July Football: Five games

[Ian]

After Mahow was getting moaned at because he was posting about a different sort of boring shite football to what they want to watch and post about I said this:

Next month I'll pick five fixtures at random from across world football and those will be the only ones anybody is allowed to talk about, to save all this confusion.

Using the scientific method of getting all the July fixtures from https://www.live-footballontv.com/ and putting them into Excel then using a RNG to choose from how many there were I have the five fixtures you're allowed to talk about this month without anybody moaning like a tedious wank at you.

Wednesday 1st July 2020
Real Oviedo v Mirandes - 18:30 - LaLiga SmartBank YouTube
Rosenborg v Valerenga - 19:30 - Eurosport 2

Sunday 5th July 2020
Napoli v Roma - 20:45 - Premier Sports 2 / LiveScore App

Sunday 12th July 2020
AFC Bournemouth v Leicester City - 19:00 - Sky Sports

Wednesday 22nd July 2020
Krylya Sovetov v PFC Sochi - 17:00 - Russian Premier Liga YouTube

I will allow that the RNG has left the back end of the month a bit sparse but this is what you get when you can't be civil to each other.

[Giggles]

Don’t know where else to put this, but the state of that.


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[Ian]

Can't decide if 'balls' is a typo or if FFT don't rate it either.

[mo]

Went for Bournemouth v Leicester because GREATEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD, but am also enjoying Bournemouth's impending relegation.

[Spikey M]

Can't decide if 'balls' is a typo or if FFT don't rate it either.

I'm not having the FFT being used as the short hand for FourFourTwo. It's 442. Sort yourself out.

[mo]

Wigan have gone into admin. 12pt penalty applied this season if they finish outside the relegation zone (most likely relegating them - deduction now would put them bottom) or if they finish in the relegation zone, it’ll be applied next season.

[Spikey M]

First of many I suspect. Southend will be one of them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't see how any club below about the middle of League One can survive if crowds don't come back very soon. In fact, anyone outside the top flight must be in trouble (I don't know how the FL TV money gets divvied but I presume the Championship clubs get most of it).

[Waffdon]

Wigan have gone into admin. 12pt penalty applied this season if they finish outside the relegation zone (most likely relegating them - deduction now would put them bottom) or if they finish in the relegation zone, it’ll be applied next season.

They’ve been the best team in the league since January so it may not relegate them. 8 ahead at the minute.

[Ian]

I'm not having the FFT being used as the short hand for FourFourTwo. It's 442. Sort yourself out.

Whatever, nerd.

[Spikey M]

I don't see how any club below about the middle of League One can survive if crowds don't come back very soon. In fact, anyone outside the top flight must be in trouble (I don't know how the FL TV money gets divvied but I presume the Championship clubs get most of it).

It probably does, but most of the Championship clubs are massively overpaying wages out of desperation for promotion. Without intervention this is going to fuck alot of clubs in multiple leagues.

This (https://www.google.com/amp/s/inews.co.uk/sport/football/championship-wages-efl-deloitte-report-salary-cap-443094/amp) isn't the article I read, but it's the general thrust of it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I imagine crowds will just have to come back, for the same reasons that everyone else will just have to start getting on with other things. If not then within a year there simply won't be football played below the Premier League, or at all in Scotland.

[Don]

If they can open up Primark, I think they might be able to spare enough of their pocket change to open up stadiums. Third of the capacity with stunted entry/exits and an extra few portaloos is hardly going to require Isambard Kingdom Brunel to be reincarnated.

[Baz]

I like that ball.

[Kikó]

Chelsea United FA Cup semi at the friendly 6pm on Sunday 19th July.

[niko_cee]

Shouldn't be too hard travelling back across London on a Sunday night.

[mo]

I don't see how any club below about the middle of League One can survive if crowds don't come back very soon. In fact, anyone outside the top flight must be in trouble (I don't know how the FL TV money gets divvied but I presume the Championship clubs get most of it).

L1 and 2 have been helped by not having to play BCD, but yeah it's going to be a rough old time.


They’ve been the best team in the league since January so it may not relegate them. 8 ahead at the minute.

I read that after, it's a hopeful indicator for them but you can never really anticipate the impact of this kind of news.

[mo]

If they can open up Primark, I think they might be able to spare enough of their pocket change to open up stadiums. Third of the capacity with stunted entry/exits and an extra few portaloos is hardly going to require Isambard Kingdom Brunel to be reincarnated.

https://www.sdeurope.eu/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/image823okko7.png

'If Denmark can do it'

[Waffdon]

L1 and 2 have been helped by not having to play BCD, but yeah it's going to be a rough old time.



I read that after, it's a hopeful indicator for them but you can never really anticipate the impact of this kind of news.

Looks like they play two of the teams in the relegation scrap as well as Charlton who aren’t far off. Fulham last game of season who might not have anything to play for too.

