August football thread: Football is back (already)

With the football never stopping (look at the ball), we enter the restart of the real football rather than the friendly bollocks and whatever Olympics football classes as.

The 10th of August brings the serial kick off time waster cheats play the recent Snapdragon cup winners in a winner takes all clash at Wembley (assuming martial law isn't imposed due to Tommy and the EDL).

One week later we have the start of the BPLSBB which sees all the teams play each other in different combinations.

Let's go. (Miss you Ian)

I don't acknowledge this unofficial football thread.

Pathetic.

Close the thread.

https://i.imgflip.com/4/ere3z.jpg

I want to know about this City kickoff stuff. In detail. The season can't start until I do.

Doing it enough times to be fined £2 million?

I don't even get why you'd do it? "Lads, if we start the second half later, we'll know the Arsenal result 90 seconds before we wrap up." It's betting syndicates, isn't it?

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

I want to know about this City kickoff stuff. In detail. The season can't start until I do.

Doing it enough times to be fined £2 million?

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It is fascinating isn't it? There must be some angle.

The actual document is intriguing.

Never knew judges titled themselves HH. Probably should have done. Then you have the absolute opposites in handwriting from someone who writes their name as if it is a signature compared to Michael Kaltz BSC, FCA, CTA, LLM, who appears to have all caps child's writing, without even getting into who puts all those fucking letters after their name.

The only pattern I can see there is that they're quite tilted towards August and April/May, i.e. the warmer months, is there some extra recovery stuff that a heavily pressing-based team would want to do when it's a little bit warmer?

Could just be Pep waffling on like the oddball he is.

Given Pep's weirdness and the Man City hierarchy it could just be a power trip... 'We leave when we are ready, we are in control'. Also, lol at $2m fine... what's that, a month's salary for KDB?

Man City have been fined for this kickoff thing in past seasons too. Just not as much as this time.

Carsley on an interim basis for England? Heard this one before. G Potts has obviously played his cards wrong here, or is holding out for some cash from Chelsea or something equally ridiculous.

Binman until Jürgen is back on the market?

I heard binman until Pep is on the market.

Then they'll back out of Pep because Carsley did so well beating Moldova B and Lithuania in early qualifying (read: they want a Yes Man but without the immediate backlash of fans).

Thanks Niko for bringing this thread back.

Carsley is supposed to be very highly rated for what it's worth and night be a perfect England bin man.

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Originally Posted by Kikó

Thanks Niko for bringing this thread back.

Carsley is supposed to be very highly rated for what it's worth and night be a perfect England bin man.

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Isn’t he Irish? Can’t even get our own bin men nowadays.

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Originally Posted by Luke Emia

Isn’t he Irish? Can’t even get our own bin men nowadays.

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He's English, he just played for us because he was shit. But he seems to be not a shit manager so he doesn't need to bother now.

Na, you can keep him the shit blue cunt.

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Originally Posted by Luke Emia

Na, you can keep him the shit blue cunt.

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He turned down the FAI 3 times (among about 20 other people) before they had to go shopping at Iceland.

Question is can 'Carsball' survive first contact with the Foden/Bellingham conundrum and/or having to play Kyle fucking [probably literally] Walker every game?

Jones, Elliot and Gordon straight into the XI.

As an U21 manager, he'll know Gordon's good enough to replace Foden out wide. Although he also played Gordon up front. :D

Mikel Arteta hired a bunch of pickpocketers to rob his players to 'teach them to always be ready'. The mans a genuine psychopath. I love it.

Pepe has finally called it a day.

Pity to retire so young but he never looked the same after flopping at Arsenal.

Jason Molumby banned from WBA's next 5 friendlies for smacking some Mallorca div.

https://youtu.be/4AUjapgux7g?si=YonD-TvaWXcsgAWC

Whoever decided not to put the championship and league one games tomorrow at 3pm is an absolute dickhead

I’m guessing it’s so Sky can televise them all due to the 3pm blackout rule.

This has really crept up on me. The year has flown by.

Girona well and truly gubbed 4-Nowt by Newcastle tonight. All in the first half and Isak missed a penalty. Notorious goal machines Sean Longstaff, and Jacob Murphy getting on the act. Gordon scored to push his asking price up by another £10m.

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Woof. It's back.

It's back and it's all downhill from there.

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Whoever decided not to put the championship and league one games tomorrow at 3pm is an absolute dickhead

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I was reading about the blackout being lifted, but there being no games, but now I see the Charity Shield is this afternoon at 3, presumably on telly. Is that new?

Gateshead beat Carlisle in pre-season. We might as well start buttering up the council now.

Yoro out til the new year :drool:

Jonny Evans at the ready.

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Originally Posted by Lofty

Yoro out til the new year :drool:

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He's out for 3 months.

https://www.swfc.co.uk/news/2024/aug...d-protection-/

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Although we cannot prevent supporters from wearing counterfeit shirts away from Hillsborough, we do respectfully request that such products are not displayed inside the stadium. Anyone found to be wearing a fake shirt inside Hillsborough could be asked to leave, with information passed on to the relevant parties.

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Right crowd pleaser there

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

He's out for 3 months.

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Not unreasonable to price complications/recurrence in.

Thoughts on Leeds this season @Magic?

I'm cautiously optimistic. I think we'll be in the mixer again, for sure.

Losing Archie Gray was a bit of a blow, as was Summerville. Although the latter was very much expected to be honest. I do think Championship defenders would have had his number (or just physically kicked the shit out of him) a bit more this season anyway though. I think we've still got a squad to compete at the top end and we got fair money for both sales, so there's scope for a bit more investment hopefully yet as well.

Obviously this post is probably now destined precede Portsmouth hammering us at home opening day.

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Originally Posted by Alex

Thoughts on Leeds this season @Magic?

I'm cautiously optimistic. I think we'll be in the mixer again, for sure.

Losing Archie Gray was a bit of a blow, as was Summerville. Although the latter was very much expected to be honest. I do think Championship defenders would have had his number (or just physically kicked the shit out of him) a bit more this season anyway though. I think we've still got a squad to compete at the top end and we got fair money for both sales, so there's scope for a bit more investment hopefully yet as well.

Obviously this post is probably now destined precede Portsmouth hammering us at home opening day.

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We've hit the bar three times in the first 6 minutes lol. And now a penalty.

Look crazy good.

Edit: Meslier. Fuck off.

Only just clocked that we are playing Seville and Las Palmas tomorrow, consecutively. Interesting.

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Originally Posted by Magic

We've hit the bar three times in the first 6 minutes lol. And now a penalty.

Look crazy good.

Edit: Meslier. Fuck off.

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Seems like you’re going to win this one eventually, but it’s at least encouraging for us that we’ve scored a couple. Definitely still got concerns about some of the players we’re having to start, but hopefully some PL loans & a couple of proper signings are on the way to help us out.

Oh. My. God

Nice while it lasted.

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Originally Posted by John Arne

Only just clocked that we are playing Seville and Las Palmas tomorrow, consecutively. Interesting.

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Robertson’s back too. :drool:

'Pep' getting his theatrical telling offs in early doors. 'Amad' has looked good.

Probably wouldn’t have had Sancho on one.

Not to sound like my mother, but how does a professional footballer spoon it over like that? Blasting it over is one thing, but that looked like the first time he has ever kicked a ball.

Time for your first Gateshead update of the new season.

Gateshead 5-1 Ebbsfleet. Top of the league. Captain Greg Olley with a hat-trick.

I'm relieved this is just a friendly again.

ITV really trying to make it matter

Hello Jota.

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Rooney's first game at Plymouth is a 4-0 defeat to Sheffield Wednesday. At some point there is going to have to be some accountability for all these people who keep giving him managerial jobs.

While I would love to dig him out, why is a crap team that spent 4.5 million quid beating another crap team that spent 450 grand with 2 goals coming in the last 10 minutes a massive enditement.

Portsmouth haven't been in the league for 12 years and took Leeds to the brink, does that mean whoevers in charge there should also be sacked?

I may be slightly biased by the job he did at Derby and the fact that Liam Roseniors been a massive success might be a classic case of the brains being in the backroom but I think it's a bit harsh.

We gave Everton a bit of a drubbing and were narrowly edged by Werder Bremen in our last pre-season games so we've gone into a season with rare optimism and of course lost 1-0 late on at Stoke.

Someone needs to intervene over Rooney's hair. Is he not allowed to cut the bit that's been grafted on?

Luke Shaw's apparently done one training session after coming back from the Euros and is out for 3 weeks.

Giving Reece James a run for his money at this point.

He must be due a testimonial soon.

Just beat Bristol City to win our first league cup match in around 35 years. The Sky Sports+ thing is good that you can fritter between 30 matches all going on at the same time but the production quality is about what you'd expect when you're stretching it out over 30 matches all going on at the same time.

Smart from Jose to bottle UCL qualification. Europa league trophy in the bag.

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

He must be due a testimonial soon.

