RAMMING August football DOWN YOUR THROAT

[Ian]

Thank god / for fuck's sake (delete as applicable) football is BACK! The women are doing a World Cup, you're all banging on fucking endlessly about players you've never even watched play because some Twitter bore says your awful team might be signing him, Saudi are buying all the players and soon I'm going to have Manchester United back in my life (at least until we're sold to the baddies) whether I like it or not.

Rejoice!

[randomlegend]

Only a month of the window left :(

[Alex]

I genuinely don't have a fucking clue how Leeds will do this season.

Players have left in their droves, which is fine because I wanted to see the back of them all anyway. But they've all left on loan deals instead of us getting a fee for them. We've only brought Ethan Ampadu and Karl Darlow in and we kick off in five days.

But then we have got some (on paper) sharp looking youngsters, have retained a lot of talent in terms of going forward on the wings (although we're still stuck with that lump Bamford as the main striker option) and have brought in about as good a manager as we could realistically have hoped for in the form of Farke.

So yeah, fuck knows. Magic, talk to me.

[phonics]

It feels like it was only 3 weeks ago but I can't even remember who got relegated. Did Leeds go down?

[Shindig]

Leeds, Leicester and erm... someone else.

[Alex]

We did it. And it was very much deserved too. Awful side.

[Shindig]

Southampton were the other guys that went down. I've definitely forgotten once this summer that we're in the Champions League.

[niko_cee]

It feels like it was only 3 weeks ago but I can't even remember who got relegated. Did Leeds go down?

I had this exact thing the other day when trying to remember whether Leicester got relegated prior to their game with Liverpool. Memorable season.

[Alex]

Obviously the best outcome this season in the Championship would be Warnock leading Huddersfield on an unprecedented promotion march and giving the missus yet another reason why he can't retire yet. :cool:

[Mike]

I miss MOTD on a Sunday morning, a good rest from Bluey

[Raoul Duke]

Did Leeds hang onto that Gnoto guy? He looked pretty good from what I saw

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

For now.

Apparently Everton are trying to buy him.

[Raoul Duke]

Who could say Gnoto Dycheball?

[John Arne]

If you are into seeing legs at horrible angles, check out Marcelo, who has just broke someone's leg quite horrifically.

[niko_cee]

BBC reckons dislocated knee.

Saw one of those once in youth football and it was nasty.

[John Arne]

Fuck me, this is quite ouch-inducing.


1686518351986581504

[Jimmy Floyd]

Today I learned who is France women's manager at the World Cup.

Just can't help himself.

[niko_cee]

Is it Herve?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Who else would it be?

https://lvdneng.rosselcdn.net/sites/default/files/dpistyles_v2/vdn_864w/2023/07/31/node_1357945/56438515/public/2023/07/31/B9734825579Z.1_20230731235356_000%2BG3ON77LGN.2-0.jpg?itok=1jx0J_tH1690880760

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I wonder if he's got through the entire squad yet.

I'd assume he has, multiple times by now.

[Dark Soldier]

Man looks like he has dynamite in his cock. Could be a villain from an episode of Bergerac.

[John Arne]

Luis Diaz is so, so good.

EDIT: Ben Doak, not Luis Diaz, who has given the ball away 5 times since I posted that.

[Luke Emia]

BBC reckons dislocated knee.

Saw one of those once in youth football and it was nasty.

I dislocated my knee playing football about 10 years ago was horrendous. Was even worse when it popped itself back in.

[Shindig]

I found out the other day Herve used to be a literal binman.

[phonics]

Yeah, was where he found his first sexy white shirt in a landfill. Was his Billys Boots moment.

[Bernanke]

Klaksvik. :cool: European football on the Faroe Islands for an entire group stage. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

That must be the most extraordinary couple of results for years, in terms of CL qualifying.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's going to be amazing.

[Bernanke]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/db/Vi%C3%B0_Dj%C3%BApum%C3%BDrar%2C_Klaksv%C3%ADk.jpg

:drool:

[Shindig]

Bring your walking boots, Kiko. :cool:

[niko_cee]

Isn't it more likely they'll end up in the wafer?

'mon the Brighton draw.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/db/Vi%C3%B0_Dj%C3%BApum%C3%BDrar%2C_Klaksv%C3%ADk.jpg

:drool:

Stunning.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If I were a jobbing ref on the mid-range European circuit I would do anything to get one of their home games. What a place.

[randomlegend]

Looking very much like Greenwood is coming back.

[Lewis]

I hope he's still class. He might get even better, like when Kobe Bryant got away with raping that woman and went on a ten year mad one.

[Lofty]

The funniest outcome would be him coming back and being absolutely wank, just to see the knots Utd twitter ties itself into.

