Christmas 2015

[Mazuuurk]

No, that's on Twitter. This is the live posting.

We had ours opened during the past week as we weren't spending Christmas together. But, like Lee/Ian said above, if I want something I buy it and she's the same so we would be difficult to buy for.

Wow thanks for clearing that up buddy, I was pretty sure I was in fact on Twitter right there.

#confused #squats&shots #fucker

[-james-]

The red Lindt chocolate balls are out. Now we're talking.

[Magic]

I'll bring out the 'it might be her last Christmas' line if it looks to be swaying towards coming back to mine.

Apparently their mum and dad are really teary just now so most of groundwork is done.

[Lewis]

The Hackney Colliery Band are on, and it's just hipsters. You can't just call yourselves a colliery band you cunts.

[Giggles]

Wow thanks for clearing that up buddy, I was pretty sure I was in fact on Twitter right there.

#confused #squats&shots #fucker

No problems. I thought you were confused when I seen your question.

[Weaver]

Merry Christmas, boys.

[P_3]

Happy Christmas chaps. All the best wishes to all of you and yours. Much love. :)

[Shindig]

Heading over to my folks in about 20 minutes. Proper food.

[Ian]

Our ops manager came in with a bottle of bubbles and made us a breakfast of scrambled eggs (with the microwave) and smoked salmon.

He's also gone home but made it absolutely clear that he doesn't care if we have a little drink as long as we're not being idiots. I won't, but I chuckled.

[Lee]

Going to Lauren's mum and dad's now to say happy birthday to her old man, to my mum and dad's for dinner after that and then to her brother's for loads of food. Some cracking shits will be had off the back of today's feasting. The only downside to today is the gay nephew running about being a twat this evening, but I can't really moan given it's his house so I'll just have to have a long slient seethe. Might see if I get the opportunity to trip him over or something.

[Magic]

Is he actually gay or just an annoying three year old?

#points

[Giggles]

I've a post quote. What did you delete Scouse?

[ScousePig]

I've a post quote. What did you delete Scouse?

I was just asking whether a Bora with a black bonnet would correlate with Superdry clothing. I looked through some of the Superdry t-shirts plastered with writing and concluded it might.

[Giggles]

I was just asking whether a Bora with a black bonnet would correlate with Superdry clothing. I looked through some of the Superdry t-shirts plastered with writing and concluded it might.

That is true. It's nice that it's the first quote in ages that isn't calling me a cunt.

Christmas :wub:

[Kikó]

The turkey is ready for four which hopefully will be excellent. Then Christmas films and more eating. It's a good day when you have to do nothing but eat.

[Giggles]

It's all on course for half one here.

[Byron]

We're heading out for lunch, as we can't be arsed to cook. 3 course lunch, all the trimmings and a couple of pints to wash it all down with :drool:

[Boydy]

Go on, Magic. Blow it all up today. Bring the entire farce crashing down.
:D

I'll be keeping tuned to this thread just for this.

I was going to get the dog a bone and wrap up for him as he loves ripping shit apart but I forgot. I feel bad. :(

I'd asked for a new coat as I needed one. My folks picked out a really nice one so I'm happy with that. They also got me some aftershave, some sweets, some tracky bottoms, some Jamesons and gave me 100 quid. I really didn't need that much. I'd have been happy with just the coat.

Also a Mrs Brown's Boys mug. I hate Mrs Brown's Boys but I haven't the heart to tell them. They think it's hilarious.

[igor_balis]

Got my Xmas with the family survival pack - whisky miniature, nicotine gum, cocodemol and gaviscon. Fucking bring it.

[Foe]

Christmas dinner is imminent :drool:

This Xmas has been brilliant, got a banging frying pan and slow cooker amongst other things. Also going to liberate a coffee machine my sister got but doesn't want.

Roll on the turkey. Enjoy, gents.

[Lee]

Less than half an hour to dinner :drool:

[ScousePig]

That is true. It's nice that it's the first quote in ages that isn't calling me a cunt.

Christmas :wub:

You're not a cunt :wub:

[ScousePig]

9.00pm for our Christmas 'dinner' :moop:

We've had to have a switcharound with my mum working late. Presents opened this morning and late dinner (usually it's presents late afternoon and meal early evening).

[Ian]

We'll be eating pretty much once I'm in the door. Too many people at my sister's for a sit-down so she's doing a Christmas buffet. I think it's basically all the same stuff but in a form where people can spread out to eat it.

Currently being paid to sit in a beanbag drinking wine.

