April Football: Men Getting Hit By Football

[Waffdon]

This set piece coach is something else.

[Waffdon]

Man City can’t even draw a game at this point. Arsenal GD is monstrous

[niko_cee]

Spurs' defending for both those corner goals has been horrific.

[Manc]

This set piece coach is something else.

Modern football discourse summed up in one sentence.

[phonics]

Ben White trying to unstrap Vicarios glove before the corner is excellent marginal gains shithousery.

[niko_cee]

:D

Yeah, I noticed that too.

[niko_cee]

Man City can’t even draw a game at this point. Arsenal GD is monstrous

Looking at their games you'd have to think that Spurs away is the only one which will present even a remote risk of them not winning, and looking at Spurs that seems a bit of a stretch in itself, particularly as their fans will likely be baying for them to lose.

[Waffdon]

Yeah, spurs season could well be over by then anyway. Chelsea and Liverpool away next which they never win at

[niko_cee]

After today City have a seamless run in against on the beach teams, so it's all on the mad Greek and some VAR karma to get the job done.

[Waffdon]

Romero :D

Why was he even up there

[niko_cee]

Another Spurs goal would spice this up but it's hard to see Angeball not leading to a catastrophic breakaway goal for Arsenal at some point.

[phonics]

I remember when Xhaka was sent off for that Kulusevski foul. Peak Mike Dean moment that.

[niko_cee]

How is that not a penalty? It's literally right on front of the div as well.

[Waffdon]

Oliver is fucking awful

[phonics]

Hows this got close. That Raya fuck up is such a disgrace.

[niko_cee]

:D

What is Neville on?

[niko_cee]

Ball will be in play for about 30 seconds for the remainder of the game now.

[phonics]

Was that one of the worst 3-2's ever?

Absolutely zero quality outside of that Havertz pass for the 2nd.

[Serj]

Oliver pointing at his watch when Arsenal were lying around during stoppage time only to blow the whistle exactly at the end of it :D Not that I think Spurs would have gotten anything out of it, but a bit of a clown show.

[phonics]

I didn't know there was another game going on but having seen the BBC Sport homepage, is De Zerbi on fraud watch?

[Gray Fox]

I think its a combination of nothing to play for and they know he's likely off in the summer.

[niko_cee]

Brighton have been absolutely ballbagged by injuries this year, but the wheels have certainly come off in the last few months.

[phonics]

Seems that the plan has been the same for 2 years and if it doesn't work then they get hammered.

[niko_cee]

Does that count as something Nunez would have scored?

[phonics]

If it’s the same chance I’m thinking of then it’s exactly when I turned off.

[niko_cee]

Not a good day for the chances that Chris Wood Score statnalysis.

[niko_cee]

This is the sort of game that's absolutely sickening when you end up getting pipped by a point or two at the end of the season.

[Waffdon]

Sky are obsessed with Haaland’s dad

[phonics]

The Spurs fans are claiming there's a corrupt conspiracy behind the loss and it's more entertaining than the match.

1784596360475320780

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[niko_cee]

Surely there's only a conspiracy if the VAR gives it the old check complete good process lads.

Spurs beating City would be beyond amazing.

[Lewis]

'InvertTheWing' seems like a proper freak.

[phonics]

Surely there's only a conspiracy if the VAR gives it the old check complete good process lads.

Spurs beating City would be beyond amazing.

Quite, they're 3 points better off due to the most incompetent call in years and moaning because they got a penalty 15 seconds later than they should have.

[niko_cee]

Not even a Spurs fan apparently, which makes that quite a trip off the deep end.

[phonics]

Not even a Spurs fan apparently, which makes that quite a trip off the deep end.

https://i.imgur.com/Tj0005S.png

You'd think he'd have an issue with conceding two awful set pieces if this was the case.

[Shindig]

I'm sure that B license really enhances his Football Manager saves.

[phonics]

Its the thing, I can't particularly hold it against actual fans because if I was on the opposite end of this my head would be on Mars as well.

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[Ben]

xG lol.

[Shindig]

I can't take that stat seriously. It's like when teams (such as Spurs last weekend) have all of the ball but no return from it. To me, xG is just 'chances missed'. You can expect a chance you don't take. Anyway, for a potential Plan B to see where City might drop points, West Ham?

[Gray Fox]

Spurs should be out of the top 4 race by the time of the game and will have zero incentive to help Arsenal out. Wolves are having to field people from the local park, Fulham are clearly on the beach and West 'am are openly meeting with new managers to replace Moyes, so like fuck is he going to want to help them out.

I think this was their most losable game and they've come through it fine unfortunately. Arsenal losing 1 league game in 2024 and pumping goal difference for fun still not being enough shows the scale of the task everyone has.

[Shindig]

Spurs should be out of the top 4 race by the time of the game and will have zero incentive to help Arsenal out.

The incentive is making sure they don't completely shit the bed and finish 7th. Although they've got Sheffield on the last day which might as well be a bye.

[Waffdon]

Arsenal chucked it away over the Christmas period

[Yevrah]

If they do win this season it'll be 6 years out of the last 7 and the first time a team has won four in a row in the history of English football. The one they didn't win, Liverpool got 99 points. It's a level of dominance we haven't ever seen before and it's simply not going to stop while Pep's in charge.

[phonics]

I think the whole on the beach thing is a bit bygone era. The mindset to get to a first XI these days requires you to be such a lunatic that I don't think there's anywhere near as many players that will accept losing because it doesn't matter. 90% of these players aren't that much better technically than their lower league counterparts. It's mentality.

[phonics]

Arsenal chucked it away over the Christmas period
Current point difference between Arsenal and Chelsea over the last two years would finish 3rd this year. Pipe down.

[niko_cee]

You need at least 90 points to beat Pep era City, so if Arsenal manage it with 89 they'll have had a slice of good fortune on that front.

Whatever the outcome they need to carry the momentum of this season forward as they really need to be winning the league next year before the whole thing falls apart, as will typically tend to happen when you put the required level of stress to win a league on a non-FM tier, two £40m players for every position, type of squad. Can they keep the core of a squad almost entirely injury free for another complete season?

[Gray Fox]

If they do win this season it'll be 6 years out of the last 7 and the first time a team has won four in a row in the history of English football. The one they didn't win, Liverpool got 99 points. It's a level of dominance we haven't ever seen before and it's simply not going to stop while Pep's in charge.

Indeed. We will find out what punishment they(wont) get for the way they assembled this team but his coaching is second to none. The Liverpool team of 2018-22 was frankly fucking outrageous. The level of football and fitness obscene. The one off season they still even came third with Nat Philips and Rhys Williams at CB. Yet even that team only did for them once.

He is also the reason I'm hoping for more progressive football out of Arne Slot. Klopp has done extremely well in getting more of a tune out of some players than maybe anyone else would, but this is now the 3rd season in 4 where I think his methods prove to be a double edged sword. How many times do you see Liverpool having to fight to the final whistle to get a win. Even Arsenal are similar but have the players in midfield to mix it up more on the ball. That wears you down over the season(s) and causes what you get now from us.

I think the perfect showcase of superior methods was that week United played us both maybe 2 seasons ago. We went there and won 5-0 with all of the pressing etc you'd expect of us. Ended up with losing I think 2 players from injury in that game. City turned up a week later, got 2-0 up and went energy preservation and passed the ball about themselves for ages.

[Yevrah]

I'm not even sure Pep is a better manager than Klopp, but the resources are ludicrously stacked in his favour and he's clearly good enough to take full advantage of that.

[phonics]

The entire projects over when some caveman inevitably breaks Odegaards leg. Think Taz' hate for the guy has to be his worst take.

[phonics]

In other news I think this is such a perfect indicator of how fucked 'the discourse' is when you've got people pretending to have opposing opinions to farm engagement for money.

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[Jimmy Floyd]

Jesus, that must be horrendous for the brand.

[igor_balis]

In other news I think this is such a perfect indicator of how fucked 'the discourse' is when you've got people pretending to have opposing opinions to farm engagement for money.

1784625157929058523

Why do people like that weirdo, sometimes he comes up in my YouTube shorts and I'm always baffled. With some of the loud shouty morons you just accept they have a young audience and it's cus children are stupid, but he obviously hasn't even got that going for him.

[Luke Emia]

If they do win this season it'll be 6 years out of the last 7 and the first time a team has won four in a row in the history of English football. The one they didn't win, Liverpool got 99 points. It's a level of dominance we haven't ever seen before and it's simply not going to stop while Pep's in charge.

Even if he goes though the base is there.

I’m not a conspiracy theorist but we can all see that they have cheated their way through FFP and even now I struggle to see how a club who routinely can’t sell out their stadium can make more in commercial revenue than United. Even if it isn’t still ongoing the only way they have got to where they are is by breaking the rules for several years in the first place.

By doing that they have been able to basically write off £50 million players if they haven’t worked out. No one else in the league can do that, Liverpool needed basically every transfer to come off for 3 summers to challenge them as well as a top class manager. Arsenal the same, City don’t have that same issue spend £50 million on a defender like Cancelo and Pep doesn’t like him anymore fine bomb him out.

The thought of a luxury tax which you have to pay if you exceed the caps rather than points deductions will just play into their hands further. Ditto Newcastle the league is only going one way and all this shite about the league being the most competitive in the world will start to wear off once it becomes obvious it’s turning into the German or French league.

[niko_cee]

City will come back to the field once Pep goes.

His coaching elevates the baked in advantage money gives them to another level. That their major money rivals, United and Chelsea, have been run by absolute spastics over the same period has obviously helped, but both Pep, and rival incompetence won't last forever.

[Lewis]

I think any reasonably good manager could win the league with the current City squad/set-up. They should really have won at least one more Champions' League out of the last few as well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Losing that one to Tuchel's Chelsea was embarrassing. Didn't lay a glove on us in the game either.

[Waffdon]

That champions league run was utterly dominant. Kante with the highest peak you can get in football without being involved in goals against Atletico, Real and City

[Luke Emia]

Thiago Silva is leaving Chelsea.

Who is Waff going to blame when Pochettino gets the sack, Silva is gone and they are still dogshit?

[niko_cee]

Not sure Waff will be blaming anyone when Smallpockets gets the bullet, he'll be too busy parading through the streets of Dundee like a modern day Lady Godiva.

[Gray Fox]

I see Amorim is flapping. If word is to be believed, once Alonso ruled himself out of the Liverpool job he saw himself as our only option. He then upped his price significantly(he wanted huge wages and a big signing bonus). Liverpool then backed off, as it would have cost them some £30m or so to get him and his staff in. He's then very publicly gone and flown over for talks with West 'am to try and get us to budge but we haven't.

We've opted for Arne Slot and his staff who are costing well below £10m to bring in. Amorim is now having to go and plead forgiveness from Sporting and could end up out of a job there because of it too.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I never see the point of that kind of greed (unless he's a Mendes client and Mendes didn't want him at Liverpool for political reasons). Once you've been Liverpool manager then even if you are a disaster and get sacked in October, the worst case scenario is you can live off it for a decade and earn £ managing in the UAE or wherever.

[Adramelch]

The last bit does sound a bit farfetched though. I get that tensions might be higher than usual, but he got them their first league title in 20-odd years and is well on course for a second one.

[niko_cee]

Definitely sounds like a pro-Liverpool spin on whatever has gone on.

Couldn't blame him for trying to manouevre into a Potter-esque retirement situation when it all inevitably blows up in his [or now Arne's] face.

[Waffdon]

Why would be let go from sporting even be a big issue? Surely he’d have more option open up with a release clause being triggered

[wullie]

I'm counting on Amorim going somewhere with more money than sense and insisting they break the bank to take Gyokeres with him, the sell-on will fund us for the next two years.

[Waffdon]

I can see Arsenal buying him for 65-70m

[John Arne]

If anyone is bored, this is a good game... a looks like it could kick off later on.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apvzQV5dPBY

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/cpegd3dy8j7o

Going all American.