[Lewis]

How the club responds to him being shit will be more interesting. If he wasn't so ace he would have been sacked the minute the story broke, so if he comes back crap the club can't just cut him loose because that will look too obvious, so they will have to keep him around or loan him to Southern European teams until his contract expires. That or just let him go for Mental Health reasons.

[Baz]

Isn't it more likely they'll end up in the wafer?

'mon the Brighton draw.

According to SOCCER TODAY or whatever:


KÍ is still a long way from the Champions League, but thanks to the extremely convoluted vagaries of UEFA’s myriad qualifying paths, the club from Klaksvik is already sure of a place in true European competition.

Teams that make it to the third qualifying round for the Champions League face two outcomes. Winners go through to the play-off round, which is the last step before being in the Champions League. Losers are sent to the Europa League’s play-off round, where bigger names like Ajax, Union Saint-Gilloise, and Aberdeen await. Victory there means a spot in the Europa League’s group stage, while defeat ends with a spot in the Conference League’s group stage.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm really surprised that an entity as corporate as Man U would risk the negative PR associated with fielding someone that everyone thinks is a rapist. Maybe his transfer value outweighs that on the books? I dunno.

[Luke Emia]

I'm really surprised that an entity as corporate as Man U would risk the negative PR associated with fielding someone that everyone thinks is a rapist. Maybe his transfer value outweighs that on the books? I dunno.

My thoughts as well. Surely he’s going to get called a rapist by every set of fans as well. What are they going to do? Just pretend it’s not happening at every game?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

If he does come back I really hope opposition fans rain down abuse on him hard.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can't think of a precedent, certainly not in English football. Obviously players have been accused of rape before but in cases like Chris Ronaldo and van Persie there was no evidence and it was probably balls. In this case everyone's heard the recording so they know it's at least true in spirit even if clearly not at the level required for a conviction to happen.

[John Arne]

Ched Evans is probably the closest case. He returned to the game and seemed to reintegrate after a while, albeit out of the Barclays PREMIER LEAGUE spotlight.

[Don]

If he does come back I really hope opposition fans rain down abuse on him hard.

1686739544631037952?s=20

Rest assured, he'll go off the rails. No chance any fuck can perform in these circumstances let alone some ratty kid like that.

[Mike]

The question is will United fans also boo him?

[Ben]

Ched Evans is probably the closest case. He returned to the game and seemed to reintegrate after a while, albeit out of the Barclays PREMIER LEAGUE spotlight.

Ched Evans was found not guilty on a retrial and managed to sue his lawyer out of a fuck load of money, so in many people's eyes there was a healthy dose of "innocence" there, something which Greenwood doesn't/won't have. He'll get slaughtered by all fans (possibly including his own).

[Lofty]

Gabriel Jesus knee injury keeps him out for first 6 weeks.

Not the same level as rape but my mate who was pro at Blackburn said there was a thief when he was there and they were going mental saying if the thief didn't own up they would be finished in football etc. Then they caught the thief and he was too talented/valuable, so he wasn't finished at all, in fact he went on to have a decent career.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The question is will United fans also boo him?
If Twitter is anything to go by, no chance. They've been clamouring for his return since he was first suspended.

For the fans with morals at the ground it will probably take a goal or two to forgive the scumbag.

[randomlegend]

I don't think football twitter is really any barometer at all of the feelings of match going fans.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If he was a Chelsea player I wouldn't want him anywhere near it. If he did play and scored, would I cheer? I guess so instinctively but I'd hate myself for it.

Mason: Put your legs up

Mason: (loudly) Move your fucking legs up

Harriet: No, I don't want to have to have sex

Mason: I don't give a fuck what you want you little shit

Harriet: Mason!

Mason: Shut up! Talking to me, Stop!

Harriet: Stop putting your dick there

Mason: I want to fuck you, you twat

Harriet: I don't wanna have sex with you

Mason: I don't care if you don't want sex with me. Damn me!

Harriet: Why... Why do you have to do this

Mason: Cause I asked you politely and you wouldn't do it

Harriet: *Incomprehensible* other people

Mason: I asked you politely and you wouldn't do it so what else do you want me to do

Harriet: You go fuck someone else

Mason: I don't wanna fuck someone else

Harriet: You do

Mason: No I don't

Mason: Push me again one more time and watch what happens to you

Harriet: No

[Giggles]

Didn't she drop the charges and stay with him? When she values herself so little you might as well just let him play and forget about it.

[Lofty]

To be fair to her it seems like her parents were massive fucking melts that had completely bought into her future with a PL star so I don't think she was getting much support at home. Her dad made some weird comments about it being a 'shame' the audio of Mason raping his daughter had leaked or something similar.

I don't have kids myself but I feel like the normal reaction would be to take a sledgehammer to the cunts knees and finish his career there and then.