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This season would be his testimonial year. He appears to have averaged nineteen league games per season, and he's contracted until 2027. Shit.

Testimonials are all but a dead practice, right? Newcastle haven't had one for a decade.

Testimonials were designed as a big old whip-round, which isn't really the thing when everyone's on six figures a week.

Referee's call is here :cool:

You can stay with your original decision, Tayls, you're on screen now.

Can't see Farke lasting much longer at Leeds.

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After what time the interviewer had used the phrase 'good looking' do you think he began to regret where his question was going.

Blocking at set pieces to be more stringently policed by VAR? That'll be lol and not at all a complete clusterfuck, and RIP Arsenal.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football...s/ckgw1grdppzo

This guy must be the biggest idiot in football.

They’ve got Archie Gray and Sarr, they’ll be fine.

Penalties in this ajax game have been on for over 20 mins :D

Ajax have just missed for the 4th time in sudden death to win it. This is amazing

They finally win 13-12 after 17 pens

Top effort from Brobbey to miss both efforts.

His first one is arguably the worst penalty you’ll ever see

I didn't realise we had to play a qualifying round to get into the Conference League. Servette! Absolutely superb St Gallen vibes.

Ice Cream Van Stand :) #MassiveClub

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La Liga apparently working on playing the December Barcelona v Atletico Madrid game in... Miami.

Farmers league.

New ref stuff this season. Can't see any of this being an issue.

- Semi-automated offsides will be introduced but won't start until AFTER the international break in September, October or even November.
- Only the captain can speak to the referee. Any other player will be automatically carded if they confront officials.
- VAR officials will not get involved in subjective decisions: only CLEAR and OBVIOUS errors will be looked at.
- No mid-season/Christmas break for the players
- There is a new Premier League Match Centre social-media account that will communicate the facts regarding VAR decisions.

That only the captain speaking to the referee stuff is unenforceable guff. Football is a working class sport, players will never ever respect the referee now matter how good the ref is or no matter how hard you try.

Also looking forward to Objective Stuart Attwell deciding which subjective decisions he should not get involved in.

Handballs are going to be less punitive as well, and you also won't be auto-booked for an unintentional handball leading to a penalty, although that throws up other questions in and of itself.

United might want to give the armband to someone else in that case.

Could you in theory just rotate the armband during the game so that everyone can have a crack in turn?

Just googled Olympic Football 2024 Final to check something and for some reason google defaulted to showing me the women's first, which doesnt make sense as surely you'd do it alphabetically?

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Originally Posted by Ben

- VAR officials will not get involved in subjective decisions: only CLEAR and OBVIOUS errors will be looked at.

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Sure.

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Originally Posted by Lofty

Just googled Olympic Football 2024 Final to check something and for some reason google defaulted to showing me the women's first, which doesnt make sense as surely you'd do it alphabetically?

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We all know what's going on.

With that said, that must be the biggest women's tournament, while no one gives a fuck about the men's one.

Probably because God's United States won gold and it therefore got googled more times.

Is this another example of USWNT being SHOVED DOWN OUR THROATS?

It is quite funny how Sky meticulously airbrush Dick Keys and Andy Gray out of all their historical coverage montages now.

I’d be the first top say woke gone mad, but you can’t be at that shit.

They were 100% saying that kind of stuff all along, but at a certain point they became too expensive and that's why Sky found a way to get rid.

As such have little sympathy for the video touchers of today.

When was the last time Fulham won at OT?

Quite literally the last time they went there.

Silva has also yet to lose an opening day fixture as a manager.

2-1 in February, Iwobi with a 97th minute winner.

Good value for it too. I'm expecting at least a draw tonight.

This Traore v Dalot battle straight from the prison showers.

United needing to advertise for a new club Butcher after that one.

Muniz is such a baller.

Ten Haag ball is hilarious. Just sit deep and pray you do something on the counter

Have Man Utd bought a midfielder yet? Sure there’s a Dutch boy kicking about somewhere

Yeah this is dire from them. I get your new signings aren't all in yet but nothing has changed at all in terms of playstyle.

There must be some eighteen year old in the system who could at least loiter around up front and hold the ball up a bit.

All of United's three decent chances have come directly from Leno and/or the lumbering Bassey trying to play it out of the back like they're Victor Valdes and Pique.

Maguire :lol:

Quite like the VAR if it actually ends up working like this. Ref makes the call, up it goes to Jared Gillett (the best a man can fillet), and if it's not a complete injustice he just says on ya cobber and the game goes on. Spontaneity restored in part.

Whether this will survive first contact with some of the other idiots on the VAR panel, who knows.

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Originally Posted by Lewis

There must be some eighteen year old in the system who could at least loiter around up front and hold the ball up a bit.

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Casemiro could do a job.

Man United look alright. Fulham...do not. Weird United line up though.

Fulham miss that midfielder who went to Bayern. Smith rowe is good but they don't look great as a team.

A lot of heavy legs on show already. This has more the feel of a pre-season game at the minute.

This is quite a funny example of literally all 22 players being well off the pace, so pretty much every tackle is late and every pass misplaced.

Mount looked like he was coming off a 90-game season.

Casemiro goal in last ten mins all over this.

Referee hates an advantage

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

Quite like the VAR if it actually ends up working like this. Ref makes the call, up it goes to Jared Gillett (the best a man can fillet), and if it's not a complete injustice he just says on ya cobber and the game goes on. Spontaneity restored in part.

Whether this will survive first contact with some of the other idiots on the VAR panel, who knows.

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It'll revert back to the norm soon enough and goals will be disallowed for testicles being offside again.

We are fucking MASSIVE.

:lol:

Fucking hell.

Garnacho is a real curious case. Like a sort of half-being, exploring the very darkest regions of the netherworld that exists between humanity and the rodents, never quite falling on one side or the other.

Fulham very wasteful with the positions they got themselves into. Pereira desperately poor.

Managers: play a striker. You score more goals and win more games. If you don't do this you are a bad manager, trying too hard.

Top of the league :drool:

Frustrating start to the season, we've thrown that point away. We look sharp in transition, get up the field well and carry the ball quickly into good positions but making that final pass/decision just wasn't there today.

Muniz looked good again though, some nice link-up play. The improvement in the past 12 months is really something.

I've always had a soft spot for Fulhams general inoffensiveness but now they have Iwobi and Smith-Rowe. I let out an audible grown at the move around the 70th minute where (I think it was) Muniz didn't make that final pass, got tackled and then passed it off to Iwboi when he was offside.

It was Pereira who ballsed that up but yes, that was the most egregious example. I was fuming at that initial attempt of a through ball, he ended up just scuffing it straight at Maguire.

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Ten Haag ball is hilarious. Just sit deep and pray you do something on the counter

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Not necessarily the worst strategy when you have

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

Leno and/or the lumbering Bassey trying to play it out of the back like they're Victor Valdes and Pique.

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Pretty much the way Arsenal have ascended to the top of the league in the last few years. Keep it tight and let "modern football" do the work for you.

No idea how Slotball will manage first contact with the passion of Ed Sheeran / the ghost of Bobby Robson / Marcus Stewart montages at lunchtime. Probably badly. Szmodics debut goal inbound.

Absolutely battered Oxford last night, but also threw a few goals their way and didn't score the winner until the 96th minute so the 3-2 win was really put on for the cameras.

As a Pompey fan who’s about to go watch them get smashed by Luton, that Cov winner was very much appreciated.

Ipswich fielding some famous names from history today. J Greaves and C Chaplin.

Actually looking forward to this.

I'm hoping the injection of a more possession based approach gives that edge to more consistently take the front foot in games, rather than 'oh no the other team scored first again, time for a stressful comeback win.'

Saying that, under Rodgers it all got a bit possession for the sake of it and it turned proper shite, so we'll see.

Odds on Jota getting his customary goal + injury...

We just took a throw in a good 30yrds away from where it went out, and the ref let it go.

On what planet is that not a second yellow card? The most obviously deliberate handball you'll see. Isn't that what VAR is for?

VAR cant give yellows(unless it's downgrading a red) IIRC.

Jenas is onto something with the pitch. It's really not helping either team. Showed most on that Ipswich break away. Sprinklers on max please lads. Oh and get me Harvey Elliott and Darwin Nunez STAT.

WBA v Leeds is a painful watch.

We need to get Elliot on pretty sharpish. Midfield too flat.

Just clocked no Goe Jomez on the bench. Twitter tells me he's made himself unavailable in case of transfer offer. Wonderful stuff.

Doak, Bajcetic and Morton not involved in either the senior or youth squads so they're all likely off too.

LB with a very confusing attempt at defending for the goal.

Another one to the "Only Mo Salah...." category.

What a player.

We looked much better in the second half there.

Yeah I very much like what I saw after about the 50th minute. Lots of incisive passing through the midfield and forwards. You can tell Diaz, Alexis, Salah etc dont quite have their sharpness yet.

Good to see Gravenberch with a good showing too.