[niko_cee]

Five times the lowest amount of TV revenue doesn't sound like a particularly 'sustainable' model although I suppose it is better than something tethered to individual revenues.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/ce96wzkgzpgo

Who would want that shite?

[Shindig]

Would Leicester want Maguire back? We wanted Rashford a couple of seasons' back but I'm glad we stayed away. To be honest, our midfield is set.

Sancho's doing alright at Dortmund, isn't he? McTominay's probably going to find a buyer, too.

[niko_cee]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/ce96wzkgzpgo

Who would want that shite?

At least they've got competent people running the football side of things for the first time in a generation.

[Gray Fox]

Definitely sounds like a pro-Liverpool spin on whatever has gone on.

Couldn't blame him for trying to manouevre into a Potter-esque retirement situation when it all inevitably blows up in his [or now Arne's] face.

Almost certainly is some spinning going on. That's also the first time I've remembered of Potter for a while. Has he really just sat at home since the Chelsea gig fell through?


I'm counting on Amorim going somewhere with more money than sense and insisting they break the bank to take Gyokeres with him, the sell-on will fund us for the next two years.

Have Cov managed the classic FM tactic of tacking 50% of next sale on? Because he could fetch you a pretty penny, even if it's a more realistic 10-20%

[wullie]

15%, reducing to 10% if the 4m additional payment has already been triggered


https://i.imgur.com/VMntIWM.png


Get him sold now Sporting, I want a new midfield

[Don]

Big tasty match here. Mon the Tucheliban.

[Lewis]

'It's a setting fit for the very best.'
*pans across Eric Dier*

[Adramelch]

Classic Real Madrid that.

[Lewis]

You don't really see goals like that much now.

[Ben]

TNT not putting this on their 4K channel is lazy as fuck.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Oh dear Lunin.

[Don]

Sane really has been eternally disrespected, that is outrageous.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lucas Vazquez :harold:

[Serj]

Oh dear Lunin.

Not sure he can do a lot about that, I'd say Mendy shouldn't have let Sané cut inside so easily.

[Adramelch]

I genuinely can't stand McManaman and I think I've only watched about 3 matches with him on commentary.

[Don]

I genuinely can't stand McManaman and I think I've only watched about 3 matches with him on commentary.

Clive Tyldesley is on CBS, fix up.

[Adramelch]

I'm just watching the first reliable stream I've found to be honest and I can't be bothered looking for another one.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Kim Min-Jae has been so fucking bad today.

[Adramelch]

Everything Real have done in this match is down to him.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He's trying his very best to make the Eric Dier transfer look decent.

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/cge8145yy1eo

That's a nightmare. Does whaling out on a mobile game count as a betting breach? There's your loophole, Sandro.

[Waffdon]

A new record for Pochettino and the medical staff. 14 players on the ‘injury report’ surpassing the previous total of 12. The lowest was 6 against Liverpool first game of the season.

[Adramelch]

Deserved that, Dortmund have been the better team so far.

[niko_cee]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/cz74jgj8ej1o

:happycry:

Someone get the transfer thread up and running. I know those squad/player value things have always been wonky but some of that is absolutely batshit. Would love to know what they've been smoking at the CEIS Football Observatory.

[Yevrah]

£63m for Antony is particularly special.

[SincereTheRebel]

Algorithms run the game now

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/67255667/?search_identifier=553c31a1129ac474d40a387f75fffb0 302e17feaf366965e47a3b918f2d40151

48 of these houses, or the right to have Antony play football for you. Which are you going for?

[niko_cee]

Such a tease.

[niko_cee]

Will Still to leave Reims in the summer. He's a hammer isn't he? Off to replace Moyes?

[SvN]

He's gone now, no waiting around. They've been a bit crap this season looking at their results.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Position onze isn't bad when you're as crap a town as that. Mind you, Brest are 3rd and that's an even smellier version of Plymouth.

[phonics]

There's some joke about Brest being within reaching distance of the top 2 but I can't formulate it.

[Shindig]

Brest are so close they can almost feel them.

There. Done. Not that much effort required.

[igor_balis]

More than that though

[Luke Emia]

Moving Cucurella into midfield when Chelsea has possession has almost made him a passable footballer.

[niko_cee]

Anything but a Spurs win puts Liverpool fully on the beach right?

[Luke Emia]

Anything but a Spurs win puts Liverpool fully on the beach right?

Yep, but you have to say if we don’t pick up the point we need against Spurs or Villa in the next two games bearing in mind both of them will have played on the Thursday night when they have had a whole week off you’d be very disappointed.

[niko_cee]

Yeah yeah, it was never going to happen, I just meant MATHEMATICALLY.

Get Danns and co to dust their boots off.

[Gray Fox]

The TITLE PARADE has also now been fully cancelled. So yeah drop Salah to the reserves and let's see what the kids can do against angeball.

[randomlegend]

The TITLE PARADE has also now been fully cancelled. So yeah drop Salah to the reserves and let's see what the kids can do against angeball.

I'm not sure whether going ahead with a Carabao Cup/Klopp wankfest parade or capitulating and cancelling it is the more tinpot of the options.

[niko_cee]

Holding it would be worse.

[Shindig]

You wouldn't trust the wheels to stay on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A pity though as it would have been a fitting coda after he was criticised in his first weeks for the players giving it large to the Kop after a 2-2 home draw with West Brom.

[Don]

I wouldn't trust the wheels to stay on the bus for our parade gahahahaha.

[niko_cee]

I obviously avoid watching City like the plague but I can't help but feel that Foden getting the football writers' award means this has been a bit of a shit season. Feel like it probably should have been Rodri if it had to be a City player.

[Gray Fox]

I'm sure they haven't lost in some 50 odd games in which Rodri played. Proper cunt, but proper cunt of a player too.

[niko_cee]

Remember when 40 points used to be seen as safety? It could be sub 30 this year. :sick:

[Jimmy Floyd]

West Ham going down with 42 that time always raises a smile.

[Gray Fox]

David Raya winning the golden gloves. It just doesn't seem right.

[Baz]

It’s May

[phonics]

1786361424672862287

[-james-]

https://theathletic.com/5469446/2024/05/03/mark-clattenburg-resigns-nottingham-forest/

Marinakis in employing referee shocker.

[Shindig]

Man, non-league is just lighting up with ex-Magpies. How long do I have to wait for Titus Bramble to manage Sunderland Nissan? Never mind, apparently they've been defunct for 15 years. :D

[niko_cee]

Good to see the proper football people are tackling the big issues (https://www.theguardian.com/football/article/2024/may/03/jim-ratcliffe-disgrace-manchester-united-facilities) of the day.

:happycry:

Expect big signings in the IT department I guess.

[randomlegend]

Good to see I still live rent free in this whole forum's heads.

[Shindig]

His remarks in an email to staff were sent on Friday afternoon. Ratcliffe then compares the standards with that of Ineos, the multibillion-pound company he owns.

Yeah, I'm sure that's an apt comparison.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That whole thing is redolent of every wanker CEO I've had, and I've had a few now. Record sales this month everyone, but hang on, there's a box of printer cartridges open in the corner and someone's jumper is on the back of their chair, this does not reflect the values of this organisation.

[Yevrah]

Far be it from me to question Sir Jim's methods, but I suspect sending an email telling people they are shit, won't actually stop them being shit.

[Ian]

I'd be interested to know whether things were a bit untidy and he's a grumpy old twat or if it was a proper sty.

Because let me tell if there's one thing guaranteed to make people with too little else to worry about kick off it's a clear desk policy.

[Lofty]

He's also abolishing work from home.

[Giggles]

We probably need a new term for it that doesn't include the word 'work'. Employed from home.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'd be interested to know whether things were a bit untidy and he's a grumpy old twat or if it was a proper sty.

Because let me tell if there's one thing guaranteed to make people with too little else to worry about kick off it's a clear desk policy.

I'd imagine Antony is a right mucky pup.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Hopefully Ipswich go up today.

No idea who I'd want up in the playoffs, all the options are wank.

[Waffdon]

That’s such a joke of a decision. BT commentator trying say it’s not a mistake. :lol:

[Don]

Look at the donkey trail his leg and flop over like the useless limp dick that he is. Awful state of affairs for the game.