[Giggles]

https://www.sdeurope.eu/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/image823okko7.png

'If Denmark can do it'

They look better empty.

[Spikey M]

COVID's only weakness is that it can't move diagonally.

[Lewis]

If the kung flu puts football on a more sustainable footing (kills a load of no-mark clubs) then I'm right on that hot take cunt politicising it for *everything I like* bandwagon. Universal basic income? Go on then, but we want hanging brought back as well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What are you going? 16 team superleague with the sport otherwise banned and anyone non-ELITE attempting to play it hanged at dawn?

[Lewis]

I think we should copy the German system, but with twenty teams per division if we go down the British [Isles] route.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Do we have to sew club badges onto our denim short-sleeves and drink mulled wine at half time? If so, I'm out.

Scotland will never ever ever ever ever agree to join England, even if Celtic and Rangers secretly want to. Even having that one-off GB team at the Olympics was like getting blood from a stone.

[Lewis]

The way to do it would be to offer Rangers and Celtic Premiership status, ideally with a three year relegation amnesty (the Union of the Crowns), and then, when ninety per cent of the money and interest vanishes within their first Glasgow-free season (the Darien Scheme), you could offer them 'generous' terms to fold their teams into a new combined system (the Acts of Union).

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can't imagine Celtic taking the bait to join Her Majesty's British Championship brought to you by the Duchy of Cornwall, all so their toothless fans can journey up and down the M6 constantly forever.

[Giggles]

Celtic, Rangers, maybe three others. Then make one Belfast team to cover the whole of NI, the two big teams to cover Wales. And whoever survives in England. Job done.

[Spikey M]

What are you going? 16 team superleague with the sport otherwise banned and anyone non-ELITE attempting to play it hanged at dawn?

They've been wanting to convert the Champions League into an actual league for ages.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The English teams don't want to as the PL pays big, it's only losers like Milan and so on who are gagging for that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Then make one Belfast team to cover the whole of NI

What could possibly go wrong.

[Waffdon]

Leicester will be lucky to finish above Spurs at this rate

[phonics]

Two goals in 2 games from closing down the goalkeeper there.

[Lofty]

Two goals in 2 games from closing down the goalkeeper there.

We seem to have inherited Liverpool's special skill of causing the opposition keeper's brainfarts. Assume we are engaging a lot higher and more urgently under Arteta.

[SincereTheRebel]

On topic please

https://i.ibb.co/QvDQqSJ/Screenshot-20200701-184142-com-google-android-youtube.jpg (https://ibb.co/b5bmyw6)

[niko_cee]

Leicester in absolute freefall, and their run-in looks tough. Their form must be absolutely horrific since they played City just before Christmas.

[SincereTheRebel]

4 wins from 12 games

[Giggles]

Leicester in absolute freefall, and their run-in looks tough. Their form must be absolutely horrific since they played City just before Christmas.

Is that since they were on about Rodgers moving on?

[Don]

Nelson needs to sort his Jewish locks out.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Jordan Pickford is shocking.

[Lofty]

Is that since they were on about Rodgers moving on?

Then gave him a bumper golden contract :D

[Lewis]

Celtic, Rangers, maybe three others. Then make one Belfast team to cover the whole of NI, the two big teams to cover Wales. And whoever survives in England. Job done.

Rangers and Celtic into the Premiership, whoever the next four best teams in Scotland are into the Championship with Linfield and a left-footed adversary (possibly an Irish team backed with NORAID money), the next four... You have three fully professional leagues of twenty teams, and then whatever shite remains in the separate countries can be semi-professional regional leagues with some sort of convoluted system to take them into the national structure.

[Lofty]

I like Tierney is old school kit wise and has it tucked in like his Sunday best. Fashion rebel.

[Giggles]

Rangers and Celtic into the Premiership, whoever the next four best teams in Scotland are into the Championship with Linfield and a left-footed adversary (possibly an Irish team backed with NORAID money), the next four... You have three fully professional leagues of twenty teams, and then whatever shite remains in the separate countries can be semi-professional regional leagues with some sort of convoluted system to take them into the national structure.

We’ll go with the fourth tier of an EU league instead. You could take Derry City back and make them the Linfield rival for the other half though.

[Shindig]

Man, we've been banging them in since the world ended. Bournemouth are done for.

[Foe]

Pals and I have a little bet club. Eight fold accumulator.

4/4 last night. Chelsea tonight, Newcastle paid out and forest all winning.

Guess who selected a draw in the Birmingham Huddersfield game? :moop:

[Waffdon]

Newcastle four points off Europe. Go on Brucey lad

[Lofty]

Cedric lol

[Lewis]

We’ll go with the fourth tier of an EU league instead. You could take Derry City back and make them the Linfield rival for the other half though.

Well whatever. The Irish can decide amongst themselves who goes forward (Home Rule, if you will). I am serious about this as well. Irish and Scottish football are only going to get worse in their own shitty systems.

[Giggles]

Well whatever. The Irish can decide amongst themselves who goes forward (Home Rule, if you will). I am serious about this as well. Irish and Scottish football are only going to get worse in their own shitty systems.

We’ve no ambition for things to be any better here as we have the GAA and your soccer which means it’ll never be a big thing. All we need to concentrate on is produce a better standard of schoolboy player to ship to England and Scotland (or better yet branch them out to Holland, Belgium, Portugal, etc). The domestic league will always just be what it is.

[niko_cee]

Right, just need Chelsea to do the business here and Brighton can conclusively save themselves by beating Norwich at the weekend.

Reading that thing on the BBC about how much of a disaster it'll be for West Ham if they go down, god I hope they do.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

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Shameful.

[Giggles]

It’s very Everton.

[Don]

[Putting aside the fact it's an abomination of a design,] How the fuck have we got here? Jesus.

[Spikey M]

That's possibly the worst kit of all time.

[niko_cee]

Is it really any worse than their current kit?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This VAR check is a fucking mess.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is clearly offside, should be disallowed. The ball has come from behind him, the keeper can't see it.

[niko_cee]

:lol:

Did it touch him (didn't look like it) or has he been deemed to have impeded one of the useless Spaniards failing to throw themselves in the way of the ball?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I wanted more lines.

[Jimmy Floyd]

His body (in an offside position) was shielding the ball from the defender/keeper. Not even a doubt as soon as I saw it. Neville's pro United guff showing here.

[Waffdon]

Why’s that been disallowed? Not sure why they got their lines out tonight but not against Man Utd.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Actually, is Neville just mates with Moyeseh? His brother certainly is. Would be a neater explanation for this diatribe.

[Luca]

His body (in an offside position) was shielding the ball from the defender/keeper. Not even a doubt as soon as I saw it. Neville's pro United guff showing here.

Hard to argue with this, although I think West Ham have a right to feel hard done by. His body (not in an offside position) blocks the view of the ball, not his head (in an offside position). I fully understand that's not how the rule works (and I understand why it's not how the rule works), but still a harsh call.

[Giggles]

If it’s against West Ham then it’s grand.

[Luca]

Second time 'Azpi' has been caught out, but what is Kepa doing?

[niko_cee]

I love that Kepa's automatic reaction is just to put his hands out in appeal every time one goes in.

[Waffdon]

Chelsea aren’t far off Arsenal levels in terms of their defence. It’s absolutely rancid, shielded by the worst goalkeeper in the top ten.

[Waffdon]

Came from Rudiger somehow managing to kick it out for a corner too.

[Raoul Duke]

1278325723036614659

Shameful.

Is that world famous King Of Banter Tim Lovejoy in the first pic? He looks about 70 there

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Chelsea :harold:

[Waffdon]

Rudiger :lol:

The only thing he’s good for is acting as an agent for Werner. Horrendous

Edit: Barkley definitely has something on Lampard

[Lewis]

How long has the BBC live thing been listing assisters under goalscorers?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mount is our best attacking player, along with Pulisic. They should both start every game and Dross Barkley should go in the bin.

[Don]

How long has the BBC live thing been listing assisters under goalscorers?

Since comeback, I believe. Great move as I bet they were losing a shitload of traffic from ff-ers.

I'm not watching so I'll await the MOTD package but I see we're getting close to being able to up the 'Can Tammy replace Kane' articles of a few months ago as peak lols. Imagine thinking he wasn't a Championship striker.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He was particularly, how can I put this, hard-working in this match. Of all our useless strikers down the years he is the champion of being needlessly caught offside.

[Don]

Tammy Abrababoon has 80 likes on twitter. A black life posted it so I think we're ok to appreciate it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ruben Loftus-Cheek is another champion of industry (his white half is fucking lazy).

[Mellberg]

'Mon Chelsea FFS.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:lol:

[Kikó]

What's the back lane about from Chelsea?

[niko_cee]

"lack of intelligence" by Rudiger there.

:D

I mean, he's right, but they'll be coming for you Gary.

[Waffdon]

That’s been coming for about 15 minutes down that side on the break.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Christensen is normally the thicker of the two.

Yarmolenko a classic scorer against us, done fuck all in this country.

[Luca]

Frank Binman indeed.

[Mellberg]

Oh shit.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh shit.

You're gone, man, solid gone. Should have easily beaten us 1-0 from the half time position but didn't have the stones.

[-james-]

Imagine making David Moyes' West Ham look decent.

[Mellberg]

You're gone, man, solid gone. Should have easily beaten us 1-0 from the half time position but didn't have the stones.

Yeah, we're shit and down. Liverpool and United next.

[Waffdon]

Imagine making David Moyes' West Ham look decent.

