The ULTRAMEGA Summer 2017 Transfers and Rumours Thread [featuring THE MIGHTY BLADES]

[7om]

Harry has offered Terry a contract :D

Fucking hell, this is immense. Get Krancjar, Crouch, Assou-Ekotto and Kaboul in and just fucking go for it.

[Lewis]

You would almost be tempted to say fair play if he does that instead of phoning it in in America/China/Qatar. It would even be quite dignified if those rumours about him desperately needing the money weren't so persistent.

[SvN]

It's very old school. Reminds me of seeing the likes of Denis Irwin at Wolves and Paul Ince at MK Dons.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The creditors probably don't take Renminbi.

[Shindig]

What's Terry pissed his money on? Gambling? Slags?

[Spikey M]

Racist magazine subscriptions.

[Shindig]

I thought those were all in Frank's name?

[John]

Harry has offered Terry a contract :D

Fucking hell, this is immense. Get Krancjar, Crouch, Assou-Ekotto and Kaboul in and just fucking go for it.

You can have Kranjcar. I like him but he was still struggling to get fit when he got injured for six years, so even though he's apparently 'fit' now I wouldn't expect him to be up to speed until well into next year.

[Lewis]

That wonderkid 'keeper at Milan isn't signing a new contract, and it expires next year. What an ungrateful little wanker.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Buffon must have given the sign.

[Max Power]

Harry Maguire signs. Think he'll be great for us. Huth and Morgan are both starting to seriously creak and he looks an ideal replacement.

[Reg]

Everton have signed Pickford for £30m. It'll be interesting to see how he does. A good keeper did seem to be their missing link but I can't imagine them finishing higher than 7th next season.

[bruhnaldo]

I'd take a flight to Milan and drive the ungrateful little wanker to Carrington myself if I had to.

Selling Near Post Dave for 6 trillion quid :drool:

[7om]

Is he any good? I've never seen him play.

[Spikey M]

He's the next big thing. So, no.

[randomlegend]

He was playing for Milan in the first team at 16 wasn't he? Think he's the real deal.

[Lewis]

'Near Post Dave'. :rotate:

[John]

He's pulled off some bonkers saves but being a child means his judgement has been a bit questionable. At seventeen he was basically David De Gea at however old he was in his first season at Man Utd.

[bruhnaldo]

Lewis I'm not his biggest fan tbh.

[Reg]

He is pretty rubbish. Think of all the keepers that are better than him. I mean, there's Neuer, and um, you know, Seaman's making a comeback.

[Baz]

He is pretty rubbish. Think of all the keepers that are better than him. I mean, there's Neuer, and um, you know, Seaman's making a comeback.

Karius.

[randomlegend]

De Gea is absurdly good, he's one of the top few in the world.

It really would take an American to think he's shit

[Giggles]

I used to rate Lloris as the best in the division but he seems to be howler prone, so it was probably down to the back four.

[bruhnaldo]

*searches for post where I called him shit*

I called him Near Post Dave because he has a tendency to get caught out near post. It's happened several times.

The point was more if we could sell De Gea for an astronomical amount and bring in Donnarumma, the 18 year old heir apparent to the Italian keeping throne with 60 odd first team appearances for Milan, I'd be all for it.

No, it's not as if United are struggling for coin.
No, I'm not saying Donnarumma is better than Dave is now.

But I don't see any problem with doing a good piece of business.

[Giggles]

The new Massimo Taibi.

[Lewis]

If you Twitter search any 'keeper and 'near post' you will find a bunch of wallies calling them shit. They all narrow the angle there because it is harder - for anybody - to react to anything hit hard and accurately enough to go into the smaller gap. Dave Gayer is no worse than anyone at his near post.

[-james-]

Donnarumma wanted £80k/week apparently and they've told him to get to fuck. Their loss, you'd think.

[John]

Lol at the idea of a load of Chinamen balking at a footballer's wage demands.

[Shindig]

£17m for Maquire sounds absurd. Starting to wish we gave Vurnon and Sammy one year contracts and then immediately listed them for £12m each.

[Spoonsky]

I saw Donnarumma milling around at the halftime of the Italy game I went, and he's probably the largest-seeming human I've ever seen. He's like those crocodile keepers on Super Mario Strikers.

[Max Power]

£17m for Maquire sounds absurd. Starting to wish we gave Vurnon and Sammy one year contracts and then immediately listed them for £12m each.
£12m + £5m in add ons. About par for the course for young English players these days isn't it?

[Shindig]

Maybe I've just not heard the hype about him. Being away from the Premier League will do that.

[Weaver]

I'm disappointed we didn't make more of an effort to go for him - £17m seems a lot but if he does well for three seasons then moves on for £5m, he'll probably have been worth it.

McInnes turning down Sunderland is lol. Simon Grayson the new favourite.

[Spoonsky]

Our top (and damn near only) scorer was arrested for DUI last night :wub:

http://mediaweb.wftv.com/photo/2017/06/15/Cyle%20Larin_20170615124939272_8344362_ver1.0_640_ 360.jpg

We are so fucked!

Shiiiii. He's so good as well.

Anyways you've got Jason Kreis so you shouldn't worry too much.

