December: Rockin' around the Premier League

[niko_cee]

Let's just say it was "unfortunate" I believe that's the Stockley Park term.

[niko_cee]

Anyway, worrying times at Steve Cooper towers by the looks of things.

[Waffdon]

Bloody hell, it’s Cucurella at right back and a centre back at left back again. Just play folk in their actual positions, m8.

[Jimmy Floyd]

And now I'm watching Man U v Chelsea with no commentary and stadium sounds only. Build a statue to Bezos and I will fellate it daily.

[Waffdon]

Getting absolutely battered by this Man Utd team is some effort. Poch cannot set a team up to be solid for the life of him.

[Waffdon]

And now I'm watching Man U v Chelsea with no commentary and stadium sounds only. Build a statue to Bezos and I will fellate it daily.

I’d turn it off now if I were you. Same old shite incoming.

[Lewis]

I don't think things like that should be penalties. It's not like he was still involved in any useful play.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's quite new shite actually as Cucurella is on the wrong side and therefore doesn't know how to position his body. That was soft as shit but has to be a pen really.

Pathetically taken, thankfully.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fucking hell.

[Ben]

The Rat. :harold:

[Waffdon]

He’s set Chelsea up like a basketball batch after going on about being wary of Man Utd on the break and being dangerous that way. Make it make sense.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Two genuinely atrocious teams on the park here.

[Don]

I thought our season was done with that Mac injury but 5 mins later and I know it's over as we're a Konate muscle tear away from Gomez.

[niko_cee]

Chelsea look wildly bad here. Does anyone know where they are meant to be playing?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

McSauce :drool:

[Danny]

I don't think things like that should be penalties. It's not like he was still involved in any useful play.

That was my thought too watching the replays but at the same time you can’t just let people stick one on someone because they aren’t involved.

[Ben]

This Amazon goals show is atrocious. They’ve clearly got a TV in the studio about ten seconds ahead of what the viewer is seeing so their live commentary makes no sense. And Tim Sherwood needs firing into the sun.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Was Hojlund not offside there?

[Waffdon]

Chelsea look wildly bad here. Does anyone know where they are meant to be playing?

Manager has been a disgrace at times this season. The most unbalanced side he could have possibly picked against a side who only do well on the break. Massive gaps between the midfield and defence because Thiago Silva has to sit deep as fuck.

The most predictable start imaginable.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This Amazon goals show is atrocious. They’ve clearly got a TV in the studio about ten seconds ahead of what the viewer is seeing so their live commentary makes no sense. And Tim Sherwood needs firing into the sun.

I tried watching it for a bit but Sherwood is far too much.

[niko_cee]

Was Hojlund not offside there?

Yes, in 1985.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Waff, Gary Glitter is a disgrace. Mauricio Pochettino is just a football manager.

[niko_cee]

Has Sterling somehow dived out of the way of getting kicked there or has he fallen victim to the not enough to go down discretion which is obviously going to be an absolute disaster in its implementation?

[Jimmy Floyd]

That one on Sterling didn't look any less of a pen than theirs either. The best thing about having no commentators is you are, much like the people in the ground, completely in the dark about VAR. I'll read about it in tomorrow's paper I guess.

[Lewis]

Wasn't that a terrible dive if it wasn't a penalty?

[SvN]

Jimmy is like a throwback to his 2009 personality tonight.

Chelsea are making us look competent, which is some going.

[Waffdon]

There’s about 3 competent keepers in this league. All teams should agree to not buy Spanish ones anyway. They’re all fucking shite

[niko_cee]

Jesus.

Chelsea are getting wrecked down their right.

Sterling passing there. :face:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Moo-Drik?

[Danny]

Thank god Ukraine Bolt can’t finish

[Manc]

Are all games involving Chelsea this open? Poch out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jackson is like Bez from the Happy Mondays. Fucking love him.

[Waffdon]

Jesus.

Chelsea are getting wrecked down their right.

Sterling passing there. :face:

If the back 4 wasn’t wide open enough he’s got 2 wingers ahead of the full backs who don’t ever track back. The whole set up just doesn’t make sense whatsoever.

Watching Sterling/mudryk/jackson try and hit a ball cleanly at goal is not fun.

[Waffdon]

Are all games involving Chelsea this open? Poch out.

They have been recently. Got fed up of losing 1-0 and not breaking shite teams down and has went the other way with it.

[niko_cee]

Peak harum scarum stuff though. Every time I click back into it someone is going through on goal or falling over or shinning the ball into a dangerous position.

Apparently Villa are bossing City, but no goals, so expect a 0-3 to roll in in the second half.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't want to sound like Waff or one of those tedious farts from twitter here, but Cucurella at right back is just about the worst selection ever. When the ball comes his way he is always turning inside and having to let it run back onto his left (because he doesn't know how to either use his right foot or even be facing in a direction to potentially use it) and that is giving their press an extra 2-3 seconds every time, which bears fruit in the next phase by which time Garnacho has 8 yards of space on that side because Cucurella's out of the game.

[Clunge]

We've been absolutely sensational in this first half. Leon Bailey terrorising Gvardiol. McGinn the ultimate irritant. Kamara cleaning everything up. Lovely stuff.

