April Football: Men Getting Hit By Football

[Manc]

Coventry's keeper going full Joe Hart ensured the defeat.

[Dark Soldier]

Absolutely masterclass from the boys again. Stunning performances by all 11, almost belittled and done over by a ratty, dirty, cheating smaller club. Gets irritating when these no marks think they can usurp the best team in the land. Onwards we march.

[Manc]

Leverkusen is not gonna do it. :(

:hat:

[Bernanke]

:hat:

I hoped I was gonna jinx it. :D Absolutely unbelievable. If they do it all the way it is probably the most impressive season by a team ever, even beyond Leicester winning.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Leverkusen is not gonna do it. :(

Stunning.

They had a free kick that was going well wide which the keeper decided to save and they scored from the corner.

Had a chance to win it too.

[randomlegend]

If we somehow end up scamming City in the final and so winning more than Liverpool (FA cup > League cup) in Klopp's last season it'll be fucking hilarious.

[Don]

If we somehow end up scamming City in the final and so winning more than Liverpool (FA cup > League cup) in Klopp's last season it'll be fucking hilarious.

:lol:

[Spoonsky]

Leverkusen is not gonna do it. :(

!

[niko_cee]

If we somehow end up scamming City in the final and so winning more than Liverpool (FA cup > League cup) in Klopp's last season it'll be fucking hilarious.

Preferable to City winning it.

Might keep ETH in a job as well so everybody wins.

[Ian]

I think even if we beat City, which we absolutely will not, he'll just get van Gaal'd anyway.

[Lewis]

I think the only thing that will save him from here is the lack of obvious replacements. If it's Southgate I'm getting into NFL.

[Kikó]

The only way United beat city in the final is some kind of Munich air disaster. Probably for both teams.

[Yevrah]

Southgate at Utd would be so much fun.

[Kikó]

Didn't realise you wished for my death so passionately.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I know all fans will be optimistic at the end of such a long tenure of shit under the Glazers, but INEOS and Sir Dave Brailsford only means one thing which is a load of corporate think-wank ten years past being at the cutting edge. The best they can hope for is a relatively non-shit appointment and Liverpool and others falling back to let them into the top four by default.

[randomlegend]

I know all fans will be optimistic at the end of such a long tenure of shit under the Glazers, but INEOS and Sir Dave Brailsford only means one thing which is a load of corporate think-wank ten years past being at the cutting edge. The best they can hope for is a relatively non-shit appointment and Liverpool and others falling back to let them into the top four by default.

They have already done better than that by appointing or being in the process of appointing people into positions within the football structure that they are actually qualified for, potentially even good at. That is no guarantee of success, but they have done more positive work in a few months than the Glazers ever did.

[Shindig]

Mate, the backroom staff don't take to the field every week.

[randomlegend]

Yes, it is difficult to see how the backroom staff might influence who does take to the field every week, I admit.

[Shindig]

Yeah, come back with that one when Maguire and Rashford retire as #2 and #3 on the all-time appearance list.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They have already done better than that by appointing or being in the process of appointing people into positions within the football structure that they are actually qualified for, potentially even good at. That is no guarantee of success, but they have done more positive work in a few months than the Glazers ever did.

'The football structure'

[randomlegend]

It's amazing that the concept of there being a correlation between having competent people in charge of major decisions related to football in a football club and achieving footballing success is so controversial.

It's not like it's been borne out in stark reality for the past 10-15 years or anything. You don't even need to look beyond the borders of a single city.

[Shindig]

I've just got a mental image of Ashworth walking into Old Trafford on his first day and Brailsford handing him a list of 1978's finest footballers.

[Lewis]

That or stuff like banning certain car colours and fines for not holding drinks with both hands.

[-james-]

It's amazing that the concept of there being a correlation between having competent people in charge of major decisions related to football in a football club and achieving footballing success is so controversial.

It's not like it's been borne out in stark reality for the past 10-15 years or anything. You don't even need to look beyond the borders of a single city.

Bore off with this DATA bollocks. :rolleyes:

[wullie]

The best story at Wembley would have been the lesser unfancied club making the final, and thanks to VAR and Onana not getting 12 yellows for timewasting that's what happened. I'm signing Forest's petition

[Shindig]

A much worse injustice than Chesterfield, really. Damn the rules and the MACHINES.

[niko_cee]

Just finding out that La Liga doesn't use goal line technology. What?

[Baz]

I noticed that. Madness.

[Gray Fox]

Ornstein pretty much ruling out Amorim to Liverpool now.

So what next?

[phonics]

https://i.imgur.com/vjBBRZP.png

[niko_cee]

Seeing as they've pinched Bournemouth's DoF I'm surprised there isn't more Iraola talk.

Virgil player manager.

[John Arne]

I wouldn't be surprised if Klopp was pushing for Ljinders, who I suspect also really wants the gig. I doubt that'll happen though - you don't hire all these "football men" from other clubs, then promote from within.

[Manc]

Thomas Frank would make a lot of sense at this point.

[Gray Fox]

I personally think whoever it is, now that it is not Xabi Alonso, will fail.

He was the outstanding candidate with the evolutionary brand of football needed. He also would have come with a built in level of patience. What you're left with now are some cheap knock offs or names your average fan hasn't heard of.

De Zerbi or Frank would be very David Moyes following Ferguson.

[Don]

The Nazi cunt is doing a u-turn when he flops his way to the title.

[-james-]

I personally think whoever it is, now that it is not Xabi Alonso, will fail.

He was the outstanding candidate with the evolutionary brand of football needed. He also would have come with a built in level of patience. What you're left with now are some cheap knock offs or names your average fan hasn't heard of.

De Zerbi or Frank would be very David Moyes following Ferguson.

Xabi Alonso has had one good season, he can't be the singular valid appointment.

[Lofty]

What are the odds on half of the stars jumping ship in the summer?

[Shindig]

Slim-ish and that's mostly because FFP has everyone scared to buy.

[Raoul Duke]

Salah off to Saudi, couple of shit managerial appointments and then the wheels really fall off :drool:

[Giggles]

Is Klopp really going?

[igor_balis]

I personally think whoever it is, now that it is not Xabi Alonso, will fail.

He was the outstanding candidate with the evolutionary brand of football needed. He also would have come with a built in level of patience. What you're left with now are some cheap knock offs or names your average fan hasn't heard of.

De Zerbi or Frank would be very David Moyes following Ferguson.
I don't always agree with Giggles but he's absolutely spot on re: the relentless negativity from you lot. Well, mostly you specifically, but still.

[niko_cee]

Salah to Saudi seems a possibility. Which other stars are there? 'Trent' might walk out for nothing in a year but I'm not sure about that. Talk of Diaz to Barcelona :yn: but they're skint so that also seems unlikely.

Alisson is probably the one but I'm not sure I've ever seen him linked to go anywhere.

[Gray Fox]

I don't always agree with Giggles but he's absolutely spot on re: the relentless negativity from you lot. Well, mostly you specifically, but still.

The Negative One. :cool:

[Magic]

:baz:

[Shindig]

How's the website going?

[Magic]

Nobody cared unless it was going to make them millions so I gave up and it actually made me hate capitalism so much I am quitting my career as well.

[Shindig]

Well, at least Leeds are doing alright.

[randomlegend]

Nobody cared unless it was going to make them millions so I gave up and it actually made me hate capitalism so much I am quitting my career as well.

Lol

[Boydy]

1782434123325243590

Not a bald Dutchman ffs.

[Boydy]

Nobody cared unless it was going to make them millions so I gave up and it actually made me hate capitalism so much I am quitting my career as well.

Wait, what? More info please.

[igor_balis]

1782434123325243590

Not a bald Dutchman ffs.

He looks like a cross between Jaap Stam and ken griffey jr after Mr burns gives him the brain tonic

[Danny]

I look forward to him telling Salah to shave off his sideburns

[igor_balis]

Just remembered my mate telling me that his well aspergers little brother had one of the old mini ipods with only the soundtrack to ocarina of time and the Simpsons softball song. Probably better than the shite I had on my MP3 player at that age.

[Manc]

1782434123325243590

Not a bald Dutchman ffs.

He'll slot right in.

[Lofty]

Salah to Saudi seems a possibility. Which other stars are there? 'Trent' might walk out for nothing in a year but I'm not sure about that. Talk of Diaz to Barcelona :yn: but they're skint so that also seems unlikely.

Alisson is probably the one but I'm not sure I've ever seen him linked to go anywhere.

VvD?

[niko_cee]

Van Dijk strikes me as more of a stick it out and then into management type.

[Gray Fox]

I do think Salah will be off into the desert sunset this year. I think the timing is right by all, as much as I'd like us to keep him. He'll want big money still and only has a year left on his deal. If they can recoup what they paid for him or turn a profit, then all the better.

Thiago has already left. Diazs father has been going on about how he'd love his lad to play for Barcelona, but as Niko says, they're still fucked financially. If we could convince PSG they need him it would be great. Beyond that I'm not sure anyone else will go this year.

[Adramelch]

Inter clinching the title with 5 games in hand by beating Milan seems like a dream scenario for them. Also Bologna on their way to Champions League qualification, a bit out of nowhere, is quite something.

[Luke Emia]

Everyone goes on about the forward line having been rejuvenated and being good but it's probably the part of the squad at this point which needs the most work especially if Salah does go. Jota and Diaz are decent but nowhere near the level of the previous front three you'd be happy if they were your 4th and 5th choices but that's never going to happen.

I think an often overlooked thing with the Salah, Mane & Firminio is that especially Salah and Mane barely ever used to miss a game, the front line now always seems to have niggles and nearly always one of them seems to be out for a longer period of time.

[SvN]

As an (optimistic) outsider, it feels like it's all about to fall apart for Liverpool, akin to United circa 2013. Perhaps it's just wishful thinking.

[John Arne]

A Quansah lead team does not just simply "fall apart".

#QuansahForEngland

[Ben]

Also Bologna on their way to Champions League qualification, a bit out of nowhere, is quite something.

Especially with that lad from Aberdeen as captain. :cab:

[Waffdon]

He’s quality. Just done his ACL though.

Never got a game for Scotland because Clark has his faves

[Luke Emia]

Looks like silly season on the rumours now. Mourinho - Presumably just on the basis that he was at the Fulham game and Gary O'Neil. I don't like O'Neil and he's obviously done two very good jobs but fuck me that would be underwhelming to put it mildly.

[niko_cee]

If he was called Gario O'Nealio, actually, no, that's getting towards dangerous sounding territory.

[Gray Fox]

Everyone goes on about the forward line having been rejuvenated and being good but it's probably the part of the squad at this point which needs the most work especially if Salah does go. Jota and Diaz are decent but nowhere near the level of the previous front three you'd be happy if they were your 4th and 5th choices but that's never going to happen.

I think an often overlooked thing with the Salah, Mane & Firminio is that especially Salah and Mane barely ever used to miss a game, the front line now always seems to have niggles and nearly always one of them seems to be out for a longer period of time.

Hey you'll never guess what?

[Waffdon]

I really hope Chelsea get a penalty tonight to see the battle royal commence for who takes it since palmer is out.

[Adramelch]

A soft penalty at that, just for some extra drama.

[niko_cee]

No Palmer, no penalty.

[Waffdon]

A soft penalty at that, just for some extra drama.

Spurs away shenanigans pls

[Lofty]

I really hope Chelsea get a penalty tonight to see the battle royal commence for who takes it since palmer is out.

Palmer will start, just mind games.

[Manc]

I doubt it. He couldn't move at Wembley.

[Waffdon]

Palmer will start, just mind games.

Other teams do have injury overloads unlike yourselves who’ve bottled the league being the only team with a full strength side every week

(In before I’m yelling timber)

[niko_cee]

Bad news for Chelsea as top scorer Cole Palmer misses out with illness and Mykhailo Mudryk starts in his place.

Harsh but fair.

[Waffdon]

Madueke/jackson/mudryk is such a timid front 3. Not like there’s goal scoring midfielders behind them either :D

Should be fun

[Don]

The Gods are doing all they can to keep Arsenal in this title race. First that Wolves injury crisis and now no penalty taker for Chelsea.

[Lofty]

Partey starting isn't great though.

[Danny]

Other teams do have injury overloads unlike yourselves who’ve bottled the league being the only team with a full strength side every week

(In before I’m yelling timber)

I think you will find that’s a negative as they have played too many minutes

[Waffdon]

Today is the day Caicedo is sent off finally I fear

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Partey starting isn't great though.

Arteta said no to him? Surprised he went along with it.

[Waffdon]

Oh my days. Look at Madueke. Why does he always leave his full back on his own. Fucking dreadful

[Jimmy Floyd]

Madueke having the gall to try and take penalties off Cole Palmer is something I'm still processing mentally. It's like me running up on stage and ripping the trumpet out of Satchmo's hands, on the basis that I reckon I'm a 'baller'.

[Waffdon]

Mudryk is somehow even worse at tracking back. This could genuinely be 6 or 7 if Arsenal fancy it

[Luke Emia]

On the bar of what’s already been given as a red this season how is that not a red for Jackson?

[Lofty]

VAR just not fancying that eh.

[Luke Emia]

Arsenal didn’t half dodge a bullet last January with failing to get Mudryk and Caicedo.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

On the bar of what’s already been given as a red this season how is that not a red for Jackson?

The fact that VAR looked at it and didn't deem it as a red is nuts.

[Lofty]

All set up for narrative central when should have been dismissed Jackson pops up with a goal in the second half.

[Waffdon]

Badiashile going to pass it to someone with their back to an Arsenal player pressing them anymore? Christ

[Waffdon]

And Conor Gallagher. Not a football brain in there. Keeps losing the ball and takes 5 touches too many

[Waffdon]

And about the 4th corner that Chelsea just let Arsenal take it short. And people think Pochettino does a good job. He coaches these. He sets them up. He makes every single player worse. He has them absolutely diabolical at the start of every single half. Get the fuck out

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You ok, hun?

[Luke Emia]

How is that not a foul on Madueke in the build up to the goal? He might have got the slightest touch on the ball but he’s also wiped him out and got an advantage from it.

Not going to make a difference to the result but it feels like they just make it up with VAR at times.

[Waffdon]

And now havertz gets his pity goal.

Clear free kick as well. What a horrendous week this is going to be. 5 off Villa on Saturday and letting a spurs side finally win at Stamford Bridge next Tuesday. Pochettino will still be in a job.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fucking hell Jackson.

He's a donkey.

[Waffdon]

2+ goals conceded in 10 out of the last 16 games. That includes home games to Leeds, Burnley, Leicester and wolves.

Pochettino is phenomenal

[Luke Emia]

And about the 4th corner that Chelsea just let Arsenal take it short. And people think Pochettino does a good job. He coaches these. He sets them up. He makes every single player worse. He has them absolutely diabolical at the start of every single half. Get the fuck out

He does but he’s also got an over £200 million midfield which makes the days of Henderson and Milner look dynamic.

Madueke and Mudryk are absolute nothing players as well so that’s £300 million spent for 4 players who have been absolute junk tonight and look a million miles from being decent players. Jackson is ok, he works hard but he’s got the Nunez about him that he’s never going to be prolific because he can’t finish.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's pathetic defending.

[Waffdon]

If Arsenal hit 7 or 8 here he might go. Probably not. Worth a shot

[Waffdon]

He does but he’s also got an over £200 million midfield which makes the days of Henderson and Milner look dynamic.

Madueke and Mudryk are absolute nothing players as well so that’s £300 million spent for 4 players who have been absolute junk tonight and look a million miles from being decent players. Jackson is ok, he works hard but he’s got the Nunez about him that he’s never going to be prolific because he can’t finish.

He sets the team up. He sets them up wrong. I’m not giving him sympathy for the injuries either as he’s the reason for a minimum of 2 of them by rushing back and getting injured once more. It’s not a coincidence bad injuries follow him around. Muscle ones at that. Potter was grim but a far better coach with a much worse squad. If they were going to show patience it should have been with him over this dunce. (Shouldn’t have been ever appointed in the first place anyway. Ex spurs. Ugh)

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That pass was bonkers.

[Waffdon]

City are definitely cocking the league up and handing it to Arsenal :sick:

[Jimmy Floyd]

You sound like one of those blokes you hear sitting behind you at games.

PASS IT FORWARD, FOR FUCK'S SAKE

[Don]

How are you setting up this squad of rapists, gunmen and favela rats to prevent bad losses like this? The Argie cunt can't be blamed.

[Baz]

Remember when Waff pretended he wasn’t a Chelsea fan? Now look at him, hating every minute. :happycry:

[Waffdon]

The Argie can’t be blamed but has conceded the most goals in Chelsea’s PL history. Last year was a worse season and had Lampard losing 4-0 every week for the last part of the season and didn’t reach that amount

[randomlegend]

And now havertz gets his pity goal.

Clear free kick as well. What a horrendous week this is going to be. 5 off Villa on Saturday and letting a spurs side finally win at Stamford Bridge next Tuesday. Pochettino will still be in a job.

Moaning about a free kick when you got away with the most blatant red in history is some cheek.

[niko_cee]

This has to be the end for SmallPockets, get Mourinho back in. Whatever happened to that lady physio who did for him last time round? Life in the sun after the payout?

[SvN]

I would love to see Mourinho back in the Premier League

[phonics]

You can debate whose fault it is but there’s one certainty and it’s that whatever, that, is it’s a truly abysmal football team. I think Burnley might have showed more composure.

[Waffdon]

Why did Chelsea have to invade Ukraine. Smh.

[Ben]

I would love to see Mourinho back in the Premier League

https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/jose-mourinho-manutd-player-sales-32645939

Yes please.


I won a Europa League final with [long balls from] Sergio Romero to Marouane Fellaini. Ajax pressing – but pressing oxygen because the ball was not there. Ball to Fellaini’s chest. Play from there. Two-nil. Bring the cup home. Three titles. Disaster of a season.

[niko_cee]

It's time he got back on the little horse.

[Gray Fox]

In another timeline, I actually think Mourinho would have been a perfect Liverpool manager. I'd love to have seen how that one played out.

It would seem Arne Slot is the preferred choice. Negotiations well underway. Amorim was under consideration, but the financial package a sticking point. He wanted £10m a year, with a chunky signing bonus and there's the £20m release clause in his Sporting deal.

I can't say I know much about Slot at all, other than his record with Feyenoord. No doubt all your Liverpool fansites will be out in force with a complete tactical breakdown of him today. I also see he plays with a young dainty Brazilian forward type. If there's any talk about him bringing him over for £90m we should barricade the training ground entrance.

[Boydy]

Would be very funny if Liverpool get a good Dutch baldy.

[phonics]

Getting a bad one would be funnier.

[niko_cee]

Without knowing anything about him, and probably mostly due to him being linked to Spurs last year, Slot has always had a [Big] Martin Jol feel for me.

[Baz]

Should just get Dirk Kuyt.

[Ben]

History would suggest this isn’t going to go well. Hopefully for Liverpool the xBaldness tells a different story.

[Luke Emia]

Should just get Dirk Kuyt.

If they've got to be Dutch what about Erik Meijer for a real blast from the past?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1782846450495283623
Baz DCL and who else?

[Gray Fox]

Baz you're slacking.

1782846450495283623

[Baz]

Much like I’ve retired from being a mental health first aider at work, I’d like to be relieved of my duties as gay footballer knower.

[Lofty]

2 19 year old premier league footballers from the same club arrested for rape.

[Ben]

Getafe will be strong next season.

[Gray Fox]

Derbies in the evening kick offs are just better. Oddly, Goodison has become something of a magnet for boring draws in recent years. Let the goals flow tonight.

[Bam]

Getafe will be strong next season.

I think they may pass a couple of shit kickers from Wolves.

[Waffdon]

These Everton players are on the good shit, they’ll be knackered after 20 mins

[Shindig]

This is the wrong time to play Palace. :uhoh:

[Waffdon]

Everton must have one of the slowest teams in the league. Absolutely no pace anywhere.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Doesn't matter though, fuck Liverpool.

[Waffdon]

That is the worst goal I think I’ve ever witnessed :D

Such a Dyche goal

[Danny]

I think they may pass a couple of shit kickers from Wolves.

1783077219293651307

[Gray Fox]

Another terrible first half.

[Luke Emia]

That is the worst goal I think I’ve ever witnessed :D

Such a Dyche goal

You’d have been embarrassed to concede that goal at primary school.

Konate has been fucking useless.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's always nice to see Nunez in donkey form.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sack Ten Hag.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck knows how Mykolenko is walking after that.

[Waffdon]

Nunez playing as an extra defender here

[Gray Fox]

The gameplan for the first 35 mins was unfathomable. Why play Everton at the game that Dyche is best at?

Much better final 10 minutes. Either Everton have tired or they've just dropped deep too soon.

[Don]

This is peak headloss/favela-ry. I can forgive Nunez cause he's aryan but that other one is fucking disgusting to look at. And Salah properly on the Jeddah bay already, go fuck a pig.

[Gray Fox]

I'm also fully giving Taz the e-victory on Diaz. He's so good at getting the ball and gliding past a man or two, but he's always doing it going towards his own goal.

[Luke Emia]

Diaz is definitely less of an issue than Nunez though.

As for Salah wasn’t he useless after the last AFCON as well?

[Waffdon]

Man Utd and Newcastle doing their best to keep Pochettino in a job

[niko_cee]

I'd rather have Nunez down the left than Diaz.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Auf Wiedersehen, dickhead.

[Waffdon]

Everton have absolutely swarmed Liverpool at every set piece. Konate and Van Dijk looking like wee boys

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://dubz.co/v/pw5cjy

That is never a penalty in a million years.

Why not just allow the goal?

[Gray Fox]

Racking up more pointless xG numbers here.

[Gray Fox]

This bus parade a the end of the season is going to be very weird.

[Waffdon]

Didn’t have Liverpool’s arse collapsing just as bad as this. Losing to that Man Utd team in the FA Cup followed by dropping points to them in the league. The Atlanta thumping in Europe and now this. Beautiful

[Lewis]

Why would you have an end of season parade for the League Cup?

[niko_cee]

https://dubz.co/v/pw5cjy

That is never a penalty in a million years.

Why not just allow the goal?

If you don't give the penalty there as the VAR the goal wouldn't stand would it as the ref had whistled, which would have been extra lol.

[Gray Fox]

Why would you have an end of season parade for the League Cup?

It was booked right after the league cup win as a joint celebration of trophies and Klopp. Regardless of how many more were(nt) won.

[Don]

1783159021962252544

:D

l

[niko_cee]

One less managerial vacancy in the summer as Xavi has changed his mind.

[Raoul Duke]

Brian Munich trying to get Ralf Ragnarok is absolutely hatstand

[niko_cee]

Are they going to employ standard tactics and just buy all of Leverkusen's good players or is that unlikely to succeed for the first time ever?

[Lewis]

Harry Maguire scored a really good header. I don't know why Bruno Fernandes doesn't pot shot it more often. He might as well and he's good at it.

[randomlegend]

This is peak headloss/favela-ry. I can forgive Nunez cause he's aryan but that other one is fucking disgusting to look at. And Salah properly on the Jeddah bay already, go fuck a pig.

https://i.imgur.com/cquuox7.png

[Don]

Brother, please, spend that time with your loved ones or do a home workout or something.

[Kikó]

Positive goal difference 😍

The curse of winning the league cup is striking Liverpool which is lovely to see.

[John Arne]

Been watching some old World Cup finals recently. Hungary 1954 genuinley playing like football is played today. So good.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cVrWymwsRg&t=603s&ab_channel=VintageHDtv

Elsewhere, in 1974 Netherlands took on Germany as we all know. The Germans diving all over the show, and the Netherlands playing some peak tiki taka, without the boring side to side passing.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4jtfTSGfi8&ab_channel=FootballFlashback6

[Luke Emia]

Van Dijk calling out other players after his performance last night is something else. Fine to do it if you have done your job but he didn't.

[niko_cee]

'mon the Seagulls.

This will be, of course, the first year they manage to not get bummed by City when it matters.

[phonics]

'mon the Seagulls.

This will be, of course, the first year they manage to not get bummed by City when it matters.

Is it irony that my personal happiness at the outcome of this season hinges on Spurs?

[Gray Fox]

Do you think City will drop another point from here?

[niko_cee]

It's all in Spurs' hands.

So no.

[Gray Fox]

After hearing that Bayern Munich were lining up Ralf as a potential replacement manager, their supporters have petitioned the club that they'd rather keep Tuchel for another season than have Ralf.

[Don]

And there's our lot sitting by idly.

I did watch a vid of slaphead speaking to the media in English though and at least he doesn't sound like the stuttering virgin fuck. His head shape is a bit more palatable, too.

[Shindig]

What kind of alien speak is that last sentence?

[niko_cee]

More torpedo like.

[Danny]

What kind of alien speak is that last sentence?

It’s what the kids call “Copium”

[Gray Fox]

Copium supplies in the Merseyside area are at an all time low.

[Shindig]

Kopium :dc:

[Gray Fox]

It would seem the deal with Arne Slot and Feyenoord is all but done as the word is Liverpool have moved onto ironing out the details of getting his assistants too. As expected THE DATA on Slot is out and I've spent a bored Friday reading up on some. I'll immediately apologise to Jim for posting this but this slide interested me:

https://i.gyazo.com/ffd208685c4f67952fc1354a6d41e231.png

It shows a few interesting things. One was obvious, but is quite shocking how bad it actually is. That's how terrible we were this season at stopping the other team. To the point where we were worse than your average German league team and we all know defence is illegal over there.

It also shows how much we fell into lumping it forward at every given opportunity. I've mentioned how bad our build up seems to have gotten with no one in the middle in a "10/false 9" position(we don't have a Firmino type at all now). Even Trent tends to pick it up in the CDM position and try to ping the Hollywood pass every single time and it shows.

Conversely this Feyenoord team seem a lot more patient with it. Spreading the ball about the attacking players with more patience to work an opening. This leads to the last point on shot quality. Ours is terrible. We've had a fair few games with say 20/30+ shots this season that have resulted in very few goals and the line on punditry tends to be how have they not scored so many more. I think this points out a lot on how we've maybe been forcing it.

[Pepe]

Lol at those plots.

[niko_cee]

There should be a section for goals scored that would likely also have been scored by Alfonso Alves.

[Gray Fox]

Waistcoats best bit of business?

[Giggles]

Fan charts are a nice change of pace from the graph.

[Ian]

I'm not even sure what the point of those graphs is you've posted GF. Doesn't even mention how good a father figure they are to fans of the club, how many decades their devotees will wear a black armband for when they leave, etc.

[Shindig]

Or leave the old parking spot unoccupied.

[Magic]

Christ this is torture.

[Gray Fox]

Worry not Magic. The all important transfer window will open soon.

[Magic]

That's it. Wouldn't be surprised if it's League One in 2026.

[Ian]

Or leave the old parking spot unoccupied.

Absolutely. You can't just see it as a bit of tarmac if you Know The Club.

[Baz]

There should be a section for goals scored that would likely also have been scored by Alfonso Alves.

Or chances wasted that Chris Wood would have scored.

[Gray Fox]

I'll try and include his xFavellacunt per starting XI in my next graph.

[wullie]

I swear the last month has just been the Championship top four trying their best to stay down.

[Ben]

I swear the last month has just been the Championship top four trying their best to stay down.

Leeds should have lost to us on Monday as well but we are such complete spastics at the back that we handed them three free goals so they scraped over the line.

[Luke Emia]

I think you can look at plenty of games this season where the XG count has been high but the chances weren’t great that United game at home would be a good example.

The two defeats and the United game you can’t put in that though. It’s just down to pure bad finishing. Those three chances Diaz, Nunez and Salah all missed on Wednesday night just before half-time one of them has to go in. If it does you probably win the game as Everton looked out on their feet at the end of that half.

The team isn’t in a terrible state but I think there’s more work to be done than has been made out. Still need a top-quality defensive midfielder and then depending on what happens with Salah in the summer we need at least one if not two top quality forwards and that isn’t happening.

I’ve said it a lot down the past 5 or so years where Liverpool have been lauded as being brilliantly run. We haven’t been, we’ve had one of the best managers in the world of the past 15 years and we got lucky with the Coutinho money and flogging a load of youngsters off for money they were never worth to Bournemouth and the like which funded signing Alisson, Van Dijk and Fabinho. There’s no magic formula there.

[Giggles]

Leeds cunting things up is the treat everyone needs in their lives.

[Don]

The xG was high but the chances weren't great. We weren't brilliantly run, we just appointed the best manager and signed the best players and sold players for the best price. I'm not a don, I just have massive girth and an incredible mind.

[Lewis]

I think selling your cast-offs for inflated fees is just downstream of being successful rather than luck and/or business genius. United used to have willing buyers for their rubbish, and City seem to shuffle some absolute nobody on every year for a you wot mate fee.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/cn40r131z2no

Arne Slot OFFICIAL.

[niko_cee]

Disappointed he isn't called Slott as it undermines my theory that the data might have had a numerological [is that the term? Letterological?] slant, consonant, l, o, repeated consonant.

[Don]

I'm not sure who is classed as shite that we managed to get overinflated money for either, Brewster, Ward, any others? Any of the ones we get money for are usually solid deals for both parties (Solanke, Wilson, Williams) owing to the fact we don't tend to allow shite through the door in the first place.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

"Liverpool have agreed to pay Feyenoord £7.7m (9m euros) plus a possible £1.7m (2m euros) in add-ons."

A lot of money for a binman.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I want some of those pie charts, but for executives instead of teams.

[niko_cee]

Arne Slot tonight:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kyGpkV_Qdw&ab_channel=JaimeTwoInky

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was thinking that Daft Punk song but with balder / Dutcher / balder / Dutcher etc ad infinitum.

[John Arne]

The second best Arne at Liverpool to date. #JohnArne

[Kikó]

Hope you got your t-shirt wullie.

1783803279400378646?t=X777vlofnfMh000U1pzg4w&s=19

[Baz]

Former Liverpool wonderkid Jordon Ibe has been released by non-league side Ebbsfleet.

Sterling laughing into his Shreddies this morning. Probably worth adding to your 2025 dead pool, all things considered.

[Lofty]

Did they have beef?

[niko_cee]

Ibe's a funny one. He was never that good, but he should have been able to carve out a career at the level of that pacey scotch midget Bournemouth had [have?] - did he fall into the laughing gas/Dele Alli way of life or something?

[Baz]

Did they have beef?Nah I just remember a lot of nonsense comparisons like this (https://www.espn.co.uk/football/story/_/id/37480205/jordon-ibe-more-ability-raheem-sterling-says-jamie-redknapp).

[Baz]

Salah and Nunez benched, incoming demolishing of West Ham :drool:

[wullie]

Hope you got your t-shirt wullie.

1783803279400378646?t=X777vlofnfMh000U1pzg4w&s=19

Fucking hell. I hesitate to use the term 'tinpot' but if anything calls for it

[John Arne]

Referee having a mare here. Paqueta should have been booked for almost breaking Mac Allister's ankle (which VAR described as "foot on foot")... Nothing, and then Diaz shirt pull right in front of the ref... Nothing.

https://gyazo.com/845c570a95821650f2401cd49cb27124.jpeg

[Luke Emia]

Same as the Nicholas Jackson one the other night. Not even a booking from the ref on the pitch either.