[bruhnaldo]

That's your boy from the RSL days I'm guessing. Jury is still out on him. I don't dislike him as a manager but after our effort last night in the US Open Cup I need to see a lot from the team on Saturday.

[Dark Soldier]

*searches for post where I called him shit*

I called him Near Post Dave because he has a tendency to get caught out near post. It's happened several times.

The point was more if we could sell De Gea for an astronomical amount and bring in Donnarumma, the 18 year old heir apparent to the Italian keeping throne with 60 odd first team appearances for Milan, I'd be all for it.

No, it's not as if United are struggling for coin.
No, I'm not saying Donnarumma is better than Dave is now.

But I don't see any problem with doing a good piece of business.

Come to Manchester so I can shank you.

[bruhnaldo]

Well that's not nice.

[Giggles]

DS is a cunt DS is a cunt DS is a cunt DS is a cunt DS is a cunt DS is a cunt DS is a c...

And so on.

[Dark Soldier]

Thank you <3

[niko_cee]

Manchester City will try to fund half of their summer transfer spree with a planned £130m clearout, led by goalkeeper Joe Hart, 30, and striker Kelechi Iheanacho, 20, for whom the Blues aim to get £25m each.

Good luck with that.

[Raoul Duke]

Good luck with that.

...from West Ham.

So, yeah

[GS]

I wouldn't put it past us to offer them £50M for the pair, frankly.

[Shindig]

Everton are spending their way to 14th.

[Raoul Duke]

Sunderland have been turned down by some gimp from Aberdeen :D

[Reg]

Everton have also signed Klaassen, the Ajax midfielder. He didn't stand out in the Europa final IMO, but meant to be good. Looks like Everton mean business getting these deals done early.

[Amigo]

I listened to a radio program earlier where some Icelandic journalists were discussing why Gylfi Sigurðsson isn't being chased by bigger clubs than Leicester or Everton. They compared him (https://s3.postimg.org/u9pudzlhf/DCB0i9_IWs_AA0_Ncj.jpg/) with Ivan Perisic who's valued at £50 million and is purportedly being chased by Man Utd whereas Gylfi is 'only' valued at £30 million by Swansea. They came to the conclusion that although Gylfi's a better player in pretty much every aspect, he's been branded as a 'big fish, little pond' type of player because of his failed stint at Spurs.

It's obviously a pretty stupid comparison since they play different positions and for clubs in a vastly different situations but it did get me thinking. Gylfi not only counts as a homegrown player in England but is also entering the prime of his career and almost single-handedly kept Swansea in the Premier League. He's also carried a dogshit team to the European Championship quarter-finals and is at the cusp of carrying them to the World Cup. Is he not worth more than £30 million and should bigger clubs not be after him? Or am I (and the entire Icelandic nation) just deluded?

[John]

Klaassen is someone I always hear rated very highly, but who disappears from view any time I watch a game he's involved in.

[Reg]

You definitely have a point, Amigo. £30m is nothing to the top six clubs and you'd think he'd be a good squad player for any of them. Doesn't strike me as someone who wouldn't live to the pressure (was he even that bad at Spurs? And was he given a real chance?)

[Spikey M]

Spurs loved Sigurdsson, it's just that Eriksen is better and both want to be starting games.

[Offshore Toon]

Gylfi is a total don. Those free kicks on FM (2011?). :drool:

[Mazuuurk]

I listened to a radio program earlier where some Icelandic journalists were discussing why Gylfi Sigurðsson isn't being chased by bigger clubs than Leicester or Everton. They compared him (https://s3.postimg.org/u9pudzlhf/DCB0i9_IWs_AA0_Ncj.jpg/) with Ivan Perisic who's valued at £50 million and is purportedly being chased by Man Utd whereas Gylfi is 'only' valued at £30 million by Swansea. They came to the conclusion that although Gylfi's a better player in pretty much every aspect, he's been branded as a 'big fish, little pond' type of player because of his failed stint at Spurs.

It's obviously a pretty stupid comparison since they play different positions and for clubs in a vastly different situations but it did get me thinking. Gylfi not only counts as a homegrown player in England but is also entering the prime of his career and almost single-handedly kept Swansea in the Premier League. He's also carried a dogshit team to the European Championship quarter-finals and is at the cusp of carrying them to the World Cup. Is he not worth more than £30 million and should bigger clubs not be after him? Or am I (and the entire Icelandic nation) just deluded?

No that makes sense really.

But the comparison with Perisic is odd, and so is the valuation of him. 50M is roughly what Sanchez might cost, yeah? They are the same age but Perisic surely isn't as good as Sanchez (I realize the latter propably would get twice the wage but still).

To be honest, I am really sceptical to any player who has had one or two rocket seasons in the Serie A. Belotti is a complete wild-card IMO.
Then you look at someone like Gylfi who knows the English game, has proven he can do well there, etc.


That said, the type of player is in it's own right always a bit of a "big fish, little pond" sort - as in they never do very well unless they get to be the focal point of that teams Attack build-up. See Ozil when he came to Arsenal and was moved out to the flank and was shit (and arguably less so in the middle).

And if you think about it, all the big teams already have a player like that. Only Arsenal might go for him really.

[randomlegend]

Conte fed up with Chelsea board and might quit, Ronaldo fed up with tax inspector and wants to leave Spain.

