Marsch football

[Giggles]

He sounds suicidal at Spurs so I’d say he’d take it.

[Lewis]

Whoever the next manager is needs some sort of overt executive backing (a six year contract/Sir Alex Ferguson endorsement) to let the players know that they will be chucked overboard before him.

[Ben]

Pickford :D

[Baz]

Mon Forest

[CJay]

Ben Tanker in the Tottenham midfield is looking good tonight. Is that a trend or is it because he’s playing against Fat Frank’s hopeless Toffees?

[Ben]

Well Everton are definitely diabolical so who knows?

[Spoonsky]

That's a wonderful goal.

[Manc]

Frank. :harold:

[Shindig]

This is turning into a disaster for him. When did Everton last drop down?

I forgot the fans spooked away the other candidate, too. :D

[Giggles]

Are Everton the only ones to never drop down?

[Shindig]

According to wikipedia, there are no English clubs to have avoided the drop. Everton went down in 1930 and came straight back up. I think that's the run they're on.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Arsenal haven't gone down as Arsenal, only as Woolwich Arsenal before world war one.

[phonics]

Whoever the next manager is needs some sort of overt executive backing (a six year contract/Sir Alex Ferguson endorsement) to let the players know that they will be chucked overboard before him.

Great tweet from someone I saw recently is like ‘ saw someone a while back saying that man utd need to hire their own vindictive little cunt and give him obscene amounts power like arsenal did with arteta and it's so true’

It’s not even a pro arteta tweet you just need someone to call a cunt a cunt and fuck them out of the building. I think there’s a total of about 3 players left from when he took over less than 2 years ago.

[Jimmy Floyd]

United will never do anything again until they start focusing on football as their number one priority, which I doubt will happen under the Glazers.

[phonics]

With these American owners it’s weird. I fully believe that they saw they finished second and thought Ronaldo signing for United and Tom Brady signing for the Bucaneers would have had the exact same effect. I genuinely believe it wasn’t a sponsor thing.

[Panda Bear]

Who'd have thought NFL quarterbacks, who barely run and get plenty of rest throughout a stop-start game, would age better than footballers who play 45+ minutes per half in perpetual motion?

The quarterbacks even get to start with the ball every play with nobody able to prevent them from getting the ball initially.

[Lewis]

1500199103673909249

The fucking noise when he goes over. :lol:

[Giggles]

Was listening to a podcast on the way to work and they were saying about how Obafemi can switch countries now because of a recent rule change, without elaborating as to what the rule change was. Anyone shed some light? Is it an age thing, as he's played in a real game as far as I know.

[Ben]

I'm going to take a stab at: if you're under 21 (23 maybe?) and have played less than four internationals (competitive included) you can switch. It's something bollocks like that.

[niko_cee]

Close:


Those rules have now been relaxed, allowing a player to change nationality as long as they have only featured in three international fixtures, including qualifiers - but not tournaments like the World Cup, must have been less than 21 years of age at the time of playing and can only switch after three years of no international activity.

[Giggles]

Yeah I'd found a bit in the meantime, though the article was written before it was signed off fully. From what I read, things change a bit if you've been called up in the 3 years but turned it down once you've played at all. I think Obafemi hasn't been asked to join a squad in 2 years so far.

[Waffdon]

Apparently after Nottingham Forrest’s win last night, their match against Liverpool is their first QF opponents since Bayern Munich. Da fuck

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

10 minute hattrick for Lewandowski.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bovid baccine strikes again.

Someone in the crowd down at Anfield.

[Raoul Duke]

What's going on in the Liverpool game? Another person croaked in the crowd?

[Ben]

I know the country is heading for an abyss in terms of paying pensions for the growing amount of old cunts but offing them on international TV with such a controversial vaccine isn't the most subtle way to go about it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lautaro :cool:

More please Inter.

[Magic]

That's harsh.

[phonics]

That’s a bullshit red card. I don’t understand what the players supposed to do there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://streamja.com/Xqznr

Neco Williams with a great goal for Fulham.

[phonics]

Has this ref been paid off by Liverpool. That might be the lowest high foot I’ve ever seen.

[Manc]

Madrid have started this game at a million miles an hour.

[Don]

Mbappe is silly. Made Alaba shit himself ffs.

