December: Rockin' around the Premier League

[Ian]

For fuck's sake it's still six Manchester Uniteds 'til Christmas.

It's (almost) all league all the time for a month, so any time you're not spending hiding an elf or telling people you don't want to take part in a secret Santa you'll no doubt be watching a load of teams pretending City just aren't going to win the league in the end anyway. Joy.

Thank Christ I can't watch United's thrashing at the hands of Newcastle tomorrow.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I quite enjoy it but ideally there would be another international break so that I could taste some more tears of those morbidly addicted to barclays prem soccer.

[niko_cee]

In perhaps the ultimate indictment of xG as a stat, I see it is now being rolled out to explain how Onana is actually a really good goalkeeper because teams have been missing sitters against United all season.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/67587754

Respect to Sheffield United for somehow conceding 35.59 xGOT in what, 13 games? Fucking hell.

[Ben]

As I've been saying pretty consistently forever, xAnything is absolute bobbins.

[Spikey M]

How is he doing on xShambles?

[Ian]

In perhaps the ultimate indictment of xG as a stat, I see it is now being rolled out to explain how Onana is actually a really good goalkeeper because teams have been missing sitters against United all season.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/67587754

Respect to Sheffield United for somehow conceding 35.59 xGOT in what, 13 games? Fucking hell.

I almost made this whole opening post about him, because I had the line in my head: "On the first of December it's very clear to me, Onana's an awful goalieeeee" but couldn't decide how to build on that so settled for the turd I actually curled out.

Huge fan of somebody writing that up the day after he punched a body-save over his own body though.

[niko_cee]

The more pressing question is has the weekend's FA Cup curtain-raiser, in my mind often slated for a Friday night these days once you get into the proper rounds, been pushed back so as to not conflict with very important Women's football tonight? Or are the FA respecting match going fans by not doing that?

[niko_cee]

Also, looks like there might be some more magic of the cup (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/67596738) on the way.

[Jimmy Floyd]

York v Wigan is on the beeb tonight.

[Shindig]

I almost made this whole opening post about him, because I had the line in my head: "On the first of December it's very clear to me, Onana's an awful goalieeeee" but couldn't decide how to build on that so settled for the turd I actually curled out.

Chestnuts roasting Onana's under fire. :shrug:

I would've opened it with how Joey Barton still thinks it's the black lad's fault his brother went to prison.

[Ian]

Chestnuts roasting Onana's under fire. :shrug:

I would've opened it with how Joey Barton still thinks it's the black lad's fault his brother went to prison.

I would've if I'd seen that. That said "Joey Barton still cunt"? I could have opened with "Footballs still round."

[Jimmy Floyd]

On the first of December it's very clear to me:
Rashford's a tosser
Bruno's a wanker
Luke Shaw's a podger
Mount's tiny todger
Martial's a pillock
Evans drawing a pension
Sancho isn't playing
Antony's a groper
MAC
TOM
IN
AY
Ha-arry Maguire
Malacia
Diogo Dalot
And Onana's an awful goalie.

[Ben]

Whatever happened to Malacia?

[niko_cee]

Repeated knee injury doom.


York v Wigan is on the beeb tonight.

Nice, although RIP my basic internet skills.

[Shindig]

That fog in York. :drool:

[Spikey M]

On the first of December it's very clear to me:
Rashford's a tosser
Bruno's a wanker
Luke Shaw's a podger
Mount's tiny todger
Martial's a pillock
Evans drawing a pension
Sancho isn't playing
Antony's a groper
MAC
TOM
IN
AY
Ha-arry Maguire
Malacia
Diogo Dalot
And Onana's an awful goalie.

Beautiful. Better than their Eric Cantona abortion.

[Ian]

Some deeply contrived efforts there, hence me not pursuing it further, but all worth it for "MAC
TOM
IN
AY"

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think it's very sad that you'd suggest fitting Man Utd players and various childish insults about them into that song was in any way 'contrived'.

[Ian]

Goodness no, they all deserve the shit being flung at them, it's just the cadence I'm analysing.

[niko_cee]

The magic of the cup lives on in reminding me of the existence of David Stockdale's website.

[Waffdon]

1730709327009181787

Hopefully the Notts County manager comes out and explains the benefits of allowing an opposition player to score the easiest hat trick of their life.

[SincereTheRebel]

1730709327009181787

Hopefully the Notts County manager comes out and explains the benefits of allowing an opposition player to score the easiest hat trick of their life.

