July Football: Five games

[Lewis]

Get this 'keeper binned.

[Shindig]

Soft hands.

[Giggles]

Limp wrists.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck me he's turned proper shit.

[Giggles]

:D Fucking hell.

[Waffdon]

Even Kepa isn’t this bad. Jesus

[Giggles]

The last time I seen a non attempt like that the goalkeeper was paid off.

[randomlegend]

De Gea :face:

He made two absolute worldie saves in the last game as well.

[Boydy]

I could have saved both of those.

[phonics]

I could have saved both of those.

One time I had to drop down an age level as their goalie had dropped out last minute and I did pretty well in the training goals.

90 minutes later, I’m not sure I could.

[Don]

That goal has destroyed Chelsea's 20/21 season, possibly set England back a few games and probably got our boy an extended Nivea ad campaign :*)

[phonics]

Arsenal - Chelsea final is it?

https://i2-prod.football.london/incoming/article13109551.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200c/GettyImages-689268910.jpg

Get him back in. First one we'll have played without Aaron Ramsey I think. That man was absolutely unbeatable at Wembley.

[Gray Fox]

https://i.gyazo.com/1098ee6446a13ff48fa41c6e9b9295a6.png

The is some serious FM shit.

[Waffdon]

Any other twat going to head someone instead of the ball

[Don]

Love the attempts from that fucking ape on commentary trying to develop a narrative about systems. This is 22 men kicking a football with not a single plan between the lot of them and two dogshit flukey goals separating them.

[Giggles]

This is fucking horrendous now.

[niko_cee]

Love the attempts from that fucking ape on commentary trying to develop a narrative about systems. This is 22 men kicking a football with not a single plan between the lot of them and two dogshit flukey goals separating them.

Harsh on Super Frankie Binman.

He loves a tactical shake-up. I can't work out if he's some sort of tactical savant, or if Chelsea, as a side, either function or don't function regardless of how they are sent out and in spite of selection. Time will tell when he rolls out a 2-3-1-3-1 on Wednesday.

[Lewis]

Love the attempts from that fucking ape on commentary trying to develop a narrative about systems. This is 22 men kicking a football with not a single plan between the lot of them and two dogshit flukey goals separating them.

I was going to post exactly that.

This is on Ole Gunnar Binman. Fourth place or not, if they don't win the Europa now it is a pretty crap season.

[Waffdon]

Are Chelsea the best ‘big game team’ for the past 15 years? They always seem to win something and get to finals even with utterly shite sides

[Boydy]

I'd have saved that too.

[randomlegend]

Christ, I'm glad I've actually got to do some work.

[Lewis]

An elite manager like Jose Mourinho would blame the fixture pile-up for this, so I'd better not see matey shaking his head and smiling it off like a chump.

[Don]

Hudson-Odoi with his trademark kick and rush dribbling and pointless turns into blind alleys that look agile and slick to the untrained/Frankie's eye. GENERATIONAL.

[Luca]

An elite manager like Jose Mourinho would blame the fixture pile-up for this, so I'd better not see matey shaking his head and smiling it off like a chump.

He moaned about it (rightly) the other day, so I expect him to carry it through.

[phonics]

Yeah, no-one else is having to play lots of matches.

It's not like literally everyone involved has had to play the same amount of matches in this period.

[Waffdon]

Hudson-Odoi with his trademark kick and rush dribbling and pointless turns into blind alleys that look agile and slick to the untrained/Frankie's eye. GENERATIONAL.

Reece James though :drool:

[Don]

Right, I could stomach an Arteta win as bless 'em, I saw more Arsenal shirts today on my walk than I had in the last 5 years combined with them dusting them off from the bottom of their wardrobes.

Ashley Cole sounds like he's just dropped in from a Fire In The Booth session in Radio 1Xtra studios. How's he managed to retain that roadman tongue?

[Don]

Reece James though :drool:

You can fuck off with that too #teamtariq

But fucking Olivier man, the gash interviewing him must have had her waters break because mine have.

[Kikó]

Yeah, no-one else is having to play lots of matches.

It's not like literally everyone involved has had to play the same amount of matches in this period.

Chelsea had two extra days of rest which is pretty massive when you're talking about 48 hours v 96. It's not enough.

Doesn't excuse the display completely though, Chelsea were better for most of it and we've got a keeper who has the case of the Joe Harts and can't save anything down by his feet or expected to save. Fernandes was the only one to come out with any credit from United.

[Luca]

Apparently Eric Bailly was rushed to hospital in a helicopter. :|

[Kikó]

To be honest him and Maguire looked fucked. Maguire was definitely playing with concussion.

[Giggles]

It looked pretty bad, especially if he collapsed again after he went off like they said.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Super, super Frank
Super, super Frank
Super, super Frank
Super Frankie Binman

Is binman a TTH only thing? If it is I think we're miles ahead of mainstream analysis.

[Lofty]

I have seen it termed as 'garbageman' on a more american centric forum.

[Don]

Wp to geezer responsible for closing credits of MOTD2 just now :(

[niko_cee]

Of course this is the one time City aren't 5-0 up against Watford in no time at all.

