What shall your weekend bring?

[Shindig]

So is Kiko trying to adopt you or invite you to a threesome?

[phonics]

Mate just because you'd be embarrassed to acknowledge the existence of people you've spent the last 15 years talking to doesn't make everyone else a closet case.

Bam but kinda to Shinners as well.

[Lewis]

Anyone else picturing bennyboyt and Samadini hiding behind menus across the room?

[phonics]

Sama has literally been to my house so I'd hope for some maturity on that front.

[Giggles]

Sama has literally been to my house so I'd hope for some maturity on that front.

No matter what way you paint it, it's rapey as fuck.

[phonics]

No matter what way you paint it, it's rapey as fuck.

Because social contact terrifies you you miserable bastard.

edit: Honestly the reaction is even weirder than I thought it would be.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's not 2003, the internet is basically the same as not-the-internet these days.

[Giggles]

Because social contact terrifies you you miserable bastard.

edit: Honestly the reaction is even weirder than I thought it would be.

Social contact is fine. Internet meet ups are weird as fuck.

[Lewis]

Internet meets are fine. Taking your wife is a bit odd, but if she wouldn't let you out otherwise then what you gonna do?

[Lewis]

'And don't be telling him anything about us!'

[Boydy]

It's not 2003, the internet is basically the same as not-the-internet these days.

I preferred it when it was all weirdos. The glory days of the internet are over.

[Boydy]

Also, Giggles, we're still on for a game of golf some time, aye?

[Giggles]

Also, Giggles, we're still on for a game of golf some time, aye?

Of course. I'll need some practice first though.

You'll have to give me gone advantage in Loughgall.

[Bam]

Mate just because you'd be embarrassed to acknowledge the existence of people you've spent the last 15 years talking to doesn't make everyone else a closet case.


If I was to meet anyone from here I certainly would not have my wife tagging along.

[Bam]

Anyone else picturing bennyboyt and Samadini hiding behind menus across the room?


:D

[phonics]

She just passed by as they were off somewhere else after. Calm down you literal apes.

[Shindig]

I preferred it when it was all weirdos.

The internet is still weirdos. If anything, there's more of them.

[phonics]

The internet is still weirdos. If anything, there's more of them.

I was speaking to my cousin about Stewart Lee on Wednesday (lives over the road from him apparently) who referenced the Eskimo faced cunt line, so it's congratulations to all the weirdos really.

[-james-]

Been lacking football mates that live near me for a while, so I'm meeting some people off the internet that I've never spoken to for 5 a side this weekend. It's a weird thing getting over the assumption that anyone other than me who signs up to this sort of thing is some sort of weirdo.

[Giggles]

We're all weirdos.

[Lewis]

If I was to meet anyone from here I certainly would not have my wife tagging along.

Do you still get up to Hull now and again?

[SincereTheRebel]

Hold on, there is a seperate whats app TTH group? That must be the 2018 version of those secret child forums that was exposed.

[Kikó]

Talk about an overreaction. It was an after work beer. As the wife left her work she met us and me and her went to where we were going to. You've got some weird formal meeting in your head rather than an informal fucking lager with a mate.

[Boydy]

I might finally buy myself a PS4 this weekend.

[Bam]

Do you still get up to Hull now and again?

No, Mrs Bam isn't interested in her Hull family anymore. :cool:

[Bam]

informal fucking lager with a mate.

:harold:

[Lewis]

That's reminded me of when Mahow got rekt by Chinny telling him he'd love to go for a pint with him, and now I'll be lolling all weekend.

[phonics]

I might finally buy myself a PS4 this weekend.

Get yourself a PC, you can join the discord and speak to people you might one day meet. And then everyone can go mental about it.

[phonics]

I can't believe I described Lewis as looking like a Beefy Ed Norton with Hair and got this response. You let the team down Lewis.

[Boydy]

Get yourself a PC, you can join the discord and speak to people you might one day meet. And then everyone can go mental about it.

I've got a PC.

[Lewis]

What?

[Boydy]

I have a PC.

[Lewis]

Proud of you lad.

[Pepe]

I'd introduce any of you to my wife. Because we're MATES.

[Pepe]

Maybe not Mahow.

[Pepe]

Jk lol.

[Giggles]

Talk about an overreaction. It was an after work beer. As the wife left her work she met us and me and her went to where we were going to. You've got some weird formal meeting in your head rather than an informal fucking lager with a mate.

No we haven't. Who did you say he was, and has she packed a suitcase yet?

[Bam]

I'd introduce any of you to my wife. Because we're MATES.

Lets go for an informal fucking lager, matey. :beer:

[Spikey M]

I'd introduce any of you to my wife. Because we're MATES.

She’s French, MATE.

[Kikó]

No we haven't. Who did you say he was, and has she packed a suitcase yet?

Phonics has already dealt with this.

You're meeting Boydy? SHAME!