[ScousePig]

:D

I'll be keeping tuned to this thread just for this.

I was going to get the dog a bone and wrap up for him as he loves ripping shit apart but I forgot. I feel bad. :(

I'd asked for a new coat as I needed one. My folks picked out a really nice one so I'm happy with that. They also got me some aftershave, some sweets, some tracky bottoms, some Jamesons and gave me 100 quid. I really didn't need that much. I'd have been happy with just the coat.

Also a Mrs Brown's Boys mug. I hate Mrs Brown's Boys but I haven't the heart to tell them. They think it's hilarious.

I got a mug that says 'I'm not anti-social, I'm anti-stupid'. My new staff room mug, I think.

[John]

Less than two hours it took you to break, Ian. Very well done.

[Magic]

Ill sister is a no show. That means everyone back to mine. Fuck.

[Giggles]

Dinner done. I think I'm blind.

[Cord]

No dinner yet, I'm very much in the 'parade around in the rubbish new clothes you intend never to wear again to give the appearance of liking them' stage of the day. This happens every year and I spend most of the day with some sort of awful guilt feeling because of it.

I don't even have the dog as a convenient excuse to bugger off outside a lot this year, so this is going to be a real chore. On the plus side I have a massive tub of Haribo. I didn't even know such a thing existed.

[Boydy]

What happened the dog? :(

[Manc]

Two glasses of red, two bucks fizz and an Irish coffee. I'm fucked and it's not even 2pm.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What happened the dog? :(

Too many kicks to the face.

[John]

If the cooking was on course to be done for half one then you've eaten the lot by twenty past it's no wonder. You've probably given yourself a parasite.

[simon]

No dinner yet, I'm very much in the 'parade around in the rubbish new clothes you intend never to wear again to give the appearance of liking them' stage of the day.

:D

I do this.

[igor_balis]

Mum insisted on BBC radio 6 music and has made everyone, inc' my puritanical grandmother neck large glasses of champagne as she cooks the dinner. My mum :cool:

[igor_balis]

Oh and sambo uncle got my nan, my aunt and my mum the three most disgusting handbags I've ever seen. Their pretend enthusiasm was very admirable.

[mugbull]

Czech tradition means dinner is always on the 24th and presents on the 25th, which is always preferable i think. I fucked up on the presents though. Got my sister and my Dad something, but totally forgot a present for my Mom. That's a wrap. Fuck me.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's you written out of the will...

[Pepe]

Travelling back home today in a few hours. Only 40 minutes between connections which has me a bit worried.

Mother is still confused with hew new activity tracker. Thinking it might not have been the best idea, although now she's asking around if anyone wants to go for a walk with her.

[phonics]

Who doesn't buy a present for their Mum? You're a fucking monster mok.

[mugbull]

I goofed big time, but 1 of the 3 presents i got was a bottle of shampoo straight from the bathroom so i don't feel as bad as i would otherwise

[Boydy]

Christmas Top of the Pops on now. There's some right weirdos in the crowd.

[Magic]

Mum insisted on BBC radio 6 music and has made everyone, inc' my puritanical grandmother neck large glasses of champagne as she cooks the dinner. My mum :cool:

She sounds like a babe.

[Giggles]

If the cooking was on course to be done for half one then you've eaten the lot by twenty past it's no wonder. You've probably given yourself a parasite.

Are you talking to me? Use the quote feature you thick.

[Giggles]

Just flicked onto Top of the Pops there. When did Chris Martin decide he was 18 and become a whole different type of a pox.

[Boydy]

Jess Glynne :wub:

[Pepe]

Who doesn't buy a present for their Mum? You're a fucking monster mok.

First year I buy one to mine.

[Shindig]

Mine's a bugger to shop for. No hints. No nothing.

[Giggles]

First time hearing that NHS song too. I get the meaning and charity aspect but it's fairly limp wristed shit. Could have been a much stronger rendition.

[Sam]

Utterly drunk. 7 pints at the pub, time for dinner, love this time of year.

[ScousePig]

Any way to get a security tag off a spirit bottle? My mum bought my sister a bottle of gin in a box, and of course nobody to check (or remove) the tag. I don't think we have a strong enough magnet.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Any way to get a security tag off a spirit bottle? My mum bought my sister a bottle of gin in a box, and of course nobody to check (or remove) the tag. I don't think we have a strong enough magnet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqBkLXo-j94

[Angelsaint]

I know Christmas is all about giving but... Bitch please!