[Manc]

Get your mortgage on a red being shown in the second half.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That dummy by Mbappe was filthy.

[Don]

Scenes reminiscent of prime Ronaldo.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

lol Donnarumma.

[Giggles]

This is the first champions league game in about five years hasn’t bored me to tears. Rarely see one with any pace about it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

PSG bottling it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Gahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha.

[Lewis]

I wonder if Messi and Ronaldo agreed to time their declines to annoy their respective fanbases. If one of them was still killing it whilst the other flubbed it would be carnage across the online Middle East.

[Lewis]

lol what a game.

[Magic]

:harold:

[Danny]

What the fuck is happening here

[-james-]

:happycry:

[Lewis]

That is Lyon Benzema finishing.

[Waffdon]

Benzema really has been incredible since Ronaldo fucked off. He was brilliant anyway but fuck me the last two/three years

[Shindig]

Every year, PSG finds a way. :D

[Giggles]

That Vinicius lad has no left foot at all does he? Cuts inside every time he’s basically clear to goal on his left.

[Jimmy Floyd]

'Bottle job' is overused, but this is one. Proper old fashioned Gallic collapse.

[Waffdon]

The third goal is some finish

[-james-]

I only switched on just before the equaliser, but PSG have been unbelievably bad. Match fixing tier.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I only switched on just before the equaliser, but PSG have been unbelievably bad. Match fixing tier.

That was my first thought, but it's not like these blokes are underpaid.

Neymar late goal to break the hearts of plucky Real Madrid.

[Magic]

If it was Italian or German yes but French no match fixing. Just proper surrendering.

[-james-]

Must be some comical shit that goes on behind the scenes at PSG. They're an absolute joke.

[Ben]

Classic Frenchies.

[Magic]

Funniest thing is all the Hispies wearing masks in the crowd. :harold:

[Manc]

Modric is some player.

[-james-]

Must be some comical shit that goes on behind the scenes at PSG. They're an absolute joke.

1501690119216107520

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lol at the Qataris. Stupid enough to be taken in by the criminal Platini (who was shilling arms sales for Sarkozy) and end up with a pointless French team. Should have bought Ipswich, lads.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1501696579027222528

:lol:

[Waffdon]

MadridZone has about the same amount of credibility as the Metro

[Lofty]

Chelsea sanctioned the shit out of via Abramovich, not even allowed to sell match tickets apparently? :D

[randomlegend]

Not allowed to make transfers, not allowed to offer players new contracts, not allowed to sell tickets or merchandise.

If it goes on for any protracted period then they are fucked.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fair fucks, I thought they would do less than that. The seething from the dickhead wing of our support will be glorious. Go and do some more lines in solidarity with Putin, you stupid fucks.

I'll try and buy it off Rishi for a fairly negotiated deal of £500 and I never pay tax again.

[randomlegend]

MadridZone has about the same amount of credibility as the Metro

The official UEFA report confirms they were very aggressive and blocked the referee in his room. Says they hit some equipment, not a person, though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Thankfully, RA never owned the club name or the stadium (Ken Bates gave these to 'Chelsea Pitch Owners' who valiantly resisted Abramovich attempts to buy them up over the years), so we've got those.

[niko_cee]

Hopefully they put [Sir] Gavin Williamson in charge.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Williamson can be manager. Has quite a middle-of-the-Championship manager disposition (GW on his tracksuit top, or maybe SGW), which is where we will soon be.

Look forward to doing this all again with Man City and/or Newcastle in 20 years' time.

[Giggles]

Could they not have just let it be sold?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Could they not have just let it be sold?

No, because then he gets the money.

From a quick scan of the forums it seems there are two main strands of fan reaction: what-abouting, and 'this is unfair it punishes the fans, why can't I go to games'. This is life, my fellow blues. You live by the blood money, you die by the blood money.

[Luke Emia]

Fucking hell that's glorious.

[Waffdon]

He’ll take them to court and smash them no doubt. I don’t think he’s lost a court case yet

[Luke Emia]

He’ll take them to court and smash them no doubt. I don’t think he’s lost a court case yet

That probably works out worse for Chelsea though in the long term. Because that could take months/years. They could be a shell of a club by that point.

[niko_cee]

:happycry:

[Mellberg]

Matty Cash is just a machine. £50m player. Shame he's Polish.

