What shall your weekend bring?

[niko_cee]

Lego is a tricky one as it's obviously great. Doesn't the lego movie itself address the perils of AFoLism with Will Ferrell's (?) character, who builds his lego city with glue and won't let his kids play with it? The main problem adult fandom has actually created is that it has emboldened the Danes to push the prices of everything through the roof. I think as long as you can still enjoy it as a toy, and not as some sort of collectible you're on decent ground.

[Giggles]

The WWE thread basically lives at the top of this site.

[Pepe]

Come at me bros

https://i.imgur.com/lzPURD0.jpg

[Giggles]

Lego stopped when it went away from this and focused on the cash-in sets where you just made the photo on the box instead of a child having an imagination.


https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59092e0846c3c4e4cad5ec99/1536805324665-R7N47N370WG98W62JBPF/box-of-vintage-lego-1.jpg

[Pepe]

Nah, I like the cash-in sets. Well, at least that F1 one.

[Lewis]

The Lego Staunch Box.

[Baz]

The WWE thread basically lives at the top of this site.

I’m currently as into AEW as I was into WWE in like 2002. :cool:

[Giggles]

The wrestling is one I'll never understand. I can get why people watch it in the same sense as people will watch Eastenders or something, but grown adults still talking about it like it's a sport is really odd.

[Giggles]

The Lego Staunch Box.

Props to Boydy for sending me the photo.

[Pepe]

I thought that everyone treated it like a soap opera now. When I go into the thread, everyone is talking about 'the bookings' as opposed to the fights themselves.

[niko_cee]

The Lego Staunch Box.

:D

[Lewis]

My grandad is in the early stages of dementia, but he never informed the DVLA and refused to stop driving. My nan, who has been getting increasingly terrified by his erratic driving, tipped the DVLA off and convinced him that the doctor must have done it. They made him do some renewed licence assessment, and he only went and passed it. :harold:

[Giggles]

:cool:

[Spikey M]

Donned.

[Pepe]

Didn't some of you fail like five times?

[Spikey M]

I passed first time but I do know someone that failed pulling out of the test centre.

[randomlegend]

Didn't some of you fail like five times?

Doesn't look like it's the same as the initial driving test you do to get your license.

(I failed once and on a bullshit reason).

[Giggles]

Got the spuds planted today so the back is broke. Should be before the 17th but I think we’ll be grand. Carrots and onions are in too. Garlic in April.

[Shindig]

Had a really productive day today. Started with checking out the US Pampanito and the Jeremiah O'Brien. The latter is a WW2 ship with a working engine. They let the punters check it out and it's cool to see the pistons all moving. Then I walked into the arcade next door. I was surprised how many machines they had in there.

Lastly, I visited Fort Point. Not a lot there but it's nice to see it just under the bridge. You may remember it as Jizzy's strip club from GTA San Andreas :D

I also feel like I've got covid. :moop:

[Baz]

There's a new Chris Chan documentary (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6bEcBe99QM) to watch when you get home. :)

[igor_balis]

That's just what I need for my hungover idiot Sunday morning, thanks Baz.

Had a pretty good time down south - my mates surprise engagement party on Friday was good, I was worried it was just gonna be me and loads of his missuses posh mates, but I got to hang out all evening with one of his really sound, quiet mates I'd gone camping with and said mate's really intense and batshit Estonian girlfriend. Once she'd had a few drinks and stopped being really awkward, I also got to hang out with this posh girl I'd shagged a few years back. I don't blame her for the awkwardness though - she lives in NYC, and understandably assumed she probably wouldn't ever meet me again, and when id returned from the walk of shame at 9am that morning in 2018, expecting to get to tell all the sordid details, they already knew them. "What the fuck Igor, you put your tongue up her arse?!" was a question i didn't really know how to answer.

We went to Whitstable yesterday, which was alright I suppose, but I spent most of the day hanging out my arse and thinking I was gonna shit myself.

[-james-]

I'm 30 on Sunday. Fucking hell. Going to get pissed in the sun all day tomorrow.

[Luca]

Happy bidet.

Met Spoonsky today for breakfast. Can’t believe it’s been 10 years and he’s still 13.

[Shindig]

That sounds like a court defence.

[Luca]

He came on to me.

[-james-]

Went out to play five a side at six last night. Usually have a couple of pints afterwards. Hadn't considered that everyone has tomorrow off. The dawn chorus is rather lovely on ketamine.

[John Arne]

Double-header Asian Champions League tomorrow night.

HAGL v Yokohama F Marinos followed by Jeonbuk v Sydney FC, at a sold-out Thong Nhat. Live football is back :drool:

Ryo Miyaichi and Adam Le Fondre on the same night.

[igor_balis]

Some lad we know is on a mini-tour with his SLUDGE METAL band. Was playing Birmingham last night so three of us turned up unannounced. Was actually a very fun evening, even though metal is v much outside of my usual wheelhouse. Felt bad for him tho, 4 acts on the bill, they were second last, but the band before then were local and it seemed like they'd brought about 25 of their mates who immediately left after they'd finished.

This left an audience of us three, my mate's very confused, very middle aged parents, and about 5 metalheads.

This is their latest release GOAT BONG, which i think is a real bopper.


https://youtu.be/XD6REISE5-g

[Panda Bear]

according to instagram, JordInc got up to getting married this weekend

[Giggles]

If that’s not just an old name for James then it’s a new one on me.

[Luca]

JordInc :cool:

He never did get to Toronto like he promised. Twat.

[Lewis]

TTH Glory Years Reunion. Googles Toby. Forget it.