Yoooo :cry:

[Ben]

Yeah not a great look for their manager just a few days after giving it the big I am.

[Spikey M]

Half the fun of lower league football, is that the players are generally quite good, but they usually have one terrible attribute that means they can't play at a higher level.

So the centre backs are usually decent, but only 5 ft 4, or terrible at passing. The wingers can cross, but get overtaken by passing snails, etc.

In this instance they seem to have made the mistake of signing Harry Maguires family.

[Shindig]

Yeah not a great look for their manager just a few days after giving it the big I am.

Notts County won three corners so I'm assuming that's where their two goals came from.

[Spikey M]

Southend game cancelled. Frozen pitch. :mad:

[Shindig]

Gateshead's match at Woking is also off.

[Spikey M]

Jimmy, we're going to need a lament to the tune of Danny Boy when you're ready please.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh Spikey boy, the pitch, the pitch is frozen
From end to end, and also side to side
The summer's gone, the winter's here, it's cancelled
Now you must push your children down a slide

But come ye back when sunshine's on the forecast
Or when your head has grown from very small
They'll still be shite, in sunshine or in shadow,
Oh Spikey boy, oh Spikey boy, you love Roots Hall

[Spikey M]

Bravo. You're wasted flogging tractor axles, Jim.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pays better than making up four-line stanzas about your Saturday plans.

[Kikó]

I'm off to Newcastle tonight to watch us get beheaded by Eddie Howe's barcodes. Can't wait to sing Jimmy's new ditty.

[Don]

Luton, make you admire their work-rate one weekend and then get their keeper booked for timewasting in the 38th min and make you realise your life would be greatly improved if they went back to the championship.

[Shindig]

They can take Sheff Utd with them.

[Gray Fox]

Everton going bottom before they play. It'll look even worse for them should Luton somehow find a winner.

[Don]

McBurnie :D

[Spikey M]

What on earth are Sheffield United upto?

[niko_cee]

Denmark, good God, the most boring pot 2 option.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Group of death please.

[Spikey M]

Scotland in the opening fixture is good fun.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Greece, Georgia, Luxembourg or Kazakhstan?

Seriously?

[Shindig]

Has Laudrup got a Scottish accent?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sex noises pretty loud here.

[niko_cee]

Classic Southgate group, ultra dull, ultra soft.

[Waffdon]

That was a great draw until Switzerland came out. Should be great fun anyway.

[Spikey M]

2 1-0's and a 0-0 to seal it.

[-james-]

Just copped flights to Munich for the opener. :huhu:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

"Dwight McNeil, the Spider-Man fan, makes himself a superhero in his own right"

That might be the shittest line a commentator has ever said.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I always like to imagine they (especially Drury) have one pre-written for every player in the matchday squads.

MOUSSA DEMBELE...
WHO HOLIDAYS IN MOROCCO...
PUTS THE LID ON THE TAGINE FOR SPURS

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Would be nice if Ten Hag would stop hating Varane.

[Ian]

"Dwight McNeil, the Spider-Man fan, makes himself a superhero in his own right"

That might be the shittest line a commentator has ever said.

Matterface's "SCENES! ABSOLUTE SCENES!" remains the worst thing any commentator has ever done.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1730980155445694702

Woof.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jesus, just seen the Euro draw. The only saving grace is that we haven't played Serbia in forever (at least as far as I can remember) and playing them first up in Gelsenkirchen has a real 'Battle of...' feel to it.

Group B is quite good.

[Ben]

Garnacho is a good little player but is a right cheating cunt. Always rolling around feigning injuries.

[-james-]

Group F has occurred in every Euros ever, I'm sure.

[-james-]

Why doesn't there seem to be a euros wall chart predictor thing online yet? ffs

[Jimmy Floyd]

'Fletch' is such a bad commentator, and I don't mean he annoys me or I don't like him, he's technically bad. Waffling on about irrelevant shite at the wrong times and just not eloquent enough for the job.

[Jimmy Floyd]

On a positive note, if one of Miley and Mainoo can develop into a scurrier / get the work done then that's England's midfield behind Bellingham sorted for the next 15 years. The former in particular seems to have an amazing instinct for a percentage ball, which is how the game is now played.

[Waffdon]

'Fletch' is such a bad commentator, and I don't mean he annoys me or I don't like him, he's technically bad. Waffling on about irrelevant shite at the wrong times and just not eloquent enough for the job.

