April Football: Men Getting Hit By Football

[Ian]

Even by my own increasingly low standards I really couldn't think of anything first-post-of-the-thread-worthy for this month. City / Arsenal yawning out a draw as City pretend that at some point they're not just going into Tedium Overdrive to win the title again. The Champions League probably being pretty much decided before the quarters are out. All the other main leagues pretty much sewn up already. The FA Cup could be fun unless City boot Chelsea out. From a United perspective we might make a late run for a Champions League spot or may well fall out of the European places altogether. Still impossible to muster any enthusiasm for watching the useless bastards.

So basically I reckon this is all just filler until the blessed relief of international tournament goodness in the summer.

As such, here's a video of a Hibs player twatting a free kick off the heads of two of his team mates, courtesy of Hans Moleman Productions:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/football/68704147

[Shindig]

Well, Gateshead are playing this afternoon as they continue their play-off push. That push will determine whether they enter at the eliminator stage or the semi-finals. Or none if the results really go sideways. Meanwhile, Newcastle's lasses are one win away from promotion to the Championship. They've absolutely smashed it but I have no idea what the level in the Championship is like.

[John Arne]

Emma Hayes shoved and pushed another (male) coach at the weekend, and The Guardian are blaming him :D #woke #hetoo

[Gray Fox]

She's getting ready for USWNT early it seems.

Turned over to that game as City v Arsenal was an embarrassment. I saw no 'male aggression.'

Just a guy happy his team won the cup, with extra meaning because of one of his players actually nearly dying in front of him at the end of normal time. She's got some serious main character syndrome.

[Don]

Turned over to that game as City v Arsenal was an embarrassment. I saw no 'male aggression.'

Jesus, the sway of the wokerati and their media.

[Lofty]

If the roles are reversed at the end of that game he'd already be sacked.

[Gray Fox]

I also see Evertons' finances in the news again.

They're due their next deduction in the coming week, but even so I think they stay up. Even if you take out their tougher games, they still have to play Burnley, Notts Forest, Brentford and Sheffield Utd at home, with Chelsea and Luton away.

If they lost to Burnley it would liven it all up as it would give them an actual chance to survive. We could well have a situation were Notts Forest go down, but then the appeal reduces their point deduction and they stay up.

[Lofty]

What the fuck are Crewe doing.

[Shindig]

Gateshead match postponed due to waterlogged pitch. :D

[Gray Fox]

De Zerbi being lined up by Bayern apparently.

I hope so as I'd like to dodge that bullet.

[niko_cee]

Can't imagine a worse fit, I'd heard he was keen to go to Napoli, which sounds much more, well, not sensible but suitable.

[Luke Emia]

Plus one for not wanting De Zerbi. His teams are far too prone to getting pasted by random mid-table rubbish. It looks like Amorim from the mood music of the news I would maybe be interested in Nagelsmann but I think the biggest difficulty with him is knowing if he actually is a good manager or not.

[John Arne]

Yeah, certainly Amorin over De Zerbi. I don't know much about this Amorin guy, but he has a decent record. The only downside is that he prefers 3 or 5 at the back.

[Kikó]

If de Zerbi was called Jose DeZerberim you'd be all over him.

[Luke Emia]

I'm not sure about the Portuguese either. But, as Alonso has said no and he is probably the outstanding candidate I think it's a real struggle like I said I would most likely plump for Nagelsmann if it was me choosing but you don't know if he is more Tuchel than Klopp at this stage.

[Lewis]

1774883316295942227

The referee wants demoting for getting involved.

[Shindig]

I appreciate that's he's constantly checking his watch.

[Luke Emia]

West Ham need to get Phillips on.

[Luke Emia]

Fuck me Newcastle. Is someone taking the piss by telling me Paul fucking Dummett is still at the club?

[Shindig]

We really should've taken three points from that. One of those games where you really miss Gordon's ability to trip over.

[Ian]

Fuck me Newcastle. Is someone taking the piss by telling me Paul fucking Dummett is still at the club?