Spicy.

[Shindig]

Someone photoshop Ronaldo in a Newcastle kit to get my hopes up.

[SvN]

http://nufcfans.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/berbatov.jpg

[wullie]

There's no way he looked like that and wasn't in a Bulgarian boyband in the late 90s.

[Weaver]

Someone photoshop Ronaldo in a Newcastle kit to get my hopes up.

Here's Temuri Ketsbaia instead:
https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/nintchdbpict000001351331.jpg?w=960&strip=all

[Shindig]

The next best thing.

[bruhnaldo]

I can't believe for the (however many)th summer in a row I'm going to be furiously refreshing twitter praying Cristiano comes home.

I believe this stupid shit every single time.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Conte fed up with Chelsea board and might quit, Ronaldo fed up with tax inspector and wants to leave Spain.

Spicy.

Would be quite lol if he did and walked straight into a Jeremy Corbyn wealth redistribution bonanza.

Conte will quit us within a year, our board won't buy him (or any other manager) all the players he wants.

[bruhnaldo]

I mean you guys are hardly struggling for cash? What's the big deal with the board?

[John]

Sky have got the BREAKING NEWS crawl out at the mere rumour of Ronaldo wanting out the door. If he actually gets a move we might see a producer combust in the background.

They had some World Cup spokesman named Alexey Sorokin on earlier who could probably attend a West Wing panel and people would just think Sorkin was back on the crack.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They aren't running it as an oligarch club anymore. You won't see Chelsea in for the really big fee players, a) we have FFP to think about and b) they just don't want to spend that kind of money anymore. If you go back to last summer, we panic bought David Luiz (worked out brilliantly) because we wouldn't pay what people were asking for Koulibaly and other defenders, whilst our ingenious full back solution involved Marcos Alonso and somehow turning Victor Moses into one.

There's a feeling on the board that having invested so much in the academy and with all the youth trophies being won, we should be getting players from there (successive managers have point blank refused to do this, and can you blame them when a month of bad form will see them instantly sacked).

There's also the fact that we just aren't as far ahead of the average English club as we used to be in terms of spending power. City have 10x the cash, United probably do too, and the others have seen their power rise with the TV deal.

This season we won the title thanks a) to glitch buying Kanté and b) to a supreme piece of coaching by Conte which other sides failed to come to terms with until about March/April. Unless he somehow repeats the trick, we won't come close next season - top four would be a good result (top six if Hazard leaves as well as Costa, and isn't replaced).

[bruhnaldo]

Gotcha, thanks for taking the time , Jimmy.

[Spikey M]

Chelsea will win it again next season. Let's not be silly.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mourinho and Smallpockets had already FOUND US OUT by the end of the season, and Costa is off, we'll need another reinvention to get anywhere close.

[Lewis]

They aren't running it as an oligarch club anymore. You won't see Chelsea in for the really big fee players, a) we have FFP to think about and b) they just don't want to spend that kind of money anymore. If you go back to last summer, we panic bought David Luiz (worked out brilliantly) because we wouldn't pay what people were asking for Koulibaly and other defenders, whilst our ingenious full back solution involved Marcos Alonso and somehow turning Victor Moses into one.

There's a feeling on the board that having invested so much in the academy and with all the youth trophies being won, we should be getting players from there (successive managers have point blank refused to do this, and can you blame them when a month of bad form will see them instantly sacked).

There's also the fact that we just aren't as far ahead of the average English club as we used to be in terms of spending power. City have 10x the cash, United probably do too, and the others have seen their power rise with the TV deal.

This season we won the title thanks a) to glitch buying Kanté and b) to a supreme piece of coaching by Conte which other sides failed to come to terms with until about March/April. Unless he somehow repeats the trick, we won't come close next season - top four would be a good result (top six if Hazard leaves as well as Costa, and isn't replaced).

Between us we predicted this.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Between us we predicted this.

Guardiola and Mourinho are bloody lucky this was their first season (and in Mourinho's case had the cup successes to make up for it). Those two clubs should be in positions 1 and 2 with real ease every year.

[Lewis]

If United sign all of their targets this summer (unless one of them is actually Eric Dier) then he will have questions to answer if they get less than second. Although if FUCKING RONALDO COMES BACK MATE JESUS MATE then he needs a, what... Sextuple?

[bruhnaldo]

If FUCKING RONALDO COMES BACK MATE JESUS MATE I will probably happily weep for a solid hour into my old United CR7 top I won't even lie.

I'm emo like that.

[Lewis]

It wouldn't even matter if he was crap. Give him an eight year deal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ohhhh Cristiano's magic, he wears a magic thong
And when he went to sunny Spain he said 'I won't be long'
He scored his goals for Portugal, he scored 'em for Madrid
He came back cos he owed the taxman ninety million quid

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sunny Spain. That hasn't been used since the 90s, has it.

[Spikey M]

We need something to the tune of 'We're all going on a Summer Holiday', while we're doing throwbacks.

[Weaver]

In all honesty, how much do you all reckon it would cost to buy Ronaldo, even at 31? He's under contract for at least another few years, he's the best in the world and Madrid will want loads of money to buy Hazard to replace him.

£150m transfer fee?

[phonics]

He has a minimum fee release clause of a billion euros :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

£157m.