Yep. Their whole entire line up is beyond dog shit. The majority of them struggle to string a sentence together

[Ben]

Sky get loads of shit, rightly, but they’re absolutely streets ahead of TNT.

[Don]

Miley looks an incredible talent, especially with that physique.

Another humiliation on xG and Alisson is gonna be fit for the Anfield visit :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

This should be about 5-0, a completely one-sided thrashing. The only question is whether United will burgle 1 or 3 points in stoppage time.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Aaron Wan-Bissaka took a nap there.

[Shindig]

Anthony Gordon winding up our top scorer would be something.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rashford's hour here should probably see him training with the reserves until March. Not interested whatsoever in the team. Not sure if he doesn't fancy it because it's cold or what, but you could watch the apathy dripping off him.

[Lewis]

Has he started putting a limp on yet?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We will steal a point here, at least.

[randomlegend]

This is one of the worst performances I've ever seen.

[Lewis]

I had never heard of Sofyan Amrabat before the World Cup, and had United not signed him I don't think I ever would have again.

[Ben]

Egghead is a fucking travesty and United need to rid themselves of him before they end up with more Ajax outcasts like Chuba Akpom.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I can smell a Slabhead goal.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

'Fletch' is such a bad commentator, and I don't mean he annoys me or I don't like him, he's technically bad. Waffling on about irrelevant shite at the wrong times and just not eloquent enough for the job.

He just completely forgot that Nick Pope was subbed off.

[Ben]

Steve McClaren has the most hair on the bench. That can’t be right.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

My nose was off.

Much like Ten Hag's tactics.

[Gray Fox]

No urgency or pressing of any kind until about the 3rd minute of added time.
No real identity or sense of a plan beyond grinding games out either.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He just completely forgot that Nick Pope was subbed off.

Which is forgiveable on its own, but the reason he did so was because he had pre-written a stat about Newcastle's lack of substitutions recently and just HAD to read it out when there was a sub. A proper commentator wouldn't have got themselves into that position.

[Offshore Toon]

EtH really is awful but also probably as good as they'll get at the moment. It's hard to not feel sorry for Man United fans at this point.

[Jimmy Floyd]

In fairness to Sir Twat Busby I'm not sure there are many coaches who could make the bunch of overpaid whining tossers who make up the Man U squad into an exciting team. They need to completely tear it down and start again, but under the glazers just haven't been willing to do so. Maybe Bradley Wiggins or whoever is now in charge will get it done.

[CJay]

Once again thrilled to see Heckingbottom getting shown up. Gone by the morning presumably.

[CJay]

Also ETH must be consciously styling himself like Coach Beard from Ted Lasso.

[Kikó]

Rashford and Martial are absolute jokes. Starting with both and Fernandes is basically like having 8.5 defensively. Easy for Newcastle (who weren't even particularly good).

[Shindig]

Minteh might be getting recalled next month. :cool: He's done alright at Feyenoord.

[Waffdon]

Thus Chelsea/Brighton game really should have a ridiculous amount of goals. Both teams don’t have any fit full backs (or available to play) outside of Joel Veltman who might have to play centre half

[Spikey M]

Rashford and Martial are absolute jokes. Starting with both and Fernandes is basically like having 8.5 defensively. Easy for Newcastle (who weren't even particularly good).

It's your own fault for going tbh. Imagine taking an international flight for that. :happycry:

[Ben]

Thus Chelsea/Brighton game really should have a ridiculous amount of goals. Both teams don’t have any fit full backs (or available to play) outside of Joel Veltman who might have to play centre half

Yeah I'm all over Overs and BTTS.

[Shindig]

Tuned into the draw to see the derby drawn. :cool:

[niko_cee]

Stoke away for Brighton and the 6th Premier League opponent in 7 years for Liverpool.

Absolute write-off of an FA Cup draw.

[Waffdon]

Yeah I'm all over Overs and BTTS.

Disasi, Silva, Badiashile, Colwill is the back 4. Oh my days

[Kikó]

It's your own fault for going tbh. Imagine taking an international flight for that. :happycry:

Had to fly first class to check the sleeping facilities #forTTH

[Don]

Brighton benching their 3 best players, easy Chelsea win.

[Waffdon]

They have one home win at home (Luton) in about 18 games. I wouldn’t be so sure.