[Baz]

They’ll have to find me on Reddit first.

[igor_balis]

I went to a deer park with some colleagues and my other mate today, it was nice.

[Giggles]

Shooting?

[igor_balis]

During my pretty crappy trip to London, I did experience some brilliant public transport nonsense. Some homeless woman in my carriage (Victoria to East Croydon) started doing a big speech begging for stuff, not just going person to person, it was like the kind of performance shit, "RIGHT GUYS, I'M 5 YEARS HOMELESS, IF YOU CAN SPARE SOME FOOD, DRINK, TOILET PAPER, CASH" etc etc, it was very well rehearsed. There was a table of 2 lads who'd been to the rugby and two American tourists loudly chatting, and she came over and told them off :D

Proper "LISTEN GUYS, JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE YEAH, THIS IS VERY RUDE, YOU'RE INTERRUPTING ME". They didn't give her any grief, just sat in incredulous silence. She started her speech again, and within about 15 seconds, some bloke down the other end of the carriage starting loudly playing Ring of Fire on his acoustic guitar. This wasn't even just some random lad doing a cover version, he seemed like a borderline Johnny Cash impersonator - had all the mannerisms, and even spoke like him introducing the song. Absolutely class, shame the date was shit really.

[Manc]

Poor effort.

[Yevrah]

I saw Stewart Lee in Reading weekend just gone. I preferred Tornado to Snowflake, but it was absolutely hilarious all round.

[niko_cee]

First half good second half meh (for his Guardian audience).

[Lewis]

I was in London today, and a lot of the 'homeless' men had no shoes on. Plus they all had the same sign in the same writing. Imagine falling for that.

[Spikey M]

How does that work then? I know fake homeless people are a thing, but why are they all kitted out the same? Is it an organised thing?

[Lewis]

It must be. They weren't all wearing the exact same thing, but where have all their shoes gone as soon as the weather comes out?

[Giggles]

Home alone for the weekend :cool:

[Lewis]

I am in London again and the shoeless massive have spread out from their previous locations. I should inform the mayor.

[Shindig]

He's just got back from Los Angeles. He should know what homeless people look like now.

[Giggles]

That age old question that has been asked many times here - indian, chippers, or Chinese?

[Shindig]

Get a side of chips with an Indian or Chinese.

[Giggles]

That’s a given.

[niko_cee]

I'd go chippy, unless you're looking at some sort of left-overs driven over ordering.

[Giggles]

I'd go chippy, unless you're looking at some sort of left-overs driven over ordering.

That’s exactly what I’ve done. Got kebab shop and got enough to chuck in the air fryer tomorrow. €47 :drool:

On a second look, we’ve no proper chippers around here.

[Baz]

Chippies, Giggles. Chippy.

[Giggles]

I'm not a geezer. Chipper or chippers.

[Baz]

Never been called a geezer before. :cool:

[Boydy]

€47 of stuff from a kebab shop? Surely that's enough to keep you going all weekend?

[Giggles]

Do you have Father’s Day over there this weekend too? It used to never be much of a thing and it seems a really big deal this year, especially in this age when being a man at all is supposed to be shameful. Like, I would have always got my Da a card and whatever but never seen it treated like a big birthday or something like it seems to be now.

[Ben]

They’ll do anything to get us spending our money on shit we don’t need. Rampant consumerism. :drool:

[Giggles]

It was always a thing though, and I can’t even blame social media for a sudden rise in prominence because it would have happened ten years ago in that case.

[Don]

At what stage is this and Mother's Day gonna be cancelled? It seems pretty harsh for a lot of people who have associated traumas.

[Shindig]

Happy Legal Guardian day!

[Baz]

People getting wound up about people celebrating Fathers Day are bigger losers than those who really celebrate Fathers Day.

My dads birthday is hardly a massive event anyway, so Father’s Day probably is on par. :sorry: Got him a card and a small present, sent him a text. Job done. Also received a card and a small present.

I’m also tempted to log in to Facebook to see if any sad wives are posting about their amazing husband on Father’s Day (and likewise sad bastard men praising their missus on Mother’s Day) for being a fantastic parent, and comment something about them marrying their dad. But, just like most things I think about doing, I can never be arsed.

[Giggles]

Getting wound up? Give yourself a shake.

[Baz]

I didn’t mean you. I meant in general. Particularly the consumerism moaners.

[igor_balis]

It was always a thing though, and I can’t even blame social media for a sudden rise in prominence because it would have happened ten years ago in that case.

Feels like I'm stating the obvious, like a hack observational comedian saying "bloody Christmas stuff out in the supermarkets in October?!? World's gone mad!!", but it definitely feels like a top down consumerism thing. I don't mean consumerism in a generic lefty capitalism bad way, more that I've actually noticed more of a targeted push from shops n that - I had emails urging me to buy father's day gifts this year from The Telegraph, Cineworld and the West Brom club shop to name just a few - swear there wasn't as much stuff like this even a couple of years ago.

It feels like the kinda lazy hegemony of marketers and business strategists that leads to every random corporate entity deciding they need to have a podcast cus everyone else has a podcast. I'm actually semi surprised the marketing department at the chartity I work for didn't try to get in on the act. Give your father the gift of...er, chucking us a tenner towards some irrigation project in Zambia or some shit.

[niko_cee]

At what stage is this and Mother's Day gonna be cancelled? It seems pretty harsh for a lot of people who have associated traumas.