[Mellberg]

Turns out Callum Chambers is fucking Pirlo too. The goal tonight and assist last week are outrageous.

[Magic]

Bloody hell this is absolutely awful. 3 down and they're still looking likely to score more.

[Alex]

We're absolutely appalling. This team would struggle badly in the Championship I think. Particularly at the back, it's like watching children defend.

[Mellberg]

Leeds are outright booing their players every time they fuck up. It's properly vile and they're disintegrating because of it. Deserve to go down and look like they might. Sorry boys.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sacking Bielsa was a properly thicko move from desperate money men, he was the figurehead holding the city together.

Nice win from us to start the sanctions era, can we get out ahead of the 9 point deduction figure to get Matt Miazga some CL football next autumn.

[Magic]

This is why unity so important. Marsch doomed. Gone by the end.

[Alex]

Sacking Bielsa was a properly thicko move from desperate money men, he was the figurehead holding the city together.

Nail. Head.

It will turn very toxic very quickly now.

[Shindig]

Well, that was tense. Probably shouldn't have won that. Chelsea will turn us over on Sunday but coming out 10 points clear of the drop is some turnaround.

[-james-]

I've just clocked that Neymar is 30. Not sure why but I thought he was still 26 odd. Qatar beckons I think.

[Offshore Toon]

Losing just isn't a realistic scenario at this point. Imagine if Joelinton and ASM are back. :drool:

[Lewis]

That Ruben Neves goal was really good. Him and Declan Rice in the summer please, Marina.

[Shindig]

Losing just isn't a realistic scenario at this point. Imagine if Joelinton and ASM are back. :drool:

I did wonder if we'd lose some bite in the midfield but Guimaraes' finish was lovely.

[Offshore Toon]

Aye, I wasn't sure how things would go with Joe missing but we did alright. There's so much fight in this team right now. We had absolutely none six months ago.

[Ben]

Shitting yourselves because Joelinton is injured. :D

What a turnaround.

[Manc]

I'm surprised managers don't reconsider players positions more often. A master stroke from Eddie.

[randomlegend]

Load of reports around this morning that United have the process of appointing the new manager well underway and will be done within the next few weeks. Looks like Poch or Ten Hag. No idea who would actually be better but the hipster cunt in me would prefer Ten Hag.

[randomlegend]

I'm surprised managers don't reconsider players positions more often. A master stroke from Eddie.

I mean it does get tried fairly frequently, no? Just rarely works. I guess there's a lot of groundwork to playing a particular position laid throughout players' time in the u18s etc. and it's hard to pick all that stuff up on the fly as an older player.

Although having said that you do hear of quite a few players who end up playing a different position to the one they played when they were in the youth teams.

[Magic]

His stats in FM 05/06 etc. :drool:

EDIT: Wait, might be getting him mixed up?

[Adramelch]

He's like 25ish at the moment, so yeah.

[Baz]

Remember Alan Smith at centre mid. :harold:

[Ian]

THE NEW KEANE. :drool:

I have very fond memories of when he first joined us, all the other strikers injured so it was just him and I'm sure he scored at a good rate


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIyjhbUfKEU

:drool:

[Mellberg]

Smith definitely Ashley Younged his start at United. Remember him doing really well.

[Offshore Toon]

https://youtu.be/PeB1B6sDjVI

I think this is the worst highlight video I've seen.

[Ian]

What it needs is a techno soundtrack.

[Lewis]

Load of reports around this morning that United have the process of appointing the new manager well underway and will be done within the next few weeks. Looks like Poch or Ten Hag. No idea who would actually be better but the hipster cunt in me would prefer Ten Hag.

Erik ten Hag is worth the punt because he's either the Next Big Thing or he's an 'AVB'-like easy mode fraud, so you're either sorted or what's another wasted season? Smallpockets meh.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60720343

The Premier League has disqualified Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich as a director of the club after the oligarch was sanctioned by the UK government.

PL acting swiftly as ever.

[Kikó]

I wonder how Chelsea fans and Lewis will take the news?

[Lewis]

Me and the bombed out starving people of Yemen have got questions.

[Gray Fox]

I reckon if the ball trickles wide of the post there the keeper is off.

[John Arne]

How on earth is that not a red card?

Just kicks him in the chest, ball way gone already. Genuinely no idea. Not even a yellow.