[niko_cee]

Apparently O'Mahony on the bench for Brighton is Ferguson Mk2.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Unlike most seasons I can see Chelsea's massive bloated squad coming into its own at this time of year, especially as most squads seem to be collapsing completely.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Great FA Cup draw, as they go:

Arsenal v Liverpool
Sunderland v Newcastle
Shrewsbury v Wrexham
Wigan v Man U

[Gray Fox]

Belter of a free kick from Trent.

[Waffdon]

Unlike most seasons I can see Chelsea's massive bloated squad coming into its own at this time of year, especially as most squads seem to be collapsing completely.

Nkunku and Lavia back in full training at the correct time :cool:

[Ben]

Brighton are a shambles here.

[Gray Fox]

I'd rather have Adrian in goal...

[Gray Fox]

Alexis outdoing Trent with a belter half volley from 30 yards there.

[Waffdon]

Brighton are a shambles here.

Both teams are awful. Brighton might still win this, especially with Mitoma off the bench in the 2nd half.

[Waffdon]

And there’s the red card for Gallagher. Sums up his game. Utter tragic

[Gray Fox]

I'd rather have Adrian in goal...

Please. Anyone else with hands.

[Baz]

Kelleher is tragic and has been terrible ever since he scored that penalty.

[Giggles]

Apparently O'Mahony on the bench for Brighton is Ferguson Mk2.

I never knew that's where he ended up. I remember a Cork City supporting mate of mine saying he was supposed to be the next big thing, I'd assumed he had just fell off and was still there.

[Gray Fox]

Been a relatively even game but Liverpool have just gone into coast mode after each time taking the lead. Got to keep your foot down against teams who are up for it like Fulham seem to be.

Kelleher undermines all defensive efforts by flapping every shot into the net.

[Mike]

All keeping Kelleher on this season is ruin his transfer value.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Glorious playing-out-from-deep goal conceded by West Ham. Moyes will be getting the Glasgow heavies in for that one.

[Waffdon]

Joao Pedro and Mitoma on. This is about to be a massacre

[Ben]

It better be. Need one more goal for scenes.

[Waffdon]

How has Milner not been sent off? He’s given the penalty away without trying to win the ball.

Not sure it was a penalty, mind.

[Ben]

There we go. Easy money.

Bomb scare defences at both ends.

[Manc]

Is Ian Wright wearing a tent?

[Spikey M]

Man City are going to hit double figures today.

[Gray Fox]

This has been coming. Very sloppy and look knackered. Unsure why Goe Jomez is sent on to play right back in a game we need to push for a goal.

[Baz]

:jayjay:

[Don]

Gomez on and leaving those two favela fucks upfront. There needs to be a one favela fuck limit in our front three at all times ffs. Or, even better, sell the malnourished one to some poor cunts.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Chelsea engaged in the ultimate clinging on for dear life here. Brighton could have had about five just in stoppage time.

[Ben]

An absolute refereeing shambles at the Bridge. :D

[Gray Fox]

Anfield :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pawson is always fucking awful, never seen him have a good game.

Tres puntos, fuck off seagulls.

[Waffdon]

An absolute refereeing shambles at the Bridge. :D

The only thing I can think of is the referee gave a penalty on field. Which would explain the drop ball and no corner

[Waffdon]

Fair play to Liverpool winning every week whilst looking toilet.

[Baz]

Fair play to Liverpool winning every week whilst looking toilet.Ridiculous statement today. Alisson in net and it’s 4-0

[Don]

Fair play to Liverpool winning every week whilst looking toilet.

As opposed to what, Arsenal's all commanding performances? This is December son. And our xG backs up our results.

[Ben]

Mike Dean on commentary. What? :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That is a top notch counter attack.

[niko_cee]

G'wan Spurs.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Doku showing there why he will never start in a real big game. Completely one-dimensional player.

[Waffdon]

It’s quite sad Spurs won fuck all with two players like Son and Kane up front for 7/8 years

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Son :lol:

[Waffdon]

Beautiful timing :lol:

[Shindig]

Oh. Oh, dear. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

It’s quite sad Spurs won fuck all with two players like Son and Kane up front for 7/8 years

Clearly skipped a few classes in your Chelsea fan training.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Haaland is done.

[Ben]

Doku showing there why he will never start in a real big game. Completely one-dimensional player.

