The Travel Thread

[Magic]

Going to Dublin at the end of June. Was the only place my unvaxx ass could go without testing.

Shithole.

[Magic]

Getting the army on standby for the airport :drool:

Buzzing for this.

[Giggles]

Shithole.

It’s been one for years and it’s very easy find out it’s one before booking it. Horrible place.

[Magic]

It’s been one for years and it’s very easy find out it’s one before booking it. Horrible place.

Centre is alright but very expensive and full of forrins. We're staying at Croke Park, which is a bit tinky. Wouldn't come back, but would go to a different part of Eire.

[John Arne]

I've just arrived at Saigon airport to start a 28hr journey back to the UK. First time back since Aug 2019. Woop.

[Giggles]

Centre is alright but very expensive and full of forrins. We're staying at Croke Park, which is a bit tinky. Wouldn't come back, but would go to a different part of Eire.

Limerick for a city or west Cork and Kerry for more rural. Plus it means getting a flight to Cork or a Shannon instead.
Dublin really is an awful kip now. It was never the nicest city but used to be a bit of craic, most of that is all gone too because of the price of stuff.

If you were in the Croke Park hotel you could have went to a Shelbourne match :eyemouth:

[niko_cee]

I remember Dublin being mentally expensive back in the 2000s so what are we talking for a pint now?

[Giggles]

Depends if you're in a normal pub (around €6) or in one designed for tourists somewhere like temple bar (around €9). If I was out in it I tend to stick to the likes of the Galway Bay chain of pubs because they serve more than Guinness, Heineken, and Morretti. The likes of those will have a more varying price as there would be a big range of ABV's like the menu in my first port of call http://galwaybaybrewery.com/blacksheep/

[Spikey M]

Centre is alright but very expensive and full of forrins. We're staying at Croke Park, which is a bit tinky. Wouldn't come back, but would go to a different part of Eire.

You just described every city in the developed world. They're all shitholes that the locals won't live in.

[niko_cee]

Depends if you're in a normal pub (around €6) or in one designed for tourists somewhere like temple bar (around €9). If I was out in it I tend to stick to the likes of the Galway Bay chain of pubs because they serve more than Guinness, Heineken, and Morretti. The likes of those will have a more varying price as there would be a big range of ABV's like the menu in my first port of call http://galwaybaybrewery.com/blacksheep/

That seems alright. I remember it being €6 a pint in 2004 and then probably more in 2009 when the exchange rate had tanked and thinking that both times it was pretty spicy price-wise. Most of those places probably pretty touristy, although not all in Temple Bar. Watched the Portugal game at the Euros in some massive sports bar which had 1 small tv in the corner on a different feed that was about 4 seconds ahead of the big screen/all the other tvs. :face:

Also remember somewhere called The Duke [maybe] which was famed for its Guinness apparently, but that was probably BS. Better downstairs than upstairs etc.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A crisp pint of Guinness on the emerald isle. A real bucket list item. Happy St Patrick's Day.

[Giggles]

The majority of pints of Guinness in Dublin are muck because they’re just throwing them out across the bar as quick as possible and they’ll be bought by tourists no matter what they’re like. Gravediggers is the top of the pile for a good pint of it but anyone would be better off going somewhere that had O’Hara’s on tap instead of the big G.

[Magic]

It's nearly always at least 10 euros for a shitty gin and shitty tonic. :sick:

[Magic]

Limerick for a city or west Cork and Kerry for more rural. Plus it means getting a flight to Cork or a Shannon instead.
Dublin really is an awful kip now. It was never the nicest city but used to be a bit of craic, most of that is all gone too because of the price of stuff.

If you were in the Croke Park hotel you could have went to a Shelbourne match :eyemouth:

There's a semi final on Saturday apparently which is exactly when we're leaving. :facepalm:

[Spikey M]

I didn't find Dublin that expensive when I went, but that was about 7 years ago now. The main problem I had was every bar thinking we wanted to be assaulted by a knob with a guitar and a bloke sat banging on a box drum. And Potato Stew being the only food in half the pubs. I know it's tourist central, but you don't have to lean into the stereotypes that hard lads.

[Magic]

Mind the exchange rate is toilet at the moment too.

[Giggles]

There's a semi final on Saturday apparently which is exactly when we're leaving. :facepalm:

That's the first hurling semi and will be in Croke Park itself, they're expecting 60,000 for it so it'll get a fair bit busier around there on Saturday after you go.

Tolka Park (soccer) is a short walk up the road, next home game is Friday the 8th. Though if you think Dublin is shit then a lower end league of Ireland game isn't going to do much to improve that :D

[Giggles]

I didn't find Dublin that expensive when I went, but that was about 7 years ago now. The main problem I had was every bar thinking we wanted to be assaulted by a knob with a guitar and a bloke sat banging on a box drum. And Potato Stew being the only food in half the pubs. I know it's tourist central, but you don't have to lean into the stereotypes that hard lads.

The stew and coddle are for the yanks.

[Spikey M]

The stew and coddle are for the yanks.

Was always going to be I guess. Same reason we still have tHe QuEeNs GuArD strutting about with Marge Simpsons hair on.

[Waffdon]

Either Jet2 are shit hot at Edinburgh airport or people are crying over nothing. Left the house at 11.00 and was sitting with a cocktail in my hand by 12.30.

Fast track security for £5 might be my smartest ever purchase. Causally swaggering pass people like a boss.

[Magic]

Either Jet2 are shit hot at Edinburgh airport or people are crying over nothing. Left the house at 11.00 and was sitting with a cocktail in my hand by 12.30.

Fast track security for £5 might be my smartest ever purchase. Causally swaggering pass people like a boss.

Edinburgh was fine. Dublin on the other hand...

[Spikey M]

Either Jet2 are shit hot at Edinburgh airport or people are crying over nothing. Left the house at 11.00 and was sitting with a cocktail in my hand by 12.30.

Fast track security for £5 might be my smartest ever purchase. Causally swaggering pass people like a boss.

The problem is staff, so it's different at each airport. Security at Manchester is meant to be murder, where as Flight providers are begging Gatwick to let them give up flight slots because they just can't honour them. I dread to think what Stansted is like because it was terrible long before all of this bollocks.

[Giggles]

Edinburgh was fine. Dublin on the other hand...

Is the fast track even open again in that kip yet?

I’ll have to cancel my formal shandies with Kiko if it remains as bad.