[simon]

The jealousy over the Whatsapp group. :cool:

PS. Hi, everyone.

[Giggles]

Phonics has already dealt with this.

You're meeting Boydy? SHAME!

No I'm bloody not. Because it's rapey.

[Kikó]

Why? Is your natural urge to rape when you meet new people?

[Lewis]

Plus who rapes who in that situation?

[Giggles]

Rapey =/= actual raping.

[Bam]

Nothing formal about arranging to meet up for a beer on a message board and having your wife pop by. Just happened by chance.

[Bam]

I'll be at Stratford soon if anyone wants an informal larger with a matey.

[Bam]

Was it Yev that took Elth out on the piss then took him home for a burger after? :lol:

[SincereTheRebel]

Ive never heard it refered to as “a burger” before.

[Giggles]

The furry burger.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Now that sounds rapey.

[Kikó]

Nothing formal about arranging to meet up for a beer on a message board and having your wife pop by. Just happened by chance.

We work next to each other and we were getting the tube from nearby. Do you understand geography?

[Shindig]

Plus who rapes who in that situation?

Rapists. :dc:

[Giggles]

The jealousy over the Whatsapp group. :cool:

PS. Hi, everyone.

Now look what we've done.

[Pepe]

Lets go for an informal fucking lager, matey. :beer:

How about a gelato instead?

[Baz]

Did Mrs Kiko have a lager?

[Boydy]

Bam probably tells his wife he's watching porn when he's on here.

[Giggles]

Did Mrs Kiko have a lager?

She had the lager, Kiko had a cosmo.

[Spikey M]

Bam probably tells his wife he's watching porn when he's on here.

‘Are you talking to strangers online?’
‘Fack off luv, I’m ‘Avin an affair’

[Kikó]

She had the lager, Kiko had a cosmo.

Brew dog Elvis juice.

[Shindig]

No need for profanity.

[Giggles]

Brew dog Elvis juice.

Fair play to her, that's good stuff.

[Kikó]

Shame she packed her bags afterwards 😪

[Bam]

‘Are you talking to strangers online?’
‘Fack off luv, I’m ‘Avin an affair’


She knows about this place but I've never took her on an informal beer with anyone from here.:spikey:

[Giggles]

They've just had a US style fly over after the anthem before the All Ireland final. I never thought we had planes so fuck knows where they got them.

EDIT: 24 aircraft apparently. Fuck me, we should invade someone.

[Spikey M]

You can have Wales if you want.

[Giggles]

You can have Wales if you want.

Only if you promise to keep Northern Ireland until the end of time. And take Donegal too.

[Spikey M]

Only if you promise to keep Northern Ireland until the end of time. And take Donegal too.

Take Liverpool as well and it’s a deal.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Can they have Luton too?

[Spikey M]

Let’s not push it.

[Giggles]

Liverpool and Luton? No wonder you can't agree a deal with our German overlords.

[phonics]

I'm back :cool:

5 cities in 9 days. Made the rookie mistake of not booking Monday off as well though so it's off to work tomorrow.

[phonics]

I have no idea where to post this so:

Some guy just tried to convert me to Christianity. Full blown evangelism. Adam and Eve was real, Noah's Ark happened and he had to kill all of them except Noah. ('Thou shalt not kill' doesn't apply to God apparently.) The works. He called me a slave to Satan if I didn't repent my sins. I said wouldn't that just make me a slave to God and he said 'Yeah but who wouldn't want to be a slave to a God?'

Wild shit. I'm just here waiting for my drug dealer dude.

[Kikó]

Sorry, thought you seemed the type.

[niko_cee]

:D

Sounds like that div who inhabited Oxford Circus for years (probably still does) with his sandwich board and his megaphone.

[Spikey M]

There was an Indian mob in the high street that had been conned into accepting Jesus. They were singing Christian songs with a Bollywood twist sans any actual singing ability. It was hilarious.

[igor_balis]

I spent half an hour this evening installing a virtual machine of windows XP so I can use an antiquated chess game I got off amazon. Surprised by how nostalgic I felt when it played the startup noise.

[phonics]

Igor, not to be rude but you know you can just right click on the .exe for XP right?

https://i.imgur.com/mBL1rMZ.png

PS: BattleChess is the greatest chess game of all time.

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/swallowed-whole/images/0/0a/Rook_Eats_Queen_-_Amiga.gif

[Lewis]

I'm dog sitting. He was sulking because I went to the gym, but I gave him a vanilla slice and he's alright now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I gave my dog anything that had been past the beady eye of Mr Kipling, she would literally shit herself with excitement and then vomit it back up moments later.

[igor_balis]

Igor, not to be rude but you know you can just right click on the .exe for XP right?

https://i.imgur.com/mBL1rMZ.png

PS: BattleChess is the greatest chess game of all time.