I was talking about this with my Dad yesterday. How Pep is managing minutes already and come the end of the season when they're in semi finals and the like again, Grealish will be back in.

[Manc]

Must be nice to have a £100m option. Ban the cunts already.

[Don]

Onana is a liability, Doku is one-dimensional, Morgan Freeman is limited, we said this would happen when they came :happycry:

[Gray Fox]

Ridiculous statement today. Alisson in net and it’s 4-0

Indeed even a keeper with actual hands gets at least one of the first two.

[Spikey M]

Bryan Gil needs to head back to Spain ASAP.

[niko_cee]

And our xG backs up our results.

Didn't see the game, but, going off the live text it sounds like of Liverpool's 2.8 xG or whatever it was, maybe 0.3 of them were the actual goals [were all 4 from outside the box?] and the other 2.5 was Nunez missing sitters.

[Gray Fox]

Didn't see the game, but, going off the live text it sounds like of Liverpool's 2.8 xG or whatever it was, maybe 0.3 of them were the actual goals [were all 4 from outside the box?] and the other 2.5 was Nunez missing sitters.

Correct.

Alexis will never hit one that good again in his life.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Grealish booting the ball away so he gets suspended against Villa :lol:

[niko_cee]

He's done well to pick up 5 bookings having apparently barely played all season.

[Don]

No Rodri, Doku or Grealish for Villa away? :drool:

[niko_cee]

Correct.

Alexis will never hit one that good again in his life.

According to understat the xGs were 0.03 for MacAllister and Trent and 0.05 for Endo. No xG available for the first which was an OG it would seem, but I'm guessing the xG on a direct freekick is pretty low generally. Actually I think it was also 0.05. 4 goals, 0.16xG.

:happycry:

Did Darwin a disservice though as Salah appears to have accounted for a whole xG not converted himself.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:harold:

City have been wank in the second half.

Lovely hit by Lo Celso.

[niko_cee]

Ederson has been a bit shit for both of their goals.

Probably a bit early to score though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Haaland missed two genuine sitters in the first half, open goals, presumably out of complacency/laziness. They have to look at him if they don't win this.

[Don]

The sooner this stadium and club are sent to the National League, the better. Such a dull non-entity with fuck all atmosphere.

[niko_cee]

Bissouma. For goodness sake.

:face:

Angeball is genuinely retarded.

[niko_cee]

lol

[Don]

I was kissing goodbye to the league title about 2 hours ago. Football :drool:

[niko_cee]

Top work by the ref.

The seethe.

:drool:

Never a penalty either.

They can boo whatever the national league anthem is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Who were they booing at the end there? Or is it just now tradition to boo if you don't win?

[niko_cee]

Who were they booing at the end there? Or is it just now tradition to boo if you don't win?

Corrupt refs mate.

Corrupt!

[Spikey M]

How have they not won against a team with no centrebacks?

[Don]

As if fat-calves was going to do anything from that position with about 30 yards of grass to still sprint across :D

[niko_cee]

Manchester City 3 [2.91] - 3 [0.43] Tottenham

Ouch.

Trying to dig into how these things are actually worked out I do wonder to what extent xG has played a part in the development of cutback culture, as that's where so much xG seems to be hiding.

[Dark Soldier]

xG is the worst thing in the game it means absolutely fuck all

[Spikey M]

1495118079667412998?t=jAEY3i7RNwUjn58S-FkA7g&s=19

:D

[Waffdon]

You’d imagine the fact there’s Liverpool and Arsenal up there this year one team might not shit the bed as much. Doubtful though.

[niko_cee]

Arsenal will undoubtedly shit the bed and Liverpool are all over the place much of the time.

City look a bit iffy though so who knows.

For all the managing minutes talk, whenever Liverpool have run City ridiculously close they have had very strong second halves of the season.

Got to get to Christmas first though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

City just don't drop points after Christmas though. They go into robot mode.

[Waffdon]

Arsenal will undoubtedly shit the bed and Liverpool are all over the place much of the time.

City look a bit iffy though so who knows.

For all the managing minutes talk, whenever Liverpool have run City ridiculously close they have had very strong second halves of the season.

Got to get to Christmas first though.

I don’t even think City have been managing minutes. It’s the same midfield and attack every game

[Gray Fox]

According to understat the xGs were 0.03 for MacAllister and Trent and 0.05 for Endo. No xG available for the first which was an OG it would seem, but I'm guessing the xG on a direct freekick is pretty low generally. Actually I think it was also 0.05. 4 goals, 0.16xG.