[randomlegend]

Liverpool contingent on here are the biggest whingers going.

[Gray Fox]

Yeah lads, stop moaning about stuff the referee has got wrong.

[randomlegend]

The refs are shit, everyone gets shit decisions every week, no doubt you've benefitted just as much as you've lost out.

You lot and Waff are the only ones who bang on about it every time something goes against you.

[Shindig]

Don't bother with the bus parade, lads. I wouldn't trust the wheels to stay on.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Gakpo trying to claim that :harold:

[Adramelch]

Have Liverpool scored the first goal in any game this season? Cause it doesn't feel like it.

[niko_cee]

Have Liverpool scored the first goal in any game this season? Cause it doesn't feel like it.

They've been behind in 18 league games this season, not sure about first goals.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's a lovely header.

[John Arne]

We did it again. As soon as we take the lead, we completely step off the gas. Crap.

[Gray Fox]

So if Gakpo knocks that in, it's a goal right?

[Gray Fox]

"If I speak tonight there will be a fire"

Id love to know what this is all about. Burn it down lads.

[Shindig]

Where was this Sheffield United the rest of the season? :uhoh:

EDIT. And they've gone. :D

[Gray Fox]

Was that 4 goals in 10 minutes for Newcastle? I feel like Sheffield and Burnley can play well but only for like 30-40 minutes in a game. They always end up crumbling.

Luton have given it a better go but it all looks academic now.

[Don]

"If I speak tonight there will be a fire"

Id love to know what this is all about. Burn it down lads.

Just saw the footage of the initial incident, they're proper havin it out. As you say, get me the details. It's no coincidence that this is all from having too many favela cunts running in the gaff and to start the king favela over club legend really is asking for these scenes. Brexit visa rules running riot.

[Don]

Was that 4 goals in 10 minutes for Newcastle? I feel like Sheffield and Burnley can play well but only for like 30-40 minutes in a game. They always end up crumbling.

Luton have given it a better go but it all looks academic now.

Burnley would have stayed up if it wasn't for trying to cover their initial error of parting £20m for a gammon retard in goal for most of the season.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Leverkusen have only gone and fucking done it again.

[Adramelch]

It's pretty mental really. If it'd just been a couple of times, you'd say they were lucky, but with how many times they've done it this season it speaks volumes about their composure/determination.

[Gray Fox]

The new Mentality Monsters.

[Adramelch]

Props to Stuttgart also going from essentially relegation fodder in the last 10 years or so to suddenly qualifying for the Champions League again, and without actually spending big.

Edit: It just occured to me that practically every big league has one surprise team making it to the Champions League, with Girona, Stuttgart, Bologna and possibly Villa and/or Brest.

[Waffdon]

:lol:

This is the weekend he’s sacked. Surely. Nobody survives back to back 5-0’s. Might be more

£60m for cucurella will never be topped in any walk of life.

[Clunge]

FFS Villa.

[Waffdon]

That’s utterly embarrassing to rule that out

[Clunge]

I'll take it.

[Waffdon]

The referee sees it in real time and thinks it’s fine and then lets some virgin with a mic rule it out for him. No longer a physical sport, clearly.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The referee sees it in real time and thinks it’s fine and then lets some virgin with a mic rule it out for him. No longer a physical sport, clearly.

:harold:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why the fuck are we playing at 8pm on a Saturday? No time for football.

[Clunge]

That second half was a horrific watch. Flashbacks to Boxing Day.

[Waffdon]

I was a huge fan of the Chelsea players literally ignoring Mudryk and refusing to pass to him. It actually seemed to work very well.

An embarrassment he lasted that long.

[niko_cee]

Love that Chelsea ladies have now suffered crushing champions League injustice, in the eyes of their much lauded plank of a manager at least. Is that at least equality with the men after Ovrebo?

[Ian]

Has Hayes threatened anybody in a car park?

[Shindig]

I wouldn't put it past her.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I still send Ovrebo a death threat every evening. I'll never actually try to kill him. It's just become part of my routine.

[Shindig]

If you missed a day he'd think something was up. Don't want your door kicked in again.

[Waffdon]

Deserve that own goal for starting Hojberg over Sarr and Bissouma

[niko_cee]

Cracking finish by Hojberg.

[Ben]

They drew the line in the wrong place. :facepalm:

[niko_cee]

Just the way we play mate.

[John Arne]

Why are they not showing any replays of the potential fouls?

[niko_cee]

Neither penalty shouts were penalties.