We've just had our pavement laid, and now want a gardener in to sort the grass out. So I called a geezer;

"Do you have Children at the property"

2 kids, yeah.

"... I can come and have a look, but I won't be able to while they're there"

Fuck. Ing. Hell.

I appreciate you sticking to what are very clearly bail / probation conditions, but mate...