I bought the latest dab radio and got some knives and a knives holder.
I bought a fancy pansy head light and a fashion reflex vest(yes it does exist and it's expensive as fuck) , I got the near supermarket pants pijamas.

List go on...


What the fuck?

[Lewis]

What did you get your kids?

[Angelsaint]

We went to spend the Christmas in the brother of one of the mothers and my car did not had enough space for gifts. Luckily none of them wished a pony or they would get it. I obviously complained about the amount of gifts, someone called them privileged... I call spoiled brats.

Christmas is literally getting out of hands.

[phonics]

Any way to get a security tag off a spirit bottle? My mum bought my sister a bottle of gin in a box, and of course nobody to check (or remove) the tag. I don't think we have a strong enough magnet.

Yeah. Right. Sure.

[ScousePig]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqBkLXo-j94

I watched that earlier. It's a different type of tag. You could probably saw it but it might be best just leaving it and taking it to a shop.

[ScousePig]

Mine's a bugger to shop for. No hints. No nothing.

No hints would equal no present from me, but fortunately all my family know it. I bought my mum a pestle and mortar. It appears to be the most pointless thing ever, but then I don't cook much.

[ScousePig]

Yeah. Right. Sure.

How do you usually do it?

[simon]

Fairly merry. Managed to come second in the family game of Scrabble which has left me reeling. My Dad won and he's even gone on Facebook to boast of his victory. :(

[Lee]

Fucking hell I've got to her brother's and she's brought a load of presents for the gay nephew I had no idea about. She can bollocks moaning about her Christmas bonus being gone now. He's not our kid for fuck's sake.

And because they're from 'Auntie Lauren and Uncle Lee' the little shit will think I like him and demand interaction. I hope he falls over and grazes a knee.

EDIT: Lol, he's getting bollocked by both parents as I type.

[Spoonsky]

My parents didn't get anything for me this year, which is fair enough really because they've gotten a lot for me throughout the year, but it's still a bit of a bummer not to open anything on Christmas. If they had told me earlier I would have bought myself some books or something.

Christmas is always pretty lonely for me since I'm never with my friends and my grandparents, the only other family we're with, actually don't believe in it to the extent that they never let my mom celebrate it growing up.

[Boydy]

You an only child, Spoon?

[igor_balis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFlFbob1JVM

Hope everyone is having a lovely day. xxxx

[Pepe]

I also got fuck all but there was nothing I really needed so it's all good. Have only 40 minutes to make a connection, hope i don't miss it.traveling sucks.

[Spoonsky]

You an only child, Spoon?

Of course.

[Lee]

This little fucker is doing my head in now, he needs to shut the fuck up. I dislike him as much as any adult. Which I know makes me a bad person, or at least mentally deficient, but I don't care.

[Boydy]

Of course.
Me too. :(

[Kikó]

At least home alone is on.

[mugbull]

Aren't you a Jew?

[Pepe]

Mormon

[Magic]

Jesus Christ if ever there was an argument for having more kids. Even in an unhappy marriage.

[Boydy]

Me or Spoon or both?

Being an only child is fucking bollocks though. Definitely have more. At least they'll have siblings to talk to about how much you fucked them up with the divorce when they're older rather than just deal with that shit on their own.

[igor_balis]

Sure you'll all be amazed to hear I'm an only child too.

[Magic]

Me or Spoon or both?

Being an only child is fucking bollocks though. Definitely have more. At least they'll have siblings to talk to about how much you fucked them up with the divorce when they're older rather than just deal with that shit on their own.

Both definitely. Well I don't talk to my sister alot my parent's shit.

I don't talk to her at all, actually.

[leedsrevolution]

Merry Christmas you cunts.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Wrapping paper and gift bags with glitter all over them are a cancer on this time of year. The shit gets everywhere.

[ScousePig]

Aye, but be thankful you don't have a load of kids. Glitter + 30 children = total carnage. Why primary schools stock it I'll never know.

[simon]

Toy Story is so fucking good.

[Baz]

Got a crossbow for Christmas.

[Lee]

Aye, but be thankful you don't have a load of kids. Glitter + 30 children = total carnage.

Inviting Gary round for Christmas was a bit much.

[Lee]

Toy Story is so fucking good.

Eastenders isn't.

[Magic]

Aye, but be thankful you don't have a load of kids. Glitter + 30 children = total carnage. Why primary school's stock it I'll never know.

Lol.

Everyone gone now.

Masterchef binge resumed. :drool:

[phonics]

Gogglesprogs was surprisingly good.

[ScousePig]

Inviting Gary round for Christmas was a bit much.