[Magic]

Is the fast track even open again in that kip yet?

I’ll have to cancel my formal shandies with Kiko if it remains as bad.

It is. It was more baggage than security (circa 1hr in terminal 1). There was TONNES of hold luggage piled up everywhere. Absolutely chaos.

[Giggles]

I can’t see our defence forces making much of a difference. The extent of their organisational skills is making sure there’s enough kegs in the phoenix park camp.

[Kikó]

Frankfurt is supposed to be stimulating shit although the last few weeks me and the wife flew in/out and saw minor problems other than a slight flight delay. Another chance to test it this week with a flight to Portugal but hoping Air Europa does the business.

I was also able to get my compensation for my flight that was moved on the morning of. €400 back after going to the ombudsman.

[randomlegend]

I dread to think what Stansted is like because it was terrible long before all of this bollocks.

We flew from Stansted when we went away in April and it was as smooth as it could possibly be, no queues or delays for anything.

[Spikey M]

We flew from Stansted when we went away in April and it was as smooth as it could possibly be, no queues or delays for anything.

I've refused to fly from there since our trips to Turkey in 2014 and Dublin in 2015. The former involved being stuck on the plane for 2 hours after landing, the latter wating for 2 hours for our baggage. Grudges :cool:

Southend Airport is the best. Off the plane and in the Taxi within 20 minutes.

We're (hopefully) flying from Gatwick in October, but it's with EasyJet and they're one of the companies trying to dump their flight slots so I'm not feeling overly optimistic.

[randomlegend]

The miniscule Biarritz airport - where none of the staff seemed to have seen a computer prior to that day - was much slower.

They spent about 40 minutes and called in about 5 escalating levels of management to decide whether a guy could take his skateboard on with him.

[randomlegend]

I've refused to fly from there since our trips to Turkey in 2014 and Dublin in 2015. The former involved being stuck on the plane for 2 hours after landing, the latter wating for 2 hours for our baggage. Grudges :cool:

Southend Airport is the best. Off the plane and in the Taxi within 20 minutes.

We're (hopefully) flying from Gatwick in October, but it's with EasyJet and they're one of the companies trying to dump their flight slots so I'm not feeling overly optimistic.

We're flying from Heathrow in August. I was a bit perturbed at the Heathrow news the other day but from what I can make out it's only BA affected and we're flying with Human Rights Abuses Airways.

[hfswjyr]

I've only flown out to Southend once, and it was before COVID, but I'm pretty sure they had more staff on at security that day than they had passengers.
Excellent service, would fly again.

[Waffdon]

Tenerife really is the pits.

Vamossssss

[Ben]

Went downhill when they closed Hooters.

[Waffdon]

Their prices are stuck in 2009. €1.80 for Estrella and San Miguel ty Gracias bye bye

[Kikó]

Baggage reclaim is shite.

[Bernanke]

1547931264774115328

[Kikó]

Staying on lake Windermere this weekend. View is incredible from the hotel but unfortunately the hotel room was Baltic last night. Baby woke up about 1am ice cold. Apparently they don't turn the heating on in the summer so that's ok then (but charge 5* foreign hotel prices)

[-james-]

Off to Thessaloniki next week – anyone been?

How did you find it? Spending a few nights there next week.

[randomlegend]

A week til we fly to the Maldives :eyemouth:

[Manc]

Be careful with those guns on the beach.

[randomlegend]

Hoping my license to open carry them comes through in time.

[Luca]

Speaking of Ireland, I got the GS tour of Belfast the other week. He donned a flak jacket once we entered the Catholic areas, but it was otherwise pretty good 'craic'.

[Giggles]

The only way that black tramp would enter a Catholic area would be to drop off a pipe bomb.

[Baz]

Booked a nightmare-inducing kids holiday (complete with gaudy “magic room”) but sun is sun, I guess. Roll on Lanzarote in March.

[Clunge]

How did you find it? Spending a few nights there next week.
Liked it, perfect for a few days. Lots of historical nuggets all over the place, you're on the northernmost bit of the Aegean and the view at sunset around the bay Thessaloniki sits on is very nice from just about wherever you are. Lots of great restaurants, and it's not that difficult to get some decent, trad food. We found a couple of really nice tabernas. We inadvertently ended up staying in the studenty, late-night quarter and that was buzzing until 2/3am every night. Nice atmosphere. Food/drink generally cheap too. And you can walk around the main city centre just fine, no need to faff around with buses unless you want to head further out. From the top part of the city centre bay to where it sort of peters out was about a 40-45 minute walk along the water.

[Waffdon]

Schiphol Airport looks a right barrel of laughs

[randomlegend]

I am prescribed zopiclone to take very intermittently in case my sleep goes to shit again and I've just realised last night that it's illegal in Qatar. We're staying in Doha one night either way as it made the flights much nicer.

Trying to speak to their medical attache to work out what I need to do to not get put in Qatari prison. :moop:

[Jimmy Floyd]

As an expert on things that are illegal in Qatar, I'd say it's the price you pay for going via there.

[randomlegend]

Yes. Didn't think it through given it's literally just a stopover in a hotel for a night, which is my fault. Only alternative was Dubai which I don't think is any better. Times for direct flights were awful.

Ah well. I've gathered the necessary paperwork their embassy/attache has advised so should be ok.

[Spikey M]

And if not we get a cracking thread in 5-10 years. Win-win.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Assuming he isn't executed.

[Spikey M]

Nah, he's not an unmarried woman with his shoulders on display, he's just a druggy.

[Giggles]

Germany was gash. Horrible place, you lot were right to invade.

[Kikó]

What didn't you like? Were you in Munich?

[randomlegend]

Managed to book the airport transit hotel, meaning we don't have to go through Qatari immigration and deal with their covid restrictions or get arrested for being a drug trafficker.

Cost was a bit painful (given we can't get the money back on the transfer or hotel in Doha) but feels worth it.

Driving to their airport today, fly to Doha tomorrow and then Maldives Monday. Can't wait.

[Bam]

Thanks for the update.

[Don]

:rasta:

[randomlegend]

Thanks for the update.

Imagine me posting about travel in the travel thread.

[Shindig]

I would've just left the pills at home, mate.

[Giggles]

I was thinking the same. Going through that for a convenience, you’d swear they were keeping him alive.

[randomlegend]

The last time I got bad insomnia, I didn't sleep for five full days and wanted to kill myself. People underestimate how bad prolonged sleep deprivation is.

