Sesh' is a British as it comes.

[Spoonsky]

Cunts were saying sesh here when I was around 16 and I can guarantee none of them knew of there. The 'bay area' probably wasn't even a thing back then.

I take your point, but lol.

[Giggles]

I take your point, but lol.

Of course there was a geographical bay area, but when people say it now they mean it as a lifestyle. Which didn't exist then.

[Lewis]

'Gay Area' more like.

[Giggles]

I, of course, meant the hipsters.

[7om]

San Francisco is pretty :drool: but quite mental at the same time. I can't put my finger in it, but maybe it's something to do with the fact that one block can look like a ghetto and the next all modern and clean.

[Spikey M]

You can say that about any City really?

[igor_balis]

getting annoyed at all shortened words isn't dece bantz

[Kikó]

One of the servants in that was gay, and he used to be in Coronation Street. So you're sorted.

http://img.thesun.co.uk/aidemitlum/archive/00813/SNN2804TVG-280_813099a.jpg

[Giggles]

Did he talk like Ashley in real life?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Someone post some dank memes.

[Danny]

Latest predictions show Hurricane Matthew doubling back on its self and having another go at Haiti etc. Ouch.

It will have shot its load by then anyway (on them the first time)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6QmtZib3kY

That is St Augustine where I used to live . Drainage there was so shit it would flood if you spat on the floor though

Right now we are just getting rained on (the yards flooded) and lots of wind. Internet and TV are out too so I am sat on the porch having a beer and using my phone as a hot spot.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Can't find my Amazon fire remote having misplaced it whilst off my head on this cold/flu so I just ordered a replacement on Prime Now.

It will be here within 2 hours :drool:

[Bam]

How are they getting it to you within 2 hours? Pretty impressive.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Prime Now scheme.

They've got a depot in Welwyn Garden City.

[Spikey M]

Look at old man Bam all out of touch

[Giggles]

I was expecting something cool like a drone.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Apparently 'Arthur' has my parcel and is on his way.

[Adamski]

Can't find my Amazon fire remote having misplaced it whilst off my head on this cold/flu so I just ordered a replacement on Prime Now.

It will be here within 2 hours :drool:

There's a remote app that could have been with you in 2 seconds.

[Giggles]

Better offer him a cuppa at this hour of the night.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There's a remote app that could have been with you in 2 seconds.
My TV remote is actually working with it but it's just a bit shit. I miss the actual remote.

Better offer him a cuppa at this hour of the night.
I included a £2 tip at checkout.

Well I didn't realise they would add it so never removed it. He can buy a cuppa with that.

[Magic]

Pre-holiday arguments are raging at the moment. Excellent stuff. Got to make an emergency dash to TKMaxx tomorrow morning and get some vests. This is what happens when you don't go on holiday for 5 years.

[Adamski]

Where you going?

[Giggles]

As far as the Airport.

[Adamski]

Wearing his vest at an Edinburgh airport bistro.

[Lewis]

I went to Hull Fair, and my dickhead friend gave a gypo twenty quid to read their palms. That is lol enough, but her caravan boasted about all the celebrities she had seen. Kevin Keegan, John Prescott, Jack Duckworth, Fred Elliott, Mike Baldwin... Hang on. They have real names, love. Unless she read them in character. If so, they all died of short illness/surprise heart attacks. Did she see those coming?

[Magic]

Wearing his vest at an Edinburgh airport bistro.

Are you joking, I'm flying from Prestwick so it'll be basically empty apart from a few West Coast chav families and Americans who are doing it on the cheap.

Also I'm wearing full gear to the airport.

[Magic]

All calmed down a bit now anyway. That's us basically packed. Giving it a heavy session in the gym before we leave. :drool:

Just sorting out emergency films on the tablet, I don't want to use it because I'm such a sneering cunt at parents who placate their children with passive activities.