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/swallowed-whole/images/0/0a/Rook_Eats_Queen_-_Amiga.gif

No offence taken chief, but it's one of them proper old games where the run as thing doesn't work. Same with theme hospital IIRC. Fancy a game some time? I'm proper shit.

[Lewis]

If he wasn't meant to have all the things you aren't supposed to give dogs, why isn't he dead? #hadenoughofexperts

[igor_balis]

Our old cat used to eat stuff off my mum's plate, cus she could never face telling it off (sure you'll all be gobsmacked to hear this wasn't dissimilar to her approach to parenting), and once the cat had a big bite of a piece of fucking lemon instead of the fish she was presumably going for. Got a good laugh out of the cat's stupid face, then another one for the ridiculousness of my mum telling me off for "being mean to the cat".

[Giggles]

Cats should be punched long before they get near a table.

[igor_balis]

Cats should be punched long before they get near a table.

Aye but tell that to my parents.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/lkKwyjsJGxk/hqdefault.jpg

[phonics]

No offence taken chief, but it's one of them proper old games where the run as thing doesn't work. Same with theme hospital IIRC. Fancy a game some time? I'm proper shit.

I just played on Chess.com for what must be the first time since I was about 15 and realised I had no idea what you were supposed to do at the start. These were how they analysed my play in the very short amount of time I managed to get my queen taken and resigned.

https://i.imgur.com/JmhuJ9m.png

[igor_balis]

I just played on Chess.com for what must be the first time since I was about 15 and realised I had no idea what you were supposed to do at the start. These were how they analysed my play in the very short amount of time I managed to get my queen taken and resigned.

https://i.imgur.com/JmhuJ9m.png

you're about as good as me then, basically

[Shindig]

No offence taken chief, but it's one of them proper old games where the run as thing doesn't work. Same with theme hospital IIRC. Fancy a game some time? I'm proper shit.

I might have to do that to get GTR to work. I hate the PC platform, sometimes.

[phonics]

you're about as good as me then, basically

The double question mark after blunder was exactly how I felt in the moment I clicked my mouse into that position.

[phonics]

A few games later, I'm starting to get the hang of it, I still don't know what an opening move is but I've got a solid closer.

https://i.imgur.com/jZM2ipm.png


edit: In that game I managed to outdo my shameful attempt at this game they called Chess against Igor by making the right move 14% of the time (while he hit 40%) by only making the right decision 9% of the time.

[igor_balis]

If anyone wants an immersive interactive experience you can use the wetherspoons app and buy me and my mates drinks. Table 19 rugby spoons x

[mo]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJeWySiuq1I

[igor_balis]

Managed to put my foot in it quite spectacularly last night.

Me and three of my pals were eating dinner prior to watching some comedy show, and were moaning about some bloke we all know. He used to make really lame and stupid songs back in the day, and I sang a bit of one of them to take the piss out of him, and somehow my brain instead went for a song that one of the fucking people sat next to me had made instead.

It was on his youtube page and was a song he'd made as a video job application for some charity years ago, that he'd NEVER shown any of us and would have no reason to believe anyone would have ever seen. I found it years ago, and had obviously watched it a lot of times to know it off by heart. In that brief brain fart moment, I revealed to him that I'd been loling at him behind his back for fucking years, and I think he would have known I'd have shared that video with pretty much everyone I know at some point, because I'm the kind of cunt who would do that.

I obviously had no way to weasel out of it and just had to roll with it. Rest of the evening was quite tense, with him never talking to me, and our interactions limited to him making sarky comments like "oh yeah, lets go to a pub IGOR wants to go to, he'll DEFINITELY know a good one", and he HATED the comedy as well. Loudly talking to one of our mates about how it was the worst thing he'd ever seen and HOW COULD ANYONE FIND THAT FUNNY. I mean, fair play really.

Today I'm meant to be back in London for his SISTER's birthday party, at which I know nobody except her and him. I think I'll probably be sacking that off.

[Spikey M]

Shag his sister. You’ve got to double down at points like this.

[igor_balis]

Well that basically happened already about 10 years ago, and had added a slight tension to our friendship that HAD just about disappeared at last. Maybe we're just not meant to be mates.

[Giggles]

You have the weirdest fucking life inside that head.

[Disco]

Use the song as your ringtone.

[igor_balis]

I went back to look at it when I got home and he's deleted it off youtube. Sad. The fact I'd never thought to make backups is pretty out of character for me.

[Lewis]

Your only mistake there was not having lolled at the video all those years ago. My friend used to go out with somebody whose best mate was discovered on a dating site looking for other couples to swing with, and, although the news got around, nobody ever mentioned it to them that they knew. How would you not bring that up for a lol at the the first and every subsequent opportunity?