[Spikey M]

He probably sells about 500 million in Shirt sales each month.

[randomlegend]

He has a minimum fee release clause of a billion euros :D

That's because they are a legal requirement in Spain. Lots of players have absurd ones; it's just a recognition that when the contract was signed neither party had any intention for there to be a sale.

I think Asensio's is about £350m.

[bruhnaldo]

Cristiano would probably ironically go for the same price RM paid to begin with don't you reckon?

He's 32. Mind you, if Zlatan can score 20+ goals at 35 I think Cristiano could easily given his relentless care for his body.

But still, you can't seriously expect (as Real) more than 80mil can you? I mean come on.

[John]

Joe Garner off to Ipswich. I'll miss his song more than I'll miss him.

[Shindig]

Cristiano should go to Sporting and ruin Jardel's records. And my heart.

[Lewis]

His actual footballing wages must be about a tenth of his overall earnings, so he wouldn't really stand to lose out going back to Portugal or signing for Birmingham.

[Giggles]

€180m. OK.

875836403858501632

[Lewis]

Bargain.

[Raoul Duke]

That's like three noodle partnerships and a training kit sponsorship. Piece of piss

[Lewis]

His United statistics look shit now, so they should lead with that and bait him into coming back.

[Pleb]

I thought the "Ronaldo wants to leave Madrid" was fake news?

Top banter this. Imagine the scenes if he goes to Manchester...

...

City

:henn0rz:

[Lewis]

Manchester United, Manchester City, Arsenal, Chelsea, Bayern Munich and Juventus would have the financial resources to put together a competitive offer within the realms of Financial Fair Play rules.

Juventus? It isn't 1998, mate. I would like to see Arsenal go in for him, just so Arsene Wenger could peak by failing to sign somebody fifteen years after first failing to do so.

[Gray Fox]

Arsenal.

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/016/729/large.jpg

[Reg]

Juventus? It isn't 1998, mate. I would like to see Arsenal go in for him, just so Arsene Wenger could peak by failing to sign somebody fifteen years after first failing to do so.
They did spend £75m on Higuain.

[Danny]

Which was wholly financed by selling pogba.

[Lewis]

Wasted. And yes, but they also sold Paulp Ogba. They would have to sell half of their squad to get Ronaldo and his wages under the rules.

[Reg]

Forgot that.

Just read they made a €4.1m profit last financial year, and that was higher than the previous one. Bit different to United and co.

[Shindig]

Well, we've had a word with the Brewery, the local council and Greggs. Cristiano will be unveiled to an expectant St. James' Park in the morning.

[Baz]

Hopefully they do a better job of the statue than that Ronaldo one. Although...

http://www.littlemonstersforum.co.uk/images/acorah.png

[Andy]

Has there been a fall out or were they actually expecting a lot better?

He was utter shite. The cup run was brilliant but other than that he was a disaster. In the league we where 6 points off relegation, 17 goals less than last season, 17 points less and we dropped two positions.

Ruined our best chance at a European cup run. We didn't score a home goal for the last 5.

Boring football. Boring manager. Good riddance.

[Reg]

You were 12 points off relegation.

[Gray Fox]

Southampton only scored 41 league goals last season. I also don't think they beat anyone who finished above them in the league. But being closer to relegation than Europe is probably what saw to him.

[Andy]

You were 12 points off relegation.

Sorry yeah think it was 6 points off 17th. He was terrible and He had no idea how to get us scoring. The last few home games are a perfect example of his ineptitude.

[Spikey M]

I didn't realise Southampton did that badly last season. I mean, I don't pay much attention to them but the last time I noticed them they were flirting with Europe I thought? What happened?

[Giggles]

Puel by the sounds of it. And Liverpool.

[Shindig]

Flirting with Europe and silverware.

[Gray Fox]

https://i.gyazo.com/10fec555cad9fb11d22e0d4b1102ffcf.png

[Reg]

Dani Alves to Man City for £5m, not completed yet but contract "agreed in principle". https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/jun/17/manchester-city-dani-alves-junventus

Great signing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-40330189

Madrid's players are dropping like flies to authorities.

[Gray Fox]

Salah is on a flight to England today. That's surely a sign the deal is either done, or very close.

About £35m. Not a bad start to business. Just a bit odd how it's taken over a week to push this through.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He could just be holidaying in Lyme Regis.

[Baz]

United linked with signing one of the (if not THE) best players in the world ever and a couple of miles down the East Lancs Liverpool are getting excited by Mo bloody Salah. :D

[Gray Fox]

I'll not be excited until I watch the obligitory youtube compilation of him.

[Pen]

Do our Rangers fans know what kind of fee was paid for Morelos and did HJK get a sell on percentage on top of the fee?

[Mazuuurk]

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't Salah just another Premier league reject-winger?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Mourinho the latest to be accused of defrauding the Spanish taxpayer. They could form a little club at United, all determined to stand against the immediacy of modern life.

[phonics]

That's just cruel.

[bruhnaldo]

That being said, rumors we are after Colombian international Juan Quintero (formerly of Porto, loaned out to Medellin in Colombia).

He was listed on the MLS website as an MLS player yesterday and was spotted in Miami with his agent. As seen by my last post we are desperately in need of attacking options.