I've secretly stuck a Portuguese audio learning pack on it. That won't go down well with the scum on the plane who will be piling junk food and junk movies in to their scum children whilst we become bi together. Bilingual that is.

[Adamski]

Prestwick? Classy.

[niko_cee]

Dora the explorer would probably be more educational.

[Magic]

Prestwick? Classy.

:D

inorite. Dreading it but if it's really empty and the flight isn't packed great. I've got a feeling as it's school holidays and nobody goes to the shit non-European countries anymore it'll be hoaching.

[Adamski]

Not school holidays until next week down here so you might be safe.

[Magic]

Orly? :drool:

Didn't realise there are only like 4 outbound flights a day from Prestwick. At most then the airport will probably only be occupied with the 7:20am flight. Lol at that.

[Adamski]

I think it's the winter schedule now so there's a bit less but yeah even at peak there's about 15.

[Giggles]

The fact it's grimmer than Glasgow airport is really saying something.

[Magic]

There's 7, 3 of them leave within an hour of each other in the morning which might be a pain at security apparently they are jobsworth cunts. Be a bit of a shock for me as I've only ever flown out of big airports. Even Dundee airport is really nicely maintained and minimal.

[Adamski]

It's actually not too bad. Something quite decent about the lack of queues etc. Nothing worse at the airport.

Glasgow airport is alright as far as airports go, funsponge.

[Giggles]

That fucking portacabin they call Terminal 2 check ins and the fact you can't buy a security fast track says otherwise. Not being able to enjoy a pint outside once you get through all the queues is shit too.

[John]

Prestwick is great. The utter desperation of the 'Elvis Lounge' or whatever it's called makes me laugh every time I even hear the name of a place within thirty miles of it.

[Magic]

I've just had a look at that on Facebook. The times people are checking in to it drinking. :sick:

What the fuck is wrong with people (Waff)?

[Spammer]

Gonna get the train to York and walk back to Leeds. Wish me luck.

[Spikey M]

It always disgusts me when you see people sat in the pub at the airport drinking ridiculously early. Our flight out was at 7:15. We ate at about 6:00 and people were knocking back cider. Rank.

[Magic]

It always disgusts me when you see people sat in the pub at the airport drinking ridiculously early. Our flight out was at 7:15. We ate at about 6:00 and people were knocking back cider. Rank.

We're just going to buy some stuff tonight (cereal bars, couple of apples etc) and have that rather than buy any overpriced processed bollocks. But yeah I don't get it. Maybe on a stag do or whatever but a customary pint of piss or two before a flight, I can't think of anything worse. Especially, ESPECIALLY at 5:30am.

[Giggles]

I love a 5am pint before a flight. I get to the airport 3 hours early just so I can get past all the queues and relax with one before I go. Though I would be a bit of a scummer anyway, so it fits.

[-james-]

Failed at getting Glastonbury tickets this morning, just ended up staring at a blank page for an hour. Fairly normal but usually at least one person I know gets through and sorts everyone out, not even a hint today.

Sounds like about half the tickets got hoovered up by cunts with page refreshing apps or the nerds who realised they could bypass the first page by editing their hosts file. It's a joke that this happens every year, just make it a ballot ffs.

This post would probably be different if I'd known about page refreshing apps or what to change my hosts file to.

[Spikey M]

Just to complete my transition into a boring old bastard - 'Glasto' looks absolutely shit. I can't even imagine paying £100 odd to listen to some sub-standard pop then camp in a flooded field full of pissed up wankers pissing in bottles.

[SvN]

The idea of a festival with mates is one that appeals, but I doubt I'd enjoy much of the music. Plus, now I'm 30, I sort of feel like I've missed the boat.

[Giggles]

I got to hear most of Saturday night of electric picnic from a friends back yard this year and apart from Noel Gallagher it was all horseshite.

[Foe]

Just to complete my transition into a boring old bastard - 'Glasto' looks absolutely shit. I can't even imagine paying £100 odd to listen to some sub-standard pop then camp in a flooded field full of pissed up wankers pissing in bottles.