[igor_balis]

Aye, I wish I'd just laughed about it to his face, like I had done the two times I found embarrassing stuff on his computer when we were fourteen. The amputee porn off limewire was pretty bad, but once I saw an mp3 called "hannah" in a weird folder with nothing else in it, and played it while he was having a piss and I just heard him scream and run back to his bedroom to turn it off. Obviously i hit windows+l and restrained him while me and my mate howled with laughter. Turns out it was some song he recorded to win the affections of some girl. Somehow that feels more honourable than this cus at least I didn't do it behind his back.

[Lewis]

It makes you wonder what sort of lengths Luca will have gone to to have that Samsung thing erased from existence.

[Spikey M]

We found a video of my - then 21 year old - colleague lip syncing to some shit on Instagram. The girl that found it let me watch it on her phone, so I did the sensible thing and ‘liked’ it for her. He went home sick after lunch and the video mysteriously disappeared.

[phonics]

Somewhere on the internet there's a remix of the Casino Zone from Sonic 2 where I do a concept rap of being Gary Glitter trying to convince other people to join my gang.

[Shindig]

I'm on a fan commentary of This is England where I sympathise with a racist.

[Baz]

We found a video of my - then 21 year old - colleague lip syncing to some shit on Instagram. The girl that found it let me watch it on her phone, so I did the sensible thing and ‘liked’ it for her. He went home sick after lunch and the video mysteriously disappeared.Thats fair play. If you show someone something in Instagram while logged into your own account, there’s something wrong with them if they don’t hit like.

[Kikó]

I've watched a video of my mate boning someone on youporn. Think he's got it deleted again.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Whatever gets you off, mate.

[igor_balis]

Oh man. My pal is a wannabe professional wrestler, used to do it quite a lot when he lived in the North East, but tonight was his BIG RETURN TO THE RING after a 5 year absence, and his midlands debut. Me and a couple of mates obviously went to go and see him.

It was gloriously bush league, as the kids say, and the audience was EXACTLY what you'd expect. Handful of mad nans shouting for the heels to bloody behave themselves, plenty of people who look like they hang around CEX drinking monster, and the rest were general oddballs (but which group do i fall into??). The main announcer/authority figure looked like the lovechild of Paul Heyman and Willie Thorne, and the end of the first half of the show was a bunch of Peaky Blinders looking rotters trying to kick the shit out of him until the his son came out to save him (who in turn looked like the bloke out of Sum 41 after he'd gotten really fat).

My mate was pretty great, which was nice. You could tell he'd wrestled before, and he was the only person on the show we saw who seemed to know how to do audience interaction. Just getting people to clap along and stuff but it was alright, like. As a whole, it felt just like the backyard thing Louis Theroux went to in weird weekends...obviously.

FIVE STARS

[John]

I really hope that's a Review reference. No other fucker has watched it.

I went to one of those tinpot wrestling shows as a kid and it was actually pretty brutal. The ring obviously wasn't sprung or padded in any way so it was just a load of big blokes flinging eachother onto boards of MDF.

[Shindig]

One of the local feds up here borrowed some of TNA's talent. I could've seen Robbie E at my local sports centre but I thought better of it.

[Dark Soldier]

Went and watched this at The Lowry tonight:

https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2018/aug/19/freeman-review-pleasance-courtyard-edinburgh-fringe-festival

My first theatre experience. Fuck me its class innit

[SincereTheRebel]

I have an old Samsung T220D tv that needs to be mounted to a wall. The part needed to mount it, I can't seem to obtain as the TV was not designed to be mounted to the wall. I'm thinking maybe I could just put the TV on a large floating shelve or even inside some plastic housing unit like they have with the Tvs in prison,.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why does it need to be mounted to a wall if it was not designed to be so?

[igor_balis]

I really hope that's a Review reference. No other fucker has watched it.

I went to one of those tinpot wrestling shows as a kid and it was actually pretty brutal. The ring obviously wasn't sprung or padded in any way so it was just a load of big blokes flinging eachother onto boards of MDF.

I'm afraid it isn't. What's Review? Is it any good?

I'll be honest, it wasn't particularly brutal last night, except for an unprotected chair shot to someone's back. Maybe I'm just a little wuss, but even that made me feel uncomfortable. I think the context of it being in front of about 40 people made it feel a bit unnecessary.

Today I got up at 7am, and made a massive vat of curry for dinner for the next few days, and have done prep for making a similarly huge amount of veggie chili for work lunches after I get back from playing board games. Not having a hangover on a Sunday is doing weird things to me.

[SincereTheRebel]

Why does it need to be mounted to a wall if it was not designed to be so?

I want to mount it to the wall now. Just becuase of limited space for a stand. I think i will have to just get a shelve for it and settle.

[Ian]

Handful of mad nans shouting for the heels to bloody behave themselves

Seeing old clips of British wrestling and from shows at different time periods on the WWE network does show an amazing set of middled aged to elderly women at wrestling shows. One of my favourites is an old New Age Outlaws match where they cut to a woman with massive specs and a perm going word-for-word on Road Dogg's pre-match schtick. Presumably up to and including the "Suck it!" from Billy Gunn at the end.