I've said this before but between stuff like that and still playing Dan Burn they really feel like when your FM team is nearly read to actually challenge for stuff but you've still got a few of your stalwarts from midtable hanging about.

[niko_cee]

I'll take Bob De Zerbi over some random Portuguese nobody or Julian wearing it for a bet Nagelsman thanks very much.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's not wearing it for a bet, they just have a proud history of those in flashy outfits rising to the top of their field.

[phonics]

He's not wearing it for a bet, they just have a proud history of those in flashy outfits rising to the top of their field.

LSU basketball coach about to take over the game?

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2024/03/29/multimedia/KIM-MULKEY-STYLE-01-hzlj/KIM-MULKEY-STYLE-01-hzlj-mediumSquareAt3X.jpg

[phonics]

I know it's a old man take but I think this new no ballboy rule they've implemented sucks. #NotMyGame

[phonics]

TNT Sports have decided they want to direct this game like a Dutch Arthouse movie and I do not like it.

[Don]

Is this new, yeah? It's fucking hard to get used to but it's a massive improvement, especially if it's high pressing teams and all 20 players are in view.

[Don]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osama_Vinladen

'Personal life' to fully appreciate the dad's work.

[Disco]

Didn't have the balls to finish the trilogy though did he, unless the daughter is called Thatcher or something.

[Baz]

Toni Vlair

[phonics]

Didn't have the balls to finish the trilogy though did he, unless the daughter is called Thatcher or something.

The sister is called Georgia Bush. (Not joking)

edit: The wikipedia has since been edited. I don't think any of this is true.

[Gray Fox]

That's possibly the worst goal Sheffield United will concede this season.

[Ben]

Plenty of contenders.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bald men v combs on sky sports 7.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A bold move by Ten Hag to select no goalkeeper tonight, but innovation is what drives football forward.

[Gray Fox]

Liverpool doing way too much pissing about with it and not running up the score so far. Could really use some goal difference improvements for after the obvious dropped points on Sunday.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Antony is a mong.

[phonics]

What an amazing game. Chelsea can’t play against anyone who puts basic pressure on people. Meanwhile Ten Hags quality is to let them have 8 yards between any opposition player.

[phonics]

That’s not a penalty.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've never known a player that co-comms are as keen to lay into as Antony. He has the perfect combination of being foreign, flashy and ineffectual.

This could end 9-6 either way.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Palmer is so far above anyone else on this pitch. We'll do well not to lose him to Barcelona or whoever you lose players to these days.

[Luke Emia]

That’s not a penalty.

High bar and all that. If it’s not given as a pen then it doesn’t get overturned. Does look soft as shite though.

[Don]

We really need to get Gomez that goal today because I don't want to see anymore of this charity game bullshit.

[Gray Fox]

Come on lads, for fucks sake.

[Danny]

Bruno with the calculated shank into the air knowing Chelsea are idiots.

[randomlegend]

Chelsea are literally - and I mean literally - the only team we've looked better than when we've played them this season.

[Ben]

You'd be winning on xG.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Both teams are just absolutely embarrassingly shite, and have spent about £1.5 billion between them to achieve it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That was quality.

Get fucked Chelsea.

Class by Hojlund to leave it.

[Waffdon]

Pochettino is bloody dreadful but my god Chelsea love an individual howler to give a goal away. Never beat Man U so this will finish 4-4

[Luke Emia]

I know he’s scored but Nunez really showing why he will never be a top, top player here.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I wondered where the left back was as two men arrived unencumbered at the back post, and then I realised the left back was trying to block the cross at right back.

We should have had five though and remember this is a game with literally no consequences for either side, six all, you name it.

[randomlegend]

That was coming. Chelsea are absolutely awful. We are so bad, we fail to control possession against teams in the bottom five, and yet Chelsea are allowing us to do it in their own gaff.