[niko_cee]

More like it, I really hope Watford go down.

Sterling is so shit at penalties.

'mon The Villa later.

[Danny]

Thats a great save from Foster.

https://streamable.com/3ydhiy

[niko_cee]

Also probably not a penalty either, lol.

[Giggles]

Any word what Pearson was up to?

[Ian]

Was he up to anything?

I just assumed Watford had got bored of not having sacked anybody in the prior half an hour.

[niko_cee]

The assist record?

:happycry:

[niko_cee]

Also, thought I'd read that Bournemouth had been officially relegated, but that's not the case is it?

Watford's record against City must be among the worst ever for a head-to-head over several seasons. Feels like they lose every game heavily.

[SincereTheRebel]

'mon The Villa later.

They can fuck off.

[niko_cee]

History doesn't seem to be on their side tonight.

[phonics]

Brighton confirmed they were up yesterday with the draw or has niko got a new target in sight?

[phonics]

I don’t remember Villa Park having an airport over it. What is going on up there?

[phonics]

That stat of Villa scoring 1 more goal and conceding twice as many as Sheffield United...

[niko_cee]

No new target, other than wanting Watford down although that's hardly new. Just thought I'd read that Bournemouth were officially gone but that obviously wasn't the case, unless I'm missing something.

Should The Villa stay up, with Leeds returning too has the top division ever been closer to a perfect, for want of a better term, roster?

What is the ideal 20 team league? You probably want Forest back in there, maybe Sunderland. Do you need both Sheffields and Derby as well? I appreciate Brighton probably aren't much needed, but they give meaning to Palace's existence and there has to be some south coast representation. Fuck off Preston et al.

[phonics]

I don’t remember Villa Park having an airport over it. What is going on up there?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdeVf_EXoAAmbyw.jpg

lol

[phonics]

Norwich
Burnley
Bournemouth
Wolves
Leicester
Palace
Brighton

Swansea
Cardiff
Sheff Wednesday
Birmingham
Forest
Leeds
Plucky Team that will inevitably go down

If one of the two sheffield clubs get relegated, both are replaced by the two Glasgow clubs for a year.

[niko_cee]

Don't see the need for Birmingham, Villa can have their rivalry with Wolves, who you have to keep, a far more storied club than Birmingham City.

Absolutely no need for the Welsh either.

[Lewis]

I would go Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester, and then just make it up with whoever because none of them are particularly significant.

[niko_cee]

2 Manchesters, 2 Liverpools, North Londons, West Ham & Chelsea, Newcastle & Sunderland, Leeds, Forest, Villa, Wolves, at least one other midland club (Leicester/West Brom/Derby), not sure about both Sheffields but certainly one . . .

[phonics]

As someone who grew up in erdington. I grew up on Blues v Villa. It’s wolves v West Brom. The other mixes are like when Palace play Fulham or something.

The welsh are worth it because it keeps them busy.

[Giggles]

Man Utd, Man City, Chelsea, Liverpool, and Arsenal. Play each other team 8 times.

Super Sunday EVERY Sunday.

[niko_cee]

Yeah but Birmingham are shite and a perennial waste of time (moreso than, say, Everton or any of the north east mob) so sorry, no dice.

[phonics]

It seems mental that there’s not a club south of Kensington worth a shit.

[Josh]

More like it, I really hope Watford go down.

Sterling is so shit at penalties.

'mon The Villa later.

We will, unless Villa shit the bed here and then them and Bournemouth both lose on Sunday. No way we are picking up a point from Arsenal, we are absolutely rancid and deserve relegation.

I will always have that Liverpool win with Luca though :gay:

[Josh]

Any word what Pearson was up to?

There were some shenanigans at HT in the West Ham game with various reports ranging from harsh words to punching our left back.

Then after the game our chairman and Pearson got into a heated discussion and things were apparently said and then he's a goner.

We love to sack a manager though so it probably didn't take a lot. And our whole team deserved punching at half time in the West Ham game.

[phonics]

this match is so unai emery it hurts

[phonics]

Can't tell whether John McGinn is good or just James McFadden pt 2.

[mugbull]

This Keinan Davis lad has 2 goals in 55 league games for Villa. Had to check because he's done everything wrong since he came on

[Jimmy Floyd]

If Watford manage to go down then lol, though I see Granada are back baby back so they probably don't care.

[SincereTheRebel]

Arsenal really are fucking useless.

[Kikó]

Mellin 😎

[niko_cee]

This Keinan Davis lad has 2 goals in 55 league games for Villa. Had to check because he's done everything wrong since he came on

:D

He was genuinely dreadful.

That was probably the first game since the restart that has felt like a proper game for me.

[Yevrah]

If Watford manage to go down then lol, though I see Granada are back baby back so they probably don't care.

What's happened to future Arsenal manager, Eddie Howe?

[Jimmy Floyd]

What's happened to future Arsenal manager, Eddie Howe?

Looks like he is a very good coach of shit players, but absolutely useless at signing/integrating better ones.

[niko_cee]

Deeper problems at Bournemouth than their taste for terrible Liverpool players.