[niko_cee]

From the livetext it reads as if the Afcon Bros are back to not passing it to each other again.

[Gray Fox]

Yeah they are and it's annoying. Liverpool would be 3 up if they could. Klopp seen screaming pass the ball at Salah says enough.

[John Arne]

Dias quickly becoming our best striker is great to see :)

[thommo]

Some more great Championship refereeing. Seems to be the only way we lose right now. This decision is particularly awful though.

1502635265013297160

[Boydy]

Lallana off 6 minutes after coming on ffs. :D

[Gray Fox]

Hate seeing those given with a player so close, but under the new rules its a slam dunk.

[Gray Fox]

Very strange game that. Seemed like between minutes 5-85, Brighton forgot how to play. Liverpool never got going either and there were 3/4 times there was an easy tap in for someone if they squared the ball but kept it and went themselves.

[phonics]

Need a 0-0 today.

[niko_cee]

He may not be able to run much, but probably not the best idea to back off and let Ronaldo shoot unopposed from 20 yards.

[-james-]

How has Lewis not posted about Pogba's head yet?

[Lewis]

Baldp Ogba. Is it making him play any better?

[Ben]

He's got a very shiny head.

[niko_cee]

Aside from taking a decent freekick, I reckon the best counter to the modern phenomenon of the wall draft excluder strategy is to aim at the hand of the draft excluder and then try to get a penalty.

Shit, didn't realise they'd got a pen whilst I typed that. Pretty rubbish decision/rule. Don't see how that is at all different to the Dier one really.

[niko_cee]

lolenham lolspurs

[Waffdon]

Aside from taking a decent freekick, I reckon the best counter to the modern phenomenon of the wall draft excluder strategy is to aim at the hand of the draft excluder and then try to get a penalty.

Shit, didn't realise they'd got a pen whilst I typed that. Pretty rubbish decision/rule. Don't see how that is at all different to the Dier one really.

Dier’s hands were in a natural position Telles literally punched it away

[Ben]

The draft excluder is a complete waste of a man. I recall precisely one goal in the last 30 years that went under the wall.

[niko_cee]

Dier’s hands were in a natural position Telles literally punched it away

They were both away from the body about the same amount, and I would say natural given what they were doing. Dier's were behind him as he was lunging whereas Telles' was in a running stance. Maybe the cross was from a bit further away/hit less hard than Ronaldo's shot but I don't know. Just feels like if you freeze frame it they both looked like they were somewhat away from the body, but neither above the shoulder/at a point where it is a de facto handball under the current interpretation.

[Danny]

Dier’s hands were in a natural position Telles literally punched it away

Yeah, natural

1502707411022450697

[Kikó]

Baldp Ogba. Is it making him play any better?

Pogbald surely.

[-james-]

Yeah, natural

1502707411022450697

They were both giveable, sort of thing that VAR will neither give nor rule out, so just a coin toss really. The handball rule is obviously fucking retarded though.

[Waffdon]

What a plur

[Ben]

:lol:

[Shindig]

Gateshead took another win today. 4-2 against Gloucester. I also didn't clock that Steve Watson had left York to go to Chester. He keeps ditching teams in play-off contention. He did it with us, dropped down a league to York and now he's joined wrong end of the table Chester.

He'll never reach binman status with that attitude.

[Giggles]

Hope his representatives have the apology pre written at this stage.

[Shindig]

Ralf should really be moving him up the pitch. I wouldn't want that head anywhere near home base.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He's an absolute fucking plum.

[Danny]

Ronaldo :cool:

[Gray Fox]

Tom Brady loving it.

[Kikó]

Give Ronaldo a 4 year deal.

[Lewis]

And a licence to rape.

[Lofty]

Isn't that just 'enough money'?

[randomlegend]

The draft excluder is a complete waste of a man. I recall precisely one goal in the last 30 years that went under the wall.

People started doing it after there were quite a few freekicks scored under the wall in a short space of time and it's never gone away.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've always thought the entire wall should go, let alone be added to by some dick playing dead behind it like the kid trying not to get bullied by the bigger boys.

[Baz]

Ronaldo :cool:
What a beast.

[Luke Emia]

I've always thought the entire wall should go, let alone be added to by some dick playing dead behind it like the kid trying not to get bullied by the bigger boys.

I used to play with a keeper(I’m aware it’s not the same standard) but he never had a wall. His basic thought was if someone spanks it top corner from there then wall or no wall he’s not saving it.

[Shindig]

Cuts out the risk of being done by a deflection. He might be on to something.

[Luca]

Maguire is a fucking donkey, but what a beast Ronaldo is. :cool:

[Waffdon]

Maguire is a fucking donkey, but what a beast Ronaldo is. :cool:

You’re not wrong

[Luca]

Erik ten Hag is worth the punt because he's either the Next Big Thing or he's an 'AVB'-like easy mode fraud, so you're either sorted or what's another wasted season? Smallpockets meh.

I’m bought into this line of thinking. At this point, though, I’d pick the person with the cojones to sack all the time wasters before pre-season even started.

[niko_cee]

On the no wall subject, pretty sure Ronaldo's opener shows you why you need to have one. Unless you have some other sort of wacky plan to keep the ball out of the net [men on the line?] then any halfway decent professional footballer is going to be able to launch the ball into the top corner at an unsaveable pace if you give them a free shot from 25 yards, never mind top top set piece takers. Just imagine how many more Ronaldo himself would have had if he hadn't spent an entire career smashing it into the wall/stand?

Probably works quite well as a theory in amateur football [as does not moving from penalties until they are struck] because the pace at which the ball is hit is nowhere near the same.

[Shindig]

I’m bought into this line of thinking. At this point, though, I’d pick the person with the cojones to sack all the time wasters before pre-season even started.

Here's a thought: Bielsa.

[Gray Fox]

PSG fans booing Neymar and Messi every time they get the ball. You love to see it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Messi must be loving life. Why didn't he just take a pay cut and stay at Barcelona?

[Pepe]

He should have known from his time with Argentina that he is dogshit anywhere that isn't Barcelona.

[niko_cee]

Footballers [and their agents] never get that.

It's the same with the Salah situation. His agent is going to laugh in the face of whatever offer Liverpool put in front of him, but he'll be wank if he goes anywhere else for the payday.

[Shindig]

If I was to be generous to Messi, he probably saw PSG and thought, "Oh, I've played with Neymar before so I'm not going in completely blind." As for the money aspect, Barca were in such deep shit, he'd have to play for free. He won't work for that and PSG would always match what he was on. If he was willing to effectively become a volunteer, he wouldn't have faxed his transfer request off a year previously.

It's a shame because his inability to adapt to those around him is the only black mark against him. When their careers are over, Ronaldo will be remembered as the evergreen bastard he is. Messi will just be Barca's boy.

[Offshore Toon]

Our team looks a bit pants. 4-2 incoming.

[Waffdon]

Eddie Howe must be regretting that line up now that Chelsea are playing Chalobah/Sarr at full back. Fraser and Saint Maximin would have had a right fun time.

[Ian]

PSG fans booing Neymar and Messi every time they get the ball. You love to see it.

Really? :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Utterly dreadful game so far, as it always is when we put Timo Werner on the field to murder every single attack without fail.

[-james-]

Wolves are just so bad. I don't think there's ever been a worse team in 8th place.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This is one of the worst games I've seen all season. Teams overpressing high and constantly giving away free kicks, overhit straight balls for goal kicks, players walking over 40 yards to take a throw-in and and then giving it to someone else because obviously that will make all the difference.

[Waffdon]

Reece James most influential player in the league for sure. No Chilwell either doesn’t help much

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have absolutely no idea how we've got away with that. Chalobah has demonstrably got a huge chunk of shirt in his hand. How is it not a penalty? VAR refs are just appalling in their cowardice.

[Luke Emia]

I’ve not watched all this game but from what I’ve seen this is one of the most incompetent referee performances I have ever seen.

[Luke Emia]

I have absolutely no idea how we've got away with that. Chalobah has demonstrably got a huge chunk of shirt in his hand. How is it not a penalty? VAR refs are just appalling in their cowardice.

I’ve noticed more and they don’t give decisions on the pitch anymore either. Then it goes to VAR it doesn’t get overturned as they don’t feel it’s clear and obvious when the ref didn’t initially give the decision.

[Luca]

I thought the same, Jim. Looked a stonewall penalty to me.

[Waffdon]

I’ve not watched all this game but from what I’ve seen this is one of the most incompetent referee performances I have ever seen.

He’s tragically bad. As is Malang Sarr. How on earth is he a professional footballer

[Jimmy Floyd]

I’ve not watched all this game but from what I’ve seen this is one of the most incompetent referee performances I have ever seen.

It's been the performance of a ref with no confidence, seizing on any opportunities to give free kicks in pointless areas, but freezing whenever there's been a decision to make in the attacking third. No massive howlers from him but he's not top flight standard.

Also a very poor game from Tuchel - he gets a lot of praise for someone who has shown he has absolutely no answers to the unavaibility of James and Chilwell.

[Waffdon]

He’s so good :drool:

Lukaku being forced into the starting line up was Tuchel’s biggest mistake

[Gray Fox]

That finish is exquisite.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was Bergkamp-esque. Wonderful player.

[Waffdon]

Someone at Chelsea needs to teach Mendy how to kick a football properly. He stands over it like a proper mong

[Waffdon]

Lampard is taking Everton down. Their run in is brutal as well even with the games in hand

[randomlegend]

Told you all how good Havertz would be.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Told you all how good Havertz would be.

Only after I said it.

I called instantly Havertz good, Werner shit.

[Spikey M]

Yeah well I said he would be amazing the day before that.

[Giggles]

I got wordle in 2.

[niko_cee]

It was a nice touch and all [terrible defending] and he's nice to watch in a languid sort of way but in terms of 'output' I'm not sure why everyone is creaming themselves tbh.

[Waffdon]

Leicester concede a goal from a corner ever week it seems

[Jimmy Floyd]

It was a nice touch and all [terrible defending] and he's nice to watch in a languid sort of way but in terms of 'output' I'm not sure why everyone is creaming themselves tbh.

Has really come on strong this calendar year, I would say.

I've taught myself not to mind Arsenal doing well, as it means United missing their objectives.

[Waffdon]

He is only 22 as well. Salah and De Bruyne were there at the same age looking like bang average players.

[niko_cee]

The age to quality linear progression is such a lazy myth.

I'm not sure most players really get that much better as they age [relative to how highly they are rated as prospects]. De Bruyne was always exceptional, and it was known since he was about 15 [hence why Chelsea spent a relative fortune on him]. Salah, yeah, not sure anyone really saw what he's done since going to Liverpool, but before Chelsea tried to sabotage his career [as well] he was pretty shit hot for Basel.

Also, +1 for the Arsenal support. If Palace can do something against City then maybe Liverpool can reciprocate in the week as part of some anti-United alliance.

[Magic]

Omg. :drool:

[Shindig]

Does 10 goals a season in the Swiss Super League count as shit hot?

[Waffdon]

The age to quality linear progression is such a lazy myth.

I'm not sure most players really get that much better as they age [relative to how highly they are rated as prospects]. De Bruyne was always exceptional, and it was known since he was about 15 [hence why Chelsea spent a relative fortune on him]. Salah, yeah, not sure anyone really saw what he's done since going to Liverpool, but before Chelsea tried to sabotage his career [as well] he was pretty shit hot for Basel.

Also, +1 for the Arsenal support. If Palace can do something against City then maybe Liverpool can reciprocate in the week as part of some anti-United alliance.

£7m for a 21 year old is hardly an absolute fortune. :D

I’m not sure how Chelsea tried to ruin Salah either. He was genuinely average at best whenever he played over two seasons

[niko_cee]

I thought they paid £16m for him, is that what they sold him for?

Whatever, he was a known [and rated] quantity.

[Shindig]

You're right about the development, though. Well, probably. At that point it becomes more about the tactics you're slotted into and the people you play with. Individual talent still has an influence but it's more about roles and responsibilities. You can work with Werner forever and he still won't develop an eye for goal.

[Waffdon]

Werner scores 20 goals every season for Leipzig and 30 odd in his last season. He’s just absolutely useless for a team like Chelsea and more so the league. He’ll score that again once he moves back to Germany. Even if it’s Bayern he joins, teams still don’t bother dropping deep to defend against them. Joke of a league

[Jimmy Floyd]

They must have all been 6 yard tap-ins into empty nets, because I haven't seen any evidence he's got a decent shot in his locker.

[-james-]

The age to quality linear progression is such a lazy myth.

I'm not sure most players really get that much better as they age [relative to how highly they are rated as prospects]. De Bruyne was always exceptional, and it was known since he was about 15 [hence why Chelsea spent a relative fortune on him]. Salah, yeah, not sure anyone really saw what he's done since going to Liverpool, but before Chelsea tried to sabotage his career [as well] he was pretty shit hot for Basel.

Surely it's not controversial to say that the average footballer has a peak age of around 25-29? Your example De Bruyne apparently wasn't good enough for the Premier League until he was 24, and he wasn't viewed as the complete package straight away, iirc?

I had a quick look at minutes by position and age this season, was a little surprised to see defenders skewing so young. All the outfield positions average out to 27ish.


https://i.imgur.com/8RT4umm.png

[Waffdon]

Soyuncu’s fall from grace the last two years has been pretty special

[Jimmy Floyd]

Will Kasper Schmeichel ever stop charging at refs when he's completely wrong? Should be sent off every time.

[Waffdon]

schmeichel complains at everything. Proper angry bastard

[Ben]

Re: Werner.

The Germans just love reckless high-line defending; it's even seeped through to the national team who aren't the best defensively now either. I'm not convinced Haaland would break 20 in a season here.

[Ben]

Leicester are bad. Can't be long now before Rodgers jumps ship.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've watched five games of football this weekend, average 1.00 goals per game (I missed United/Spurs), all crushingly dull. Roll on the summer.

[Alex]

Omg. :drool:

:happycry:

I mean it was Norwich. At home. And we made the hardest work of it. But I'm a fucking happy man. I've not experienced the kind of elation over football that I got from that winner going in for quite some time. If nothing else this has confirmed what we already suspected, Gelhardt is the messiah.

It should have been sewn up by half time though. And what on earth was that last 20 minutes or so all about where the entire team decide to collectively lose their heads and were just hitting the panic button every time the ball approached our box? Madness.

[Shindig]

You created plenty which is a big start. It really is between Everton and Burnley for the last spot.

[Lofty]

Any update from Don on Odegaard watch?

[Don]

Remains absolutely useless, as do Arsenal and Arteta. Never going to reach our level with shite like that.

[Lewis]

1502722562270371844
Taz sending Beano on his way.

[Lofty]

Remains absolutely useless, as do Arsenal and Arteta. Never going to reach our level with shite like that.

Same points taken in the last ten games as you and City though :sherlock:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Odegaard was really good today, as were a few of them. They need to be a bit harder though, Saka in particular has some very Rashfordian traits in terms of being down on the deck the whole time feeling the absolute maximum injury out of any situation he's in, and letting everyone know about it.

[Lofty]

I agree on the Saka thing. Feels like it is a reaction to him getting some rough treatment and rotational fouling earlier in the season but it is an over correction.

[Adramelch]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bsR_f4tjXY&t=1m3s

How is that not given? 1m03s in (apparently the timestamp doesn't work on the embed).

[John Arne]

Oooff. Elbow and half that. Sacked by his club after the game

1503095773159956489

[mo]

What an odd way to strike someone.

[Lofty]

Muay Thai isn't it?

[niko_cee]

Agreed. At least it's a legit red card offence though, rather than all the pissing and moaning about the Havertz one.

[Spikey M]

I was saying that's never a Havertz red card years ago.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Agreed. At least it's a legit red card offence though, rather than all the pissing and moaning about the Havertz one.

I assumed that was just Sky trying to drum up some controversy to enliven the worst game of 2022 so far, but it appears the murder magpies are telling themselves it was a ROBBERY.

[Shindig]

Sky didn't show it in their youtube highlights so I figured there wasn't much in it. The shirt tugging ones are never given.

[SincereTheRebel]

PSG fans booing Neymar and Messi every time they get the ball. You love to see it.

Mbappe is about to walk away for free. What a legend.

[Ben]

England need to stick a cap on Olise before the French get to him.

[Baz]

https://i.imgur.com/DmtnlRj_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium

:baz:

[Giggles]

What have the Laithwaites been at?

[Lewis]

https://i.imgur.com/DmtnlRj_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium

:baz:

Please post in the designated thread.

[Baz]

For Ben: https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?2816-Dominic-Calvert-Lewin-is-gay

[Spoonsky]

Palace could have won it at the end there. Still, marvellous result.

[Ben]

Erm, cheers. :D

[randomlegend]

People whose jobs give them access to private information about celebrities who then spread it around for clout are absolute cunts.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Especially when it's bullshit.

[Boydy]

People whose jobs give them access to private information about celebrities who then spread it around for clout are absolute cunts.

Are court listings not public?

[randomlegend]

If they are then I was just making an entirely unrelated point.

[Boydy]

It's still a valid point, carry on.

Although I imagine it's all bullshit. Does anyone get arrested for "solicitation" these days? Seems a very 90s crime.

[-james-]

He's probably got caught speeding one too many times. Just crass football fan homophobia as usual.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, I saw speeding and failing to produce ID alleged. As Boydy says, who gets arrested for solicitation? It isn't the 70s.

[phonics]

Several takeaways

1) guy who shows contact and time stamp of person feels like when James Rodriguez was accused of not playing because he was having surgery to become transgender

2) this constant rumour around anyon e who plays in Liverpool certainly makes the whole ‘you’ll never walk alone’ shit seem completely false.

3) who gives a fuck sort your life out

[Baz]

lol at Boro

[Boydy]

How come Arsenal - Liverpool is on tv on Wednesday night when Chelsea are playing in the Champions League? I thought UEFA banned domestic games being televised when a team from that league was playing in the Champions League?

[Danny]

There have been a few lately. I think its cause of the covid cancellations.

[Ben]

Got to be a loophole because it was a postponed game that was supposed to be on television anyway.

[niko_cee]

Was it postponed due to the League Cup Final? Was probably slated for Sky. I believe the ones that haven't been shown to date were BT games and they simply elected not to show them [or were contractually obliged not to due to their Champions League rights].

[Spoonsky]

Ronaldo’s been giving Elanga jumping lessons.

[Lewis]

The 'keeper would have been finished if that went in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Atletico side has such a fascinating vibe. A majority of grizzled gypo roughers, with maybe one Rolls Royce in midfield and then this trio of absolute pretty boy show ponies, one of them somewhat confusingly playing right wing back.

Basically southern European male populations perfectly mapped into a football team.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Since when has Fred turned into Jay Jay Okocha?

[Don]

Bruno, this ain't the prem and this ain't your debut season, you diving gyppo :D

[Lewis]

Fred might start playing two touch with this confidence.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We're not winning this.

[phonics]

What was that from De Gea?

Atletico don't create much but every time they do it seems so, so easy.

[randomlegend]

Fuck's sake, we were actually playing well then throw a goal away with dogshit defending.

Was a foul on Elanga as well.

[-james-]

João Felix is brilliant. Arsenal should go all in for him if they get fourth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What was that from De Gea?

Atletico don't create much but every time they do it seems so, so easy.

Composure, a very underrated quality in football.

[phonics]

João Felix is brilliant. Arsenal should go all in for him if they get fourth.

Is he actually good? Ben White's the only person who's come in for 50 million and looked good out of four.

[randomlegend]

João Felix is brilliant. Arsenal should go all in for him if they get fourth.

Why the fuck would he go to Arsenal and why the fuck would Atletico sell him, lmao? You know they paid 126m euros for him right?

[Waffdon]

Lmao!

[randomlegend]

And indeed rofl.

[Lofty]

Is he actually good? Ben White's the only person who's come in for 50 million and looked good out of four.

You think the other signings haven't looked good?

[Mellberg]

United don't even have the character to implode here. Meek surrender, or 2-1 Ronaldo.

[phonics]

You think the other signings haven't looked good?

Pepe, Aubameyang, Lacazette none of them have particularly blown me away.

[-james-]

Why the fuck would he go to Arsenal and why the fuck would Atletico sell him, lmao? You know they paid 126m euros for him right?

I don't think he's been a great fit at Atletico, and while it wouldn't be cheap, it wouldn't cost 126m euros. Why wouldn't he go to Arsenal?

I'm not saying it's likely, but it would be worth a go because he's exactly what they need. Maybe settle for Haaland if Atleti won't budge.

[Lofty]

I misread that and thought you were on about Tomiyasu, Ramsdale and Odegaard :moop:

The Joao Felix thing was a bit lol but he was apparently linked with a move to Arsenal as his time at Atleti has been seen as a flop move. Coutinho went to Barca for a king's ransom and is currently on loan at Villa after all.