Marsch football

[Ian]

Bielsa is gone, don the black armband football purists / people from Leeds. I know nothing about him and I haven't seen Ted Lasso so I'm afraid the thread title pun is the extent of my middling bants about the man.

But there's plenty going on this month.


Former Liverpool defender Rigobert Song has been confirmed as the new Cameroon head coach on the orders of the country's president, Paul Biya. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60565333)
Man City have another of their famously tricky cup ties (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60562772) to look forward to.
THE MANCHESTER DERBY!!! (Oh no.) United will be getting bummed by Liverpool too. (We don't deserve two bullet points.)
Gazprom-free European football continues.
Celtic look to be getting sued for noncing. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-60570893)
The best ever / worst ever manager Steve Bruce continues to try and get a win at West Brom.


And no doubt other stuff. You know how to find fixtures at this point, I'm sure.

[Magic]

I've downloaded it.

[Ben]

Is FA Cup in midweek normal?

[Ian]

I think fifth round and quarters they do midweek, don't they?

Are the semis always a weekend now they're at Wembley?

[Ben]

To be honest it's been so long since my team made it this far so I'm oblivious. The last time was 2016-17 and R5 and QF were both weekends.

[Spikey M]

Are you a Middlesborough fan Ben?


https://youtu.be/NA_4MLj1Ukg

[Ben]

Yes. :drool:

And that's not even the best one (feat. Chris Rea and Bob Mortimer):


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrKEqMY-8lA

[Spikey M]

There's a lot to process in that. :D

[Don]

March is fairly tame, but the international break at the end of the month kicks off peak festival of football season, having weeded out the soft shites [and Man Utd] fans.

[Kikó]

Looking forward to playing city this weekend. 😭😭😭😭

[Waffdon]

I can’t remember the last time City even beat you at home. The year before Pogba’s double when 2-0 down? Perfectly set up for another counter attacking masterclass. It’s about the only fixture Rashford turns up for

[Ian]

Yeah but we're fucking shit so it's just easier to assume there will be nothing to enjoy about a United game and if there is it's a bonus.

[Baz]

Even I want City to beat United.

[Bernanke]

Yes. :drool:

And that's not even the best one (feat. Chris Rea and Bob Mortimer):


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrKEqMY-8lA

And to think, that Chris Rea put Bob in a bath with an egg in it after recording this.

[Kikó]

Yeah but we're fucking shit so it's just easier to assume there will be nothing to enjoy about a United game and if there is it's a bonus.

I can't imagine our half of shit won't be published by a team as good as city. I think Rashford has officially become Trashford so even that isn't something to cling onto.

[Lewis]

Anthony Martial always seemed to turn up for City. Doniel James as well. Oh well.

[Raoul Duke]

It's all set for an Elanga banger

[Reg]

Top work titling, Ian. What perfect timing - it's almost like Leeds did it for TTH.

Not sure about midweek Cup games but nice that Spurs are treating it seriously with Kane and co.

[Ben]

Not sure about midweek Cup games but nice that Spurs are treating it seriously with Kane and co.

Yeah it's great. :moop:

[Spikey M]

Doherty :D

Square it you mong.

[Ben]

Our keeper is bad. Been caught flying off his line numerous times this season.

[Shindig]

Been an alright half. Boro need to move it quicker if they want to cause some proper problems, though. Spurs are just gearing up for the counter.

[Manc]

Shearer at this point might be the baldest man on the planet.

[Spikey M]

I have no idea why Bergwijn isn't used more by Spurs. He always makes a huge difference and they're nowhere near big enough to be having "supersubs".

[Ben]

I thought that front three would batter us as they did to Leeds but they did pretty much nothing and indeed it’s taken Bergwijn for them to do anything threatening.

[Shindig]

Boro would've probably had this if they just put their foot through something.

[Ben]

Fucking hell, the BBC really want to push the fear; live TV has never been shoved off for the news, it’s always delayed.

[Ben]

Boro would've probably had this if they just put their foot through something.

Yep. Bergwijn 118’ all over this.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Yep. Bergwijn 118’ all over this.

I've got Spurs on pens.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's a lovely finish.

[Spikey M]

Lol

[Shindig]

There you gan. Smash it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sol Bamba? Bloody hell.

[Shindig]

Lloris going keeper to keeper sums it up. :D

[Waffdon]

1498798038269186059

86 years old? He won’t even make it through 90 minutes of watching Romelu Lukaku try control a football before his ticker goes

[niko_cee]

He's selling.