[Ian]

He's definitely a violent rapey bastard and her feelings on it now don't alter that one way or the other so yeah, he can fuck off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

To be fair to her it seems like her parents were massive fucking melts that had completely bought into her future with a PL star so I don't think she was getting much support at home. Her dad made some weird comments about it being a 'shame' the audio of Mason raping his daughter had leaked or something similar.

I don't have kids myself but I feel like the normal reaction would be to take a sledgehammer to the cunts knees and finish his career there and then.

I can just imagine the conversation.

'This is your future, darling.'

[phonics]

The topic of this thread and the title of it certainly have some juxtaposition now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1686997687084982272

How about we move from rape to Tom Brady being a Brummie?

[Don]

https://www.theplayerstribune.com/posts/aaron-ramsdale-premier-league-arsenal-soccer-england

Jesus, no wonder Arsenal want to replace the melt.

[Lofty]

Nkunku crocked.

[Waffdon]

Fairly sure it was precaution. The pitch was a disgrace but he got tackled hard before going off when he somehow wasn’t awarded a penalty.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All the bot accounts simultaneously posting 'Great to see Nkunku walking :clapclap:' to footage of him hobbling along the touchline made for a laughter-filled early morning. He's signed for Chelsea as a big money forward, from here on in it's mainly about preserving a decent quality of life.

[Shindig]

I'm sorry, I just need to collect myself after seeing Tom Brady and Steve Bruce in the same video.

[Kikó]

I think greenwood coming back and bring accepted is more of a turnoff to watching United than the Qatar takeover.

[Manc]

Just think of the xG.

[Baz]

What’s his FPL price?

[SincereTheRebel]

If he was a Chelsea player I wouldn't want him anywhere near it. If he did play and scored, would I cheer? I guess so instinctively but I'd hate myself for it.

Mason: Put your legs up

Mason: (loudly) Move your fucking legs up

Harriet: No, I don't want to have to have sex

Mason: I don't give a fuck what you want you little shit

Harriet: Mason!

Mason: Shut up! Talking to me, Stop!

Harriet: Stop putting your dick there

Mason: I want to fuck you, you twat

Harriet: I don't wanna have sex with you

Mason: I don't care if you don't want sex with me. Damn me!

Harriet: Why... Why do you have to do this

Mason: Cause I asked you politely and you wouldn't do it

Harriet: *Incomprehensible* other people

Mason: I asked you politely and you wouldn't do it so what else do you want me to do

Harriet: You go fuck someone else

Mason: I don't wanna fuck someone else

Harriet: You do

Mason: No I don't

Mason: Push me again one more time and watch what happens to you

Harriet: No

Kink Shamming

[Giggles]

Alright sham.

[niko_cee]

Romeo "fifty million" Lavia only good enough for the Southampton bench.

Encouraging.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That is a lovely finish from Tella.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is there genuinely not going to be a PL team that picks up James Ward-Prowse? We've very much jumped the shark if so.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He's a bit too Charlie Adam.

[Lewis]

He's twenty-eight and offers nothing beyond set pieces, but Southampton would still want loads for him. Smart clubs aren't going to bother, which leaves Everton and West Ham, and they have other priorities.

[Gray Fox]

Had they not got Maddison, that would have had Spurs all over it. They might yet with the 'arry Kane money in their pockets soon.

[niko_cee]

So, are these new participation rules or whatever they are called going to be a harking back to the golden age rule adaptations [how many seconds were 'keepers allowed to hold the ball and what about that good old 'daylight' doozy?] where some teams get royally fucked early doors before they peter out of usage by late October, or is it going to be a season long clusterfuck of disciplinary bookings and the like when it turns out professional footballers are actually entirely unable to behave in an acceptable way towards officials?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Hope it's like this for Prem games.

Booking accas :drool:

[Gray Fox]

Romeo "fifty million" Lavia only good enough for the Southampton bench.

Encouraging.

Unused sub in a close away game suggests to me a deal may not be far off.

My personal prediction is the bid Southampton actually want goes in, tomorrow or Sunday and it's done early next week. Then a deal for this Andre to join in January is done.
If that's as it settles I'm not too unhappy. We'd have sent three sicknotes and a 37 year old out and replaced them with two exciting players. Fewer bodies in the squad but better actual quality.
Same for if we swap Hendo and Fabinho for Lavia and another. The former was entering his bit part role phase of his career and while I think the latter would have come good, you can't turn down a decent offer like that when it's a gamble if he doesn't or not.

It would also have completely removed the age issue from midfield inside one window.

[Jimmy Floyd]

So, are these new participation rules or whatever they are called going to be a harking back to the golden age rule adaptations [how many seconds were 'keepers allowed to hold the ball and what about that good old 'daylight' doozy?] where some teams get royally fucked early doors before they peter out of usage by late October, or is it going to be a season long clusterfuck of disciplinary bookings and the like when it turns out professional footballers are actually entirely unable to behave in an acceptable way towards officials?

I've long come to the conclusion that footballers and more to the point fans need to abuse the officials at least as much, if not more so, than they need to see the ball kicked around in a pleasing manner. It's an outlet for everyman frustration.

Bad for sponsors of course who need clean cut nice guys advertising their products.

[Andy]

Lavia will need a season at least before he's fit enough to be starting every week. We were lucky to get 90 minutes out of him in a normal 1 game week. I'm not sure if that's because we were protecting him or his age.

He should suit Klopps system perfectly though, surprises me that Liverpool didn't want to get the deal done ASAP and get him in for the fitness building part of pre season. We only seem to be around 10m apart which makes it even more strange.

Ward-Prowse I'm not surprised he's still on our books, wasn't great last season and has failed to step up over the last couple of years. Could probably do a job at mid table premier league side but I doubt any of them would pay the 40m or so we'd want and I think he'd rather stay with us for a season.

[Giggles]

Was Manning as good as I read on Twitter? The player tracker accounts here tend to go a bit ott at times.

[Don]

The Onana circus show is gonna be belting this season.

[Waffdon]

The Onana circus show is gonna be belting this season.

and Mount

1687796082456342529

[Kikó]

United are finished.

[Foe]

Getting payed here by Celtic but actually haven’t been bad.

Hopefully we play as well as this the rest of the season and might have a fighting chance of not
Finishing last.

[randomlegend]

I anticipate United being a bit rubbish and probably having a couple of maulings in the early part of the season.

Playing with a keeper like Onana instead of De Gea and the change in midfield shape is going to take time to click.

We all know my opinion on Mount.

[mo]

Game postponed at 2.30 on the first say of the season due to a waterlogged pitch - just grateful I didn't decide to make the journey to Colchester (once was enough).

[niko_cee]

Pete Winkelman's MK Dons [does he still own them?] rolling over HOLLYWOOD Wrexham AFC on the opening day would be quite funny in 'optics' terms.

[Mike]

The odds where silly too, my first bet of the season was a winner with an early payout though.

[Browning]

4-1 Dons and 4-0 Sutton. Never did understand why they were the 2 favourites. What a start.

[Yevrah]

Pete Winkelman's MK Dons [does he still own them?] rolling over HOLLYWOOD Wrexham AFC on the opening day would be quite funny in 'optics' terms.

While their manager has a decent track record there's more than a bit of the Roberto Martinez's about him and it looks like his team have taken a traditional FM rear guard fisting today.

[Don]

Their numbers would have warranted the odds, never doubt the market. Absolute lols at the bleached arsehole Hollywood wankers though, Dons have looked a bit of a shambles in pre-season too and aren't a great side.

[Yevrah]

8 shots on goal and 6 on target from MK Dons and they scored 5 times. :D

Were they all FIFA style pullbacks from someone cutting in from the wing?

[Gray Fox]

HMS Piss The League run aground already?

[Browning]

It’s a strange one because the stats say one thing but all the comments I am seeing on twitter, especially from Wrexham fans, is that they were completely outclassed today. Might actually watch the highlights for once assuming the EFL still has such a thing.

[Baz]

It’s a strange one because the stats say one thing but all the comments I am seeing on twitter, especially from Wrexham fans, is that they were completely outclassed today. Might actually watch the highlights for once assuming the EFL still has such a thing.
ITV 4 at 9pm on Saturdays.

[Yevrah]

It’s a strange one because the stats say one thing but all the comments I am seeing on twitter, especially from Wrexham fans, is that they were completely outclassed today. Might actually watch the highlights for once assuming the EFL still has such a thing.

I read those stats as a team with little to no defensive capability somehow deciding to exacerbate that by throwing the entire side up the pitch and then being systematically picked off. 'Outclassed' sounds an apt description to summarise it.

[Yevrah]

Mind you, I also read into it that had Mullin been playing it could have ended up 6-5.

[niko_cee]

I know it was probably already over before a ball was kicked, but lol at the football season in Scotland being over in the next 20 minutes.

Maybe you could say the same about England though.

[Don]

Benzema/Kante/Jota/Nuno getting murked by Kouli/Milinko/Neves/Jorge in the Nike Desert Cage tournament.

[-james-]

That Leicester line-up is quite absurd for the Championship.

[John Arne]

I tuned into USA-Sweden in the Women's World Cup... half the Sweden team look like they have never played football before. They can't even run properly.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a strange penalty to end it.

[John Arne]

Megan Rapino-going to the next round :)

[Ian]

Why did that need VAR? Don't the refs have the watch that tells them if the ball has gone in?

[John Arne]

What a strange penalty to end it.

I didn't think it had crossed, but apparently it did.

https://gyazo.com/f3357e36955033bbbdfcdcae57a1ea92.jpeg

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yeah I didn't think it had crossed live either.

