*IandonOriginally Posted by Spikey M
*Iandon
Yeah my mum insisted on me being Samuel on the paperwork cus delusions of middle classness, but I've ALWAYS been Sam, except for the first email or two with HR in new jobs before I tell them it's Sam not Samuel. Sam is a crap name as well though, I think I'd rather actually be Igor.
#justiceforcaoimhe
My Dad was supposed to be Charles after the newly born prince. However upon delivery and the post-partum delirium my Grandmother responddd to t he question ‘what will you call him?’ And she said ‘Dave’. And therefore he became Dave.
My aunt is actually called Lesley but goes by Carole because she went to primary school and there were 7 lesleys in her class.
Going by random other names seemed to be a thing back in the day. My grandad was called Ernest but went by John. My other grandad was called Evelyn and went by Paul. Only two short of a full fake Beatles.
I was originally named "Pavlos".
Bracelet from the hospital has that name on it and it was only 30 days after my birth when I had to be officially registered that my name was changed.
I don't blame him.
Our old neighbour was saved from being called Archibald by his uncle Robert dying because he was named after him.
Missed Hamish by a whisker.
Also scamp.
I dunno, Evelyn Waugh is a great author and definite bloke. And also the reason my mate didn't get into Oxford as he referred to him using female pronouns oops.I don't blame him.
Excuse me?
It kind of suits him tbf.
My mum wanted to call me Matthew.
That will be my sole contribution to this topic.
I was supposed to be Peter after my uncle but was named after my grandfather instead. Lucky enough too seeing as Peter turned out to be a complete tramp. Even the old man, who’s placid enough, can’t wait to see the cunt pop.
Any name that can be immediately traced back to a popular culture touchstone is a bit iffy. I'm talking about your Ayrton's born in May 1994 or kids named after Game of Thrones characters.
I wish I knew somebody thick enough to have called their kid Daenerys or Khaleesi or something so I could hear about the first time they google it and go "Erm what were you playing at you fuckwits?"
There is no story, interesting or otherwise, behind me being called Ian. I think they just wanted a short name because we have a long surname.
I still get regular seethes out of Ian at work when I claim it's short for Brian. It might be the best value joke ever.
Presumably the same thought process that went into Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink.
Ian Alebore of Probablystinks.
I may have said on here before that a kid in sixth form decided it'd be hilarious and irritating to me if he shortened "Ian" to just the first syllable, so "Ee", I guess you'd spell it.
I didn't find it irritating, it didn't catch on, nobody found it funny and he soon realised it's more annoying to say so I think that lasted about two days.
And I'll have you know I have a shower once a month whether I need it or not.
I was asked to write a service specification (or maybe a service level agreement? Still not sure if they're the same thing) so thought I did really well typing out a page and a paragraph outlining the need, the solution and the amount of money involved. Figured I'd send it to someone to ask what the formatting should be like and his response was basically 'good start, here's one I did recently for an example of formatting' and it was 22 fucking pages. Full of needless dross that I guess I've gotta try and emulate for this service I'm responsible for.
I'm a twit
2 interviews this week
Dad wanted to call me Maxim. Wouldn't have minded being a Max.
I was roped into doing a three day first aid course at work on the promise that it's only first aid we'll be out of there by half-two. Give over. I thought it would be about running burns under taps and how to make a sling, but we're half-way to doctor status the depth this thing is going into. Practice defibrillators, chemical burns, and all sorts. I can't be expected to be doing any of that.
I did that early in the year. Got a nice certificate and have already forgotten everything useful with regards to helping any cunt in trouble.
I did it too and helped save a security guards life when he had a heart attack, so it's worth knowing.
That said, I let my certificate expire ASAP so I never found myself having to deal with that again.
Hero
Indeed. I am a top, top lad.
Gammon.
Racism ban please Phonics?
"Does anyone know first aid here?"
"I can't, my certificate has expired so I'm not sufficiently up to date on latest techniques. Good luck"
The boss just called me from northern France. He has gone to see a customer, turned up at their premises and the manager wasn't there, despite having arranged the meeting. He feared this was due to a recent bout of colon cancer. Unable to communicate with the finance woman who was there, he called me up on Teams (8.30am) to simultaneously translate, a skill that is far more difficult than non-linguists imagine, and frankly well beyond my French.
The boss: "I understand that Mathieu has a problem with his colon."
Me: "Erm... Bonjour. Je comprends que Mathieu est malade... erm..."
The boss: "Ask her if it's serious!"
Me: "I'm not a doctor."
The boss: "I need to know if he'll be here by lunchtime."
Me: "Erm... est-ce qu'il va retourner avant de..."
The boss: "I think he has cancer, yes."
Me: "Erm... mon gérant pensait que votre gérant... erm... que votre gérant est malade du cancer? C'est vrai, ou...?"
French woman: "Non."
It turned out to be Crohn's disease, not cancer. Anyway, a fine start to the day.
The police still have absolutely no idea who the dead person is and they subletting tenant has (understandably) gone to ground. I get the feeling that this is not going to be fun.There's been an eviction this morning that I couldn't attend due to an appointment later on this morning. They've gone in and there's a dead person sat in a chair.
The attending Housing Officer has apparently just been sick in the front garden. Word up to my boy Jesus for allowing me to dodge that one.
GDPR non-existant at Jimmy's gaff then.
We're culturally in about 1977.
There's a GP with the exact same name as me who works in the region and who is also a tutor for the med school.
I used to get emailed all sorts of shit meant for him, including exam results for other students. GDPR would have had a field day with it.
On similar lines, my brother works for a company which provides IT for some of the local schools. When they set up their email system, they asked them if they wanted some sort of safety built-in to try to make sure emails aren't accidentally sent to the wrong people. They said no, it would be unnecessarily cumbersome.
Within a few weeks, a staff member emailed a list of all the students with mental health problems to every child in the school and then tried to blame my brother for not setting up the email system in a way to prevent that from happening.
I've been placed on gardening leave until the end of the year as I'm been made redundant on 31st December and there's very little work. This is all okay though as I start a new job in the new year on a £7,000 per year higher salary and get a nice redundancy payment.
Getting to watch the World Cup in it's entirety on full pay.
Ooof, juicy. Why the redundancy and what field?
I was a manager of a small team in a contact centre, dealing with access requests for a bank. Work has dried up a little bit due to work now been done by robotics and apps. Now, I'm moving into the accountancy sector. Better pay, better prospects. Disadvantage is less working from home but I can definitely live with that.
Muhammad is such a bullshit name to include on those "name popularity" charts given that Islamic naming convention for men is to throw "Muhammad" in front of their actual name.
It's important to me that you know that I hate you.I've been placed on gardening leave until the end of the year as I'm been made redundant on 31st December and there's very little work. This is all okay though as I start a new job in the new year on a £7,000 per year higher salary and get a nice redundancy payment.
Getting to watch the World Cup in it's entirety on full pay.
Just had a bit of a gut-punch leaving work.
There's a kid I've got to know quite well over the past few years who comes in semi-often because of their underlying diagnosis. Doctors don't have favourite patients but they are my favourite patient.
I'm not on admissions today, but walk through the admissions unit to leave. Saw this patient's parent so I assumed they'd been admitted. I get on with the parent well so I just checked in with how they are doing and what had happened.
They basically had a total breakdown on me because the kid is having a really unexpectedly bad course with their illness and nobody really knows why or what to do.
Parent clearly completely at their wits end with watching their kid deteriorate and nobody being able to help them.
Don't really know why I'm posting this, I guess writing it out is cathartic somehow. But it was just really heartbreaking. It's these moments that sometimes make me question if I've really got the necessary emotional detachment to do this job for most of the rest of my life.
Last edited by randomlegend; 16-11-2022 at 06:16 PM.
Hang in there, champ.
The call centre's phone system failed this morning so we were put on cover to hand out the "Sorry, I can't help you." messages. I helped one of them though because 'call back tomorrow' doesn't do much when they've got a text about an appointment first thing tomorrow morning.
Got a polite bollocking for it but whatever.
Imagine RL moaning about dying kids while Shindig is going through all this.
He did get a polite bollocking.
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