:drool:

[SincereTheRebel]

You have to be a straight badman to give a Russian a lot of money right now

[niko_cee]

It's all going to help the Ukrainians charidee.

[Lewis]

If he does get sanctioned will he even be able to sell it? What a dork. Ride it out and cry anti-Semitism like a man.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

If Mellin pulls his finger out we could make an offer.

[Shindig]

"Sorry, we don't accept bitcoin."

[Ben]

Kenedy :eyemouth:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Luton :cool:

Good start.

[Manc]

Perraud with a sumptuous strike.

[Baz]

Liverpool are gonna win 4 trophies aren’t they :youpi:

[phonics]

If he does get sanctioned will he even be able to sell it? What a dork. Ride it out and cry anti-Semitism like a man.
The whole point is to sell it before he gets sanctioned. I thought you were Mr. more intelligent than everyone.

[Bam]

The whole point is to sell it before he gets sanctioned. I thought you were Mr. more intelligent than everyone.

He's been sanctioned. I thought you were Mr. more intelligent than everyone.

[phonics]

No he hasn’t?

[Lewis]

If they don't sanction him in the next couple of weeks then they probably won't at all. Can you sell a two billion pound football club to a decent buyer in a few weeks? He should just sit tight and dare the government to confiscate it.

[phonics]

That’s literally what he’s trying to do. Hence why he’s made the first official statement in his entire time since he took them over. They’ve stated that the price will plummet the more days it goes on.

[phonics]

He's been sanctioned. I thought you were Mr. more intelligent than everyone.
Now I’ve double confirmed it. You really are the thickest piece of shit around. Truly impressive. You make Harold look like a symbol of logic and reason.

[Bam]

Now I’ve double confirmed it. You really are the thickest piece of shit around. Truly impressive.

:D

[Lewis]

That’s literally what he’s trying to do. Hence why he’s made the first official statement in his entire time since he took them over. They’ve stated that the price will plummet the more days it goes on.

That is suspicious to me. It just incentivises the government to rush the sanctions through quicker, lest they be accused of letting him CASH IN, so I'm leaning towards thinking it's a work.

[phonics]

Yeah I can’t imagine the government giving rich Russians a heads up. They’d never do that. It’s not like the Prime Minister spends his holidays on Lebvedevs boat. It’s almost like this money goes quite high up.

[phonics]

:D

The emoji you were looking for is ‘I was wrong, sorry’.

[Lewis]

The United Kingdom struggles to deport murderers. The idea that it could just confiscate a geezer's football club without falling foul of a million wanky laws... It's a work mate. Give it two weeks, Russia wins, all the freaks will move on (probably back to covid). No worries.

[phonics]

Your contrarianism gets so tiresome. If it goes through he gets his 1.5 billion back. If it doesn’t and this goes away then he’s set the market because he’s been long done with it since novichok times.

[Lewis]

Maybe Vince McMahon will buy it. :drool:

[niko_cee]

Strange period of time where the government almost ends up owning Liverpool after the RBS/Wachovia shit and ends up getting its hands on Chelsea by way of confiscation 10 years later.

[Ben]

Fabricant for Chelsea chairman.

[John Arne]

I was thinking, if anything this whole situation with Roman kinds shows that sports washing doesn't really work. Roman could have easily just have bought 10 London properties instead and remained relatively off the radar. Buying Chelsea has done nothing for his (or Russia's) image. I suppose it somewhere opened up the market to other shady businessmen, but I'm not sure that was exclusively a Russian problem.

All hail the Saudi's.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Tbf it was going pretty well until his pal started cluster bombing orphanages.

[Shindig]

If the Saudis ever got into a war people care about, we'd be in the same boat.

[Boydy]

The Saudis must be kicking themselves at having bought Newcastle now.

[Shindig]

I dunno. It's a bigger deal to strike with higher expectations. Not that the Saudis are a modest lot. Plus the Premier League would still hold it back for a year.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think sportswashing is less about 'image' in the sense of being on the cover of Vogue, and more about encouraging people to do business with your very dodgy country/region. As such I don't think the oligarchs are really sports washers. Just money launderers.

The worst sportswashers are the Gulf states, Saudi, Azerbaijan etc who are trying to make legitimate in rich western eyes their often-brutal regimes.