It's not convenience. I take them if I really, really need to and not otherwise. I don't want to be stuck on an island in the above situation.

[Spikey M]

Just get pissed.

[Kikó]

I'm taking a six hour train to Vienna tomorrow with the 7 month old. Pray for us.

(Hope the post is ok, Bam)

[wullie]

We're booking for Lake Garda next year and the Google algorithm has now shown me a news item about how the level of the water has never been lower. Looking forward to beautiful views over the dust bowl.

[Waffdon]

Schiphol Airport looks a right barrel of laughs

Don’t listen to the EasyJet lies. Must have had about 3 different updates from them to tell me to arrive at the airport 2.5/3 hours before our flight due to issues in security. Literally took 1 minute to get through. No pub or even shops to wander through were open for the 1st hour and a bit ffs

[Mike]

Booked to go to Portugal in October, Porto Santo to be exact. First trip abroad for a while and will be doing it with a one year old...

[randomlegend]

Qatar really is a nice airline. Way better than when we flew BA.

[Bam]

Cool story bro.

[randomlegend]

What is your problem with me :D

You've been doing it loads recently, it's so fucking weird.

[Bam]

:sorry:

[Giggles]

What is your problem with me :D

You've been doing it loads recently, it's so fucking weird.

It’s Bam, he actually thinks it’s humorous.

[randomlegend]

If you want to get slapped about like Waff, Tragic or Taz then come at me, but the current act is just sad.

[randomlegend]

Tiny bikinis I was expecting, but some Italian woman in her 40s with tits like melons rocking up to dinner in a loose-knit beach coverup and absolutely nothing else took me by surprise.

Literally may as well have been naked.

[Spikey M]

I'm assuming the pictures are to follow?

[randomlegend]

On our way back.

The Maldives really is incredible. It's the definition of paradise. Highly recommend it to anyone considering going.

The snorkeling was a real highlight. The reefs are absolutely teeming with the most amazing tropical fish.

Banger of a holiday.

[Manc]

Bam

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Can we have your return flight details so we can track it please?

[Shindig]

"Just got through security. #HereWeGo"

[Bam]

Bam

:D

I don't want to get slapped about like Waff, Tragic or Taz. :worried:

[Offshore Toon]

Snorkeling over scuba diving is the definition of beta.

[Giggles]

Well yeah, everything everyone else does is wrong.

[Offshore Toon]

I bet you don't even know how to swim.

[Giggles]

I bet you really can’t understand how you didn’t fuck off from here years ago.

[randomlegend]

I didn't realise a post saying I had a nice time on holiday could fuel so much animosity.

[Spikey M]

It's your superpower.

[Giggles]

In fairness he’s done fuck all only moan like a cunt for a good while now about how everyone is wrong.

[Giggles]

Also, I only remembered @Kiko it’s because Germans are fucking arseholes. People (you lot) complain about the French but the Germans are the rudest people alive.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'd definitely stick to snorkelling, beta or otherwise. One of my 100 rules for life is don't do anything that requires an oxygen tank.

[Boydy]

What are the other 99? Start a thread.

[Kikó]

Also, I only remembered @Kiko it’s because Germans are fucking arseholes. People (you lot) complain about the French but the Germans are the rudest people alive.

:D

I think the Bavarians are a special breed. Other Germans I've met are alright.

[randomlegend]

I've never been a big holiday person but this trip has awakened something in me. We're lready looking for somewhere to start saving up to go to in a couple of years time.

Wondering about Madagascar or a safari park in Africa.

[Manc]

Travelling down to St Ives for the week. Recommendations welcome.

[Yevrah]

I've never been a big holiday person but this trip has awakened something in me. We're lready looking for somewhere to start saving up to go to in a couple of years time.

Wondering about Madagascar or a safari park in Africa.

I went to Tasvo in Kenya, nearly twenty years ago now and it remains the best place I've ever been. Unbelievable experience and would thoroughly recommend.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've been in France for about 5 days now and my question is this: why do they like fancy cakes so much? Is this why Napoleon lost at Waterloo? If not, why? This country, on paper, should dominate Europe, but I feel they just spend too much time on patisserie.

Another thing I've noticed is the total absence of sport in their cultural life, apart from the odd nod to recreational vélo. Oh, and in England, have you ever seen a black person in a kebab shop? I haven't, yet here in France it's only the blacks who eat kebab. Curieux.

[Lewis]

I went to Paris expecting to find loads of different buns and fill my boots, but it turns out every bakery just makes the exact same six buns exactly the same.

I was told - and I haven't bothered to confirm this because it sounds true and also fits my prejudices - that, whereas in a normal country anybody can just set themselves up as a baker by baking and selling it, in France you have to go through fifty years of training and have bakery badges. That, combined with the fact that every Parisian apparently has some legal right to fresh buns at all times, means that the bakeries all have to work together and not against each other, and then nobody wants to be the one selling 'loaded brownies' and getting his windows put in.

[Raoul Duke]

Eventually Starbucks will eviscerate all the boulangerie/bakery dweebs because it's miles more convenient to get stuff from one place than have to visit 17 shops to do you shopping

[Jimmy Floyd]

Don't think the French will take that one lying down (I've seen plenty of sad-looking empty Starbucks in the bigger cities), their prevailing culture runs pretty much contrary to the grubby Anglo-Saxon idea of convenience. Take last night, I arrived in a pretty decent-sized city at 5.30pm, was hungry, headed out for something to eat at about 6.15pm... non. La service begins at 7pm, in all of the city's 100 odd restaurants, because we are in France, and 7pm is when it is time to eat. Until then, you're stuffed, monsieur.

[wullie]

First day in Paris I had a chocolate religieuse, I don't understand how they can eat things like that more than once a year without their hearts giving up on them.

[Shindig]

They barely move.

[Kikó]

The Portuguese, Italian and the Germans are also pretty cake mad. I'm surprised there aren't more fatties.

[Giggles]

Stop being so English jimmy. You’ve easily as many places selling sausages and beans in pastry to people with their arse crack showing.

I doubt either has much effect on the ability to win or lose historical wars before either were invented.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The long life expectancy (82.5) is also curieux. Eat sugary items all day every day, smoke like chimneys, never seem to eat a vegetable. My only guess is they must have tiny portion sizes compared to us.

[Pen]

They work less than you do, maybe that’s the secret.