[niko_cee]

Needed that.

This Arsenal team really feels like it has been transported in time from the Benitez/Mourinho era. 4 defensive defenders, 2 defensive midfielders, hard work on the flanks. Quite effective in the play out from the back/error era.

[Lofty]

A soft penalty to be sure that could have been disallowed by VAR, but Christie should had 3 yellow cards after half an hour so fuck em.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Get fucked Leeds and Birmingham.

[Ian]

Somebody should start a May football thread.

[Adramelch]

I think we can afford to wait until the 2nd of the month. It shouldn't create any confusion.

[igor_balis]

We probably need a new term for it that doesn't include the word 'work'. Employed from home.

Your obsession with WFH is so funny. I always assumed I'd be exactly the kind of lazy cunt who'd find it impossible not to take the piss, but my #KPIs are actually BETTER working from home. What do you actually base your opinion on? I think they could do millions of studies proving fairly conclusively that WFH doesn't impact on productivity and you'd still go NO PEOPLE WHO WFH DO NOTHING. I can only assume you base all of your opinions on gut instinct and old man received wisdom and then you work backwards from that?

[Giggles]

Your obsession with WFH is so funny. I always assumed I'd be exactly the kind of lazy cunt who'd find it impossible not to take the piss, but my #KPIs are actually BETTER working from home. What do you actually base your opinion on? I think they could do millions of studies proving fairly conclusively that WFH doesn't impact on productivity and you'd still go NO PEOPLE WHO WFH DO NOTHING. I can only assume you base all of your opinions on gut instinct and old man received wisdom and then you work backwards from that?

:D it was always going to be one of you or lord keeko.

[Kikó]

He's right though.

[Spikey M]

Second.

[Shindig]

Third. It's not a hill to die on unless you're bean counting maniac. I'm not even sure what you do for a living, Giggles.

[Giggles]

I work. In work.

[igor_balis]

I think the reality is that giggles has a massive chip on his shoulder cus he's a thick old spastic without any qualifications and is thus barred access from any job where you even could work from home.

Check his Facebook, probably graduated from the university of life and/or the school of hard knocks. Probably just about more manageable getting through the day without throwing yourself off a bridge imagining there's a shady cabal of pretentious avocado eaters sitting around watching day time telly, while you driving about in a van or whatever you do and eating chicken fillet rolls in service stations is singlehandedly propping up the Irish economy. Rather than you just being a daft old man that is scared and confused by anything more modern than the world of Éamon de Valera.

[Giggles]

I think the reality is that giggles has a massive chip on his shoulder cus he's a thick old spastic without any qualifications and is thus barred access from any job where you even could work from home.

Check his Facebook, probably graduated from the university of life and/or the school of hard knocks. Probably just about more manageable getting through the day without throwing yourself off a bridge imagining there's a shady cabal of pretentious avocado eaters sitting around watching day time telly, while you driving about in a van or whatever you do and eating chicken fillet rolls in service stations is singlehandedly propping up the Irish economy. Rather than you just being a daft old man that is scared and confused by anything more modern than the world of Éamon de Valera.

Well.

[Giggles]

Is everything ok eeegs?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a post.

[-james-]

:huhu:

[Dark Soldier]

I think the reality is that giggles has a massive chip on his shoulder cus he's a thick old spastic without any qualifications and is thus barred access from any job where you even could work from home.

Check his Facebook, probably graduated from the university of life and/or the school of hard knocks. Probably just about more manageable getting through the day without throwing yourself off a bridge imagining there's a shady cabal of pretentious avocado eaters sitting around watching day time telly, while you driving about in a van or whatever you do and eating chicken fillet rolls in service stations is singlehandedly propping up the Irish economy. Rather than you just being a daft old man that is scared and confused by anything more modern than the world of Éamon de Valera.

Astonishingly old school for the forum, love it.

[Ben]

Nice to see a bit of needle out of nowhere.

[Don]

Oi Giggles, your dad shaves his legs.

[randomlegend]

Your mum shaves her face.

[Giggles]

Same razor and all.