Wahey.

[Giggles]

Gogglesprogs was surprisingly good.

It's like they deliberately tried to make Gogglebox worse using the universal method of snotty brats.

[Sam]

I'm dreading the time I actually have to spend christmas with the missus.

Ready for round two of the dinner.

:happycry:

[Manc]

A scarf, brolly and watch from the mother. Think I've finally made it lads.

[Spoonsky]

Accidentally guilted my parents into wrapping up a book and some candy and giving them to me. The thing about being an only child is that they always go to lengths like this for me, even when I don't always want them to.

[Shindig]

A scarf, brolly and watch from the mother. Think I've finally made it lads.

Did you give her Adele tickets as well?

[igor_balis]

Just had some cheese (brie and wensleydale with cranberries) and crackers, and one of my mum's quality home-made mince pies. Now I'm going to drink port until I pass out.

[Davgooner]

Quotes of the day:


She sounds like a babe.


Aren't you a Jew?


Got a crossbow for Christmas.

[Giggles]

Quotes of the day:

Get that on the Twitter account.

[igor_balis]

Magic, can you get a divorce and marry my mum? I think you might be the father figure I always needed. Bring the sprog with you, then I'll stop being an only child freak as well.

[Boydy]

Do you really want to get molested by him?

[Lewis]

I crushed my friends in my first ever game of Cards Against Humanity (which is shit). Perfect record.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My brother got me a portable coffee mug with a built in cafetiere. I got him a bottle of whisky. Not sure who the winners and losers are from that.

My sister got me a book that I've already read, and my parents got me a jumper and some socks. Not a single Korean joke present this year so I think they have realised the brutal truth.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Aye, but be thankful you don't have a load of kids. Glitter + 30 children = total carnage. Why primary schools stock it I'll never know.

Indeed.

Those few days I spent volunteering the other year had me coming home absolutely covered in glitter.

Today my Mum bought glittery crackers which were placed on plates, I had to clean mine before piling on a mountain of food.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The good thing to come out of the glittery crackers was a hat that I could wear without it tearing (Christmas always makes me feel like Toby :(), although it was touch and go.

Oh and I discovered the very worst joke:

Why did the germ cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide...

[Reg]

Cos it's like 'side'. :cool:

[Dark Soldier]

My mam bought me a tit shaped stress ball, the fuck love :ae:

[Giggles]

Just had to fill a bucket to get the shitter flushed :cool:

[Lee]

I did a massive dump yesterday. Definitely more to come today as well. I feel like shit from all the rubbish I've eaten. My body is used to the healthy stuff now and it's pissed off with me for polluting it. The scales say 3lbs on. It won't be real weight as it's nigh on impossible to pile that much on over a few days, but still. I'm chucking a load out today.

[Ian]

Went to bed thinking I was dying of bacon's final revenge. Woke up famished.

Let's fucking have it, Boxing Day.

[Baz]

Actually did get a [toy] crossbow. Fires pretty impressively. Last year he got me a belting nerf gun too.

Not sure whether it'll get used after Christmas Day, mind you, but that doesn't matter.

[Giggles]

Seen a photo of a queue of hundreds taken outside a Next in Dublin this morning at around 3am. Pillocks.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Boxing Day is arguably better than Christmas Day, because of bubble and squeak.

[phonics]

My Easyjet boss called me up in an absolute state yesterday asking me to work. I pointed out that he could see my name was on the flight manifest for flying in at 7pm and got silence and then "shit...." And hung up.

Sounds like he had a great Christmas.

In present news my Mum got me the same knitted tie that I'm never going to wear twice. So that'll be some return money.

[simon]

And football.

[Lee]

Changed my mind about ending the feast after looking in the fridge. Fuck it, it's Boxing Day.

[Manc]

Did you give her Adele tickets as well?

Just the album.

I won charades at a canter last night. Storming the book category as usual.

[-james-]

Hangover of the year today. Oh dear oh dear

[mo]

Crushed everyone at the Logo game, as usual. Father in law was pissed up and being irritating as hell, which wound my mum up. All very tedious.

[Sam]

The feast is over, I feel stuffed still :|.

[John]

My aunt outdid herself on the dinner yesterday. Somehow found a way to make the pig in a blanket even better, by cooking them in worcester sauce and maple syrup. Absolutely glorious, and I blagged about twenty in a doggy bag to bring home.

Highlight of the night was all of us putting on a load of fake beards and frightening the shit out of the neighbours. It's a bloke who lives with his wife and three daughters, and I reckon his screams were the loudest.

Off out for lunch in about an hour, then more drinks for the late game. :drool:

[phonics]

I'm going to need another 5 Christmas dinners. Weighed myself on the step uncles scales he got for Christmas. 9 stone / 57 kilos. Christ. I'm 6 foot.

[Manc]

Those scales are wrong.

[Lee]

I'm going to need another 5 Christmas dinners. Weighed myself on the step uncles scales he got for Christmas. 9 stone / 57 kilos. Christ. I'm 6 foot.

Fucking hell are you dying?

[Max Power]

I've been eating cheese since 10am. Might continue for some hours still, more cricket and football to come :drool:

[phonics]

Fucking hell are you dying?

Nah, I'm just mad gaunt. I've had to come to the realization this Christmas that I can't buy anything larger than a small.

I've also been so poor the past couple months that I only got to eat a meal of spaghetti and pesto once every 2 or 3 days so maybe I'm coming out of that and will reach the heady heights of 65 kilos by next year.

[John]

Fucking hell, Phonics. We'd have done a whipround for you. You're basically starving to death.

[Byron]

Yeah that's nuts Phonics. You've been living off 2-3 meals a week. :|

[Boydy]

What happened to the super generous Swiss benefits system?

Also, don't your folks live in Switzerland? Couldn't you just move home for a bit until you find a job again or something?

[Byron]

Also Day 3 of the neighbors blasting music. We think they've got family round and it now totals about 19 hours of drum and bass so far. If it wasn't for the fact that we're going down to see family for a week tomorrow I'd have stuck some speakers through their letterbox and started playing Slayer at full whack.

[phonics]

One time I found five francs on the floor and I bought a loaf of bread me a bottle of Heinz salad dressing. That was a good week.

[phonics]

What happened to the super generous Swiss benefits system?

Also, don't your folks live in Switzerland? Couldn't you just move home for a bit until you find a job again or something?

I fucked up a couple of things admin wise (extended unemployment led to a mental breakdown for a couple weeks) and got sanctioned so didn't get anything for a month and a half. Tied to a year long lease that I couldn't get out of. I'm fine now.

[Boydy]

You could always just get someone else to take over your lease.

[Lee]

Someone visiting our neighbours parked across the exit from our drive last night. I needed to pop out so I asked them to move and they did. I've just looked outside and the cunts have done it again, even though there's loads of room elsewhere. I've knocked the door and there's no answer. Now I'm not going anywhere for a couple of hours but that's fucking outrageous behaviour. I'm going to piss through their letterbox.

[Giggles]

Someone visiting our neighbours parked across the exit from our drive last night. I needed to pop out so I asked them to move and they did. I've just looked outside and the cunts have done it again, even though there's loads of room elsewhere. I've knocked the door and there's no answer. Now I'm not going anywhere for a couple of hours but that's fucking outrageous behaviour. I'm going to piss through their letterbox.

Get it towed.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I ate a good fistful of celebrations and 16 ferrero rochers earlier today and now feel like I might heave.

[mugbull]

Incredible

[Boydy]

16 ferrero rochers? You animal.

[ScousePig]

I remember when I was dying of starvation at 8 and a half stone, and I'm 5'11''.

Sort it out Phonics.

[Lewis]

Stick your leftovers, I went to Pizza Hut today. :cool:

[Boydy]

Did you take Brock?

[Giggles]

It's got me. I'm sick as a plane to Lourdes. Vomiting is in double digits since 5pm.

[Magic]

Another massive argument this morning followed by her bursting in to tears in front of her cunt family just as we were about to leave after being aggressive as fuck in the car telling me to leave and how my income would subsidise her new life. Perfect emotional manipulation that left me looking like a cunt. No recovering that I'm afraid, lads. At least her family think I'm a massive cunt already.

[Lee]

What do you argue about? Do you have specific problems or is it just general festering resentment?

[Magic]

Pathetic shit, small changes to plans etc she knows I hate arguing in front of anyone let alone our child but she revels in it.

[GS]

You need to go to marriage counselling, lad.

[Lee]

If that's happening in front of the kid all the time it has just got to stop mate. That's properly damaging shit. I feel for you. Any chance at all you'd be together if not for your daughter? Or is it having a kid that has made it worse? Not that that would be her fault, but having a kid is just hard.

[Magic]

Feels like I'm flogging a dead horse because the thought without my kid makes me ill. Really ill.

[Waffdon]

I've been drunk since about 17:00 on Eve. What a time to be alive.

Chin up MJ, baybay.

[Foe]

What's the deal? Can she just up and leave and take the kid? Pretty sure if you did that you'd be sanctioned.

Who gets custody in a separation by default? Is it always the mother?

[Magic]

If we split up at least I won't be forced to digest her fucking family and that atrocious cunt Sarah Millican.

[GS]

Go to marriage counselling, at the very least. You can't just let it go on without trying to do something to alleviate the obvious distress it causes you.

[Raoul Duke]

Start secretly recording evidence of her being a thundercunt so if it comes to court stuff you can kick the shit out of her. Also, make sure your finances etc. are properly arranged.

[phonics]

I remember when I was dying of starvation at 8 and a half stone, and I'm 5'11''.

Sort it out Phonics.

Had breakfast for the first time in 3 years the last few days. Think it's caused me to get on a proper diet.

[Foe]

Were you still smoking when you were effectively starving yourself?

[Shindig]

I weighed myself yesterday and was still 8.5 stone. Although being a mid 5-footer, this isn't a problem.

[Giggles]

Raoul knows Magic. What you need now is a good accountant and a good solicitor.

[Foe]

Raoul knows Magic. What you need now is a good accountant and a good solicitor.

Or a really good fake moustache, fast car and selection of sweets.

[John]

Start secretly recording evidence of her being a thundercunt so if it comes to court stuff you can kick the shit out of her. Also, make sure your finances etc. are properly arranged.

:nodd:

Don't just give up on it, Magic. Two separate but happy parents will be better for the kid than the two of you being together but perpetually screaming at eachother, but resolving the issues and making it work should be plan A.

Do as Raoul says to cover yourself, though. Assuming things actually are the way you describe them here, she's almost always unreasonable and emotionally controlling, so some evidence of that won't hurt your case if it all falls apart.

[phonics]

Despite having absolutely no serious relationship experience can I advise against secretly recording your conversations just inc of necessary revenge? Just a quick tip, like.

If I were a lawyer I would instantly point to him being a complete nutter and incapable of raising a child if he's got a tape recorder on the go. That's not even going into the natural disadvantages that the guy would have for owning a penis (if she doesn't lop it off before it gets that far)

edit: My eyebrow is in serious Carlo Ancelotti mode at this entire thing including my post. It really is a weird thing we have going on here isn't it?

[Giggles]

The day he found her 'running off' stash, the wheels should have put into motion to absolutely destroy her.

[Lewis]

'The Pubs' weren't that busy tonight. I figured they would be rammed.

Imagine if TTH was cited in Magic's divorce/custody hearings and we all had to sign a 'He does it for a laugh honest' letter. Would we make the papers?

[Spammer]

Counselling ftw, Magic.

If you think it's completely done for though, then as others have said get your shit in order in relation to making a diary of stuff that's happening. Not just arguments - I mean if there's any proper emotional manipulation or abuse stuff going on. Chat to a solicitor at least, just to know your options there and with custody and CSA and bollocks like that.

[Lewis]

When I was driving myself round the bend at university my friend told me to go to see their counsellors, and I lasted ten minutes before realising I was more intelligent than them and could do a better job of asking myself inane questions. They're passive-aggressive wage-thieves and several levels below seaside fortune tellers.

[Spammer]

As for me, Xmas is a perfect time to remind myself how much I dislike being at home. Emotionally abusive dad (to my mum mostly), mum that puts up with it (and sticks up for him if I pipe up about it, which can be a bit of a headfuck), and a brother and sister who have internalised the whole thing and regard it as completely normal. I figure all I can do is make it clear to my mum that I don't like it and that I don't think she should put up with it. I can't make her stick up for herself/walk out though - obviously only she can do that - so until one of those happens I'm a bit limited really in what I can do, other than organise shit to do with her that brings her up to Leeds and out of the house every few weeks and generally just be there for her. Hope she finds the strength one day, but doubt she will.

On the upside, I've gotten a lot less depressed about it than I usually do. I posted in the Depression thread that I was feeling a bit low but it ain't been half as bad as I've been in previous years. I can also write clearly about what is actually happening instead of it just being a vague feeling in the pit of my stomach, which implies a clarity of thought about it which I've never had when I've posted about it in previous years. Bosh.

[phonics]

'The Pubs' weren't that busy tonight. I figured they would be rammed.

Imagine if TTH was cited in Magic's divorce/custody hearings and we all had to sign a 'He does it for a laugh honest' letter. Would we make the papers?

The Star would probably let us write the article.