Howe remains a good coach but something's not right there.

[Yevrah]

Man City's goal difference vs. points total should also prompt several steward's enquiries.

[Yevrah]

Deeper problems at Bournemouth than their taste for terrible Liverpool players.

Howe remains a good coach but something's not right there.

Those read like words straight from a pundit's playbook.

[Andy]

Deeper problems at Bournemouth than their taste for terrible Liverpool players.

Howe remains a good coach but something's not right there.

Its the signings. They have spent a small fortune since promotion and have made about three good signings in that time.

Last summer they spent 50m on Danjuma, Kelly, Stacey and Billing. None of them are good enough. It's the same every summer.

[niko_cee]

Those read like words straight from a pundit's playbook.

From the Bournemouth fans' I know/horse's mouth. One seemed to think Howe's deal was up at the end of the season but I have no idea if that is the case as he now hopes he's given the chance to bring them back up. Bournemouth are basically a league 1 side in most respects. The bell was always going to toll for them eventually.

They've had shit signings but it's not all bad. Aké, Brooks, Wilson, Fraser, there have been enough good ones to offset some of the Jordan Ibes and the likes. Maybe still leaning on the likes of Cook (how the fuck is he only 29?) and Simon Francis, whilst laudable, is probably not advisable in terms of long term survival.

[niko_cee]

Man City's goal difference vs. points total should also prompt several steward's enquiries.

Not really, Guardiola's sides have always specialised in running up the score.

Their feckless defending just means they've also/somehow managed to lose 9 games whilst smashing Watford 12-0 on aggregate.

[Mellberg]

What a day. Please, please see it over the line.

[Josh]

If Watford manage to go down then lol, though I see Granada are back baby back so they probably don't care.

Grenada are doing so well because the Pozzos got rid of them. They aren't owned by them anymore and are flourishing.

The 'Pozzo' model has been found out over the last 2/3 years and this has been on the cards for a while.

The weakest league since we've been up and unbelievably probably our worst squad in that whole time too.

[Gray Fox]

Bournemouth have the massive problem of having played Dominic Solanke as a striker for 30 games. £20m for him too.

I thought Villa were gone after the Watford win a few games back but they've done well to claw it to here. I suspect it all depends on what kind of effort West Ham put into the final day. If both Watford and Villa lose, Bournemouth could stay up with a 1-0 win.

Bournemouth have Everton away, who are now assured a bottom half finish so have nothing to play for. Same can be mostly said for Villa going to West Ham. Watford going to Arsenal only matters to me if the Arsenal players want to stay fresh for the cup final.

[Mellberg]

We need a result as far as I'm concerned. Not done yet. Being 17th with one to play is a minor miracle though. We were 7 points adrift about 10 days ago.

[Kikó]

Not really, Guardiola's sides have always specialised in running up the score.

Their feckless defending just means they've also/somehow managed to lose 9 games whilst smashing Watford 12-0 on aggregate.

There was a stat I read the other day something like Guardiolas team when they went ahead had a +1 million goal difference and 12 wins from 12 but lost 8-9 from 12 when they've fallen behind. Seems if they're sussed then they've failed to get out of it.

[Andy]

From the Bournemouth fans' I know/horse's mouth. One seemed to think Howe's deal was up at the end of the season but I have no idea if that is the case as he now hopes he's given the chance to bring them back up. Bournemouth are basically a league 1 side in most respects. The bell was always going to toll for them eventually.

They've had shit signings but it's not all bad. Aké, Brooks, Wilson, Fraser, there have been enough good ones to offset some of the Jordan Ibes and the likes. Maybe still leaning on the likes of Cook (how the fuck is he only 29?) and Simon Francis, whilst laudable, is probably not advisable in terms of long term survival.

Fraser signed while they were still in the Championship. They used to pull off lots of good signings then.

The other three are the only good signings from 250m spent. It's just not good enough. This season they haven't been able to rely on the core of players who got the promoted and they've come unstuck.

[The Merse]

Fraser signed when they were in League One. Aberdeen and Celtic (why would any young Scot pick League One over us?!) fans were apoplectic and predicting he’d never amount to anything at the time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The main vibe I get from Eddie Howe is that he's a really nice man. This probably works well for moulding Simon Francis, Steve Cook, and the other ones (you know who I mean), into a better side than they should be, but when you start bringing people in for money who have egos, and they rock up in this seaside town with wind and a pier and only one branch of Nando's, is he the man to pull that lot together?

Similar thing when he goes up to Burnley and into a dressing room full of northerners who reckon they're hard and witty and that, is he the man to make it work.

[phonics]

They haven’t bought egos. They’ve bought shit players.

The last half decent player they bought was Nathan Ake nearly 4 seasons ago.

[phonics]

paging SvN i think either of us might get the FIFA 22 cover job.

https://i.imgur.com/eePkoht.png

[SincereTheRebel]

You are a certified sucker, if you think that is legit

[SincereTheRebel]

Oh Fuck. That is legit and confirmed by EA :face:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is it mocked up to look like someone's bollocks insta post? You trained designers are in a world of pain if the genius marketing illuminati have managed to bring shit design into fashion.