I also didn't think that keepers could make a double save in a shootout.

[John Arne]

Hanoi Police v Hanoi FC just kicking off in Vietnam. Top 2 in the league, 1pt separates them,3 games left. Full house, and could get spicy.

https://live2.90phut9.live/truc-tiep/cong-an-ha-noi-vs-ha-noi-oIwQTi7

[Lewis]

1688154109772460032

Somebody mansplain the rules to them.

[niko_cee]

It was mad tight on the goal line thing [you wonder why it didn't instawork, isn't it meant to?] and not helped by the fact that the illustrated ball had the variable colour pattern on it which makes it look like it's not actually entirely over the line.

[Shindig]

A quick google seems to confirm the keeper can make limitless saves in a shootout.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, it's the taker who can't have more than one effort, and there was also that time where the 'keeper parried it miles in the air and ran off celebrating only to have the ball land and spin/bounce into the goal.

[phonics]

Starting the year with Havertz up front. Can't see this backfiring.

[Dark Soldier]

Lol Leeds

[Lofty]

Thought Martinelli wasn't fit, yet there he is.

[randomlegend]

Starting the year with Havertz up front. Can't see this backfiring.

False 9 mate. Just needs Arteta's genius to unlock him mate.

[Don]

The useless gyppo is also seemingly copying Pep's move to CBs at fullback.

[Lewis]

I thought 'lol Carl Palmer', but it turns out to be Cole Palmer, and he turns out to be mixed-race.

https://i.imgur.com/p8Pfv0P.png

Was that his first time outside?

[randomlegend]

Haaland with 0.00 expected goals before going off. Fraud?

[Don]

That's mad. Although he's got the swagger of a non-white, geezer's throwing his hands around and having a strop at not being passed to multiple times before that. Fucking replaced Mahrez with a regen and gifted England another world class footballer (lol at Gareth trying to use this kid), get the fuck out of here Pep.

[Lewis]

Did he just say 'it's a Saka punch for City'?

[Shindig]

Newcastle round off pre-season with a 4-0 win over Villareal. Harvey Barnes got two of them with Joelinton and Murphy getting the others. We take home the Sela Cup which gives me an immediate question: Do those friendly trophies have a long life? They must get melted down when, say a shirt sponsor deal expires.

[phonics]

Never in doubt.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The VAR who overturned that LIONESSES penalty just now is doing their final top level game. No coming back from that sort of nonsense decision.

[Offshore Toon]

I don't care if Harvey Barnes outscores Haaland, I will never celebrate him.

[Don]

Ramsdale's comments :D He must be close to a mental breakdown soon.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't care if Harvey Barnes outscores Haaland, I will never celebrate him.

What did he do? Replace ASM?

[niko_cee]

The VAR who overturned that LIONESSES penalty just now is doing their final top level game. No coming back from that sort of nonsense decision.

Bollocks to that. Absolutely never a penalty and the mantra of 'any contact validates an onfield decision' is just as stupid as the 'any contact's a foul' theory implemented in VAR's first season.

VAR is obviously an absolute blight on the game, but if it is to persist then eliminating 'clever play' [ie backing in to someone then falling over] might be one of its few boons.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bollocks to that. Absolutely never a penalty and the mantra of 'any contact validates an onfield decision' is just as stupid as the 'any contact's a foul' theory implemented in VAR's first season.

VAR is obviously an absolute blight on the game, but if it is to persist then eliminating 'clever play' [ie backing in to someone then falling over] might be one of its few boons.

It was a soft call on-field but the decision to overturn was absolutely scandalous. Not how VAR works.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

VAR should have got involved there and sent off James.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She's gone.

[John Arne]

With the FA now finally doing something about minutes in play and all that jazz... something else has to give on the other side.
More minutes per game, more Champions Leagues games, it's getting a bit silly.

- Do away with the League Cup (could happen)
- Less teams qualifying for Europe (will never happen)
- Do away with max squad size limits (doesn't help smaller teams)

[Jimmy Floyd]

Footballers are so thick, it's unbelievable sometimes.

[niko_cee]

Defeat on penalties inbound for the ladies to have gone through the full mens team story arc in record time.

[Manc]

Nobody does hero to zero better than England. Effigies at the ready.

[Lofty]

Nigeria playing Sam Allardyce's Bolton to England's impersonation of Arsene Wenger's technical midgets circa 2010.

Come on Nigeria, amazonian beauties :wub:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a shocking penalty.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What the fuck.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Nigeria heads have gone.

[Spikey M]

Come on Nigeria, amazonian beauties :wub:
Wrong continent m8.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nigeria manager's haircut has cost them badly here.

[Giggles]

Nobody was ever losing at penalties to Africans.