I've noticed a lot of "do you mind if we send you father's day emails this year as we know it is a tough time for some people" emails so someone's obviously made out selling corporate sensitivity training.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I went up to my dad and wished him a happy father's day, he'd pretend I wasn't there and walk into the next room. Don't know if that says more about us or it.

[Spikey M]

I can't say I've noticed even the slightest difference in Fathers day celebrations.

[Spikey M]

At what stage is this and Mother's Day gonna be cancelled? It seems pretty harsh for a lot of people who have associated traumas.

I have noticed an increase in this bollocks though. And I say that as someone that has last both parents.

There is nothing - NOTHING - in the world that someone doesn't have trauma regarding. Fathers day. Christmas. Fireworks. Peanuts. Probably fucking Coleslaw at this point. Why can't people just cry their sad tears and shut the fuck up these days?

[Offshore Toon]

If trauma has to be the excuse to get rid of these shit days, so be it.

[Kikó]

I've noticed a difference only in as much someone wished my happy father's Day which hasn't happened before

[Giggles]

I've noticed a difference only in as much someone wished my happy father's Day which hasn't happened before

Didn't you only become a father in the meantime?

[Giggles]

Actually that's the (Dad) joke, isn't it?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

A waitress at the restaurant I went to yesterday wished me a happy fathers day.

[Kikó]

Actually that's the (Dad) joke, isn't it?

Sure is.

[Lofty]

My dad is a pain in that his Birthday and Father's day are within a week of each other. However I pushed the boat out for his 60th this year so he was resigned to socks for the secondary event.

[mo]

As I rushed into town at 8am on Sunday to get my dad a card, it occurred to me what a fucking odd world newsagents live in. Open from 4.30 am :|

[Shindig]

Elon Musk got a daughter for Father's Day. One of his sons has transitioned out of spite. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

As I rushed into town at 8am on Sunday to get my dad a card, it occurred to me what a fucking odd world newsagents live in. Open from 4.30 am :|

Them, bakers, farmers and postmen occupy a kind of secret universe and I'm not sure I want to see what goes on there.

[Baz]

Got an awards ceremony tonight.

TTH Awards 2022 :cool:

Anyone else going?

[Ian]

I'll do what I do with most award things and just wait for the results, I suspect.

[igor_balis]

Just about to pick up my tuxedo from the drycleaners :cool:

Who's doing the red carpet interviews?

[Baz]

I'll do what I do with most award things and just wait for the results, I suspect.Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but there’s not gonna be a livestream with multiple hosts dialling in, if you’re thinking it’s gonna be too overwhelming to open the thread before tomorrow morning. :console:

[Giggles]

No livestream? Looks like a bag of cans and a big Clive marathon it is for me so.

[Baz]

No livestream? Looks like a bag of cans and a big Clive marathon it is for me so.

Oh go on then, Live stream it is.

[-james-]

:rave:

[Shindig]

Big Clive Marathon is wrestler's gimmick waiting to happen.

[igor_balis]

Was meant to go to the casino with my mate to play some poker on Friday, but I have no idea where my fucking ID is. I probably would have lost a load of money to some nerds in hoodies and sunglasses anyways, so probz for the best.

[igor_balis]

Going through an old box of Pokémon/Yu-Gi-Oh/MTG cards I have in my bedroom. I've gone through all the Pokémon cards and amazingly there's a few actually worth something. They're listed on eBay and probably gonna go for about £100 total which feels mad to me.

[Foe]

More details.

I got rid of all my old Pokémon cards like 10-12 years ago. Must’ve been super nostalgic flicking through them again. :drool:

[igor_balis]

More details.

I got rid of all my old Pokémon cards like 10-12 years ago. Must’ve been super nostalgic flicking through them again. :drool:

Reverse holo sandslash, sells for £20 ish, first edition holo machamp £10, reverse holo dark vaporeon goes for £50-75ish and £50ish for blaines arcanine (holo) if i'm lucky

[Baz]

All holo Machamps are first edition.

[Shindig]

Spent the last 3 hours looking after the nephew. A mess was made. And possibly some things were broken. Kids.

[Manc]

Kicking dogs is one thing.

[Shindig]

I said 'possibly'. By the looks of things, the discs he decided to slide across the floor aren't gouged to fuck.

[igor_balis]

Been offered £50 for the dark vaporeon (as well as £15 from a chancer).

Counter offer 85, will probz take 70. Not bad.

[Baz]

Have you got any cards of the “big 3”? (Charizard, Blastoise, Venusaur) and dragonite, I guess.

Also worth checking if you have any 1st edition (besides machamp) or shadowless.

[igor_balis]

Have you got any cards of the “big 3”? (Charizard, Blastoise, Venusaur) and dragonite, I guess.

Also worth checking if you have any 1st edition (besides machamp) or shadowless.

I've got a dragonite but it's non shiny, non first edition and it's absolutely fucked lol.

[mo]

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerds.

[igor_balis]

My mate does a bit of music on the side, plays guitar and bass for a couple of tribute bands etc, including being the main backup bass player for Chesney Hawkes, lol.

This weekend old Chez was playing some naff festival in Tewkesbury, and our mate sorted VIP backstage passes for me, his girlfriend and our other mate. Was pretty funny hanging out with noted E-listers such as The Wurzels, Connie Talbot, the Hoosiers, a George Michael tribute and a Queen tribute.

We were loitering round the back of the stage during the end the Hoosiers and one of the security lads tried to usher us on to the side of the stage for goodbye Mr A - when we were like nah you're alright mate he said something about us being nervous - bless him, I think he thought we were overwhelmed hoosiers superfans rather than indifferent mates of Chesney Hawkes' bass player lol.

