Five minutes in and we still haven't conceded a goal, great stuff. Makes you wonder though if teams are even trying against us. Maybe they realise that'd be futile against Sir Gareth.
IT. IS. COMING. HOME.
Spain
Germany
France
Portugal
Italy
Actually I think [insert team who won't win] could win it!
I'm a bore and want league football back
I'm even more of a bore and want to discuss TRANSFERS
A glory-supporting turtle wearing the winners' kit
Five minutes in and we still haven't conceded a goal, great stuff. Makes you wonder though if teams are even trying against us. Maybe they realise that'd be futile against Sir Gareth.
Bellingham wanting about 5 minutes in the box, lol.
Oh great, the ref is a cunt, too.
That was a disgustingly good pass by Mainoo. Not sure what he's doing that far forward, but it made me feel funny watching it so I'll let that go.
Really settling into this.
Matterface just called them Slovenia for extra lols.
Can already see the corruption with the refs here. We look silken, a tapestry of football.
Drippier getting relieved of the blame because of the forrin pitch.
Brice.
Mainoo England's best player by far. Southgate clearly not had time to drill his tactics into him.
Walker wants Slovakia to win.
Dropping the act for a minute, I'm shocked to see that our defence is actually crap against a team that's prepared to have a go.
This ref doing his best to ensure whoever goes through will have about 10 players missing.
This has Switzerland-Italy vibes early on, although to be fair we’ve actually had the ball in their box.
England showing plenty of RESPECT here.
Spreading ourselves open like an Onlyfans model, inviting them in. Penetrate us, we scream. Then we hit them on the counter, smash and bang. Swipe their credit card details. Genius.
Garbage rule has ruined many tournaments.Originally Posted by John Arne
Southgate will give it the big Stevie Clarke RE the referee after the match.
Three of our better players on bookings already and the ref is clearly a maniac.
As if I wasn't already convinced we're losing here, the insane, over officious card happy ref is the final tick of the England tournament exit bingo card.
I thought Slovakia would go all out defense, but it is good to see them giving it a bit of a go.
I can't recall one bad tackle.
Why would they do that lol.
Bellingham steadily turning into a right pissy little wankstain over the course of this tournament. Thought the ref might send him off for a second when he went to touch him.
Bellingham's was reckless.
The Bellingham one was 100% a yellow.
Mainoo's foul wasn't particularly nice and probably could have been let off with a warning.
It's going to be Beckham 98 all over again.
As if the sweet release will come that quickly. There are two more games of inexplicable dross to come after this before the inevitable.
Foden should have been booked for that dive.
Because small country shit their pants syndrome.
Lol
Quality goal.
Schranz loves this Euros.
Rofl.
Oh this should be good.
lol
Our midfield has been non existent without the ball the whole match. Maybe the whole tournament.
Okay Yev, you can come back now.
Now we strike, gentlemen.
Staying on his feet like a boss. Others would have dived at the slightest contact.
Three years since Schranz scored an international goal prior to the tournament, this is now his third of the Euros.
Right, act over. Who'd have thought that playing the worst three games of football you could ever have the misfortune to see, with one of the most disjoined fucked up team selections in living memory, would lead to this?
Tournament. Football.
The ITV panel thought it would be a piece of piss.
We'll win this 3-1.
Yev wilting like a fat cunt in the heat. No staying power.
England will still win.
Hopefully the Swiss put them away in the QFs but they’ve probably peaked now. Always good for a last 16 or QF appearance and dip
I was still having fun with the act at that point, but they were an absolute disgrace, buying into the idea that despite playing like absolute AIDS for 270+ minutes we would suddenly turn it on today. Much like the weather, if you want to know how tomorrow will be, your best bet is to look at today.
Our only hope now is that the players mutiny, go rogue and win it themselves.
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