[SvN]

We should have had five though

What? :D

[SvN]

It's somewhat comforting that nearly 20 years later, as we all get older, more wise perhaps, Jim still has an absolute blind spot when it comes to Chelsea v United.

[Kikó]

What a weird team we are.

[Baz]

Palmer is so far above anyone else on this pitch. We'll do well not to lose him to Barcelona or whoever you lose players to these days.

Somehow, Chelsea.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ten clear runs at an empty United backline in the half hour before the hapless Caicedo decided to gift you a goal, a good team would have been 5-0 up. Alas we are not a good team.

[Gray Fox]

Those are the best finishes in football. Only thing missing was the under side of the bar.

[Luke Emia]

What a hit that is.

[Ian]

Somehow, Chelsea.

Big Todd's next FFP wheeze, signing his own players.

Chelsea doctors get confused and perform the operation on Palmer.

[Luke Emia]

We look so much better without Goe Jomez at left back as well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our famous midfield duo have been subterranean in this game. Utterly ghastly, the pair of them.

[Kikó]

This is a ridiculous game of football between two bad teams. It's great.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Disasi making a ridiculously careless pass, gifting Hojlund the ball to run clear on goal, just about scrambling back to touch it behind for a corner, and then giving a massive NFL-style defensive fist pump to celebrate, sums our season up better than anything I can think of.

[niko_cee]

MacAllister has been a superb signing. Worth every one of the bonuses Brighton are banking on in their latest set of accounts.

[Waffdon]

Two utterly clueless tacticians on show tonight.

[Shindig]

Game recognise game.

[Baz]

mac allister is phenomenal. Amusing he had his best game so far against his former team too. What a man, fitted in perfectly since day 1. Makes me feel daft bumming Szobozslai early doors when the real gem was hiding in plain sight.

Nunez is 100% horse shit though. League would be sewn up already with Chris Wood up top.

[phonics]

Did they just describe Cucurella v Anthony as ‘a good race’

[randomlegend]

What a goal that is.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That pass :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Badiashile is a rare and special player, because his name starts with a review of his performances. Don't get many of them in the English top flight. Danny Shittu was the last.

[Kikó]

Favella reds 😍

[Don]

Antony securing the start for Sunday :drool:

[Waffdon]

Surely now he finally goes.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Surely now he finally goes.

They'll only replace him with some similar goon who you'll also want sacked within 5 games. Doesn't matter who the coach is with this bunch of guileless children. Without Palmer we'd be 15th tops.

[Kikó]

You have a load of players who can't do the basics. I'm not sure you can place that all on the manager.

[phonics]

You have a load of players who can't do the basics. I'm not sure you can place that all on the manager.

That’s harsh. Gusto looks like a top central midfielder.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A mate's dad who is a season ticket holder and wise old head says that the club only has two 'footballers', in the old-fashioned sense - Palmer and Thiago Silva, who is 40. The others play football but are not footballers. I think it's quite a good way of seeing it.

This game a great example, you go 2-0 up, what do you do, just blunder your way into gifting them a way back in because you can't concentrate. If they sell Gallagher in the summer, as they are clearly desperate to for book-keeping reasons, it'll be time to give up.

[Luke Emia]

Antony vs Cucurella is like a battle for the ages.

[Shindig]

Can I interest you in paying over the odds for Sensible Sean Longstaff?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Dalot you absolute fucking mong.

[Shindig]

What you lads need is a sensible left-back like Paul Dumett.

[randomlegend]

I don't think that one is a penalty either to be honest.

[Waffdon]

Chelsea have had a ridiculous amount of penalties. Still 12th lol

[Gray Fox]

I'm not sure he at any point touched him. Maybe brushed him with an arm?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We're so fucking shit.

[-james-]

:harold:

[Gray Fox]

That's some collapse.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hahahahahaha.

It was only going one way from the moment Sir Dave Brailsford and his team's Character was mentioned in the 97th minute.

[randomlegend]

:D

Amazing.