I've never seen the appeal personally.

[-james-]

Glastonbury at 24 is better than Glastonbury at any prior age tbh.

[Magic]

Absolutely seething and miserable so far. Great start! Forgot the electric toothbrush as well.

[Raoul Duke]

If I was going to go to a festival now, I'd go in some poncy VIP tent thing. Fuck sleeping in a shitty Argos job with the plebs.

[Spammer]

Just come back from York. It was easier than the other walk on the whole as it was 10km shorter, although there was about an hour of walking through uneven grass along the side of the A64 in the dark, which was a bit shit. It also rained a couple of times. I didn't really meet anyone this time either.

On the other hand, I went for a curry at a place Leeds that id not been to before and it turned out to be a right little number. Was very happy with that.

[Spikey M]

In a few weeks there's going to be a Crimewatch Special about some bloke lurking in the northern countryside offering to duct tape, but not rape, passers by.

[Lewis]

'Members of the public are advised to approach with caution, as he can get very defensive.'

[Foe]

Saw Taylor swift perform after the qualifying at the formula 1 last night (amazing) and the race rot day.

Bloody roasting too. no Sunday night fear ahead for me.

[Baz]

I'm in Norwich. :eyemouth:

[Magic]

Ok so the wife is away this weekend sucking off loads of refugee cock in Amsterdam on a hen do with someone who's getting married to a convicted paedophile with two children, a terribly unhappy wife who has threatened to run away three times, a single mother who has a lust for Turkish cock for some reason even though the dad was a filthy Turk who hasn't paid a penny or even acknowledges his daughter, and a girl who's been in a long term relationship which involved a 'short break' of two weeks, during which time she had had basically an orgy with 4 guys.

What could go wrong? Anyway I've dropped a clanger because my daughter has a party tomorrow lunchtime, I added the mum on Facebook about 2 hours ago, we know each other by first name so it's not DREADFUL but my excuse was rather than be a creeper that I lost the invitation and needed to get the address and I didn't have her number. Of course, it never occurred to me she wouldn't accept my request for whatever reason. Now I am facing the possibility of turning up to the correct place (I know exactly where it is) and having that totally awkward thing where she knows I've creeped her on Facebook and added her for no reason. Fuck.

[Boydy]

You've mentioned your wife twice in that list of people who are going.

[Magic]

:baz:

[Adamski]

You've mentioned your wife twice in that list of people who are going.

At least twice.

[Pepe]

Just say you got the address from someone else. Or just don't bring it up. It's not that hard, no need to shit your pants for everything.

[Magic]

:baz: :baz:

[Magic]

Just say you got the address from someone else. Or just don't bring it up. It's not that hard, no need to shit your pants for everything.

I'm a catastrophiser. But thanks for dismissing my feelings. Tell me, would you tell someone with a severed limb to stop shitting their pants over everything? Because it's the same thing. Just because you can't see it.

[Magic]

Just say you got the address from someone else. Or just don't bring it up. It's not that hard, no need to shit your pants for everything.

Oh, and who else? I don't fucking know anyone else that's going.

[Pepe]

I'm a catastrophiser. But thanks for dismissing my feelings. Tell me, would you tell someone with a severed limb to stop shitting their pants over everything? Because it's the same thing. Just because you can't see it.

Which body part are you missing?

If someone with a severed limb shat his pants over everything then I would tell him the same because having a severed limb has nothing to do with it.


Oh, and who else? I don't fucking know anyone else that's going.

Hmm. Better to not go then, I think.

Did you just add her on facebook to perv around?

[Pepe]

Also :console:

[Pepe]

'I found the invitation in the end. It was in the dildo drawer lololol.'

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Even I wouldn't be shitting my pants at this.

[Magic]

Which body part are you missing?

If someone with a severed limb shat his pants over everything then I would tell him the same because having a severed limb has nothing to do with it.



