I met you when I was about 19 or 20, at a pub in Soho. I didn't know what you looked like but you said you were wearing green shoes. I went to the pub and outside there was a bloke on his own who looked about the right age, wearing green shoes, so I went up to him and said hi, are you Elth. He looked at me in sheer terror for a second and basically ran away.

About three minutes later, you rocked up, also wearing green shoes.