:happycry:

Did Darwin a disservice though as Salah appears to have accounted for a whole xG not converted himself.

Not often we win a game where Darwin and Salah are shit. Szoboszlai looks absolutely goosed too. That night off in the last Europa game could be crucial for resting.

[niko_cee]

Just stumbled across the Barcelona game on ITV4. Is there a reason it appears to be being played in an empty stadium?

I wondered if it was not in the Nou Camp, but the guide thing said it was. It isn't, evidently. Still, pretty poor.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Nou Camp is shut for refurb and half the 'members' don't go to this place up the hill.

There was a grand prix up there in the 70s with hilarious consequences / not hilarious for the several local residents who got wiped out by Rolf Stommelen's car.

[niko_cee]

'Atleti' are absolute wank.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That Uruguayan is undoubtedly going to get himself sent off trying to boot Joao Felix. The old typecast roles are the best.

[Spikey M]

It's just occurred to me that this may be the first time I've seen them play since Griezmann left and his return had completely by-passed me.

[niko_cee]

That penalty against Milner is so soft. What is it for? The arm or the tangle of legs? Because the latter only happens because Mudryk is falling over to try and get a penalty.

[Don]

PGMOL statement said it's for the greasy twat continually deciding to give the past-it gammon playing time.

[niko_cee]

2 game ban inbound for Haaland for foul and abusive towards the ref?

:drool:

I doubt it.

[niko_cee]

I see the Sheff Utd manager is about to get the bullet. Was hoping we might get through Wednesday without the need to overcome a new manager bounce.

[Waffdon]

That penalty against Milner is so soft. What is it for? The arm or the tangle of legs? Because the latter only happens because Mudryk is falling over to try and get a penalty.

I didn’t think it was a penalty at first but it definitely is. He trips him up with his feet (twice, really). No idea how he isn’t sent off.

[niko_cee]

I think to not be saved by the double jeopardy rule it has to be really super blatant that you are taking them out, and anything that can be filed under 'tussling for the ball' gets ushered away with a yellow. The tangle of feet only comes after Mudryk starts to go down having been stiff-armed. Not above the 'clear and obvious' threshold for me, particularly since apparently the mantra of all contact is a foul is specifically not applied now. That said, if given by the ref it would have stood up so meh, stupid system.

[Ben]

I see the Sheff Utd manager is about to get the bullet. Was hoping we might get through Wednesday without the need to overcome a new manager bounce.

They’re absolute dogshit and a new manager won’t do anything. I said half way through last season when Carrick came into Middlesbrough and started steamrollering everyone with a fairly mediocre squad to the degree we almost made it after being in the bottom three in October, that the standard (other than Burnley) was the worst it’s been in many years and there’d need to be miracles for either Luton or Sheff Utd to stay up. Luton have been quite cute so far although I don’t think it’ll save them but Sheff Utd lost Berge and have recruited terribly.

[niko_cee]

I recall Tony Pulis taking over an absolutely doomed Crystal Palace and somehow guiding them to safety and perhaps never having been relegated since? Funny old game and all.


four points from 11 games

[Gray Fox]

Liverpool haven't beaten a promoted team away in what, 2 or 3 years now? There'll have to be some rotation at play but you'd hope they can get by Sheffield.

[Shindig]

The problem is there's no Tony Pulis on the market.

[Ben]

Exactly, which is why it sounds like they’re bringing back Wilder.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They should be bringing back Warnock, not Wilder.

[Spikey M]

What is the Lesser Spotted Alan Pardew up to these days?

[Shindig]

Unemployed. Managed Aris in Greece for five months until he got binned.

[niko_cee]

Just realised City have to fuck off at the end of the month for the Club World Cup. Further strain on their struggling small family squad poor diddums.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just seen that Saudi Arabia will host the quarter-finals, semis and final of the Asian CL for the next 8 years in succession.

Don't think we've seen anything yet, they are going to get everything and everyone.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You have to laugh at this stuff coming out about Erik ten Hag 'losing elements of the dressing room'. Hardly a surprise that a Dutchman doesn't have world class people skills, but this has happened to every manager for almost a decade now. Who exactly does Marcus Rashford (for example) think he is?

[Waffdon]

Easy home win on Wednesday to relieve a bit of pressure.

[Kikó]

I really wish they would all fuck the fuck off. Imagine having that little self awareness to not realise you're the problem.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm seeing similar things across all sports at the moment. The consequence of these guys a) living in a protective bubble b) having so much money they feel like gods and c) having been told they are wonderful all their lives. They're not bright boys and believe the lot.

[niko_cee]

Don't think we've seen anything yet, they are going to get everything and everyone.

Including John Rahm if the chatter is correct.

Who would have thought the end of humanity/the transition to Brave New World/Necromunda/District 9 would be this mundane?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm just hoping that cricket is too shit for them to lay their mits on, but more likely they'll get that too for all the Indian tourists.

[randomlegend]

I'm seeing similar things across all sports at the moment. The consequence of these guys a) living in a protective bubble b) having so much money they feel like gods and c) having been told they are wonderful all their lives. They're not bright boys and believe the lot.

Sounds like the conservative party

[niko_cee]

I see Sheff Utd have finally officially sacked Heckingbottom. A bit unedifying to leave it hanging in the media for over a day.

[Gray Fox]

I'll just go an pencil in the 1-0 win to Sheffield United now then.

[niko_cee]

Burnley player going down there holding his face pure embarrassment.

Reckon they need to spice up the VAR a bit by giving them discretion to tell the ref when they think someone's tried to con them [diving, feigning injury/face holding] and get them to dole out yellows for it.

[Lofty]

Feels like the kind of game Arsenal could shit the bed with a sending off here.

[Ben]

David Raya, another keeper bought for his ability to kick the ball nicely rather than his ability to clear out the attacker and claim a cross right on his head.

[Waffdon]

Yeah. These midget Spanish keepers are really no use. They all have the same faults.

[phonics]

David Raya is absolutely abysmal.

[Waffdon]

:D

I don’t even think Ramsdale is all that but he’s miles clear of this gimp

[Don]

Barkley has looked the best midfielder by a mile tonight which is some effort when you're sharing the field with
Bergkamp's regen, £250m Future England Captain and some poor German donkey.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Onana > Raya.

[phonics]

David Raya has made a grand total of 1 save that my nan couldn't in 6 months. Get the fuck in the bin.

[Waffdon]

Arsenal will still win but not a chance they’re winning the league. Full strength side conceding 3 to these plumbers is some effort. Tough couple of games coming up so hopefully that finishes them off.

[Waffdon]

Might be recency bias creeping in but there seems to be a ridiculous amount of goals in the PL this season. Prime Barclays.

Go to Spain and Italy and struggle to see more than 2 goals in games.

[phonics]

Waka Waka Hey Hey
David Raya concedes again.

[Ben]

Might be recency bias creeping in but there seems to be a ridiculous amount of goals in the PL this season. Prime Barclays.

Go to Spain and Italy and struggle to see more than 2 goals in games.

Indeed there is. I keep a spreadsheet to identify games where overs/unders and BTTS are most likely.

Unders is often League One, Italy and some Spain/France (second levels) normally.

Overs is usually League Two (lots of games), Germany and indeed more recently, The Barclays.

[niko_cee]

David Raya, another keeper bought for his ability to kick the ball nicely rather than his ability to clear out the attacker and claim a cross right on his head.

I thought it was funny on the Monday Night Club last night where they had Dan Burn talking about footballers just being footballers now, in a narrative where positions are clearly a bit passé and everyone now is firstly a 'good footballer' and secondly a whatever [midfielder, right back etc] as if, in the past, there has been some sort of hard cap on 'good footballers' and all of the other positions who aren't centre forwards or midfielders have just been filled with tall people and some mug off the street to fill in at left back.

[niko_cee]

Have the Women GB dreams been Digrace of Gijon (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disgrace_of_Gij%C3%B3n)'d by Les Belgiques throwing a few in late against Holland? Trust the Scotch to not even be able to roll over properly.

[Waffdon]

I don’t know why but Arsenal have too many lefties in their team and it pisses me off.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bollocks.

[Manc]

Inevitable.

[Waffdon]

Wankers.

[phonics]

#Back

[Don]

When is Ben White gonna come out? That kind of mental fragility is why these cunts will never win anything.

[Ben]

Does Ben White live on a sunbed?

[phonics]

Ben White got a stupid shitty haircut/dye job and we lost and it was gone by the next time we played so he's a good egg.