Hmm. Better to not go then, I think.

Did you just add her on facebook to perv around?

:D No I did not. I added her with that excuse in the hope of actually trying to become friends over and above 'Hi' and for someone to talk to at all these shit fucking gay parties with screaming bastard children. There are a few cliques because the catchment area is so small. I've been to quite a few before but always with the wife never on my own so I'm facing 2 hours of isolation or drawing teeth. Maybe I'm just a prick. No I definitely am.

[Magic]

'I found the invitation in the end. It was in the dildo drawer lololol.'

"I did find the invitation. It was hiding at the back of the bottom drawer, along with my self esteem and self worth...though they remain there"

*awkward pause*

"But let me tell you about this guy I know called Mahow"

[Pepe]

You'll shag her in the ball pit. In your mind, that is.

[Magic]

Nah. In fact there are very few milfs there. Most of them come from successful families so a lot are only children with older mums and dads.

[Boydy]

Aren't there other dads there you can talk with about football or something?

[Lewis]

They take bets on how long it takes you to mention Sainsbury's trying to fit in.

[Magic]

Aren't there other dads there you can talk with about football or something?

Not really. There was one but he knew some of the mums, when we did get talking he liked hockey and he's ginger to boot. The other one is one of those over enthusiastic prats who is like GO SON GO! FANTASTIC SON! and looks like he's the son of a farmer but wishes he was the son of a banker. A class A twat that nonces about in a checked shirt and a bodywarmer. Expensive stuff like, but still a gimp. The dad of the kid who's party it is is a really nice bloke, but he'll either be offshore or too busy doing party stuff to stand and chat for ages. I might just charge my phone fully and ignore everyone. That seems like the best/Giggles option.

Oh actually yeah, there is a couple who went last year to the same party, I thought they were losers but I go to Twisting Tots with the mum and she's actually alright (if a bit weird, they co-sleep with their kids?! but she's a GP so whatevs). Her husband is a bit of a loser (and a fireman so lol). I might just chat to him, knowing I hold the social upper ground. Anyone else is free to join that party. :cool:

Also there's another couple who were quite sound, the guy used to work the for the sister company of the original company I worked for. Anyway his wife I'm sure doesn't acknowledge me anymore since she caught me staring at her breastfeeding their youngest at yet another party last year.

So...scenes.

[Magic]

They probably have names for me like Breasty McStare Feed or the Facebook Killer. I'll fucking carve them up.

[Giggles]

This is why kids ruin happy solitude.

[Baz]

Sounds like a dreadful way to spend an afternoon, even if you were friends with some of the others. I can't even imagine how bad it must be either not knowing anyone, or knowing and actively disliking them. Good luck, Magic. :thbup:

Yesterday was spent having a guided tour around Norwich for the third time. Had to drive somewhere at 4:30 so couldn't even suggest nipping into a few pubs through the day. Today there's talk of driving to "the coast" but it sounds like it's just pretty, rather than there being anything there. So long as I'm back in town with the car parked at the hotel for 5:25 and in a pub watching the Reds by half past, I'm not too bothered. Need to find a Betfred before 1:30 to put a Goals Galore on though.

[Disco]

Fireman trumps phone monkey every day of the week.

[igor_balis]

There's this fat girl I have added on facebook from somewhere who is always posting about how depressed she is, and I've matched with her on tinder from spamming right swipe with the intention of doing quality control after I get matches. I saw her in town last night, and it is probably not having sex for 2 months and the fact I was quite pissed but my main feeling at the time was that she wasn't as fat as I thought and fuck it maybe I should try to shag her.

Plenty of mutual friends and we live in a small town so I'd feel bad if I everyone found out I used her for sex and sent her into a suicidal spiral by breaking her heart, but I'm gonna spend today considering a CHEEKY tinder message.

Oh, and there's a small chance that the person I saw wasn't actually her.

[Disco]

What could possibly go wrong.