[niko_cee]

Properly class finish.

Love Mudryk taking the assist plaudits.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Golazo golazo. He'd been dire until that point too.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That is some goal.

[Waffdon]

Man Utd are fucking shite. If Poch has anything about him he changes things in the 2nd half an pisses this.

Nae danger he changes anything though.

[Ian]

That was utterly predictable.

Two proper garbage teams here though. Score could be anything.

[niko_cee]

Top work by Agent Cucurella kicking Luke Shaw in the ankle and falling over to get the foul.

See Jimmy, he's not completely useless.

[John Arne]

John Fleck is a very Scottish looking man.

[niko_cee]

Wissa landing a left hook on Gimour.

Just an accident though. Unfortunate.

[Ben]

Cucurella is absolutely tragic. Brighton pulled off the con of the century with that one.

[niko_cee]

Cucurella is absolutely tragic. Brighton pulled off the con of the century with that one.

They well knew this. The price was meant to deter City, which worked. It didn't factor in Boehlyball logic.

Another 5-0 pasting going to lead to the next managerial sacking.

[Waffdon]

Chelsea got battered in the 1st half against Newcastle the other week and somehow went in 1-1. Nothing was changed in the 2nd half and got beat 4-1.

Lets see if he’s learned from one of his many mistakes

[niko_cee]

The way the crowd empties out at the Amex on a regular basis is such a disgrace, ground is barely half full by the end of the game much of the time.

[Waffdon]

Getting mauled and run over by a Man Utd press is some doing. Literally everyone has lost the ability to trap a ball under pressure

[Lewis]

lol at those absolute nerds sat in front of Sean Dyche.

[Lewis]

That looked like a penalty.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not sure why you do the short goal kicks if your centre backs just stand on it and get pressed to death before mis-kicking it 30 yards away on the hoof. Might as well cut out the middle man and hoof it to start with.

[John Arne]

Just switched one to Man Utd - Chelsea. Tragic stuff, with every other pass going to the opposition. Two pretty average teams.

Chelsea must have someone better than Jackson... Like a 17yr youth player. Anyone.

[niko_cee]

It deflected off someone's arse about 4 inches away from Colwill, give over.

Chelsea seem to have no intention of defending down the right. United able to do whatever they want down that flank.

[Lofty]

I see he is also on Talksport in the mornings as well now. Why even bother retiring in the first place.

Soccer Saturday stat research was apparently quite intensive plus they sacked all his mates.

[Lewis]

Garnacho's end product has been non-existent but he's retiring Rashford on effort.

[Waffdon]

pochettino: make a tactical change challenge

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

McSauce is just too good.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Reece James absolutely ballwatching there, might as well have just brought on another midfielder or something and abandoned the flank entirely.

[Clunge]

Leon Bailey putting in the performance of his career tonight.

[Lewis]

I would love it if the season turned around on using him as a lump number ten like how 'LvG' used Fellaini during that weird run where they were mega for six weeks.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Should have buried that.

[Waffdon]

pochettino just makes players worse. Has Reece James playing like an absolute mong. Enzo Fernandez has fallen off the face of the earth. Can’t get a tune out of Caicedo.

I don’t get it. Nothing he does makes sense. No wonder Man Utd avoided him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

pochettino just makes players worse. Has Reece James playing like an absolute mong. Enzo Fernandez has fallen off the face of the earth. Can’t get a tune out of Caicedo.

I don’t get it. Nothing he does makes sense. No wonder Man Utd avoided him.

Your problem is that your expectations are far too high. In flirting with the top half we're doing far better than I thought we would. We've got a gypsy flower seller up front and your dad at the back ffs.

[-james-]

City's squad depth doesn't look what it used to be. I've never seen him play but they can't be running around with some bloke called Oscar Bobb.

[Manc]

This cameo from Reece James is spectacular.

[Waffdon]

Your problem is that your expectations are far too high. In flirting with the top half we're doing far better than I thought we would. We've got a gypsy flower seller up front and your dad at the back ffs.

Not playing my dad at centre half would help but he doesn’t see it and doesn’t look he ever will. Started the season playing Colwill at left back and Chilwell at left wing. Play Colwill and Badiashile or Disasi. Play full backs at full back.

And do something on the training ground to practice playing out from the back if you’re going to persist with it

[Waffdon]

Watching another 6 months of Silva and Sanchez playing out from the back is enough to send anyone off the Tay Bridge

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not playing my dad at centre half would help but he doesn’t see it and doesn’t look he ever will. Started the season playing Colwill at left back and Chilwell at left wing. Play Colwill and Badiashile or Disasi. Play full backs at full back.

And do something on the training ground to practice playing out from the back if you’re going to persist with it

He has to play Thiago Silva at least some of the time because of numbers / fitness, and if you have to play him some of the time then you can't commit to a style which he can't play. Therefore you might as well play him all of the time and gain his other qualities in terms of what the others will be learning from him.

It will (or should) get better over time, the next two or three years, you just have to be far more patient than either you or anyone your age and younger are willing to be.

[niko_cee]

Can’t get a tune out of Caicedo.


Can't be emphasized enough how bobbins he's looked for Chelsea.