Not that anyone gives a fuck about Orlando City but hey, you could! Join our UK based supporters group today! http://weareorlandocityuk.com/

Supposedly going to be announced tomorrow but nothing official.

I've done my bit as far as trying to make Orlando City more mainstream by tweeting ANNOUNCE QUINTERO at the club every time they tweet something.

[Magic]

So it looks like OUT OF THIS WORLD is the new cliché used by the cunt bible with any sort of ridiculous transfer rumour. Cunts.

[Magic]

United linked with signing one of the (if not THE) best players in the world ever and a couple of miles down the East Lancs Liverpool are getting excited by Mo bloody Salah. :D

Salah wouldn't be a monumental waste of money.

[John]

Do our Rangers fans know what kind of fee was paid for Morelos and did HJK get a sell on percentage on top of the fee?

About a million quid, and I don't know about a sell on clause but I'd imagine there will be some more money due down the road.

[GS]

£39m.

It's hard to know how much of this is inflation and how much of this is our continued determination to massively overspend on players who turn out to be either shit or okay-but-not-worth-anywhere-near-the-money.

[John]

It's a bit odd to spend that sort of money on a player who primarily plays in the same position as your current best player. It's not even AFCON coverage either, because he'll be off too. He's a cracking player, but that is a strange deal.

[Gray Fox]

My conclusion is he sees our front 3 drifting in and out, with Coutinho in an attacking CM role behind them. Also some actual squad depth would be nice for once.

Make sure no one leaves now and go get some defenders.

[Baz]

And train/hypnotise Karius to be good in net.

[Pen]

About a million quid, and I don't know about a sell on clause but I'd imagine there will be some more money due down the road.

Hmm.

Odd. I think HJK released a statement saying saying it was the highest fee ever and I'm sure they sold Pukki to Schalke for two million after he had scored three against them.

[Adamski]

Not sure when that was but would the exchange rate at the time maybe make this one slightly more?

I've heard anything between £1m and £1.5m for Morelos

[Magic]

Salah has been immense for Roma.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Maybe there's a £3 million add-on if he wins them the Baxter's Soup Inter-Clan Challenge Cup. Would be one of the shrewder financial decisions made by Rangers in recent years.

[Mazuuurk]

Looking at some highlight-reel of Salah and he actually seems a lot more like a striker than a winger in it.

Did Roma play him up front with Dzeko or something?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Whispers are that Lewandowski wants out of Germany.

If we sign him I will explode.

[Reg]

Looking at some highlight-reel of Salah and he actually seems a lot more like a striker than a winger in it.

Did Roma play him up front with Dzeko or something?
Right wing cutting in, when they play 433 or 4231.
One of two number tens, when they play 3421.

He's quite one dimensional in my opinion. Not that keen on through balls or playing one-twos down the wing and suchlike. Much more likely to get his head down and dribble with pace.

Also would be surprised if Klopp got him pressing as well as Firmino, Lallana and others.

[John]

Forget Morelos. The best and biggest deal of the summer for us is taking back control of our shirt sales from that fat arsehole Mike Ashley.

For those who didn't know, the parade of feckless morons who'd been running the club before King Dave rocked up had cut a deal with Ashley which gave him full control of the club store and Sports Direct the exclusive rights to sell our shirts. The deal meant we earned seven pence from every pound spent in the club store, and nothing from merchandise sold by Sports Direct. The new deal splits profits from the Megastore and online sales in our favour, and while it still gives exclusive rights to Sports Direct we'll be getting half of the profits from our shirt sales with them, which really ought to be zero anyway.

The previous deal was supposed to have another four years to run too, so on the surface here it looks like King has played a fucking blinder.

[Reg]

The deal meant we earned seven pence from every pound spent in the club store
The fuck? :D

Who's this Dave then? Is he more of a genuine football man ?

[John]

Not really. On paper he's the biggest crook ever to be involved with the club and spends all his time in South Africa, but he's made the correct move at every turn so far and seems to be on the level where we're concerned.

[Giggles]

Not a bad deal for such a new club.

[Adamski]

Giggles :cool:

[Mazuuurk]

Why exactly are Chelsea trying to offload Costa again? That seems a little nuts to me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There probably comes a point where he (and his agent) are more trouble than they're worth.

[Mazuuurk]

I suppose that would be the only reason.

[niko_cee]

I know lots of footballers are dickheads, but he seems to take it to whole new levels.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's a good finisher but goes missing for long periods in seasons when he can't be bothered, and threatened to derail our season this year when his agent tried to move him to China. I'd happily get rid.

The agents who regularly put their players in China you have to be very wary of. In most cases I'm sure the player has zero say and just goes where he is told.

[John Arne]

Oscar has just been banned for 8 games.... for having the termirity to kick the ball towards some oppositions player... TWICE. It's worth noting that the ball was still in play, and he only kicked it at their legs.

The response from the Chinese FA was straight out of a the communist sporting playbook;


"Oscar kicked the ball at two opponents, according to the statement, prompting "large-scale gatherings and conflicts" and having "a very bad impact" on the Chinese game.


Yeah, ignore the blokes who ran in and actually started the fight (or the bloke who ran on from the touchline to get involved) - blame the foreigner who kicked the ball during a game.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOPPDzuQ8ns

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a complete overreaction by the other team.