Chelsea’s back 5 will let anybody have a chance if you play them on the counter. It shows how horrific the league is that Chelsea are still two points clear.

Playing Kante sitting on his own also does not work very well at all.

[Waffdon]

Kepa’s shot time save ratio won’t be doing too well. Another 3 goals off just 4 on target.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Kepa isn't the problem, the problem is the centre backs are both toilet and expose him.

[Lewis]

When he first joined Chelsea I floated the idea that Kante was not great if he has a load of space to play into, because you're only really effective as a little yapping wank within a fifteen yard radius, but it got buried by the Hair Transplant shifting to a counter-attacking system and him winning things.

[Waffdon]

Kepa isn't the problem, the problem is the centre backs are both toilet and expose him.

What’s he actually good at? He’s somehow less commanding that David De Gea and is error prone.

[Lewis]

1278433294888112128

[Jimmy Floyd]

If we're talking racial stereotypes in football, everyone still thinking Kanté is Makelele and designed for shielding the back four only has got to be up there.

[Kikó]

That's shit.

[SvN]

If we're talking racial stereotypes in football, everyone still thinking Kanté is Makelele and designed for shielding the back four only has got to be up there.

He's bald, black, French and a midget. What do you expect?

[Lewis]

If we're talking racial stereotypes in football, everyone still thinking Kanté is Makelele and designed for shielding the back four only has got to be up there.

The most obvious example of this is Paulp Ogba clearly being a number ten but having the misfortune of resembling Patrick Vieira from fifty yards.

[mugbull]

I must have early onset Alzheimers. Stumbled upon the Huddersfield wiki page and thought to myself, don't think I've ever seen them play, wonder when the last time was that they were in the Premier League? Turns out they were there last season, and the season before that as well. Genuinely don't remember a thing about their stay

[Don]

I'd have to see what his reflexes are like but Pogba would probably be world class in any position tbf.

[SincereTheRebel]

Kepa is awful. He saves the square root of fuck all and then just yells at his defenders when its already in the net.

Wolves to finish in the champions league is a huge possibility now.

[SincereTheRebel]

I love that Kepa's automatic reaction is just to put his hands out in appeal every time one goes in.


Kepa’s shot time save ratio won’t be doing too well. Another 3 goals off just 4 on target.

Oh

[Shindig]

Man, our goals were crackers. I really hope we make Lazaro permanent. And play in silence forever.

[Waffdon]

The whole Wigan situation is a shambles. EFL are a joke.

[Baz]

Dave Whelan spinning in his grave.

[Waffdon]

He was on talksport yesterday saying he’ll try his best to help out. Not sure if he mentioned breaking his leg.

[mugbull]

Worst decision in the history of VAR. Actually.

[Luca]

Nussing to say.

[mugbull]

It didn’t even touch his fucking arm. And even if it did, you’d never give that. Watch the fucking replay you zebra wanker

[niko_cee]

By the sounds of it it's one of those that will be gone next season when this idiotic auto-handball rule is gone.

[mugbull]

By the sounds of it it's one of those that will be gone next season when this idiotic auto-handball rule is gone.

Sounds familiar...

[Luca]

Yeah, I’m going to chalk this one down to an idiot rule, not VAR. VAR is just applying a terrible, absolutist rule.

[mugbull]

Yeah, I’m going to chalk this one down to an idiot rule, not VAR. VAR is just applying a terrible, absolutist rule.

It’s a legal goal going by the rules, so no

[Don]

It touched his arm, brudda.

Berge looks a classy operator. He's set the bar very high but I'm so intrigued at what Sheff Utd do in the summer, not only is the cunt a tactical genius he also doesn't seem to fuck about in the transfer market :drool:

[Foe]

Referee saw the foul, played advantage and then VAR awarded a foul for a handball.

Why didn’t Tottenham get the original foul?

[mugbull]

It touched his arm, brudda.:

Yeah, on opposite day. The nipple isn’t the arm

[Don]

Mendy and Foden's inclusion make me confident we're about to run riot with 9 players (assuming Gomez's muzzy beard isn't backed up by his beliefs) still probably hangin out their arses :drool:

[mugbull]

Dier absolute trash

[Don]

Jesus, this is back to basics football done to perfection. Simple pass and move with pub players destroying lazy overpaid and undercoached cunts. If he got himself a massive designer watch and started wearing ankle swingers Wilder would be in a tug of war between Barca and the FA as we speak.

[mugbull]

I think the commentators never watch Tottenham. Wouldn’t blame them, but I’m pretty sure somebody’s said they can’t believe how quiet Kane’s been in every game this season. The man’s a shell of his old self, if you watched us you’d know that.

Dele is another one. “Surprised by how little impact he’s had”. Really? You are?

[Luca]

They also said "they've never really looked like scoring today," even though they scored a goal that should have stood. The DAZN commentators, at least.

[Spikey M]

1278760094457638913?s=19

:D

[mugbull]

He’s been shit since the end of his first season

[Spikey M]

I'm assuming he means the whole team.

[Giggles]

Has the stadium completely fucked Spurs? That’s some lol timing.

[Spikey M]

It was always going to, but Covid has fucked their ticket sales, NFL deal and they've failed to sell the naming rights. It's going well.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'd love it if Heidenheim won here.

They'd get minced by the bigger teams in the Bundesliga but minnows :drool:

[Giggles]

It was always going to, but Covid has fucked their ticket sales, NFL deal and they've failed to sell the naming rights. It's going well.

Very Spursy outcome really.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Heidenheim's matchday squad is 19 Germans and a sole Austrian, putting a proper shift in for the fatherland there.

[-james-]

Big couple of hours for the City > Liverpool agenda.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Heidenheim's matchday squad is 19 Germans and a sole Austrian, putting a proper shift in for the fatherland there.

They have a Congolese chap too (born in Germany though) out on loan.

[Don]

Pep's at least realised KDB is their sole threat and has rightfully told him to goalhang cause otherwise the gulf in class between our front three and theirs would be a wonderful sight.

[John]

That's brainless from Gomez.

[Don]

Get the fuck up, you soft lesbian.

[Serj]

Not smart by Gomez, but that's a very harsh penalty.

EDIT: Having seen it again, I take it back. Good call.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.tranmererovers.co.uk/news/2020/july/club-statement/#.Xv4eH5CP39Q.twitter

This is completely mad. Football clubs and the people in them are fucking bizarre, and it just gets more so the further down you go.

[Mike]

Oh eck

[-james-]

Oof.

[John]

That's lovely stuff, but Liverpool have clearly spent the last week on the gear.

[Serj]

Robertson is just mindlessly charging at anyone with the ball, it seems. Happened before the second and the third.

[Don]

Heidenheim's keeper was born in Rostock :D That's brilliant.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The guy with the cow bell and the guy with the air horn are twats.

[Giggles]

Heidenheim's keeper was born in Rostock :D That's brilliant.

It is?

[-james-]

Don't for a second buy that Liverpool are winning because City are hungover. Klopp gave them two days off 9 days ago, City played on Sunday.

[Giggles]

Don't for a second buy that Liverpool are winning because City are hungover. Klopp gave them two days off 9 days ago, City played on Sunday.

You might want to reverse that.

[Mike]

Huh?

[Luca]

Sterling celebrating that second goal is proper tin pot stuff.

[Don]

Mane trolling James.

[Lewis]

https://www.tranmererovers.co.uk/news/2020/july/club-statement/#.Xv4eH5CP39Q.twitter

This is completely mad. Football clubs and the people in them are fucking bizarre, and it just gets more so the further down you go.

The constant references to 'the Club' are the best thing about whatever it is they're even moaning about.

[Gray Fox]

There'll likely be a massive overreaction to this.

[Kikó]

Worst team to ever win the Premier League?

[Gray Fox]

#KloppOut

[Giggles]

There'll likely be a massive overreaction to this.

Doesn’t this normally happen teams straight after winning things?

[randomlegend]

Pep's at least realised KDB is their sole threat and has rightfully told him to goalhang cause otherwise the gulf in class between our front three and theirs would be a wonderful sight.

:happycry:

[Gray Fox]

There's very little to play for and judging by what I've heard about tonight the players don't seem to care all too much about going for records.

[Spoonsky]

Oh no!

[mugbull]

Can’t wait til Liverpool collapse next season due to lack of ambition

[Don]

RL's brought out the :***). I'M MASSIVE. A FUCKING PHENOMENON.

[niko_cee]

Thought the penalty was soft soft soft but will take it if that's an 'evening out' from the game earlier in the season. In fact, hopefully every dodgy VAR call and slice of good fortune evens itself out over the next 6 games. That's how it works, right?

How did Walker avoid being sent off for pulling Mané (was it?) back/nudging when through on goal? I didn't particularly think it was a foul but once the ref gives it isn't it an auto-red (even when VAR says no foul)? Such a clusterfuck. Ederson was in full headhunter mode as well so it's probably good no one ended up having to leave on a back board.

[Lofty]

I mean you can dress it up however you want if Arsenal won the league in the Wenger/Fergie era then got smashed by United the next game I wouldn't be happy, hangover or not.

[John Arne]

I woke up this morning, saw the score, and didn't really give a crap. That may be a reflection on my overall attitude to football at the moment, though.

[niko_cee]

I mean you can dress it up however you want if Arsenal won the league in the Wenger/Fergie era then got smashed by United the next game I wouldn't be happy, hangover or not.

Meh. Having been the team doing the beating of the newly crowned league champions on more than one occasion, it's better to be on the other end.

