Euro 2024 - Group Stage: This format is bollocks

[Pepe]

I thought that had been deemed illegal at some point in the near past.

[Magic]

Wait are Austria winning the group? :D

[SincereTheRebel]

That stutter shouldn't mean it gets retaken. He is faking the shot on a penalty.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yes Austria.

[Adramelch]

I thought that had been deemed illegal at some point in the near past.

I'm fairly certain it still is. You're not allowed to stop your run and he clearly does.

[Waffdon]

That stutter shouldn't mean it gets retaken. He is faking the shot on a penalty.

Exactly . Utter joke that strikers can do all that shenanigans and keeper can’t move an inch

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Shame he's offside because that was a cracking finish.

[Baz]

Hope England is exciting as this Holland game later. :popcorn:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Really think Austria could do the inverse of Greece 2004, and just scythe through all the boring teams like they aren't there.

[Yevrah]

This Austria side cannot be stopped. They could win it.

I'm certainly glad we appear to have avoided them.

[Gray Fox]

This tournament has been grand so far.

[Baz]

Sounds like aftertiming but I randomly listened to talksport in the car, which I never do anymore, on the day of the first game and some bloke was bigging up Austria, mostly based on Ralph Rangnick’s connection with his players.

[niko_cee]

He took them to a Rod Steward concert don't you know.

[-james-]

It's coming fucking home.

[-james-]

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/912790411951624263/1255216784857108540/image.png

:harold:

[Adramelch]

I was just about to say that something like that really should be a yellow card, so I'm happy that was the outcome.

[Spikey M]

1805659709996941549?t=0kLmhGjoM2PKOniKAPMfAg&s=19

Cba

[niko_cee]

It's coming fucking home.

:drool:

Dreadful Holland and Italy sides also add the veneer of it not being a piss easy route to, erm, losing to Austria in the semis?

[Jimmy Floyd]

This gives us Holland with a win doesn't it? Surely waistcoat has a 0-0 up his sleeve now.

[Magic]

1805659709996941549?t=0kLmhGjoM2PKOniKAPMfAg&s=19

Cba

He really is a thunderously boring cunt.

[niko_cee]

This gives us Holland with a win doesn't it? Surely waistcoat has a 0-0 up his sleeve now.

Wouldn't that yield Zee Germans?

[Serj]

Well, fuck me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Switzerland beating Italy is also quite plausible so I suppose Dutchies it is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Well, fuck me.

Are they dancing in the streets of Innsbruck? Is Graz now a party town?

[Spikey M]

He really is a thunderously boring cunt.

Honestly wouldn't be surprised if he's flown out Phillips, white'd him up and shoved him in a Gallagher shirt.

[niko_cee]

I'm hopeful some of this draw fortune is ironing out historical injustice, rather than condemning us to decades of misfortune once Southgate goes.

[Waffdon]

We’re actually doomed. How has Southgate managed to steer clear of the nasty side of the bracket again. It’s actually Euro 2020 all over but replace Germans with the dutch.

[Yevrah]

I was worried that this was going to be a shitshow, but apparently Conor Gallagher "will get forwards and stretch them". Phew!

[Pepe]

Can't believe I wasted my time watching the French and missed all the SCENES on the other side.

[niko_cee]

I was worried that this was going to be a shitshow, but apparently Conor Gallagher "will get forwards and stretch them". Phew!

Gallagher in the 10, Foden on the wing, Bellingham doing dog work in holding midfield.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A fat, middle aged Rafael van der Vaart is doing the hurdy gurdy shrugging duties on Dutch TV. How the years slip by.

[Yevrah]

Holland will be horrible as we'll get 5 days of bunting about how good the Dutch are (Cryuff turns, Bergkamp against Argentina etc.) with a Stalinist refusal to acknowledge that this Dutch iteration is garbage.

[niko_cee]

3 days total football, 2 days Euro '96.

[niko_cee]

God I hate Karen Carney.

On the flipside I love the fact that the pundits never wargame the draw to point out how unbalanced it now is.

[Magic]

Well, fuck me.

:cool:

[Serj]

Are they dancing in the streets of Innsbruck? Is Graz now a party town?

We're not sure how to react, really. Decades of irrelevance are hard to shake off. The collective cheers at the restaurant where I was watching were hard enough to process.

If our round of 16 tie is against Turkey some districts of Vienna will have an interesting night, in any case.

[Yevrah]

This pundit thing is proper flange city.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, they need to wind it in a bit as everything about the 'England Set-up' currently reeks of massive, misplaced arrogance. Declan Rice giving it the big one as if he is someone who has done anything of note in his career.

[Spikey M]

"Best manager since '66" :harold:

[Yevrah]

Also proper concerning that Declan Rice seems hell bent on playing well and pressing with his besties to prove Gary Lineker wrong. If Crisps hadn't called them shit would they have been happy to play like arse again?

G'wan Roy.

[niko_cee]

Ange manager, Keane ass-man.

[Jimmy Floyd]

God I hate Karen Carney.

On the flipside I love the fact that the pundits never wargame the draw to point out how unbalanced it now is.

It's just not how elite sportspeople think (apart from Gareth Southgate, evidently). They are all about the task at hand and not worrying about what anyone else is doing. Which is the right way to be, until it isn't.

[Dark Soldier]

Already through, talisman Kane banging them in. Beauty of a country, tonight we get to witness the winners. Sir Gareth, forever our man. Three Lions lets go.

[niko_cee]

It's just not how elite sportspeople think (apart from Gareth Southgate, evidently). They are all about the task at hand and not worrying about what anyone else is doing. Which is the right way to be, until it isn't.

I always think it's odd when managers claim, in my view feign, ignorance of upcoming fixtures. Klopp was terrible for it. You would think, given that every inch of everything is analysed and micro-managed beyond imagination that those sort of things would very much be someone's job, not least at club level in terms of managing minutes etc - it's probably where Pep is ahead of everyone.

[Spikey M]

Stop shrieking into the microphone, woman.

[Yevrah]

God I hate Karen Carney.

It would be useful if someone could tell her she doesn't need to shout when she's holding a microphone 4cm from her mouth.

[7om]

I went to primary school with Karen Carney. That makes me a very interesting person.

[Lewis]

United should have waited to see what the Austria manager, whoever he is, is doing after the tournament.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Maybe he's playing Gallagher so that he gets booked (he will) and isn't tempted to pick him in the knockout match.

[7om]

God I’d love us to lose tonight.

[John Arne]

Almost all the "big" teams so far seem happy to rotate their team (albeit Spain I think were guaranteed top), England, well Southgate, seems to absolutely dread it.

Seems like he wants to pick his best XI players regardless of opposition, the tactic (lol), or anything else.

[Adramelch]

Slovenia being fairly happy with a draw doesn't really bode well for this match.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

That is a fucking shocking line up given the first 2 games.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Southgate has gone from a three piece suit to a short-sleeved white quarterzip, this is a man regressing in front of our very eyes.

[Magic]

What is England's game plan here lol.

[Magic]

10 minutes and no attempts. :drool:

[Yevrah]

After all of the talk of coming out to prove a point I was worried I wouldn't get to see Harry Kane's fantastic range of passing, but there he is, 40 yards from his own goal, sandwiched in between our central midfielders spraying a ball. :drool:

[7om]

Why even bother taking 26 players when he only realistically intends on playing about 15 of them. Southgate is so unimaginative and wooden it’s infuriating.

[Serj]

Austrian commentators are completely shocked by the poor technique on display from various England players here. :happycry: Already getting ideas above our station, I am loving it.

[Yevrah]

10 minutes and no attempts. :drool:

Harry Kane was a foot away from making it a hat-trick of touches in the box this tournament though.

[Baz]

Well this is already shit. What channels Denmark on?

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is borderline unwatchable so far. Just some men kicking it to each other slowly.

[Pepe]

Southgate has gone from a three piece suit to a short-sleeved white quarterzip, this is a man regressing in front of our very eyes.

Wearing that thing under a sportscoat should have earned him the death penalty.

[Lewis]

Austrian commentators are completely shocked by the poor technique on display from various England players here. :happycry: Already getting ideas above our station, I am loving it.

That normally works out well for everyone.

[Kikó]

Surprised this team that has lacked any bit of creation in the first two games are continuing to lack creation in game three despite Connor Gallagher being added. Something is up.

[Adramelch]

This is borderline unwatchable so far. Just some men kicking it to each other slowly.

And still failing half the time.

[Magic]

Lee Dixon commentating on this is perfect harmony, btw.

[Gray Fox]

As funny as this all is, you wonder how a supposed professional bunch of coaches have spent weeks with this bunch of talented players, for them to have zero idea of what to do.

[7om]

Bloody hell we actually got a cross into the box. Progress.

[Yevrah]

Surprised this team that has lacked any bit of creation in the first two games are continuing to lack creation in game three despite Connor Gallagher being added. Something is up.

Yes, our manager is atrocious.

[Serj]

That normally works out well for everyone.

We've imported a German leader this time around, everything will be different.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have Dutch commentary and in between all the gobbledegook he keeps saying 'Shearer, Lineker and Rooney'. Not sure whether he is yearning for the glory days of English forwards, or referring to their punditry sesh on the BBC the other day.

Wondering that is the full extent of the excitement I've been able to muster so far.

[Magic]

:harold:

[Yevrah]

Fucking hell, that was actually good and it's offside. :sad:

[Pepe]

:harold:

[Magic]

20 minutes no attempts.

[Kikó]

Steve Clarke is Gareth Southgate.

[Yevrah]

20 minutes no attempts.

Given both goals we have scored came from deflected crosses, the only actual chance I can recall us creating this entire tournament was that header that Kane should have buried against Serbia that was saved. Maybe you could count that narrow angle no one is ever scoring from effort that Watkins had when he came on.

[John Arne]

Said this many times before, but a 1 game ban after receiving 2 yellow cards over 3 games is fucking stupid.

[Baz]

Lee Dixon commentating on this is perfect harmony, btw.
Who’s he with? Matterface?

When Trippier got booked he was like ‘that puts him on … a yellow card’ :cab: cheers for that, Sam.

[Yevrah]

Bellingham must have a worse pass completion rate in this game than peak-England Gerrard.

[Pepe]

Said this many times before, but a 1 game ban after receiving 2 yellow cards over 3 games is fucking stupid.

I agree. They should get rid of that stupid rule. Can't believe it has been like that for decades now.

[Magic]

Watching Southgate turn Bellingham in to Michael Brown really is a joy to watch.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Do the opposition coaches, including this rather fetching-looking chap in a baseball cap, actually prepare for Harry Kane playing as a sort of Clodoaldo / Nobby Stiles hybrid at the base of midfield? Maybe it's meant to upset their plans.

[Magic]

Get TRENT on at half time.

[Adramelch]

What an abysmal group this has been in its entirety. Can't quite recall the Denmark-Slovenia game (though that's sort of an indication), but has there been an actual good game?

[Baz]

Just chuck Palmer on (for literally anyone except Bellingham) and let him do his thing. He’s so much better than any of this lot.

[Pepe]

I hope Argentina-Chile tonight salvages this god-awful day of football (didn't watch the dutch lose).

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

20 minutes no attempts.

Betfair were offering a MATCH SPECIAL at evens for England to have a shot in the first 20 minutes lol.

[7om]

To think we are a nation that is consistently top 10, if not top 5, ranked in the world and we haven’t won a trophy in 58 years. There’s something in our DNA at this level.

[CJay]

What an abysmal group this has been in its entirety. Can't quite recall the Denmark-Slovenia game (though that's sort of an indication), but has there been an actual good game?

Serbia - Slovenia was a good watch. Plenty of spectacle and a fantastic second half.

[Magic]

30 minutes no attempts.

[Waffdon]

Genuinely have no idea why you’d have a player like Foden on the left. He should be either cutting inside or just in the hole. Makes no sense at all

[SvN]

To think we are a nation that is consistently top 10, if not top 5, ranked in the world and we haven’t won a trophy in 58 years. There’s something in our DNA at this level.

Oh god, you've done it now.

[Magic]

OMG an attempt!

[Pepe]

Oh god, you've done it now.

Trust him, he is a doctor.

[John Arne]

Trippier needs to stop taking throws in and just playing back to Guehi. Keep momentum going forward, dickhead.

[Magic]

Dixon blaming the pitch. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Trippier needs to stop taking throws in and just playing back to Guehi. Keep momentum going forward, dickhead.

Forward? That's not the way.

[Dark Soldier]

Silky passes, grit, determination. Solid show so far. Come on lads.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've realised why Trippier is in, to take set pieces. Might as well have brought James Ward-Prowse.

[Serj]

This is almost as bad as the Scotland game. Brexit from UEFA, please.

[randomlegend]

Gallagher is absolutely pointless, Mainoo is ten times the player he is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What's the bracket looking like from a third place finish?

[John Arne]

Bellingham as this advanced roaming 10 is bizarre. He's not that type of player, strolling around doing fuck all.

[Dan]

Trippier needs a cricket bat to his right knee. You could do it on his left leg but it would be pointless as it already doesn’t do anything.

I thought we’d be traditionally English about this but even still the group stage has managed to fall below expectations.

[Spikey M]

This is like watching fucking Socceraid.

[Pepe]

Silky passes, grit, determination. Solid show so far. Come on lads.

70+% possession. Absolute dominance.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lol Kane.

[Yevrah]

Right, I've seen enough to call it. This has been better than the Denmark game and the last 60 minutes of Serbia.

[Adramelch]

Trippier clearly the only player in the squad that's any good at creating chances.

[Spikey M]

"Spicy backpass".

Fuck off you banter lord.

[7om]

Yev going for the jinx early doors. I like it.

[Adramelch]

The real spectacle here is related to yellow cards, seeing as Denmark are ahead of Slovenia courtesy of the disciplinary record tiebreaker.

[Lewis]

This is like 2010. At least in 2014 we got done by decent teams.

[John Arne]

Rice has been decent. Not sure why we are struggling to get the ball to Sakas feet.

[7om]

The real spectacle here is related to yellow cards, seeing as Denmark are ahead of Slovenia courtesy of the disciplinary record tiebreaker.

Fucking hell we’ve hit rock bottom

[Yevrah]

This is like 2010. At least in 2014 we got done by decent teams.

I called that in the last game. It's rancid, rotten and there's no way back, just as then.

If we win the group then the second round is basically Sir Gareth against Ronald Koeman and I know who I'd fancy.

That said, you'd imagine Denmark will get a goal at some point because they have to, so Germany is well and truly on. :drool:

EDIT: Denmark don't need a goal do they? For some reason their game isn't updating on the BBC's table.

[Spikey M]

Right, I've seen enough to call it. This has been better than the Denmark game and the last 60 minutes of Serbia.

Against worse opposition, sure.

57th in the FIFA rankings, this lot. Just behind Iraq and Saudi Arabia.

This is awful.

[Lewis]

I called that in the last game. It's rancid, rotten and there's no way back just as then.

If we win the group then the second round is basically Sir Gareth against Ronald Koeman and I know who I'd fancy.

That said, you'd imagine Denmark will get a goal at some point because they have to, so Germany is well and truly on. :drool:

I don't know. I feel like any side with a plan and a bit or urgency could do us, but the Dutch look about as non-coached as we do, so our better individuals might win any shit-off there.

[Yevrah]

Against worse opposition, sure.

57th in the FIFA rankings, this lot. Just behind Iraq and Saudi Arabia.

This is awful.

Yeah, it's absolute shite and I've lost count of the number of times an England player wasn't expecting/was expecting another England player to do something. But I wouldn't want to be seen as not being even handed and we have at least ventured into the opposition third.

[Yevrah]

I don't know. I feel like any side with a plan and a bit or urgency could do us, but the Dutch look about as non-coached as we do, so our better individuals might win any shit-off there.

Maybe, but we're not even doing anything individually so far in this tournament.

[niko_cee]

Slovenia very clearly playing for the draw.

This may not have been as bad as Denmark, but Denmark are better, and this is still bad.

[Kikó]

I don't know why the centre halves don't carry it forward and create an extra man. They've got the space and ability to do it (especially Stones). There's no one on the half turn and nothing unpredictable.

[Pepe]

Germany looked pretty bad too. I say IT'S ON.

[Yevrah]

I don't know why the centre halves don't carry it forward and create an extra man.

You do know though, don't you?

[Dark Soldier]

70+% possession. Absolute dominance.

Precisely. On course for no losses in the group. Proper football.

[Spikey M]

Proper football.

*Tournament

[Magic]

Subbing Gallagher. :D

[Waffdon]

Mainoo to make the difference and everyone to pile onto Southgate even more?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Finally Mainoo time.

[Adramelch]

Against worse opposition, sure.

57th in the FIFA rankings, this lot. Just behind Iraq and Saudi Arabia.

This is awful.

One of their starting strikers is not starting games for the team that finished 4th in the Greek League. We're talking about real quality here.

[Yevrah]

As for Mainoo coming on, it doesn't really matter who he starts or brings on as ultimately, every single one of them is still being managed by Gareth Southgate.

[Ben]

At least we have a bit of urgency in our attacks today.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Send him off.

[7om]

I wonder what they talk about at half time, because we never seem to come out and do anything different.

[randomlegend]

What was the fucking arm movement from Southgate :D

[7om]

What was the fucking arm movement from Southgate :D

Looked like Donald Trump’s dance move.

[Pepe]

Looked like Donald Trump’s dance move.

:lol:

[John Arne]

Why is Stones refusing to pass it to Walker? Have they fallen out?

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbsuAbTTsV8

[Pepe]

I hope these two matches end 0-0. That would leave the group with just one match being won by anyone. The magic of tournament football.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It can't be stated how much Trippier at left back is causing all of this. It just completely blocks off one side of the pitch.

[John Arne]

We are now at the point where commentators and the crowd are praising Southgate... For making substitutes.

[Yevrah]

It can't be stated how much Trippier at left back is causing all of this. It just completely blocks off one side of the pitch.

Compounded by him refusing to play (or even bring on) a natural left sided player ahead of him too.

[John Arne]

It can't be stated how much Trippier at left back is causing all of this. It just completely blocks off one side of the pitch.

It's infuriating.

[Yevrah]

Not shooting from that free kick. :D

All things considered, this really has been an amazing display from the first whistle 10 days ago to now.

[Dark Soldier]

Nearly 75% possession. If the opposition doesn't have the ball, they can't score. The foundation of the great Barcelona and Spain sides. I can see similarities. Loving this.

[Serj]

Denmark falling to third place because their assistant manager got shown a yellow card, you love to see it.

[Yevrah]

I admire your fortitude DS, even James can't be arsed to talk about how Argentina were shit in the last World Cup and Portugal won a Euros having drawn their first three games.

[7om]

I can’t quite believe how poor Bellingham has looked in these three games. I don’t remember him sprinting once and when he does get the ball he either passes backwards or gives it away. This is the La Liga player of the year for fuck sake.

[Jimmy Floyd]

How the fuck is Ilicic still playing? He must be about 45.

Someone will score in Denmark-Serbia so we need to pinch one here.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Denmark falling to third place because their assistant manager got shown a yellow card, you love to see it.

He's clearly gamed the bracket even if no one else is.

[Ben]

Denmark falling to third place because their assistant manager got shown a yellow card, you love to see it.

Is that so they avoid Germany?

[Yevrah]

If only we had a player who could break from midfield and finish.

[Pepe]

I can’t quite believe how poor Bellingham has looked in these three games. I don’t remember him sprinting once and when he does get the ball he either passes backwards or gives it away. This is the La Liga player of the year for fuck sake.

Zidane never sprinted either.

[Spikey M]

I can’t quite believe how poor Bellingham has looked in these three games. I don’t remember him sprinting once and when he does get the ball he either passes backwards or gives it away. This is the La Liga player of the year for fuck sake.

He was Supurb for the first half an hour against Serbia. But yeah, since then he's done fuck all.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Denmark falling to third place because their assistant manager got shown a yellow card, you love to see it.

:D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Poor refereeing from Turpin. There was no reason to stop the game there.

[igor_balis]

Wait I thought they'd changed it so they don't stop the game unless it's a head injury? Why has the ref blown there?

[igor_balis]

Yeah what he said

[7om]

Zidane never sprinted either.

Yeah and look how that worked out for him. Bald.

[John Arne]

The ref booking Foden for that is proper petty stuff.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The midfield maestro :drool:

[Kikó]

Palmer and Mainoo are significant upgrades but won't start the next game.

[Dark Soldier]

I admire your fortitude DS, even James can't be arsed to talk about how Argentina were shit in the last World Cup and Portugal won a Euros having drawn their first three games.

Thank you. Not everyone has the desire to stick to the path of truth with every post.

[Dan]

It can't be stated how much Trippier at left back is causing all of this. It just completely blocks off one side of the pitch.

It’s alright, Kyle Walker is there now. Problem solved.

[Serj]

Serbia denied a clear penalty here, as much as I want the Danes to win (about as obvious a shirt-pull as you're likely to see). Not a good look for the referee

[John Arne]

An 89th minute attacking sub. Sign of a man in control of everything.

[Yevrah]

Bringing Anthony Gordon on in the 89th minute is unreal. Best possible chance to show what he can do.

[Adramelch]

Has anyone informed Southgate that there's a way to actually make 5 substitutions?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's taken Trippier and Foden off because they got booked and he doesn't want them suspended for his next inspiring selection. No other reason.

[Shindig]

These are the only minutes Gordon is getting isn't it?

[7om]

Great sub from Gareth. Bring the quick players in late to run at tired defenders. Love that.

[Cord]

I don't know about you, but I'm impressed at the quality of tournament football on display.

[Pepe]

Yellow card table check, please.

[Yevrah]

I don't know about you, but I'm impressed at the quality of tournament football on display.

Yep, these boys have really rammed the "you're shit" jibe down Lineker's throat.

[Pepe]

Tiki taka :drool:

[Magic]

Jesus Christ thank fuck for that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lol at Pickford trying to get the fans cheering.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pickford trying to pump up the crowd :D

They genuinely believe this is a success, don't they?

[Yevrah]

Well, that's the shittiest group stage performance I can ever remember England putting in. Even in 2010 we had the wherewithal to score against Slovenia in the last game.

[Pepe]

Are Slovenia second, then? :D

[Adramelch]

It's a shame Denmark couldn't grab a goal to send you right into Germany.

[Serj]

Sack off the whole group. Shouldn't be allowing these minnows into serious international tournaments.

[Pepe]

They really need to cut the teams qualifying by half.

[Spikey M]

Is there any prospect of Luke Shaw being able to play any time soon?

[7om]

@DS

Your summary of the group stage, please.

[Yevrah]

Is there any prospect of Luke Shaw being able to play any time soon?

Even if he does he won't be fit. We're going out on Sunday anyway.

[Waffdon]

England are winning it all. How on earth do you serve this up three times over and still finish top and avoid any half decent sides.

Seethe

[Shindig]

The worst part about all of this is that it never looked in doubt. You can't play like this on accident. Is Southgate banking on some fitness advantage nonsense?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Final dispatch from Dutch TV is Marco van Basten, with what looks like a large glass of red wine, looking like he has aged about 100 years from what he looked like at the start of the game, or perhaps he's had a bottle and a half of the wine.

[Yevrah]

England are winning it all. How on earth do you serve this up three times over and still finish top and avoid any half decent sides.

Seethe

Holland, while a shadow of what they've been, would represent the biggest footballing nation we've ever knocked out of a tournament on foreign soil. It's far from a done deal.

[niko_cee]

He's taken Trippier and Foden off because they got booked and he doesn't want them suspended for his next inspiring selection. No other reason.

This is the only reason he brought Mainoo on as well, sadly.

Maybe he'll somehow land on the Wafflez-Wharton nightmare but I doubt it. Mainoo at least carries some sort of attacking threat with his neat little flicks and the impetuosity of youth.

[Yevrah]

The worst part about all of this is that it never looked in doubt. You can't play like this on accident. Is Southgate banking on some fitness advantage nonsense?

I mean he could be, but I suspect it's much more likely he doesn't know what he's doing.

[Dark Soldier]

Top of the group, undefeated. Dominated possession, the players out there like absolute warriors. Trippier the one man army nullifying the opposition.

We got a taste of Mainoo, Palmer and Gordon. Sir Gareth has been fantastic with them, have them chomping at the bit, frothing. Build the fans up. But he muzzled them, kept them under control. Unleashed them like a pack of Bully XLs in this match and we saw the rewards reaped.

I know Yev thinks I'm just putting this on or something, but you can talk all about razzmatazz, show, flair, fun. However, like all the great things in this world, such as Christianity, glory is built on belief. and I honestly know that come the 14th of July, we will all be newly formed members of the religion of Sir Gareth. Onwards we march.

Three Lions on a shirt,
Henri Delaunay will be gleaming.

[niko_cee]

England are winning it all. How on earth do you serve this up three times over and still finish top and avoid any half decent sides.

Seethe

:D

It's unreal. Does the end of that play about him end up with him walking off like Keyser Soze?

[Yevrah]

You weren't putting it on at the start, but after a knock in the 2nd half shitfest against Serbia it all completely unravelled against Denmark and you've been playing up to it ever since.

[Dark Soldier]

You weren't putting it on at the start, but after a knock in the 2nd half shitfest against Serbia it all completely unravelled against Denmark and you've been playing up to it ever since.

Its okay for us to be opposites Yev, I still like you.

[Waffdon]

Holland, while a shadow of what they've been, would represent the biggest footballing nation we've ever knocked out of a tournament on foreign soil. It's far from a done deal.

Just reeks of euro 2020. The Dutch and the Germans back then are very similar.

Hoping whoever in the final is slightly better than that Italy side were however

[Yevrah]

Just reeks of euro 2020. The Dutch and the Germans back then are very similar.

Maybe, but we had home advantage against Germany then. We've a reasonable record at beating decent footballing nations at home, away it's non-existent with Denmark and Sweden being the biggest scalps IIRC.

[niko_cee]

No easy games, 2 clean sheets, massive performance improvement, tournament football, step in the right direction, game of two halves, jumpers for goalposts . . .

[Pepe]

Netherlands vs England has 0-0 until some fluke goal in stoppage written all over it. Or a good old PK exit, to keep it traditional.

[randomlegend]

Genuinely made me want to gouge my own eyes out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The thing that grates about this is that Southgate is clearly doing it deliberately because he and/or the FA are obsessed with copying the 'top of the market' as Sean Dyche would say, and that is, in his eyes, Deschamps and France.

We have absolutely zero chance of winning the tournament playing this way and whoever takes over after Southgate - hopefully someone like Potter or someone who has ever played attacking football ever - will have the easiest job in the world and have us enthralled as we rifle through Nations League B (so funny btw that we're in that) in the autumn playing exciting stuff with a new set of players.

It'll be Eddie Howe won't it who is basically Southgate mk 2.

[7om]

Mainoo incisive, Gordon electric, Palmer menacing, Trent the new Gerrard. The subs changed the game for us tonight.

[Pepe]

Mainoo incisive, Gordon electric, Palmer menacing, Trent the new Gerrard. The subs changed the game for us tonight.

Bodes well for the last two minutes of the next match.

[niko_cee]

Mainoo incisive, Gordon electric, Palmer menacing, Trent the new Gerrard. The subs changed the game for us tonight.

Unchanged team on Sunday.

[Yevrah]

Why does Wikipedia not having down as playing Holland and 3rd in D or E instead? What has to happen in group E for us not to play Holland?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why does Wikipedia not having down as playing Holland and 3rd in D or E instead? What has to happen in group E for us not to play Holland?

We could play 3E if 3A (Hungary) are eliminated, and that would involved 3E having a better record than Hungary - so 2 draws would sort it, maybe other combos I don't know.

Then 3F would also have to have a better record than Hungary, and that will need Georgia to beat Portugal. So it's not happening.

[Waffdon]

As far as I can see, one of Belgium, Slovenia, Austria or Turkey will be in the semis :D

[wullie]

Exact same group record as in 1990, which was similarly a festival of swashbuckling football.

[niko_cee]

What are the odds on Gareth saying Slovenia came out looking for a the draw, which made it difficult in his comments?

[7om]

What are the odds on Gareth saying Slovenia came out looking for a the draw, which made it difficult in his comments?

Kane has already said words to that affect. The script was written and memorised before kick off.

[Yevrah]

What does Sir Gareth mean by "it's a strange environment we're playing in"? Sounded suspiciously like a dig at something/somebody.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, he means it's outrageous that we aren't all lapping it up and we don't know how good we've got it.

Second place in this group is fucked having to play Germany on such a relatively shorter turnaround.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What does Sir Gareth mean by "it's a strange environment we're playing in"? Sounded suspiciously like a dig at something/somebody.

As in he thinks they are playing marvellously successful football but he and the team are getting heaps of criticism anyway and he doesn't understand it.

[Yevrah]

Oh, I thought he wasn't listening to what anyone was saying. That's what he told me earlier.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He probably isn't, which is why they are absolutely flabbergasted to be asked by journalists about how shit they are and receive jeers from the fans.

[Yevrah]

Oh he's opened up about it on Talksport, he does genuinely think it's unwarranted. :D

[Yevrah]

And he's basically gaslighting, the disingenuous fuck. It's been the deal with England since time immemorial that if they play like cunts they get stick and if we play even remotely well they get heaped with praise. Look at the last World Cup for all the evidence you need for the latter.

[Baz]

Bellingham has been a right let down.

Or are we just blaming Southgate for everything?

[randomlegend]

Bellingham has been a right let down.

Or are we just blaming Southgate for everything?

Literally every player bar none looks complete shit compared to how they perform for their clubs. It is the manager.

[Waffdon]

Shame Serbia didn’t score against England. Everyone would have been on same points and GF/GA. Presume England would have still managed to final top though, the weapons

[niko_cee]

They are playing with no confidence. It affects different players differently. Kyle Walker, no difference, he barely thinks anyway. Alexander-Arnold may as well not be there, he looks terrified, and the difference is at his club he had a coach who had total confidence in him, whereas, as Walker said, here you are worried about making a mistake. Bellingham just looks pissed off most of the time and seems to be edging towards getting sent off for nothing at a crucial moment if he keeps leaving bits on opponents.

[Jimmy Floyd]

England defender John Stones, speaking to BBC Radio 5 Live: "Super pleased to top the group, it is what we came here to do in the first phase of the tournament. Super proud of the team for getting another clean sheet which is always important in tournament football.

They have to be taking the piss surely.

[Yevrah]

When is it Bellingham's turn to talk to the media? Are they deliberately keeping him away from them in line with Niko's comments, which I agree with.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The quotes coming out of Southgate's press conference sound like Jim Jones just days before the big cauldron comes out.

[Pleb]

But guys this is tournament FOOTBALL and there are TOUGH GAMES ahead of us.

[Yevrah]

There does seem to be a pathological level of delusion about their own accomplishments. I'd always assumed that they'd have been just as disappointed as I was with the meek exit in the last World Cup, but put a brave face on in front of the media which I could hardly blame. But no, it seems that they genuinely count that as "having been there before" and it seemingly being evidence of what it takes to win (a tournament).

It's bonkers.

[niko_cee]

It is all a bit People Like Us/Brass Eye.

[randomlegend]

There does seem to be a pathological level of delusion about their own accomplishments. I'd always assumed that they'd have been just as disappointed as I was with the meek exit in the last World Cup, but put a brave face on in front of the media which I could hardly blame. But no, it seems that they genuinely count that as "having been there before" and it seemingly being evidence of what it takes to win (a tournament).

It's bonkers.

It's all the more bewildering when many of them have won the biggest competitions going with their clubs.

[-james-]

Didn't watch the game but I see England are now clear outright favs with the bookies, good stuff.

[Ben]

Didn't watch the game but I see England are now clear outright favs with the bookies, good stuff.

The bookies are never wrong, isn't that right DS

[niko_cee]

I dunno about the environment, which is incidentally clearly being trailed as some sort of excuse for failure, but these are strange times indeed.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think if anything it's a good example of the modern footballer being completely cut off from the real world, one in which people want to enjoy watching their national team at a major tournament.

[Shindig]

What'll be really strange is if it works. :| Our Greece moment.

[Serj]

As far as I can see, one of Belgium, Slovenia, Austria or Turkey will be in the semis :D

:drool: Now watch us get trounced by Turkey.

[Magic]

I think if anything it's a good example of the modern footballer being completely cut off from the real world, one in which people want to enjoy watching their national team at a major tournament.

FoOtBaLl Is A rEsUlTs BuSiNeSs!

[randomlegend]

My nan died last night. Seems unlikely to have been a coincidence.

[Magic]

Sorry to hear RL.

[Yevrah]

What'll be really strange is if it works. :| Our Greece moment.

The difference is that Greece played well and as a result any comparison is disingenuous. Sure they were boring as fuck to watch for the most part, but they had a plan and all of the players knew what their roles were and they executed it very well.

That is not what we are doing, not by a long shot.

In other news, it's also clear as day to me now that we won't be getting Holland in the next round as that would be some sort of spectacle and therefore not going to happen.

[Yevrah]

Condolences RL.

[Adramelch]

Got it off reddit, so take it with a pinch of salt but apparently that's Bellingham's stats from yesterday:

0 shots

0 chances created

0 successful tackles

0 passes completed into attacking third

12% of his passes went forward

22% duels won (worst on the team)

16 times lost possession (most on the team)

One shot and one chance created over 3 euro games.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, that sucks. Sorry to hear RL.

In altogether different news, things are looking up for Trent as he and his partner [?] who is the daughter of Jude Law/Sadie Frost [!] have been named at number 5 on Britain's society couple power rankings by Tatler.


The magazine said: “There’s a new It couple on the London scene: she’s a bleach-blonde, tooth-gemmed model and he’s a striking Liverpool footballer. Forget Victoria Beckham in the Noughties and hold steady for the WAG energy Iris will bring to the sidelines this summer.”

:cab:

[-james-]

The bookies are never wrong, isn't that right DS


My point is that those with a lot of skin in the game think that ease of path to the final > ease on the eye

[randomlegend]

Sorry to hear RL.


Condolences RL.


Yeah, that sucks. Sorry to hear RL.

In altogether different news, things are looking up for Trent as he and his partner [?] who is the daughter of Jude Law/Sadie Frost [!] have been named at number 5 on Britain's society couple power rankings by Tatler.



:cab:

Thanks all.

She had end-stage dementia so it was very much the right time, but it's still sad obviously.

[7om]

Got it off reddit, so take it with a pinch of salt but apparently that's Bellingham's stats from yesterday:

0 shots

0 chances created

0 successful tackles

0 passes completed into attacking third

12% of his passes went forward

22% duels won (worst on the team)

16 times lost possession (most on the team)

One shot and one chance created over 3 euro games.

Wouldn’t be surprised at all if this is true. He mostly passes backwards and when he does pass forward, we lose possession. Aside from his goal, I don’t think I’ve seen him make one meaningful run or dribble attempt. It’s a horror show.

[niko_cee]

Away from the actual football, god who want to think about that, I am particularly enjoying all the trash mag wag stuff that I'm being clickbaited with today. I see Walker's had both his wife and kids and mistress and kids at the games, sort of. :happycry: All going a bit Baden Baden. Probably why Gareth is cutting such a chippy figure in the media, that's the real seethe inducer. Not the terrible football, but straying from the wholesome Team England we're all mates having a good time brand.

[Pepe]

Wouldn’t be surprised at all if this is true. He mostly passes backwards and when he does pass forward, we lose possession. Aside from his goal, I don’t think I’ve seen him make one meaningful run or dribble attempt. It’s a horror show.

His first ~30 minutes in the tournament were quite good. He was working hard, scored a nice goal, and had that good looking volley long-pass. After that? Nothing.