[phonics]

genius marketing illuminati have managed to bring shit design into fashion.

Opposite way round.

99% of fashions output wouldn't get past a designers desk.

[phonics]

Oh Fuck. That is legit and confirmed by EA :face:

Dont worry you can pay an extra 20 quid for this version.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdiitZ3XkAEcY2U.png

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You are a certified sucker, if you think that is legit


Oh Fuck. That is legit and confirmed by EA :face:

:D

[Baz]

I also biggrinned those posts. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Opposite way round.

99% of fashions output wouldn't get past a designers desk.

I meant into mode, not literally into fashion.

[SincereTheRebel]

It looks like something i would struggle to create with MS Paint in 2008

[Don]

They remind me of that shit Kanye album's cover. Echoes of MOTDx and what not with the focus around urban/Black Lives fashion. Stick a Nick Cave soundtrack to it to fuck with them.

[phonics]

I meant into mode, not literally into fashion.

You’re misunderstanding me. The design style comes from mode not the other way round.

[Waffdon]

Harry Maguire is a funny sight with the ball at his feet. Absolutely bobbins. What is that weird stance he does when moving with the ball all about. It’s like some ‘skill dribbler’ trait off fifa

[SincereTheRebel]

Harry Maguire is a funny sight with the ball at his feet. Absolutely bobbins. What is that weird stance he does when moving with the ball all about. It’s like some ‘skill dribbler’ trait off fifa

1284925558745452549

[Ian]

I mean it's easy to sneer at the £80m but it took Woowar three months of hard graft to haggle them down from £80m.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pogba :lol:

[Ian]

Fucking lol at that. What an absolute cretin.

[Lewis]

I would sell him for that.

[mugbull]

Tbf i wouldn’t want to get smacked In the face at 100 kph with that ball either

[Waffdon]

That’s one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Steven Taylor would have been proud with the feigning injury.

[Gray Fox]

I can actually hear Souness breaking into the Sky studio now.

[Ian]

It would be up there with the great shithouse dives if he'd got away with it.

What a thick twat.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Christ I love Greenwood.

[Danny]

Lovely finish. Drilled it.

[Waffdon]

He should just be played through the middle. Must have touched the ball about five times in the first half. So far ahead of anyone his age

[Danny]

Think Williams has the wrong boots on. Twice he has slipped.

[Waffdon]

Declan Rice is an absolute player. Strolls through every game and is brilliant on the ball.

[Lewis]

That was painful. Jesus.

[Waffdon]

Liverpool are unbeaten at home in about 60 odd league matches and still won’t beat the record for at least 1.5 more seasons if they were to remain unbeaten. What on earth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We now only need a point so if they wouldn't mind just standing on the ball for 90 and preserving their unbeaten record, that would be grand.

[Shindig]

Chelsea once went 4 years unbeaten at home under Mourinho.

[Waffdon]

Wigan 1-0 up and Charlton 2-0 down. It feels inevitable they’ll go down with a last minute goal after everything that’s happened

[Waffdon]

Both West Brom and Brentford losing at the minute. Fulham would go up if it stays as it is and they turn it around. What a league

[thommo]

I'm almost pleased that West Brom have equalised because at least it is out of our hands now. No way we turn this around against Wigan. I'm resigned to the playoffs and have been since we cocked it up against Brentford and Leeds coming out of the lockdown break.

[Waffdon]

Willian :D

[Spoonsky]

That's a beauty. :cool:

[Kikó]

Pretty shite today but quite a few are absolutely fucked from the previous weeks endeavours. Rashford and Fernandes in particular really out of it. Pogba looks shite and his mistake is completely laughable - supposed top player ROFL. Williams looks nervous again and lost that early season verve. Centre backs are laughable in their dreadfulness on the ball.

Greenwood is good though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Every time we concede a goal now Chelsea twitter goes OMG KEPA even when it's rifled in off the bar from 30 yards.

[phonics]

Football on the radio is just so good. Every free kick from 50 yards out feels like it could go in.

[Waffdon]

And that’s the game over from an awful free kick decision

51 goals conceded and somehow being in the top four is an absolutely incredible effort

[CJay]

Pretty shite today but quite a few are absolutely fucked from the previous weeks endeavours. Rashford and Fernandes in particular really out of it. Pogba looks shite and his mistake is completely laughable - supposed top player ROFL. Williams looks nervous again and lost that early season verve. Centre backs are laughable in their dreadfulness on the ball.

Greenwood is good though.

Is Pogba carrying a lot of extra weight at the minute? He looks a lot heftier, in a bad way.

[phonics]

Got to say Talksport telling me to 'make sure I tune into the Liverpool trophy presentation at X o clock' is not quite as good.

Who's listening to a trophy presentation in an empty stadium :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Next up, awful decision to give a free kick, bloke curls one in unstoppably. Carragher: 'There's no hiding the defensive deficiencies of this team'.

Punditry is like lazy narrative bingo.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We need either a point vs Wolves or for United to beat Leicester.