[Weaver]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/football/2017/06/22/TELEMMGLPICT000132723650-xlarge_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqLG6OevQygL89_Lxt8TXM5NDiX aIxT-znZi7YvhqB45o.jpeg

Liverpool have completed the 39m euro (£34m) signing of Roma's former Chelsea winger Mohamed Salah.

The Egyptian, 25, has signed a five-year deal and has been a prime target for manager Jurgen Klopp.

At current exchange rates, the fee is short of the club record £35m paid for Andy Carroll in 2011 but matches the sum they spent in 2016 to make Sadio Mane the most expensive African player.

Salah almost joined Liverpool from Basle in 2014 before moving to Chelsea.

Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp said Salah has "the perfect mix of experience and potential", adding: "This is a really exciting signing for us.

"I have followed him since he emerged at Basle and he has matured into a really good player.

"His pace is incredible, he gives us more attacking threat and we are already strong in this area. I like that we will make it even more competitive."

Salah will wear the number 11 shirt, with Roberto Firmino moving to number nine.

After only six Premier League starts following his £11m move, Salah had loan spells at Fiorentina and Roma before joining the latter in a permanent move for about £15m last summer.

He was a key figure as Roma finished second in Serie A last season, scoring 15 goals in 31 league appearances.

Done deal then - Salah and Mane could be pretty special, or pretty shit if they can't be bothered.

[niko_cee]

Salah's done for £34m (€39m) according to the beeb.

Bring on the next Afcon, especially when the next £50m goes on whoever 'Naby Keita' is.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Going by FIFA 17 alone, Naby Keita is one of the finest midfielders in the world.

[Gray Fox]

Keita is going nowhere. Their club is owned by Red Bull and just reached the Champions League. They have no need to sell whatsoever. Only if the player becomes unsettled is there an issue.

Salah is a good signing, but him being given Firminos number and Bobby himself moving to No.9 screams to me we wont be signing a striker and instead using Firmino. I'd suggest our next signing will be a defender. I wouldn't at all be shocked if we rocked up at Southamptons door after Van Dijk again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You don't sign an Egyptian for £34 million.

[niko_cee]

I'm sure we were linked with Amir Zaki once for a fee which would translate to about £500m nowadays.

[Ian]

I fucking love players like Amir Zaki who turn up, smash it for a few months and then do nothing ever again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn03GMUB0p8

:drool:

A young Anthony V in there, too.

[Lewis]

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f282/gari1980/FAIL.gif (http://s49.photobucket.com/user/gari1980/media/FAIL.gif.html)

Still the best football gif ever.

[niko_cee]

I wouldn't at all be shocked if we rocked up at Southamptons door after Van Dijk again.

All will be amicable again once they appoint Don Pellegrino.

[John]

Ashley has sold his entire stake in the club to a supporters' trust, bringing their holding up over ten percent. Lovely.

[Lewis]

I thought this new Southampton manager was actually Manuel Pellegrini, so consider me well and truly MIND GAMED.

[Shindig]

Ashley has sold his entire stake in the club to a supporters' trust, bringing their holding up over ten percent. Lovely.

You got my hopes up for a second, John. And I fell in the same trap as Lewis.

[phonics]

Matic to United for 40 million quid is basically done :cab:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Would rather have Fabinho.

[phonics]

I'd rather have Schneiderlin.

[niko_cee]

Chelsea really have it going on in the transfer market these days, but I suppose that is simply a product of bunging the right agents money over the years (so it's probably a zero sum game at best).

[phonics]

It's the beauty of buying Jorge Mendes players, yeah you get ripped off at every corner getting the player, but then he rips someone else off when you get rid. Tres egalitarian.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That's a good deal for us. Has his moments but was a lazy shite all last season and we need someone more dynamic.

[Ian]

Macho Man Randy Matic to form the Midfield Mega Powers with Fellainimania. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

It also looks as though we'll be taking the Kanté memes literally and only fielding him in midfield next season. I think we're down to him, Fabregas and Chalobah at the moment.

[John Arne]

Sturridge to Man Utd, you heard it here first #WhoIsITKiko

[Raoul Duke]

Such an underwhelming signing. Matic just isn't that good, but I look forward to being proven wrong.

[Lewis]

When he's on it he's an absolute beast, so hopefully having (I would imagine) a very specific role at the base of the midfield gets the best out of him.

[bruhnaldo]

If it's Fabinho AND Matic then that's perfectly acceptable.

If it's Matic OVER Fabinho then boy we are fucking up massive.

[Lewis]

The only times I've watched Fabinho this season his team have defended like absolute dickheads, so I'm not especially put out by this.

[niko_cee]

It also looks as though we'll be taking the Kanté memes literally and only fielding him in midfield next season. I think we're down to him, Fabregas and Chalobah at the moment.

Aren't you buying a player from Monaco (as is the fashion it would seem) to replace him?

[bruhnaldo]

I'm not gonna act like I'm an Fabinho expert but it's not like we don't need the depth.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Aren't you buying a player from Monaco (as is the fashion it would seem) to replace him?

You say the fashion, I'm sure this is why Mendes placed all those players there in the first place.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Aren't you buying a player from Monaco (as is the fashion it would seem) to replace him?

Bakayoko who looks pretty damn good.

[Reg]

Such an underwhelming signing. Matic just isn't that good, but I look forward to being proven wrong.
Yeah.

He seemed very good during Mourinho's second season back there.

I'm guessing he's been identified as someone who can do the boring bit during Pogba's wild excursions to attacking midfield, left wing and Antarctica.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Give me Ibrahima Bakayoko or else I'm not interested.

[phonics]

Lemar has rejected Spurs and will be joining Arsenal. Can't say I watched him play but any chance for a mini lol at Spurs is worth it.

He played at Caen with Kante apparently.

[Jimmy Floyd]

At this rate Prince Albert might get a few games for Monaco next season.

[niko_cee]

As you suggested, there are wider things at play there.

Either that or Monaco somehow cobbled together the greatest team of all time last season. Le(ic)st(er) we forget who else won a league and had a surprisingly good run in the Champions League recently, without having the world shit the bed and try to buy all of their players.

Are United going to buy half a team per summer until they come good?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Nainggolan appears to be on which would be lovely.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Beware midfielders who seem dynamic in Italy.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We've never had that problem, it will be fine.

[Lewis]

That ugly freak cunt will undo a decade of global marketing goodwill.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We can make him have a relationship with the trendy lesbian and become a full on progressive club.

[phonics]

We can make him have a relationship with the trendy lesbian and become a full on progressive club.

Pro tip: if you look like the prototypical version of a paedophile eFit. Don't denigrate someone based on their looks.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://camo.derpicdn.net/01798ad44da81b8d99752b14127052a9d8d177c6?url=http% 3A%2F%2Frs266.pbsrc.com%2Falbums%2Fii269%2Ftheogri t%2F1sm292EWJimRope.gif~c200

[phonics]

Thought so. Two jokes nicked from other posters out of two. That's me shown. Got an opinion you haven't got peer review for?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You mean something similar to your original masterpiece?

[Lewis]

I think he's quit the board, Mahow. What a donning.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt.

[Spikey M]

I'm not gonna act like I'm an Fabinho expert but it's not like we don't need the depth.

Don't you have about 75 midfielders?

[Lewis]

Not in the middle. Unless you count Wayne Rooney. :drool:

[randomlegend]

We'll sign Fabinho not Matic.

[Disco]

Migraine? :D

[SvN]

That attack on Mahow from phonics seemed to come out of nowhere. Have I missed something?

[Disco]

I'm not sure it was nowhere, he was making a point at the same time.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That attack on Mahow from phonics seemed to come out of nowhere. Have I missed something?

He's on a constant simmer of seethe in regards to me.

[randomlegend]

Migraine? :D

Someone changed it after seeing I've used it as a name for gaming accounts.

[Giggles]

Who is Fabinho?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bakayoko is only for £35m as well.

Why aren't we in for him instead of Matic?

[bruhnaldo]

Don't you have about 75 midfielders?

Like Lewis' mentioned not so many in center mid but he's also a good shout at RB apparently.

[niko_cee]

Who is Fabinho?

I second this query, although I assume he plays for Monaco.

[Lewis]

Bakayoko is only for £35m as well.

Why aren't we in for him instead of Matic?

Isn't he the running about one (Fabinho being the holding and passing one)? Ander Herrera mate.

[Reg]

Nainggolan appears to be on which would be lovely.
Woof. How's that work then? Matic sitting, Nainggolan and Pogba ahead? Poor Herrera.

And Nainggolan would be dynamic anywhere, Jimmy Floyd. Which is why the combination of Kante and Nainggolan would make opposition midfields look like a bunch a stick figures. Although Bakayoko and Alex Sandro would be pretty great for you too, I reckon.

[randomlegend]

Bakayoko is only for £35m as well.

Why aren't we in for him instead of Matic?

Because he's not a holding midfielder, which is what we need.

[bruhnaldo]

Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt Phonics is a cunt.

oh hey look it's a thing i did in meme form

[Reg]

Giggles niko_cee Holding midfielder for Monaco. Was a right-back until (I think) last season. Looked good in the Champions League, along with the rest of the team.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

4 quotes in a row all from different people, has to be a board record.

Anyway, I don't get these Alex Sandro to Chelsea rumours. Alonso was brilliant whenever I watched Chelsea last season unless one of them is going to shift to the right side in place of Moses.

[Lewis]

I would go with Paulp Ogba and Fellainimania in a two, and then the rest can just warm the bench to prove a point.

[Giggles]

I second this query, although I assume he plays for Monaco.

That was my first thought too. We were right and all o/

[niko_cee]

\o

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not having BT has really put me miles behind in the transfer gossip stakes. I don't know who half of these people are.

'Alex Sandro' I think I've seen on Brazilian youth teams before, but that aside he could be almost anyone.

[niko_cee]

Same, although I also attribute it to not having payed FM for a now critical length of time (7/8 years). Knowledge gone.

[bruhnaldo]

I like this website because not knowing decently well-known players doesn't get you flamed to the high heavens.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Apparently Fabinho is still on as he wants to play as a right back. I don't buy it though as Don Valencia is there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/sport/football/transfer-news/man-utd-transfer-news-morata-13243336

Morata deal near enough DONE.

His wife has followed the club on Instagram and the couple are in Formentera which is where Ander Herrera was on holiday. NAILED ON.

[bruhnaldo]

Fabinho is begging to come. If Woodward doesn't get it done he should watch this space for new employment.

[John Arne]

Woodward is busy on holiday in NZ.... give the guy a break - it's not like this is a busy time for transfers.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's the chief exec of Manchester United, this will be by far the least busy time of the year.

[John Arne]

Disagree.

[bruhnaldo]

You'd never see David Gill taking holiday during peak transfer negotiation season. :dc:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Disagree.

Player transfers are probably further down the CEO's list than where his secretary keeps the blue tack. Instant noodle deals etc are far more important these days.

[Lewis]

I don't suppose he actually turns up at stadiums and hotels to hammer out transfer fees anyway, so he should be alright as long as he has a phone.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Right now he should be in Florentino Perez's office at the Bernabeu negotiating for Ronaldo.

'Eighty million?'
'No.'
'Ninety million?'
'No.'
'Is there wi-fi here?'
'No.'

[John Arne]

I think you're both underestimating just how protracted some (all) transfer negotiations are (and commercial deals on top of that, of course). A former colleague of mine was the CFO at Man Utd and pretty much said that every day of post/pre season was a clusterfuck of calls/emails/faxes from agents and other clubs. I'm sure it's a little different for the CEO, but as I understand it, Woodward takes control of transfer negotiations himself (that may have changed recently, I don't know).

[Disco]

It's not 1983, he doesn't have to drive to Alan Mullerys house to make sure he's going to sign. Anything you can do from your office you can do with a phone and at most a laptop from basically anywhere in the world.

[John Arne]

Cool. I'll let him know.

[Disco]

Nah he's on holiday, unreachable.

[John Arne]

I'll send a pigeon.

[randomlegend]

There are definitely transfer negotiations which go on face to face.

Raiola lobbing a chair at the wall during the Mkhitaryan meeting last year for example.

[Kikó]

The further Woodward is the better to be honest. Send in Mr Noodle.

[Ian]

Is Morata actually any good?

[ScousePig]

https://camo.derpicdn.net/01798ad44da81b8d99752b14127052a9d8d177c6?url=http% 3A%2F%2Frs266.pbsrc.com%2Falbums%2Fii269%2Ftheogri t%2F1sm292EWJimRope.gif~c200

What's this then?

Dennis Aogo something or other to Brighton.

[randomlegend]

Is Morata actually any good?


Everything I read about him is that it's a bit hard to know how good he really is.

His goals/minutes last season was amazing, but it was mostly coming on and sticking them in past goatherders once games were already won. Then again he scored a few important goals in big games for Juve the season before (but his goals/game was pretty crap).

Seems like he needs a good spell as first choice striker somewhere. I'm not sure how I feel about paying £75m to be the ones to test that out.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Spaniards over here tend to be either brilliant or terrible. I suspect Morata might be the former.

[Shindig]

I'm always amazed Llorente came here. I mean, he's got 15 goals last season but I've seen none of them.

[Raoul Duke]

Morata seems alright but nothing special. Bit Giuseppe Rossi.

I miss the days when we'd pick up random Scandis from Reindeer FC for 47p and turn them into world beaters. Now it's just spunking millions on half-baked wonderkids.

[Ian]

Is it too late to sign Martin Knutsen?

[Lewis]

From what I've seen, Alvaro Morata should bring plenty of goals, skills, and assists.

[Ian]

What backing music did they use on the Youtube video that displayed that?

[Lewis]

I don't know what you mean. I speak as an avid follower of the Primera División.

[Weaver]

Arsenal have had bids rejected for Lacazette (Lyon) and Lemar (Monaco), according to Sky.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

At least they can con their fans into thinking that 'they tried' after offering half of what the selling clubs wanted.

[Lewis]

Arsenal could sign Ronaldo next week and it wouldn't negate the impending SEETHE about 'Alexis' going.

[Raoul Duke]

What's Yaya Sanogoals up to now?

[Lewis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZZPt4R1YSs

'Get out while you can, Joel!'

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/40051031

Defoe has signed for Bournemouth.

[phonics]

Signing a 3 year deal with a 36 year old for 100k a week is fucking madness.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not when the one thing he can guarantee is goals.

[Disco]

34.

[Haystacks Horace]

Signing a 3 year deal with a 36 year old for 100k a week is fucking madness.

I think you need to stop and just have a bit of a think about the tripe your peddling here. Get off your computer/phone/tablet and just go sit in a quiet room and think about it.

Defoe will bag even a shite team 15 goals a season pretty reliably because he's a poacher and proven at many clubs in the premier league. Staying in the premier league is everything to Bournemouth, the money that rolls in dwarfs that 100k a week spend. Should they be relegated they could well lack the infrastructure and stature to bounce back up straight away so 100k a week for the high probability of those goals overrules any age concerns. Understand now?

[Gray Fox]

He's got you there.

[Giggles]

E-victory.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

http://theslideexperts.com/sites/default/files/images/water%20slide%20exterior%20restorations.jpg

[Pleb]

Come to think of it that's a pretty good deal if he wants to get regular starts for the World Cup next year.

Not that stops Harry Kane from taking all the GLORY!