[Luke Emia]

How many pens have Chelsea had this season?

Plus that’s fucking hilarious.

[Shindig]

Hey, he got one from open play. Good lad.

[Ian]

What a team we are. :cool:

[Waffdon]

Lololololol

[Don]

I'm lolling my tits off. Just as the Utd lot were starting to post again with their ice melting too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm no Waff but Poch has some cheek giving it large on the side. There were no winners in that game. Two appalling sides who don't have a clue what they're doing or why they exist.

[Baz]

Love it.

Palmer, man. What a boy.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Small time club celebrating a win over a wank team like they've won the league.

[Don]

Bookmark this hot take but Palmer is overrated shite.

[Gray Fox]

https://i.gyazo.com/1abd18a140cd97a184e5d2de442248d4.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bookmark this hot take but Palmer is overrated shite.

I mean, he's probably not as good as Lionel Messi if that's the bar to be 'shite'. He's currently like Grealish was at Villa, absolutely magic at the head of a shite team, that'll do me.

[phonics]

I turned it off at 91 minutes assuming the game was done :(

[Don]

The Golbridge reaction videos are decent. Proper Utd gimp :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Absolutely not having the we woz robbed stuff from United fans. It was a random score generator of a game, result immaterial and has no bearing on either side's prospects this season or long-term outlook. Just a candy floss sideshow.

Ref was brilliant btw. Could have booked players so many times but rightly didn't. Pens were both pens.

[Lewis]

That first Chelsea penalty was such an obvious dive. This season has been toilet other than the last part of that Liverpool game. I can't see how baldy keeps his job even with an unlikely FA Cup win.

[Waffdon]

Bookmark this hot take but Palmer is overrated shite.

He’s a couple goals against a dreadful Sheff Utd side on Sunday away from being joint top scorer in the league lmao. Have some shame

[Don]

Deduct penalties and he's matching Carlton Morris. As I say, it's a slow-burner this one but we can return to it in a year or two.

[niko_cee]

He’s a couple goals against a dreadful Sheff Utd side on Sunday away from being joint top scorer in the league lmao. Have some shame

Sheff Utd to win to nil then.

[niko_cee]

Deduct penalties and he's matching Carlton Morris.

Half of his goals are penalties as well.

Still, 8 pens is some going.

[niko_cee]

I found this stat slightly mind blowing:


It cost former Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich about £900,000 a week for 19 years in terms of interest-free loans to cover the club's losses," Maguire said.

From this (https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/68713522).

[Kikó]

I'm no Waff but Poch has some cheek giving it large on the side. There were no winners in that game. Two appalling sides who don't have a clue what they're doing or why they exist.

100%.

Another game of 30 shots+ conceded for us. Liverpool should really get double figures on Sunday.

This is easily the worst season supporting United I've had to watch. Absolutely dreadful.

[Ben]

This is easily the worst season supporting United I've had to watch. Absolutely dreadful.

An evergreen statement if ever there was one. I've seen this every year since Moyes.

[Kikó]

I'd rank it
1.Moyes
2. This season
3. Van gaal season 2

[Kikó]

Could potentially include the half season combustion from Jose and Ole or the abortion from Wreck it Ralph.

[Waffdon]

Half of his goals are penalties as well.

Still, 8 pens is some going.

Penalties aren’t goals of course.

He will get a fair few more this season as well as Mudryk/Madueke/Sterling all specialise in one thing and that is drawing fouls. £200m well spent

[Lofty]

1775401496613437697

[Baz]

That is brilliant.

[Ian]

The Dube. :cool:

[Kikó]

These blue accounts stealing other people's content.

[Don]

This Wharton lad is England's midfield solution. Quansah-Branthwaite CB, Mainoo-Wharton CM.

If I was a woke waistcoat wanker Id bring it home.

[randomlegend]

United have just beaten Liverpool 9-1 in the u18s, which everyone has agreed is the most important competition.