Perhaps not that surprising on the manager front though, I mean, he managed to not win the league with PSG didn't he? And not even to some generational group like Monaco, to fucking Lille led by some Canadian donkey.

[Waffdon]

Losing to Brentford, Forest and Villa at home was bad enough but these last two away performances should be the writing on the wall.

Genuinely one of the worst performances I have seen. Man Utd struggled to ease past Luton, Brentford, Fulham and Sheffield United recently. They’ve just had 12 corners, 30 odd shots and for James and other stat fans over 4 XG. :sick:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Midfield pair are just wildly inexperienced. It's easy to look good in 20 games for Brighton when you have a defined role in a team that's been evolving over a period of time; when you come into a team that has been thrown together by some cheeseburger-eating maniac in a flurry of dollar bills then experience really counts, and they don't have any.

Palmer has thrived because his skillset is led by being calm amid the chaos.

[Waffdon]

He has to play Thiago Silva at least some of the time because of numbers / fitness, and if you have to play him some of the time then you can't commit to a style which he can't play. Therefore you might as well play him all of the time and gain his other qualities in terms of what the others will be learning from him.

It will (or should) get better over time, the next two or three years, you just have to be far more patient than either you or anyone your age and younger are willing to be.

A serious club does not play a 39 year old every week. Especially in an open team who play 4 at the back with players out of position.

Things would automatically improve considerably by dropping him and I can’t emphasise it enough. He’s been the catalyst of shite. People go on about 2021 as if that was down to him. Rudiger held that defence together.

[-james-]

Chelsea kicked off favourites away at the sixth best team in the league and that matters more than anything that happened during the match.

*logs off*

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, and then when Badiashile blows a hammy next week then he has to come back in and the team has to change style again, train differently, and are then also even more reliant on fewer people in the full back positions which are filled by injury-prone losers as it is.

It's nowhere near as simple as just punting the old man and ask questions later. Now I will say we should have recruited better so that we weren't having to use him by this point in his lifespan, but that's not the manager's fault.

[SvN]

Man Utd (4.46) 2-1 (1.52) Chelsea

[Don]

Antony ball gettingthe maggots hyped just in time for 17 Dec.

Someone called him "21 Average" :D

[Waffdon]

Yeah, and then when Badiashile blows a hammy next week then he has to come back in and the team has to change style again, train differently, and are then also even more reliant on fewer people in the full back positions which are filled by injury-prone losers as it is.

It's nowhere near as simple as just punting the old man and ask questions later. Now I will say we should have recruited better so that we weren't having to use him by this point in his lifespan, but that's not the manager's fault.

Silva is leaving either in January or the summer. Why in the fuck would you build your team around him. Colwill and Badiashile should both be ahead of him as should Disasi for the right hand side. Playing Silva and Disasi together makes little to no sense unless you’re a bottom 3 team camping in your own box.

He has plenty right backs in the academy (one of the best in the world) he could use at right back if both 1st team players are unavailable but he chooses to play a left back or centre back there. He has had the best player in the Championship last year on the bench all year long and refuses to play him left back over a centre back or a Spanish hobbit. Started the season playing Ben fucking Chilwell as the furthest forward attacker for the first 5 weeks of the season which seen losses and draws to Nottingham Forest, Bournemouth, West Ham and Aston Villa. I wonder why you’re struggling to break a team down with him and Sterling on each wing incapable of making pass or lifting their heads.

And don’t get me started on whatever fucking role he has Fernandez attempting to play. He’s not Frank Lampard. He should not be playing box to box and leaving Caicedo all on his own trying to not lose the possession after one of the centre half fires a grenade at his knee whilst 3 players close him down and he’s on his own.

He’ll probably play Nkunku in a midfield 3 at this rate.

[randomlegend]

McTominay is a massive problem because he's the only person in the entire squad who currently seems capable of scoring, but our midfield gets passed through like it doesn't exist by any competent team whenever he plays.

Also lol at Taz and Waff trying to tell me Jackson wasn't shit in the summer. Pair of mongs.

[Waffdon]

I’ve seen what you look like. You shouldn’t be throwing that word about buddy

[randomlegend]

:happycry:

[Manc]

City really can't function without Rodri.

[Waffdon]

City really can't function without Rodri.

Didn’t create a single chance after the first 15 mins.

[Don]

SVN posting xGs, RL having the front to step into a football thread again, just what is Egghead cooking? :drool:

[Gray Fox]

While City have done well in having the best first XI now and probably about the best first XI they've had, it's come at the cost of losing their depth. There's nothing ridiculous like having a player like Mahrez coming off the bench to save a game. Nunes is not a replacement for Gundogan and Gvardiol is not a full back. Granted they're currently down the best midfielder in the league and were also missing Rodri too, who is massive for them, but that's a lot of points dropped for their usual lofty standards.

In much worse news though it seems we've witnessed our last Joel Matip adventure as it's been confirmed he ruptured his ACL and is done for the season. He's out of contract at the end of the season and will be 33 before the next one starts. I'd be amazed if he got an extension even if it was favourable terms.

[Shindig]

De Bruyne will always be a big miss for them.

[Manc]

Hinshelwood looking like a competition winner.