Thought it was a pretty even game up until the penalty, City just aren't a team you can let get on top of you. They are unsurpassed in their ability to run up the score/play from a winning position.

[SincereTheRebel]

Klopp always seems salty when he takes a loss

[Ian]

Most (all?) good managers are, it's only the most demented of their own fans who try to pretend their own manager isn't ever just being a pouty twat.

I did try to summon the energy to have a small lol at Liverpool last night but I just didn't have the enthusiasm for it, any more than I did for being grumpy about them winning the league.

[SincereTheRebel]

Klopp puts extra spice on it. Which is good. Motivation and all that.

[Ian]

It's more of a contrast as well because of the jovial Uncle Jurgen you get when he wins.

I mean, Mourinho or Ferguson, for example, seem like dickheads even when they're in a good mood.

[niko_cee]

I didn't see any of it but I assume Jose was on fine form after yesterday's game.

Spurs need to sort themselves out but I'm not sure how they're going to go about it.

[mugbull]

I didn't see any of it but I assume Jose was on fine form after yesterday's game.

Spurs need to sort themselves out but I'm not sure how they're going to go about it.

We won’t. We’ll be average for the next decade

[Jimmy Floyd]

In fairness to Kloppsi, the sort of questions asked by Geoff Shreeves and his ilk in post-match interviews are properly moronic.

So, Steve: A 4-0 win tonight, a lottery win and the Nobel Peace Prize. You must be pleased?

So, Steve: You lost 5-0; a pigeon shat in your mouth in the way into the ground, and your daughter was killed in a skiing accident. You must be disappointed?

[Ian]

Well you always have the option to not be paid squillions to manage in the BEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD.

If you want the honour of managing on a rainy Tuesday night at Burnley you have to accept that you need to do be asked by Shreeves whether losing a game is a bad thing.

[Giggles]

I can't abide punditry or interviews around sport any more, it's all such a load of bollocks. I'm nearly ready to get on board with the suggestion (Jimmy once upon a time I think) that we don't even need commentary.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've softened my stance a touch but I still think it should be one guy on his own, describing the action (he should know who the players are but not have any tedious stats about them), and Gary Neville shouldn't even be allowed to watch games let alone talk about them.

[Ian]

Punditry and presenting is all obsessed with how it's delivered (which is largely about creating memorable moments or 'banter') rather than the actual content of what's being said. I can't remember the last time I actually paid attention to the pre- or post-match stuff.

The same goes for stuff during a match. Andy Gray actually encapsulates that pretty perfectly. He did used to offer something and actually knew how to add something to the game but then by the end of his time at Sky only seemed interested in when to descend from the heavens to bestow a Tekabooson upon a player he deemed worthy.

[Ian]

I've softened my stance a touch but I still think it should be one guy on his own, describing the action (he should know who the players are but not have any tedious stats about them), and Gary Neville shouldn't even be allowed to watch games let alone talk about them.

Yeah the stats are there to replace another sort of charisma or wisdom. Same goes for shitey addendums like "lovely pass by the Ivorian international", which just isn't something anybody would say in a natural human conversation.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The best commentator ever (by a mile) is John Motson. Just tells you what's happening on the pitch, and does so accurately. Martin Tyler is next best, but loses points for simpering sycophancy of the Sir Henry Winter type.

I can't think of many colour men who have added much. Andy Townsend? He was underrated. I used to love Lawro's take on the role, just not caring and cracking the odd dad joke.

[Giggles]

The best commentator ever (by a mile) is John Motson. Just tells you what's happening on the pitch, and does so accurately. Martin Tyler is next best, but loses points for simpering sycophancy of the Sir Henry Winter type.

I can't think of many colour men who have added much. Andy Townsend? He was underrated. I used to love Lawro's take on the role, just not caring and cracking the odd dad joke.

Motson was too much of an outraged old woman all the time.

[Manc]

Pearce is king.

[Ian]

For actually being good or for his outrage when he doesn't understand something? I mean, the France goal-line tech moment from Pearce is one of the best-worst bits of commentary going.

[Lewis]

Tottenham should sack Daniel Levy. He is a myth. His reputation is built on rinsing Real Madrid for Gareth Bale, which doesn't look a bad deal in hindsight, and he wasted all of the money anyway.

[Spikey M]

He's part owner of ENIC which owns the majority of the club.

That's not to say he can't be sacked, but yeah... no chance.

[Giggles]

Pearce is king.

The modern day John 'Helen Lovejoy' Motson.

[Giggles]

For actually being good or for his outrage when he doesn't understand something? I mean, the France goal-line tech moment from Pearce is one of the best-worst bits of commentary going.

His Cantona kung fu one too. He nearly dropped his knitting in terror.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Cantona kung fu one is amazing just for the delivery. '... has KUNG FU KICKED a supporter, who without a SHADOW OF A DOUBT was giving him lip!' delivered at 1,000mph.

