June football: The 'Not The Euros Thread' Thread

[Ian]

Right, so this thread is for any non- or pre-Euros stuff, whatever. Fascinating discussions about the xG of Enzo Maresca's Leicester team, the Real Madrid crowning ceremony this evening, whatever jokes Big Sir Brexit Jim gets up to next (I'm sure he's got Thoughts on the IT departments irregular email signatures.)

Then come the actual good bit of the football calendar I'll do a thread for the groups in... I dunno, a week or ten days or so? Whenever my heart tells me is the right time to do it.

Also Baz has asked me to plug this: Euro 2024 Competition - free to play

[Baz]

Cheers Ian.

Speaking of non-Euros, I used ChatGPT to simulate the entire tournament based on a few factors, but mainly bookies odds.

Final stages below, spoilered in case you want to enjoy the football:

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Quarterfinals
Spain vs. Germany: Germany wins
Portugal vs. Netherlands: Portugal wins
England vs. Italy: England wins
Belgium vs. France: France wins

Semifinals
Germany vs. Portugal: Germany wins
England vs. France: France wins

France beat Germany in the final.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cheers Ian.

Speaking of non-Euros, I used ChatGPT to simulate the entire tournament based on a few factors, but mainly bookies odds.

Final stages below, spoilered in case you want to enjoy the football:

Toggle Spoiler

Quarterfinals
Spain vs. Germany: Germany wins
Portugal vs. Netherlands: Portugal wins
England vs. Italy: England wins
Belgium vs. France: France wins

Semifinals
Germany vs. Portugal: Germany wins
England vs. France: France wins

France beat Germany in the final.

Lack of Poland there, clearly ChatGPT is wank.

[SincereTheRebel]

Sancho to win 1-0

[Magic]

Red Bull buying a slice of Leeds.

[Lewis]

I think Madrid will coast this about 3-0. Hopefully Dortmund score first to make it interesting.

[niko_cee]

Dortmund to outplay them for a bit, miss a bunch of chances and then get sunk by some ridiculous event.

There are plenty to choose from but I still think the Bayern goalkeeper diving over the ball and letting them win despite Bayern being the better side for 180 minutes of the semi was a high water mark for that. Was that the year Karius chucked them a few in in the final as well?

[Shindig]

The concussion final? Aye. Might've been the same year Bale got his bicycle kick.

[Waffdon]

Madrid never usually romp the finals but definitely always win them. Even the 4–1 against Atletico was a collapse in ET after a last minute equaliser.

That Dortmund side looks absolutely shite. Liverpool and Man Utd duds in their midfield (and wing, really) and a journeyman lump up top. Hope they do something though

[SincereTheRebel]

Wasnt there was poll game where we could use some points to make predictions on games and scores on threads? Was that this forum or another one?

[Gray Fox]

I looked at Madrids team and thought they really need a striker and they'll be grand for years, then I remembered.

Good luck beating Don Carlo now.

[Mike]

2-1 Madrid for me.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I want Dortmund to win but I'm feeling 3-2 Madrid.

[Gray Fox]

3-1 to Madrid but would be nice to see Dortmund win one.

[Waffdon]

I looked at Madrids team and thought they really need a striker and they'll be grand for years, then I remembered.

Good luck beating Don Carlo now.

Not even got their best side out. Militao, Alaba and Tchouameni would improve them I reckon

[Shindig]

The state of this stewarding.

[randomlegend]

The state of this stewarding.

He couldn't believe his luck, just wandering about unimpeded.

[Waffdon]

Courtois hasn’t been called up by Belgium? they all take 3 with them so why on earth would you not take him even if you were unsure of his fitness

[Adramelch]

Ryerson looks like he's an extra in Fight Club.

[niko_cee]

This ref has terrible decision in favour of Real Madrid written all over him.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Adeyemi you plum.

He's so one footed.

[Waffdon]

Runs in a straight line there and he scores. That composure

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I thought that was going in.

[Waffdon]

Madrid’s defensive line is all over the gaff

[Adramelch]

He looked offside anyway.

[Gray Fox]

Nacho and Carvajal are shit scared of Adeyemi in behind so their line is all wonky.

[Waffdon]

You’d hope so considering how he got in behind with that pace of his

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Adeyemi is absolutely lightning.

[Gray Fox]

They should just let him go. He'll trip over the ball or run it out of play more often than he'll get past Courtois

[Waffdon]

Adeyemi’s first touch is dog shit

[Luke Emia]

Definitely seen this game before. One mistake from Dortmund and it will be game over.

[Giggles]

Is there no VAR or what?

[niko_cee]

Nearly managed to chuck one in there.

[randomlegend]

"Vinicius" is absolutely unbearable.

[Waffdon]

Courtois went down in slow motion for that save. Looked like he could have smothered it fairly easily

[niko_cee]

Yeah, I've never really got him as a player and that was a shocking dive. Ref unsurprisingly rolled out a booking for whoever it was that pointed that out to him.

[Magic]

"Vinicius" is absolutely unbearable.

This is clearly building up to a 2-0 Madrid win against all moral judgement.

[Lewis]

The referee seems to think we've tuned in to see him.

[Waffdon]

Referee already trying to make it about himself.

Get the polish bodybuilder back

[Lewis]

'Doing a Nigel Owens' if you will.

[Gray Fox]

A bit of needle brewing here. A shame to see half time.

[SincereTheRebel]

Vini Jr nose is shaped like the front of an F1 car.

[Shindig]

This is made for a scuffy Joselu tap-in

[Lewis]

I still lol at 'Copacabana Dan James'.

[Spikey M]

Decent half. Shame the ref is a retard and Real Madrid are a deeply unlikeable set of bastards. I look forward to them scoring an undeserved last minute winner.

[niko_cee]

Didn't see the build up so this is my first view of Micah Richards' get up. Oh my.

[Luke Emia]

Probably jinx him here but how could Maatsen not get a game for Chelsea at the start of the season?

[Waffdon]

Pochettino played him right wing and refused to play Hall whatsoever.

And Chilwell left wing with Colwill at left back. Good manager though

[Adramelch]

Game feels similar to the Europa League final, just Adeyemi isn't Lookman.

[Waffdon]

Bellingham has been chasing shadows all game