April Women's Football Thread

[Ian]

APRIL FOOL! Hahaha, it's not really a women's football thread of course. I got you good.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4fBrZj1uXM

Anyway, non-international football is back(, baby!) and is basically on non-stop until May now. So fear not, Wout Weghorst is about to be back in all our lives.

[Spikey M]

Woken Britain.

[Lofty]

I was thinking about this other day, noticing Football Weekly had stopped doing a Women's Football but and given them their own dedicated podcast. Cant find the exact figures but a football podcast chart site has FW at 1 and WFW at 35. Equal pay now, you misogynists.

[Don]

Ah ffs the Norwegian fuck is out. Banana Silva on bench is decent though. Bring on the goalfest.

[Gray Fox]

No Haaland but this fixture is everything Liverpool struggle with.

It's away, it's at City, it's on a Saturday and it's the early kick off.

The one feather in the cap so far this season is that of the 'top 6 mini league' Liverpool are actually top. A shame to see Nunez on the bench, but any points at all here I would bite your hand off for.

[Pepe]

Are you suggesting that women's football is a joke, you raging misogynist?

[Waffdon]

The City defence was hilarious there. Liverpool should score a few here on the break.

[Gray Fox]

If Liverpool put 10 passes together you can see the City back line become very disjointed. Guardiolas tinkering there does undo them when they face a team who can attack them.

[Don]

This is a great game. How we invited and beat the press for our first :drool:

[Waffdon]

Both defences can be got it. With Haaland out this game has reverted back to being a proper spectacle. So open. If Haaland was playing, Liverpool would probably have dropped deep like they did in the return fixture.

Swear Mahrez was offside

[Gray Fox]

Rodri with the same kind of counter stopping challenge about 2 mins apart. One is a yellow but the other isn't.

[Ben]

Guardiola loves to out tactic himself. Every time he does something mental like three at the back and Stones in midfield, they get carved open.

Also guessing the new “surrounding the referee” rule doesn’t apply to Liverpool.

[Gray Fox]

Boy this City lot are hateable.

[Ben]

Boy this City lot are hateable.

I’m sure City fans would say the same about Liverpool.

Great needle for the neutral.

[Gray Fox]

Yeah but only one of us are a bunch of cheating bastards with our players hitting the deck at the slightest breeze.

Been an okay first half but Harvey Elliott has seen it pass him by. Same for Gakpo really. I'd like to see Nunez up top with Jota staying out on the left.

[Gray Fox]

Any good work immediately undone. If you're not playing your defence on the fucking halfway line that doesn't happen.

[Baz]

Rubbish, this.

I don't think Liverpool will finish 3rd.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yeah but only one of us are a bunch of cheating bastards with our players hitting the deck at the slightest breeze.

:harold:

Gakpo says hello.

[igor_balis]

not booking gakpo for the dive was proper cowardly bet hedging shit from the ref

[Gray Fox]

I see he's remembered he has substitutes.

Sending Oxlade on is basically giving up though.

[Don]

Gakpo is the real deal, next season gonna be :drool:

[Waffdon]

Liverpool are better off just tanking the season now and avoiding Europe altogether now especially since their nailed on 1-1 on Tuesday will happen before they face Arsenal next week.

[Gray Fox]

Liverpool are better off just tanking the season now and avoiding Europe altogether now especially since their nailed on 1-1 on Tuesday will happen before they face Arsenal next week.

I feel like every game against Chelsea for about 5 years has finished 0-0.

Yet another 12:30 kick off where the legs have gone in the 2nd half. A lot of these have had a week off as well. You wonder where it's going wrong in training at this point.

[Manc]

This City side are winning the lot.

[Kikó]

Yeah I've made peace with city winning the treble this year.

[niko_cee]

And then being thrown out/retrospectively stripped of everything. :yn:

[Shindig]

Back to back wins lifts Gateshead out of the bottom four. They still have two games in hand over some of the teams around them.

They're currently 3-1 up in their FA Trophy semi final at half-time. :drool:

Full time: 3-3 but Gateshead win on penalties. Both sides of the river get to Wembley this year.

[Waffdon]

Two full backs in a back three for Mr Potter today. Let’s see if he stops being so negative today.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Rudiger to Koulibaly has been some downgrade, as has Bobby Madley to Andy Madley.

[Manc]

Dortmund's keeper with a special effort in Der Klassiker.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cucurella is literally not even a top flight player. He should be on the bench at Ponferradina or something. Just makes terrible decisions week after week.

[Waffdon]

That defending again. :lol:

Villa should score a few here if there fancy it. Villa look a bit open as well but you wouldn’t trust Chelsea to take advantage.

[Ben]

Sunday league stuff there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mudryk has yipped up there.

I like Potter, but I reckon Ruben Loftus-Road at wing back and Reece James at centre back has to qualify as overthinking it.

[Lofty]

The good news is Emery loves sitting in and defending a narrow lead as much as Potter does.

[Waffdon]

A back 3 with Koulibaly and Cucurella in it with Kepa behind them really is a terrifying

[Waffdon]

West Ham and Leicester in the relegation zone. Would be pretty lol if they both go down

[Gray Fox]

I wonder how much less coverage the Liverpool team bus getting bricked will get.

[niko_cee]

Was it bricked by their own fans?

[Waffdon]

Kepa and conceding from outside the box. Never change, mate.

Potter surely can’t keep lasting. You can’t let him manage against Madrid, it will be carnage.

Madueke on to play right wing back. Jesus

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's mostly the finishing, which is consistently ludicrously bad. Joao Felix gets three great chances a game and does nothing. Havertz side-foots it at the keeper. Mudryk's had two sitters and completely heads-have-gone on both of them. Chilwell is our most dangerous forward.

OK, so in this game we've lost two goals but it should be 2-2 or better just from the complete sitters.

[niko_cee]

70% possession, 20 shots to 4, 10 corners to 1, 0-2. Classic Potter.

[niko_cee]

And how many years is Muddy Rick on eleventy billion quid a week for?

[Waffdon]

90k a week. Absolutely peanuts in this current climate tbf. All the new contacts also have wage decreases in them if they don’t achieve Europe and whatever else.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mudryk will be absolutely electric when he goes on loan to Leverkusen in 18 months' time. In England, not sure he's ever going to see enough room in behind.

[Giggles]

Was it bricked by their own fans?
They’re usually fairly good at bricking other teams buses so it’s possible.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I honestly don't know what sort of hex Potter places on his players to make them so bad at shooting, but if he doesn't lift it by the end of the season I will reluctantly have to join the Potter out crew.

[Giggles]

The amount of high level players who can’t actually kick the ball these days is alarming. I see it every week here where it’s to be expected, but not lads on about half a million a month. Too much youth coaching focused on strength speed power.

[Waffdon]

I honestly don't know what sort of hex Potter places on his players to make them so bad at shooting, but if he doesn't lift it by the end of the season I will reluctantly have to join the Potter out crew.

They’re getting worse though. Just get rid.

You’re just prolonging the inevitable when the crowd are already wanting you out.

[Giggles]

Get on Kompany and make him a success before Spurs ruin him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They’re getting worse though. Just get rid.

You’re just prolonging the inevitable when the crowd are already wanting you out.

It will make no difference to anything this season, there is no need to act until May and even then only if there hasn't been an improvement. Tee to green they do a lot of good things and defensively it's generally ridiculous individual errors rather than anything systemic.

[Waffdon]

May as well bring in someone competent to try and shithouse your way in the CL.

[Foe]

Felix is just such a classy player though. Wasted in this Chelsea team.

I’m not sure what badiashile said to potter, but it must’ve been bad to make him start cucarella at centre back ahead of him, despite showing numerous times already he is not competent playing there.

[Waffdon]

2 wins from a run of games against the following really is some effort:

Fulham (h), West Ham (a), Southampton (h), Spurs (a), Leeds (h), Leicester (a), Everton (h) and Villa (h)

Half them are in or have been in the bottom 3 in the past 4 weeks. :lol:

[phonics]

There's got to be something about what Potter does that his teams consistently batter their opponents on xG and then lose.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's a general air of small dick energy about most of our players, but that's all vibes, I want the science of why Potter teams can't shoot.

[niko_cee]

I honestly don't know what sort of hex Potter places on his players to make them so bad at shooting, but if he doesn't lift it by the end of the season I will reluctantly have to join the Potter out crew.

This is the Solly March enigma.

I think Chelsea have to give him a full run with an actual forward next season, but the world rarely works like that.

[phonics]

Lukaku's back next year lol.

[Lewis]

Dortmund's keeper with a special effort in Der Klassiker.

https://i.imgur.com/Ev3UvKO.png

[Spikey M]

There's a general air of small dick energy about most of our players, but that's all vibes, I want the science of why Potter teams can't shoot.

They really have put together a merry band of absolute pussies. We're a long way from the days of Diego Costa now.

[Kikó]

The amount of high level players who can’t actually kick the ball these days is alarming. I see it every week here where it’s to be expected, but not lads on about half a million a month. Too much youth coaching focused on strength speed power.

This isn't it anymore. Teams are all built around ball play from youth and possession. Blame Guardiola

[randomlegend]

I honestly don't know what sort of hex Potter places on his players to make them so bad at shooting, but if he doesn't lift it by the end of the season I will reluctantly have to join the Potter out crew.

You literally don't have a striker. It's a load of sort-of-10s (because 10s don't exist any more unless you're Bruno Fernandes) creating chances for whichever one of them who has drawn the pretend-to-be-a-striker short straw that week to miss.

[randomlegend]

Felix is just such a classy player though. Wasted in this Chelsea team.

I’m not sure what badiashile said to potter, but it must’ve been bad to make him start cucarella at centre back ahead of him, despite showing numerous times already he is not competent playing there.

Felix is a player constantly described as massively talented who never actually does anything.

Admittedly he has been forced to play terrorism football at Atletico and no strikers allowed football at Chelsea, but I do wonder if he's a player who just looks good but isn't.

[Ian]

. Chilwell is our most dangerous forward.

There was a run of about five whatever the Euro not-friendlies are called where this was true for England too.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Brendan Rodgers GONE.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/64278178

[Lewis]

The current bottom three going down would be a result. Any of the current bottom eight (minus Forest) in fact.

[Shindig]

It'd gone on so long I expected them to keep him for the rest of the season.

Vieira in.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That VAR check for the West Ham goal took the piss.

I think it was 4 minutes to check if it was offside or not.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Weghorst is tragic.

[phonics]

If this result stays the same Gary might have to say United are no longer in the title race.

[Waffdon]

Be quite funny if Man Utd bottle top 4. Their run in looks quite easy though.

[Ben]

Bruno embarrassing again.

[Giggles]

What’s the lap of honour about?

[Shindig]

I was really surprised we didn't drop off after that first half. I know United's fighting on a lot of fronts but they offered nowt today.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Having watched Southampton earlier I'm not sure where their salvation is coming from, unless they've got Chelsea away about three times before the end of the season.

[randomlegend]

I was really surprised we didn't drop off after that first half. I know United's fighting on a lot of fronts but they offered nowt today.

We are useless without Casemiro.

[Kikó]

We're absolutely shit without Casimero. Him and Erikson will be a welcome return. Baldy seems to have a particular weakness for away games but I'll give him some slack due to him only having one window and their still being a load of dross still in the team.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1642592340903620612

Chelsea are saved.

[Shindig]

I eagerly await his loan spells to Middlesbrough, Aberdeen, Metz, Galatasaray before a triumphant return to Independiente del Valle to kickstart his career.

[Waffdon]

1642592340903620612

Chelsea are saved.

Potter sacked so you’re no wrong

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is the interim guy the same Bruno who used to be bald at Brighton? What a Littlefinger-esque run he's had.

[Waffdon]

Aye. Would have presumed a youth coach would have taken over for time being.

Get Frank back in

[Gray Fox]

Could they not have waited until after the Liverpool game.

[phonics]

Annoyingly I think that means he'll go to Spurs like he should have in the first place while they were busy sucking off 'SERIAL WINNERS' like Mourinho and Conte and do quite well.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Potter sacked so you’re no wrong

Kendry already doing bits.

[Shindig]

Someone has to explain the binman concept to Todd Boehly quick.

[Manc]

Boehly. :harold:

[Yevrah]

The most deserved sacking I can recall for some time.

[Waffdon]

I’m not sure how anyone can disagree with that. He’s just out his depth - worth the risk when you have unlimited money but it didn’t work out.

[phonics]

Who exists in management that Chelsea havent already sacked wouldn't be out of their depth taking over mid season with a squad full of absolute time wasters? Having no Chilwell or Reece James for 90% of his games didn't help either.

I'll give Boehly this, that Enzo Fernandez might be the first Chelsea buy in a while that's not a complete fraud.

[Yevrah]

I'd agree that the nonsense transfer strategy hardly helped Potter and it's a basket case of a job for anyone who comes in, but neither of those things are reasons to keep a manager who seemingly had little clue what he should have been doing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's a shame as I think he'll do very well elsewhere, but if he was lacking something I think it was a bit of gravitas to deal with big time players. Carlo Ancelotti, despite probably being a worse coach and equal tactician to Potter, has been the king of that throughout his career and the medals roll in. Zidane too.

I'd rather get one of those types next I think. Nagelsmann is just Potter with a trust fund wardrobe.

[phonics]

There's that but there absolutely has to be something with his teams and the shots they take.

It makes no sense that Potter teams constantly under perform xG.

[Giggles]

Bring Brodgers home.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There's that but there absolutely has to be something with his teams and the shots they take.

It makes no sense that Potter teams constantly under perform xG.

Neither of them has had a good centre forward in the squad, which is probably most of it.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, got to be Bodgers, knows the club, bet his CV is already in Todd's inbox.

Sacking Potter but keeping on Bruno [and presumably the rest of his staff] is a bit :cab:

Chelsea on the road to nowhere if they think success can be instantly bought these days. Not going to happen, not least with the idiots they have in charge running the show.

My biggest bugbear with Potter was never getting enough men into the box, which filtered through from the formation [often 3 at the back etc] but Chelsea don't seem to have suffered so much from that, as having the worst finishers going. Most of their players aren't going to amount to a whole hill of beans, which is why they are where they are.

[niko_cee]

Is it right that 13 of the 20 premier league teams have sacked their manager this season? Really? I make it 12.

[Boydy]

Pretty sure I read it was 11 the other day so the two today would take it to 13.

[Gray Fox]

Remember that Chelsea only counts as one but with two different managers.

[niko_cee]

Completely forgot Chelsea are now on their third manager. Maybe they should have some sort of rule like they used to [still do?] for players about not changing clubs that many times in a season.

I suppose the upside to Potter going is I can revert back to just disliking Chelsea [although I was quite looking forward to him doing well there], but then there's the spectre of him going to Spurs, which would be a difficult feelings kidney. Fortunately I don't think Levy has the stomach to see their Top 4 hopes torpedoed by that sort of appointment.

[Manc]

When was the last time both United & Liverpool finished outside of the top four?

[Waffdon]

When Leicester won the league I think. I know Arsenal/Spurs finished T3, presume City got 4th.

[Don]

We're getting 4th at least. Ryan Mason's Spurs or some Solly March masterclass isn't enough.

[Shindig]

I heard a stat about Newcastle last finishing above United in 1977. Sure enough, we finished 5th and qualified for Europe that season. Next year we were relegated. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

Shoutout for Tottenham 1-1 Everton. 9th time in the PL, 27th overall.

[Giggles]

The commentary on that Kane flop :D

Love to hear it roles reversed.

[Gray Fox]

He was just anticipating the contact, right?

[niko_cee]

Ref had no choice, apparently, not seen it, watch Everton v Spurs? Are you kidding?

[Lewis]

Everton scoring late equalisers like that is a definite never going down ever sign. Bring on the Everton-less Super League.

[Lofty]

Ref had no choice, apparently, not seen it, watch Everton v Spurs? Are you kidding?

Even my Spurs supporting mate didn't watch it :D

[John Arne]

1642894841708429312

[Shindig]

Steve Watson used to do that. I'm sure someone's launched one of those off the first man at point-blank range before. :D

[Kikó]

The commentary on that Kane flop :D

Love to hear it roles reversed.

Be weird if Harry Kane was commentating on Martin Tyler diving but I'd watch.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sir Henry Winter tweeted that it was 'embarrassing', if he's dunking on a major England player then it must have been war crimes tribunal-worthy.

[Giggles]

Be weird if Harry Kane was commentating on Martin Tyler diving but I'd watch.

Thanks Dad.

[John Arne]

Which Englishman do you hate the most Giggles, King Hamilton or Lord Kane?

[Gray Fox]

I don't actually think he has anything against Hamilton, more so the folk on here who refer to him as Lewis.

[John Arne]

Sir Lewis, please.

[Giggles]

I don't have to hate either to call out that wankery. No problem with the dive at all either, just found the commentary around it laughable.

Hamilton is a bit of a tosser though in fairness, the poor underprivileged mite.

[John Arne]

I don't have to hate either to call out that wankery. No problem with the dive at all either, just found the commentary around it laughable.

Hamilton is a bit of a tosser though in fairness, the poor underprivileged mite.

Yeah, fair shout - Hamilton is a massive bellend.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

From BBC's live page:

Absolutely nothing wrong with Kane's reaction. That's what happens with that kind of impact, I doubt he made the conscious decision to go down. I've had similar impacts in the same area many times and it's physically impossible to stay standing, and there's always a brief delay from shock. Criticising him for his actions is akin to ignoring the seriousness of head injuries no matter how small.

:harold:

[Ian]

Christ. :D

[Ben]

:facepalm:

[niko_cee]

They're absolutely right.

At least 10 days out for Kane to get over the concussion I'd say.

[-james-]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Hutter

Looking through the names being put forward for the Leicester job and this guy is one of them. Surely that can't be allowed.

[Boydy]

Who in their right mind called their son "Adolf" in 1970? Jesus christ.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Probably named him after Adolf Eichmann.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

No wonder he goes by "Adi".

[Danny]

Mitrovic 8 match ban. Jesus

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Deserved more.

[-james-]

Yeah, a man nearly died ffs

[Ben]

Imagine how many Doucoure will get for concussing our Harry if Mitrovic gets 8.

[thommo]

For 8 games, Mitro should have genuinely lumped the cunt. Absolute joke.

Same as the Suarez ban for racism, DOUBLE the ban that the pikey boy JT got. And the FA are appealing to get it increased. You can see where their priorities lie.

[Raoul Duke]

Rumours on Twitter that they have a vendetta against Fulham/Serbia/Portugal #itk

[Shindig]

If this is some kind of ban encouraged to stop the refs being crowded, it won't work.

[thommo]

It's a farce. When it happened, all the cronies in the media were harping on about how any contact with a ref should be a red card. And since then we've seen virtually every side continue to crowd the ref or come into contact with them, with no repercussions.

[Shindig]

The only way it stops is if the officials charge on and protect the ref. I'm all for that visual.

[Kikó]

Another Vendetta against Fulham.

[thommo]

Hardly, just an easy target for the FA to appear to be coming down hard on protecting officials. I can't imagine any of the Sky 6 receiving this sort of attention and disdain from the FA.

[Spikey M]

Yeah, they'd never put Chelsea under a Transfer Embargo or anything like that.

[thommo]

FIFA issued that embargo, as well as fining Chelsea and the FA.

[niko_cee]

Hasn't Jimmy's recent incursion into South America cleared Our Luis from Liverpool on the Negrito front?

Was what Mitrovic's actual red card for? Was it for shoving the ref or did he do something, get sent off and then shove the ref? Aggressive physical contact with the ref probably should carry a pretty hefty ban, so 6 games or so doesn't seem disproportionate. Less than Di Canio. Not the same but what did Thatcher get for that 'shove' on Pedro Mendes?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The red was for shoving the ref.

The 8 game break down is as follows:

The Serbia striker received a three-match ban for the sending off, three for violent conduct and an additional two for "improper, abusive, insulting and threatening" language.

I'm not sure how bad his language must have been to warrant a 2 game ban.

[thommo]

A weird way of breaking it down because yeah, he was sent off for the contact with Kavanagh. So effectively it was 6 games for the grab, and 2 for his language after the fact.

Di Canio was already sent off when he pushed Alcock so his ban for the push was also 8 games. Thatcher got 8 for the, let's be honest, assault on Mendes. I forgot he was only booked at the time too.

[niko_cee]

Is 8 matches the limit before it goes to time bans [a la biting Suarez and Kung Fu Cantona]?

Being as it was in the FA Cup doesn't it only apply to cup games per that weird rule they seem to have this season [I'm sure the Spanish Cup had something similar, maybe still does]?

[Ben]

It’s obviously wasn’t the same thing, petulance rather than aggression, but this makes it even more baffling that Bruno got away with it completely because they’re clearly trying to send the message with the Mitrovic ban that officials are off limits. Which is fair, but inconsistency is what creates confusion and ultimately the inability to change attitudes.

[Spikey M]

FIFA issued that embargo, as well as fining Chelsea and the FA.

It's the same pool of pension dodgers

[thommo]

I think red cards in the FA Cup still carry over to other domestic competitions. It's just yellow card suspensions that are competition-specific.

[randomlegend]

Mitrovic absolutely deserved that ban and more, the simple reason being he continued to be aggressive towards the ref after the red card had been given.

A red card is the maximum punishment the ref can give out. Anything a player does after a ref has already sent them off has to be punished retrospectively or it's not actually being punished at all. If he didn't receive a lengthy ban, it would also have sent the message that once you've been sent off you may as well crack on. It would leave referees feeling that they had no protection once they've given a red card.

[Gray Fox]

I interrupt this clear vendetta against Fulham to say that there's no Van Dijk tonight.

Forecasts call for a heavy dose of Goe Jomez lasting for up to 90 minutes.

[Don]

Gomez at RB I can cope with but the Nazi cunt has got too busy trying to send a message out with that XI of his.

[Ben]

Why does he play Nunez on the left?

[Don]

Cause we rely on the central lad to create.

[Gray Fox]

I assume he wants the pace in behind and him matched up against a full back in the air.

[Gray Fox]

Oh wait I see they've unfrozen Kante to face us once again. I'll take a draw...

[Waffdon]

0-4 Liverpool. Cucurella :lol:

[Gray Fox]

Fucking hell lads. We play in red ffs.

[Luke Emia]

I haven’t seen us since the United game but I saw the second City goal at the weekend and this looks like more of the same.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a hit that was from James.

I think it's offside though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a hit that was from James.

I think it's offside though.

[Gray Fox]

There's just something about Havertz. He always seems to get to the right place and then just wilts with the ball.

The press has been working reasonably here. Especially when Cucurella or Koulidaddy have the ball. There seemed to be an almost "well if you wont score we might as well try and win then" in the last few minutes of that half.

You can really tell the confidence is shot though. The player who makes it most obvious is Henderson. Everything goes too safe and backwards. Whereas if we hold the ball for a little while the gaps start to open up. We just can't get the full backs going. Jomez can't get high enough up the field with the ball and Tsimikas may as well be on the Chelsea team.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Even when they get a favourable bounce they can't get a goal.

[Gray Fox]

He's just one of those desperately unlucky people. Like a footballing George Russell.

[Luke Emia]

God we are so bad. It’s almost like the midfield may as well not be there.

[Don]

Get Jones and Tsimikas off now they're booked as well as being shite, go 4-2-4 and let's get the win you cunt.

[Waffdon]

Chelsea must average a goal disallowed every game if not two. Especially against Liverpool

[Manc]

The absolute state of these two sides. Get in the fucking bin.

[niko_cee]

Sounds like another cracker. Those two teams should be stopped from playing each other.

In other news, it'll end up going to shit, but Brighton are right in the hunt for the top 4. :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Six draws in a row between the pair, and four consecutive goalless.

[phonics]

I've just done my first table predictor where I put in a couple of Arsenal draws and Man City beating us and we still come out just ahead.

Basically the entire season rests on Brighton getting a credible draw at home vs City.

[niko_cee]

That's not something that is going to happen.

Arsenal's season hinges on shit Liverpool turning up at the weekend.

[phonics]

I factored in draws away to Liverpool and Newcastle and a loss to Man City. If those happen and Brighton get a draw we win. If we don’t we lose on Goal Difference.

[Gray Fox]

Given that the past two results have seen even the faint hope of top 4 obliterated, I think the fans will full turn and expect us to lie down for Arsenal.

The only thing that could ruin that is if Arteta riles up the crowd again.

I'm sure Guardiola will have plenty of things to say about Anfield in the week.

[Shindig]

Let's not discount the possibility City drop points against someone like Everton. That run-in looks almost trouble free, though.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/65183032

Count yourself lucky, Mitrovic. :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1643313042367586309

:drool:

What a match that must have been.

[niko_cee]

Thought OG Ronaldo might have been involved in that at first glance.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Lukaku stuff is insane. Sent off for 'excessive celebration' for standing still and putting a finger to his lips?

Far too much protection of Juventus in general in Italy, they need to be shut down for a bit.

[Ian]

Standing defiantly? Making a non-obscene gesture? Definitely a massive overreaction to getting pelted with racist abuse every week from ol' Rom.

Italian FA will probably ban him.

[Giggles]

Only seen Ferguson’s goal today. Fuck I hope he keeps developing, we haven’t had a high level forward player since Keane/Duff.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He'll be enough on his own to qualify you for the odd thing. Maybe not out of this group but next time around.

[Lewis]

He's the most Irish-looking Irishman since Brian O'Driscoll.

[Giggles]

Begorrah.

[Lewis]

O'Driscoll thinks he has us fooled when he turns up in his readers but his great big Irish head is too powerful.

[Giggles]

Thankfully I haven’t laid eyes on the hun cunt in about a decade.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Frank coming back as interim. Be still my beating heart.

[Ben]

What the fuck. :D

[Giggles]

:D has to be a joke.

[Lewis]

I thought this (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/65196238) was a perspective issue but lol he is that small.

[Luke Emia]

I feel like Boehly is on some kind of wind up of how not to run a football club at this point.

[niko_cee]

Is Steady Hand Frank actually a thing and not a joke?

God I hope he does well and gets a permanent deal.

[Luke Emia]

Is Steady Hand Frank actually a thing and not a joke?

God I hope he does well and gets a permanent deal.

He’s got a hell of an agent it must be said.

[Don]

How does such a piece of shit keep falling upwards so relentlessly? He's a proper gammon and Chelsea must be competing with West Ham for most gammon institution in existence but fuck me, you'd think with all the money and foreigners about they'd manage to resist.

[Yevrah]

Incredible work from Lamps there. Have to respect it.

[Lewis]

He lives locally and Knows the Club. It isn't a bad move for the rest of the season, provided that they keep their heads on and find a proper manager for next year.

[Luke Emia]

He lives locally and Knows the Club. It isn't a bad move for the rest of the season, provided that they keep their heads on and find a proper manager for next year.

The hope has to be that they win 8 out of 10 in the league and give it to him full time.

[Shindig]

"Hey, my stuff's where I left it! Seriously, though ..."

[Baz]

Someone has to explain the binman concept to Todd Boehly quick.
Looks like he nailed it first time.

[Manc]

Barcelona donning Madrid senseless for 45 minutes only for Benzema to pop up a with goal in injury time. Thier ability to stay in games is baffling.

[Kikó]

Lamps being the man until the end of the season is sensational. I look forward to the All or Nothing series.

[Gray Fox]

Moysey surely becomes number 13 tonight?

[Shindig]

I don't think Moyes comes back from this.

[Raoul Duke]

Lampard as interim only really makes sense if they are waiting for someone for in the summer. But there's Nagelsmann, Pochettino and Luis Enrique who pretty much fit the bill and are available now

[Raoul Duke]

I don't think Moyes comes back from this.

Especially not with a newly-unemployed Potter available

[Lewis]

United were reasonably good, end product aside, and it didn't look all that tiring. I think they need seven wins from ten to equal Ole Gunnar Binman's best points total.

[Baz]

Rashford, man. What's going on.

[niko_cee]

"Hey, my stuff's where I left it! Seriously, though ..."

:D

[Jimmy Floyd]

It might be that whoever their fave is doesn't want to start until the summer. Really would rather Luis Enrique than Nagelsmann.

[Giggles]

Are Leicester really going to be stupid enough to bring back O’Neill?

[Ben]

I don't see how Moyes comes back from conceding five at home to noted scoring strugglers. I just hope they go for Potter or Rodgers rather than poaching Carrick.

[Shindig]

It'll depend on who fancies moving to a club where relegation is a definite threat. I can't see Rodgers going for that when he's spent a year looking in that direction.

[Ben]

Imagine going with this. :D

https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/chelsea-next-manager-antonio-conte-b2315049.html

[Waffdon]

Fat Frank :cool:

Back with the vibes. Think it’s actually quite a good move to get the fans back onside. Not a chance he stays on unless he brings home #3 so it’s a win-win regardless. At least he will get the forwards scoring, he’ll just turn the defence into a shambles again. Nagelsmann or Enrique will take over, probably the former

[Don]

I heard they've got so many bodies some are having to change on the floor and corridor like some NHS hospital and they're doing 11v11 and a 9v9 game simultaneously in training. Probably best they leave the respectable appointments till the summer.

[niko_cee]

Not wanting to take over ASAP even if you are currently unemployed is such a red flag, why would you not want as much time as possible to get to grips with the squad [on the assumption you won't be sacked no matter what goes down this season]?

All of the mentioned names so far seem like absolute chancers though, so Frank's probably just as good a bet. Maybe 'Mase' will sign a new contract now.

[Spikey M]

Nagelsmann is on (whatever the German is for) Gardening Leave until the Summer. They could probably bung Bayern some money to let him sign now, but what would be the point?

[Waffdon]

Not wanting to take over ASAP even if you are currently unemployed is such a red flag, why would you not want as much time as possible to get to grips with the squad [on the assumption you won't be sacked no matter what goes down this season]?

All of the mentioned names so far seem like absolute chancers though, so Frank's probably just as good a bet. Maybe 'Mase' will sign a new contract now.

That’s what pre season is for. Be a completely different team come pre season again anyway in terms of numbers. Chelsea will be pushing for all their sales before end of June for the end of the financial year especially if they miss out on CL.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nagelsmann is a big avoid for me. Everything about him screams AVB and his achievements are very similar to those of Potter. You have a squad who are a bunch of egos and continually fail to take managers seriously, why would they take this jumped up cretin seriously either? We need someone with heft.

[Don]

Jose rumours :drool:

If he comes I may identify as a gammon.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's the ideal appointment, always.

[niko_cee]

I don't really get the big egos thing at Chelsea, their squad is made up of absolute nobodies for the most part. It's not like you have the likes of Terry, Lampard and Drogba lolling at zany new methods.

[Luke Emia]

Hang on so far I have seen. Fat Frank is taking it on an interim basis. Mourinho, Nagelsman, Enrique and Conte have all been linked. Now I've just seen they are interested in Xabi Alonso who has been managing for all of what six months in Germany? It's like pin the tail on the fucking donkey.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Terry, Lampard and Drogba would all be alpha pros and work to their own standards under basically any manager, even Avram Grant, and this is how Roberto Di Matteo has a Champions League winners medal. The dressing room doesn't have any of those, I don't think, maybe Thiago Silva at a push but he has a thirsty wife.

What we're talking about is players 10 years down the line from that who have (unlike the above three) always been paid ludicrous money from their teens onwards, have agents in their ear and trophy wives thirsty for drama. The ego on someone like Aubameyang, Pulisic, Ziyech, Zakaria who find themselves out of favour is not necessarily commensurate to their stature in the game but is just as lethal for a manager seen as weak.

[Giggles]

Nagelsmann ticks all the boxes to make Jimmy jump ship altogether.

[niko_cee]

If you have retarded owners. Weakness there is as much of an issue as perceived weakness in a manager.

Why would you appoint Potter, who by his own admission doesn't have much gravitas due to being called Graham and having a ginger beard, if you want a Carlo Ancellotti type?

[Ben]

At the time it seemed a really cool appointment. He'd seemingly taken Brighton, with a small budget, and put them in the hunt for European spots so imagine what he could achieve with some backing. Obviously De Zerbi has come in since and shown there's levels to all this but I recall a lot of the reaction to Potter's appointment initially being positive.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, but you appoint him for 18 months minimum, not as a short term firefighter to sort out a mess of a squad which was only made more of a mess in January.

Maybe that's why no one wants the job right now. No guarantee you won't then be sacked if things continue as they are.

[Ben]

I completely agree. The sacking is bizarre because they're back to square one now and really they're between a rock and a hard place. They need to bring in a strong personality to unlock the potential of the squad but at the same time it's almost inevitable that said strong personality will not rate some of the new signings so will end up clashing with the board because they want to write off a couple of hundred million quid's worth of players that don't fit their ethos.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Potter appointment (and Tuchel sacking) had a clear logic to it in the sense that they are (or employ) analytics people and probably saw that his Brighton teams had amazing numbers so thought we'll have us some of that. Tuchel's teams were pretty dire a lot of the time. Problem is that unlike baseball, football is both fluid (i.e. it's not just either he hits a home run or he doesn't, opinions abound) and the culture both in the dressing room and the stands is far (far, far) less patient, something they probably hadn't appreciated or researched properly, so a long term project just isn't going to happen at a club of this size. Ultimately it's an American capital fund, these are not humble people at all, they'll have made big assumptions and consequently big mistakes. All the stuff with 8 year contracts is a bit too clever by half I think.

They'll probably now want someone who is like Potter numbers-wise, but will also deliver immediately. Good luck with that one.

[Waffdon]

Yeah, but you appoint him for 18 months minimum, not as a short term firefighter to sort out a mess of a squad which was only made more of a mess in January.

Maybe that's why no one wants the job right now. No guarantee you won't then be sacked if things continue as they are.

It was only going to get worse. He was just out his depth. Move along.

Not sure there is a shortage of people wanting the job either. No European football to worry about. PL wrapped up by April next year ala Conte after a 10th place finish. It’s a Chelsea thing.

[Yevrah]

On Basketball, I watched the Shaq documentary the other day and (having seen a load of similar stuff now) the tactics in that sport seem to begin and end with employing the triangle and your star player turning it on, which apparently they can do at will.

[Baz]

Sounds like Sir Brendan’s Swansea tactics.

[Ian]

I've sent big Todd a screenshot of my FM13 achievements and, just to really tickle his fancy, a demand to be paid no less than £2m a week.

[Jimmy Floyd]

On Basketball, I watched the Shaq documentary the other day and (having seen a load of similar stuff now) the tactics in that sport seem to begin and end with employing the triangle and your star player turning it on, which apparently they can do at will.

When I watched Last Dance there was a bit I found funny in which Jordan's Bulls were playing Charles Barkley's Suns in what must have been the 1992 or 1993 finals. It was a close series that went back and forth, and the doc just went from clips of Barkley saying '...and there was no way I was gonna let them win that game' to clips of Jordan saying '...and there was no way I was gonna let them win [the next] game'. What would have happened if they'd both not let the other win, in the same game? Would they still be playing now?

[Ian]

That's just sports wank hindsight though isn't it. "You knew it was in the moment it left his foot!!!" says the commentator of a shot we've all seen creep outside the post a million times rather than just inside it.

You never see clips of people going "and I absolutely knew we were going to win that game. But, erm, then we lost, so I guess I knew jack shit."

[niko_cee]

Does the relatively small number of players needed for a basketball team/squad allow for the easier creation of super superstar teams? Always sort of feels that way. Not like you need a 50-man roster a la the NFL, and you probably have a bigger pool to pick from being as other countries also pay the sport.

[Yevrah]

I really enjoy it, so it's not like I think it makes the sport bad or anything, but it genuinely feels like it's the least tactically developed sport going - even with the million or so 'plays' that supposedly exist.

[Jimmy Floyd]

At the risk of flying headlong into pseuds corner, I've always felt it reflects the individual-first culture that is found in a lot of Africa (and by extension in post-slavery black America), and also some of the call-and-response dynamics that you find in Go Go and to some extent hip hop, though I don't know loads about hip hop. No massively complex rules, a free-flowing structure, one side quickly responding to another, and set to an established rhythm (the bouncing of the ball).

Baseball of course the ultimate white man's game. Everyone has to stand in their proper place, everything that happens gets written down carefully and in great detail. If you hit it out of the park you can't show any joy as that would be disrespectful to your opponent.

[Don]

If it wasn't for the dangers of digital blackface, I'd be posting up that MJ popcorn gif. That's the sort of dissection I'm here for, baby.

[phonics]

Jesus Christ. Just needed something about baggy jeans in there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've got another one about how the makeup of an NFL team reflects the dynamics of the slave plantation, but I'll save that for Easter Sunday.

[Spikey M]

I have a theory on "why most wingers appear to be wrong'uns" that I'd like to pencil in somewhere.

[Yevrah]

Easter Monday's free Spikes.

[Adramelch]

I really enjoy it, so it's not like I think it makes the sport bad or anything, but it genuinely feels like it's the least tactically developed sport going - even with the million or so 'plays' that supposedly exist.

That's more of an NBA thing rather than the sport as a whole.

[Shindig]

I don't really get the big egos thing at Chelsea, their squad is made up of absolute nobodies for the most part. It's not like you have the likes of Terry, Lampard and Drogba lolling at zany new methods.

It's arguably big egos that kept the squad together during the Abramovich years. John Terry should really start getting his badges.

[Lewis]

Jose Mourinho would have an absolute ball working for these spendthrift rubes. He would either get everything he wanted and eventually blow it all up, or blow it all up in record time.

[Giggles]

I've got another one about how the makeup of an NFL team reflects the dynamics of the slave plantation, but I'll save that for Easter Sunday.

I’m holding you to that.

[Offshore Toon]

This is probably the only chance I'll get to share it, but I've got a theory about homosexual tories and aspergers, which is based on a former housemate (who definitely ticked all the boxes) and Jimmy here. Small sample size but it's coming along.

[Spikey M]

I am willing to give up my Easter Monday slot .

[Lewis]

This is probably the only chance I'll get to share it, but I've got a theory about homosexual tories and aspergers, which is based on a former housemate (who definitely ticked all the boxes) and Jimmy here. Small sample size but it's coming along.

The Young Conservative numbers must be majority gay at this point. It's weird.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm a long way from being aspy, but people who grow up in small-c conservative environments and are gay are obviously going to be less comfortable in themselves than people to whom only one of those things applies. Those Young Tory weirdos to whom Lewis refers are all just searching for something to belong to. Fortunately I had sport. And TTH, obvs.