[CJay]

Gini's big Dutch yell is great. YAS!

[Waffdon]

Next up, awful decision to give a free kick, bloke curls one in unstoppably. Carragher: 'There's no hiding the defensive deficiencies of this team'.

Punditry is like lazy narrative bingo.

The defence is an absolute mess to be fair. Lampard hasn’t a clue defensively at all - Sarri had the same team and at least had them defensively sound

[CJay]

Next up, awful decision to give a free kick, bloke curls one in unstoppably. Carragher: 'There's no hiding the defensive deficiencies of this team'.

Punditry is like lazy narrative bingo.

It is turning into a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point. Three shots on target tonight, three goals. :uhoh: None of them his fault.

[Danny]

Wolves time to shine on Sunday

[Waffdon]

We need either a point vs Wolves or for United to beat Leicester.

Nuno master class on Sunday with the other game being played to a draw.

[Kikó]

Is Pogba carrying a lot of extra weight at the minute? He looks a lot heftier, in a bad way.

Certainly looks it. Not as mobile as he was but makes just as many mistakes.

At least he can solve the goalkeeper issue.

[phonics]

Another Arsenal player just scored an equaliser for Brentford. Fucks sake.

Brentford have 15 minutes to score another and they’re up.

[niko_cee]

Not sure that freekick was 'unstoppable', even a token dive would probably have assuaged some criticism (silly as that is).

Good job Chelsea are buying all the forwards.

I dunno, maybe they need them too.

Still all to play for. I was listening to Gianfranco going on about that FA Cup game from donkeys years ago the other day so, you know, just channel some of that.

I'm hoping Liverpool attempt to outdo that effort Real came out with a couple of years ago with the trophy presentation, although it being slated for 10.30 probably pours cold water on that. Would have to be more like midnight.

[mo]

Barnsley deserve that.

[niko_cee]

'Playing out from the back' has definitely got across the board worse since the restart.

[Bob Sacamano]

Forest :D

[Waffdon]

Swansea somehow scrapping into the play off places. Forrest losing 3-1 and Swansea winning 4-1 has put them up on goals scored.

[Lewis]

Pretty shite today but quite a few are absolutely fucked from the previous weeks endeavours. Rashford and Fernandes in particular really out of it. Pogba looks shite and his mistake is completely laughable - supposed top player ROFL. Williams looks nervous again and lost that early season verve. Centre backs are laughable in their dreadfulness on the ball.

Greenwood is good though.

I don't think the centre-backs are that bad on the ball. I think their problem is that Paulp Ogba is their only real outlet, and half the time he gets double-marked. The 'keeper is terrible so you can't pass it back to him; the full-backs are either useless on the ball or take cowardly/low confidence options; and Nemanja Matic just takes half a dozen touches before recycling it back/finding the full-back. When they actually try getting it moving themselves they can be reasonably incisive.

[Don]

The real shame of this is we're missing out on all four sides at West Brom cheering the home side. QPR helping Bees go up would be superb banter. Great drama at both ends of champ.

I can't figure out what's happened to Chelsea. I was under the impression Frank 'Peak Sacchi' Frankie had developed a system all aboit snuffing out attacks and playing great pressing football. Will wait for Martin Keown to enlighten me.

[niko_cee]

Epic bottle job from Brentford in the last few games after that run they'd been on. Hopefully Brewster and the Swans fuck them up in the play-offs.

lol at Forest

[phonics]

Always liked Barnsley.

[Bob Sacamano]

This Barnsley manager is an absolute don

[Waffdon]

Hopefully Wigan win their appeal but highly unlikely. What a shitshow.

[Waffdon]

Pulisic does that two mins after coming on. Mental that he was benched again.

[Spoonsky]

shiiii

Can't even be mad.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Unfortunately I'm going to have to support Brentford in the playoffs because Fulham means a guaranteed 1-0 loss (Bouba Diop 78') next year and the Welsh teams are just scum.

[Don]

Joe Gomez is such a fucking flat-footed obese useless cunt.

[Shindig]

Warnock :cool:

[thommo]

Incredible end to the season in the Championship. Everyone wanking themselves silly over Brentford only for them completely bottle it and lose to Stoke and Barnsley is absolutely glorious.

Cardiff in the playoffs then, I think we should make it past them over 2 legs, we comfortably beat them 2-0 a fortnight ago.

[Waffdon]

Pulisic is so fucking good

[Giggles]

Who went up?

[Spoonsky]

He's incredible

[Max Power]

Incredible end to the season in the Championship. Everyone wanking themselves silly over Brentford only for them completely bottle it and lose to Stoke and Barnsley is absolutely glorious.

Cardiff in the playoffs then, I think we should make it past them over 2 legs, we comfortably beat them 2-0 a fortnight ago.

Can’t let forest off the hook. Amazing to bottle the playoffs like that. 6 goal swing on the final day!

[Don]

My Liverpool died on that fateful night against Atletico.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He is spellbinding to watch in the way Hazard was.

[thommo]

Who went up?

West Brom, despite drawing 2-2.

[Giggles]

Ah, West Brom.

:sleep::sleep:

[thommo]

Can’t let forest off the hook. Amazing to bottle the playoffs like that. 6 goal swing on the final day!

Unbelievable last 20 minutes in both games - I can understand Swansea thumping a few past 10-man Reading but for Forest to implode like that is incredible. Swansea come into the playoffs in good form too - they could upset Brentford if they don't shake off those 2 losses.

[Kikó]

Ah, West Brom.

:sleep::sleep:

Under Billic though. A little bit more interesting.

[Spoonsky]

My Liverpool died on that fateful night against Atletico.

Nah, this is a vintage performance. The real anomaly has been the last year of clean sheets and comfortable wins.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I had one piece of advice for Joe Gomez it would be to connect his beard to his hair.

[Spoonsky]

Oh :cool:

[Waffdon]

The absolute ease they concede goals is fascinating.

I couldn’t think of a worse player than Jorginho defending a counter attack

[Don]

Can these commentators stop making Lallana out to be some fucking 50 year old mascot? He'd walk into every XI outside of City, he's being protected you clueless cunts.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Where is he going, back to Southampton?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

lol at all the defenders stopping there and just shouting "KEPA".

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Where is he going, back to Southampton?

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2020/jul/07/adam-lallana-will-not-play-again-for-liverpool-to-protect-transfer-says-klopp

Leicester likely.

Lol at those quotes btw.

[Spoonsky]

lol at all the defenders stopping there and just shouting "KEPA".

Yup, that's the kind of gold revealed by the lack of crowd noise.

That was the most enjoyable Liverpool game for a while, though I'm biased because I'll never not be happy about Pulisic scoring.

[niko_cee]

There were a few months, I think during the early Klopp years, where Lallana was insanely good, culminating in him taking a penalty for England (wtf?) and being linked with £85m moves to the likes of PSG.

Then he got injured, again, and that was that. I hope he goes somewhere and is good.

[Waffdon]

Liverpool’s XG was 1.32 to Chelsea’s 2.57. James will be having a fit

[Jimmy Floyd]

The xG from that Trent free kick alone was 1 so I'm not buying that.

[niko_cee]

All the talk of De Bruyne being a shoe-in for the player of the year (has his season really been that exceptional in, say, the way Slaah's was a few years ago?) makes me wonder why Alexander-Arnold doesn't seem to be in the debate. A phenomenal player and a(nother) phenomenal season.

I didn't see the third Chelsea goal, was it some sort of tap-in? That's the only way they could be hitting those sort of xG numbers (seeing as the other two goals were from about 2 yard out with no 'keeper).

[Don]

Cause he's a black life.

[Ian]

He is, nominally at least, a defender.

As if we're just gonna start pretending defenders are real footballers, Niko. Fucking behave yourself.

[niko_cee]

Aye, and a fullback to boot. No chance.

Poor Minamino looks a right billy no mates in all this.

[niko_cee]

The xG from that Trent free kick alone was 1 so I'm not buying that.

The place I go to for my xG needs tells me it was actually 0.04. I think he might have scored 4 freekicks this season, and I'm fairly sure he hasn't taken 100. It's absolute wank. Van Dijk had Liverpool's best xchance and missed it, if Willian scores the first goal the xG is probably about 0.1 but because the 'keeper saves it and Giroud has a tap in the xG from that suddenly leaps up to 0.7 or something, taking chances is actively punished by the metric.

[Don]

Christ, xvideos has treated me well but it might be time to switch to Greenwood goal compilations.

Bruno throwing a headbutt, good to see the cunt starting to feel at home.

[mugbull]

The place I go to for my xG needs tells me it was actually 0.04. I think he might have scored 4 freekicks this season, and I'm fairly sure he hasn't taken 100. It's absolute wank. Van Dijk had Liverpool's best xchance and missed it, if Willian scores the first goal the xG is probably about 0.1 but because the 'keeper saves it and Giroud has a tap in the xG from that suddenly leaps up to 0.7 or something, taking chances is actively punished by the metric.

That last one would be two xGs summed together, the first shot and the rebounded shot

And yeah, probably 1 in 25 of those Trent goals gets scored. Trent scores more than 1 in 25 of that type of shot though, so he outperforms his xG, which is the whole point of the metric

The more I've read into xG the more I like it for what it is. it's properly trained too

[phonics]

Who's the average footballer according to xG? Championship?

[Spoonsky]

The more I've read into xG the more I like it for what it is. it's properly trained too

Talk me through it because somehow I've managed to make it this far with zero comprehension (and pretty happily too).

[Lewis]

As far as I understand it a footballer who earns the same as a nurse has an xG of 0.0 for every shot at goal they take. If they earn twice what a nurse earns it goes to 0.1, and then it multiplies until anyone on over a hundred grand a week should be scoring every shot they attempt.

[niko_cee]

That last one would be two xGs summed together, the first shot and the rebounded shot



My complaint is that the metric grossly overvalues 'open goals', and basically assumes all other chances are unlikely to score situations, whereas in reality most goals are not the products of open goal situations, so something seems broken, to me and also that if a player takes a 1 in 10 chance his team suffers on the xG dickheadery, whereas if he scuffs the same chance into the 'keeper but manages to get the rebound in (as an open goal) all of a sudden his team has created a 0.8 goal situation. It feels unbalanced and actually not at all reflective of reality.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think it's pretty good at measuring what it measures, but I also think that in the context of real football matches/competitions all that it actually tells you is who took their chances best, which you can pretty much glean from watching a game/reading the scoreline in the paper the next morning.

For it to be indicative of much you'd have to be playing a baseball style season to make the sample size massive.

[Don]

My heart aches when I have to listen to you cunts discuss statistics. Best to just have a ban in place for xG talk on here. One thing Jimmy is right about is it is largely meant for those who didn't actually watch the game, understand the game or were simply too busy tracking planes to do their own cognitive work.

[-james-]

The place I go to for my xG needs tells me it was actually 0.04. I think he might have scored 4 freekicks this season, and I'm fairly sure he hasn't taken 100. It's absolute wank. Van Dijk had Liverpool's best xchance and missed it, if Willian scores the first goal the xG is probably about 0.1 but because the 'keeper saves it and Giroud has a tap in the xG from that suddenly leaps up to 0.7 or something, taking chances is actively punished by the metric.


Sample sizes m8, what are they. Stuff like the latter point does rankle with me but the better models will mark Giroud's shot down for being created from a rebound. The whole thing, to me, is about repeatability of process. Giroud positioning himself two yards from goal when the ball drops to him is obviously Good Football.

Single shot xG is obviously useless, single match xG very slightly less so. You've got huge error bars on every data point when looking at individual shots and single game tallies are context ignorant. You really need a season's worth of data for it to be useful, or enough games that the data supports the point you're trying to make natch.

xG is amazing if you make a living betting on football, but I can see why you lot think it's a load of joyless bollocks tbf.

[AyDee]

What Dino said. Although many of the complaints above about xg are fair, they're only really valid for that particular xg model and a better xg model will address those concerns.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My whole problem with it is that isn't 38 (or 46) games - the longest meaningful span of matches that you ever have in football - still too small to get anything that meaningful? And do teams not change so much within that span as to make it hard to quantify anyway? September Leicester vs June Leicester is an evolution in itself.

[AyDee]

My whole problem with it is that isn't 38 (or 46) games - the longest meaningful span of matches that you ever have in football - still too small to get anything that meaningful? And do teams not change so much within that span as to make it hard to quantify anyway? September Leicester vs June Leicester is an evolution in itself.

You can build in various adjustments that account for such issues. And on the sample size point, it will never be 100% accurate but you're comfortably looking at over 15,000 data entries for a 38 game season so it isn't an insubstantial amount of data. Anyway, for my model I actually limit the number of games that affect a team's rating due to outdated data not really being representative of current performance (your Leicester example being a good one).

[niko_cee]

I'd missed Super Frankie Binman's little seethe last night.

:D

Chelsea firmly back in the tactical enigma subset after that shitshow, no savant status yet.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Frank has won everything in the game (except the World Cup, Euros, World Club Cup and the European Super Cup), I would listen to what he has to say.

[niko_cee]

As some Leeds' fans have pointed out I'm not really sure he's one to be lecturing on winning with good grace.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They spied on him, niko. It besmirches a man's honour, particularly a man of his standing. You can't take that lying down.

[Kikó]

I'm in a boring mood but Frankie is about to match David Moyes record breaking season albeit finish in the CL places.

4 Chelsea 37 19 6 12 67 54 +13 63
7 Manchester United 38 19 7 12 64 43 +21 64

[Baz]

Poor Minamino looks a right billy no mates in all this.He’s such a weedy loser, doesn’t fit in at all. Never looks like he’ll win a tackle and always looks likely to lose possession when he has it. If he’s been brought in as Firmino’s understudy then someone got his profile way off.

And that’s coming from me. :baz:

[Don]

Asians largely lack the big dick energy required to flourish in this league. If he'd gone to Bundesliga, he'd be recognised as some talent by now and could maybe have done a Son after a couple seasons of development.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I spend a lot of most days wondering who has the smallest dick in the Premier League. At the moment my best guess is Will Hughes, but I'm open to alternative arguments.

[Spikey M]

It'll be one of the midgets like Alexis Sanchez.

[Waffdon]

Someone with muscles. Probably Ross Barkley

[Baz]

Deffo not Ross Barkley, with his Nigerian roots.

[Lewis]

Kevin De Bruyne. He's translucent, pudgy, and his technique can only be the result of there being no friction/interference between his active and standing legs, as well as nothing throwing his balance/centring off. I would go as far as to speculate that he has some sort of deformity or micropenis.

[Spikey M]

He's not in the Premier League, but everything about Cristiano Ronaldo screams over-compensation. Especially the way he stands before a free kick. Didn't he have a kid by turkey baster as well?

[Spikey M]

Messi is a manlet too, actually. And he was pumped full of steroids as a kid. He might actually have an inny.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Messi's low politicking ways certainly suggest it. If it were otherwise, he'd have stormed out and gone to PSG a while ago.

[mugbull]

Roy Keane obviously has a micropenis

[niko_cee]

I love that Leeds' plan to disperse the crowds outside Elland Road was to have an open top bus parade.

[Disco]

Frank has won everything in the game (except the World Cup, Euros, World Club Cup and the European Super Cup), I would listen to what he has to say.

Let me guess it went:

Serious point, light-hearted aside, but actually serious point again.

[Lofty]

It's hard to judge though, I know the common parlance about big dick energy but then I once worked with a guy hung like a horse who was the wettest blanket ever, always dressed in beige and was one of those geezers who constantly buys stuff from TK Maxx and then returns it. His Mrs cheated on him too.

[-james-]

Lucas Moura heads up the non-caucasian market.

[Lewis]

It's hard to judge though, I know the common parlance about big dick energy but then I once worked with a guy hung like a horse who was the wettest blanket ever, always dressed in beige and was one of those geezers who constantly buys stuff from TK Maxx and then returns it. His Mrs cheated on him too.

My friend knows someone with a twelve inch cock and by all accounts it just hurts people. The only use he has for it is meeting weirdos off the internet who want to wank him off.

[Spikey M]

Is that how your 'friend' met him?

[Lewis]

They're in the Navy together, which is why I trust his eyewitness account of it.

[Kikó]

How much does it hurt 'your friend'?

[Lofty]

The only recourse if you are in that position is to spend the rest of your days getting paid to force it up women's arses on camera.

[Don]

I can confirm it's a difficult burden.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I want us to retire 40 but they'll never listen.

40
Jamal Blackman Goalkeepers (18/19), Henrique Hilário Goalkeepers (06/07 - 13/14), Lucas Piazón (12/13), Lenny Pidgeley Goalkeepers (02/03 - 05/06),

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-53521596

Every time, without fail, this happens as soon as Liverpool win a trophy.

[Giggles]

The need to booby trap their gaffs every time there's a presentation.

[Kikó]

Lovable rogues.

1286382289484754945?s=19

[Shindig]

Oof. That's legitimately ugly.

[Lofty]

The video managing to keep that billboard quote in shot for almost all of it is magic.

[niko_cee]

Is there something in the audio or is it just some plebs fighting in the street?

[Don]

The latter. And a shit one too. This is Liverpool fam, most dangerous motherfuckers in the country, I want gunshots ffs.

[Lewis]

'Hendo' winning the FWA Footballer of the Year is a bit NARRATIVE when they are normally less susceptible to the sort of wankvoting that won Ryan Giggs the PFA award that time. The Premier League Player of the Season is the one that gets it right, which says a lot when they ask exactly who the fuck knows.

[niko_cee]

They gave it to Sterling last year, they're all about the narrative.

[Max Power]

Scott Parker in 2011 as well. All though fuck knows what the narrative actually was there beyond him being a decent pro in a side that escaped relegation despite being managed by Avram Grant.

[Vercetti]

We didn't even manage that much.

[Max Power]

Oh god they came bottom wtf? :D

[Lewis]

The only award with any integrity left is Jose Mourinho's Manager's Player of the Year.

[Ian]

It's clearly the Brendan Rodgers Envelope Award.

[Spikey M]

The John Terry Captain, Leader, Legend of the year award.

[Ian]

That's a bit different because the winner is always John Terry.

[Giggles]

That's a bit different because the winner is always John Terry.

That’s just life.

[Shindig]

"Thanks, John. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank John."

[Baz]

Mbappe’s ankle looked a bit bad.

[niko_cee]

SFB disappearing into the Proper Football Man abyss with all this talk of 'the touchline code'.

Good that he's trying to bring dislikeable Chelsea back though, I was beginning to soften on them.

[Shindig]

I like how everyone trampled over Mbappe in their haste to defend him.

[Boydy]

1286634046743883777

These are great.

[Shindig]

Ends on a banger. :D

[randomlegend]

Lampard is the best :D

[Baz]

If Chelsea and wolves both win European comps and united finish 4th, United won’t qualify for the champions league

Is that correct?

[SvN]

Yep, you can't have 6 teams in the Champions League. But there's as absolutely zero chance of that happening.

[niko_cee]

Chelsea would also have to finish outside the top 4 in that scenario (Leicester 3rd).

But yeah, just the casual 0-3 deficit to overturn in Munich. Not happening. Wolves (or United if they finish 5th) winning the UEFA Cup is the best case scenario for English football, probably United as they'll be better positioned to take advantage of the seeding boost.

[niko_cee]

Incidentally I find all of today's games being at 4 to be quite annoying. Should be 2 or 3.

[Shindig]

Yeah, I think the traditional Sunday finish is normally 3pm. But ... y'know, unprecedented times and all that.

[-james-]

Fairly sure that City today are the shortest price a premier league team has ever gone off at. How did the reverse game go again?

[Vercetti]

Didn't Norwich turn them over?

Back when people thought Pukki was a player?

[niko_cee]

I think that might have been rhetorical, but yeah, City were a shambles. A portent of things to come.