[Kikó]

United were pretty good yesterday but also gave a pretty average Chelsea 5-6 easy chances to score/equalise. I don't think there's much to read into it but it's pretty funny we're only 3 behind city despite being this bad.

[Browning]

Joey Barton’s Twitter is sensational this afternoon.

[Gray Fox]

Another Eunuch hiding in plain sight!

[Spikey M]

I'm not sure it's a cause I'd sacrifice my own career for, but yeah. :D

[phonics]

What career? He's a failure of a manager so is just getting on the grifter train.

[Shindig]

He just needed something to overshadow his remarks about the kid his brother axed.

[Gray Fox]

In other news, last night Santos of Brazil conceded a 96th minute goal which caused them to lose 2-1 and be relegated from the Brazilian Serie A for the first time ever. Their fans have taken it well as you can imagine.

[Yevrah]

Really it's the Men's fault for phoning it in for so long. Nobody who is actually any good as a pundit has been displaced by this female invasion, or whatever Barton thinks it is and you can clearly see a lot of them are far more comfortable giving an actual opinion as they're not scared of running into the subject of said opinion on a golf course.

[Waffdon]

In other news, last night Santos of Brazil conceded a 96th minute goal which caused them to lose 2-1 and be relegated from the Brazilian Serie A for the first time ever. Their fans have taken it well as you can imagine.

Todd Boehly is definitely going to try and buy them.

[Ian]

Really it's the Men's fault for phoning it in for so long. Nobody who is actually any good as a pundit has been displaced by this female invasion, or whatever Barton thinks it is and you can clearly see a lot of them are far more comfortable giving an actual opinion as they're not scared of running into the subject of said opinion on a golf course.

Yep. I commented on it at the time but the first England game after Henderson went to Saudi the pundits when asked were all giving it "Oh, yeah, erm, well, Hendo, y'know, experience, like, leadership, class player, erm, trusted by Southgate" and then they cut to Jill Scott who gave an actual opinion on it.

Joe Cole is the fucking pits when Channel 4 show any England games. A shameless chearleader.

[Don]

Don't entertain twitter discourse and if you want to level up, don't consume any punditry. TV off during all punditry but the real hack is to watch football without commentary or, failing that, with foreign commentary.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Really it's the Men's fault for phoning it in for so long. Nobody who is actually any good as a pundit has been displaced by this female invasion, or whatever Barton thinks it is and you can clearly see a lot of them are far more comfortable giving an actual opinion as they're not scared of running into the subject of said opinion on a golf course.

If anything more of the male pundits should have been forced out.

How Savage, "Fletch", Sherwood etc etc all have jobs is amazing.

[niko_cee]

Let's not pretend most of the women aren't also dreadful. The lack of any meaningful journalistic input into TV stuff is generally what makes it rubbish [RIP The Sunday Supplement], just party line presenters and left school at 15 footballers [male or female] who have very little of interest to say for the most part. Getting upset about it is a bit performative though as I'm not sure what is expected. There were no halcyon days of football punditry. Just Alan Hansen saying you couldn't win anything with kids and the banterlads on Sky.

[Ian]

Oh yeah loads of them are also garbage. Professional footballers just generally fall into two categories of either having nothing to say beyond platitudes and cliches or just being contrarian twats, but being matey with the people they're talking about doesn't help.

It'd be much better if they had journos in the mix but then you'd just get the same "but you haven't played the game :cry: :mad:" nonsense.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What footballers do is instinct and muscle memory, most don't have a clue what's going on. Those that do become coaches. Punditry must be a very boring job. The best ones are those, like Ian Wright, Chris Kamara or McCoist, who actually convey an enjoyment of the game.

[Spikey M]

1732738622955180540?t=-mcGIragqa_HppDk9hVagA&s=19

:lol:

[Lewis]

I love that account.

[Lofty]

That Leeds bird with the massive cans should be fronting Soccer Saturday, Sky Italia style. Makes Jules Breach look like Neal Maupay.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Turning the commentary off for a Goodison game is a very different experience. The grievance of these people is incredible. Imagine being a grown adult and spending two hours out in the December night-time cold, concentrating hard, just in case Anthony Gordon gets the ball and you must then contort your body to emit the noise büüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüü using every molecule of oxygen that passes through your sorry lungs, and for this to really mean something to you, for this to be a large part of your identity as a man. This is who you are. This is what makes you whole.

[Don]

What the fuck has DCL just done, the raging homosexual piece of shit?

[Jimmy Floyd]

It was pretty much full Rosenthal wasn't it.

Joelinton gives us all hope. Maybe we should move Nicolas Jackson back into midfield.

[Manc]

Is it just my eyes or is the Prime coverage a lot smoother than Sky?

[Baz]

Yeah Prime picture quality is second to none.

[Giggles]

They're complete lockout here. Not bothered myself but lots of people complaining that you can't even buy them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The second half of this game has been borderline unwatchable with the number of players from both sides going down injured and stopping the play. Seems like footballers just can't cope physically at the moment.

[niko_cee]

Bring me the one you call McNeil.

Top quality backing off from the Newcastle defender. :cab:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Some world class dilly-dallying by Trippier to cause it. Don't see that much these days.