[Lofty]

Arsenal will still win but not a chance they’re winning the league. Full strength side conceding 3 to these plumbers is some effort. Tough couple of games coming up so hopefully that finishes them off.

Kiwior left back probably a factor. Still Raya not good enough and they should have obliterated them. Taz will enjoy it, I think Odegaard was pretty weak in the middle tonight. I'm not expecting Vieira levels but he seemed notably worse than usual when it came to physical battles.

[phonics]

He was immense in the second half. What are you talking about.

[Lofty]

Odegaard? Fantastic at the end yes but he was caught in posession a few times and the Barkley goal was a direct result of him getting disposessed then going down like he was crocked.

[phonics]

I mean the goal was a direct result of the guy whos role is to block shots on goal jumping out of the way.

[Lofty]

Yes but maybe Barkley isn't stood there in space with his cock out if the albino tracks back rather than looks for a foul. The fact he never seemed to appear again on camera at the time I thought they were going to say he was injured and going off.

[niko_cee]

Just reading the BBC puff piece of Szoboszlai and this caught my attention:


Szoboszlai is ahead of everyone since [1980s and 1990s star] Lajos Detari

Absolute legend on CM2.

:cool:

[Don]

The Nazi really needs to stop thinking the Hairy Hungarian is dispensable. Every time he gets subbed off usually leads to a fucking tragic downturn in performance.

[Gray Fox]

I think he's suffered for being Hungary captain. Over the last international break he got zero rest and he's looked knackered since he got back.

[Don]

My man did a shot of palinka in the last international break to celebrate their qualification. Last time I did that shit I took about 6 months to fully recover. Regardless, I don't ever want to see the likes of Luis Fucking Diaz remain on a pitch ahead of him.

[Waffdon]

Never seen a more obvious Man Utd win. Dressing room lost. Rashford being hounded out. Hojlund with no PL goal.

Get your money on Rashford/Hojlund both scoring on the break.

[Shindig]

Pope out for four months. Paper waffle suggests we're looking at De Gea.

[John Arne]

It's time.....

https://gyazo.com/941283b62d1a30d0676ad3094dfec74e.jpeg

[Shindig]

Ahead of a League Cup winner? Steady on.

[Danny]

November POTM :nodd:

https://i.imgur.com/mNY7heq.jpg

[Don]

We may notch up a basketball score here.

[Spikey M]

Just a shit Nile Ranger. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-67612757)

[Baz]

Kelleher in net again. What’s Adrian gotta do.

[Waffdon]

You could play Klopp in goal and it wouldn’t make a difference

[Don]

That Brazillian kid on our bench has the height to be a prospect.

[Waffdon]

Reece James on the bench. :sick:

Garnacho and Hojlund running down the Chelsea right side is going to be a massacre on the break. Got to be one of the slowest defences in the league that back 4.

[niko_cee]

That Brazillian kid on our bench has the height to be a prospect.

Isn't he a 'keeper?

[Don]

Isn't he a 'keeper?

Yeah, I suppose if he's still not getting a sniff he's probably just there as some sort of toyboy for the favela rats but one more Kelleher performance like last game and you never know.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I didn't know Amazon had Jeff Stelling harnessing things on a multi-feed. This is a game changer.

I don't support a team in particular, I just love good football.

[Waffdon]

I see he is also on Talksport in the mornings as well now. Why even bother retiring in the first place.

[Baz]

Eeee bad one for Mac.

[niko_cee]

Considering what Jones was sent off for against Spurs how is that now a take a look please job?

He's just stamped on his knee.

"accidental" "unfortunate"

:happycry:

[Manc]

Peak Goe Jomez on display. Grab the popcorn.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, he's looking predictably catastrophic.

[Boydy]

Alexander-Arnold's arse on display there.

[Waffdon]

The goal standing is mental. He’s decked the boy and been left on his own from it.

[niko_cee]

The goal standing is mental. He’s decked the boy and been left on his own from it.

You mean the guy who ran into the back of him, whilst also trying to foul his man?

Bit of a slippery slope if defenders are allowed to run full tilt into the backs of attacking players and claim a foul.

lol at Van Dijk now VAR symboling though.

[Waffdon]

You mean the guy who ran into the back of him, whilst also trying to foul his man?

Bit of a slippery slope if defenders are allowed to run full tilt into the backs of attacking players and claim a foul.

lol at Van Dijk now VAR symboling though.

You’d fit in well on football twitter