Yeah I didn’t see much of the game but from what I saw of Gravenberch he looked very good. Maybe as one of two sitting he could work.

Prime Artetaball masterclass this (quite boring, goal from a header, arsenal winning)

You'd think footballers would've learned by now not to nudge their heads together.

Crewe 0-5 down at home :/

Meanwhile Gateshead game was mysteriously suspended for a bit. It's resumed now with a Woking player sent off.

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Originally Posted by phonics

Prime Artetaball masterclass this (quite boring, goal from a header, arsenal winning)

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Prime Artetaball masterclass this. (Absolutely nothing happens for 25 minutes and then Saka cuts in and whollops it in the back of the net, arsenal win)

Ashley Young becoming the oldest red card in PL history. Anti-Nominative determinism?

Brighton going top. :cool:

Pretty dull opening day/round so far.

Everton :D

Drink in the seethe. :drool:

lol West Ham.

Full time from wherever the hell Woking play their games: Woking 0-2 Gateshead. Top of the pile still.

Decent attack from Marseille. A rapist, a murderer and a guy who gets school kids to masterbate in front of him

Can't believe the West Ham title charge only lasted 4 minutes.

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Originally Posted by Shindig

Meanwhile Gateshead game was mysteriously suspended for a bit. It's resumed now with a Woking player sent off.

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Fella's leg got snapped in half by all accounts following a dirty challenge by a Woking player. Ambulance on the pitch and took the players off.

That Danilo one didn't look too nice either, poor bugger.

It was Greg Olley (our captain who scored a hat-trick last weekend) who was knackered. He's gonna be a big miss. :(

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Decent attack from Marseille. A rapist, a murderer and a guy who gets school kids to masterbate in front of him

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5-1 win though.

Forgot De Zerbi was there. Makes sense, definitely on the register somewhere

lol at that Newcastle goal.

When are these idiots going to learn?

Prime Martin ball. 78% possession :D

I have just seen that Slot hooked Quansah for tactical reasons. He even told him we can't keep control because you keep losing your duels, so I'm putting Konate on.

A bit of a change from the Klopp style of you criticize me, not my players. I quite like it. Very much feeling like he's not trying to continue on what we had before and is doing it his way.

Just got back from a stag do in Aberystwyth, a fun weekend overall, but the best bit was the outrageous equaliser the Aber lad scored right in front of us in the second half.

https://youtu.be/b6C0wcDXQ28?si=rz3uJSJLCFVxV0kM

3.43 to skip ahead past some admittedly pretty low quality highlights.

Connahs Quay actually looked pretty decent, they should have absolutely battered Aberystwyth really. I wasn't surprised when I found out afterwards they were second last season (more than 30 points behind TNS), and that they're full time professionals.

Their left winger was fucking quality, seemed a million times too good for the Welsh league, so I was surprised to find out he's a 23 year old who has played almost his entire career in the league for Newtown, and was playing in Halifax, Nova Scotia last season, rather than some 18 year old recently released by a football league side.

Anyway, Lifumpa Mwandwe can do one, Aber are massive. Genuinely think Aberystwyths equaliser was one of the best ten or so goals I've ever seen IRL, and that's having seen the mighty baggies nearly a hundred times.

Sterling left out of the squad entirely and has released a statement because of it. Barclays is back.

That’s probably Chelsea’s best possible team in terms of on paper anyway. Maybe Neto for one of the centre mids and into a 4231.

Which will make it funnier when City score 3+ here. The defence is tiny and Fofana looked like he’s never played football in all of his pre season games. Assumed baldy would have played Tosin to try negate Haaland’s physicality

The racist playing and being captain :p

He PR’d his way out. Alexis went on record to stick up for him and act like nothing wrong was done and he’s received zero flack. Strange

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Originally Posted by Gray Fox

The racist playing and being captain :p

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Just came in to say this. Bizarre.

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

He PR’d his way out. Alexis went on record to stick up for him and act like nothing wrong was done and he’s received zero flack. Strange

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Who is Alexis?

Chelsea probably want to hope that Saudi are interested in him as can’t see anyone else taking on his salary.

Nice to see Chelsea’s resident racist is captaining the team.

Alexis Mac Allister

How are 3 Liverpool fans piling in on racism of all things :lol:

I’ll give it 8 mins before Chelsea fuck up playing out from the back and hand Haaland a tap in

It is a bit strange he’s the captain.

Brushed under the carpet by Chelsea. Was cavani not banned for using a word perceived as a racist responding to a friend on Instagram? Yet chanting a well received to be racist song has no punishment?

Not sure Jackson starting is smart as much as he is a don. He’s played about 20 mins of pre season and that was at walking pace

Right then, when is The Former Leicester Manager becoming The Former Chelsea Manager?

This midfield 3 of Chelsea but more importantly Fernandez and Caicedo just does not work.

He’s there to stay unfortunately. He’s ‘their’ man. This is ‘their’ team. Directors will just brief the journalists about patience and giving it time to work for the next 6 weeks.

Wolves and West Ham away from home in the next few weeks as well where Chelsea never win at. Should be fun

I dunno. This one seems very Liz v Lettuce for me. Everything about the appointment seems off.

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Originally Posted by Luke Emia

This midfield 3 of Chelsea but more importantly Fernandez and Caicedo just does not work.

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You’d think managers would see how much better Fernandez is deep (Benfica and Argentina) but no they keep deciding to play his fat ass far up the pitch and fail at pressing

Would be like playing a Busquets or Rodri type far up the pitch

Guiu? They're just making people up now.

Jackson is fucking tragic.

Can already tell Dewsbury-Hall will emulate Danny Drinkwater. So mid

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Originally Posted by Gray Fox

Guiu? They're just making people up now.

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Renato Veiga is 100% a regen.

Going to be a horrendous season. Boring football and embarrassing goalkeepers and defence

How the fuck do you sign so many keepers and so much money and think Robert Sanchez is good enough for a Premier League side I don’t know.

Eventually the penny will drop that it is not the manager/head coach.

It’s on the manager for thinking he should start games even if the directors are beyond mental

At this point I have zero doubt that Boehly also has a say in picking the team.

Boehly doesn’t even have a say in the transfers. He was used as the face of the takeover. He owns barely any of the club.

This has been the most boring game I’ve watched in a long while. Proper pre season vibes

That's been a bit of a theme for every game I've seen. The late end to last season and the start of this not being pushed back a bit has these games coming around a bit too soon.

We'll likely be in September before anyone starts getting properly sharp.

I was really hoping my game of cricket would go the distance so I didn't have to tune into any of that shite. 89 all out. Fucking wankers.

Have Chelsea considered buying Kovacic?

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Originally Posted by Gray Fox

Sterling left out of the squad entirely and has released a statement because of it. Barclays is back.

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:D

"There was expectation"

Where's he going to go, QPR?

£325k a week apparently. Hope they haven't given him a 10 year deal.

Reminds me of the text messages I get when I drop some useless cunt from the 2s to the 3s.

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Originally Posted by Gray Fox

Sterling left out of the squad entirely and has released a statement because of it. Barclays is back.

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I’d love him back in a red shirt.

Might have to be Leyton Orient.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

You’d think managers would see how much better Fernandez is deep (Benfica and Argentina) but no they keep deciding to play his fat ass far up the pitch and fail at pressing

Would be like playing a Busquets or Rodri type far up the pitch

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That's one of his best kicks in fairness, he usually just hits the wall.

What a way to bow out. A laughing stock in what appears to be a non-league level ground/crowd.

I see big Ivan Toney might be on his way out there.

Surely Toney must know he has no chance of going to the World Cup if he goes out there.

He's probably not got much chance anyway given his form since returning from his ban.

Wonder if Raheem might be heading there too.

6 draws from 8 in the opening round if Serie A, 4 of them scoredraws. Il Poolsio Littlewoodsio in ruins and amidst it all Napoli managed to get absolutely gubbed. Wheels have very much come off there. Billy Gilmour to the rescue!? Someone should take a punt on getting that Georgian lad out of there.

Our Carabao Cup tie is scheduled for Wednesday 28th. Tonali's first day back. :drool: Unless he bets on it.

Is there anything more small time than singing songs about an ex-player who moved to your rivals before half your current team was born? :D

Leicester look very shit.

Hotspur fans still singing about Sol Campbell. 23 years ago, lads. It's closer in time to Elvis dying than to the present day.

EDIT: Lofty beat me while I was looking up exactly when Elvis died.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

Leicester look very shit.

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That line up looks tragic. Maybe Maresca is a genius. They’ll be lucky to get 25 points. Jamie Vardy ffs

Can hardly sing about when they won the league last October can they?

Never change Spurs.

I hate the word 'Spursy' but this is very Spursy.

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Jamie Vardy ffs

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It's just who we are, mate.

Just turned the game on, what's up with Bentancur?

Jamie Vardy 137 Premier League goals is a fucking immense effort, you have to say. Closing in on Robin van Persie and Sheringham.