[randomlegend]

Nobody was ever losing at penalties to Africans.

Have you never watched an AFCON penalty shootout? 20 penalties in a row howitzered into the top corners.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We could well shit our way to the title, the way the draw is, or at least very close to it. Australia or France in the semis will be fun.

I'm not sure why they've set up the draw so that you could play your group opponents in the semi-finals.

[Lofty]

Aren't they all Americans though?

[Adramelch]

I am watching the UEFA draws and I almost got a headache from the explanation of how the Europa League draw works. So needlessly complicated.

Also the very first draw has 2 Ukrainian teams in it, which doesn't quite seem right. Presumably they've done away with same country restrictions?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm not sure if there were ever same-country restrictions in qualifying rounds, it would just be very rare for one to come up.

[Adramelch]

The restriction was there in the previous round draw. I am assuming it's not applied here because it was create an even more complicated system.

Edit: Doing a bit more digging, it's only a thing for the playoff round specifically and was introduced when the Conference League became a thing.

[Giggles]

Have you never watched an AFCON penalty shootout? 20 penalties in a row howitzered into the top corners.

So 20 consecutive penalties not stopped?

[niko_cee]

Dunno about 20 in a row but there have been a few humdingers in the Afcon over the years.

[Offshore Toon]

What did he do? Replace ASM?
Basically. He represents everything I hate about modern football.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There was a 22 in a row in Cameroon v Ivory Coast one year, before Eto'o missed his second kick to decide it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/66426840

The Daily Mail side of me wants to shout that Mad Men 'That's what the money is for!' line at them ad infinitum. Even the Guardian side of me however is struggling to reconcile longer injury time conventions with the requirement not to show dissent towards referees.

[Shindig]

There was a 22 in a row in Cameroon v Ivory Coast one year, before Eto'o missed his second kick to decide it.

Was that the year Rachmane Barry put home the winner?

[Giggles]

That'll end well.


1688564296114929665

[Waffdon]

Nkunku crocked.

Sounds like you were right. Couple months. The jinx rolls on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Someone needs to make that pre-season prediction thread for my benefit. We're going DOWN.

[Gray Fox]

First game of the season is going to be comical. Liverpool seem to have re-adopted the "score one more than you" brand of 2015-18. Zero defending attempted.

[Don]

Fuck me, the malnourished favela cunt has pulled off a Zola/Mancini :drool:

I only tuned in at HT but safe to say, we're fucked without an elite holder. And a very good CB.

[Waffdon]

First game of the season is going to be comical. Liverpool seem to have re-adopted the "score one more than you" brand of 2015-18. Zero defending attempted.

Chelsea are alright defensively at least. Hopefully Silva isn’t playing but he probably will. Caicedo in time for Liverpool would be lovely.

[Don]

Sell the muslim cunt if he's threatening to take mins off Waff's boy :drool:

[Adramelch]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-12384411/Champions-League-match-postponed-Greek-fan-dies-age-29-overnight-clashes-AEK-Athens-Dinamo-Zagreb-supporters-98-arrested-eight-people-injured.html

At what point do you start holding the clubs/associations accountable? Not that easy in this particular case I guess, but still.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nkunku out for 'an extended period' because we wanted to play Dortmund on a joke playing surface in the United States. Hope the amount of money they made from that game is worth being 17th in November because we can't score goals for love nor money.

[Waffdon]

Season over

The pitch was horrendous but he got kicked in the knee by Hummels so not sure it would have made a difference how good or bad the playing surface was

[randomlegend]

Looking like Lopetegui is going to leave.

[Lofty]

The yank surfaces were disgraceful in preseason, I think if Stan the man hadn't owned the stadium for the Arsenal Barca match it might have been called off, the staff looked totally fucked off with it. Surely if they want these games and the luxury of charging $100 for a bottle of water they need to do better than sticking squares of turf down 24 hours prior.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Looking like Lopetegui is going to leave.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/66437744

And he's gone.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Klaksvik. :cool: European football on the Faroe Islands for an entire group stage. :drool:

They won 2-1 today...

If they sneak into the Champions League :drool:

[Bernanke]

They won 2-1 today...

If they sneak into the Champions League :drool:

The goals. :drool:

https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/15ltde3/klaksvik_1_1_molde_afrederiksberg_64_great_goal/

https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/15ltgf1/klaksvik_2_1_molde_afrederiksberg_86_great_goal/

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

6 goals in 5 for him now.

They should build a statue.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It'll be amazing if they get to the next CL round, if only because they'll then play Galatasaray, who will then be forced to welcome-to-hell a load of subsistence fishermen.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://apnews.com/article/aek-soccer-fan-death-greece-aek-dinamo-8a3be53903a1697fa7ce4297f38e7c7b

Also missed this... surely Dinamo should simply be thrown out.

[Ben]

1689032355564916736

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

[SincereTheRebel]

Wolves. Fully fucked it lads.

[Adramelch]

https://apnews.com/article/aek-soccer-fan-death-greece-aek-dinamo-8a3be53903a1697fa7ce4297f38e7c7b

Also missed this... surely Dinamo should simply be thrown out.

Ye I mentioned something similar a couple days back, but I could see the argument "how do we know they are Dinamo fans" being thrown about in that case. I say you just punish the whole association (however harsh it'll be for the other Croatian clubs) and be done with it. They'll never do it of course, but that's what needs to be done.

The other farce in the whole situation is that apparently Montenegrin authorities alerted the Greek ones a day prior, there also were calls from northern Greece talking about a convoy with Croatian plates and full of skinheads and yet nothing was done. They pretty much let it happen.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There is of course precedent for UEFA punishing a whole association for the actions of one club's violent fans. It's ok when it's cuddly Balkan nazis though.

[Waffdon]

Ye I mentioned something similar a couple days back, but I could see the argument "how do we know they are Dinamo fans" being thrown about in that case. I say you just punish the whole association (however harsh it'll be for the other Croatian clubs) and be done with it. They'll never do it of course, but that's what needs to be done.

The other farce in the whole situation is that apparently Montenegrin authorities alerted the Greek ones a day prior, there also were calls from northern Greece talking about a convoy with Croatian plates and full of skinheads and yet nothing was done. They pretty much let it happen.

I’ll never forgive UEFA for not throwing your lot out of the UEFA Cup in 2011 when you never had a stadium ready. Fuck you Papa Bouba Diop

[Waffdon]

Also lol at Lukaku. He has to be the most despised player alive. He managed to piss off Inter fans and now he has Juventus fans invading the pitch to protest about him potentially signing

[Adramelch]

I’ll never forgive UEFA for not throwing your lot out of the UEFA Cup in 2011 when you never had a stadium ready. Fuck you Papa Bouba Diop

If I remember the occasion, we were meant to play in a different stadium and that team's ultras broke into the stadium and tore the place up just so that we wouldn't play there. A proper joke and an accurate depiction of the stupidity among Greek fans to be honest.

[Waffdon]

Yep. Only playing at a different stadium in the first place because your pitch wasn’t suitable to host a match and UEFA ordered a change of venue. Cocks

[Adramelch]

"For all events in Greece, the organizers bear the greatest responsibility, that is, the Greek police and AEK as the host club."

That's what Dinamo said (among other things) in a statement. They are not completely wrong mind you, but that's not something you say when your fans just killed somebody (by stabbing them repeatedly, no less). Just kick them out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Which they have to say because like most clubs in the region they are completely in hock to their Nazi ultras.

[Raoul Duke]

Everything and anything to do with "ultras" should be fired into the sun

[John Arne]

Barcelona have moved to the Olimpic Lluis Companys for a couple of years, so the club decided to run a lottery for season ticket holders, as at the Nou Camp they had 83k season ticket holders, whilst the new ground would be just 27k... they then scraped it after after only 7,000 applied for new season tickets. #RealFans

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Didn't take long for the lanky freak to get off the mark.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

De Bruyne is made of glass.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Title over already. Only chance of stopping City would be them tripping up in games like this.

[randomlegend]

Well I think they will likely win the title, but there is more than one game like this in the season.

[Shindig]

I still have question marks about them when De Bruyne is out injured. Mahrez might be a miss, too. Not that I think there's another team that can challenge them closely.

[phonics]

De Bruynes insisting that he must beat Arsenal, losing and then breaking his hamstring in the process. Perfect.

[John Arne]

Bobby hattrick on debut 😘

And Mendy with a fuck up 😂

[Ian]

An all-timer of a miss in the women's quarter final.

[Dark Soldier]

But at least she tried, she gave it her best.

[randomlegend]

Greenwood has been added back into the United squad in eFootball (formally PES) after being removed when the investigation started.

Given they're one of United's official partners I'd imagine it's decided he's coming back.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

France bringing on a PENALTY SPECIALIST KEEPER :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Greenwood has been added back into the United squad in eFootball (formally PES) after being removed when the investigation started.

Given they're one of United's official partners I'd imagine it's decided he's coming back.

Fuck the club.

[Waffdon]

That Arsenal team. clearly Arteta isn’t too worried about the Nottm Forest goal threat.

[randomlegend]

Rice - Havertz - Odegaard midfield is pretty lol.

[randomlegend]

Mbappe, Neymar and Verratti all left out of PSG's match squad.

What an institution that club is.

[phonics]

Absolute scenes. Arsenal Twitter is in full panic.

[Waffdon]

Rice - Havertz - Odegaard midfield is pretty lol.

Rice is at centre back

Unless they’re playing Partey there. Which would be dumb

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Partey is at RB.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1PM kick off might be ambitious. The stadium is empty.

[Shindig]

All glory to our automated future.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That was a golden chance.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's a beautiful strike.

[Waffdon]

Yeah, Saka is ridiculous. Southgate had him at wing back once upon a time :D

[Lofty]

That shit midfield doing alright after all.

[Waffdon]

I’m not sure Nottingham Forest at home is a real litmus test

I doubt they play with Havertz/Odegaard together in midfield against good teams anyway.

[Foe]

Yeah, Saka is ridiculous. Southgate had him at wing back once upon a time :D

Arsenal kept playing him at full back for a while when it was absolutely clear he was a winger. Probably down as “education” but Jesus Christ keep the boy forward, he’s absolutely fantastic.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That could be a big injury for Timber.

[phonics]

There’s defending deep and having 15% possession after 60 minutes…

[phonics]

Forest manager looks like he should be running a Wetherspoons not a football club.

[Don]

Milner in the heart of De Zerbi-Ball should be fascinating.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Elanga :drool:

[Don]

That's a Tijani Babangida special from the useless Swede.

[Don]

Brighton are gonna have to put that £100m+ to serious use. Milner is playing in a back 3 alongside a gangly Aryan accident waiting to happen with Estupinan doing his usual abandonement of defensive duties. The Syrian refugee is not cut out for this level either and they have nothing in midfield as a result. Lucky they're facing a champ side.

[wullie]

Michael Carrick's side are winless in their last seven Championship games - four of those coming against Coventry


weeeeey

[Shindig]

We've started like a train on fire. Or something.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Tonali is such a don.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Nice finish.

[Shindig]

Safe to say this is as daft as the pre-season game.

[Waffdon]

If City didn’t exist this league would be properly tasty this season

[Don]

Love to see big clumsy fuckers hurt themselves from trying to make it physical. Hope Mings has fucked his cruciates.

[Spikey M]

I see Everton are still shit, which is nice. Sadly I fear the likes of Luton and Sheffield United are going to do the hard work of keeping them up this year.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Emi Martinez is a lucky boy.

[Waffdon]

The spine of Newcastle’s team is pretty fucking good.

[Shindig]

Top of the league. :D

[Danny]

Kane instant impact. 2-0 Leipzig

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

3-0 now.

It seems he's the true bottler.

[Waffdon]

Can’t believe Dortmund bottled the league to this lot

[randomlegend]

Emi Martinez is a lucky boy.

Just seen this on MOTD, ridiculous decision not to send him off.

[-james-]

Caught the Newcastle game yesterday, thought Anthony Gordon was very good. Amazing what a ruinous effect being a ratty faced scouser can have on public perception.

[Manc]

He was levels above in the Euro U21s.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Kick-off delay due to sanitation is a new one.

[Waffdon]

10. Mac Allister ����
8. Szoboszlai ����
18. Gakpo ����
23. Luis Díaz ����
11. M. Salah ����
20. Diogo J.

If this game ends 0-0 with Liverpool playing that attacking then it’s a confirmed cursed game.

[Waffdon]

Sterling still starting over Mudryk in 2023. Fuck me sideways.

Chelsea also going to a back 3 which they didn’t really play at all in pre season.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The new Spurs keeper looks shaky.

[niko_cee]

That Liverpool team is the sort of shit you used to be able to role out on CM2. Not sure about its real life application.

[Lofty]

I am taking Jim and the Chelsea intention to spunk 160 million quid on midfielders as a sign that Liverpool are going eviscerate them as it rains yellow cards.

[Gray Fox]

Who scores first should win. Neither team would cope well chasing the game.

[Shindig]

Liverpool spent a lot of last season chasing games. They've got a 2-2 draw in them.

[niko_cee]

Haven't the last 6 between these two been draws, including 4 0-0s on the bounce? When was the last time Chelsea won this fixture? They must be due some sort of historic correction at some point. Hopefully not today.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Haven't the last 6 between these two been draws, including 4 0-0s on the bounce? When was the last time Chelsea won this fixture? They must be due some sort of historic correction at some point. Hopefully not today.

They won in March 2021 at your place, 1-0.

[Gray Fox]

I forgot we don't have Martin Tyler. What a joyous day.

[Waffdon]

This set up looks tragic. Why on earth is Chilwell at left mid/3rd centre mid and Colwill at left back.

[randomlegend]

Both those midfields are absolutely honking.

[Gray Fox]

Mac Allister just wants to go forwards. A proper DM here and we'd wipe the floor with them.

[Gray Fox]

Going forwards they can't cope.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Nice to see Chelsea still don't know how to defend.

[Don]

All Mac and Szob that. Fab and Hendo would still be trying to get it past the halfway line as we speak.

[Don]

Both those midfields are absolutely honking.

:lol: