Why does he think you're a tealeaf?Originally Posted by phonics
Why does he think you're a tealeaf?
I was thinking that, and whether they would prefer you to be completely not arsed or wringing your hands over it.
From what I've heard it's a running theme of pubs that he runs that money suddenly goes missing during peoples shifts that he wants to get rid of.
Why does he want to get rid of you?
I think they can't be that overt so it's more like 'how far would you go beyond what is expected to provide excellent customer service, within the parameters of the question.' I would guess they prefer answers that suggest you will just do whatever they tell you to do even if it exposes you to liability in the real world.
I had to do like 5 different tests for a job at Proctor And Gamble. I passed them all but the ethics test. Whoops.
What was the question?
'Having worked a 50 hour week behind the bar do you feel you've earned a few pints on the house?'
Was stuff about long distance phone calls and stuff. They don't give you the HR manual before so I said 'I would ask my boss if it was acceptable'.
I met an Army man a while back who was going on about some test they give you where they fire a load of information and then questions at you and WHATEVER HAPPENS YOU HAVE TO KEEP CALM. I suggested you just say 'dunno lol' to every answer, if that is all that matters, and he made out like I didn't understand what he meant.
"Keep Calm and Carry On" went from WW2 to the walls of every house in Essex. But we've moved on. It's 'Live, Laugh, Love" now, mate. How are Zoe Essex and Debbie Billericay ahead of our armed forces? Embarrassing.
Last edited by Spikey M; 23-03-2023 at 07:54 AM.
Teams exchange earlier:
Boss: "Hi Igor. Please can you advise on annual leave plans, do you have any dates that you are planning to take. It's advisable to book well in advance so that we are aware. thanks"
Me: "Hey. How far in advance would you prefer as a rough guide? I'm happy to follow whatever process makes life easier for everyone. I do not currently have any extended holidays planned, but I will add a couple of long weekends to the HR site shortly, unless you'd like me to check with you here first."
Boss: "Submit annual leave request using HR site, and I will accept/decline. If you have concerns because of the diary then please check in with me. Leaving booking to last minute is not ideal so planning ahead is important for our processes".
okay, fair enough. booked my long weekends, then followed up with
"To confirm - I have sent leave requests for 3 long weekends. I will have a think over the weekend regarding longer holidays, and endeavour (lol) to book in some proper extended breaks next week, leaving plenty of notice time. I hope this is okay."
Boss: "I have the emails, and action in due course, no need to teams me about this. We can pick this up in 1-1. Please consider when you write to me. Is this of value to me, is there an action here, or a question, or can it wait"
What lol, I was just aware she was a bit arsey about me not taking leave, I tried to be polite and make sure I was following what she wanted, and it's like NAH fuck off, don't message me!!
Earlier this week she asked me to forward an email chain I had with a venue we are looking at booking. Today I forwarded an almost identical chain from a different venue to pre-empt her, and she replied
"No need to send to me - upload on working word document
Please consider the information I need to see now, and what can wait, what is important and what is of value to my work."
what the fuck. I might just tank my probation period and initiate igor_balis on the third half dot co dot uk 2015 and just constantly spam her teams with weird youtube videos
I have had a day of pure politics.
After they decided to restructure they held company wide team meetings at the start of this week and rolled out "the vision". The good news was that our team is essential and safe. The bad(ish) news is we are absorbing another team and will have to learn their roles too. Ok, cool.
*we open the door to leave*
"oh, and by the way, you have to decide if you are willing to sign a new contract agreeing this by Friday, or we go to "consultation". AND, this is all hush hush. Do not discuss with the other team"
So we crack on, I think we're all happy to sign and enjoy a more "agile" role.
Then this morning, it emerges that the team we are absorbing is being made redundant. We get their work, not their staff. I suspected some redundancies were coming, but mate... what?
The team in question deals with lease holds, joint owners, commercial let's, retirement schemes and a whole host of shite I have ZERO experience in. None of us do. Plus, you know, these people are friends and colleagues. Not cool.
So we spent the day in various secret meetings, deciding how we can fight the redundancies and this culminated in me ending up sat facing 2 directors trying to explain that "full training will be provided" is an unworkable solution. Lease law in particular is complex as fuck, never mind the rest of it, and muggins here will have to lead on the court hearings. I don't need training. I need another degree. And, if every single one of that team is leaving we will have nobody to turn to on a day to day basis. So what do we do? Ask our solicitor at £75 an email? M8.
To make matters worse, our HR lead is on Annual Leave this week and our Union Rep (not that I'm a member) is on the redundancy heap. All very cloak and dagger.
Politics is exhausting.
Jimmy, does your gaff still need someone to flog sparkplugs to druglords? Give them my number.
Last edited by Spikey M; 24-03-2023 at 06:50 PM.
Who (apart from school staff nonces) is in a union these days? The old fogies who still pay for it, do so so that we don’t have to, right?
I'm a twit
Everyone should be in one.
Anyone who is in the union at your spot should be on to their full time officer immediately, Spikey.
Why? Seems like a total waste of money. Should something ever happen where union involvement is necessary, it’ll likely benefit those who don’t pay for it just as much as those who do.
I'm a twit
If the official union doesn't exist / isn't any use then that's when it comes in handy to be on decent terms with all your colleagues to form an unofficial one, as it seems like Spikey and co have done.
Unless you're being hauled in for sticking TTH stickers in the ladies toilets and posting heart eye emojis on the new girl's instagram posts. You'd be better off with representation then. Even if you are getting finished a good rep with a good union is the difference between you walking out the door with the bare minimum or getting a financial settlement.
Even companies that don't recognise unions I have seen start wobbling when union involvement is mentioned. They were trying to get rid of a lad at my wife's spot a few years ago and u turned from printing off his P45 to looking a bit shellshocked when it turned out his dad was an experienced union rep and had helped him put together a defence. Look at Jimmy's octogenerian MD, he'd probably crumble into dust if someone corrected him on his instructions citing the current UK employment law at him.
Some unions even offer additional benefits. The RMT have discounted London accomodation available for members to book and also have a few members only branches with alcohol licences that serve cheap booze.
My ex got paid out a shit load after a nervous breakdown teaching maths at an academy school, her union got involved and a large financial settlement reached. Membership fees scale with salary, I'm with TSSA and it's £18 a month. Not being in the union on the railway is a minority position, but I would always be in a union from now on in any industry because I know if some clown decides they want a Lofty free workplace I have my insurance policy paid up.
Yesterday a few of us went to the local Italian for lunch, as we occasionally do on a Friday. There was me, the Arab, a couple of others, and the Arab's brother (head of IT), who also invited two people who have been newly recruited to his fledgling department as software developers. One of them is about 40-45 and clearly quite experienced. The other one is clearly very young, either straight out of university/college, or pretty near to it. Can't be more than 23/24. He's very white, has an earring. I'd never met him. He came up to me to introduce himself. Can't remember his name now, because I was just knocked over by how he talks exclusively like a black teenager. I said 'Nice to meet you', he said 'Beast'. He asked what I did, I said sales to Europe and South America, he said 'Bare sick'. He asked me where I lived, I told him, he replied that nearby Kingston was his 'yard'. As well as the stupid lingo, all his vowel sounds were just wrong, as if he was trying really hard to sound like Stormzy or santan dave or one of those people, despite being whiter than white.
Throughout this conversation I was just thinking: why is this happening? Even the Arab, who normally has the cultural awareness of a ham sandwich, pulled me aside and asked why the guy was talking like that.
Is this guy just an idiot, or is the workplace genuinely about to be invaded by the next generation who talk like that and it's down to us old folk to get with the programme?
My next door neighbour, has a 14 year old (white) son and nuuuh, trus me king, he is on it. You don't even know he's bout dat life. No cap. There are about 7 non-white people in the village(s) and none of them talk like that.
Last edited by Spikey M; 01-04-2023 at 07:35 AM.
More fuel for Yev's sitcom.
I don't think it's a particularly new phenomena. I Imagine this is how the people born in the 20's and early 30's felt about the Hippies in the 1960's. Groovy man. Then how the Hippies felt about the Punks and so on. I just think Social Media - as always - makes this stuff more accessible and, well, usually worse.
Last edited by Spikey M; 01-04-2023 at 07:40 AM.
Why must you have brown skin to talk like that? That’s just how young people down south seem to talk. It’s calm.
I'm a twit
It's calm If you live and go to school in South London. It's entirely put on when you have lived in the Essex countryside for your entire life and only started talking that way 18 months ago. Which he did.
Selhurst Park is about 20,000 of these folk.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multic...London_English
Good luck to them speaking whatever they want in their own time, but in the Standard English environment of the workplace it's a bit of an issue I would say.
While that particular road man (?) dialect grates on me personally, it’s always fascinating to me how this tiny island has so many accents and dialects.
The only bit of this I generally notice is the mass proliferation of 'oh my days'.
That’s how I imagine offshore talks.
Sounds peng to me.
Text came in this afternoon asking me to come into the office next week to train the new starters. That didn't take long.
Better than sounding like a paralytic leprechaun.
Original.
Wigaaaaaaaaaaa!
I grew up in an area of London where a lot of people spoke like that, so I always made a conscious effort not to speak like that.
You get told you think you're better than everyone when you do that, though. I'd just tell them that's not how my teachers and parents taught me to speak. So the way I saw it, the ones trying to rebel were getting out-rebelled. And if you've got enough contacts who've got your back because you played football with them, you're ok. Whenever someone tried to attack me, I'd just mention a certain person's name. 'Do you know them?' and suddenly there was a lot of backtracking, so that was good for me to call people's bluff.
There's a mighty white guy who's in his early 40s that still lives in the area. I've only ever known him to listen to rap or ragga music. Speaks like a Jamaican. I'm not friends with him but a mate of mine shows me what he writes on Facebook. The way he writes, you'd never think he was white. Posts photos of himself drinking rum, and photos of lighters and weed, and goes on about his bedrins and people who best not be snaking wid him cos he gon' take dem to war. At the time when you're young, you put it down to a phase people will grow out of eventually once they go for job interviews and find full-time employment in the real world. You just never imagine they'll keep that routine going into their 40s.
Last edited by AJ23; 01-04-2023 at 05:45 PM.
That certain person's name? Harold Bishop.
Didn't he live in Hertfordshire?
Hatfield I think. I'm sure I drove under some shopping centre claiming to be in Hatfield on a motorway once and it made me think of Harold. M1? M11?
A1(M).
The shopping centre was The Galleria.
https://www.ama-assn.org/practice-ma...paign=Advocacy
What happens when you assume doctors are just alogrithm following machines and try to replace them with people without the same level of training and knowledge.
This is happening over here because of all the gimps like Lee who think our job could be done by a monkey just because theirs could. The public should be worried.
Last edited by randomlegend; 03-04-2023 at 03:14 PM.
The public does not need to worry. The computers will replace both registered nurses and doctors soon enough.
The use of nurses for everything is a massive issue over here too.
After my daughter was born, we took her to a highly recommended pediatrician's office. We went three or four times and we were not seen by a pediatrician once, only nurses. Mainly one nurse in particular, who was complete dogshit. Of course this being the US, consults are expensive as fuck, and it's not like you get a lower price if you're seen by a nurse instead of a doctor.
When my wife called the office so that they would send the documents to our new pediatrician, they asked why we were changing. After my wife explained, they told her that the nurse in question had been fired, and whether that would make us change our mind. She asked whether we would be seen by a doctor each time. They said no. We left. The new doctor is a bit shit too, but at least she has the right degree.
Some old fella on my apprenticeship has his own special printouts cos he reckons he can only read Comic Sans size 10.
Gonna make sure I don’t get sat next to him ever again.
I'm a twit
Oh get lost.Dear colleagues,
I hope you have had a good long weekend and if you have been celebrating one of the religious festivals that you have enjoyed them.
I'm a twit
Passover vs. Easter vs. Ramadan vs. Thatcher's Death. They all count.
A lad at my work spent just short of £9,000 on Just Eat last year. ~£180 per week. Staggering. I honestly thought it was bullshit until he showed me the proof.
That's basically having it every day, right? I hope you get the food equivalent of air miles.
There are people here who get Five Guys on Deliveroo for lunch, they'll surely all need government bailouts at some point.
I don't know how people manage it. The closest I've experienced is when on holiday at an all inclusive. By day 5 I'd sacrifice body parts for a healthy meal.
There are so many people that give everything they've got to maximise their salary but then piss it all away because they're miserable. Jersey is terrible for it. I honestly think people are better off earning 30k in a job they like over 60k in a job they hate. The amount of people in finance over here spending £200 a gram to mask their self-hatred is ridiculous.
There's an epidemic and I for one am a big big fan of it. The 'sacrifice your avo on toast for a house' masses were mocked but this generation is spending mad mad prices on food and convenience without a second's thought. The croissant index I put together this week is a nice summary, we have:
Artisan Bakery- £5.00
Pret - £2.30
Waitrose - £1.20
Sainsbury's - 85p
Lidl - 35p
I'm yet to try the Lidl but the Sainsbury's one is superb and there's no way the others are justifiable in comparison yet these fuckers are out here pouring their laughable salaries into these exploitative margins.
Fuck me you can get a ball for that up here.
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