[Magic]

As soon as Igor opens with 'there's this' you know a tragic tale is about to unfold.

[Boydy]

Have you been to your party yet?

[Spikey M]

Bonus points on offer for getting as many thinly veiled refferences to her weight into the CHEEKY message as possible.

[igor_balis]

"There's this Scottish bloke on this Football Manager forum I post on..."

I've looked at her facebook photos again and either she's lost a lot of weight in the last few months or the person I saw last night was someone else entirely. Or I was more drunk than I realised.

[Giggles]

"There's this Scottish bloke on this Football Manager forum I post on..."

I've looked at her facebook photos again and either she's lost a lot of weight in the last few months or the person I saw last night was someone else entirely. Or I was more drunk than I realised.

Future Mrs Balis.

[Mike]

Went the pub for tea for a mates birthday, was a bit dull until Tom (from Baz's rugby lad stag do thread) arrived and cheered us all up.
I'm going a wedding tonight where I will not know a single person other than who I am going with, should be fun though, we're staying in some weird house thing I found on AirBnB.

Tomorrow I shall be sulking over it being the last day of half term.:(

[Magic]

It was actually decent. I was dreading it, sat next to people I didn't know and my daughter was pulling the i wasnt to go home bullshit. However we got talking and she was alright. Then i went and talked to a couple i know for the last hour. Still thank God I'm not going to the one tomorrow. Grandparents because I'm on dinner. Woop.

[Giggles]

What about the one you were creeping on Facebook?

[Magic]

Oh yeah she was fine. Accepted me after midnight last night. I sent her a PM this morning and she replied. Breasty McStare Face ignored me though, the sour cunt.

Edit: did I mention I was holding her other son at the time?

Edit 2: and I had a boner?

[Dquincy]

Going to look at a possible new house. The whole thought of it is making me tired...can't be arsed with the hassle, but am keen to get a bigger place.

Also want to get away from my next door neighbour. She's a fucking mentalist who hoovers probably 4 times a day, at least.

[Kikó]

I was at my friends 30th last night for a Mexican then karaoke. The food was brilliant but it was in Leicester square which is horrendous. So many fucking people.

Then into Soho for this karaoke and is there anything shitter? 12 people in a small room murdering songs for hours. Fucking hell.

[Sam]

Is that Salsa? Nice food but fucking shit otherwise.

[Raoul Duke]

Lucky Voice? Absolute shambles that place. Horrific.

[Kikó]

The Mexican was Cantina Laredo. The karaoke was called something obvious like Karaoke box.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What was your song of choice, Kiko?

[Disco]

I would rather put out my own eyes than do karaoke.

[phonics]

I was at my friends 30th last night for a Mexican then karaoke. The food was brilliant but it was in Leicester square which is horrendous. So many fucking people.

Then into Soho for this karaoke and is there anything shitter? 12 people in a small room murdering songs for hours. Fucking hell.

Karaoke is the absolute pits. It's the one activity that I definitively judge people for enjoying.

[Kikó]

What was your song of choice, Kiko?

Aha -take on me.

[Spikey M]

I have never been to the Karaoke. It's one of the few events that can guarentee my non-attendance.

I bet Jimmy loves it with his work mob.

[igor_balis]

Met my friend at the pub for last orders yesterday after he played a gig, then we went to the crappy bar/club place to go for a pint. Shit loads of pretty 19 year old girls in revealing Halloween outfits, I've never felt more sexually frustrated. I wish I could retain the swagger and confidence I have when I'm seeing a girl when I'm single, but invariably I turn into a drooling mess after more than about a week of involuntary celibacy.

[Pepe]

Aha -take on me.

Top choice. :cool:

[Baz]

Then into Soho for this karaoke and is there anything shitter? 12 people in a small room murdering songs for hours. Fucking hell.8 blokes who are internet friends meeting up for a curry and idle small talk while a few of them subtly try to figure out who else will do coke in the toilets with them to spice things up a bit?