[Shindig]

Unexpected trip to see the family. My sister wanted to meet up and then decided we might as well go round to mam and dad's as well. Turned out nice, especially when my nephew couldn't get the dregs out of his juice bottle. Rather than discover he has to suck, he took one look at my dad and launched the bottle at him. Kids drink a lot. Or at least this one does.

[igor_balis]

Waiting for my first ever Megabus. Already 15 minutes late. Pray for me lads. X

[Boydy]

Thought the megabus would be your natural habitat tbh.

[Spikey M]

Waiting for my first ever Megabus. Already 15 minutes late. Pray for me lads. X

I did a Megabus from Manchester to London on an Easter Sunday once. It was the day after Swedish House Mafia at the Warehouse Project and it was fucking brutal. The range of pupil sizes and gurns was impressive. The 4 hour trip via every town in between was less so.

It was also the day after John saw me and bottled saying hello after being intimidated by my face paint and Gio-Goi attire.

[Disco]

I had Igor down as a train man.

[Giggles]

Thought the megabus would be your natural habitat tbh.

That's what is have thought too. A box full of craaaaaazy bantz.

[igor_balis]

In fairness any transport I'm on is pretty mega by default. And yeah I'm 100% a train guy usually but it was either 3 hours direct from cov for £35 return or £90 and a four hour journey including getting from Euston to Liverpool Street. Fuck that. It's quite nice tbh, have two seats to myself. Shame about the cunt periodically kicking the back of my seat.

[Giggles]

Ah, a Megabus isn't a party bus.

[John]

I did a Megabus from Manchester to London on an Easter Sunday once. It was the day after Swedish House Mafia at the Warehouse Project and it was fucking brutal. The range of pupil sizes and gurns was impressive. The 4 hour trip via every town in between was less so.

It was also the day after John saw me and bottled saying hello after being intimidated by my face paint and Gio-Goi attire.

Was that SHM?

It took me about a minute to register where I knew your face from, by which time I'd have had more chance of finding MH370 than finding you again.

[igor_balis]

I did a Megabus from Manchester to London on an Easter Sunday once. It was the day after Swedish House Mafia at the Warehouse Project and it was fucking brutal. The range of pupil sizes and gurns was impressive. The 4 hour trip via every town in between was less so.

It was also the day after John saw me and bottled saying hello after being intimidated by my face paint and Gio-Goi attire.
:D. After a recentish eccied Saturday night in London I fell asleep on the last train back to rugby on sunday, got woken up in Birmingham with no phone battery or money on my debit card at 2am. Had to give a taxi driver my phone as a deposit and get 80 quid at an ATM from my credit card once back in rugby.

[Kikó]

I've got red dead 2. 😎

[Baz]

What's a megabus?

[Kikó]

A proper top bus.

[Spikey M]

Was that SHM?

It took me about a minute to register where I knew your face from, by which time I'd have had more chance of finding MH370 than finding you again.

Yeah. I know because it snowed that night and the only other time I went was in the Sunmer.

Top quality night it was as well. I don’t do drugs but still somehow ended up sharing poppers with an over friendly Scouser.

One of the blokes I went with went on to start ‘Underground Audio’ and regularly works with the likes of Loco Dice. His Facebook regularly makes me seeth. He’s just back from ADE in Amsterdam where he had passes to absolutely everything. The lucky cunt.

[Giggles]

What's a megabus?

https://uk.megabus.com

Not a party bus.

[Spikey M]

What's a megabus?


It’s National Express for poor people. More accurately, it’s like someone took the local ‘Number 25’ and extended its route to Cornwall. Stopping at every fucking stop along the way.

[Kikó]

Yeah. I know because it snowed that night and the only other time I went was in the Sunmer.

Top quality night it was as well. I don’t do drugs but still somehow ended up sharing poppers with an over friendly Scouser.

One of the blokes I went with went on to start ‘Underground Audio’ and regularly works with the likes of Loco Dice. His Facebook regularly makes me seeth. He’s just back from ADE in Amsterdam where he had passes to absolutely everything. The lucky cunt.

My mate turns blue doing poppers. True story.

[Spikey M]

My mate turns blue doing poppers. True story.

Dab-a-De-did-he-die?

[Mike]

Going on the ale trail from Huddersfield to Manchester with Baz for a mates 30th. It’s always a good time.

[Giggles]

Between nights booked away for a quick break, a funeral, and a wedding I've just spent my 5th night in a hotel. Thank God I can go home tomorrow.

[igor_balis]

Went for a quiet couple of pints last night which ended up with me doing lines of md and talking absolute shite with my mate and her other mate until 5am. Asleep by 5.30, awake at 7.30, in work at 8.30. I feel both ashamed of my behaviour last night but also proud/amazed that i didn't call in sick today.

[Boydy]

When's the date with the Italian?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

When are the pictures of said Italian coming?

[igor_balis]

tomorrow, never

[Boydy]

I've seen.

[Giggles]

Speaking of weddings, just back from one and at communion time the priest announced that there was regular and gluten free. What the fuck like? They must weigh about half a gram.

[Lewis]

I took the dog for an ice cream, but 'we stop selling it in winter'. Good job we're seven weeks early then love! No. I had to get him some shop-bought cheesecake like a chump.

[Pepe]

What's his favorite flavor?

[phonics]

Buying cheesecake for the dog :D

[Lewis]

What's his favorite flavor?

He seems to like the banana one this place does, but he's normally happy with any of them.

[Pepe]

Brock. :cool:

[Lewis]

http://i63.tinypic.com/2pydxck.png

LAD.

[Boydy]

He's a dog, of course he's happy with any of them. He'd probably eat his own shit if you let him.

[Lewis]

You've never even met him.

[Pepe]

That's the look of someone who has made it in life.

[Lewis]

He's nine in December. Doesn't look a day over five. :cool:

[mugbull]

He looks like he’s deep into the worst hangover of his life

[igor_balis]

I really can't be arsed to go on my date today. Dilemma of working out which I'll regret more out of going or not going.

[Spikey M]

We need the inevitable tale of woe that will follow, you cunt.

[Mike]

You better bloody go after building us up all week!

[igor_balis]

She cancelled! Is it wrong that I'm really pleased? Avoid having to go without any of regret of self-inflicted FOMO.

[igor_balis]

went to a banging house party yesterday. it was scheduled to start at 6, me and two of my mates arrived at 8, it was done by 11.

[Spikey M]

A guy I used to work with has gone to Uni and recently had a HOUSE PARTY at his student accommodation. He invited half of Essex, but as he doesn't actually speak to any of his flat mates, it was all restricted to his bedroom.

After the 8th guest arrived, they took it to the local park instead, and - because London - 3 of them got mugged.

[Shindig]

Beautiful.

[igor_balis]

A guy I used to work with has gone to Uni and recently had a HOUSE PARTY at his student accommodation. He invited half of Essex, but as he doesn't actually speak to any of his flat mates, it was all restricted to his bedroom.

After the 8th guest arrived, they took it to the local park instead, and - because London - 3 of them got mugged.

:lol: that's amazing.

I got mugged once, actually. It was shit.

[John]

My mate put four screenshots of his phone home screen into our group chat earlier, absolutely baffled as to why none of them was showing us what he was seeing. He'd cracked his screen. He was sending screenshots to show us his screen was cracked. I could not be happier.

[Giggles]

:D fucking hell

[Lewis]

Me and the old man went to the Brooklands Museum today, which is pretty good, and Mercedes-Benz World, which isn't really. Interesting reading about their history though. For a massive company, they were remarkably quiet from the mid-thirties to the fifties. They just seem to have not done anything.

[Shindig]

Hanging with the family for the nephew's christening. It went pretty well, despite my voice dying overnight from this bullshit cold. Bairns are class. Better day than yesterday's gig. I forget just how rough the late buses through Gateshead get. They're always full of drunken shites that smell of sugar puff piss.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Me and the old man went to the Brooklands Museum today, which is pretty good, and Mercedes-Benz World, which isn't really. Interesting reading about their history though. For a massive company, they were remarkably quiet from the mid-thirties to the fifties. They just seem to have not done anything.

You should have popped round for an aperitif. Actually, you shouldn't, but those places are both 200 yards from Korea, as was. Happy times.

[Lewis]

If anything could have topped ignoring the warning sign and shuffling up the track then that would have been it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

People walk on that all the time. There are hidden bits away from the actual museum where you can walk and no one would ever see you, even if they wanted to, which they don't.

[Lewis]

Oh well. That Mercedes complex is a weird thing. Why is it there? You could understand it in their own town, but why are they offering people potted histories, race simulators, and fifteen-hundred quid skidpan experiences here?

[Shindig]

Maybe the Germans ran the town for a week in the '40s?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh well. That Mercedes complex is a weird thing. Why is it there? You could understand it in their own town, but why are they offering people potted histories, race simulators, and fifteen-hundred quid skidpan experiences here?

Brand presence, I guess. It's a good location for corporate days out and that sort of thing. Samsung and Sony both have massive sites nearby, among others, and McLaren are just down the road as well.

[-james-]

Flat to myself, big fuck off pizza, couple of bottles of beer and a shit FA cup tie on the telly. #bliss

[Baz]

I’m in Keswick.

[Shindig]

I'm doing nowt. The Christmas market is in town so that'll be clogged up with all sorts of wankers.

[Spikey M]

Tis the season, you miserable cunt.

[Shindig]

There is no God in Durham. Only the Chinese. And I hate getting around town when those 'quaint medieval streets' bottleneck everyone everywhere.

[Disco]

I'm taking down a century old stone wall and 'ruining the traditional aesthetic of the town' while I'm at it.

[mugbull]

I’m going snowboarding in a foot of new powder

[mo]

I'm going to see Father Christmas.

[Baz]

I’m in Keswick.There’s a used (well, unraveled; I haven’t examined it) on the window ledge of the en suite bathroom in the lodge I’m staying in. :moop:

Missed the keyword: condom

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was there recently. Keswick, that is, not your used johnnie infested lodge. It's rather nice.

[SincereTheRebel]

I lost a pub quiz yesterday because when you name all the world oceans. There should only be four. The fifth southern ocean is incorrect.

[SvN]

He's half Vulcan, half human. Fact.

[igor_balis]

Went to probably my favourite ever club night last night to celebrate my birthday, which is tomorrow. Spellbound in Brighton, alternative 80s night, DJed by Simon Price. Great mix of indie disco classics and more surprising tracks I just can't imagine being played at any other club nights. Just a really nice relaxed atmosphere, and a decent majority of the people in attendance clearly remember the 80s from when it was actually happening. My group of late-20s people were just about the youngest people there. Would recommend.

[Baz]

Happy birthday.

[igor_balis]

thanks honey

[Lewis]

Armageddon is on Channel 5, and we are moments away from the biggest pop in cinema history: the second Armadillo turning up.

[Lewis]

There it is. :drool:

[igor_balis]

Depending on his ability to catch the last train, we're about 45 minutes away from a big festive TTH meet...

:sherlock:

[Boydy]

Who is it?

[Lewis]

Giggles.

[Giggles]

Can't wait.

[Shindig]

Expect a post in the relationship thread in an hour detailing how he bottled the shag.

[igor_balis]

:(

[igor_balis]

http://i66.tinypic.com/2ebd91d.jpg

Me and :sherlock: enjoying the ufc

[phonics]

What an absolute piece of shit. I’m three foot taller than this gnome.

[John]

You don't look at all well, Phonics. Is there a bag of chemo medicine hooked up just off camera?

[Shindig]

When has he ever looked well?

[phonics]

Thank Igior for me choosing not to be mean to either of you.

[Bam]

:face:

[Spikey M]

Must have been some blowjob.

[Lewis]

You don't look at all well, Phonics. Is there a bag of chemo medicine hooked up just off camera?

I think he looks unusually healthy and filled out. Well done Phonics. The Shooter McGavin hair doesn't help like.

[phonics]

I think he looks unusually healthy and filled out. Well done Phonics. The Shooter McGavin hair doesn't help like.

You calling me fat mate?

[Lewis]

By your own standards yes.

[Baz]

Every three months the best pub in the world (which happens to be in St Helens) has a beer festival, where they go from having the normal range of about 12 ales, to having about 25. Went there yesterday and it was as good as ever - apols if you follow me on Twitter cos we rate all the beers on Untappd and it goes on Twitter - and then at half five I met my mate after he’d finished work. I was drunk by now so stuck to lemonade in Wetherspoons and then we were walking to another pub that sells ale cos I was ready to get back in it when I had to storm in and ask if I was hallucinating cos the grotty bar we used to go A LOT ten years ago was open again. It has changed its name from Bar Bullion to The Vault but my god it was back! So we went in there (they do ale now too so happy days) and it was amazing. My mate bought everyone in there a shot to celebrate, and I spent at least an hour talking to a stranger about GG Allin cos he had a ponytail so I just went up to him and declared he must like rock n roll. Took a pic with him too, cos that’s what I do.

But yeah was good. Just been for a curry tonight too so a pretty good weekend. :)

I’m still buzzing that the Bullion is back.

[Shindig]

Lunch with the family for the nephew's birthday. The pub had a cocktail cabinet with Pacman, Centipede, Donkey Kong and three other classics. I wish I'd spotted it before we were leaving. :moop:

[SincereTheRebel]

Cable-tying all the cables in my house this weekend. Ive got the velcro strip versions which means they can be used forever. Not exciting.

[Queenslander]

In every room of your house?

[SincereTheRebel]

In every room of your house?

Im going to start with my gaming command center and see how it goes. I imagine it will take an age and I will quit half way through.

[igor_balis]

I work in a pretty big branch of a big bank in a pretty big town. There's a much smaller (~10k population) town about 7 miles away that also had a branch of this bank, and I used to work the odd shift there. The branch there shut down at Christmas. A huge percentage of customers have just been taught by their kids how direct debits and ATMs work, but the people who actually need to come to a bank have to come to our branch now.

Anyway, there's 3 pubs there who do their business banking with us, and the managers are all really sound funny blokes, so me and my colleague jokingly agreed to get a bus over there and do a mini pub crawl. We actually did it tonight.

Definitely about the 50th time I've done something crap because I've convinced myself beforehand that the inherent crapness of an idea is the very thing that'll make it fun or at least funny. As it was I misread the bus timetable so we had to get a £20 taxi, then get a pint in three really crap pubs. In pubs 1 and 2 the managers weren't working. In pub 3 he only came out when the girl on the bar heard our pathetic story and buzzed the bell for him. He came downstairs looking confused, pissed off and disheveled. Saw us, shook our hands, said "alright lads, sorry i'm feeling rough, gonna go back to bed", then went back upstairs. Smoking outside afterwards I said to my workmate "that 5 second conversation was literally the only reason we've come here".

We then paid another £20 for another taxi back home after I'd convinced my mate not to "have a look round" the bona fide brothel on the high street.

[Queenslander]

Cleaning the bathroom and I have definitely over done it with the bleach fumes. Time for me to drop tools and drink beer at the pub.

[SincereTheRebel]

Cable-tying all the cables in my house this weekend. Ive got the velcro strip versions which means they can be used forever. Not exciting.

It was really satisfying in the end. Everything is neat and tidy with sticky labels on each wire. Nice.

[Queenslander]

Photos?

[SincereTheRebel]

cables are all tucked away nicely. I would have to move desks and tables to show off the work .

[Spikey M]

Should have thought ahead. Get them shifted.

[SincereTheRebel]

Don't tell me what I should have done.

[Spikey M]

Sorry.

[Queenslander]

Well this is awkward.

[Spikey M]

Don't tell me how to feel.

[Bam]

Well this is awkward.

[bruhnaldo]

Finally got around to cleaning the inside of my car out after a bit of neglect. Felt really good getting it all vacuumed and tidy. Like a brand new car.

Anyone have any handy tips for streak-free windows?

[SincereTheRebel]

Window spray and balled up newspapers

[bruhnaldo]

Used to do the newspaper bit when we still got the local paper and that does work wonders.

I tried to just do it with a regular chamois cloth, even using the good ol' RainX, but still found streaks last night.

Might have to just pick up one of the little cheap circulars I guess.

[Giggles]

Dunno where else to put this.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/02/15/upshot/british-irish-dialect-quiz.html

https://i.imgur.com/DL0d28E.png

[Mike]

https://i.imgur.com/LNETi66.png

[Baz]

https://i.imgur.com/Klu22bF.png

[Mike]

Southern Fairy Baz

[Baz]

fak off u paff.

[-james-]

It's put me around Norwich which is very wrong.

[Spikey M]

It wouldn't show my result on my phone. Which is even wrongerer.

[Lewis]

My results also reflect where I am from.

[Spikey M]

Portsmouth?

[Shindig]

They got me right. They should, given how specific geordie is.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They got me right.

[Lewis]

Portsmouth?

*changes vote*

[Spikey M]

As if anyone in Hull says 'mother'.

[Lewis]

I say 'mam', but that would have to be written as 'me mam', and then before you know it I'm that idiot who writes in jibberish for that Jock newspaper.

[Giggles]

Mam or ma. It's always so hard to find a card that doesn't say Mum.

[Waffdon]

Maw

[Baz]

Our ma.

Pronounced exactly like the first parts of Har Mar Superstar (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g98QXm42mmA).

[Giggles]

I still need to record that wdytoe speaking of accents.

[Baz]

I still need to record that wdytoe speaking of accents.Get on it. :drool:

[Giggles]

Get on it. :drool:

I've to drive to Cappaquinn on Monday, it will be done.

[Spikey M]

:drool:

[igor_balis]

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/51966198_10161354647755384_7820397317231476736_n.j pg?_nc_cat=101&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=2db28b3fab26f01c26f30604f27d7920&oe=5CF9CF4F

close enough, though i'm basically right at the bottom of the shaded area.

[igor_balis]

watched a poker tournament from 2004 until 1am last night, up at 7, in work 8.30-1.30, fifa tournament i didn't win from 2-7, QUIPLASH 8-11, then went out into town until about 2.

a friend of a friend offered me his bag of drugs to "do a gum of", but my licked thumb accidentally managed to pick up a big rock of it, so i just kept it in my palm until i went home, and have since cut and insufflated it. was almost certainly paracetamol, pro plus and flour but the element of (accidentally, as usual) being a massive twat and not spending any money has given me the illusion of fun.

[Queenslander]

http://i63.tinypic.com/2rwvk87.jpg

[Queenslander]

I still need to record that wdytoe speaking of accents.

Do it!

[igor_balis]

Do it!

+1

[Lewis]

Nowhere else to stick this, but I was leaving the gym earlier, and somebody I have never spoken to goes 'Here mate, you're a chef aren't you', as if for me to confirm it to his gym buddy. I said no, he asked where I worked, I said where, and then he tells me that someone told him I was a chef. What sort of shit rumour is that to be the subject of?