[SincereTheRebel]

Since Ait-Nouri has been shifted from LB to CM somewhere for Wolves. Its like im watching Iniesta out here

[Waffdon]

He’s similar to Kovacic in that they’re both randomly incredible when it comes to technique with their dribbling. Not a huge amount other than that.

[Gray Fox]

A lot of bottling going on at the top of the Championship today.

If Premier League results stand, Luton and Burnley are being cut adrift.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It seems a fairly faint prospect but I'd really like Coventry to go up. I'm pleased for David Wagner who randomly seems to have turned (back) into Helenio Herrera, but still, bugger Norwich.

[Gray Fox]

In the as it stands table we have Leeds, Southampton, WBA and Norwich set for play offs. Coventry would be infinitely better than any of those lot.

[Gray Fox]

Bayern have also warmed up for Arsenal in excellent Tuchel fashion.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Wolves, West Ham and Newcastle all drawing, Bournemouth shipping an equaliser at Kenilworth Road, could all be crucial in the race for 8th place. God I need the cricket season.

[SincereTheRebel]

Ward Prowes has scored direct from a corner. 2-1 West Ham

[Waffdon]

Wolves, West Ham and Newcastle all drawing, Bournemouth shipping an equaliser at Kenilworth Road, could all be crucial in the race for 8th place. God I need the cricket season.

Did laugh at wolves going from 7th to 12th West Ham’s equaliser

7th would be good but won’t happen. Should get EL for whoever finishes there. Losing twice to wolves and losing to West Ham not helping things

[Jimmy Floyd]

8th will get Conference League won't it? That's more our level if anything is (it isn't).

[Shindig]

Now comes my favourite part of the weekend: Seeing how low BBC punters have rated Sean Longstaff when the rest of the squad are getting 7+.

[wullie]

Battered Leeds 2-1 today and even gifted them 70% possession to try and make it competitive. West Brom dropping a two goal lead at Stoke makes them suddenly in reach as well as Norwich, but we've got a shitty run so I don't see playoffs this year. I can't afford to keep going to Wembley anyway, we made it twice in 130 years and now we can't stay away from the place.

[Ben]

It’s a shame we went ten or so without winning to start the season because suddenly we look like finishing within reach of Norwich.

[Ian]

Battered Leeds 2-1 today and even gifted them 70% possession to try and make it competitive. West Brom dropping a two goal lead at Stoke makes them suddenly in reach as well as Norwich, but we've got a shitty run so I don't see playoffs this year. I can't afford to keep going to Wembley anyway, we made it twice in 130 years and now we can't stay away from the place.

Have you got tickets for the semi?

[wullie]

Yep, it was open to season ticket holders only for a week so got sorted in plenty of time. Unlike the playoff final it was one per person so no big rush thankfully

[niko_cee]

Why are the Sunday kickoff times all over the shop?

[Waffdon]

Sheffield marathon or something so game got moved back. Sky then binned it off in favour of spurs game as they game couldn’t be played on MNF

[Gray Fox]

The standard in this Old Firm game has been crap but the drama is still good.

[Gray Fox]

Good to see Endo back in, but the wisdom of starting Quansah today and Konate against Sheffield is to be questioned.

Our right side did not enjoy this game the other week and to present the exact same one is a bit of a gamble. These ones are always nervy after your rivals have coped with tricky away games very easily yesterday.

A big thing today should be you know what to expect. United did the same thing against us and City. Started very brightly but faded quite quickly. Only we pissed about on the ball before getting several goals clear, twice. It's also been very windy around me since this time yesterday so if it's the same up there it could be tricky conditions. Score one more than you could be the way to approach this.

[Bernanke]

Ajax. :D

[Lewis]

I thought United kicked off at half-two so went shopping to miss the first half. I'll take it as a sign. 6-0 United.

[Ian]

We've had our one good Liverpool / United game for the decade so it'll be a very routine Liverpool win here.

[Ian]

Former England boss (briefly) Sam Allardyce is here.

He just had a friendly welcome from Manchester United director Sir Dave Brailsford.

Big Sam IN.

[Kikó]

I'll be impressed if we keep it less than 3.

[Lewis]

Dave 'Sir Dave Brailsford' Brailsford strikes me as a Clive 'Sir Clive Woodward' Woodward-like figure, that of a reasonably talented man lucking into an exceptional set up and taking all the credit for its success. I would love to read his review of the club. I imagine it being like when the government got Philip Green to review not very good procurement and he came back with a short PowerPoint saying procurement wasn't very good.

[Lewis]

Does Onana have hands in his gloves?

[Gray Fox]

He's got some vaseline in there.

We need to be 2-0 by HT here.

[Kikó]

Why? We're shite

[Waffdon]

Fernandes’ passing has been hilariously bad

[Guybrush]

Should be out of sight already here.

[Clunge]

Fernandes is complete shite. Laughably so. He's spent the entire half either, A. squandering possession, or B. finding someone to bicker at.

[Gray Fox]

Why? We're shite

Because we did exact thing 2/3 weeks ago and gave sloppy goals away.

This has been quite frustrating.

[Kikó]

He's completely off the boil but the whole system doesn't work. A shot every 3 minutes or something? It's ridiculously bad.

[Kikó]

Because we did exact thing 2/3 weeks ago and gave sloppy goals away.

This has been quite frustrating.

Yeah but we're shite and you're not going to make the same mistake again.

[Luke Emia]

This is at the minute one of them games where you need Jota. One of those chances fall to him and he scores

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:drool:

He's shit is he?!?!?!?

[Waffdon]

Jesus Christ he’s made up for it

[Gray Fox]

Yeah but we're shite and you're not going to make the same mistake again.

...

[Ian]

:D

[Danny]

His passing has been an absolute war crime lately but thats a lovely finish.

[Kikó]

Lol. Still

[Waffdon]

Nunez is just a mong at this point :lol:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That was incredible.

He's got no brain.

[Luke Emia]

That chance for Nunez fuck me.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

A Garnacho 95th minute winner or, even better, Antony getting said winner off the bench.

[Gray Fox]

It's not even like we can put Gakpo on. We need a goal ffs.

[Kikó]

You'll be fine

[Ben]

Here he comes. :cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mainoo :drool:

What a fucking player.

Absolute star.

[Ian]

So undeserved. :D

[Lewis]

97th minute winner, reveals his new Star of David tattoo.

[Waffdon]

Beautiful

[Ben]

Teeth is fuming. :D

[Kikó]

This is turning FM off and restarting territory.

[Ian]

We still ain't winning with this turnstile of a defence. Fun to give them a wobble though.

[Waffdon]

Not even a foul never mind a yellow

[Lewis]

That was a great tackle.

[Danny]

This is turning FM off and restarting territory.


And giving Mainoo 1’s in all stats

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Aaron Wan BisSPACKER.

No need to be diving there.

[Lewis]

Jesus that's match-fixing levels of stupid.

[Ian]

Here it comes.

[Waffdon]

Onana trying to save penalties is a painful watch. Makes it so obvious where he’s going every time

[Ben]

Mount for Mainoo? Is Baldy trying to throw this?

[Gray Fox]

Makes no sense to accept the draw here. All out attack and let there be a goal one way or another.

[Danny]

Onana trying to save penalties is a painful watch. Makes it so obvious where he’s going every time

Feel like he is sent the wrong way everytime. Its madness. We somehow signed a keeper worse than DDG on pens.

[Waffdon]

Sky really need to stop letting Neville and Carragher commentate on these two. It’s embarrassing to listen to

[Jimmy Floyd]

I keep forgetting Steve McClaren is on the United staff, and so lol every time I see him barking from the technical area.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mount for Mainoo? Is Baldy trying to throw this?

Just sticking to the plan.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Arsenal now in control of their own destiny, start the music please.

[Ian]

Oh well, an unexpected point will do.

[Lewis]

Was it 2018/19 when Ole Gunnar Binman scammed that 0-0 and cost them the title? Basically a trophy if that happens again.

[Gray Fox]

Arsenal racking up the goals is going to pay serious dividends at the end of the season. When they sneak second above us.

[Luke Emia]

Only getting 2 points off United is what probably costs the league looking at it logically. City dispatched them for 6 points and I would fancy Arsenal to get the win whenever they play them.

As was said earlier playing Konate Thursday night doesn’t really make a huge amount of sense and this was probably the day for Goe Jomez at right back as well for that bit of experience.

[Dark Soldier]

We were fantastic. Warriors to a tee. Liverpool got exceptionally lucky there, Elliott the flop-haired gimpboy with a blatant dive.

Looking forward to Klopp leaving and the stories coming out about him having peepholes in the showers the weird toothy twat.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Villa (H)
Wolves (A)
Chelsea (H)
Tottenham (A)
Bournemouth (H)
Man U (A)
Everton (H)

This is what stands between Arsenal and the title that is morally and rightfully theirs. I reckon they have, what, a 0% chance? Might win two from seven if it goes well.

[Lofty]

Also got Bayern twice and Kane will be out to kick people no doubt.

[Gray Fox]

Of the 3 teams, I only see one winning all of their remaining games and they don't wear red.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is the first time I've seen Mainoo interviewed, you can tell he's the real thing. How long will it take Gareth to adapt, three years?

[Lewis]

How come I can't find an official (Sky, whoever else) highlights package of today's Scottish match on YouTube half a day after the event? Even Super League gets highlights out within hours now, but these plebs can't seem to manage it.

[Waffdon]

Chelsea’s defending and goalkeeping is something else. Have they had a clean sheet in 2024?

[Waffdon]

Bloody hell, Pochettino is absolutely clueless. That’ll be him done in football once he’s eventually sacked in the summer

[Jimmy Floyd]

That bloke Romero must be the most overrated player in the history of football. If he wasn't an Argie and have the hard men defending aura around him, he'd be playing for Runcorn. Just completely rash in everything he does and costs them dearly time after time after time.

[Baz]

I see Chris Wood has scored again, while Darwin continues to miss sitters.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Chris Wood :lol:

[Kikó]

Chelsea could be 6th in a game or two. Not bad considering waff thinks Poch is a bin man.

[Waffdon]

The league is utter shite. West Ham and Man Utd fans have been calling for their manager to be sacked all year and they’ve been in 6th and 7th all year round

[Ben]

Yep. Considering the amount of money in the league it’s the absolute pits. It seems every team sets up to play to THE DATA but it appears that data is gleaned from the top 2-3 teams so when you have inferior footballers trying the same shit they’re just sabotaging themselves at every turn.

[-james-]

#somehowaboutdata

[Waffdon]

Dropping points to two of the worst sides in recent memory in back to back weekends. Doing a good job though is old Pochettino.

Not even an attacker on the pitch

[Waffdon]

Won 4, drawn 4 and lost 4 to the bottom 6 sides.

:sick:

[Jimmy Floyd]

I spent months last year telling you they should have stuck with Potter, yet you wanted him out with the relentless aggression of a data-driven press. It's your fault.

[Lofty]

Out of interest, who do you two want in?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1776926133218390127

3 match ban please.

[Lofty]

VAR checked Bruno Guimaeres decking Jorghinho in the back of the head off the ball and said it was fine so feigning injury is fair play too.

[Waffdon]

Out of interest, who do you two want in?

A manager who can set a team up to create more than 0.5XG against a defence who have conceded 80+ goals for starters

[Jimmy Floyd]

Out of interest, who do you two want in?

Gary O'Neil

[Spoonsky]

This is the first time I've seen Mainoo interviewed, you can tell he's the real thing. How long will it take Gareth to adapt, three years?

He’s brilliant. Finish gave me flashbacks to Federico Macheda making me cry as a 12 year old.

United home and away, Arsenal at home, City home all games we should be winning with better finishing. Moop.

[niko_cee]

4.4 plays 0.8 on xG. Christ knows what the stats on the other games have been but to not beat United once in three attempts given how the games have gone is a bit mind (or league) bottling.

Should still be fine unless City win out.

On the league is shite front, I don't think that's the case, it's just that the league has, broadly, adopted modern pepball football which makes most non-exceptional teams look hopeless much of the time. Not many decent low blocks out there anymore, which suits Arsenal's defensively solid and wait for the other team to make a mistake approach.

[Luke Emia]

I think Peps first two title winning teams would steamroll the three teams at the top of the table this year. All of them have flaws it’s just who has the least.

[niko_cee]

Fenerbache seem to be on one in Turkey at the moment.

[SincereTheRebel]

Gary O'Neil

Dont blame ya

[SincereTheRebel]

Mainoo reminds me of Jack Wilshere when he first turned up the more i see him play. Will he stay away from the nose sugar or whatever the the youth use these days to get their groove on.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Nitrous oxide, no?

So many of the little silver canisters laying in the street these days.

[Kikó]

HIPPY CRACK.

Chill out grandad.

[Baz]

Nitrous oxide, no?
They've all moved on to ketamine round here, since they made nitrous illegal.

[Lofty]

It's cocaine more than ever, insane how much they do now and how rife it is. I know a few younger lads who do it and they happily admit they pull birds and then have the old drug droop so nothing happens, just blows my mind: why waste all the effort trying to pull if you know you're not going to be able to do the deed anyway?

I blame TikTok.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Isn't cocaine expensive? I assumed it was since city boys love it.

[Ben]

It's probably the one thing that hasn't been hit by inflation.

[Baz]

Isn't cocaine expensive? I assumed it was since city boys love it.

Three to five times the price of ket in the north west, generally. Although I suppose it doesn’t make you piss blood, so worth the extra.

[phonics]

Sorry to veer off topic but I've just seen that Bruno goal and it's very funny.

[-james-]

Three to five times the price of ket in the north west, generally. Although I suppose it doesn’t make you piss blood, so worth the extra.

You have to be a very committed space cadet to end up doing yourself any harm from ket, whereas coke can make your heart stop beating.

[phonics]

Another 2 points off Everton.

[phonics]

Top stat

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GKoas8YX0AAjaj5.png

[Don]

It's probably the one thing that hasn't been hit by inflation.

Very peculiar, this stability, in a free market with no regulation and far higher associated risks. If only the corporate world had the same level of integrity and honesty as Pablo and Co.

[phonics]

The inflation has come that the stuff now is absolutely stepped on and cut with a load more shit. Purity has dropped massively. Guess you could call it shrinkflation.

[Don]

No, I'm pretty sure purity has actually improved over recent years. These mans know they operate a crucial service for their fellow peers, give them suits and a seat at the roundtable though and watch their humanity dissipate like the rest of them.

[Adramelch]

Is that xPurity?

[randomlegend]

Did you see the score yesterday Taz?

[Don]

I did bro, file it away with the 0-0 victory, Ten Hag is cooking.

[randomlegend]

I did bro, file it away with the 0-0 victory, Ten Hag is cooking.

https://i.imgflip.com/8m0y23.jpg

[Don]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GKpeAiPXQAAA7yF.jpg:large

[Lewis]

I didn't realise just how mid-table it all was below fifth until today.

[Shindig]

Aye, it's a right mush. If Everton had their points back they'd only get to 14th.

[Lewis]

Everton were doing reasonably well before the first points deduction, so they could easily seethe the next thirty years away blaming it for wrecking their form if this second round does it.

[Shindig]

I mean, they've at least got another year of point deductions given how their financials are fucked.

[randomlegend]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GKpeAiPXQAAA7yF.jpg:large

https://i.imgur.com/gDllioG.png

[Lewis]

:lol: