April Women's Football Thread

[SincereTheRebel]

Discovering Illan Meslier is 6'6" has broken my brain.

He also looks 14

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Man City getting a dodgy penalty (he got the ball) against a weak team. I'm shocked.

[Waffdon]

Tuchel taking over from Nagelsmann looking like an absolute disaster.

[Shindig]

Jussi Jaskaleinen's son turned out against Gateshead today. 2-1 defeat so we're clearly focused on the FA Trophy final.

[niko_cee]

Without making any judgment as to the legitimacy of them, the sheer number of penalties City seem to have had this season is insane. Must be double figures.

[Lewis]

'Paul Heckingbottom' is a good manager of a Sheffield football team name.

[Lewis]

What was that defending? It was like FIFA with the controller pulled out.

[Baz]

Is Spammer still about?

[Waffdon]

This game kicking off at 16.45 is technically illegal. SFA should sue.

[niko_cee]

10k plus empty seats at the semi and City want to build a bigger stadium?

:harold:

Brighton sold their allocation, and the next allocation they got pretty much off the bat.

[Luke Emia]

10k plus empty seats at the semi and City want to build a bigger stadium?

:harold:

Brighton sold their allocation, and the next allocation they got pretty much off the bat.

The owners can't give away tickets to the semi-final though can they?

[Shindig]

Yeah, that's entirely down to the FA. And City's not going to say, "Yeah, send some more Sheffield United's way." in case a bunch of fairweathers turn up in City shirts.

[wullie]

We're now in 5th somehow after we beat Reading and pretty much everything else went our way, especially Blackburn conceding another injury time equaliser thanks to an own goal by Dom Hyam who we sold to them earlier in the season to raise emergency funds and never asked to leave. Good week for conspiracy theorists round Blackburn way

[Shindig]

I eagerly await 3pm when everyone's phone goes apeshit at the start of the second half.

[Ben]

How was yesterday’s semi final exempt from the Saturday afternoon blackout?

EDIT: Oh, it seems it’s an FA rule, not a Government law, so they lifted it on advice of the police.

[Gray Fox]

Newcastle v Spurs today. I expect Spurs to take some kind of unexpected lead before catastrophically imploding to hand it to Newcastle.

A win for Newcastle probably sees them safely finishing top 4. Anything else could bring others into play, but Brighton have quite the tough run in and Spurs are Spurs.

Villa and Liverpool you're probably needing to win all remaining games, which considering they play each other, rules that out for at least one of them.

[Waffdon]

If it finishes a draw they’re both probably going to bottle it and let Liverpool somehow sneak into top 4. What a grim thought

[Waffdon]

Never thought I’d see the day Man Utd were the underdogs with the bookies in a Cup Semi Final against fucking Brighton.

0-2 Man Utd all over this

[Yevrah]

Lively start here.

[Gray Fox]

Spurs just cutting straight to the catastrophic implosion. Admirable for not wasting everyones time.

[Waffdon]

Lovely touch and pass but lol at Pedro Porro. He has looked absolutely tragic. Should have known he was bad when he was hooked at half time against fkn Scotland

[Yevrah]

What in the actual fuck. :D

[Waffdon]

They’ve obviously spent money but it’s some effort from Howe to get a front 3 with Jacob Murphy and Joelinton playing so well throughout the season.

[Baz]

This is extraordinary.

[Gray Fox]

Spurs sacked their manager when they were 4th still, right?

[Yevrah]

What am I watching?

[Lofty]

Partridge: and another one!

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Good Lord.

[Ben]

Lloris and Dier are embarrassing.

[Pleb]

Betting firms are suspending all the odds at this rate.

[niko_cee]

Erm, just clicked this on, what the fuck has happened here?

[other than the history of Tottenham etc]

[Spikey M]

How the fuck? :D

[Pleb]

Erm, just clicked this on, what the fuck has happened here?

[other than the history of Tottenham etc]
Lad's it's Spurs also no football was played from them for the first 25 minutes or so.

[7om]

Why was Conte sacked? He had them on the verges of Champions League qualification. They look like a pub team now.

[Pleb]

He had a pop at Levy.

[niko_cee]

He was sacked because he's an unstable lunatic.

They were also dreadful when he was in charge.

[Clunge]

Is Pedro Porro always this bad?

[Spikey M]

The players are basically on strike, aren't they?

[Waffdon]

I just clocked that they’re playing a back four with Dier in there and basically two wingers at full back. No wonder the score line is what it is, basically playing a back 2 with Dier pretending to be a footballer

[Ben]

I just clocked that they’re playing a back four with Dier in there and basically two wingers at full back. No wonder the score line is what it is, basically playing a back 2 with Dier pretending to be a footballer

To be fair it was a good bit of coaching to abandon that after only 20 minutes and revert to the five at the back.

[Gray Fox]

Hugo Lloris should never play for them again.

[Ben]

Lloris :lol:

[Gray Fox]

Very on brand for a Frenchie to surrender and run away though.

[niko_cee]

What was he up to for that thrid Newcastle goal? Just seemed to watch it go in.

[Ben]

Porro has had a tragic afternoon.

[Shindig]

Imagine my shock checking the score at half time. :D

[Lewis]

That United back four has got disaster written all over it.

[Waffdon]

Adam Webster over Colwill is a disgrace

Edit: no Ferguson either so this is a standard Man Utd win

[niko_cee]

Why are Newcastle parading around like it's the end of the season and they've won the league?

[Shindig]

We do it every game. And every week someone else asks.

[Waffdon]

And that fucking dressing room photo

[Offshore Toon]

Jacob Murphy. :cool:

[Giggles]

Why are Newcastle parading around like it's the end of the season and they've won the league?

They pulled that a few weeks ago too. They’ll never be anything with that small timing.

[Manc]

Really hope Lineker asks Schmeichel just why he was lobbed so much.

[Giggles]

Definitely time they went back to the proper way of playing these at a neutral venue that isn’t Wembley.

[Waffdon]

Gotta pay off Wembley somehow

[Waffdon]

Solly March playing really well so far for Man Utd at right back

[randomlegend]

Warn-Bissarka is a new one.

[Ben]

Blowing for half-time as the ball is on its way into the United box is a new one.

[Ian]

Warn-Bissarka is a new one.

We had a 'Darlut' as well.

[Kikó]

Glad it's only 0-0.

[Waffdon]

Solly March needs put out his misery and as do I. He’s making my eyes bleed

[Shindig]

This has really dragged.

[Ben]

What's with the current trend of close up shots of the crowd?

Does anyone think it adds to the viewing experience? Thought not.

[Shindig]

Is it not because the match is a bit shite?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Man City getting another easy opponent in a cup game for the final then.

[Lewis]

I'm sat here doubled over, spewing, in advance of the penalty shitshow. Do United have a capable penalty saver on the bench?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Butland is on the bench.

5 penalties saved out of 34 in non-shootouts. Which is worse than De Gea's record in non-shootouts.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mitoma is lucky not to get a second yellow for that challenge.

[Lewis]

United will miss at least two penalties, and Dave Gayer won't get anywhere near the Brighton ones.

[Ian]

Not looking forward to this.

[Lewis]

He's even gone the wrong way for the coin.

[Lewis]

Oh no.

[Lewis]

Well done.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I was sure that Sancho was missing that.

[Lewis]

Would Luke Shaw - say - do a worse job facing these penalties?

[Lewis]

Mate all you had to do was hit the goal.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sololy March.

[Baz]

Worst game of his life.

[Ian]

March put off by Dave's intimidating aura. :drool:

[Waffdon]

Colour me shocked it was March who failed his penalty. Proper horrendous stuff keeping him on

[Gray Fox]

Look at that. City with another easy draw against a smaller team in the next round.

[Lewis]

Glenn Murray almost pulls it off in the close-ups, but then the wide shots reveal that he has hair like candy floss. Terrible day for him.

[niko_cee]

Pretty much all on Taz and his fucking predictions for that. I hope everyone in Brighton sends him anthrax in the post.

[Lewis]

Or just leaves it within fifty miles of him.

[Shindig]

I'm sure Mitoma will dribble up to his front door with it and then fall over.

[niko_cee]

Maybe the analytics of 'not signing a striker' and playing Danny Welbeck weren't as clever as first thought.

[Danny]

Pretty much all on Taz and his fucking predictions for that. I hope everyone in Brighton sends him anthrax in the post.

The real BazBot is betting the other way.

[Kikó]

Hope it's not 6-0 in the final.

[randomlegend]

Never in doubt.

[Giggles]

Maybe the analytics of 'not signing a striker' and playing Danny Welbeck weren't as clever as first thought.

I know Ferguson doesn’t really count because he isn’t English/French/Chilean/Somalian/Fijian/etc, but why was he left out today?

[Luke Emia]

I know Ferguson doesn’t really count because he isn’t English/French/Chilean/Somalian/Fijian/etc, but why was he left out today?

Injured.

[Manc]

Had to attend a dinner date with Sir Gareth.

[niko_cee]

I know Ferguson doesn’t really count because he isn’t English/French/Chilean/Somalian/Fijian/etc, but why was he left out today?

He did his ankle or something against Chelsea last week, sadly.

[Don]

Can't tell if Conte was working wonders or if this is what happens when you make a Conte side revert to a back four.

Shame about Brighton but a final hammering is more sweet I guess.

[John Arne]

King Kazu made his debut for Oliveirense in the Portuguese second division last weekend, at the tender age of 56 years old.

He has been phoning it in, in Japan for a good 15 years now, so this is obviously some sort of PR stunt.

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/f753e932474e6a498e0c55f1b75dccbb591051ae/146_150_2284_1370/master/2284.jpg?width=620&quality=45&dpr=2&s=none

[Ian]

Yeah I looked up his stats one day and couldn't figure out what his employers have been getting out of it because he seems to have been pretty shit for a long time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

As you would probably expect from someone in their mid fifties. I guess it beats getting a proper job.

[randomlegend]

Chelsea close to appointing Poch apparently.

[niko_cee]

Spurs have sacked the caretaker, lol, and presumably installed the binman [Mason].

[Shindig]

What a right state. Glad we could help. :D

[Ben]

Incredible.

[Spikey M]

I'd love to know who they're going to bring in. Surely no up and coming manager is going to risk their reputation there and they've exhausted most of the previously successful dinosaurs.

Hopefully they get Bielsa. If they can't be good they may as well be hilarious.

[Ben]

Barcelona not wanting Spurs to outdo them.

https://www.skysports.com/football/news/11095/12865122/barcelona-make-chelseas-pierre-emerick-aubameyang-top-no-9-target-liverpools-roberto-firmino-on-shortlist

[Spikey M]

It's just blatant money laundering this stuff. Like the David Luiz transfer merry-go-round a few years back.

[Gray Fox]

Bad news for Waff. Chelsea have shut down Mount and James for the rest of the season.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Wasn't it them who were meant to be banging each other? 'Pelvic injury' sounds too convenient.

[Don]

Playing 12 games a year is also a very convenient way to keep yourself in the BEST ENGLISH RB conversations, especially after few made much noise about you getting raped sideways by Vinny.

Other great tactics to try and enter the non-existant BEST ENGLISH RB debate are to play for a shit bus-parking side where you're not required to stray beyond your own third of the pitch and hopefully never meet truly elite level opposition but build enough of a tackling highlight reel against your mediocre shit.

[Ian]

It's just blatant money laundering this stuff. Like the David Luiz transfer merry-go-round a few years back.

This is a long read but it's quite interesting I thought and partly covers some of the stuff around these sorts of transfers: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2023/apr/25/inside-the-crisis-at-juventus-andrea-agnelli-fabio-paratici-plusvalenze

[Waffdon]

Bad news for Waff. Chelsea have shut down Mount and James for the rest of the season.

That’s good news. James should now get his surgery. Playing anyone but younger players who are going to be playing next season is utterly pointless but I completely expect Lampard to play Aubameyang, Azpilicueta, Kovacic, Sterling etc

[Magic]

Dreading tonight. Maddison hatrick.

[Gray Fox]

If Leeds can hold onto this, Leicesters next game is at home to Everton. A winner in that one surely would condemn the bottom 3 to their fate.

[Magic]

5-1 coming up.

[Clunge]

villa Villa VILLA VILLA Villa villa

[Manc]

Bamford. :facepalm:

[Alex]

Bamford. :facepalm:

Absolutely stealing a living. Although the same could be said for basically all of them. I've no interest in seeing 90% of them wear a Leeds shirt again once the season is over. At least if (when) we do go down the situation will be better suited to moving all these useless cunts on.

[Lofty]

Fully expecting Arsenal to get battered tonight. The only way I can see it being avoided is if Arteta gambles and goes 3-2-4-1 to allow Holding and Partey to be dropped. If Holding starts lump on his booking because Haaland terrorised him in the cup game at the Etihad. Could be a repeat of last season's collapse against Spurs with a Holding red.

[Ben]

That Polish lad must not be up to scratch if Holding is getting all this game time.

[Don]

Some cunt on the radio called it one of the biggest games in English football history :lol:

[niko_cee]

Yeah, I saw the BBC were running with that too. Erm, OK.

[Magic]

A team that's spent loads of money vs a team that's spent loads of money. Yay.

[Giggles]

Every team spends loads of money.

[Manc]

You have to feel for Rob Holding. Seems to be taking the brunt of the blame for this dip in form when others are far more culpable.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If he was called Roberto Teniendo and a new signing from River Plate he'd be lauded as the greatest defender since Baresi.

[SincereTheRebel]

You have to feel for Rob Holding. Seems to be taking the brunt of the blame for this dip in form when others are far more culpable.

I dont. He is living good. That new trim he has is exceptional.

[phonics]

A team that's spent loads of money vs a team that's spent loads of money. Yay.

Leeds paid 35 million quid for a player they didn't even sign.

[Waffdon]

1651281349276315648

Oh my days. Bring back Potter. 5 at the back and 4 centre mids with no striker at home to Brentford. Nothing to play for and isn’t even bothering trying to integrate the signings in January into the squad never mind youth players

[Giggles]

You may close the wank bank for the evening.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'll reopen it for 'Enzo' not having a surname.

[Giggles]

I'll reopen it for 'Enzo' not having a surname.

Is ‘Enzo’ a young English man? No. So Waff’s mickey is safely tucked into his y fronts.

[Waffdon]

Hahahahah what

[Lewis]

That Chelsea team is rubbish. Could anyone get results with those players?

[Waffdon]

Certainly not that starting 11. It’s just the same as last week but sticking men behind the ball and running about daft at home to Real Madrid is a lot different to playing Brentford at home.

[Ian]

Look, lads, I think you HATERS are underestimating just how much Lampard knows the league and how little time he spends on a skateboard.

[Gray Fox]

And importantly he Knows The Club.

[Gray Fox]

Excellent work to concede the first shot we've faced yet again, deflection or no.

[Gray Fox]

No idea how either goal has gone in here.

[Don]

I wouldn't rule out an Arsenal comeback here with Martin Odegaard pulling the strings in the middle.

[Luke Emia]

Yeah, I saw the BBC were running with that too. Erm, OK.

Yeah I’ve heard it called the ‘tightest title race in years’ conveniently forgetting that 2 of the last 4 seasons have been decided by one point.

[phonics]

Yeah, they're just better than us. Ah well.

[Luke Emia]

Yeah, they're just better than us. Ah well.

If Arsenal can keep it to one till half time they will still be in it. Problem is I think in all reality they need to win this not just draw.

[phonics]

Yeah I'm not ruling out a possible result but they're just clearly a level above.

[Gray Fox]

Thoroughly entertaining game against West Ham.

Liverpools new idea of just tucking Trent into central midfield and playing no one else in at RB is very interesting. It's paying clear dividends going forwards. You can see every time he gets the ball he looks to play it forwards. The opposite to Henderson who is looking a bit long in the tooth for the job he's being asked to do.

However West Hams attacks are all down their left channel. A couple of upgrades on Henderson and Curtis Jones into this would be very good I think.

[Gray Fox]

https://i.gyazo.com/3c0536e8fb12fe96249beb711d068594.png

Never mind Merse.

[niko_cee]

It's better this way Arsenal fans. Better than hanging on until the very last game of the season and losing it then. The Jose Mourinho 2nd Place Trophy [not to be confused the the Arsene Wenger 4th Place Trophy] still an admirable achievement, not least when they are all upgraded to full titles.

[Lewis]

The This Arsenal Team trophy. Similar to the old Moral Championship they used to win every season under Arsene Wenger, but based on the Likeability of This Arsenal Team.

[phonics]

Honestly they're so much better than us I already came to terms that it was never happening about 8 minutes in.

[Kikó]

City have been the best team by a mile for about 6 years. It's just they had someone who could almost match them a few times in Liverpool.

[phonics]

'Mon De Zerbi is my only takeaway.

[Gray Fox]

The levels we had to get to, to match and beat them were ludicrous.

[Luke Emia]

The levels we had to get to, to match and beat them were ludicrous.

Yep, what will this be 6 out of 7 titles. People talk about Spain, Italy and Germany but this is becoming the same at the minute.

As much as I dislike United at least what they did was built from good management of a football club and not just getting a countries airline to pop them a few quid every time they were short of cash.

[Manc]

The fuck are Brighton playing at?

[phonics]

It's like they have an extra man on the pitch.

[Luke Emia]

The fuck are Brighton playing at?

Doing a fantastic job of ensuring that Everton get relegated.

[7om]

Is there anything more plastic than Citeh fans doing “the Poznan”?

[Waffdon]

Not a chance it happens but if Everton and Leicester hit a patch of decent form to end the season this Chelsea side under Lampard might genuinely go down :lol:

Chelsea still have to go to Arsenal, Man City and Man Utd and have Newcastle to play as well. That’s 4 losses and an aggregate score of -15

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's impossible to describe how bad Chelsea are. They make the lol Chelsea sides of the mid 90s - Gavin Peacock et al - look like Brazil 1970. We simply aren't going to score again this season unless we come up against some dogshit XI who chuck one in for us by default.

[Don]

Potter stock is through the roof.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A good example of why you should never listen to the fans.

[Waffdon]

Potter was doing the exact same thing as Lampard. I just assumed the latter would go back to his fun football that ended up getting him sacked the first time by being a bit too open. None of that though, proper grim selections throughout.

Thiago casually catching the ball twice there not worthy of a penalty I see.

[Gray Fox]

Moyes absolutely SEETHING there.

[Luke Emia]

Moyes absolutely SEETHING there.

Good the bitter Gollum looking cunt. He had his win against us last season didn’t he? Should mean we beat any of his teams for the next 10 years.

[phonics]

The goal that the mans hairlines deserve.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Erling Ginola.

[phonics]

C'mon Erling, that one was just unnessacary.

[Lofty]

Is there anything more plastic than Citeh fans doing “the Poznan”?

Doing the poznan whilst being outsung by the away fans for 90 minutes.

[randomlegend]

Haaland breaking the record for most goals in a 38-game Premier League season with 7 to go is :cab:

[niko_cee]

Did I hear right back when Chelsea lost 3 games in a row [halcyon days] that that was the first time that had happened since 1993? Seemed amazing to me, where does 5 on the bounce put them? Uncharted territory. Without really knowing much about what is going on there they look like they're in the kind of doom spiral Liverpool were in during the no-fans season when they lost a crazy number of games at home in a row or whatever it was.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We've scored a goal in 10 of our last 26. It's a long-term malaise that has far less to do with the two/three managers than everyone likes to think, and can instead be put at the door of the squad being completely incoherent and geared around being value on a spreadsheet rather than actually playing football. Nobody knows what on earth they're supposed to be doing or why they've been brought in.

It isn't going to be magically healed over the summer by appointing 'Poch', either.

[randomlegend]

They've also scored less in the league than Haaland has.

[Spikey M]

Arsenal being shit again is such a relief.

Just need Chelsea to manage relegation and it's a perfect season.

[7om]

1651324668391878662

And people have the audacity to make fun of Sir Steve Bruce.

[Shindig]

Really blotted his coffee book with those 5 points (unless one was a cup win - I think it was).

[wullie]

Sheffield United beat West Brom which put them up but more importantly means both they and Blackburn haven't overtaken us with their two games in hand each.

https://i.imgur.com/uNB6yyH.png

Everything's been going our way a little too much which means Saturday's sold out biggest home game in years against Birmingham is where we shit the bed.

[John Arne]

Just watched the highlights of the City-Araenal game. For the 1st and 3rd goals Partey literally and almost intentional slows down to let De Bruyne go past him. He completely lets him go for another chance when Ramsdale saves from Haaland. Proper fix.

[Ben]

Sheffield United beat West Brom which put them up but more importantly means both they and Blackburn haven't overtaken us with their two games in hand each.

https://i.imgur.com/uNB6yyH.png

Everything's been going our way a little too much which means Saturday's sold out biggest home game in years against Birmingham is where we shit the bed.

You might want to drop down to 6th because you'll smash Luton with Gyokeres up top. Although they beat us on Monday night (dive for a penalty, which the lad admitted and might now get banned for), we played our 2nd string and absolutely battered them. How they've got that far without a central defence is completely mind boggling.

[Waffdon]

Haaland breaking the record for most goals in a 38-game Premier League season with 7 to go is :cab:

Some plur.

Will he do it against Ryan Porteous and Grant Hanley in June though? I doubt it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Same old Spurs.

[Waffdon]

Why did Perisic sprint his heart out to stop that going for a corner lol. Ended up costing his team a goal

[Gray Fox]

Valencia with a massive goal at the death in their game against Villarreal to get them out of the bottom 3.

Current scores standing would basically send Southampton down. Everton right in the shit. Leicester, Brighton and City are their next 3 games too.

[Waffdon]

Lovely finish from Wilson. Newcastle have two proper strikers in him and Isak. Both ridiculously injury prone though.

[Shindig]

Oooh, we're still in the mood for goals. :D

[niko_cee]

Spurs are such a shambles, but other than going to Bayern to 'win' the Bundesliga what offers are going to be on the table for Harry? United aren't winning anything with other, better teams in the league, so why bother going there. City won't want him. He was a boyhood gooner, no? The madcap theory I saw the other day that he would join Smallpockets at Chelsea seems about the most sensible one going, which is alarming.

I guess that's what you get for having your [probably even more retarded] brother as an agent.

[Waffdon]

Isak :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How did Bruno miss that ffs?

[Luke Emia]

Current scores standing would basically send Southampton down. Everton right in the shit. Leicester, Brighton and City are their next 3 games too.

If Leicester beat them they could be just about done.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We've been so fucking shit in the second half.

In so many games we turn off after going 2-0 up.

Son tried to miss that.

[Danny]

This second half has been embarrassing for United

[Waffdon]

Ffs. Liverpool are going to finish 4th

[Luke Emia]

Ffs. Liverpool are going to finish 4th

No there’s just not enough games left.

[Spikey M]

I don't think he's taking Diers Mong of the Match trophy, but Fred really is stealing a living.

[niko_cee]

Next year is going to be a bad one for the coefficient.

[Shindig]

Nah, West Ham's going to get a million UEFA points for winning the Conference Winner's Cup.

[John Arne]

Kicked off in the Euroleague last night between Real Madrid and Partizan, including a fantastic body slam at 00:09


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOV40cemEFA&ab_channel=ESPN

[Adramelch]

I don't see Yabusele playing again in the Euroleague any time soon after that. It will also be interesting what happens with the third game since Real have to go to Belgrade and I can't imagine that will go well.

[John Arne]

I don't see Yabusele playing again in the Euroleague any time soon after that. It will also be interesting what happens with the third game since Real have to go to Belgrade and I can't imagine that will go well.

Yeah, behind closed doors, you'd think.
Llull has since taken "full responsibility", though I'm not sure why - it was a hard foul, but he didn't start the ruck.

They also kinda have to finish this game, too - there was 1:42 before it was cancelled.

[Adramelch]

He didn't quite attempt to get the ball to be honest, looked like it was just out of frustration so maybe he thought it could have all been averted. As for the game I'm pretty sure that just went to Partizan.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Is there a reason why Ayew took off his shirt for an equaliser in the 15th minute?

Seems like a bit of an over-celebration so early.

[John Arne]

This ref puts WPUJC Vaas to shame.

https://i.imgur.com/dXX47DX.jpeg

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

West Ham lol.

Done really well after taking the lead.

[Waffdon]

This is the last game I expected to be 4-3 with 20 mins left

[John Arne]

Wolves are dogshit.

[Waffdon]

I see Billy Gilmour finally started a game for Brighton and he gets MOTM in a 6-0 win. Stocks are rising again. :drool:

[niko_cee]

Getting absolutely donned by a midfield of Gross and Gilmour raises questions of whoever Wolves had playing there. Neves?

[Magic]

Forest. :harold:

[Shindig]

Here is your final Gateshead update of the season. They sign off with a 4-0 win over Maidenhead. A 14th placed finish is alright for their first year back in the National League.

[niko_cee]

What's that, another penalty for City?

Cracking finish by Sid Viscious.

[Clunge]

My hometown side Taunton finished 14th in their first-ever NLS season. Quality stuff. Annoyingly though, my local side Dulwich got relegated in the final day of the season so that’s one away I’m not going to have next season.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My local side Walton & Hersham, after years in the doldrums, now have a weird consortium and loads of money behind them and have a playoff final today against 'Hanworth Villa' which is a 2,000 sell out. That's in the Isthmian South. In the North, the runaway league winners were 'Hashtag United'. Game very much gone.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

My local side Hitchin Town FC have, as usual, finished mid-table in the 7th of football.

[Magic]

That was our last winable game. Doon.

[niko_cee]

Same league as above, Guernsey [15th/40 points] signed off with a 6-0 defeat against already relegated Bedfont Sports, who were the team they vied with for promotion out of [some part of] the combined counties league when they first started up years ago I think.

How do the play-offs work then? W&H finished second, Hanworth Villa 4th. 21 point difference. Yikes.

[Don]

Man Utd's shit on a stick football and relentless timewasting yielding another result. The cup final and next season's failures are going to be top.

[Giggles]

Man Utd's shit on a stick football and relentless timewasting yielding another result. The cup final and next season's failures are going to be top.

Cry a bit more.

[Shindig]

Listening to the Southampton commentary and, bless 'em, BBC Radio Solent are at their wits end.

[SincereTheRebel]

Napoli can wrap up the league today and its now 1-1. Just conceded with 5 minutes left.

[Waffdon]

The chase for 4th in that league looks pretty tasty. Inter beat Lazio earlier so they could still yet be pulled into it

[Don]

In the space of 2 minutes of stoppage time, Shaw, Antony, Casemiro, Bruno and Malacia all lost their heads on separate occasions and almost conceded as a result. The mentality of these gyppos is unmatched.

[randomlegend]

Your composure has been lost since about November.

[Alex]

That was our last winable game. Doon.

I don't even want to think about what Man City are going to do to us next week. If the season was a boxing match I would throw the towel in now.

[Alex]

That was our last winable game. Doon.

I don't even want to think about what Man City are going to do to us next week. If the season was a boxing match I would throw the towel in now.

[Magic]

I don't even want to think about what Man City are going to do to us next week. If the season was a boxing match I would throw the towel in now.

Haaland going to break all those records by scoring about 9.

[Alex]

Haaland going to break all those records by scoring about 9.

Hopefully Alf-Inge has a word and convinces him to go easy on us, for old times sake.

[Kikó]

Taz ability to talk about the Carabao champions is unrivalled.

[Gray Fox]

Spurs could be hit for 10 here

[Waffdon]

It’s happening again :lol:

[Danny]

Spurs about to sack the caretakers caretaker

[7om]

If I’m Harry Kane, I’m calling my agent at half time and telling him to sort it this summer.

[Don]

Omg guys can you stop talking about my team :cry:

[John Arne]

Trent's distribution the last few games from the middle really has been pretty fucking good. Shame he can't defend.

[Spikey M]

It's Man Utd that should be feeling the most embarrassed.

[Shindig]

Jesus, Spurs. You'd save some goal difference by getting 5 players sent off.

[Gray Fox]

If I’m Harry Kane, I’m calling my agent at half time and telling him to sort it this summer.

I actually think he'd fit perfectly at Liverpool. But the cost and age, combined with Gakpo excelling in the role says that ship has sailed.

[Danny]

If I’m Harry Kane, I’m calling my agent at half time and telling him to sort it this summer.

Last time he tried that he ended up with a new deal. I wouldnt trust that idiot of an agent/brother to do anything.

[Gray Fox]

Tyler and Neville have about 60 odd more minutes of spurs bashing to do here.

They're sticking the knife right in.

[Offshore Toon]

Kane has surely 'hired' his brother to just take the fallout from his demands. This is all on Harry.

[Gray Fox]

Stopped playing after 3-0 really. That should be a nice wake up call.

[Spikey M]

Spurs should just play the kids until the end of the season then sell or terminate the contract of everyone involved.

Apart from Eric Dier. He needs to be taken out back and shot.

[Waffdon]

This Liverpool defence is hilarious. Is that the 4th time Spurs hit the woodwork?

[Waffdon]

Jesus. Spurs really should get something here

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Liverpool are going to bottle this, aren't they?

[Waffdon]

That’s a red card.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Stunning big boot.

[Gray Fox]

This is some great comedy. Just needs Richarlison to score to finish it off.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's a STONEWALL pen, surely.

[7om]

So VAR can be used to detect the forward being 1mm offside but Konate can suplex Richarlison and that’s okay?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

Stunning.

[Boydy]

This is some great comedy. Just needs Richarlison to score to finish it off.

I hope you're happy with yourself.

[Kikó]

Lol clog wearing best defender ever having another special one.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It's Man Utd that should be feeling the most embarrassed.

I think Liverpool take that crown now.