Also if there’s a thing what the French do well, it’s cafes/boulangeries.

[niko_cee]

Better weather, less work, more space, better healthcare, it all stacks up I guess.

That or they lie about it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They work less than you do, maybe that’s the secret.

Yes. Less stress, by far. They all seem to live in a contented haze. We couldn't do that, probably because our weather is shit and our architectural vistas worse, so there's nothing to be contented about.

[Boydy]

Stand with the French against the immediacy of modern life, Jimmy.

[randomlegend]

Is Porto good?

[Kikó]

Yeah, fantastic.

[Giggles]

Germany looks like it’s cancelled :)

[Bernanke]

Is Porto good?

I've never as quickly visited a city and arrived at "damn, I need to revisit here soon" as I did there.

[randomlegend]

Yeah, fantastic.


I've never as quickly visited a city and arrived at "damn, I need to revisit here soon" as I did there.

Nice. Wife booked a long weekend there as my birthday present. I will look forward to it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've left France for a night and entered Monaco. What an absolutely ludicrous place. Beyond parody.

[Bam]

Thinking of booking 10 nights in the Dominican Republic, found a couple of top draw all inclusives with Tui for February.

Has anyone been, if so any recommendations on things to do or hotels to stay?

[Waffdon]

Go for 2 weeks.

[Giggles]

You spelled Benidorm wrong.

[Bam]

You spelled Benidorm wrong.

To many Irish chavs around that place. :nono:

[Bam]

Go for 2 weeks.

I find two weeks to long on holiday, 10 days are perfect.

[Kikó]

Too long to go on holiday 🤪

[Yevrah]

In words I thought I'd never say, I'm kinda with Bam on this one. 10 days does seem to be the sweet spot, maybe not counting the two days either end for travelling. Particularly if you've only got two weeks off work.

[wullie]

I'm the same on the 10 days if you're in the one place. A week is fine if the travel days aren't full days themselves, but by the end of two weeks I've had enough.

[Baz]

Sounds like you’re doing holidays wrong.

[Manc]

10 days in the Caribbean was perfect. Any longer and I wouldnt have come home.

[randomlegend]

I thought I'd be bored after even 10 days in the Maldives but by the end I'd have happily stayed about 6 months.

I'd have stayed in Iceland permanently if I could have.

[Manc]

Where did you visit in Iceland?

[Don]

The chilled desserts aisle.

Lolololol.

[randomlegend]

Stayed in Reykjavik and then did various tours from there. We did small group tours (minibus group rather than a coach) which were a bit more expensive but felt worth it.

I can link you the exact ones we did actually, they are all still in my emails:

1) https://adventures.is/iceland/day-tours/northern-lights/northern-lights-explorer/

Northern Lights superjeep tour, where they take you out of Reykjavik off-road in one of these beasts:

https://www.thuletravel.is/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/tt-front-612x519.png

away from the light pollution. We got incredibly lucky and got an absolutely stunning Northern Lights show.

2) https://adventures.is/iceland/day-tours/northern-lights/northern-lights-explorer/

A tour of the South Coast which included some waterfalls and the black beach.

3) https://nicetravel.is/tour/golden-circle-blue-lagoon-and-kerid-crater/

Golden circle, blue lagoon and a volcano.

4)https://adventures.is/iceland/day-tours/ice-caves/katla-ice-cave-tour-under-the-volcano/

Tour of some ice caves (this one was especially cool).

It is an absolutely amazing place. Just make sure you don't accidentally book a different ice caving thing the opposite side of Iceland (11 hour drive away) and not realise until a few days before you're meant to go, like I did.

It is very expensive though. Food prices are absolutely bonkers.

[Kikó]

This ludicrous notion that there's an upper limit on how long you can be on holiday for. I'm sickened by you.

[randomlegend]

There is definitely an upper limit defined by the emptying of my bank account...

I can't remember if I posted this here yet, but the people who worked at the resort in the Maldives told us that when covid was going on but travel was just about open enough that people could get there, a load of the super-rich just went and lived at these resorts for like 6 months+.

Whole other world these people live in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I noticed in Monaco last night that there is a whole class of super-rich people (mostly women, to be honest) who walk down the street totally oblivious to the fact that anyone but they and their trophy dog exists. As in, they literally won't physically share the street with you, they carry on gliding down the middle and you have to jump into the road or under a shop awning etc. To them, non-rich people are basically like insects, or plants or something, just decoration.

I imagine it's the same everywhere, but places like that have a high concentration of them so you notice it. Complete other universe.

[Baz]

Genuine question: why do people go and look at the Northern Lights?

[randomlegend]

Cus it looks cool.

[Yevrah]

I noticed in Monaco last night that there is a whole class of super-rich people (mostly women, to be honest) who walk down the street totally oblivious to the fact that anyone but they and their trophy dog exists. As in, they literally won't physically share the street with you, they carry on gliding down the middle and you have to jump into the road or under a shop awning etc. To them, non-rich people are basically like insects, or plants or something, just decoration.

I imagine it's the same everywhere, but places like that have a high concentration of them so you notice it. Complete other universe.

This isn't scientifically proven, but it is a fact that Women have so much better peripheral vision than Men, so they definitely saw you, they've just honed the skill of pretending they haven't over centuries.

[Ben]

The Mrs is dropping hints less subtle than an air raid about going on holiday ASAP. To be fair we haven't been since 2019 when we got engaged (2020 COVID, 2021 wedding, 2022 baby), so she's proper itching.

I've got a week off in October so we will do something then. Normally at this time of year I'll just book a flight to Cyprus where we have use of apartment and car and can rely on the weather. But it's a five hour flight and she won't want to take a three month old baby on a flight that long.

Any recommendations closer to home? Domestic or otherwise is fine. I'm completely lost now I have a child to consider.

[Clunge]

Went to Iceland a few years ago and can confirm it is absolutely worth the expense. It's just a completely remarkable place. Our trip was a total disaster for so so so many reasons yet I still look back on it as one of the best adventures I've ever been on.

[Kikó]

I noticed in Monaco last night that there is a whole class of super-rich people (mostly women, to be honest) who walk down the street totally oblivious to the fact that anyone but they and their trophy dog exists. As in, they literally won't physically share the street with you, they carry on gliding down the middle and you have to jump into the road or under a shop awning etc. To them, non-rich people are basically like insects, or plants or something, just decoration.

I imagine it's the same everywhere, but places like that have a high concentration of them so you notice it. Complete other universe.

Tbh that was my experience in London at all times, rich or poor. We'd be the ones trying to move to the side while groups of three and four walked in a line like cunts.

[Giggles]

My only experience of Icelandic people is Amigo, so I’ll keep it off my list forever.

[Mike]

Yeah, fantastic.
What about Porto Santo?

[Kikó]

Dunno, looks nice though.

[Waffdon]

The Mrs is dropping hints less subtle than an air raid about going on holiday ASAP. To be fair we haven't been since 2019 when we got engaged (2020 COVID, 2021 wedding, 2022 baby), so she's proper itching.

I've got a week off in October so we will do something then. Normally at this time of year I'll just book a flight to Cyprus where we have use of apartment and car and can rely on the weather. But it's a five hour flight and she won't want to take a three month old baby on a flight that long.

Any recommendations closer to home? Domestic or otherwise is fine. I'm completely lost now I have a child to consider.

Just go to Spain.

[Ben]

OK, what websites would one recommend to book through? It's been years since I did a package holiday and I got burned the last time I did it.

[Clunge]

Go to your local independent agent – they'll have access to every mainstream package provider, and you won't be stuck with a faceless online agency to deal with if there's an issue. Price difference is minimal if none-existent. Where do you live?

[Ben]

Near Newcastle.

[Boydy]

Is Spain gonna be all that warm in October? Unless you're going to the Canaries.

[Waffdon]

Portugal then. You’re gonna struggle for warmth if you’re not wanting more than 2/3 hours on the plane in October.

If you go to the Canaries you’ll whizz back on the way home. It only took us just over 3 hours back to Edinburgh in Summer.

Or go on a cruise. You’ll get 7 days away around the Med or canaries for less than a grand PP if you book it last minute.

[Ben]

Cruises don't allow infants under six months.

[Waffdon]

Jesus, flights are cheap as fuck from Newcastle. You lucky bastard. Every Monday, Wednesday and Sunday have return flights for less than £65 to Faro so there’s an option.

[Waffdon]

Or go to Malta and tell me how it is. Dunno if it’s where you’d go with a kid though.

[niko_cee]

Tbh that was my experience in London at all times, rich or poor. We'd be the ones trying to move to the side while groups of three and four walked in a line like cunts.

Surely you were angrily weaving through such dawdling dickheads, like a true London resident? Not that I can recall anywhere it would even be possible for such promenading to happen. Maybe around Sloane Square/Kings Road, but who the fuck goes there?

[Kikó]

Happened all the time on Upper Street. They just didn't give a shit.

[Raoul Duke]

Or go to Malta and tell me how it is. Dunno if it’s where you’d go with a kid though.

Malta is great (I went like 20 years ago, but it was cool)

[Lewis]

I am very conscious of walking into people, because, being a big lad, if you walk into me chances are I will knock you out of the way/over, and I will also get the blame for it. As a result, you notice that people will very rarely move, to the point where I wonder whether they expect me to or whether they notice me doing so. I should just cut through like Richard Ashcroft.

[Lewis]

Mind you, I can weave through the dawdling crowds like prime Benji Marshall. I was at seething point making my way back to the station on Saturday post-Queue.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is Spain gonna be all that warm in October? Unless you're going to the Canaries.

It was well in the 20s down south when I went last year.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Completed on Saturday my entire lap of France. The final itinerary was (I think): Lille, Dunkirk, Dieppe, Etretat, Le Havre, Bayeux, Omaha Beach, Mont-St-Michel, Saint-Malo, Roscoff, Brest, Quimper, Nantes, La Rochelle, Bordeaux, Biarritz, Pau, Toulouse, Carcassonne, Perpignan, Nimes, Cannes, Monaco, Montelimar, Annecy, Dijon, Strasbourg, Verdun, Reims and back to Lille.

Obviously, only spent a matter of half an hour or an hour in many of these places, though longer in others. It was more of a see a whole country in one go sort of a trip. My conclusions were as follows:

- France looks so much better than England. This might be obvious, but it really does. Even the worst place I visited (maybe the above list is biased towards nice places, but still) has visual appeal. There is nowhere in France as depressing as half the places in England.

- French drivers are nowhere near as bad as people warned me to expect. They are terrible tailgaters at times, but other than that they seemed well behaved. I have yet to find any national set of drivers to match the brutal aggression of the English white van man.

- Their roads are brilliant, and our motorways should privatise and charge tolls like theirs do.

- French food ingredients are great. French cuisine, as experienced on a day-to-day basis, is shit, and hasn't evolved since about 1955. The one exception I'll grant is the Alpine mountain food, you could feed me on tartiflette until the cows come home. This is probably because the mountain people are less geared towards poncing about.

- They really don't do convenience in the way that we understand it. Picnic table over there? We won't lay a path to it, you'll have to walk across rough stoney ground. Thankfully modern day toilets are now installed pretty much everywhere, rather than the classic hole in the ground that I remember from childhood trips, but it's been with gritted teeth.

- This applies to basically any non-English-speaking country, but spending time in France, you really get a sense of how much better they have been able to preserve their own national culture than we have in England. The reason for this is that we are linguistically and culturally exposed to America in a way that they just aren't, and our culture is flooded with American ideas, backed by American money, against which we have no defence. Whether or not this is a good thing is down to your personal taste, but it is unmistakeable.

- In Quimper town centre (surprisingly lovely place) there were some maillot jaunes protesting, whose leader said something like: "Each time the President opens his mouth, 13 workers lose their jobs". It was like a simultaneous left and right wing protest. Macron is like a one-man buffer against the populism that has engulfed other nations. In this I think he actually does a very good job, despite evidently being a tit married to a beard. The populists will win in the end.

- The Bayeux tapestry is the best historical attraction I've ever been to, I think, and the town it's in is beautiful as well.

- As mentioned before, Monaco is a daft and fascinating place. 7km wide (it was smaller than I even expected it to be - accidentally got lost on the way to the hotel and walked back into France), and absolutely packed full of ludicrous individuals, like a zoo for rich people. I found the cheapest possible restaurant for dinner, which was a little Italian, and even that had a photo of the owner with Bill Clinton, Muhammad Ali, etc etc. I walked a lap of the F1 circuit which was a great experience - you can do the whole lap (the tunnel is a bit dicey, but doable) and every few yards there is another memory. The other thought I had, and this is a niche one for puzzle gamers 20 years ago, but surely the makers of Grim Fandango must have visited Monaco before they came up with Rubacava. It has everything - the harbour, the casino, the silly racetrack, and (this is what clinched it) a street elevator that takes you from top to bottom, which I've never seen anywhere else except in that game.

- Biarritz is definitely worth a visit if you like seaside locations. It's like a much better Bournemouth.

- Brittany is a weird, massive edition of Cornwall. All the place names start with Ker- (I guess this must have been the progeny of Yann Kermorgant). Probably my least favourite region. Brest is the only place I encountered that could be considered a bit shit.

- In a bar in Dieppe, I heard a cover version of Elton John's 'Your Song' so bad that I don't think I'll ever be able to hear the song again without thinking of the cod French version, lapped up by the locals. I sat on ze roof, and kicked oeuf ze moeuss, well a few, of ze verses, well zey goeut me, quite croeuss.... He could have rescued this by going onto more fertile territory for his next number, but as the opening strain of Toto's 'Africa' began to drift across the bar, I decided it was time to drink up and leave.

[Pepe]

Tartiflette. :drool:

[niko_cee]

Agree on the French roads thing having recently experienced them for the first time. Bit chaotic around Paris but pretty serene going for the most part. It's just a size thing though isn't it, France is ludicrously bigger than England. Paris to Cherbourg is like 450kms or something. Some of the petrol stations that make you pay up front [fair enough] but also require you to guess how much petrol you need were a bit annoying, particularly if you weren't filling an empty tank, je ne sais pas monsieur, vingt-cinq litres? Quelle le fuck would I know?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, petrol stations are a bit of a lottery, anything can happen. Finding a pay-at-the-pump one was a proper Partridge 'back of the net!' situation.

[Ian]

Didn't have you as a Grim Fandango man, Jimmy.

Also I've never had tartiflette but having Googled it I need some of that in my life.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Didn't have you as a Grim Fandango man, Jimmy.

I don't know enough about / haven't played enough games to judge, but with the amazingly stylised setting, quality soundtrack, and lack of quick reactions required to play, it's probably my perfect game, if not the perfect game.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Regarding drivers, the worst nation I've experienced is Turkish. I feared for my life in a taxi and a golf cart (hotel was big you can ring to get a cart to take you places) whilst there.

Also, yes roads in France (and a lot of other mainland European countries) are great. Tolled motorways are so much better.

[Ian]

India's got the scariest roads I've encountered.


I don't know enough about / haven't played enough games to judge, but with the amazingly stylised setting, quality soundtrack, and lack of quick reactions required to play, it's probably my perfect game, if not the perfect game.

It's a great game.

[Ben]

India by a mile. Absolutely nuts.

[Danny]

Another vote for India.

[randomlegend]

There was a bit on Top Gear back in the day where they were talking about Indian driving.

I think it was that guy from the Kumars at Number 42.

"The attitude in India is if you crash and die, it was just your time to go".

Clarkson: "what about the guy you hit coming the other way?"

"..well then it was his time to go".

Always made me laugh.

[randomlegend]

Cool story bro.

[Lewis]

All that head wobbling can't be good for your driving.

[Kikó]

I don't know if it's an urban myth but I like it. For Indian cars, they fit them with more durable brakes and horns because they use them so much to drive.

One of the times I've been most certain of death was the taxi driver driving me to Bangalore airport, smashing it at 80 while weaving in and out of slower moving motorway traffic. Really no need either, we had plenty of time.

[randomlegend]

When we went to Sardinia we got picked up from the airport by the owner of the hotel and I swear on my nan he drove double the speed limit the entire way.

[Pepe]

More durable horns lol.

[Luca]

Yeah, there really is no contest. India is the most insane driving I’ve ever witnessed. There must be some structured order to the apparent chaos, or else there would be an accident at every junction every five minutes, but if there is it’s certainly not readily apparent.

[Ben]

The horn thing is laughable. 99% of the time there's not even any need, it's just natural instinct like tapping the brakes.

[Raoul Duke]

It's more they use it it lieu of indicators

[Pepe]

In Mexico, using the turn signal when you want to change lane is the best way to ensure that the person on the other lane will accelerate to close the gap you are trying to get into. The only way to get a lane change done is to catch them by surprise. When desperate, putting your hand out or, even better, half of your body and begging for help works even better.

[igor_balis]

In our first Glasgow pub of the week, M J Heraghty, it's good.

[Kikó]

I won't do a Jimmy level review of my holiday but first time to Evora in the Alentejo. Dirt cheap prices still and some good cultural stop offs such as the Roman temple, the chapel of bones and the main cathedral. Great time to go as well because barely anyone but people with small babies and the elderly yanks on tour buses. Still 28°as well.

Be a good trip with a car to visit the vineyards if you're interested.

[-james-]

In our first Glasgow pub of the week, M J Heraghty, it's good.

That is a pretty good street of pubs. Allison Arms and Koelschip Yard next door. :nodd: I like McNeils and Queen's Park Cafe just around the corner as well.

The best pub in Glasgow is The Laurieston about a 20 minute walk up the road.

You weren't asking for recommendations but there you go. How did you end up deep in Shawlands anyway?

[Giggles]

Tell John we said hello.

[Waffdon]

That is a pretty good street of pubs. Allison Arms and Koelschip Yard next door. :nodd: I like McNeils and Queen's Park Cafe just around the corner as well.

The best pub in Glasgow is The Laurieston about a 20 minute walk up the road.

You weren't asking for recommendations but there you go. How did you end up deep in Shawlands anyway?


Fuck off. :lol:

[-james-]

Fuck off. :lol:

The vibe of the Laurieston is unmatched. Clientele is a good mix of young/old/weirdos, they serve a good beer that doesn't cost a bollock and the bar staff are a laugh. When they one day start accepting card payments it will immediately go to shit.

[igor_balis]

That is a pretty good street of pubs. Allison Arms and Koelschip Yard next door. :nodd: I like McNeils and Queen's Park Cafe just around the corner as well.

The best pub in Glasgow is The Laurieston about a 20 minute walk up the road.

You weren't asking for recommendations but there you go. How did you end up deep in Shawlands anyway?

Cheers bro. Um me and my pal have a long lasting tradition of going on well homoerotic city breaks most years, Glasgow was next on the arbitrary list and this flat was cheap and looked nice on Airbnb. We went Belfast this time last year when we met Boydy and I had to babysit him after he got utterly battered.

Do you live in Glasgow lol

[Lewis]

We never got the picture we were promised from that wild night.

[-james-]

I do, but I'm not drinking at the moment so let's just call it a colossal bottle job and leave it at that.

[igor_balis]

We never got the picture we were promised from that wild night.

This took me fucking ages to find so be grateful even though it's shit

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/307914879_631045015127910_9084025758012460732_n.jp g?stp=dst-jpg_s206x206&_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=aee45a&_nc_ohc=Odx73hltVyUAX-OyWXS&_nc_ad=z-m&_nc_cid=0&_nc_ht=scontent.xx&oh=03_AVIaGUsAfJ1eVmihXhFiB2VC0lBNV7uzTTEbgRCTHEdT zw&oe=635BF1F0

[igor_balis]

This took me fucking ages to find so be grateful even though it's shit

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/307914879_631045015127910_9084025758012460732_n.jp g?stp=dst-jpg_s206x206&_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=aee45a&_nc_ohc=Odx73hltVyUAX-OyWXS&_nc_ad=z-m&_nc_cid=0&_nc_ht=scontent.xx&oh=03_AVIaGUsAfJ1eVmihXhFiB2VC0lBNV7uzTTEbgRCTHEdT zw&oe=635BF1F0

https://scontent.fman1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/242300658_564537464601282_5981043421133860468_n.jp g?_nc_cat=111&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=ae9488&_nc_ohc=LBkvuMeHKYQAX8J1fpf&_nc_oc=AQm_kJA9AGW7qmfQtK_sO99XoAoDHV3jbP5jjUEglba BnBFVDS6XHvOCxzq8QvWGsKI&_nc_ht=scontent.fman1-1.fna&oh=03_AVLFcqekgUettmWotNmD4q8-usc1cDax25wZd7zLmYaoDA&oe=635A1B29

sorry Boydy mate :charm:

[Lewis]

Like a pocket-sized Lofty.

[igor_balis]

Like a pocket-sized Lofty.

McLoftin

[Ben]

The vibe of the Laurieston is unmatched. Clientele is a good mix of young/old/weirdos, they serve a good beer that doesn't cost a bollock and the bar staff are a laugh. When they one day start accepting card payments it will immediately go to shit.

Just Googled that and it's a shit hole, so that is right up my street.

[Spikey M]

McLoftin

Shirley, O'Lofty.

[Boydy]

Ffs, igor_balis

[Spikey M]

You are the whitest person I have ever seen Boyd.

[igor_balis]

Ffs, igor_balis

Happy anniversary babe

[Manc]

You are the whitest person I have ever seen Boyd.

Whiter than Phonics?

[Spikey M]

Literally yes, performatively no.

[Lewis]

You are the whitest person I have ever seen Boyd.

Like Frodo when the big spider gets him.

[igor_balis]

Ffs, igor_balis

Tbf I did almost feel guilty posting that photo but I consider it payback for having to sit there with you for two hours or whatever the fuck it was

[Giggles]

Those are some fair IT turn-ups.

[Spikey M]

I missed that. :D

Boyd, lad, people don't have turn ups once they've finished growing.

[Boydy]

I never started. :(

[randomlegend]

Like Frodo when the big spider gets him.

:D

[Spikey M]

Currently at Bloc Hotel at Gatwick Airport before we fly tomorrow. The view is a bit good.

https://i.ibb.co/gWHc8gh/20221013-172846.jpg

https://i.ibb.co/51mKHQz/20221013-173242.jpg

https://i.ibb.co/sQh6bdX/20221013-173246.jpg

[-james-]

Absolutely outrageous that igor posted that photo of Boydy btw.

[Shindig]

I liked how you could still see the planes parked up from the BART platform at SFO.

[Lewis]

Absolutely outrageous that igor posted that photo of Boydy btw.

Half-outrageous seeing as you can almost see through him.

[Giggles]

That's the igor type.

[randomlegend]

Here's some non-descript scenery photos from the Maldives I'm sure you've all been on tenterhooks waiting for:

https://i.imgur.com/Vq6Lnv2.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/g7MFwLc.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/V14ZvHw.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/w4leZpR.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/C1Lg3yV.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/jLAQ0Q4.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/bBm1q58.jpg

[Ian]

I was hooping for bigger pictures.

[Giggles]

I’d say there’s some wildlife in them shacks.

[niko_cee]

Can we not get a picture of the Italian milf?

[randomlegend]

Unfortunately not.

[Kikó]

*tender hooks

[randomlegend]

get off your peddlestool

[Bam]

Thanks for the pictures, much appreciated.

[randomlegend]

No worries, there's plenty more. I'll pm you one a day for the next four months.

[Bam]

I can't wait. :)

[randomlegend]

Always avoided Ryanair in the past but was our only real option for this Porto trip.

We should've departed Stansted at 9:20pm and we didn't actually leave until gone half one in the morning.

Zero communication from them the entire time. They are legally obliged to provide food/drink after a couple of hours which obviously didn't happen. The Stansted customer service staff said Ryanair are literally impossible to contact, they never man their service desk and all just hide in their offices upstairs.

We'll be due compensation but I bet they'll be a nightmare about that as well.

Never again.

[randomlegend]

Yes, Hi bam.

[-james-]

I say that more or less every time I fly Ryanair but I always come crawling back.

[Giggles]

Best of luck getting compo worth anything from those shower of cunts.
Same happened me coming out of Sofia before, the time didn’t change until we were in the queue to board, and I’m still waiting on it.

Just back from Frankfurt myself. Germans are still tossers.

[Don]

Your time nor your need for crisps is that important.

The days of significant delays on air travel still a thing? I've had to get a fucking flight to Glasgow for an 11-a-side game due to rail strikes and any delay greater than an hour is gonna make me miss the game. Would be seething.

[Spikey M]

EasyJet delayed us by 2 and a half hours yesterday with zero communication too. Paid £38 for 3 cheese toasties, 2 cans of Fanta and 2 bottles of water too. :happycry:

[randomlegend]

EasyJet delayed us by 2 and a half hours yesterday with zero communication too. Paid £38 for 3 cheese toasties, 2 cans of Fanta and 2 bottles of water too. :happycry:

You'll have to check the exact rules (seems like the length of delay required depends on how long haul the flight was) but you can probably claim this back.

[igor_balis]

Absolutely outrageous that igor posted that photo of Boydy btw.

I had to babysit the cunt for about two hours after the taxi refused to let him in and Boydy refused to wake up from his nap, we're even now.

[Kikó]

Best of luck getting compo worth anything from those shower of cunts.
Same happened me coming out of Sofia before, the time didn’t change until we were in the queue to board, and I’m still waiting on it.

Just back from Frankfurt myself. Germans are still tossers.

Can't believe you didn't try and meet me.

[Giggles]

Really?

[Kikó]

:D ok i can believe it really.

[randomlegend]

https://www.maison-albar-hotels-le-monumental-palace.com/en/page/family-hotel-porto.3809.html

Went here tonight.

14 course tasting menu on Giggles' advice. It was great, thanks mate.

[Pepe]

Fourteen lol.

[Bam]

Well done Giggles matey. :beer:

[Giggles]

https://www.maison-albar-hotels-le-monumental-palace.com/en/page/family-hotel-porto.3809.html

Went here tonight.

14 course tasting menu on Giggles' advice. It was great, thanks mate.

Looks like the stuff of nightmares.

[Don]

14 courses of testosterone sapping melty shit. Get yourself one of those cancerous Francesinhas and stfu.

[randomlegend]

4-foot tall needle phobic who steals toddlers bikes talking about testosterone :lol:

[Clunge]

In Norway atm. I'd urge you all to go immediately.

[Bam]

Booked up to go Thailand for a couple of weeks in February today. Flying with Emirates, is it worth paying to upgrade the seats to Premium Economy?

[Foe]

In Norway atm. I'd urge you all to go immediately.

Is it not super dark and expensive?

Scenery would be good though, I’d imagine.

[John Arne]

Booked up to go Thailand for a couple of weeks in February today. Flying with Emirates, is it worth paying to upgrade the seats to Premium Economy?

A hundred times, yes. Even treat yourself to business if you can afford it. Long haul flights are hell in economy. #manofthepeople

[Ben]

The uplift is usually pretty hefty if it's an in-demand flight, though.

[John Arne]

The uplift is usually pretty hefty if it's an in-demand flight, though.

It is - but also the delights of totally flat bed, food on demand, and often overlooked is the quick check-in, line jumping in security (especially if transiting in the middle east) and if you have a layover in UAE or Qatar, their lounges are pretty awesome. I treat myself every now and then, but couldn't afford to do it often.

[Spikey M]

Post holiday blues have kicked in big time and I'm now scouring Tui like a tramp looking for fag butt's in the gutter. Anyone been anywhere that's good in April? Obviously most of Europe is off the table.

[Pen]

Is Madeira too far? Really enjoyed it as a family holiday.

[Giggles]

Embrace the cold.

[randomlegend]

Post holiday blues have kicked in big time and I'm now scouring Tui like a tramp looking for fag butt's in the gutter. Anyone been anywhere that's good in April? Obviously most of Europe is off the table.

You're a laying on the beach in the hot sun kind of guy right? San Sebastian was brilliant when we went in April but suspect it's not your thing.

[Manc]

In Norway atm. I'd urge you all to go immediately.

Pray tell.

[Mike]

Made it to Porto Santo. It’s windy but I’ve promised the 5 year old we’ll go swimming. The all inclusive beer will warm me up, right?

[Giggles]

Is all inclusive even a thing any more or is it gone full scam?

[niko_cee]

Was it someone on here who went all inclusive and found out that meant 4 beers a day at their chosen destination?

[Ben]

My mate is trying to get me to shell out £700 to go to Turkey "all-inclusive" for a week next year for a jolly old piss up. There's probably more chance of free veneers than beers. Fuck that.

[SvN]

A friend of mine went to Mexico with his wife last year and had an all inclusive hotel, which you had to pay a mandatory $100 per person per day. He knew this in advance, and factored it into the cost of the holiday.

When he got there, they upgraded him to a deluxe suite for free. Brilliant, he thought. It wasn't until later that day than they told him it meant that the all-inclusive cost was now $400 per day, as the suite was meant to be for 4 people ($100 x 4). He argued, they pointed to the Terms & Conditions he signed when checking in, and told him no other rooms were available anymore so he had no choice if he wanted to remain in the hotel. Such a blatant con, it completely ruined his holiday.

[randomlegend]

I don't really understand what's meant by "is it gone full scam"? Scam how? Like it's more expensive than just paying or?

Our Maldives resort was all-inclusive (that is the only option staying there) which included unlimited food and drink at the main restaurant/bars, one meal per 7 days at the fancy restaurant (you could pay a la carte to go their whenever you wanted but no idea why you would), an excursion, snorkelling gear for the week and paddle-boarding/pedalos/kayaks.

There was various stuff you could pay extra for like massages, private film viewings on the beach on a big projector, private dinners, and premium wines - all of which were obscenely expensive.

The diving trips and stuff were also extra; I have no barometer for what they should cost but didn't seem ridiculous from memory.

I had assumed the cocktails would be very light on alcohol to save cost but they were savage.

[Ben]

Maldives obviously haven't gone full scam then.


I had assumed the cocktails would be very light on alcohol to save cost but they were savage.

Alcohol is generally cheap, especially if it's not an import. If I go to the local bar when I'm in Cyprus and ask for a house rum and Coke, it'll be more rum than Coke because they import the little bottles of Coke and the house rum is peanuts. It's like being 15 again where you can get shit-faced off a tenner.

[Giggles]

I don't really understand what's meant by "is it gone full scam"? Scam how? Like it's more expensive than just paying or?

Our Maldives resort was all-inclusive (that is the only option staying there) which included unlimited food and drink at the main restaurant/bars, one meal per 7 days at the fancy restaurant (you could pay a la carte to go their whenever you wanted but no idea why you would), an excursion, snorkelling gear for the week and paddle-boarding/pedalos/kayaks.

There was various stuff you could pay extra for like massages, private film viewings on the beach on a big projector, private dinners, and premium wines - all of which were obscenely expensive.

The diving trips and stuff were also extra; I have no barometer for what they should cost but didn't seem ridiculous from memory.

I had assumed the cocktails would be very light on alcohol to save cost but they were savage.

It’s a scam because a lot of places are just doing X (normally low single digits) amount of drinks and limited food, so it’s really not all inclusive. Plus more restrictions on where you had your ‘all inclusive’ and what you could actually have. I was asking if there are any real all inclusive places left.