All in all, a pretty pleasant afternoon. Chesney himself is lovely, as are the rest of his band. The music was, overall, a bit rubz, but it was quite interesting seeing how a pretty low rent event like that functions logistically behind the scenes.

[igor_balis]

Oh and I got to see the Ringo for the bootleg Beatles having his big prosthetic nose stuck on. The bootlegs were absolutely the best thing on the bill and I have no idea how they got booked for that.

[igor_balis]

https://scontent-lcy1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/296247326_460093375661995_4194235509389224221_n.jp g?_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=ae9488&_nc_ohc=OnA1vrE7qDMAX-o4Vkj&_nc_ht=scontent-lcy1-1.xx&oh=03_AVJxin8Cpq8GfPoDVoMjzCp-XoLRkz72-MMs_jdVDtprAQ&oe=62E7D25A
https://youtu.be/FX88Kmp_dmc
Me and my big stupid beardy head and my new superstar mates.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Get Chesney to sign up here please.

[Shindig]

Does he charge less than Vince Russo for Cameo?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Does he charge less than Vince Russo for Cameo?

It's Chesney Hawkes.

You could make a Cameo and charge more than him.

[igor_balis]

Does he charge less than Vince Russo for Cameo?

Shit, I should asked him to film a shout out for tth, my bad

[Lewis]

https://i.imgur.com/uzMXYie.png

igor balis
igor_balis

Born in an NHS hospital. Sick of this Tory government. Neurodiversity (ADD). West Brom/Udinese/49ers. Swears too f***ing much. All rants are my own. He/Him.

[igor_balis]

https://i.imgur.com/uzMXYie.png

igor balis
igor_balis

Born in an NHS hospital. Sick of this Tory government. Neurodiversity (ADD). West Brom/Udinese/49ers. Swears too f***ing much. All rants are my own. He/Him.

:D It's actually impressive how this alt-universe Igor you've created is both really believable based on my appearance and knowing my outlook and interests on a very shallow level, but also exactly the kind of fucking melt I hate more than anyone else, including actual right wing cunts like you. Hats off, like.

[Lewis]

Keep Calm and Carry On.

[Spikey M]

Interesting fact: Igor is every person that has ever attended one of those Cereal and boardgame Cafe's.

[Lewis]

Saves his most 'offensive' joke for when they're at the bar so the barmaid knows what he's all about.

[-james-]

Having some informal beers in the park yesterday for a friend's birthday with some speakers on the go. All good vibes, until a group of about 20-30 youths mostly in balaclavas appear on the horizon. Quickly apparent we need to leave, but a couple have knives and are demanding booze/more tunez (lol). Basically got chased out of the park by a group of children. Couple mates got glassed but nothing major. Police were on it pretty quick and seems like they were mostly known to them. Little shits.

[Spikey M]

2022 and Drill has finally made it to Scotland.

[Lewis]

I doubt they would have messed with formal beers, so you've played yourselves there.

[randomlegend]

Couple mates got glassed but nothing major.

:cab:

[-james-]

:cab:

Maybe glassed isn't the right word. One needed stiches to the back of his head from a lobbed bottle and I think the other has a burst lip and chipped tooth.

[Spikey M]

Gubbed.

[Foe]

Glasgow is shite.

[-james-]

That's the first really dodgy thing I've experienced in 13 years living here. The big speakers were an error in hindsight.

[Don]

Was this an ethnically diverse lot or classic neds? I'm heading up to Glasgow in November for a night out, sounds vibes.

[igor_balis]

https://youtu.be/G13uarFbxFw

Footage from -james- and his mates in the park. They were right to assault you.

[Baz]

For the first time since January I plan on having more than two drinks tomorrow. Meeting The Reid in a pub in town around 4ish, then walking to the rugby (AUS vs ITA) for 7:30ko, then hopefully walk back into town for a few more and then takeaway and taxi home.

Having not slept more than 4 consecutive hours for over 5 months now, I’m not sure it’s a good idea, but oh well let’s see what goes wrong eh.

[SvN]

Why are you not sleeping?

[Shindig]

The shame of Bazbot.

[Spikey M]

Had a baby recently, didn't he (well, Mrs Baz)?

[Don]

I too have lost the thirst for the sesh. Can't tell if it's because of lockdown, settling down or what but it's nostalgic stuff.

[randomlegend]

Gammon.

[Baz]

Why are you not sleeping?What Spikey said.

Hoping 6 months is the turning point. :yn:

[Kikó]

It won't be. Then they start to teethe

[SvN]

Mine is 6 months and he's turned a corner the last few weeks. He goes to bed at 7:30pm, wakes for a feed around 4:30am, then goes back down until around 7:30am. The big change for him seemed to be going into his own room.

Before that he was a nightmare, waking up randomly throughout, sometimes 3-4 times a night. He also wouldn't take a bottle, which meant I couldn't really do anything to help if he wanted feeding. Luckily, he's bucked his ideas up in that area as well.

[Spikey M]

Sleep is a lottery. My girl had reflux and was terrible. She had to be permanently held, day and night for the first 7 months and didn't sleep through until she was 2. My boy slept like a dream from day 1. We had to wake him for feeds and he'd generally go straight back to sleep or refuse the bottle anyway.

[Ben]

We took the plunge and put our 4 month old daughter in her own room from 12 weeks (yeah the advice is 6 months but fuck that). She goes off to sleep about 9pm and she’s good until 6am at the earliest. Maybe she wakes up once or twice during the night but she can be hushed back to sleep in a couple of minutes. She slept until 8.30am this morning.

Sleeping in her own room and some proper food like porridge and mashed banana has really helped her settle into a good sleeping routine we’ve found.

[Boydy]

Mine is 6 months and he's turned a corner the last few weeks. He goes to bed at 7:30pm, wakes for a feed around 4:30am, then goes back down until around 7:30am. The big change for him seemed to be going into his own room.

Before that he was a nightmare, waking up randomly throughout, sometimes 3-4 times a night. He also wouldn't take a bottle, which meant I couldn't really do anything to help if he wanted feeding. Luckily, he's bucked his ideas up in that area as well.

https://www.mother.ly/parenting/device-allows-dads-to-breastfeed/


https://www.mother.ly/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/origin-4734.jpg

[randomlegend]

Sleep is a lottery. My girl had reflux and was terrible. She had to be permanently held, day and night for the first 7 months and didn't sleep through until she was 2.

Having a baby with bad reflux sounds like the stuff of absolute nightmares. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

[Kikó]

My mate had twins during lockdown with both having colic. They were like Vietnam veterans when we first saw them, completely shell shocked.

[Spikey M]

Having a baby with bad reflux sounds like the stuff of absolute nightmares. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

They both had it but responded completely differently. My daughter responded by being ridiculously clingy even by baby standards, and by wanting milk constantly (that she puked up the majority of 10 minutes later without fail).

My son took the opposite route and just refused milk. We used to get about a quarter of what he was meant to have into him. He was eventually hospitalised after falling from the 75th percentile to the 10th over his first few months of life.

Both of them responded to Infant gaviscon and opeprasole / lansoprazole eventually. Or just grew out of it. Who knows?

The first 6 months of their lives were massively stressful, and it's the main reason number 3 isn't going to happen.

That said, babies are boring pricks anyway. It's just part of the long game you have to play to get to the fun ages.

[randomlegend]

Both of them responded to Infant gaviscon and opeprasole / lansoprazole eventually. Or just grew out of it. Who knows?


Yeah, it's basically an open secret in paediatrics that nothing really works for baby reflux. You just keep trying new things for "6 weeks" until they grow out of it.

I tend to just be honest and say it probably won't work, we can try it if you want, they'll eventually grow out of it. Sorry.

I love babies, best age.

[Pepe]

My daughter had reflux when she was a newborn. The idiot "doctor" said it was probably lactose intolerance, so my wife should stop drinking milk, etc. and we should switch to lactose free formula. We lolled her off and the reflux went away after a few weeks. She even ran some test that came negative but said we should drop the lactose regardless just to be sure.

[randomlegend]

My daughter had reflux when she was a newborn. The idiot "doctor" said it was probably lactose intolerance, so my wife should stop drinking milk, etc. and we should switch to lactose free formula. We lolled her off and the reflux went away after a few weeks. She even ran some test that came negative but said we should drop the lactose regardless just to be sure.

As you've clearly already worked out, that doctor is clueless.

[Pepe]

Indeed, which is why she is no longer our daughter's doctor.

The new one is marginally better. They're just there so the nurses can give the vaccines really.

[Baz]

Got my kids’ baptism today. Be glad when it’s over and done with and I’m stood in the grotty labour club with a pint.

[Giggles]

I’m on my way up to Lansdowne on the train for the cup final. Should have time for a few scoops before it.

[Kikó]

Sunday football for me. Playing second in the league so expecting a bit of a run around. Last few weeks before the winter break as well.

[Shindig]

Yesterday I saw an old man so pissed he took 25 minutes to wake up. Faint pulse, faint breathing and his first reaction when he woke was to fall over very, very slowly. For five or ten minutes there was a genuine fear he'd snuffed it.

[Offshore Toon]

Why were you with him for over 35 minutes?

[Shindig]

Waiting for a bus, like.

[Spikey M]

Waiting for an ambulance might have been a better idea, dickhead.

[Shindig]

Someone else already rang for one. No point in me hanging about.

[Lewis]

Plus it won't have turned up yet.

[Waffdon]

My missus was sleep walking last night which was quite an odd experience drunk. Took me far too long to even realise, she just kept walking back and forth to the kitchen (where she belongs, wahey) before going back to bed.

The best bit was her sitting up like The Undertaker and staying in that position for 30 seconds.

[Baz]

Full on kiddy shitfest this weekend. Well, tomorrow.

Swimming at 9.
Netball Christmas party 1-5.
Then some outdoor Christmas "light show" at 5:30.

Did the light show last year and the toasted marshmellows made it all worthwhile. So good. :drool:

Hoping I can drink at the party too (it's at a rugby club) and get the wife to drive, so the day might not be a total letdown just yet.

Plus someone I worked with like 15 years ago (known as Twinny as we share a birthday; long-term Baz subscribers should remember her) is also going the party, so I can possibly ignore my family.

[Boydy]

You lot don't half make having kids sound shit.

[Don]

It really doesn't bode well for us.

[Giggles]

It really doesn't bode well for us.

Everyone just wants you cunts to stop breeding.

[Baz]

https://d274lpn1cqr5ro.cloudfront.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/4.gif

[Manc]

That'll be a PM to Phonics.

[Giggles]

A good lad to dish and not take alright.

[Don]

I fucking love 3-pint-Giggles on the Fridays.

[Baz]

Went a safari park today. Sea lions are mega. :cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

A cousin fell off his ladder today.

He was packing up and felt that there was a gap in the silicone work he had done near a window or something so climbed up and whilst coming down the ladder slipped and he jumped off rather than fall with it.

He drove home, went to the shops and was joking about it. Then his ankle swelled up, pain kicked in and his wife asked if I'd drop them off at A&E. After dropping them off I had almost made it back home when they called and asked if I could take them to another A&E as this one was full and not dealing with minor injuries.

He was 100% sure that nothing was broken.

At the other A&E he was told that the fibia and ankle is broken whilst his tibia had a crack. The only saving grace was that the fractures hadn't moved and so should only result in a 6-8 week cast.

[Baz]

Avoiding a 5th birthday party for some kid at school to stay home and watch rugby, then the league cup final, and boxing tonight. Off work tomorrow too, albeit to go to a funeral, but still.

[igor_balis]

got battered in rugby town centre Saturday afternoon with my mate who was back home, concluding with me very awkwardly congratulating Chris Wakelin on winning the shootout in the restaurant underneath the cocktail bar we'd been to, and then losing pool to some pensioner in a rough pub (should have got Chrissy boy to come and coach me).

went to Manchester Sunday, went for Armenian food (just a massive pile of grilled meat, 10/10), saw Daniel Kitson at some socialist bar/concert venue in Hebden Bridge last night. Just done all the charity shops in Chorlton, now having hunters chicken and a San Miguel in a bleak Greene King before I head to Piccadilly station. Pretty much a perfect long weekend I reckon.

[Kikó]

Which Greene pub?

[igor_balis]

Which Greene pub?

royal oak, it was pretty grim. middle aged woman was practically passing out in the doorway as she tried to roll a fag

[Kikó]

The spoons across the road is much more interesting. It's a great building.

https://flic.kr/p/LCaXGf

[Baz]

Vasectomy tomoz.

Booked Monday off work to watch wrestling recover.

[Baz]

Saturday sesh in Manchester today, for my birthday which is next week when the trains are on strike.

My mate works in Manchester and drinks there a lot so he volunteered to plan a pub crawl. Starting at Oxford Road the initial plan was:

Cask
Mulligans
Toms or sams chophouse (or both)
Beermoth
City arms

But seeing as the weathers nice, some beer garden pubs have been thrown in the mix:

Peverill of the peak
City arms (can drink on the street outside)
Rain bar
Sir Ralph Abercrombie
Bridge Street Tavern

Very excited to get the kids swimming out the way and get flooding my insides with milkshake and ginger beer in a desperate attempt to stave off intoxication until at least tea time.

[Kikó]

Pevererill is a very good pub. You could try Sinclairs.

[igor_balis]

mates stag in West Wales this weekend. was mostly alright. was him, me, his mate from high school in Wales that I've met loads of times over the years (including at the night out that SincereTheRebel came to a few years ago), plus three posh london lads he knows through his fiancé. they were all reasonably alright for the first evening, but by the end they were just really annoying.

they didn't really do anything that egregious, it just felt like they regressed to the mean of what you'd expect from privately educated insular Londoners. I think it's mostly just a bit sad that three lads my mate isn't even that close to qualified for the stag weekend basically by default. I've been invited to stag dos before as ballast for people who basically have no mates and it's just a bit awkward. I'd actually been on holiday with the guy to the same place four or five years ago (llangrannog, new quay etc), and I'm the last man standing - one ex girlfriend and two mates he's fallen out with and not spoken to for years. is it that common for people in their 20s and early 30s to shed friends like that?

maybe I'm a bad judge, cus I relentlessly hang on to mates in a way that perhaps normal people wouldn't be able to, by virtue of getting on with life shit like careers, relationships etc - it's easy enough to keep in touch with people indefinitely when you're basically just pissing about for your entire life.

[igor_balis]

Best man's speech on Saturday. Usually be shitting it for this kind of thing but I'm pretty relaxed about it. I think it's alright, made the very early decision to go almost entirely sincere and nice rather than the shit comedy roast approach.

There's nothing more excruciating than bad comedy (just look at my posts on here!!), and I think it'll be a pleasant surprise for the happy couple that only one wacky anecdote made it in, about 30 seconds of 5 minutes mostly saying how class they both are. i think a solid 25% of it is about the bride as well, which will win me brownie points (especially as the vast majority of the guests are hers). There'll be a couple of celebs there as well, hopefully the girl that played Luna Lovegood and the lead singer of Wolf Alice are suitably impressed that I finally get my break into showbiz. Maybe they can plug me twitch streaming myself playing international cricket captain.

[Lewis]

Post the routine - sorry - speech.

[Baz]

Sounds boring. 1 laugh in five minutes? Nah.

[niko_cee]

Mate, how have you overlooked the apparent attendance of your original 'cherno'?

[Offshore Toon]

It's obviously not helpful to criticise the speech at this point, but going for sincere is pretty cowardly unless he's a completely boring bloke. Nobody cares how nice they are so this all just seems like a lavish scheme to shag a celebrity.

[Spikey M]

It's the Best Mans job to tell shit jokes and embarrassing stories, not to be a soppy cunt, no matter how sincere it may be. If you want to be Sincere, put on a Caribbean accent and check tyres on the wedding car.

[Offshore Toon]

:D

[Mike]

What you want to do is make jokes that are brilliant but only 2-3 people in the room will get.

[Baz]

What you want to do is make jokes that are brilliant but only 2-3 people in the room will get.Don't do this. :nono:

This is only a good idea if you're a super generous person cos everyone who went to my wedding can now comfortably say 'well at least the best man speech won't be the worst I've ever heard' whenever they go to another wedding.

[Manc]

Would you like to see my wand?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Add a wacky, but completely legit, anecdote in about some weird shit you did with the groom.

[igor_balis]

Add a wacky, but completely legit, anecdote in about some weird shit you did with the groom.

yeah there's one in there, which is enough

[igor_balis]

that was the most excruciating experience of my life but it went well!! I'm still alive, I got laughs and awwws and claps from an admittedly very sympathetic audience. now I can get absolutely wankered once I have a big shit in my ensuite. bye

[Dark Soldier]

Shag a bridesmaid for me lad

[Gray Fox]

He needs to shoot his shot on one of the celebs.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yeah, bang Luna.

[Dark Soldier]

She looks AI generated so he defo should.

[Mike]

We all would

[Offshore Toon]

When I did a speech I made sure it was a wireless mic. Standing there and feeling the crowd glare must be a shit feeling, as opposed to going full WWE and strutting around taking the speech to the people.

[Don]

I'm pretty sure I just wrote some bullshit down about 30 mins before having to do a best man speech for my boy. I was sharing the duties with another cunt and I didn't really know the bride or 95%+ of the guests. He got divorced just over a year later. With great power...

[-james-]

Went to St. Paul's carnival in Bristol yesterday. I have never seen so many crusty sesh gremlins in one place. 100 thousand in attendance I'm told and it pretty much takes over the city center. Mostly a hellscape but we found a nice small dub stage for the last few hours. Got given a bag of DMT and ended the night by rolling it into a spliff, didn't have that on my bingo card.

[phonics]

Went to St. Paul's carnival in Bristol yesterday. I have never seen so many crusty sesh gremlins in one place.

That's just Bristol. A friend of mine was looking for lodgers once and one of the applicants put that their work involves opening connections to the shadow realm and asking if that was a deal breaker.

[-james-]

:D

Yeah I nearly moved here a few years ago, probably for the best because it could well have swallowed me whole. Glasgow is like afternoon tea round GS' in comparison.

[Lewis]

Western Somalia. They use the hippies to fool people.

[Offshore Toon]

DMT should be way more common than it is.

[Dark Soldier]

Had Maccies Friday. KFC yesterday. Just ordered Turkish. Missus been away for ten days and not back for two more weeks. Life is fucking grand lads.

[Dark Soldier]

https://i.ibb.co/brYs2Rj/20230702-144710.jpg

[Spikey M]

How many copies of "The Power of Women" do you have there lad?

[Dark Soldier]

Missus fucking loves it mate. Stacks of the shit everywhere.

[Don]

Those bowels are so abused :cry:

[Dark Soldier]

I've been shitting brilliantly tbf. Absolutely pumping out both girth and length.

[igor_balis]

here was my shit speech btw:

firstly I'd like to take a moment to just appreciate the beautiful surroundings we find ourselves in, a place so classy that I have it on good authority that groom was made to wear a blazer from lost property when he first visited, which must be the first time in his life one could accuse him of UNDERdressing for an occasion, since his usual uniform is somewhere between bohemian poet and 1950s civil servant

I've known groom for 20 years, and he is truly the most infuriating friend to have, but only because his natural intelligence, sense of humour and creativity can easily make you feel very inadequate in comparison. but he doesn't simply coast on his natural, god given talents, but has an incredible drive and sense of perfection in everything he sets his mind to: being funny wasn't enough, he had to be a stand up comedian, being a great musician wasn't enough, he had to be the front man of a band, and even just attending a Coventry night club wasn't enough...he had to fall into a pond first. (at this point I faced my fear, looked at the audience, and said it not into the microphone) this isn't a story that's grown with the telling, it wasn't a puddle, it was a genuine bonafide pond. (turned to look at groom) I think you said "it's hot in clubs. it'll dry me"
perhaps that says more about the standard of bouncers in Coventry but I digress.

as I alluded to, groom is operating on such a higher level it's hard to keep up - I certainly can't - but in bride he has found someone more than his match. I imagine the first time they met was one of the firwt times in his life where it's groom who was the one struggling to keep up.. I'm sure everyone will agree it's clear that bride is absolutely beautiful today, as she is every day, but more than that she is a supremely intelligent, welcoming and funny person, and I've enjoyed every second I've had the good fortune to spend with her. I'm flabbergasted by her work ethic in the world of politics, and while not sure of her long term career goals, I think it would be a travesty if at some point i did not get to brag about my mate being the husband of the prime minister. I'd certainly vote for you.

toast, the end

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

3/10.

[igor_balis]

it helped that the other best man did a far more joke heavy, cheeky speech, and he absolutely nailed his comic timing, which sorta diluted the wussy sincerity of mine.

[Lewis]

igor that was crap.

[Spikey M]

"The other best man" :happycry:

[igor_balis]

"The other best man" :happycry:

I was made best man cus i kinda had to be with our frankly excessively close friendship, but i told him to make the other guy co-best man cus they're also really good friends and it woulda felt like a bit of a snub to him. turns out I fucked up cus he told me something like "I really didn't wanna fucking do it, but no matter how many subtle hints I dropped he still insisted", oops, sorry mate

[Giggles]

How much were you hoping someone would ask to see it?

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, that was poor but I've seen worse.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bet he didn't even fuck Luna, ffs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The one chance you get to tell zany, wacky, out-there stories to a captive audience and that happens.

[Shindig]

Nah, when it's in front of mostly family, you can't pull that off.

[-james-]

I mean imagine posting your best man speech on here ffs

[-james-]

I just watched Aftersun which was a terrible choice for a comedown Monday.