[Giggles]

That was one rough night. Definitely not from eating too much shit, I must have picked up some sort of bug.

[Lewis]

http://i66.tinypic.com/34rvblv.png

Magic, lad.

[Baz]

Went out last night. Who goes out on Boxing Day? The answer seems to be every-bloody-everybody. Frickin' rammed everywhere! Even the pub we go to watch the football was heaving. Full of bloody blue noses too.

My two mates only go out for "snogs." So lame yet funny in equal measure.

Also I'm away for New Year - 12 of us going to Barmouth, 6 couples. And now my two mates (I feel like Lewis, saying that. I have more than two friends, but these two are the reliable "up for a night out every weekend" type) have decided they're gonna gatecrash it. I think it was stupid drunken chat but I hope they actually follow through with the plan. Woke up to this text:

New years eve is me and thee going to wales. Youre phoning in sick. We dint follow no crowd. They folliw us ! Its happening we'll give them the brst new year ever whether they like it or not

An then the other one replied with just "Ridic"

:D

Was a good night though, despite me not getting involved in searching out "snogs." Actually that's a lie - one of them tends to send me in first to find out names cos he knows I'll talk to anyone and won't try to steal his next victim.

[Kikó]

It's mad being a teenager. Happy days Baz.

[Mike]

Just had the last of the Christmas dinner left overs my mum sent me home with.

[Foe]

I'm down in Ayrshire and it appears to be full of roasters. What a shit hole.

[Baz]

It's mad being a teenager. Happy days Baz.

Funny you say that, here's a follow up text from the one who said Ridic:

We were chatting at the bar, I asked her how old she was (can't remember what she said), she asked the question back and literally about half a second after I said 28 she lunged straight in. My age genuinely aroused her

:D

Found some pics of them/her on my phone this morning. She's pretty fit. Definitely a respectable "snog."

[Manc]

Boxing night is superb. Couldn't help but get the feeling everybody was about 12.

[Dquincy]

My aunt outdid herself on the dinner yesterday. Somehow found a way to make the pig in a blanket even better, by cooking them in worcester sauce and maple syrup. Absolutely glorious, and I blagged about twenty in a doggy bag to bring home.

Highlight of the night was all of us putting on a load of fake beards and frightening the shit out of the neighbours. It's a bloke who lives with his wife and three daughters, and I reckon his screams were the loudest.

Off out for lunch in about an hour, then more drinks for the late game. :drool:

That's a Jamie Oliver classic.

[Dquincy]

Nah, I'm just mad gaunt. I've had to come to the realization this Christmas that I can't buy anything larger than a small.

I've also been so poor the past couple months that I only got to eat a meal of spaghetti and pesto once every 2 or 3 days so maybe I'm coming out of that and will reach the heady heights of 65 kilos by next year.

:(

Why were you so poor? What's your job?

[Dquincy]

Feels like I'm flogging a dead horse because the thought without my kid makes me ill. Really ill.

Feel for you, never an easy time. But it's always good to talk about it rather than leave it festering. I remember when i posted on here when i was splitting up with my fiance 5 years ago. it helped a lot.

[Giggles]

Fucking hell was that 5 years ago?

[Dquincy]

Fucking hell was that 5 years ago?

Yep, probably closer to 4 1/2 yrs. But doesn't time fly.

I know a lot of us write some nonsense on here at times, but when a member is in a genuine bad situation i think people generally always step up.

Basically, the majority of people on here are genuinely nice people. :thbup:

[Giggles]

Yep, probably closer to 4 1/2 yrs. But doesn't time fly.

I know a lot of us write some nonsense on here at times, but when a member is in a genuine bad situation i think people generally always step up.

Basically, the majority of people on here are genuinely nice people. :thbup:

I think that was more the case 4-5 years ago, it's very cuntish here these days. But yeah, I can't get over how long that was. Seems like it was 18 months.

[Kikó]

The people here are just the same. You've just gone soft.

[Giggles]

I'd like to think I'm even more of a cunt now too.

[Lee]

My body is very angry with me. I've had three massive shits today and I reckon there will be more to come. My stomach really hurts. I've enjoyed stuffing my face but I don't think I could have taken much more.

[Baz]

Found some pics of her on my phone this morning. She's pretty fit. Definitely a respectable "snog."http://i.imgur.com/U82kMaS.jpg

[Shindig]

Those knuckles.

[Mike]

Took my tree down today. Starting Christmas in work on the 1st means I've had all the Christmas I want!