[Shindig]

Yeah, that's why a Grand Prix works better than buying a club. You bring people in to attend and then build a tourism industry off the back of it. I'd go to Azerbaijan. The castle looks lovely. Saudi Arabia can't compete with that.

[Giggles]

I’d say Stan Kroenke has had more people killed and ruined more lives than Abramovic.

[Jimmy Floyd]

How so? Dodgy farm machinery? Roman's done a bit of bastardry in his time, mainly in the 90s.

[SvN]

I'd never heard of Jesse Marsch, so I just looked him up. Leipzig's record before/after him is a comical indictment to how inept he seems to be. Leeds are going to finish bottom.

[-james-]

I'd never heard of Jesse Marsch, so I just looked him up. Leipzig's record before/after him is a comical indictment to how inept he seems to be. Leeds are going to finish bottom.

If only Leeds had spent five minutes on Wikipedia.

[Ian]

I just Wiki'd Kroenke to see who he'd murdered and didn't see much at a glance but spotted this which I entirely missed at the time:
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/aug/04/arsenal-owner-kroenke-bans-trophy-hunting-bloodsports-from-tv-channel


Stan Kroenke, the owner of Arsenal, has ordered his new TV streaming service to stop showing big-game hunting.

Kroenke has been heavily criticised after the UK launch of MyOutdoorTV, which is run by Outdoor Sportsman Group (OSG), part of Kroenke Sports and Entertainment, because it shows videos of hunters with dead animals.

[Magic]

If only Leeds had spent five minutes on Wikipedia.

I remember the heady days of our recruitment policy being based on Football Manager potential ratings.

[Lewis]

United should be in for that woman who runs Chelsea if there is an executive collapse/refresh.

[-james-]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60605957

Fucking lol. The best bit is that Goodwillie was already at Clyde when the women's team was formed.

[Don]

Fantastic :D

[Lewis]

Presumably at that level the sort of piddling incomes provided by sponsors etc. makes any boycott a bit of a weak threat compared to the prospect of being promoted or just winning enough games to get a few extra tickets sold. Do the people who can't understand it miss that?

[Waffdon]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60605957

Fucking lol. The best bit is that Goodwillie was already at Clyde when the women's team was formed.

It’s a shame he couldn’t keep his dick in his trousers or stop himself from knocking out bouncers as he was genuinely brilliant player. Would have went for more to Blackburn if the whole rape court case didn’t happen.

Still, he’s a hero for 2010 if nothing :cool:

[Waffdon]

Palace/Everton
Forrest or Huddersfield/Liverpool
Middlesbrough/Chelsea
Southampton/Man City

Chelsea/Liverpool final again it is. They both couldn’t have had 3 easier games if they tried so far

[Lofty]

No posts about the new Champions League format then?

[Shindig]

It sounds like a lot of football.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1499473636373274634

It's weird.

[Lewis]

That sounds worse.

[Ben]

Pathetic.

[Ian]

As if the group stages weren't dull enough, yeah sure let's turn it into a league. Great.

[Giggles]

What a load of bollocks.

[niko_cee]

Chelsea/Liverpool final again it is. They both couldn’t have had 3 easier games if they tried so far

Seems the FA have done a good job in keeping the big sides apart and on track for the semis, for the most part.

[Ben]

We've already seen off Man Utd and Tottenham so there's no reason why we won't dump out Chelsea as well.

Our year.

[Shindig]

Another home tie, too. Two sell-outs in the space of a month. Exciting times.

[-james-]

1499473636373274634

It's weird.

The problem with the caption in the tweet is that it is quite clearly broken. The Swiss thing should be better tbh. In theory pretty much every game will matter. The issue is the 100 additional games bit. They need to bin the league cup or something off.

[Baz]

Can’t see it lasting so whoever wins the first one or two in that format should get a special edition trophy.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Another fan down.

[Shindig]

If I play my cards right, I can grab a season ticket from one of these.

[Lewis]

Do they still leave seats open for them plane crash fans?

[Lofty]

The new CL format seems like they copied the ESL's homework.

[Shindig]

Do they still leave seats open for them plane crash fans?

I assume that went quietly away as soon as we stopped clapping for them. Plus who's going to renew that and not sit there?

[Boydy]

New Champions League format sounds fucking shite.

[-james-]

Didn't everyone think the Nations League was a load of wank and then end up rather liking it?

[Ian]

Does everybody like the Nations League?

I mean, it's better than friendlies but so's chucking a bucket of water on the drive and listening to it dry.

[Shindig]

I think it loses something by being an annual competition. The novelty was good. The novelty is gone.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Weirdly enough, if there's anything that should use the Swiss system it's the Nations League.

[Waffdon]

I think it loses something by being an annual competition. The novelty was good. The novelty is gone.

It’s great for shite countries like Scotland. Bit useless for any teams that qualify every tournament

[Kikó]

Does everybody like the Nations League?

I mean, it's better than friendlies but so's chucking a bucket of water on the drive and listening to it dry.

Brilliant.

[Baz]

I just had to google Nations League to see what you’re all on about. I suppose the clue is in the name.

[Manc]

I suspect most of us will be tuning out over the next few years. The sheer amount of football will be unbearable.

[Luke Emia]

Yep, with the chance of sound all old man shout's at cloud there is just too much and the constant effort to cram more and more in is crazy. With these changes for the Champions League realistically you will probably need a 35-40 man squad plus youngsters on top. But, what do you do if you build that squad and then don't qualify? It's easy for City, PSG, Bayern, Madrid and the like as they know they will be pretty much in every year. But for a club that might only qualify every other year what do you do?

[Luke Emia]

Hang on I've just seen on the Beeb that Amanda Staveley doesn't think it's fair Abramovich has to sell... Jesus.

[Reg]

I can definitely see people switching off from the Champions League with the 10 fixtures in the group stage/Swiss system.


If we take the 2020-21 Champions League seedings, Premier League champions Liverpool could have a "Swiss Model" fixture list of: Bayern Munich, Juventus, Atletico Madrid, Shakhtar Donetsk, Ajax, FC Salzburg, Olympiakos, Krasnodar, Lokomotiv Moscow, Stade Rennes.

Sure, some would watch all 10 of those games. But how many (legally)? A few hundred in the UK?

Jim's long been saying on here that domestic league competition is what people care about, and the reaction to the Super League was about as much proof as we need.

[Ben]

I've heard nothing of a "Swiss model" (with regards to football in my life) until the last day or so and now it's everywhere. What does it even mean?

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's what they use in chess tournaments, whereby a large number of participants can play out a meaningful tournament and all play several league matches without having to play an entire round robin. So let's say you had 100 participants and only time for 8 matches each, then you have 50 boards going, the winners from round 1 play each other, then those with 2 wins play each other, then those with 3 wins etc, so at the end hopefully only one person has a perfect record while everyone else has been drawn in roughly equal matchups all the way through.

The football Champions League version however removes all its advantages, by having too many games and pre-scheduling them all regardless of results.

[Adramelch]

It's basically this system where you have a big league but not every team plays each other. It's common in chess I think?

[Ben]

Got it, cheers.

[-james-]

You're completely right about having to pre-schedule them all, I never considered that lol. It does sound like it'll be bollocks then.

[niko_cee]

360 matches, nigh on a full domestic season in match terms, to whittle a field of 36 down to 24?

Maybe if it wasn't a random draw thereafter [so 1 v 16*] in the last 16 etc, but even then :cab:.

*dunno how you'd determine the 16th seed, either winner of the 9 v 24 match or the lowest ranked remaining team.

[Don]

Dias out for about 4-6 weeks is fucking tasty news. 10/04 is us.

[niko_cee]

Read Dias as Diaz. Tasty indeed.

[Reg]

It's what they use in chess tournaments, whereby a large number of participants can play out a meaningful tournament and all play several league matches without having to play an entire round robin. So let's say you had 100 participants and only time for 8 matches each, then you have 50 boards going, the winners from round 1 play each other, then those with 2 wins play each other, then those with 3 wins etc, so at the end hopefully only one person has a perfect record while everyone else has been drawn in roughly equal matchups all the way through.

The football Champions League version however removes all its advantages, by having too many games and pre-scheduling them all regardless of results.
That's a good point, and the prescheduling effectively means it's just several groups of 11 teams, right?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not really, as there will be crossover in the schedules. You might even see certain teams have much 'easier' schedules than others.

[niko_cee]

More like the NFL, but without the divisions, conferences, or any meaning other than being in the top 8.

Really, it's not like any other sporting format, because it makes very little sporting sense.

[Reg]

Yeah, fair. It doesn't sit right with me, but maybe it's aimed at a different sort of fan.

[Ben]

It’s aimed at money, not fans.

[Ian]

It's aimed at keeping the biggest clubs in the knockouts forever, if at all possible, and making sure that every possible combination of big team playing each other repeatedly until it's literally impossible to care about.

[Giggles]

Are they still going to do the thing where the big clubs don’t really need to qualify any more?

[Mike]

Read Dias as Diaz. Tasty indeed.
Same! Phew

[Lofty]

Surely clickbait but apparently Sky are bringing back Masters Football but with mixed teams of men and women :D

[Giggles]

It’s not far away that the main game will be integrated.

[Magic]

Buzzing for today. Raph hatrick.

[Mellberg]

North Stand expansion confirmed. It’s the old shit one next to the club store for anyone who has been. Take the ground to over 50k with a 20k season ticket holder waiting list. Confirms no move from Villa Park :drool:

[Ben]

Was there an actual possibility of moving?

[Don]

Mad to think an attack boasting the likes of Harrison, Roberts and James could be plying their trade in the Championship, Bielsa has ruined these players.

Gelhardt I'd take though.

[Magic]

Unlucky but we're going down.

[Mellberg]

Hesgoal no Premier League? Anyone have alternatives?

[Mellberg]

Was there an actual possibility of moving?

No official word, but we can only build so far back on the one side due to houses, so it's always been a possibility. Once the North Stand is done, if you replicated the Trinity on the Witton Lane side you have a 60k+ ground, but I just don't think we can without demolishing houses.

[Ben]

1500094921172213763
Mellberg

https://redi1.soccerstreams.net/ looks decent.

[Mellberg]

I’m up and running. Thanks though.

Coutinho should have two, but he’s just an absolute pleasure. So good to watch.

[Clunge]

Saucy afternoon at VP. This could be the run.

[Boydy]

1500142500673212418

:D

Ha.

[Shindig]

I'm loving this run we're on. Thursday's our first game in hand against Southampton before Chelsea murder us at Stamford Bridge. Good to see the existing players getting in on the action, too. Fraser's having a good time of it, as is Jacob Murphy.

Meanwhile Gateshead beat Kidderminster 4-0. Still top but with Kidderminster and Brackley having two games in hand and just the four point lead to play with. Tight.

[Ben]

Darlington just beat Blyth 1-0 after playing 25 minutes injury time, scoring the winner in the 112th minute.

[mo]

Darlington just beat Blyth 1-0 after playing 25 minutes injury time, scoring the winner in the 112th minute.

Well that somewhat tops a penalty winner in the 5th minute of stoppage time, but I'll enjoy it no less.

[Mellberg]

Outrageous performance today. Even Callum Chambers was setting up goals with 20 yard outside of the boot balls in behind. Could’ve been about 7.

Hoping for a top half finish for the first time in 11(!!!) fucking years.

[Ben]

Yeah Diaz is outstanding.

[Gray Fox]

Diaz very good. Robertson and Keita saved the team several times over but everyone else was a bit crap there. No idea what Lanzini did to miss the target from there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60619414

Roberto Carlos looking very THICC there and just look at the crowd going wild:

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/onesport/cps/976/cpsprodpb/11347/production/_123517407_hi074324961.jpg

Shropshire's finest.

[Kikó]

If you fancy some morning gore away from the Ukraine invasion, go to Twitter and look for atlas. Huge riot/fight with 17 dead.

1500357098978394113?t=1Dje8QlX3Moa74VsNi6crQ&s=19

[Don]

Jesus christ, I wanted to watch fights and instead got some of the worst atrocities I've ever seen. Fucking animals, no wonder Pepe identifies as a frog now.

[Shindig]

Proper WWE chair shots, as well. :D

[Ian]

1500148385889804289

Hah. :D

[CJay]

1500148385889804289

Hah. :D

No, definitely not a nasty player.

He looked like he was on for a Green Street-esque (stop, stop, he’s already dead, etc.) pummelling before he realised who it was.

[niko_cee]

I hope Eriksen uses this goodwill free pass he apparently has to become the snidest [snidiest?] player going.

[Lewis]

If you fancy some morning gore away from the Ukraine invasion, go to Twitter and look for atlas. Huge riot/fight with 17 dead.

1500357098978394113?t=1Dje8QlX3Moa74VsNi6crQ&s=19

1500281694317957123

Longer action thread. What's with all the stripping people naked whilst trying to beat them to death? Bit gay lads. :happycry:

[Manc]

Fucking animals.

[Shindig]

Casually stepping over a lad having a seizure is ... a look.

[Ben]

What a lovely goal from Arsenal.

[phonics]

Absolute peach.

[phonics]

And another at the other end...

[Ben]

Wow, that was a corker too.

Any reason Arsenal are wearing red shorts? Don't think I've ever seen it before.

[phonics]

Normally it's because the kits clash but I'm not sure what part of Red and White clashes with Yellow and Black.

[phonics]

Is there a rule that only super cool goals are allowed to be scored today?

[randomlegend]

Utd are going to get turbo-humped today.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

And another great goal.

This game has been good value.

[niko_cee]

I've just watched about 10 minutes of this game and it's been absolute bedlam the entire time.

[phonics]

Literally been like that since about 12 seconds in.

[Ian]

Ronaldo out, Elanga as the centre-forward. This should be fun.

[randomlegend]

Ronaldo out, Elanga as the centre-forward. This should be fun.

Rumours are it's Bruno as the fabled FALSE 9, with Elanga and Sancho either side. But who knows.

I'd have Elanga CF over any of our other strikers but Cavani at the moment tbh.

[Lewis]

He'll score two/the winner, it will go down as 'The Elanga Derby', and the club Twitter will be posting about it ten years from now when City have won another eight titles to United's none and he plays in Turkey.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Well it was nice that we lasted so long.

[Waffdon]

That cross came into the box in slow motion

[Ian]

That cross came into the box in slow motion

The cross might have come in at 0.5x speed, but our defenders' brains run at 0.25 unfortunately.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The cross might have come in at 0.5x speed, but our defenders' brains run at 0.25 unfortunately.

That's being kind to them, especially Maguire.

[Luke Emia]

Fuck sake United are shite.

[Kikó]

Fucking right we are. Fuck off you Scouse cunts.

[Giggles]

Buying Harry Maguire is one thing, pretending you didn't make a mistake is a whole other level of fucking up.

[Ben]

Well that was always on the cards.

[Ian]

Jason Dancho. :cool:


Fucking right we are. Fuck off you Scouse cunts.

:D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lovely goal, we'll batter them.

[Gray Fox]

Nice of them to let you score.

[Ian]

The state of that. :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Maybe we wont batter them.

[Ben]

With Walker and Stones at the back and Dias out, City will need a couple more to be safe.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Another crowd member down.

This seems to happen in every other game.

[Gray Fox]

Vaccine strikes again.

[-james-]

Mad how United look like a football team when they drop the rapist.

[Luke Emia]

Mad how United look like a football team when they drop the rapist.

Which one?

[-james-]

Which one?

:eyemouth:

[Waffdon]

Phil Foden definitely has the Mason Greenwood vibes about him. Horrible chav cunt

[Waffdon]

Fernandes is incredibly bang average

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Phil Foden definitely has the Mason Greenwood vibes about him. Horrible chav cunt

Well they were thick as thieves in Iceland.

[randomlegend]

More laughable defending, fucking hell :D. Haven't seen that corner routine actually work in about 15 years.

Wonder how much we'll have to pay Newcastle in the summer to get them to take Maguire off our hands.

[niko_cee]

Fucking right we are. Fuck off you Scouse cunts.

Always the way.

Wasn't the last time they won at home against you that season it went to the wire with a single point in it?

[Ben]

That's not what VAR is for. Basically telling the linesman he is wrong because he missed Telles' little toenail playing Mahrez on.

[Waffdon]

Thought that smashed in off his face for a second :D

[Waffdon]

That's not what VAR is for. Basically telling the linesman he is wrong because he missed Telles' little toenail playing Mahrez on.

It’s all a bit odd, isn’t it? Mahrez and Mane yesterday both looked offside whereas Lukaku last week the opposite and his is the one chalked off

[Ian]

Well that was pretty pathetic.

[Giggles]

Utd need some clearout. Could hire 100 more managers and that shower of lazy/useless cunts would still be the same.

[Ben]

It’s all a bit odd, isn’t it? Mahrez and Mane yesterday both looked offside whereas Lukaku last week the opposite and his is the one chalked off

It's the Premier League's fault. They've created this Stockley Park hub which is ordering these head-scratching decisions. I've watched a bit of Serie A this year and mostly they just send the referee to the monitor and let him use a bit of common sense.

[phonics]

Wait, we don't have to beat Liverpool, Chelsea or Spurs and we'd still be in 4th? :drool:

[Ben]

Keano has lost it here. :D

[Manc]

Keane going nuclear. :drool:

[Waffdon]

Wait, we don't have to beat Liverpool, Chelsea or Spurs and we'd still be in 4th? :drool:

It would be a monumental bottlejob if Arsenal don’t get 4th

[niko_cee]

It would be a monumental bottlejob if Arsenal don’t get 4th

So, given how the last 2 or 3 seasons have gone [with respect to the 4th place trophy] then that's nailed on to happen I guess.

[phonics]

Monumental bottlejob is being 1 point ahead with 13 games left? Calm down.

[Giggles]

In fairness it was Waff, the man who only deals in extremes.

[Kikó]

Always the way.

Wasn't the last time they won at home against you that season it went to the wire with a single point in it?

I haven't remembered a premier League season for about 10 years unfortunately. Is match of the day still a thing?

[niko_cee]

:D

Know the feeling all too well.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I remember the ones won by teams other than City.

[Boydy]

1500357081467170819

:lol:

[Shindig]

That's just good fun. :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:D

[Baz]

I rather enjoyed the hypocrisy of all the anti-Russia, pro-Ukraine symbolism, while also showing recurring adverts for United Arab Emirates around the entire stadium. Hopefully nobody was streaming the game in Yemen. :harold:

[Waffdon]

Monumental bottlejob is being 1 point ahead with 13 games left? Calm down.

three games in hand and Man Utd have all the difficult teams left to face. You should coast it, it would be a proper bottle job

[Manc]

At what point did "bottle job" seep into the football narrative?

[phonics]

three games in hand and Man Utd have all the difficult teams left to face. You should coast it, it would be a proper bottle job

The three games in hand are Liverpool, Chelsea and Spurs and we still have United to play...

[Shindig]

I just don't see how United and Spurs get the form together to take 4th. Ragnick's not got a clue what his best team/formation is whilst Spurs have wobbled from the sublime to the ridiculous. Arsenal seem a lot more stable and together than that lot.

[phonics]

I think it's in Arsenals hands but not everything is THE ULTIMATE BOTTLEJOB. It's sport.

[Gray Fox]

All of the teams will shit themselves a few times and trip up on the run in. It Arsenal avoid losing to United and then take a win from one of their games in hand they should have it.

They seem to have re found that knack of beating the shitters with reasonable comfort.

[phonics]

Not sure I would say anything about todays game was relative comfort.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'd be stunned if we even get into Europe, we're absolutely rancid.

[Don]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60637196

In other news, 351 Ukranians a fitness doubt for the return leg in Moscow.

[Kikó]

United don't have the goals to finish 4th. While we're defensively suspect, we just don't score enough to worry teams. Arsenal should be finishing 4th comfortably and it would be the greatest bottle job ever if they didn't.

[Giggles]

Only seen Keane now. He's defintely a changed man when Richards didn't land in the bottom tier of the stand.

[Ben]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60637196

In other news, 351 Ukranians a fitness doubt for the return leg in Moscow.

17 deaths quickly became 26 injured, 0 deaths. Twitter is a cesspit.

[Kikó]

https://twitter.com/medranoazteca/status/1500294274729975814?t=U2xoFUpmmXDeeKavH9JjeA&s=19

That's a tweet from a local reporter. Some suggestions still that the "no" deaths is inaccurate.

[Ian]

Schmeichel: "Far too many players are either not good enough, or don't care enough. "

I think it's unfair to suggest that both can't be true.

[Ben]

Who we putting in the "don't care" category?

[Luke Emia]

Schmeichel: "Far too many players are either not good enough, or don't care enough. "

I think it's unfair to suggest that both can't be true.

I don't know. It's plain to see that Lindelof, Maguire, Wan Bissaka, Telles, McTominay and Fred are not good enough to be starting for a top level team. Then you've got Bruno, Varane & Sancho who are good enough in the right set up and Ronaldo who is obviously a bit of a problem in the fact that other than goals he doesn't really do much else. Which is fine if the rest of the team is good enough/functioning but it's not and it isn't so he then becomes an even bigger problem than he would be if he was playing for someone like City for example and his sole job was to put the ball in the back of the net.

Watching Wan Bissaka yesterday was mind blowing because not only is he not good enough but he also doesn't appear to want to run the hard yards to harry and chase people down. So I don't really know what he offers to the team.

[niko_cee]

I see the worst Juve team in modern history is sitting 7 points off the pace in Serie A with 10 games to go. The presence of serial bottlers Acey Meelan and Napoli above them would make you think in normal times they'd probably easily overturn that sort of deficit, but I guess Inter have the pedigree now to maybe hold them off.

I make no Ronaldo based comment here.

[Manc]

I'm surprised Ralf hasn't been laughed out of the job. Paulp Ogba pressing from the front was a thing of beauty.

[Ian]

I don't know. It's plain to see that Lindelof, Maguire, Wan Bissaka, Telles, McTominay and Fred are not good enough to be starting for a top level team. Then you've got Bruno, Varane & Sancho who are good enough in the right set up and Ronaldo who is obviously a bit of a problem in the fact that other than goals he doesn't really do much else. Which is fine if the rest of the team is good enough/functioning but it's not and it isn't so he then becomes an even bigger problem than he would be if he was playing for someone like City for example and his sole job was to put the ball in the back of the net.

Watching Wan Bissaka yesterday was mind blowing because not only is he not good enough but he also doesn't appear to want to run the hard yards to harry and chase people down. So I don't really know what he offers to the team.

I'm not sure if you thought I was disagreeing with Schmeichel there...?

I assume you can't be saying I was being too harsh given how bad we are. :D

[Kikó]

United have a team of lazy individuals. Team Trashford has released a comment about how he might have to leave today without any understanding that he's playing like absolute shit in every game. The point about AWB is a good one and reflective of many, the illusion of working towards the ball but actually just ambling. It's why we get outplayed as we are just lazy.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are certain footballers who I think run less hard once that big contract is signed. It's the sort of thing you notice at your own club. Willian was the worst ever for it. As soon as the contract was signed, he would just clock off for a year or two.

[Gray Fox]

Keane had it right yesterday. It's one thing to not be good enough, but a whole other to not even try.

I wonder if having an Interim Manager in place is making that worse.

[Ian]

Well it seems half of them had a strop when he asked them to run so while interim might not be helping I think the bigger issue is that they're fucking cunts.

[Ben]

Keane had it right yesterday. It's one thing to not be good enough, but a whole other to not even try.

I wonder if having an Interim Manager in place is making that worse.

They were between a rock and a hard place with that though. Solskjaer had to go, but the top level candidates they ought to be attracting just aren't available in November.

[Kikó]

They don't run hard for a proper manager never mind interim. It's the players ultimately. I think we've not done due diligence on the type of characters we're bringing in and then indulged a number of slapped arses with big contracts (Lingard, Marital, Pogba, Shaw, Rashford). The dressing room must be rotten and training laughable.

[Waffdon]

17 deaths quickly became 26 injured, 0 deaths. Twitter is a cesspit.

There’s definitely at least 10 dead and that was me only counting the naked bodies in about 5 different videos.

[Don]

Newcastle must have a raging boner to sign Rashford. Howe can waste a humongous amount on a mixed-race-ish black attacker whilst homing a national treasure and getting some solid PR, talk about a match made in heaven.

[Offshore Toon]

Howe has proven he can get a fuckload out of previously average players so he'd have Rashford getting 20 a season.

[niko_cee]

So what you are saying is Howe is at Ole's managerial level?

[Offshore Toon]

In PL. Other comps don't count.

[Manc]

Not a patch on Bruce.

[Shindig]

I wouldn't give Rashford a chance, to be honest. I don't even think he likes football.

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, I wouldn't want him either. I see no reason to not aim for 4th next season.

[Ian]

If he was taking some absolute bottom end contract then sure but if he left United (I suspect he won't) some idiots would probably cough up the money for him so no point competing with them.

[SincereTheRebel]

There are certain footballers who I think run less hard once that big contract is signed. It's the sort of thing you notice at your own club. Willian was the worst ever for it. As soon as the contract was signed, he would just clock off for a year or two.

And somehow, he left millions on the table

[Raoul Duke]

They were between a rock and a hard place with that though. Solskjaer had to go, but the top level candidates they ought to be attracting just aren't available in November.

Conte was out of work when they croaked Ole Gunnar Binman

[Shindig]

Did they actually approach Potchettino? I wouldn't be surprised if United wanted an interim boss from the off. Not even the board knows what direction to take.

[Raoul Duke]

He'll go to Utd and Zidane will go to PSG

[Shindig]

If I ever see Unai Emery in person, I'm buying him a drink for rejecting us.

[Ben]

Conte was out of work when they croaked Ole Gunnar Binman

Conte with the current United squad of dossers would have been pretty epic.