December: Rockin' around the Premier League

[niko_cee]

Dismembered in the morning,
You're getting dismembered in the morning!

Scansion's not quite there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I simply don't understand how Romero hasn't gone there. Fulfils all the requirements for a red. They just stick with the initial cowardly decision because it's easiest.

[Dave.]

I simply don't understand how Romero hasn't gone there. Fulfils all the requirements for a red. They just stick with the initial cowardly decision because it's easiest.

I was just about to post this.

[Ben]

Horrendous. One of the most obvious red cards I’ve seen all season.

[Shindig]

Hey, we got one back. Blushes spared.

[Don]

Ive just set my alarm for 8pm. Barca vs Girona. Girona are top of la liga. See what they are about.

Terrorist twins with some fucking incisive play :drool:

[niko_cee]

lol

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bit of a dust up at the end of Roma v Fiorentina. My old mate kakkers got a cartellino rosso for a big old lunge, much to Mourinho's sarcastic amusement, never seen Rom move so fast to be honest. Finished 1-1 on goals and 9-11 on players, or at least it did at the whistle, some narky Serb managed to make it 9-10 with a massive seethe during the handshakes. Some things never change.

[Don]

Yeah Girona might be churning out the finest footballing spectacle you've ever seen. Making De Zerbi look like Dyche.

[John Arne]

I look forward to the majority of the Guardian sports writers issuing full apologies for Dyche.

[Waffdon]

Pochettino has come out and said he wants a defender, midfielder and striker in January.

Blud is faded.

[phonics]

Another half a billion should see them cracking into the top half of the table.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The squad is more or less exactly where it should be. Possibly should be even lower due to the fact we've had Jackson running around up front all year and burgled three points at Spurs.

[Waffdon]

Yes, because Bournemouth, Fulham, Brentford, Everton and wolves all have better players than what Pochettino has at his disposal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I said squad, not players. There are three or four individuals in Chelsea's squad who are better than what they have, but it hasn't been put together to form a football team, it's been put together to appear on a balance sheet.

[Don]

Jimmy is bang on, 6th on xPTS, as with Potter, the manager is doing great work. Nkunku returning will see them transform let alone one or two good signings.

[Waffdon]

He’ll blow his other knee up within a week of playing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jackson owes us three and a half goals and Enzo two and a half, that's a large proportion of the issue right there.

[Ben]

When's Nkunku actually back? He's not played yet has he?

[Waffdon]

He’s been back in full training for over a week and on the grass running for over a month. Being extra cautious with him which is understandable. Presume he’ll be on the bench for Saturday.

Chuenwuenka and Lavia should hopefully be on the pitch by the end of the month or early January as well.

Ridiculously easy run of fixtures until the 31st of January so not really an excuses for Pochettino not to turn it around.

[Luke Emia]

Ridiculously easy run of fixtures until the 31st of January so not really an excuses for Pochettino not to turn it around.

I feel like this is all Chelsea and United fans ever say.

[phonics]

A club that has been 12th for a calendar year cannot call any games easy.

[Waffdon]

I don’t think he will win the games but he really should. Wolves, Palace, Fulham, Sheff Utd and luton.

Man Utd have been winning them games so I’m not sure what your point is re: them having easy games. They’re ahead of Newcastle and still only 6 points off 4th

[Jimmy Floyd]

A club that has been 12th for a calendar year cannot call any games easy.

This is the problem with the twitter fanbase, these kids have been brought up through the Russian spud money era thinking that Chelsea is a huge club that automatically finishes top 6 unless something is terribly wrong, the truth is very different.

[Raoul Duke]

I was looking forwards to seeing Nkunku as he had a great season last year (?) but he's just been dead for the whole season. Wonder if he'll be an Ndombele and end up in Turkey in a couple of years.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If there's one thing that signposted to me in the summer that it was all horribly wrong it was the fact that we sold Lewis Hall (and Livramento I suppose if you go further back) for accountancy reasons despite having horrendous full back issues. That was the one thing that demonstrated Boehly is here to build a squad of assets and not a football team. It will come good eventually as those assets mature but fans will have to accept zero success and zero attempt at success until 2027, maybe 2028, and I'm not sure they are emotionally ready for that. This is football the baseball way.

[Shindig]

Lewis Hall is on loan with an option to buy. There's slight hope you could keep him.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's an obligation to buy, not an option.

[Shindig]

So it is. What an odd choice. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Like I said, an accounting trick. It's a sale which is paid in 24/25 financial year. Can't wait for the fiscal surprises that await.

[niko_cee]

Also, isn't there a slight fly in the ointment if the plan is to bring through a young group, when you end up paying more for said young group than you would a fully fledged win now team? Like, every other team in the league will continue to strengthen, so this bunch of 'high potential' players is only going to end up being as good as the rest of the decent teams in the league in a best case scenario, and more likely worse, more expensive and on stupidly long contracts.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He presumably thinks that the long contracts will allow him to sell the success stories for big fees down the line, and then... not sure, really.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, but unless you unearth a player so astronomically good that you'd never really want to sell them, then most of these players are already going to be on more money than they are going to get anywhere else. It's a curious concept.

All-in on Kendry Paez being Messi II I guess.

At which point he'll sit on his hands and force a move to Barcelona/Real/Saudi Arabia for not much.

[Raoul Duke]

It's weird to take a TOP 4 CLUB and turn it into some banter feeder club like Dortmund. Who gets into football to make money?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Americans. I don't know if I've mentioned this on here before, but they're all morons. This is the football equivalent of the Bay of Pigs Invasion.

[Giggles]

Down to Lee Carsley and Chris Hughton apparently. I presume the former is only there to make it look like they at least tried before they announce Hughton.

[SincereTheRebel]

Scenes in Turkey as the referee has veen wrote off and stomped after the game.


https://twitter.com/fhd1905erman/status/1734289514766512351?t=2T_5jqjCcpRiTgK507VnCw&s=19

[SincereTheRebel]

https://twitter.com/fhd1905erman/status/1734290030921658752?t=Sna_KZxd0H7JsAsPKNWAUA&s=19

1-0 down and they equalize in last minute. Causes president to run on pitch and right hook the referee. Passion.

[Shindig]

That's one more towards referees being permanently stationed in the VAR room. They can hand out decisions over the PA.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/onesport/cps/800/cpsprodpb/132D4/production/_131984587_gettyimages-1841161698.jpg

Finally some accountability for the vile conspirators. I've thought for a long time that there was a clear agenda against *checks notes* Ankaragucu.

All of Turkish football suspended.

[Boydy]

1734319872513851588

What the hell?

[Yevrah]

Yeah, it's mad isn't it. Small acorns grew from a ridiculously shrewd investment as I understand it. I'd be tweeting Ronaldo all day for the lols if that were me.

[Don]

The rumours of striking reinforcements for Chelsea have Osimhen (big yes), Toney (big yes) and Gyokeres (gahhahahahahahhalololololool).

[Waffdon]

He played for Brighton so that ticks off one of Paul Winstanely’s criteria list

[Waffdon]

3 months for Reece James. Just give up, son.

[Spikey M]

Chiellini has retired apparently. What a career that man had.

[John Arne]

Just watched highlights of Barca-Girona. Biggest takeaway was Barca claiming 42,000 fans.... I reckon there was 16,000 max. The whole top tier (of the already stadium) was empty.

[Ben]

Shohei Ohtani has agreed to defer $680m (£541m) of his $700m (£557m) deal with the Los Angeles Dodgers, according to multiple US sources including the MLB, external.

Ohtani joined the Dodgers on a 10-year contract - in the biggest deal in the sport's history - after his contract with the Los Angeles Angels expired.

He has agreed to take home $2m (£1.6m) per year until 2034 when he will be paid $68m (£54m) per year until 2043.

Look at this mental shit from our favourite Chelsea owner.

For those who don't know baseball, Ohtani is probably the number one player in the sport right now. And Boehly has somehow managed to convince him to take just $2m a year (officially, anyway) through his prime years.

[Lofty]

Because he will be getting paid mega cheese later on, no doubt he will be raking it in on endorsement deals now to supplement it.

[Waffdon]

Apparently the Jap was the one who suggested it.

Speaking of Todd, the PL clubs have rules in favour of stopping 5+ year contracts. Probably the best news Chelsea have had all year. No more children being bought in.

Edit: Ornstein said Chelsea voted in favour of the rule. :D proper 4D chess move if things hadn’t turned out to be a mess

[niko_cee]

Baseball is such a weird sport. He'll still be on for that $680m even if he leaves/gets traded won't he? Not sure football, even Premier League football, has the sort of sustained revenues absent actually being any good to maintain the madness.

On the dodgy side deals front, I'd be amazed if City's players weren't secretly being promised all sorts of post career riches seeing as their wage bill always seems to be 'reasonable'.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd do the same as Shohei, imagine having a decade of annual £50 million payments in your fairly distant future.

[Max Power]

Is that normal for baseball? Paying him when he’s 50 and long retired?

[Danny]

Other than the hero that is Bobby Bonilla I don’t think so.

He’s smart, lets the team invest the money now and he keeps getting paid after he retires. Even better if he leaves Cali and doesn’t have to pay their state income tax on it.

[Ian]

Is that normal for baseball? Paying him when he’s 50 and long retired?

No but then American sport (or at least baseball and the NFL but I imagine NBA and probably hockey are the same) regularly do contracts where the money is absolutely guaranteed even if they turn out to be awful and they want to cut them or trade them or whatever. The real wheeze, before they decided this was too cretinous even for America, was when the guy who was the first pick in the draft semi-regularly immediately became the best paid player in the league.

[Lofty]

Arsenal with no options at centre half other than Saliba and Gabriel in a dead rubber is alarming.

[Waffdon]

Managers not playing any academy players in these sort of games really is dumb and annoying.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They're always playing for coefficient points, prize money and the like.

[Don]

Also playing some frail academy kid at CB up against elite level attackers has the potential to ruin careers.

[Lofty]

Good goal by Nketiah, not sure how PSV haven't scored given the amount of times they've broke through.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Schlager has money on Benfica, he's just let Dire Maria score direct from a corner.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Who'd be a physio, a month or so of thrusting your hand into Harry Maguire's groin beckons.

[Manc]

The state of both benches.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Think Neuer might chuck one in to help United second half, he doesn't look like he's concentrating.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Madrid missing a penalty and then Union Berlin scoring right after :drool:

[CJay]

Bayern are seriously lacking in any kind of passing capability in midfield. The Kimmich - Goretzka combo leaves them wide open and neither of them really have the technique to dominate against an extra man in midfield.

[niko_cee]

Maguire getting injured is sad times. Pretty sure that's happened right before a Liverpool game before as well, and they were sadly much better for it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pretty gutless 25 minutes after half time from the red devils. Surely you just have to give it a go.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Europe is overrated anyway.

[-james-]

What's the quickest anyone's ever been sacked after winning manager of the month?

[Jimmy Floyd]

What's the quickest anyone's ever been sacked after winning manager of the month?

Now this I know. Avram Grant and Carlo Ancelotti joint record holders at 16 days apiece.

[Kikó]

We're completely without a goal scoring threat now that cheat mode Rashford has reverted to mean.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Where is he tonight? Decent exhibition on at the Whitworth perhaps?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cabral with a stunning finish to send Benfica through to the Europa League.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1734693307861565724

:drool:

[Raoul Duke]

Bournemouth > Bayern

[Don]

That was a good practice run for their best attempts at damage limitation come Sunday. And not to see Maguire, Bruno and Shaw on Sunday :( Being deprived of the latter two losing their heads is a massive shame.

[niko_cee]

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/onesport/cps/800/cpsprodpb/132D4/production/_131984587_gettyimages-1841161698.jpg

Finally some accountability for the vile conspirators. I've thought for a long time that there was a clear agenda against *checks notes* Ankaragucu.

All of Turkish football suspended.

Whilst this is obviously entirely unacceptable, I couldn't help but raise a smile at the picture of the ref that was subsequently released.

https://images.lbc.co.uk/images/622047?crop=16_9&width=660&relax=1&format=webp&signature=eHSbNVA0lSl4BZU7dHtgmzYb8QA=

Lawyers no doubt already at the ready.

Erdogan's probably showing him a bet his refereeing has cost him given the guy in the background looks like he's just been told the patient is going to die.

[Spikey M]

:D

I'd do the same tbf. Dat out of court settlement.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He did get kicked in the head by a load of fans afterwards, so that's probably what has him in Michelin Man gear if anything does.

[Lofty]

Need to tell them he can't achieve erection any more to really sell it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've watched a lot of Newcastle lately and Almiron really costs them going forward, his execution is so b-tier, happens again there from a yard out. The kid Miley is amazing to watch though, he picks options like a 30 year old veteran. Once he gets a bit rangier he'll be a serious footballer.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I wouldn't get rid of him but he shouldn't be starting by next season.

[Waffdon]

PSG are properly minging

[Gray Fox]

These Milan CMs are terrible. It's like they're contractually obliged not to play a forward pass.

[Waffdon]

Could do with Newcastle staying 3rd in the group so the EL bogs them down further

[niko_cee]

Is that you with your Chelsea hat on?

:D

I wouldn't worry. They're plenty shit enough to bog themselves down, although not that bad.

[Waffdon]

I’m not that delusional. :lol:

It would just be quite nice to see them fall off again. I’m not sure they can even spend that much in January. Suppose they can get more loan players in.

[niko_cee]

I heard the other day they were meant to be loaning half the Saudi League.

Also read they quite fancy Mourinho when his contract is up next summer. I've always thought Newcastle, to follow in the footsteps of his mentor would be a great place for him to go. Dunno if it would pan out that well in 2024 football though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What Chelsea need from a Newcastle point of view is several more injuries now so they are ballsed for next Tuesday.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Barcola is still shit I see.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Leao's gone full Thomas Muller there. You never go full Thomas Muller.

[Waffdon]

What a finish that is. Literally been on the pitch 25 seconds

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sergio Conceicao just sent on his son and he's scored with his first touch pretty much.

[Gray Fox]

These past 2 days have been glorious.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

PSG into Europa?!?!?!?

[Waffdon]

A Dortmund goal would be quite funny

[Giggles]

How come Newcastle haven't bought like fuck? Did they get the only poor Saudi or what?

[Jimmy Floyd]

This second half has shown up Newcastle's weaknesses a bit, Milan bring two excellent technical players off the bench (one of whom sets up the other for the winner-elect) while Howe is sending out Dan Burn and Longstaff. Fortunately I suppose they'll receive Henderson, Cristiano Ronaldo and Big Jon Rahm on loan in January.

[Gray Fox]

How come Newcastle haven't bought like fuck? Did they get the only poor Saudi or what?

They need a few seasons of inflated "sponsorship income" to allow them to not get Everton'd.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Barcelona :lol:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Theo Hernandez just bottled it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are quite a few players they need to upgrade on, Lascelles perhaps the most pressing example but they are a bit prosaic up front as well, could have done with a lunatic like Saint-Maximin or the like to bring on and keep the feet going.

[Gray Fox]

The only top player they really have at the minute is the best Bruno in the league.

[Manc]

Newcastle should have sat on the point and hit Milan on the break.

[niko_cee]

Hardly surprising, but annoying to see the United's tanking the coefficient so much.

At least Arsenal won their group so they can avoid getting bummed out of existence by Bayern in the last 16 for once I guess.

[Don]

Newcastle should have sat on the point and hit Milan on the break.

This, they threw the kitchen sink and got punished for being so naive against a side they're superior to.

[Gray Fox]

City winning it again will bring that coefficient back up. Villa should really win the Conference league too.

Leverkusen and CL dropouts the only real threat to the English teams other than themselves in the Europa League too.

[Shindig]

Sweet release. I didn't expect us to get out of this group but was surprised how close we got.

[Waffdon]

Newcastle have recruited very well. Their starting XI is obviously good but now that they’re missing part of their spine for the foreseeable it makes them look a bit meh. Pope, Botman and Tonali all get into the majority of teams in the league.

They could do with upgrading Almiron but then how many top class wide players are willing to play like he does for their system. I can see Ruben Neves coming in on loan but they can’t go out and buy many players outright as they’ve got fuck all assets kicking about

[niko_cee]

In other news this injury MacAllister has after having his knee 'unfortunately' stepped on against Sheffield United sounds nice. Probably a bit of poetic licence at play but:


the stud went through pretty much the muscle on to the bone.

:sick:

[Waffdon]

City winning it again will bring that coefficient back up. Villa should really win the Conference league too.

Leverkusen and CL dropouts the only real threat to the English teams other than themselves in the Europa League too.

Yeah, Liverpool and Villa should both make the semis or finals and probably the same for Man City. Sevilla aren’t in the Europa League so England’s biggest threat is probably Germany and I can’t see Bayern doing much.

[Boydy]

1735086821690704355

[Spikey M]

Geezer is a glutton for punishment.

[niko_cee]

Potter is basically English Ten Hag. Seems a pointless thing to do. Manager's probably the last member of staff they'd need to be thinking about clearing out as a priority.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He is so INEOS though. More INEOS than INEOS. You can just see him giving a pithy interview to Eurosport in front of the team truck after his domestiques fail to reel in the breakaway on the climb in to Ax-les-Thermes.

[niko_cee]

Will Still is half Belgian or whatever so it's bound to be him for the cycling links.

Can he be made to grow a Bradley Wiggins barnet?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Surprisingly I can't find any evidence of a Potter appearance on the High Performance Podcast. A bit odd, since all the lads have been on there. You know, all the boys, the men's men.

https://gcdnb.pbrd.co/images/KrkRyRXRikjq.png?o=1

[Spikey M]

When did Starmer get his Cataracts sorted?

[Gray Fox]

Potter seems your perfect corporate shill for the job. Comes across well in interviews and could bore you to death with a 3 hour powerpoint presentation of his playstyle and ideals. Who cares how it goes on the pitch because he can deflect in the press conferences. Just keep that stock price going up.

[phonics]

There's a great clip of Jamie Oliver telling Jake Humphreys to high performance his way the fuck off.

[Yevrah]

Jim, you've been teasing it for ages, but it's really time for the thought piece on the High Performance podcast from you.

[Spikey M]

I've never listened to it, what actually is it? Is it - as I expect - just Jakey Boy interviewing successful people? What makes them tick, their habits, routines, etc?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1734199479706763661

Here's Jamie destroying Humphrey.

[Waffdon]

Jamie Oliver on a redemption arc

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've never listened to it, what actually is it? Is it - as I expect - just Jakey Boy interviewing successful people? What makes them tick, their habits, routines, etc?

It's Jake Humphrey and 'successful people' (from a quite limited range of fields, largely sport and bizness - not business, bizness) convincing each other that their success in life is down to hard work rather than god-given talent or circumstance. You know, aspire to inspire. Success, mate, it's like a prism, you know? The hard work is a bright white light, and the rewards are a fucking rainbow innit. Take good supplements, treat your wife with respect mostly, endorse only the brands that mean something to you.

It's one short hop over a very narrow polluted stream from being Andrew Tate.

[Spikey M]

It's Jake Humphrey and 'successful people' (from a quite limited range of fields, largely sport and bizness - not business, bizness) convincing each other that their success in life is down to hard work rather than god-given talent or circumstance. You know, aspire to inspire. Success, mate, it's like a prism, you know? The hard work is a bright white light, and the rewards are a fucking rainbow innit. Take good supplements, treat your wife with respect mostly, endorse only the brands that mean something to you.

It's one short hop over a very narrow polluted stream from being Andrew Tate.

As I feared. I was briefly exposed to Steven Bartletts YouTube channel, in which does similar. Self congratulatory back smacking was bad enough when it came in the form of paperback celebrity advice books each Christmas, but the smugness is unbearable in 4k.

All is forgiven, Tyson Fury.

https://i.ibb.co/Kz2HFq6/Screenshot-20231214-103411-Brave.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm fascinated by it because of the sheer extent of the earnestness-bullshit complex involved and I still don't know if they're being cynical or simply stupid. The YouTube thumbnails alone could fill a torture chamber:

https://gcdnb.pbrd.co/images/DwQPqsQrtfNk.png?o=1
https://gcdnb.pbrd.co/images/jb0dvoQZGi2f.png?o=1
https://gcdnb.pbrd.co/images/BwWGGqCLKSSk.png?o=1
https://gcdnb.pbrd.co/images/qz9J9vinpIIg.png?o=1

[Spikey M]

The Eric Dier one got a legitimate lol. Geezers last High Performance was about 8 years ago, but he has indeed been outside of every Spurs Fans comfort zone ever since. Fair play.

[phonics]

Gary Neville referring to a long weekend in Spain where he doesn't answer emails as a 'mini retirement' was the peak of the genre.

[Waffdon]

1730609208616243294

He’s definitely written that. Either way, plugging your own podcast in a family group chat like it’s an article on Teams or Linkden is peak Humphrey

[Waffdon]

Eddie Howe under pressure for his job.

Not to worry, they’ve got a free win in the cup next week.

[Yevrah]

Not paying people for that shitty podcast is quite the grift.

[niko_cee]

Cool to Kaide Gordon back after however many years he's been dead for. Still only 19 too.

[Gray Fox]

First game in the first team since January 2022. Could still come good obviously but that's some vital development time to miss.

This is still a stronger lineup than I expected to see, but happy to see the likes of Gordon and Doak in to get the night to shine. Didn't expect to see Endo though, especially at that Alexis knee injury looks and sounds like it may be a few weeks yet.

[niko_cee]

Is this Mac Allister of theirs a relative [brother?] of Alexis? Assuming the possibility due to the Bloom/Brighton connection.

Good save by Kelleher there.

[Gray Fox]

Is this Mac Allister of theirs a relative [brother?] of Alexis? Assuming the possibility due to the Bloom/Brighton connection.

Good save by Kelleher there.

Older brother Kevin.

And yes he is.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Older brother Kevin.

And yes he is.

https://www.usatoday.com/gcdn/authoring/authoring-images/2023/11/29/USAT/71744352007-home-alone.JPG?width=660&height=988&fit=crop&format=pjpg&auto=webp

[niko_cee]

That was considerably less good by Kelleher.

This has been a weird game.

[Gray Fox]

The full backs and wingers on the left and right look a little lost out there.

That said. Their first goal looked offside and not one replay has been shown to suggest it was or wasn't.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, it was strange. Guy clearly thought he was offside as he barely celebrated and then everyone stood around for ages whilst VAR did something but nobody seemed to know what.

Lots of Liverpool's youngsters looking their age, which is understandable.

[Gray Fox]

I'm hoping he keeps them out there for the experience and doesn't let pride sucker him into bringing on some players who really should be resting.

[niko_cee]

I think there will be some 30 minute run outs for some of the bigger guns, Nunez, Diaz, Gravenberch maybe. Only Taz's Hairy Hungarian should be resting on the bench.

[niko_cee]

Continuing on the "are they related?" front, is this Lewis Koumas related to Jason in anyway? He was a decent player.

[Baz]

You’ve just set off the igor alarm

[Jimmy Floyd]

Son, mind-bendingly.

[niko_cee]

Son, mind-bendingly.

:D

I was wondering if it might be that.

[Don]

What the fuck is Xabi feeding them over in Bayer? I need to watch a game of theirs soon.

[Adramelch]

I'm all for the new Ajax coach giving opportunities to the youngsters, but having a 17-year old as the captain is surely taking the piss.

[phonics]

What the fuck is Xabi feeding them over in Bayer? I need to watch a game of theirs soon.

The Xhaka effect.

[Waffdon]

Rangers are hopeless domestically but always seem to get results in Europe. Some effort to win away to Betis (if they hold on) to knock them out

[niko_cee]

Some effort to win the group. They're certainly mercurial in Europe.

Joao Pedro. :cool:

On the road to Dublin.

[Waffdon]

Aberdeen randomly beating Frankfurt as well.

They didn’t half blow their chances in that group. Were 2-0 up against POAK with 25 mins left and lost 3-2. Drawing both times to Helsinki didn’t help matters much either

[niko_cee]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/67719803

:happycry:

Different meaning in another language you say?

The guy's lived most of his life in the UK.

[Baz]

Aberdeen randomly beating Frankfurt as well.

JLB derby

[Gray Fox]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/67719803

:happycry:

Different meaning in another language you say?

The guy's lived most of his life in the UK.

I seem to recall even during his time playing at Everton he was fluent in 5/6 languages. Great to see playing dumb can still get you places.

[phonics]

Prayers up for us hiring Young Truly Humble Under Gods lawyer.

[SincereTheRebel]

Off topic, but I'm thinking about some of my favourite moments over the years, and this one always sticks out. That ball from Pirlo. Grosso celebration. The commentators. The sound in the stadium :drool:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyjXPSF3dQc

[Adramelch]

The Del Piero goal from the same game was also an iconic moment.

[thommo]

That whole passage of play, the entire 3 minutes or so, is brilliant to watch with the Italian commentary. Two lovely goals in the cauldron of Dortmund, so late in the game. Watching that game as a teenager is a really vivid memory for me.

[igor_balis]

Continuing on the "are they related?" front, is this Lewis Koumas related to Jason in anyway? He was a decent player.


You’ve just set off the igor alarm


https://youtu.be/lEIVqc9i6ww?si=NntRZ8AGIFbFxq77

Probably my all time favourite Albion player to watch, if he could have been arsed he'd have been world class...well, maybe not slumming it with us, Wigan and Tranmere at least.

[igor_balis]

Can't decide if he's a poor man's Le Tissier or a rich man's Lee Trundle. Bit of both probably.

[phonics]

Gerrard said that Koumas was better than him but the guy just hated football.

[-james-]

Bob Sanchez is out for a few weeks, and upon checking their second GK is some bloke called George Petrovic. How have they spend a bazillion quid and not bothered thinking about hiring a second goalie?

[Jimmy Floyd]

We did hire a second goalkeeper, him. From New England Revolution. Yee ha!

The third goalkeeper is someone named Eddie Beach, which I presume is where the bodies will be washed up when this is all over.

[Waffdon]

They bought him in the summer at the same time as Sanchez. The Serbian Nick Pope I hear. Can’t play out from the back for the life of him.

[Waffdon]

We did hire a second goalkeeper, him. From New England Revolution. Yee ha!

The third goalkeeper is someone named Eddie Beach, which I presume is where the bodies will be washed up when this is all over.

3rd ‘keeper is big Lucas Bergstrom.

[-james-]

Marcus Bettinelli kicking about the first team squad as well. Good stuff.

[phonics]

I miss Baba Rahman.

[Danny]

Club who makes poor decisions with money in need of a keeper?

https://i.imgur.com/fjeu2lZ.png

Spanish and couldn't kick snow off a rope. Seems like the perfect fit

[Waffdon]

Marcus Bettinelli kicking about the first team squad as well. Good stuff.

Chelsea fan, decent playing level, low wage and fits the English quota. Literally the perfect back up keeper. Well, other than being injured for about a year :lol:

Speaking of injuries, still the 10 1st team players out injured. Madueke, Cucurella and Sanchez all on the list. What a club.

[niko_cee]

Do Chelsea really have any 'first team players'? Maybe the quarter of a billion chuckle brothers in midfield? Otherwise it's just squad filler meh-tier shite for the most part.

[Waffdon]

James, Chilwell, Fofana and Nkunku all start if they’re fit. Chukwuemka and Lavia potential to start. The rest are useless that are injured.

[phonics]

Nkunku hasn't played a game for you. What makes you think he won't be as shit as the rest of them?

[Raoul Duke]

He's good on FIFA?

Is Hilario still there? Cech is playing ice hockey now

[Waffdon]

He’s not a system player so even pochettino can’t ruin him by not playing to his strengths

[Don]

James and Chilwell :D Yeah, and we're missing Thiago, Naby and Fabio Aurelio.

[Waffdon]

Put some respect on the Covid Champions League winners.

[Gray Fox]

Forest 2-0 down against 10 men and still not sending for Origi. He wants sacking now.

[Don]

Matt Turner needs to be put down.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lol at the Saudis (Benzema branch) losing to Egyptians in the CWC.

[phonics]

Matt Turner needs to be put down.

Arsenals transfer policy has been an almost guranteed hit outside of our GK's where anyone the coach wants is the most abysmal fraud you'll ever find. I'm not sure what he sees in them. Getting 10 million out of Forest for this guy that didnt make a save was amazing business.

He's been the reason behind signing 3 players and I can not tell a single skill any of them have apart from being bad.

250k Runnarson - Never saved a goal. Cant Pass. Looked terrified.
2.5m Tuner - Never saved a goal. Can't Pass. Was a good guy around the dressing room.
30m Raya - Saved 2 goals. Can pass. Fails to do so alot of the time because he's freaking out over how bad he is at everything else.

[Shindig]

I feel like we've been on a good run of keepers since Shay Given. Like Srnicek and Hislop were fine but Shay was the first keeper I thought could bail you out of an onslaught.

Makes me wonder how hard it is to find a good one. Admittedly, most of them are FORCED to fanny about with passes to the back four instead of hoofing it.

[niko_cee]

Bold words from someone facing the prospect of Loris Karius minding the net.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Goalkeeper is the least efficiently recruited position in football. There are some really good ones at real nothing clubs, while many useless wankers get paid instead (Karius a great example).

I suppose the stats lads would argue the elite passing goalkeepers are great in attack and only need to be somewhat effective defensively. It's moving towards the timeless cricket wicketkeeper debate.

[Shindig]

Bold words from someone facing the prospect of Loris Karius minding the net.

It makes me wonder how much keepers dwell on their previous mistakes. Seaman dropped a couple but I'd still see him as dependable. Karius did alright (as in he wasn't at fault for the goals, probably) in the Cup final but I'm not sure I'd trust him for a regular run. Reputation counts between the sticks.

[Manc]

It's the one position on the pitch that requires true BDE.

[Gray Fox]

Managers have seen Ederson and thought they want a piece of that. But as said previously, Ederson is a fantastic shot stopper that just so happens to be good with it at his feet. Not the other way around.

However this harks into the everyone starting to play the same way and play out from the back. Having a discount version of this in your goal leads to you weighing up whether you're gaining more or losing more by trying this.

[Shindig]

I still think Neuer is the best sweeper keeper I've ever seen.

[Lewis]

Who was it - possibly Owen Hargreaves - who shut down the 'lol could Neuer play in midfield?!' stuff by pointing out he was merely reasonably good on the ball and fortunate enough to be playing for teams dominate enough that nobody was pressing high up with any numbers?

[phonics]

Goalkeeper is the least efficiently recruited position in football. There are some really good ones at real nothing clubs, while many useless wankers get paid instead (Karius a great example).

I suppose the stats lads would argue the elite passing goalkeepers are great in attack and only need to be somewhat effective defensively. It's moving towards the timeless cricket wicketkeeper debate.

The Raya experiment has been eye opening. Raya is the same type of goalkeeper as Ramsdale. Just with better stats. So surely slotting him in would just make you better. Then you see him play and you realise, The reason he's '10% better at claiming crosses' than your previous keeper is not because he's better at the act of claiming crosses but he's just standing 3-4 yards further forward. He's not better at claiming crosses, he's cheating. And because big clubs are actually scouted and prepared for, that gets exploited and you get 4 games in a row where the oppositions entire gameplan is to boot it over him for an easy finish at the back post.

The only reason Raya isn't being laughed out the league at the moment is that Arsenal are the best defensive team in the country by a wide margin. Any time that defense fails, he looks like a clown.


It's the one position on the pitch that requires true BDE.

And this is the issue, Ramsdale isn't and wasn't a 'top, top' solution. But he had that. Then we castrated him because our shitty goalkeeper coach wanted his mate.

[Don]

Phonics is Aaron Ramsdale, right?

[Kikó]

Managers have seen Ederson and thought they want a piece of that. But as said previously, Ederson is a fantastic shot stopper that just so happens to be good with it at his feet. Not the other way around.

However this harks into the everyone starting to play the same way and play out from the back. Having a discount version of this in your goal leads to you weighing up whether you're gaining more or losing more by trying this.

And that's how we've ended up with onana. The worst technique I've seen in a professional goalkeeper ever.

[Don]

The technique in question being his high melanin.

[Danny]

1735637691364933814

That definitely should be two red cards

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Jackson can actually score?

[Lofty]

Not looking good for Tom Lockyer at Bournemouth, hope he's ok.

[Danny]

Lineker tweeting he is responsive. Didn’t he collapse in the play off final too?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Thank god Lineker was first on the scene, could have been nasty.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jackson can actually score?

Don't worry, it was from 2 feet out into an empty net again.

[Ben]

Lineker tweeting he is responsive. Didn’t he collapse in the play off final too?

Yep. Doubt he'll play again.

[Don]

Foden, you beauty.

[Adramelch]

Don't worry, it was from 2 feet out into an empty net again.

Still more than Lukaku did at Chelsea to be fair.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The pressure piles on Pep. With the likes of Zidane and Lampard waiting in the wings there's a lot riding on this next game against *checks notes* Urawa Red Diamonds.

[wullie]

They should have abandoned the game at Wembley too and just award the result to whichever team had most players at the time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Alright, I'll say it. Sean Dyche for England. He would be fucking perfect for that role.

[Don]

La Liga coverage with live xG's of major chances on replays. Very surprising to see Spanish players and managers outclassing gammons in terms of tactical understanding of the game when you have the likes of Stuart Pearce in comparison giving it soundbites like "Son needs to go without the ball a few times and look to receive the ball in behind, that way he'll get in".

[Foe]

Burnley are just the new norwich here, without a scorer like pukki up top.

Adebayo at Luton has absolutely no business scoring goals in this league.

[Foe]

Keeper despite “high potential” is an absolute liability.

Might be decent with the ball at his feet, but does not seem confident or strong at catching or saving.

[niko_cee]

He had a fairly belting game against Brighton last week, although that's pretty par for the course for 'keepers this season. :moop:

lol at City, thought they were coasting. Palace are such a bogey team for them.

[Waffdon]

Jackson can actually score?

He’s on course to be Chelsea’s highest goalscorer since the Costa days :lol:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I unironically love him whilst acknowledging that's he's terrible at football. I think this must be the kind of joy that gets lower league fans going back to see Port Vale 1-1 Lincoln for the 16th time in their lives.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1736104686883651669

Pretty damn good.

[niko_cee]

Not that i agree with the general tactic, but I always find it odd that in that Iwobi through on goal situation, where Dan Burn scythes him down after he shoots, if he just toes the ball out of play it's a penalty, but if he shoots it isn't.

[Don]

1736104686883651669

Pretty damn good.

Need Wullie to analyse and compare against Gyokeres.

[niko_cee]

Bit of a stretch to call that 'outrageous', it's mostly just pitiful defending.

[Waffdon]

Nah, the drag back through the defenders legs in beautiful. There’s hope for the beautiful game yet.

[Giggles]

Bit of a stretch to call that 'outrageous', it's mostly just pitiful defending.

At least it didn't warrant a disgusting.

[niko_cee]

Didn't even notice that. Still just a mess of legs and you shouldn't be letting players do keepy-ups in the box if you have any self-respect as an Italian defender.

[niko_cee]

At least it didn't warrant a disgusting.

:D

I find the use of the word delicious in a football context to be genuinely skin crawling.

[Baz]

‘Genius’ is the worst.

Are you really a genius if you can do a rabona?

[Spikey M]

At least it didn't warrant a disgusting.

Filthy teckers.

[Shindig]

Yeah, he shouldn't take the attention of three defenders. At the very least, have one of them move round to face him so he's boxed in.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6gWAYu_RG0

I judge that stuff on whether it can make John Anderson laugh. Again, bad defending. Just stick a foot in there and concede the corner.

[Spikey M]

It's a good goal, I'm not sure why you lot are being weird about it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's a bad goal and should have been prevented. Far too many goals are scored and it's getting out of hand.

[Shindig]

It's of epidemic proportions and we've trusted sports SCIENCE far too much.

Although sentences like that are fucking rife on comments of Lockyer's collapse. :moop: People can't seem to wrap their head around athletes having dodgy hearts.

[John Arne]

Today I learnt that Ivan Toney's initials are I.B.E.T.

[Shindig]

I'm watching Newcastle Women (because it's Sunday and I'm bored) and they look far too good for this level. 3-0 up inside 13 minutes against Fylde. That said, this is only something like 4th tier. They've got Man Utd in the cup next month so they'll probably get demolished.

I do like how scorelines get blown out like this. They don't seem to settle on preserving a lead like you see sometimes in the men's game.

6-2 at half-time. Fylde's first was a decent effort, to be fair. The first woman in the sport to really master long-range shots will probably destroy the game.

[Kikó]

If united don't lose by more than 5 today then it's been a good day.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We're going to win by three!

lol, of course we're not. We're going to get fisted again.

[John Arne]

As expected for us, really.

https://gyazo.com/59ba7c09d9907e9a40565f0c1f6fec55.jpeg

[Giggles]

I have never heard of a single one of that Liverpool middle 3. Are they resting lads?

[Waffdon]

That was some fluke from Havertz. Definitely tried to chip the keeper there and got it wrong and worked out.

[Gray Fox]

I have never heard of a single one of that Liverpool middle 3. Are they resting lads?

All three are summer signings. Gravenberch and Szoboszlai are our best two options in there but we usually have Alexis Mac Allister behind them. He's injured currently though.

[phonics]

I had to leave for the second half. Presumed our xG if 8-0 meant we were going to get fucked off a Danny Welbeck shinner.

[Gray Fox]

I dont think this will be the full walkover it's being set up as.

Liverpool got to rest Thursday, but we've not played well lately. Just doing enough.

[Waffdon]

Man Utd win today and then a draw or Liverpool win against Arsenal next week so Villa are top at Christmas :cool:

[Kikó]

This is probably the strongest united team we could field outside AWB at full back. Not playing both McTomminay and Fernandes might bring some balance into midfield. 6-0.

[Gray Fox]

This is probably the strongest united team we could field outside AWB at full back. Not playing both McTomminay and Fernandes might bring some balance into midfield. 6-0.

This dickhead missing is probably the best thing for you. He's not the guy you need away at Anfield.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

*Captain Dickhead.

Please show some respect.

[Kikó]

Started well.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Onana is shitting bricks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

These goal kicks are doing my head in. Can they not knock it?

[Kikó]

We lost the tactical advantage of playing it short when we do.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I know it's ynited Liverpool, but Neville is properly blinkered if he thinks that Mainoo tackle wasn't a yellow. Even the player apologised to the ref.

[Kikó]

Antony is really toilet. I'm sorry Taz.

[Manc]

The hairy Hungarian having a shocker. Watch him rocket one into the top corner from 30 yards.

[Waffdon]

This game has been something, that’s for sure

[Don]

:sick:

We better not be thinking of letting it remain 0-0 for when Trashford comes on. Gakpo starts over both these favela fucks.

[randomlegend]

Szoboszlai isn't very hairy actually, is he. Why are you such a retard Taz?