Porro can't move lol

Gateshead update #3: Halifax 1 - 1 Gateshead.

Our reign at the top has been usurped by Eastleigh. 2nd for now.

Jenas has been sacked by the BBC for "inappropriate behaviour". What's he been up to then?

Hopefully because of this.

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Homophobic attack on a penguin is what I'm hearing.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Spikey M

Jenas has been sacked by the BBC for "inappropriate behaviour". What's he been up to then?

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If this results in more Big Meeks. :face:

That dog looks supsiciously like one of the ones on the run.

Jenas been firing off dick pics to junior colleagues apparently.

Coin coin coin coin coin.

That video is strangely hypnotic, unlike his dick pics I'd imagine.

One question though, what does he mean by only certain men will know what he means about securing the coin? Every man needs money, right?

He probably means the mobile phone Ashley Cole stuck up his arse. Allegedly.

He was sacked whilst live on talksport talking about Ten Haag’s odds of being sacked by Christmas. Funny guy

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Lol

Wasn't Edwards given a fully paid holiday by the same company for being a paedo?

What's the deal with the way the BBC are reporting line-ups now? They make it look like Badiashile is in goal for Chelsea. I assume he isn't [although can't rule it out entirely] but it's not as if they are just going with numerical order. Ah, it's alphabetical order. Odd.

That’s a premium Stoke City defence there. Everyone 6ft3+ and as agile as Andre the Giant

Imagine thinking this shitfest would be on TV. Not even on a channel I don't have.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

What's the deal with the way the BBC are reporting line-ups now? They make it look like Badiashile is in goal for Chelsea. I assume he isn't [although can't rule it out entirely] but it's not as if they are just going with numerical order. Ah, it's alphabetical order. Odd.

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That’s even worse than by squad number.

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Originally Posted by Yevrah

That video is strangely hypnotic, unlike his dick pics I'd imagine.

One question though, what does he mean by only certain men will know what he means about securing the coin? Every man needs money, right?

---

Coin is a slang term used towards women men are only interested in for sex, apparently.

I like it by squad number. Reminds me of the happy days of being at games as a boy, looking down the back of the programme as the teams were read out on the tannoy. Number 24, Sam Dalla Bona.

Alphabetically is horrendous.

Watching Mudryk and Dewsbury Hall together down the left could make the most passionate football fans fall out of love with it. Two genuinely horrendous footballers.

Another bore fest being served up by the bald Leicester manager

Let's hope the next manager doesn't want to play a high energy direct style.

Is there a thing behind Nkunku and his balloon?

Chelsea are genuinely awful. Spending £200m to become a lot worse is a great effort.

I'm sure this has been discussed and I missed it, but is there a logical explanation as to why they keep buying players?

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Originally Posted by Ben

Chelsea are genuinely awful. Spending £200m to become a lot worse is a great effort.

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Graham Potter vibes so far. Not fun

If there is I'm not sure anyone has worked it out yet.

I saw Rory Smith speculating there was some sort of 'disruptor' business at play, where they were trying to exert some sort of critical mass in the transfer market, thus fucking it up for everyone else [?], but I didn't really understand the argument.

I assume they just want a seat at the top table when, in their view, football moves to a closed shop super league franchise model, and the way they think to do that is by spending fucktons of money on players.

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Jesus wept.

The operation lives on.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

If there is I'm not sure anyone has worked it out yet.

I saw Rory Smith speculating there was some sort of 'disruptor' business at play, where they were trying to exert some sort of critical mass in the transfer market, thus fucking it up for everyone else [?], but I didn't really understand the argument.

I assume they just want a seat at the top table when, in their view, football moves to a closed shop super league franchise model, and the way they think to do that is by spending fucktons of money on players.

---

The idea appears to be to bring in a lot of young purportedly talented players on long contracts but relatively low wages.

Over the next few years, the hope is enough will come good that they'll be left with a very good team. The ones that don't will still have time left on their contracts so they won't lose them for free, but they will be on reasonable wages so can still be sold relatively easily.

I guess it's a vaguely interesting approach and will be worth seeing it play out.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

I saw Rory Smith speculating there was some sort of 'disruptor' business at play, where they were trying to exert some sort of critical mass in the transfer market, thus fucking it up for everyone else [?], but I didn't really understand the argument.

---

Indeed, that'd be akin to not liking your neighbours and deciding to take a shit on your own drive as a result.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

The idea appears to be to bring in a lot of young purportedly talented players on long contracts but relatively low wages.

Over the next few years, the hope is enough will come good that they'll be left with a very good team. The ones that don't will still have time left on their contracts so they won't lose them for free, but they will be on reasonable wages so can still be sold relatively easily.

I guess it's a vaguely interesting approach and will be worth seeing it play out.

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This is all well and good, and I agree an interesting thought experiment, but where it potentially falls down seems to be:

1 - their wage bill is astronomical,
2 - long contracts are as much of a millstone as a boon as you have to keep paying them,
3 - and they will make the players impossible to shift as no one in their right mind is going to match those wages so
4 - those amortised transfer values are illusory at best,
5 - how many big money deals, on avergae, actually 'pay off' in terms of the player actually improving these days, feels like it is a small percentage.

Guess it's all on Kendry Paez being Messi II. It's like they've sort of seen what Real Madrid have been up to for the last few years and thought how about we try that without appreciating all of the structural differences that allow Madrid to get away with their transfer strategy.

It's a baseball-style 'rebuild' where you bake in a few years of failure, gradually get rid of all the high-earning older players, and then you're left with a load of lesser-earning younger talent who either become good and win you things, or at worst leave you with the financial space to buy in the talent at that point when other teams will be stuck with their ageing players.

What they haven't got their heads around is that football fans demand stylish victory in every single game, and so a few years of finishing 11th while this process comes to fruition just won't wash. They also keep losing their heads and going against the programme, e.g. sacking Potter when they could easily have kept their nerve.

I still don't really get it, other than via the US ownership model where the players are essentially possessions and all the power lies with the owners/'front office'. In the world where one of their very long contract youngsters become really good, they aren't going to sit their on some pittance they've signed for 4 years ago, are they? Without even getting into the fact that the pittance is actually more than most equivalent players earn and in 4 years you have mid-20s Mudryk and 30 year old Tosin Adarabioyo chewing their way through a quarter of a million quid a week.

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

The operation lives on.

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He’s an 18 year old who has barely played any men’s football. He should be on loan or in the academy. Directors picking the team and squads though so what can you do

Quote:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

This is all well and good, and I agree an interesting thought experiment, but where it potentially falls down seems to be:

1 - their wage bill is astronomical,
2 - long contracts are as much of a millstone as a boon as you have to keep paying them,
3 - and they will make the players impossible to shift as no one in their right mind is going to match those wages so
4 - those amortised transfer values are illusory at best,
5 - how many big money deals, on avergae, actually 'pay off' in terms of the player actually improving these days, feels like it is a small percentage.

Guess it's all on Kendry Paez being Messi II. It's like they've sort of seen what Real Madrid have been up to for the last few years and thought how about we try that without appreciating all of the structural differences that allow Madrid to get away with their transfer strategy.

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The wage bill really isn’t that high at all. Assuming Sterling, Lukaku and Chilwell do leave then it’s fairly low. Assume 5th highest at best. Not good though because wage bills tend to reflect league position.

Wolves away on Sunday has 2-0 all over it. Look up Chelsea’s away record since wolves got promoted in 2017/18 against them, West Ham and Everton. I think they have 3 wins combined.

What is baldy actually doing there? Is he just a useful scapegoat that they can sack later? Maybe they should have just gone for Paul Heckingbottom or that guy who said bring your fucking dinner in the early 90s.

Show all the ambition in the world with the spending sprees on young footballers but hire Potter, Pochettino and baldy back to back to back.

Such an odd club

Also seem to have unlimited funds on players in positions they’re stacked in but cheap out on arguably the biggest issues (GK, LB, CF)

When you realise they don't give a shit how the team performs in the next three seasons (short of avoiding relegation) everything makes a lot more sense.

Results simply aren't important.

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Originally Posted by Boydy

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Lol

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A woke award, for a predatory man, sponsored by a slave trading fashion brand. That's some vintage 2024 shit right there.

It's been a great nostalgia ride seeing Servette playing Chelsea. The year I moved to Geneva they won the league. Within a year they'd moved from a 6 thousand seat stadium that they couldn't fill to a 30 thousand seat stadium that they really couldn't fill. Then they signed a 36 year old Christian Karambeu who left 3 months later because he'd never been paid, and soon after the owner fled the country because he was so corrupt he'd managed to get done for financial fraud in the city that's entire existence is based on financial fraud. They couldn't extradite him from Spain because he argued in the European Court of Human Rights that was scared of flying, which even if we ignore the fact that Spain and Switzerland are connected by land might have had his case undermined by the fact that he owned not 1 but 2 private jets. Having been bested by such a very right and justice based system the swiss were shit out of luck. Until the genius that is Marc Roger decided to try scam FLORENTINO PEREZ for 20 grand and suddenly the man was dropped off within Swiss borders.

They spent pretty much the entire time I was there in the second division. I went to a few games, it was fun because of how shit it was. Personal highlight was a cup game vs FC Sion that featured Gennaro Gattuso who must have been 40 at the time and Kyle Lafferty. We couldn't leave the car park for 2 hours after the game because the type of nutters who can bring themselves to care about this awful level of football decided to go full football factory and fight both each other and a set of riot police. So we sat on a nearby hill watching everyone launch tear gas at each other with a fucking castle in the background.

https://i.imgur.com/0YzikGZ.jpeg

Good to see them back.

Villareal’s centreback partnership is that Willy Kwambala that United had, and Eric Bailly.

How the fuck has Bailly gone from getting excluded from Besiktas' squad and released on a free for being too shit to starting for Villarreal.

The man is a walking paradox.

I really hope we can bring big Willy back one day.

I thought he was class.

Leverkusen won yesterday with a goal in the 11th minute of injury time. Who'd have thought?

Genuinely thought Billy Gilmour was already at Napoli. They cunts are the slowest negotiators in history

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Genuinely thought Billy Gilmour was already at Napoli. They cunts are the slowest negotiators in history

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Wieffer looks well better. Like the opposite of how Mainoo plays, always available for a pass no matter what.

Why hasn't Garnacho started the first two games? Injured?

https://i.imgur.com/BXarMzr.png

Statman Dave knows all about the great Kirkzee.

Feels like another game where United concede 30 shots to me.

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Originally Posted by John Arne

Why hasn't Garnacho started the first two games? Injured?

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I think it's just a preference.

The fuck was that? The ref let Brighton take a free kick with the ball moving then when they passed it directly to a United player, he pulled it back for them to retake.

Fucking hell Amad.

That's so clearly a yellow card.

Welbeck scoring against us.

Kill me now.

Slabhead and Mazraoui, ffs.

Would be nice if Rashford could learn the offside rule.

Is there some sort of Portugal-like sponsor obligation to play Rashford regardless? Would United buy him for that position if he wasn't already there?

Appreciate it's not the long-term plan but this false 9 Bruno thing needs to die. Zirkzee should just be starting.

Ah looks like he's coming on.

Genuinely didn't realise that Mount was playing when they announced he was coming off.

Amad :cool:

I think he's onside.

Can't get my head around Amad. He's looked poor all game, then does that.

That's going in regardless of the deflection.

Dodgy lines. Clearly offside

This is going to be offside because it hits Zirkzee ffs.

lol.

That's clearly off.

What a retard :lol:

I don't think I've ever seen that.

Ronaldo had a goal chopped off against Spain when Nani smashed it in on the goal line. Would have been an unreal goal as well

I remember that one, but did Zirkzee actually play for it? It looked like he was just pulling his leg back to stop and it hit him.

I thought he was trying to move his leg out of the way.

He's just stopping himself going into the net. It's ridiculously unlucky.

Minteh to put it very mildly is raw.

Maybe the quad isn't on...

Really smart to leave not one, not two but THREE players unmarked.

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

Really smart to leave not one, not two but THREE players unmarked.

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5 players closing down the crosser though!

Also very smart to give the man who defines Mid a new deal over the summer.

*waits for full time*

:drool:

Gateshead 3-1 Yeovil Town. Top again but we've got a couple of BIG GAMES coming up this week.

Experience suggests that McTominay ought to have been back there.

At least there's an easy one lined up next week.

Ipswich poked the bear far too soon.

Everton look absolutely honking again. I look forward to them somehow staying up with record low points.

At least Everton will have the best stadium in the Championship.

If they go down their £200m+ in loans become repayable in full, immediately.

Strike.

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The Brighton winning goal was funny as fuck. Every straight man in the city unmarked at the back stick.

Made the trip to Middlesbrough for the Pompey game. 2-2 is a decent result on paper but it’s a bit annoying to have been so close to a win again & then thrown it away with a stupid penalty. Could easily have had 9pts from the first three games but I’d have taken 3 before the season.

The home crowd was weirdly quiet for most of the game, and Middlesbrough is not the nicest place I’ve ever seen, but on the bright side we stayed in a 4 star hotel with a pool as it was the same price as a Premier Inn. We went down to leave for the game today & when the hotel lift opened Marlon Pack was standing there :wub:

Barca still haven't managed to register Olmo :D

Surely the year Arsenal finally win the league

I'll accept that on the condition that it's also the season Everton go down.

Arsenal can do the trebble if West Ham go down too.

Why does everyone hate Everton so much? Most of you aren't old enough to remember them being good and they're largely inoffensive. They don't even seem to do that Spurs thing where they think they're bigger than they are.

That’s such a good win. Saliba is god like. I apologise for slandering David Raya.

That Rodgers guy is good. Is he new? I’d never heard of him.

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Originally Posted by Giggles

Why does everyone hate Everton so much? Most of you aren't old enough to remember them being good and they're largely inoffensive. They don't even seem to do that Spurs thing where they think they're bigger than they are.

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They're just shite and they keep wriggling off the hook. Plus, angry scousers are very funny.

My Dad hated Everton in a way that he only previously thought of Wigan. As a West Brom fan I’ve never understood it but I respect how petty it is.

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Originally Posted by Spikey M

They're just shite and they keep wriggling off the hook. Plus, angry scousers are very funny.

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Is it the longest time in the top flight thing then? It's very strange, especially from Liverpool fans who's club is so many levels above them you couldn't even quantify it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by phonics

That’s such a good win. Saliba is god like. I apologise for slandering David Raya.

That Rodgers guy is good. Is he new? I’d never heard of him.

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Morgan Rogers. We bought him off Middlesborough for about £8m, about six months after they signed him from City. He's brilliant. He really came on leaps and bounds late last year, I saw him at VP and he was a real powerhouse. Had a terrific pre-season too and is looking like one of the first names on the teamsheet now. He was amazing today, so direct and powerful while on the run.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wmAtyDCru0


No idea why this is so watchable but I can't see myself not watching every second of it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Giggles

Is it the longest time in the top flight thing then? It's very strange, especially from Liverpool fans who's club is so many levels above them you couldn't even quantify it.

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From a Scouse Liverpool fan, the rivalry between us always used to be big brother to little brother kind of thing. I'm told in the 80s times were great as it was the two of us at the top most seasons.

Things have soured since and Everton spend a lot of time circling the drain. As such they have become quite bitter(our nickname for them was The Bitters for a long time). All they have now is "well at least Liverpool didn't win X." There is another fanbase going the same way but they're not fully there yet.

As such, even we're just kind of sick of them now.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gray Fox

From a Scouse Liverpool fan, the rivalry between us always used to be big brother to little brother kind of thing. I'm told in the 80s times were great as it was the two of us at the top most seasons.

Things have soured since and Everton spend a lot of time circling the drain. As such they have become quite bitter(our nickname for them was The Bitters for a long time). All they have now is "well at least Liverpool didn't win X." There is another fanbase going the same way but they're not fully there yet.

As such, even we're just kind of sick of them now.

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About 99% of fanbases in England are "at least Liverpool didn't win". Says more about Liverpool than Everton.

They aren’t at all. United maybe. Not Liverpool.

Also I forgot to shout-out Ben White, who upon seeing McGinn maybe kick a ball at Saliba decided to absolutely boot the ball as hard as he could at McGinns face so quickly it wasn’t even a decision. Just instinctively knew that he had the opportunity to be a cunt.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Clunge

Morgan Rogers. We bought him off Middlesborough for about £8m, about six months after they signed him from City. He's brilliant. He really came on leaps and bounds late last year, I saw him at VP and he was a real powerhouse. Had a terrific pre-season too and is looking like one of the first names on the teamsheet now. He was amazing today, so direct and powerful while on the run.

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I think you can be happy knowing you have a player just by the way Arteta treated him today. We had our central defender man marking him so tight today that he regularly ended up in the front 3. I’ve never seen us do anything like that to any player. Clearly thought that if we can stop him we win but couldn’t trust anyone outside the 6’3 bruiser to actually win those duels. Definitely going to make a big impact.

That Zirkzee offside. :D

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:D

Anyone able to confirm/deny if Wolves is indeed shit?

He’s not wrong. My old company’s head office was there. And to make my visits even greater, they’d put me up in Walsall.

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

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:D

Anyone able to confirm/deny if Wolves is indeed shit?

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Lol at him having a burner account.

The Wolves Twitter admin will have a field day come 4pm

Proper basketball match this Chelsea game. Wolves could score 3 or 4 again if they want to. This defence and set up is beyond tragic

Get your cocks out for this palmer goal. Absolutely stunning

I know other people's fantasy football is about as interesting as their dreams, but you lot might be somewhat amused that I forgot to captain haaland instead of isak

I went with Muniz to try be a hipster. Went well :D

Hat trick for Madueke after calling Wolverhampton a shite hole :cool:

Wonder goal and creating 3 goals for palmer. Best in the league

This is more like the mad shit I thought Chelsea might be up to this year.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Get your cocks out for this palmer goal. Absolutely stunning

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Yeah that is obscene to be fair.

Brentford continually pushing up beyond the point of insanity here.

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I'd laugh so hard if Liverpool make it 3-0 only for Brentford to get a 93rd minute consolation goal.

Another case of average first half but then very promising second half.

A very kind start to the season for the bald man from the completely random fixture computer

Yeah but he still lost against Brighton.

‘Trent’ toys out the pram for being subbed with 15 mins to go. What a diva.

Proper "you're not my real dad" vibes on the bench :D

I like Gary O'Neil, but losing 6-2 at home to us should be an auto-sack.

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

I like Gary O'Neil, but losing 6-2 at home to us should be an auto-sack.

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It was shocking. Give wolves maguire on loan. Its that bad.

Very lucky to get a point today. And Joelinton should've been off. :D

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Originally Posted by Shindig

Very lucky to get a point today. And Joelinton should've been off. :D

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Aye that's one of the most blatant reds I've ever seen. EPL refs going and getting paid squillions to ref in Saudi is I'm sure unrelated

It's the kind of thing that should be upgraded retrospectively.

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:lol:

:D And that's why everyone wants them relegated, @Giggles

In other news.

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No pants and vest?

"You'll have to wear the spare kit"

"Lads, scope out the away end and see if any of the replicas fit."

Just seen the xG on the Chelsea game. Good grief.

Just have them wear the Coventry away kit. Chelsea style.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

Just seen the xG on the Chelsea game. Good grief.

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The way XG is worked out is completely dumb, IMO. Like, two of Madueke’s goals were not difficult whatsoever. Same with Jackson and Felix’s goals. That and it doesn’t take into account fairly simple chances on the break being let down by a terrible pass. There’s not a chance Chelsea last week against City created near enough the same as they did yesterday

That Everton video is pretty much a microcosm of modern top flight football. On the face of it, fans who earn probably not much at all, and are charged huge amounts for the privilege of attending games, probably feel they are entitled to vent their fury at the people who earn 300 times in a week what the fan earns in a year, only to fail repeatedly and relentlessly. By the same measure, though, the furious fan is absolutely free to stop supporting Everton, or not to accept those charges for tickets and travel and just to follow the team from afar, so they only have themselves to blame.

The issue is that the fan almost certainly feels more Everton than they do even scouse, or English, British or any other identity. The football team for such a person is the number one expression of self, and yet it's also a multi-million pound corporation that does not need the fan at all and would much rather replace them with someone wealthier.

I'm very surprised that there haven't been more breakaway FC United type things.

I think most clubs do have their own version of FCUM these days. The problem is ironically, they tend to stall out after an initial surge precisely because they don't have the money. People then start jumping back off the bandwagon.

FCUM were as of last season in the same league as my locals(who went down) which I think is tier 7/8? They once got as high at winning the Tier 7 title, but they hit their wall and dropped back down. Attendances used to be a solid 5,000+ are now down to 2,000 or below. Good for their level but they're still stuck.

Same story for most if not all of these breakaway or phoenix clubs.

A big stopper for fcum was bad financial management and then actually a number of clubs at that level are pumped with money from rich owners. The fans are progressively getting older as well and they're struggling to get the next generation in at the moment.

So I looked up that Morgan Rogers guy and found he was one of the West Brom grads that City pinched and mentioned it to my Dad. Apparently he's from the same town as the Bellinghams. We have to do a serious investigation into the water there and distribute it across the country.

Gateshead 1-1 Oldham. Nobody around us won so we're still 2 points off the top. The top three remain unbeaten.

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Originally Posted by phonics

So I looked up that Morgan Rogers guy and found he was one of the West Brom grads that City pinched and mentioned it to my Dad. Apparently he's from the same town as the Bellinghams. We have to do a serious investigation into the water there and distribute it across the country.

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We bought him for £1m and sold him for a massive profit six months later. He did alright for us but nothing spectacular. At the time I thought we got a great deal...

Just watched our highlights which is the first I've actually seen of us this season bar 20 minutes at the end of City that I wasn't really watching. Mudryk looks like he's spent the summer in Bakhmut, and I'm increasingly convinced that 'KDH' has been signed purely for modelling purposes.

Palmer is a bit of a joke. Wonder how we'll keep him away from Real Madrid / Barcelona or going back to City for £100 billion.

He’ll be sold for 120m next year when Estevao and Paez join up.

I see Ryan Gauld has been called up by Scotland.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Luke Emia

I see Ryan Gauld has been called up by Scotland.

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Lol I was just about to post this. Genuinely thought he was going to be big when I saw him about 15 years ago.

EDIT: 13 years ago*

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Luke Emia

I see Ryan Gauld has been called up by Scotland.

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He’s been donning it in Vancouver for a few years. Making an absolute bomb as well. Lisbon followed by Vancouver is not a bad career at all from Brechin

Juan Izquierdo playing for Nacional collapsed whilst playing last week and has now died :(

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

He’ll be sold for 120m next year when Estevao and Paez join up.

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Would love him in a red shirt. There’s not many players in the league that I’d happily want at Liverpool but him (and Haaland ofc) are definites.

I'm watching Red Star Belgrade 1 (2), Bodo/Glimt 0 (2) in Champions League final qualifying. The latter are from the Arctic circle and feature a Russian goalkeeper and otherwise, as far as I can tell are entirely Norwegian. The former, who I am not supporting in this one it must be said, are completely dominant and I don't think they have a single Serb in their team, maybe one or two max.

Pumped.

Red Star fans are so weird. Everything is done in pre-choreographed yobbo chanting (I refuse to dignify them with 'ultras'), followed by giving themselves a round of applause when a chant is over, and other than a goal there is absolutely no reaction to anything happening on the pitch at all. They don't seem to support the team when they go forward, don't even whistle the referee really when a decision goes against them. Don't applaud their subs on, don't boo the oppo, nothing. All complete navel-gazing rubbish.

Chelsea away :drool:

Why are Dinamo Zagreb still Dinamo Zagreb, but Red Star Belgrade seem to have to be called Scissor Edna?

I don't think we've ever played Barrow, and if we have, I don't know about it.

1948, apparently. 5-0. Lofty's great-grandad in the mud.

Big fan of The Beeb securing European highlights.

Isn't 'Red Star Belgrade' just what we call them because that foreign jumble is their actual name and who can be arsed? Like 'Inter Milan' or 'A.S. Juventus'.

Crvena Zvezda is for those bedroom wankers with long hair who call managers the 'trainer' and Juventus 'The Old Lady'.

Dunno if such people actually exist but let's say they do.

Brasil.

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

I don't think we've ever played Barrow, and if we have, I don't know about it.

1948, apparently. 5-0. Lofty's great-grandad in the mud.

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My grandad played for Barrow but it was 1949, not 1948 :D

http://barryhugmansfootballers.com/player/15212

I see that O'Riley chap was instakilled by a horrendous challenge from the Crawley Town captain. Nuke the Broadfield Stadium.

Fizzy Pop draw

Liverpool vs West Ham
Man City vs Watford
Arsenal vs Bolton
Man Utd vs Barnsley
Wycombe Wanderers vs Aston Villa
Coventry vs Tottenham
Walsall vs Leicester
Brentford vs Leyton Orient
Blackpool vs Sheffield Wednesday
Preston vs Fulham
Everton vs Southampton
QPR vs Crystal Palace
Stoke vs Fleetwood
Brighton vs Wolves
AFC Wimbledon vs Newcastle
Chelsea vs Barrow

I'm struggling to understand the excuse for the seeding system other than to try and keep 'the big clubs' from knocking each other out too early.

Brighton v Wolves feels like a cup game that happens every year.

There’s extra games with the new CL and EL fixtures. They could end up playing each other within 24 hours of their European game

Champions League winner this season could feasible play 17 games (excluding any qualifiers), which includes 2 playoffs games if they finish between between 8th-24th. 17 (SEVENTEEN).

How long before they sack it off and go back to something more like the old format?

Two group stages was the one.

I know some of you must have done a few playthroughs on FM and can tell me otherwise, but instinctively this feels like it will deliver more random results depending on who gets the luck with schedule (which I suppose is the same as having an easy group, but doesn't feel as such in the league format).

From my vast FM experience, a few more random results, but the additional games just gives the bigger teams time to correct any one-off freak results.

The second round (or play-off round) could be more interesting with some smaller clubs scraping through against those top teams who didn't quite make the top 8.

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Originally Posted by Baz

Two group stages was the one.

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Absolutely.

I feel like in hindsight it's not as popular as I imagined, but in my head it's still king.

Two group stages was absolutely dire, even though we had one of our best runs and legendary European nights under that format. Knockout football >>>>

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

I know some of you must have done a few playthroughs on FM and can tell me otherwise, but instinctively this feels like it will deliver more random results depending on who gets the luck with schedule (which I suppose is the same as having an easy group, but doesn't feel as such in the league format).

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It feels to me like they are trying to turn the 'European Season' into an NFL type thing.

Is the play-off round seeded in anyway [ie 9 plays 24 etc] or is it a random draw? Can teams from the same nation play each other in the initial mega-league phase?

No more Trippier at Left Back for England.

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You must be quaking in your boots lads.

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Robbie fucking Brady.

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

I know some of you must have done a few playthroughs on FM and can tell me otherwise, but instinctively this feels like it will deliver more random results depending on who gets the luck with schedule (which I suppose is the same as having an easy group, but doesn't feel as such in the league format).

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It gives your minnows a better chance to claim the odd win in their 2 games in the teams from the same pot.

What I think they're more after though is ridding the group stages of that last pointless game or two. One giant group stage for the most part keeps everyone playing their best teams for fear of not getting in that top 8/24.

Your City/Madrid will likely still sail to that point and at the other end, there will be a team that loses all 8, but it keeps that drama going.

It also makes it massively advantageous to play the BIG BOYS later in your schedule rather than earlier.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

It feels to me like they are trying to turn the 'European Season' into an NFL type thing.

Is the play-off round seeded in anyway [ie 9 plays 24 etc] or is it a random draw? Can teams from the same nation play each other in the initial mega-league phase?

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A bit of both. A draw with 9-16 seeded and 17-24 unseeded.

My guess is also that there's always goal difference / tie breaker trains at places 8, 16 and 24 in the last round of games. DRAMA.

Did we forget to tell Carsley about his promotion?

These UEFA presentations and fluff before draws get worse each time.

I'd love it if the AI software helping the draw fucks up.

Man City will get Inter and Dortmund, Shakhtar and Club Brugge, Celtic and Young Boys and Sturm Graz and Brest.

Edit: Not as easy as that but still a breeze.

This draw style is so shit.

Absolutely nothing to say they havent already made up these fixtures before hand.

Following this on the BBC livetext I haven't a scooby-doo what is going on.

They have Buffon drawing a team manually, then Ronaldo pushes a big button and the fixtures for that team appear.

I thought it was only one big group? Why the draw?

You need to be randomly drawn your two opponents from each pot, to make up your 8 games.

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Originally Posted by Giggles

I thought it was only one big group? Why the draw?

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You only play 8 games so the draw is to see who you play.

You get two from each pot.

Looks a fairly horrendous draw for Arne Slot's boys.

Would be nice to beat Madrid for once.

PSG look like they've been stitched up as well, but maybe none of it means anything.

I like the look of this format. Effectively no seeding.

Yeah, it's irrelevant which pot you are in. Someone hasn't war-gamed this properly for the Big Club Alliance.

Livramento called up. :drool:

The creeping menace will presumably be 5 and 6 places given to the big leagues at some point.

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It's coming home.

I probably do have to look at myself as a self-hating white person when I see names like Eberechi Eze, Angel Gomes, Noni Madueke in the squad and the only name that triggered the reaction of 'Wait, he's English?' was Tino Livramento.

It's great, really. Portuguese dad, Scottish mother and a very Italian name.

Chelsea getting beat by Servette :D

This defence is beyond tragic

"Best player in the league" with a shocking miss there.

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

"Best player in the league" with a shocking miss there.

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You’re saying it like he’s not.

Bobbled anyway

Group stage soccer. Please draw us against TNS or some other proper jokers.

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Originally Posted by Spikey M

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It's coming home.

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Angel Gomes at the 6. MGW at the 10. Phwoar.

Is that the Angel Gomes who got pied by Man Utd? I’m not the know-it-all I was 20 years ago but what the fuck is going on here?

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

Group stage soccer. Please draw us against TNS or some other proper jokers.

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I’ve genuinely not even heard of some of them teams in pots 4-6.

I've heard it said that the ideal European draw is somewhere near, somewhere far and somewhere beach. In that case the away games need to be TNS, Pafos, 'Noah' (with his ark) and Astana.

Don't think that's possible actually, but let's say it is.

I haven’t seen the draw yet but if FM is anything to go by then the Conference League group stage is where this madness really shines. An absolute sea of shite.

Larne have qualified for the conference league. Madness.

https://editorial.uefa.com/resources...g?imwidth=2048

Just look at that. Magnificence from start to finish.

It’s like when PES didn’t have licences to any real team names.

Pafos and pathos for Chelsea [/henrywinter]

There's something new every time I look at it. Cercle Brugge! Sounds like a road. How are Panathinaikos in pot 5 but Oswestry's finest in pot 4? We don't need answers.

EDIT: Nevermind, confused pots with groups and spouted nonsense.

Pot 1 is a cracking assembly of locations for away fans, plus Linz.

Could theoretically have to fly to Cyprus 3 different times if you’re a pot 1 team. I’d be fuming

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Originally Posted by Serj

That's a cracking group for Chelsea supporters in terms of away trips. Linz being the dull outlier, but Copenhagen, Gent, Florence and Seville? Fantastic.

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That’s just the seeded teams. Well, pot 1 teams. You play a team in each pot.

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Originally Posted by Boydy

Larne have qualified for the conference league. Madness.

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Haven't they had fairly big (relatively) investment recently?

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

That’s just the seeded teams. Well, pot 1 teams. You play a team in each pot.

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Yeah, I realized that too late, I've edited it.

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Could theoretically have to fly to Cyprus 3 different times if you’re a pot 1 team. I’d be fuming

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Cyprus is lovely, bar Paphos.

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Originally Posted by Giggles

Haven't they had fairly big (relatively) investment recently?

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Yeah but they're still a Nothern Irish league team. Apparently the first ever to make the group/league stage of a European competition - I guess when other teams managed to get theough to later stages it was all knockouts?

They've won the league the last two years but they haven't been that much better than the other teams.

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Could theoretically have to fly to Cyprus 3 different times if you’re a pot 1 team. I’d be fuming

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I believe you're limited to 2 teams from a country in your fixtures.

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Could theoretically have to fly to Cyprus 3 different times if you’re a pot 1 team. I’d be fuming

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Chelsea could just leave a team out there if that happens.

I'm obsessed now with Conference League and all its paraphernalia. Just called all my friends in Jakarta and told them to abandon their dinner plans.

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https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GWLSHmEX...g&name=900x900

They really need to do this draw better than pressing a big ball and the fixtures appear.

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

Cyprus is lovely, bar Paphos.

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Properly boring European away game though

Shite draw. I’ve heard of every team other than the Noah chumps

It's a nice draw. I'm going to make it my mission to get to Chelsea v Noah. Shame we are at home to the Irish side though, I was looking forward to visiting the quaint town of Shamrock and dancing through its streets after our win. Do you think they serve Guinness there?

Is that a tier below the uefa League?

Fucking Merino injured already :D

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

It's a nice draw. I'm going to make it my mission to get to Chelsea v Noah. Shame we are at home to the Irish side though, I was looking forward to visiting the quaint town of Shamrock and dancing through its streets after our win. Do you think they serve Guinness there?

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You'd do well in Tallafornia.

There is a real threat that I'm going to have to make my first ever visit to (the island of) Ireland before the year is out, I presume the red carpet rolled out for me will be the one drenched in the blood of their forefathers.

Which bit? Or do you mean Larne for the soccer and not work?

Can Larne play at home in this or do they have to use Windsor? I think nearly every club here has to use Shamrock Rovers ground instead of their own in Europe.

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

Cyprus is lovely, bar Paphos.

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What’s wrong with Paphos? I’ve been about 20 times and it’s so inoffensive.

20 times. What

My aunt has a house there so we just get some flights once a year or so. Cheap late year sun.

I like this new Liverpool manager. Looks like a lad would be up beside you on the high stool of a Friday evening after a day on a digger.

I fancy a trip to Bucharest and maybe the Czech one. Oh and Porto to appease the wife.

#imhungariannow

Err what :harold:

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Originally Posted by Kikó

Err what :harold:

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Yes I know, but once you go east of Germany they're all the one anyway so I'll stand by the sentiment.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Giggles

I like this new Liverpool manager. Looks like a lad would be up beside you on the high stool of a Friday evening after a day on a digger.

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I am liking that he isn't Klopp Lite or Klopp 2.0. Seems very much his own man with zero fucks given if he has to upset the Status Quo either.

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Originally Posted by Gray Fox

I am liking that he isn't Klopp Lite or Klopp 2.0. Seems very much his own man with zero fucks given if he has to upset the Status Quo either.

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Yeah in fairness it looks like they've the homework done on him from what I've seen so far. I'd say Klopp was fair enough in that they knew long before any of the rest of us too, seemed like the type.

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Originally Posted by Ben

What’s wrong with Paphos? I’ve been about 20 times and it’s so inoffensive.

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Brits have ruined it.