[Giggles]

My Mrs away foreign so I have only got out of this seat to piss and go to bed in the last two days. Living the dream.

[Kikó]

8 blokes who are internet friends meeting up for a curry and idle small talk while a few of them subtly try to figure out who else will do coke in the toilets with them to spice things up a bit?

Are you coming then?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have never been to the Karaoke. It's one of the few events that can guarentee my non-attendance.

I bet Jimmy loves it with his work mob.

For some reason, it's something they do with clients rather than their own workforce. You'd think a middle aged Asian man standing up and singing 'Those Were The Days' without consonants would be bad for business, but apparently not.

[Baz]

Are you coming then?No.

[Kikó]

There goes the banter then. :(

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

And the coke.

[Baz]

The only thing to tempt me into a meet would be Waffdon and igor_balis being somewhere local to me. Sorry everyone else but you're either too much like my existing friends or not the type of people I'd go for a drink with. I'll let you decide which category you fall into

[Magic]

Just seen @Waff on Snapchat stotting about where I grew up at about 5am this morning looking dazed and confused. Probably on the smack now.

[Foe]

Just seen @Waff on Snapchat stotting about where I grew up at about 5am this morning looking dazed and confused. Probably on the smack now.

Nice to see his life is looking up.

[Shindig]

A family get-together at the hospital wasn't how I expected this weekend to go. Still, got to see my sis presumably for the last time before she gives birth. And my mam seemed chipper, despite the week she's had. I dunno how she does it.

[Disco]

Isn't 'stotting' what antelopes do?

[Waffdon]

Just seen @Waff on Snapchat stotting about where I grew up at about 5am this morning looking dazed and confused. Probably on the smack now.

Got back home at 10am ��

Some night.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Got back home at 10am ��

Some night.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FyM76oeSnI

Nip in before Igor.

[Magic]

Got back home at 10am ��

Some night.

The fuck were you doing up there.

[Waffdon]

Some women offered us back to a house party And she had the UFC on so I wasn't turning that down.

Left at 8am, walked to city centre for a bus and got breakfast at Jollys

[Spoonsky]

Every day's the weekend when you're on vacation.

I was interviewed to be on TV in Japan today. I think it was for one of those 'idiots on the street' segments, so the Japanese Jimmy Fallon will be lolling at me mistaking a back-scratcher for a stirring spoon. Broadcasting January 1st.

[Pepe]

Something about the trump youth probably.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You're lucky you didn't end up having to eat a can of dog food out of a schoolgirl's anus.

[Giggles]

I've to go to Mass twice this weekend and worse again, I've to go to a musical tomorrow :(

[Spammer]

Got shit all planned. Writing my APR tonight because I can't concentrate on it at work :moop: and off to see my mate Edith tomorrow.

[Raoul Duke]

I've to go to Mass twice this weekend and worse again, I've to go to a musical tomorrow :(

That genuinely sounds like the worst weekend I could ever envision.

[Offshore Toon]

I've got quite a bit of acid lying around, so I've just done some. I've only ever done it with mates before, but I've heard that you get the most out of it by doing it alone. Only one way to find out, I guess.

[Giggles]

That genuinely sounds like the worst weekend I could ever envision.

Pretty much.

[Baz]

That genuinely sounds like the worst weekend I could ever envision.How about sitting alone in your mums house, on acid? :dust:

[Offshore Toon]

I was going to say I wouldn't do acid at my mum's, but if you could get it in Jersey I'm sure it would happen at some stage.

My mates are having a party tonight in London with some band playing that are supposedly quite big (for 'punk'/London). I know that if I go up I'll regret it tomorrow evening/Monday, so at the moment just enjoying Ben Klock b2b Marcel Dettmann.

[Magic]

Listen to DSoTM.

[Offshore Toon]

Good shout. The new Tribe album really came to life this afternoon as well. Other than that, its been a bit too mild for my liking.

[mugbull]

Take anoher tab and watch Samsara.