[Lewis]

I've posted before about how my oldest friend is an atrocious drunk who tries too hard and talks utter shit really loudly, but tonight I realised that that is the 'real him' as far as the rest of the world is concerned. I've known him forever, so our conversation (which I tend to dominate as far as direction goes) is largely based on shared perspectives and references that a lot of the time only we get. When anybody else is around he has to be this other geezer (himself) to BE SOCIABLE and rub along with people; where as I tend to speak to most people as if they should get it.

Interesting (and too self-aware for the Autism List), even if it does suggest his 'lol let's go to a gay bar' stuff is a serious concern.

[ScousePig]

Is this acting as the New Year thread?

Not going to London anymore. I invited the girl I'm dating and she was gonna come down but it meant her coming back from her parents early, spending one night at home and then putting the cat in the cattery for another two nights. We would have had to share a blow up bed in my sister's living room too, and we didn't have any plans except a house party so we've sacked it off. I'm just going round to hers instead.

[Lee]

I fucking hate this bit of the festive season. Christmas songs don't sound christmas-sy any longer and proper consideration is being given to taking the decorations down at the weekend which just leaves the house looking shit. But then keeping them up any longer marks you out as a potential paedo.

I love Christmas time. Dunno why, I don't really get presents any longer. It just 'feels' nice. It's not as good as my summer holidays but letting go of it is still shit. I'm basically a manchild.

[Boydy]

Yeah, I hate this time too. I saw some Christmassy advert on TV earlier and just thought 'fuck off'. New Year isn't even anything I've ever looked forward to either. And I'm working it tomorrow night (as I did last year) so it'll be awful. I like the build-up and actual Christmas and Boxing Day but after that it's just shit.

[Lee]

Yeah, I hate this time too. I saw some Christmassy advert on TV earlier and just thought 'fuck off'. New Year isn't even anything I've ever looked forward to either. And I'm working it tomorrow night (as I did last year) so it'll be awful. I like the build-up and actual Christmas and Boxing Day but after that it's just shit.

Yep. I'm into it from early December (I'm a proper Scrooge any sooner than that, mind) and enjoy feasting and drinking for the three days from Christmas Eve onwards but after that it feels a bit empty. New Year's is bollocks unfortunately. Christmas comes too early in the winter, I recion. We've still got three months until we notice it getting any lighter in the evening and there's ages of it pissing down to cope with yet before anything worth looking forward to appears on the horizon.

[mugbull]

New Years is pretty fun, but it's a different kind of fun. As much as I hate being home you tend to forget you have a family otherwise so it's kind of necessary.

[Magic]

The wife wanted to take the trees down before New Year, I rightly told her to go and rub herself. I'll cite that as a reason for divorce.

[Lewis]

The tree is still up (until later today), but the rest of it has been binned and/or put away. Other than the gym being closed today and tomorrow (twat), it's back to normal. Fuck off Christmas. Get lost 2015, you shithouse.

[Raoul Duke]

Xmas lasts from 1/12 -> 26/12. Anything related to it after that (that isn't discount selection boxes) can do one. I've got my eye on these massive metre-odd long Galaxy bars in Tesco that are £8 but I reckon they'll drop soon :drool:

[Giggles]

I landed back in Dublin yesterday. Was all over then :(

New years means fuck all but me and her always have a nice night in for it.

[ScousePig]

Yep. I'm into it from early December (I'm a proper Scrooge any sooner than that, mind) and enjoy feasting and drinking for the three days from Christmas Eve onwards but after that it feels a bit empty. New Year's is bollocks unfortunately. Christmas comes too early in the winter, I recion. We've still got three months until we notice it getting any lighter in the evening and there's ages of it pissing down to cope with yet before anything worth looking forward to appears on the horizon.

Being in school means we're 'fortunate' enough to 'enjoy' Christmas throughout December. I reckon without that this one would have passed me by; I've had a cold for the past fortnight, I didn't really see a great deal of my family for various reasons (mainly the weather) and now I'm staying up here for NYE rather than going down to London. That could be nice though, as I usually don't care at all for New Year but I'm seeing the girl I've been, well seeing, and stopping over at hers.

[Sam]

Back to the same old shit grind. Albeit I might be shooting myself in the foot, meant to be in tomorrow but fucked it off, luckily those in office won't care.

[Spoonsky]

My friend got a real Christmas tree and threw out the stolen one a few weeks ago. Gutted.

[mugbull]

Isn't it great how this time of day it's literally only ever me, you, and Pepe on the board? Mert too I guess now that he's back.