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Asked if the club's fans had been sold a false dream, Howe, who has managed the side since 2021, said: "I don't think the dream dies, necessarily, but I think it takes a lot longer.

"We've got to build our revenue streams, that is the biggest thing. We've got to bring more money into the football club, however we do that - through player sales, through sponsorship, through loads of various things.

"That's the big thing that we need to focus on now for the next, probably, 10 years.

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The beautiful game.

I can't wait til it all dies.

On the one hand, I've always been happy we haven't spent like daft clowns but I'm also annoyed we're realistically a 7th-placed club. It doesn't take much for the sides below you to catch up and breaking into Champions League footy requires a big slice of luck.

The alternative was sticking with a Mike Ashley who simply couldn't be bothered with it.

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Originally Posted by Shindig

On the one hand, I've always been happy we haven't spent like daft clowns but I'm also annoyed we're realistically a 7th-placed club. It doesn't take much for the sides below you to catch up and breaking into Champions League footy requires a big slice of luck.

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Yeah it's mad, when it happend Newcastle were meant to be the next city (in the media). Did a royal die or lose interest or something or what?

The loose threat of FFP means they cant just pump the money in like City did post-2008, or Chelsea in the mid 00's. You need to be bringing in all of the sponsorships and such to cover it off.

Newcastle having been in purgatory for ages meant they don't have any of that built up yet.

Could they not just cheat it like the others?

You can bend the rules fine, but the amount they'd need to spend to get to the next level would be too obvious.

Weirdly, the obsessiveness with 'financial doping' is only really serving to further entrench the earlier alleged misfeasances of City. Chelsea never had to cheat anything. Simpler wild west times. Perhaps better times.

Chelsea spent daft when Abramovich came in. Ranieri's tinkerman persona came about because they (stop me if you've heard this one) had bought too many players.

I didn't realise City had balanced things so well. I just always thought generic el Halalalllalalllallallahandchop would be able to inject a few bob to keep all good.

I said at the time the Saudis couldn't just come in and buy the League and everyone lolled. Another of my countless e-victories.

How much have they spent under MBS?

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Originally Posted by Giggles

I didn't realise City had balanced things so well. I just always thought generic el Halalalllalalllallallahandchop would be able to inject a few bob to keep all good.

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Whilst it remains to be seen whether their deals survive scrutiny, they still had a good few years where there were no real rules to build up some sort of base to start scamming from. When did FFP come in? 2012?

Didn't realise they were even at City that long.

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Originally Posted by Manc

How much have they spent under MBS?

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Khashoggi was the first case of amortisation.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Manc

How much have they spent under MBS?

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2021/2 - £167m
2022/3 - 116.8m
2023/4 - £87m
2024/5 - £45m? I'm giving the Osula deal £15m but it's 'undisclosed' from the site I'm using.

£415.8m in total.

To put into perspective how mad the markets gone. In that first year Newcastle spent the same amount on Chris Wood as Chelsea spent on Frank Lampard, Emmanuel Petit, Zenden, Jesper Gronkjaer and William Gallas in his first season. The year Abramovich took over they managed to sign Claude Makelele, Glen Johnson and Joe Cole for 1 Chris Wood. They were then massively criticised for buying the league by following that up spending 1 more Chris Wood on Hernan Crespo and Damien Duff.

Aye, I thought it would be nice to compare Chelsea during Abramovich and City during the Robinho years but it just depresses me how the numbers have ballooned.

Still pretty sure we broke/made up the Robinho story on the morning of that deadline day.

Another good metric is looking at your club's record transfers. I count 10 of our current first team to be valued higher than Michael Owen.

Warrington play Needham Market today. :wtf:

Been watching 10-15 mins and Saka has already been on the floor 4 times.

Holy shit ‘Fletch’ has got to be the worst commentator to ever work in the industry.

Lewis Dunk is tragic.

Lewis Dunk is a fucking terrible player. Either that or he’s camera shy and just plays shite every time he’s on the tele.

It’s hard to take officials seriously when they cannot spoke obvious things like that coming off Gabriel for a corner

:drool:

Veltman lucky to still be on the pitch too, mind.

This FA Cup Qualifier between Campion and Blyth Spartans has been rotten. Blyth sacked Nobby Solano last weekend. 1-1.

I know they’re down to 10 men but I’m shocked Arsenal are playing so negative here. Aren’t even bothering to leave anyone up top

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Been watching 10-15 mins and Saka has already been on the floor 4 times.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by phonics

Holy shit ‘Fletch’ has got to be the worst commentator to ever work in the industry.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry

Lewis Dunk is tragic.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

Lewis Dunk is a fucking terrible player. Either that or he’s camera shy and just plays shite every time he’s on the tele.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

It’s hard to take officials seriously when they cannot spoke obvious things like that coming off Gabriel for a corner

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Waffdon

I know they’re down to 10 men but I’m shocked Arsenal are playing so negative here. Aren’t even bothering to leave anyone up top

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Fucking hell cheer up

Veltman. :cool:

Such a snidely little shit.

Great pass by Dunk for the goal as well. Raheem already destabilising hitherto unstoppable title favourites Arsenal.

I’m watching Brentford for FPL purposes. Brereton Diaz is such a knob.

Are Southampton going to be this season's version of just the way we play mate?

That Declan Rice second yellow is amazing. What an idiot.

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Originally Posted by niko_cee

Are Southampton going to be this season's version of just the way we play mate?

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Absolutely

Gonna go down with about 20 points but top 3 in possession. 60+ again today :D

The seethe will be strong tonight.

Beverton. :harold:

Fucking inject it. That stadium will melt down.

That’s some effort

:lol:

Gateshead 2-1 Eastleigh. Top of the league with a 90 minute winner. 3rd placed Barnet are next.

That Everton result is fucking perfect.

Looking at the highlights, they just completely folded. Mad to see a Dyche side do that.

Watching Everton with my blue nose in-laws was pretty amusing.

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McGinn had a fun day.

Mason Greenwood. 5 goals in his first 3 games in Ligue 1. Oooft.

How many rapes?

Funny seeing the Arsenal fans on Twitter absolutely seething over the Declan Rice red card.

Also enjoyed Arsenal dropping points and Man City not keeping a clean sheet, for FPL purposes.

It's when they post a still image of a perceived injustice againsr an Arsenal player, juxtaposed with a still image of a completely different player from another team in a different match which they perceive went unpunished. Exactly the same seam of thinking as the #twotierkier people but if you put this to the gunner massive they would shriek their faces off.

It was a bit of a joke really. Did he even kick the ball away as he was taken down?

Watching the clip of both his cards. Both were harsh but the second one, i cant stop laughing.

Rice kicked the ball first, then got taken down. He kicked the ball because he knew he predicted he was going to get kicked.

I still believe, most of these issues can be resolved if they stop the clock when the whistle blows abd just play 25 minutes each way.

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Originally Posted by randomlegend

That Declan Rice second yellow is amazing. What an idiot.

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I think this is the correct take.

The Pedro one in the first half that’s being compared is a totally different situation from memory. He’s over run the ball and in frustration booted it away. You see this multiple times a weekend. Sometimes the ref books the player, sometimes they don’t. It’s just petulance rather than an intent to hinder/cheat.

For rice, he was booked for a late tackle and despite knowing that has taken a chance. Best case, giving him the benefit of the doubt, he is unaware veltman is coming and just knocks the ball off the pitch. However it looks more sinister than that, it looks like he knows a quick one is coming and wants to hinder the restart. That should be a booking. That’s intent to cheat, irrelevant if he kicks it ten inches or ten yards.

Either way, you’re on a booking and controlling the game - why take that gamble? And the output is players are now being taught and trained to deceive and cheat. This scenario is probably the perfect cover of it both ways. Who was veltman passing to? Nobody… he took a chance that rice was going to block him.

Two players and teams trying to deceive, rice just on the wrong end.

All the talk of violent conduct and rice getting booted is just lazy. An air shot because he kicked the ball away.

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Originally Posted by Foe

An air shot

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:ae:

Rice got booted and a yellow card which is what he deserved really.

Though I'd have booked both as both are effectively trying to cheat the ref into a cheap yellow card.

I think Veltman deserved a yellow too.

He knew what he was doing.

Both deserved a yellow but the ref was poor all game, he was booed off at half time. There were a lot of hard tackles Brighton made with no action but then yellows thrown out early doors for Arsenal. Definitely feels like there is a 'let it flow' instruction that's going to see someone badly injured before Christmas.

That said Arsenal should have been 3-0 up at half time so only themselves to blame.

Is the new thing now not to disturb the FLOW OF THE GAME?

I look forward to several penalties in the game at Old Trafford later then.

Waff and Jim thrilled.

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Got a fiver on him to emulate Haaland and get a hat trick. I have all the faith in the world

And fivers to burn

Nine years? Seems a bit short termist. What will we do in 2034-35?

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Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd

Nine years? Seems a bit short termist. What will we do in 2034-35?

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You'll extend him again in a year, don't worry mate.