[Spammer]

Samsara :cool:

Isn't acid meant to be really hard to get in the UK? I was looking into getting some a year or so ago and was told that it was really bloody difficult to get hold of. It's the one drug I still want to try, even if only once.

[Offshore Toon]

I'd adapted to the LSD too much to get into Samsara. Ended up watching the rugby. One thing about acid is that it does go on a bit too long. Your body figures out how to deal with it about four hours in and after that you're kinda in a phase where you can't do normal stuff but you can't do trippy stuff.

Get it off the dark web, Hammer. Just use the name of somebody you still get post for.

[Spammer]

Get it off the dark web, Hammer. Just use the name of somebody you still get post for.

Clever :). Doesn't that involve getting a VPN and Tor? I've heard about the website (forget its name) that's properly like Ebay for illicit goods. Is it generally reliable?

[mugbull]

Yeah shrooms are besser, don't last as long. The second half of an acid trip is just an annoying "wait it out" game

[Magic]

I had 2 tabs and it was my first time. It was the most amazing trip ever and it lasted for about 8 hours. Even now, 8 years on I can still physically 'see' Any Colour You Like every time I hear it.

[Magic]

Also we made an outstanding vegetable lasagne, 4 portions all to freeze apart from one for me tonight because she was going to a wedding with a friend. So not only did I pick the dumb bint up, she only brought a fucking tin of tomato soup for her dinner(!) so the wife offered her my lasagne in the fridge. That meant I had to stick my frozen one in the oven whilst I dropped them off (including a visit to the bloody bank and her home to drop her stuff off) so in the end it took 1.5hrs. My Lasagne was cremated (but still good). Fuck.

Also I thought it was lasagna.

[Offshore Toon]

Clever :). Doesn't that involve getting a VPN and Tor? I've heard about the website (forget its name) that's properly like Ebay for illicit goods. Is it generally reliable?
I use Tor to browse and then Kleopatra to send the address encrypted. AlphaBay is the site I use atm. You can dispute transactions if they don't go through on AlphaBay, so you can get some or all of your money back, but as a new customer they might side with the seller. I'd say I've had a 80%-90% hit rate of getting stuff through, but its worth it since its cheaper and better quality than your average dealer will sell.

Yeah shrooms are besser, don't last as long. The second half of an acid trip is just an annoying "wait it out" game
Yeah, I went to the shop and realised in the queue that my pupils were bigger than my head. Good laugh, though. One thing I've taken from today is the realisation that acid could work on a night out as long as it was around 150ug-200ug. I agree shrooms are better, though. Much fluffier.

[Adamski]

Also we made an outstanding vegetable lasagne, 4 portions all to freeze apart from one for me tonight because she was going to a wedding with a friend. So not only did I pick the dumb bint up, she only brought a fucking tin of tomato soup for her dinner(!) so the wife offered her my lasagne in the fridge. That meant I had to stick my frozen one in the oven whilst I dropped them off (including a visit to the bloody bank and her home to drop her stuff off) so in the end it took 1.5hrs. My Lasagne was cremated (but still good). Fuck.

Also I thought it was lasagna.

Lasagna is the singular.

[Magic]

Lasagna is the singular.

Well it was a single lasagna divided in to four lasagne.

[Spammer]

I use Tor to browse and then Kleopatra to send the address encrypted. AlphaBay is the site I use atm. You can dispute transactions if they don't go through on AlphaBay, so you can get some or all of your money back, but as a new customer they might side with the seller. I'd say I've had a 80%-90% hit rate of getting stuff through, but its worth it since its cheaper and better quality than your average dealer will sell.

Do you need a VPN if you use Tor?

[Magic]

Lol @ p2p over Tor. I tried it once.

[Shindig]

Lads, just settle for youtube equivalents with adverts every two minutes.

[Adamski]

Well it was a single lasagna divided in to four lasagne.

As in one sheet of lasagna not one portion you melt.