[Manc]

https://youtu.be/dHld_7DqMd8

Peak.

[SvN]

I've listened to that loads of times and it never gets old :D It's fucking brilliant. The "OH MY GOODNESS ME!" where his voice nearly breaks is peak commentary.

[Waffdon]

That’s amazing. Is there no football of it anywhere?

[SvN]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WFL01eLqbA

I can't believe there's not a dubbed version with Pearce over the top. I might give it a go.

[Ian]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjIj_GlvLD4

"Which replay are we supposed to believe??????"

Just one, Jonathan. The one where it went over the line, because it's two replays of two different moments in time.

Not as impressively hysterical as the Cantona one but much stupider.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Unquestionably Honduras's greatest World Cup moment. They've made three tournaments and it's the only contribution I can remember them making.

[SvN]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjIj_GlvLD4

"Which replay are we supposed to believe??????"

Just one, Jonathan. The one where it went over the line, because it's two replays of two different moments in time.

Not as impressively hysterical as the Cantona one but much stupider.

"Oh goodness me, they've changed their minds now".

Keown slowly, and patiently talking him through what everyone else saw and knew while Pearce goes on about how confusing and controversial it is. :D It's like he's talking to a toddler.

[Ian]

It's bad when Martin "Gets Angry At Books" Keown is the voice of reason.

[Kikó]

The best commentator ever (by a mile) is John Motson. Just tells you what's happening on the pitch, and does so accurately. Martin Tyler is next best, but loses points for simpering sycophancy of the Sir Henry Winter type.

I can't think of many colour men who have added much. Andy Townsend? He was underrated. I used to love Lawro's take on the role, just not caring and cracking the odd dad joke.

This is the worst take ever.

[Waffdon]

Peter Drury I always thought was quite good and underrated.

Andy Gray was obviously the best colour commentator

[Bob Sacamano]

Alan Green is the worst by some distance

[Lewis]

Andy Gray was class. People forget that since it all got a bit tawdry.

If it was up to me I wouldn't have commentary as such. I would have Gabriele 'Gab' Marcotti and Guillem Balague riffing over the action like a finely-tuned jazz band (all introduced by Mr James Richardson, natch). And I wouldn't actually screen the 'action' in case it distracted from their words.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is 'Gab' Marcotti still going? Haven't seen him around for ages. Maybe I just don't follow the right twitters.

[Lewis]

I don't know. I was just trying to come up a shit idea and suddenly remembered that Balague used to take the circle jerk on the road and people went to see it.

[Lewis]

'We now go to SeniorGuvnor...', and it says 'His Cold Bedroom' on the information bar because he's still recovering from Bamster annihilating him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I miss those quaint pre-Barca Mate days (I think Messi ruined it, like he does everything).

[Mellberg]

'We now go to SeniorGuvnor...', and it says 'His Cold Bedroom' on the information bar because he's still recovering from Bamster annihilating him.

I don't remember that one. What happened?

[Giggles]

Is 'Gab' Marcotti still going? Haven't seen him around for ages. Maybe I just don't follow the right twitters.

He's on Second Captains the odd time still. I think the last time he was on with Miguel Delaney so I couldn't listen to it.

[Lewis]

I don't remember that one. What happened?

He tried the usual Bamster being a thick builder stuff, so Loadsamoney rubbed his success in his face and told him all he had was his 'cold bedroom'. There is something about the imagery of that that I've always found seriously funny, and the fact that he stopped posting shortly afterwards suggests it triggered some sort of devastating existential crisis.

[Waffdon]

1279000646335836163

Hope Wigan do a Hearts and take EFL to court. Maybe they’ll have a better chance.

[Baz]

This is the worst take ever.
Yep. The worst. Needed about fifty replays to see stuff. That goal line technology one by Jonathan Pierce was a one-off, and felt like it could have been a sketch show spoof of Motson.

[Bob Sacamano]

This League 1 playoff is by far the most exciting game I've seen since football returned, even just if for Gareth Ainsworth and his leather jacket.

[ScousePig]

Proper blood and thunder, as expected.

[Max Power]

This League 1 playoff is by far the most exciting game I've seen since football returned, even just if for Gareth Ainsworth and his leather jacket.
The league two play off games were good as well. Level of intensity has been way higher the PL games I’ve watched - understandably I suppose.

[Spikey M]

Like him or not, Motson is the voice of Football.

[Lewis]

He was. It's Harvey Yevrah now.

[mo]

Barton's Fleetwood down to 9 and 4-1 down at home :harold:

[ScousePig]

Five goals, two red cards, a missed penalty, a flair on the pitch, and a few near punch-ups.

Standard League One fare.

[ScousePig]

And now a post-match team talk on the pitch by an 18 stone striker.

[mo]

Pretty sure Madden asked the lino if he was 'fucking bent', but I may have misheard.

[Bernanke]

Milan Baros retiring now threw me for a loop.

[Giggles]

Milan Baros retiring now threw me for a loop.

About 5 years later than I’d have imagined.

[Kikó]

Like him or not, Motson is the voice of Football.

Also wrong, Barry Davies is the right answer.

[Shindig]

Play Brian Moore.

[Giggles]

Play Brian Moore.

Correct.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Barry Davies was just a miserable, postulating grandpa. Too much tennis on his CV as well, tennis people are not to be trusted.

'Oh I say' <<< Motson's 'Now then'

[Spikey M]

Also wrong, Barry Davies is the right answer.

Fifa 98.

Check MATE.

[John]

Yeah the stats are there to replace another sort of charisma or wisdom. Same goes for shitey addendums like "lovely pass by the Ivorian international", which just isn't something anybody would say in a natural human conversation.

Mahow does it all the time.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I do it when I don't know the player's name.

[Lewis]

'If anything he's decorated that shoebox too well.'

[Mellberg]

He tried the usual Bamster being a thick builder stuff, so Loadsamoney rubbed his success in his face and told him all he had was his 'cold bedroom'. There is something about the imagery of that that I've always found seriously funny, and the fact that he stopped posting shortly afterwards suggests it triggered some sort of devastating existential crisis.

:D

Donned by Bam. For shame.

[Don]

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2020/jul/03/frank-lampard-says-chelsea-could-solve-set-piece-problem-by-signing-tall-players

Steinberg's done him dirty there :D

[SincereTheRebel]

Watching the random Wycombe highlights and a name brought back memories. Matt Bloomfield. One of my longest FM saves ever which was 2005 or 2006. I managed Wycombe all the way into the prem and Bloomfield was 39 before when we finally reached our goal if premire league football. It feels emotionally strange. I could almost cry.

Turns out, he never left Wycombe in the real world. Over 500 appearances later and here he is, still playing at 36.

[Mike]

What you’re saying is in 3 years Wycombe will be in the premier league?

[SincereTheRebel]

:|

[Spikey M]

Stick a tenner on it.

1279143257239367680?s=20

[niko_cee]

Should be a good weekend for Brighton, with safety on offer if things go their way, so I fully expect them to lose to Norwich and then see Bournemouth, Watford and Villa pull off miraculous wins.

[Don]

Like they'd fucking be up for instigating those levels of interest. Good riddance to Norwich, who wants to see them playing their own brand of Ajax Total Football with magicians like Buendia when you can watch 3 lanky circus freaks make 5 yard passes between themselves across the back line.

[niko_cee]

Norwich are just dreadful.

It feels like they've been actively trying to get relegated since the resumption.

Anyone worth harvesting out of them? Cantwell or the fullbacks?

[Lofty]

Flicker of hope Arsenal could get something today so no doubt Wolves will batter us.

[Gray Fox]

Norwich are just dreadful.

It feels like they've been actively trying to get relegated since the resumption.

Anyone worth harvesting out of them? Cantwell or the fullbacks?

Cantwell, Aarons and Pukki will get another Premier League move with ease. Beyond that I can't even name too many of their players.

[Ian]

We'll be lucky if England international Dominic Solanke doesn't spank about five past us today.

This'll be good quote-bait if he scores.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pukki hasn't done anything since December, no?

[Gray Fox]

I don't think you've much to fear from Solanke and his 0 goals and 1 assist in 27 games this season.

[niko_cee]

Fernandes should score there.

Channeling his inner Dom Solanke.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

ffs.

[Ian]

He's mugged Maguire right off that.

Dave too.

[niko_cee]

Someone get Roy Keane on TV.

[ScousePig]

Cracking Championship line up today. Forest have thrown away two points against Derby in one promotion derby, and now Cardiff playing Bristol City with both in and around the play off places.

All the other 3pm games look important, too.

[Gray Fox]

Fully expect a United comeback into an easy 3-1/4-1 win here but losing to this shower should see the club shut down.

[Lewis]

These drinks breaks are pathetic.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mason Greenwood :drool:

[randomlegend]

Mbappe has a Greenwood poster in his room.

[-james-]

Norwich are just dreadful.

It feels like they've been actively trying to get relegated since the resumption.

Anyone worth harvesting out of them? Cantwell or the fullbacks?

I think they spent about 750k last summer so they've played above par tbh. It's the worst squad in the league but there are worse sides. Someone else will have a punt on Farke if he goes.

[Waffdon]

Man Utd must be on track for 20 penalties this season

[niko_cee]

I think they spent about 750k last summer so they've played above par tbh. It's the worst squad in the league but there are worse sides. Someone else will have a punt on Farke if he goes.

What would below par look like for them? No points?