[Pepe]

Are those speeches mandatory in a wedding? If so, I am glad I never had one.

[Offshore Toon]

Nah, when it's in front of mostly family, you can't pull that off.
Of course you can, and any decent wedding wouldn't be mostly family.

[Shindig]

This is just me talking me talking from personal experience. My big boomer family dwarfs every one that's married in.

[Manc]

I'm heading up to Northumberland for a few days. Base is in Alnwick. Recommendations welcome.

[SincereTheRebel]

I have a serbian wedding party this evening. Ive never been to a wedding in thr balkans before. As far as weddings goes, please see below a ist of the countries who i believe throw the most extravagant and and most exciting wedding events.

Indian
Nigeria
Everybody else

[Baz]

Yeah Indian weddings are pretty impressive.

[Kikó]

I'm at a Portuguese wedding today. Can confirm Catholic weddings aren't extravagant.

[SincereTheRebel]

I have a serbian wedding party this evening. Ive never been to a wedding in thr balkans before. As far as weddings goes, please see below a ist of the countries who i believe throw the most extravagant and and most exciting wedding events.

Indian
Nigeria
Everybody else

Was good. The language barrier wasnt difficult to deal with. All the people were friendly. All the women are long and slim, and they all want to dance with you. :D

[Lofty]

I'm at a Portuguese wedding today. Can confirm Catholic weddings aren't extravagant.

Italian weddings have 20 courses at the reception.

[SincereTheRebel]

I went to the theatre to watch The Lion King. Its was sensational. I had no idea it would have been that phenomenal.

[Spikey M]

I'm going out with some of the School Dads tonight and my wife has just given me warning that one of them has split up with their wife. His Mrs was telling the mums that they have been in an "unromantic phase" (eugh) for years and they're now just living together as friends. As a friend, he now babysits while she goes out and gets routed by the FIVE men she is currently dating, and they're far better off now because they talk alot more now. Including about all the lovely sex she's having.

I'm absolutely buzzing for tonight now. Is he a cuck getting off to this shit? Or is he just bottling everything up and he's going to be the next Incel on news for going full Benoit?

Do pubs sell popcorn?

[Don]

Going out with School Dads?

[Dark Soldier]

Hes definitely a Benoit.

Got a date coming round tomorrow spending the night (its a femboy, sincere. yes I will be eating and ploughing anus). Gone wild and ordered wine from Waitrose. Even paid for a cleaner to dig the place out. Full swag.

[Lofty]

Gonna be fun when she gets pregnant, will he babysit for that one too?

[Dark Soldier]

Its clearly gonna end with all the dads going back to theirs to run a train on her while he weeps and wanks in the corner.

[Giggles]

Gonna be fun when she gets pregnant, will he babysit for that one too?

Of course he will the dickhead. There should be some means where he could trade his existence to someone that's dying.

[randomlegend]

Gonna be fun when she gets pregnant, will he babysit for that one too?

I don't think femboys can get pregnant mate.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It sounds like DS is going to try and test that theory tonight.

[Lewis]

Going out with School Dads?

The cuckolding is almost less embarrassing.

[Baz]

One of my school dads has a prosthetic leg.

[Spikey M]

The cuckolding is almost less embarrassing.

It's certainly less embarrassing than being a 30-something virgin.

[Lewis]

It's not embarrassing. Who cares?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's certainly less embarrassing than being a 30-something virgin.

Out here minding my business and I end up catching strays :(

[Dark Soldier]

Lads I'll literally get yas a hooker each mon now

[Don]

Lads, I didn't want to start Friday night toxicity, I'm just intrigued to find out more as it sounds like the sort of gammon concept that would be useful to be familiarised with in case someone mentions it IRL and I have to act unfazed by it.

[igor_balis]

The cuckolding is almost less embarrassing.

yeah having mates what a soy boy

[Spikey M]

Neither a cuck or a Benoit I'm afraid lads. She caught him cheating and this public performance is just a desperate effort on her part to save face.

[Lofty]

Sounds like a cuck masquerading as an alpha male 'yeah I got caught railing some hot model lads so she is letting all of the fat lads at her slimming world club have a ride'.

[Dark Soldier]

Date cried wolf an hour before coming round ,friend in hospital apparently. So it's either real or a flake.

I might just get a hooker.

[Baz]

Some bloke who got sacked from work because one woman didn’t like him has organised a ‘work night out’ but insisted that none of the women in the team were invited, so 7 of us blokes are out round Liverpool tomorrow evening. It was arranged in September and started out as a secret but as it’s got closer to the big day, we basically just openly talk about it in front of everyone who isn’t invited. :harold:

I’m not expecting great things tbh but will be nice to see the sacked guy and my mate who retired a while back, and always nice to have a few drinks and slag off anyone who isn’t there.

[Baz]

Am I an anomaly for never having done coke? Or any drug, for that matter.

[Ben]

Probably.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I am also an anomaly then.

[Shindig]

I've never bothered.

[Offshore Toon]

Once you're not a walking heart attack, we'll book you in for a night with Taz and Waff.

@Ho

[Lofty]

Am I an anomaly for never having done coke? Or any drug, for that matter.

It's absolutely rife these days.

[Don]

Nasty shit really, wouldn't recommend but then I could always handle my drink and was never short of libido.

[7om]

It's absolutely rife these days.

I'm a bit naive to this kind of stuff. How rife are we talking? I could understand the high-flying, ultra successful types doing coke but is little old Ethel down the road doing lines as well? Genuinely interested.

[Giggles]

Everyone has been on coke since the mid 2000's.