Wait, is that Beto coming back from injury? The CL awaits.

[Waffdon]

Some world class dilly-dallying by Trippier to cause it. Don't see that much these days.

Wait, is that Beto coming back from injury? The CL awaits.

He’s just done it again :D

[Spikey M]

The second half of this game has been borderline unwatchable with the number of players from both sides going down injured and stopping the play. Seems like footballers just can't cope physically at the moment.

I've no idea how true it is, but I've heard some mumbling that the lengthy stoppages for VAR checks are to blame, as their muscles are cooling down while they stand around waiting.

[niko_cee]

Imagine how much of a roasting Trent would get if he'd been making the sort of mistakes his more illustrious betters have been these last few days.

Fucking useless.

[Waffdon]

I've no idea how true it is, but I've heard some mumbling that the lengthy stoppages for VAR checks are to blame as their muscles are cooling down while they stand around waiting.

Would make sense. You have players playing 100+ minutes every single game without fail, sometimes even longer than that.

Can understand Newcastle looking knackered. They’ve barley made a change to the XI or even a sub for the past few weeks.

[Waffdon]

Imagine how much of a roasting Trent would get if he'd been making the sort of mistakes his more illustrious betters have been these last few days.

Fucking useless.

Have a day off

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Trent thing isn't even a question, Southgate's attitude to him is pathetic.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Can understand Newcastle looking knackered. They’ve barley made a change to the XI or even a sub for the past few weeks.

Managers all refusing to use many/any of their five substitutions is another thing to remember when they're in floods of tears about fixture congestion in a couple of weeks' time.

[niko_cee]

All that's missing here is a hamstring injury for Gordon or a booking for diving to really send the fans home happy.

On the sub thing, why have amazon got that sub counter up for some games and not others, or does it only appear in the second half or once a sub has been made? Seems pointless either way.

[Shindig]

In our defence, everyone else has dislocated shoulders.

[Gray Fox]

More dislocated shoulders would be much appreciated though.

[niko_cee]

How's your luck West Ham/Jarrod Bowen.

[Waffdon]

That Everton goal would have made prime Barcelona very proud. Must have had about 30 odd passes in it.

Trippier playing Beto onside for good measures

[Ben]

Is it just my eyes or is the Prime coverage a lot smoother than Sky?

4K streaming > satellite feed. Just a shame their production is amateur as fuck.

[Waffdon]

Spursy.

[Luke Emia]

Spursy.

Strange because when I switched it on after 10 minutes I had to switch it back off because I thought Tyldsley was going to suck Ange off.

It’s unbearable watching them at the minute. You’d think from the way they were the Pep’s Barcelona and 90’s United rolled into one.

[niko_cee]

It's probably really only been the dugout years where spurs haven't been horrifically overrated by the media, and even then there was the whole 'Arry/Gareth/Smallpockets period, so welcome to the past.

Just wait until Ange succeeds Sir Gareth and picks mongs like Winks on the regular.

[Spikey M]

I mean, they do have 11 players out injured, so they're either calling on the shite they couldn't sell in the summer or playing fullbacks out of position to avoid having Eric Dier on the pitch. It's going to remain a shambles until that isn't the case.

[Spikey M]

It's probably really only been the dugout years where spurs haven't been horrifically overrated by the media, and even then there was the whole 'Arry/Gareth/Smallpockets period, so welcome to the past.

Just wait until Ange succeeds Sir Gareth and picks mongs like Winks on the regular.

He sold Winks to Leicester so that seems fairly unlikely.

[niko_cee]

Who's the other one then, Skipp?

[Spikey M]

Who's the other one then, Skipp?

I think calling him "the other one" is probably harsh on Winks. Winks is atleast a capable if unspectacular box to box midfielder. I'm yet to discover what Skipp offers.

[niko_cee]

That's hit him on the shoulder, surely?

[niko_cee]

Nothing like watching unrelenting legions of professional footballers desperately bustling in front of one another with the sole intent of falling over and hopefully getting a foul.

[phonics]

Mate, Spurs lost? Mate? Maaate.

[niko_cee]

Someone chuck up a January transfer thread, I want to lol at this:


Manchester United are willing to listen to offers for 31-year-old Brazil midfielder Casemiro, 30-year-old French defender Raphael Varane, and England winger Jadon Sancho, 23, as manager Erik ten Hag attempts to trim down his squad.

Bet they've all got disgustingly long contracts.

[Boydy]

Is Casemiro shite now or has he fallen out with him or what?

[niko_cee]

No idea.

Sad thing is they're probably all prime Saudi league targets.

[Ian]

Hamstring issue I think. He hasn't been nearly as good this year (despite still being among our top scorers) though I assume he'd still be in the team given the alternatives.

[Don]

1732880321853407523

[randomlegend]

https://i.imgur.com/5wpXJUv.png

https://i.imgur.com/ZAN3AVQ.png

https://i.imgur.com/ivk1IDo.png

We are massive.

[thommo]

Your images are massive, you dolt.

[Dark Soldier]

Yanited Yanited

[Kikó]

Is Casemiro shite now or has he fallen out with him or what?

As Ian says, injury but he was struggling to be the only man in midfield in the 4-1-5 formation earlier in the season. Varane has apparently spat his dummy out over Evans (??) And Sancho is a mess.

[wullie]

Delighted to see Rooney in the Birmingham dugout tonight, long may he reign.

[Spikey M]

1732794407479287876?t=fUAibrEOdPQGpwWsHkmflw&s=19

:D

[Baz]

Just watching a long Souness interview that I somehow missed before. Long thought it, but he is a legend, one of the only good honest men in the sport.When the ‘hanging out the back of her’ Richard Keys scandal video came out, I felt like my respect for Souness grew a lot.

[Shindig]

On the flipside, he was the only person remaining unconvinced by the correct angle on that Japan goal.

[Lofty]

He did cry several times talking about that poor kid with that horrendous illness he raised money for, I think he's a good egg. Also him and Keane arguing at half time in Saudi Argentina was top drawer.

[Lofty]

https://i.ibb.co/JkzrX4t/IMG-20231209-WA0002.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

Souness is a good guy who spent 30+ years of his life in the most macho possible environment so obviously has a lot of that in him. I remember him saying he went to Bournemouth Pride or something to find out more about those issues and how very few footballers of that era would have had that level of curiosity.

[Don]

No Eze and Olise on the bench, Darwin is due a hattrick too :drool:

[Waffdon]

That Palace midfield and attack looks proper grim.

[Waffdon]

if it takes this many replays just carry the fuck on.

[John Arne]

Absolutely no idea why that took so long. Clear foul, like pretty obviously. 5 minutes, was it?

[Waffdon]

Yeah, I’m not complaining that it was a foul. No idea why the referee needed that much time and that many replays. He was clearly not really wanting to give it

[niko_cee]

Maybe the VARs instinctively realise how shit VAR is for the game.

[John Arne]

Maybe the VARs instinctively realise how shit VAR is for the game.

Yeah, this is it. They are absolutely desperate to get every decision right, so it's gonna take a while.

[Don]

Barely a fucking sniff of a half-chance. Fuck Israel, fuck 12:30s and fuck the wind.

[Baz]

Got 0-0 all over it.

Saw a stat the other day that there’s only been four 0-0s this season and palace were involved in two of them.

[Ben]

It's a penalty but that's a complete shambles. Again.

[Gray Fox]

Another 12:30 kick off, another shit game of football on show. Got to hope we can at least fluke a point in this.

[Gray Fox]

How on earth is that a red card.

[Waffdon]

Them two yellows were mental. Can’t tell which one is worse

[niko_cee]

Liverpool's suite of away kits this year is just dreadful.

[Gray Fox]

This is a robbery.

[Waffdon]

The league is so odd this year. Nobody looks great. Just grind after grind.

[Don]

Another title coming our way baby. Over to watch Bournemouth run riot :drool:

[randomlegend]

If that's not deserving of a booking for diving then they might as well give up the pretence it even exists are a rule.

[niko_cee]

Yellows only tend to be given out when a blatant foul has been missed.

[Dark Soldier]

Yanited Yanited

[Don]

Bayern gettin smashed. They ain't gonna be in no mood come Tuesday :huhu:

[Adramelch]

Bayern getting destroyed by a team that couldn't even top their Conference League group is quite something.

[randomlegend]

Feels like we could play for a month and not score here. It's insane how toothless we are at the moment.

[Gray Fox]

Worth a cheeky fiver on the United win from here.

EDIT: Scrap that, just set fire to it instead.

[-james-]

None Hag

[Waffdon]

Poch made this Man Utd team look like Man City. :lol: :lol:

[Don]

Still only 3 pts off City though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lol.

[Manc]

The manager of the month curse wasting no time.

[Waffdon]

Tough few games for Man Utd coming up as well. If Poch wasn’t a chancer they’d be looking at 4/5 losses in a row.

No fernandes against Liverpool either. Mount to the rescue

[Gray Fox]

They'll play better without Fernandes. He's as the kids call these days, dogwater.

[Waffdon]

He really isn’t.

[Waffdon]

Losing 0-4 at home is probably enough in itself to get the sack. Bloody hell :lol:

[Luke Emia]

Losing 0-4 at home is probably enough in itself to get the sack. Bloody hell :lol:

Only 3 that’s as good as scoring a goal.

[Don]

That was 100% an intentional suspension by captain fantastic. Man took one look at the Hairy Hungarian and didn't fancy it. Likelihood of a historic thrashing does lessen somewhat without his petulant work-shy gyppo arse but it's still very much on.

[Kikó]

Ready to bounce back in the upcoming easy fixtures.

I think Baldie's time is running short. You can't get pumped at home to Bournemouth.

[Shindig]

I know Forest aren't having a great season but would sacking Strangled David Platt really be a good idea? Seems like he just waved goodbye to the fans.

[Don]

If they get another high press cultured foreign don like Lopetegui and I have to see one less gammon with a crusty arsehole on my screens then I think so, yes.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Villa :drool:

That was lovely from Bailey and McGinn.

[phonics]

Appealing from Raya again. Straight through his hands.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Zinchenko is in for a very long game.

[Waffdon]

Going for havertz and Odegaard in a midfield 3 against this Villa midfield is certainly something

[phonics]

I wish I didn’t love John McGinn and his massive arse so much so I could be more annoyed about all this.

[Giggles]

This is falling into Liverpool's lap, bottling Arsenal cunts.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Emi Martinez angling for a move back to Arsenal perhaps.

[Waffdon]

Villa should probably start playing a bit deeper now. Starting to look like that mental game at Spurs

[Waffdon]

Saka and Rashford are both cut from the same cloth. Go down at least once again with an injury as if they’ve been smashed by a bus

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I can't take Jesus seriously, he always looks like he's seconds away from bursting into tears.

[Waffdon]

Same with Zinchenko.

No idea how the referee is doing a drop ball there when Arsenal kicked the ball out of play.

[Waffdon]

And now the ref has given Carlos a yellow card when he literally wasn’t even looking at it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Send Havertz off for going right to the ref like a little cunt.

[Waffdon]

Fair play to the referee for that decision there.

[Waffdon]

15 home wins in a row is some fucking effort

They might have already secured top 4. One of Newcastle or spurs will drop more points tomorrow (if not both). They’ll probably bring in some more folk in January and their recruitment has been spot on

[Lofty]

Villa smashed that, fair play.

[Waffdon]

I see Todd Boehly has signed some person up to a $700 million contract over 10 years for the Dodgers.

They’ll have to sell some academy graduates for some pure profit to balance the books

[Clunge]

Being a Villa fan right now is an absolute blast.

[Don]

Bruv no one gives a fuck about top 4, get on them to win the league next season, they're right up there with City and Arsenal since he came in and the core of the team is ripe for it.

I should get paid for this level of content.

[niko_cee]

I'm not sure why you do the short goal kicks if your centre backs just stand on it and get pressed to death before mis-kicking it 30 yards away on the hoof. Might as well cut out the middle man and hoof it to start with.

This threw up the interesting tactic yesterday whereby Bournemouth, directly from their [only :baz:] kick off, deliberately kicked the ball out for a United goal kick so they could get up and press the inevitably stupid short passing escape attempt; it's good to see some sort of counter-analysis starting to emerge. I've thought for a while that giving the other team the ball in their defensive third is becoming quite a good attacking tactic.

[Don]

You sure that was intentional? It looked like a shit pass when I watched it live. Utd were actually doing well to get out their press and attack in the opening minutes of the game too.

The fact is it takes a greater level of perception to identify the benefits of playing out from the back so people often fall into the trap of focusing on the pitfalls.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It doesn't take any perception at all, it's very simple maths, the next pass being a 90% chance of keeping the ball is 'better' for your team than the next pass being a 30% chance of keeping the ball. This is what tiki taka was 15 years ago, same with Cruyff's Barcelona in the early 90s, it's nothing new. The only new part is that those percentages mount up more quickly than they used to, because the high press is in itself risky and leaves big gaps to pass into.

The problem is that if you start dropping that percentage to 80% because your players are shit at diagnosing what the opposition are doing and worse at executing, then you start running into a lot of trouble because the mistake costs you a lot more than the equivalent difficulty pass at the far end of the pitch. This is what Methuselah and Axel Disaster kept doing on Wed night, hence my post.

[Gray Fox]

No goal robot for City today. I assume they only win by 3 goals now.

[Lewis]

I'm not sure whether playing out from the goalkeeper is the symptom or the cause of football being the most boring I've ever seen it. Roll on seven substitutes and people bringing an entirely new press on at fifty minutes like the South African rugby team.

[niko_cee]

The problem is that if you start dropping that percentage to 80% because your players are shit at diagnosing what the opposition are doing and worse at executing hence my post.

This also has the interesting knock-on effect of players bought from systems where this type of play is done well, like Brighton, often looking a bit wank for their new teams as players see, for example, Caicedo with 2 guys near him asking for the ball and don't give it to him because there are 2 opposition players nearby, whereas at Brighton the whole point was to pass the ball to players in that sort of situation to then spring the press, which is what made him look like a £100m player.

[Shindig]

I can't remember the last time a keeper just booted it out to the wing.

[Waffdon]

This also has the interesting knock-on effect of players bought from systems where this type of play is done well, like Brighton, often looking a bit wank for their new teams as players see, for example, Caicedo with 2 guys near him asking for the ball and don't give it to him because there are 2 opposition players nearby, whereas at Brighton the whole point was to pass the ball to players in that sort of situation to then spring the press, which is what made him look like a £100m player.

Things is with Caicedo, him and Fernandez were dominating possession up until the Spurs game. Pretty sure they had the highest in the league. Obviously goals were a bit of struggle but they’ve went too far the other way now and become a transitional team all of a sudden. Chelsea were playing out from the back with only Caicedo and sometimes only one centre back in the picture. Suicidal as fuck.


If I see Fernandez in a b2b roll again today I might be sick.

[Gray Fox]

Whatever happened to Lavia? Was he subjected to The Operation immediately upon arrival?

[Waffdon]

Him and Nkunku have been injured since they signed

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not sure whether playing out from the goalkeeper is the symptom or the cause of football being the most boring I've ever seen it. Roll on seven substitutes and people bringing an entirely new press on at fifty minutes like the South African rugby team.

In general sport is at its least interesting when coaches are in complete control and at its most interesting when players are making their own decisions out on the pitch. This is why Klopp and Guardiola always drown in their own tears at this time of year, because the necessity of playing more games doesn't necessarily make their teams worse (in fact it probably exacerbates their advantages over weaker sides) but it diminishes the total control that they enjoy when conditions are in their favour.

Five subs was an absolutely disastrous move, the sport needs to be limiting the options available to coaches, not widening them.

[niko_cee]

Pep is definitely getting more tetchy in his comments, hopefully it's not just related to results but from insider knowledge of them being fucked by this commission thing.

On the subject of winter seethe, I was wondering earlier, seeing as I don't think it is possible this season now, how many times have City actually been top at Christmas? Feels like more often than not they haven't been in the last 7 years or whatever.

[Waffdon]

No Silva or Sterling :wub:

Shame it’s Everton away. 1 win in about 10 years there

[Kikó]

I can't remember the last time a keeper just booted it out to the wing.

Onana is good for it

[Gray Fox]

On the subject of winter seethe, I was wondering earlier, seeing as I don't think it is possible this season now, how many times have City actually been top at Christmas? Feels like more often than not they haven't been in the last 7 years or whatever.

Half of their titles have been won from not being top at Christmas. I think of the past 5 times for a team to be top at Christmas and not win the league, 4 were Liverpool(United 09, City 14, 19 and 21) and last year we had Arsenal, also pipped by City.

[Baz]

Even if he is, he’s not a keeper. He’s a milkman in disguise.

[-james-]

Reece James. Mate. Ffs.

[Gray Fox]

Reece James continuing to steal a living.

[Waffdon]

Pochettino refusing to play Fernandez deep will never not make sense.

James subbed off already. I’m not sure he’s even injured. Looks absolutely fine and was running about before being taken off

[SincereTheRebel]

Ive just set my alarm for 8pm. Barca vs Girona. Girona are top of la liga. See what they are about.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Still only 3 pts off City though.

Correct right now.

[Waffdon]

Apparently it’s another hamstring issue for James. His own fault for refusing to have surgery on it. His sister - who is literally as much of a unit as him - had the same issues before getting surgery and hasn’t had any injuries since. Not saying it will work completely but this coming back for 3 weeks and injuring it again clearly isn’t working

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lad might as well retire at this point.

[Waffdon]

If Pochettino survives tomorrow (assuming nothing changes in this game) I’ll be very surprised. Level on points with 14th ffs :D

[niko_cee]

Chelsea making solid strides towards being the third best team in West London.

[Waffdon]

Pochettino just had to do better than Potter/Lampard. The expectations considering the amount of money spent was fuck all. He’s somehow done worse. Absolutely fucking dreadful.

He has to go.

[niko_cee]

Who's next, De Zerbi? It's gonna cost you . . .

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pochettino just had to do better than Potter/Lampard. The expectations considering the amount of money spent was fuck all. He’s somehow done worse. Absolutely fucking dreadful.

He has to go.

You're an idiot. As if any manager is going to get this dogshit squad any better than mid table. I'd have stuck with Potter but you all wanted him gone, now you want Pochettino gone, six months and you'll want the next guy gone, rinse and repeat cocaine-snorting reddit morons.

[Waffdon]

That may be true but that quoted post is just a fact of life. Yeah.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Meanwhile, Joey Barton seems to have gone utterly mental. Did someone turn him down for a punditry job or something?

[thommo]

Apparently it’s another hamstring issue for James. His own fault for refusing to have surgery on it. His sister - who is literally as much of a unit as him - had the same issues before getting surgery and hasn’t had any injuries since. Not saying it will work completely but this coming back for 3 weeks and injuring it again clearly isn’t working

His sister is a thick cunt too. Only a few months since doing something similar in the WC...

1733850154275373384

[Kikó]

Meanwhile, Joey Barton seems to have gone utterly mental. Did someone turn him down for a punditry job or something?

He's getting in on the right wing grifter money.

[Danny]

Meanwhile, Joey Barton seems to have gone utterly mental. Did someone turn him down for a punditry job or something?

Must have and only because he is a white British male. Not because he is a scumbag or anything.

[Don]

Trippier is getting roasted so hard these days, apparently because the poor guy has had to play a lot of football and needs a rest too :happycry:

And Reece James is having similar troubles with the demands too. If Trent hadn't decided to become the greatest deep-lying midfield playmaker in English history, that debate for RB would be looking pretty silly these days. As it is, it's Konsa's for the taking.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If we're talking defences looking awful with the ball at their feet, the Newcastle trio (not named Livramento) are definitely in that category.

[Ben]

Lascelles should have been back in the Championship a long time ago.

[Don]

This game is far from done woth Spurs playing so naively.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A nice repudiation of 'he had to do it' on a ridiculous cynical booking there, as the man who got it, Lascelles, is then embarrassed defensively from the resulting free kick and the goal is scored.

[Shindig]

The Everton seethe if they wind up 10 points off a Champions League spot. As for us, we're just slightly shit at the minute. Although that also applies to half the league.