Football for the month of February, 2022

[Ian]

Well, somehow another month has passed so the window has wheezed shut, the weird international break is coming to a close and Frank 'Super Frank' Lampard is BACK.

Will he be shit? Does anybody care? How long will it be until the Goodison Seethe recommences if in fact his appointment has stopped it at all?

Also this month:
- United probably doing something idiotic in the absence of Cunto Greenwood rather than just, say, giving Sancho a load of games.
- European football is BACK
- Christian Eriksen is also BACK
- Newcastle unleash their exciting oil money signings on the league. But are they on TARGETT to escape relegation? (:henn0rz:)

And speaking of Greenwood: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-60202000

Manchester United footballer Mason Greenwood has been further arrested on suspicion of sexual assault and making threats to kill.

Lovely fella.

[Lewis]

Video game developer EA Sports said the forward had been removed from FIFA products. A statement said Greenwood had been removed from active squads in FIFA 22 and also suspended from appearing in FIFA Ultimate Team packs and Ultimate Draft.

lol

[Ian]

I'm sure they'll give all the people who got him out of paid-for packs their money back.

[Manc]

Australia firmly on the ropes.

[Shindig]

- Newcastle unleash their exciting oil money signings on the league. But are they on TARGETT to escape relegation? (:henn0rz:)


I WOOD hope so.

[Lewis]

I'm sure they'll give all the people who got him out of paid-for packs their money back.

They can trade them in for Marcos Alonso.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Moving on to rapists at the opposite end of their custodial career, this Raith Rovers / David Goodwillie stuff is quality. The culture war finally descends on Kirkcaldy.

[Ian]

I went to Kirkcaldy (at least a decade or so after I first came up to Scotland) and had more than one conversation with people where I genuinely only picked up about 30% of what they were saying to me. Incomprehensible.

[Ben]

lol

I saw someone post one of those Ultimate Teams in the FIFA thread the other week and it had Mendy in?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It was probably Ferland Mendy.

Benjamin the rapist does have a card in the game but they were made unpullable a while ago. Those who pulled Benjamin Mendy and Greenwood prior to their removal will still have those cards on their account.

Greenwood's card has also shot up in price because the FIFA community are weird. Same thing happens when a player dies.

[Waffdon]

Moving on to rapists at the opposite end of their custodial career, this Raith Rovers / David Goodwillie stuff is quality. The culture war finally descends on Kirkcaldy.

I just don’t understand why they’re all kicking up fuss now when he’s been Clyde’s club captain for the past two years

[Ben]

Raith's main sponsor made a song and dance and pulled the plug.

[Browning]

Raith’s club statement is a thing of beauty.

[Kikó]

Avram Grope.
1488624140013735938?t=M1S9gUjMtvDFaP-yNaJ1Nw&s=19

[niko_cee]

Hadn't he been accused/convicted of some sort of misfeasance in the dim and distant?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I remember a paper photographed him going to some manky brothel in Portsmouth, and his wife said 'Yeah, why shouldn't he?' One of the great marriages, that.

[phonics]

Great story of his time at West Ham was that he was constantly sleeping at work, to the point he moved his office to the second floor so there'd be less people bothering him and the players would boot balls at his window when they knew he was sleeping.

[Baz]

Did this (https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/premier-league/premier-league-footballer-arrested-rape-false-imprisonment-b1722271.html?amp) turn out to be Mendy? Or has Mase been at it a while?

[Queenslander]

Australia firmly on the ropes.

Good. We need a clean out from top to bottom as we have a been getting rapidly worse since Ange was hounded out of the country.

[Luca]

Canada could all-but-mathematically qualify for the World Cup with a win tomorrow against El Salvador. :|

[Kikó]

Did this (https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/premier-league/premier-league-footballer-arrested-rape-false-imprisonment-b1722271.html?amp) turn out to be Mendy? Or has Mase been at it a while?

The rumour was it was greenwood.

[Baz]

The rumour was it was greenwood.
Yeah. I only know cos I searched my text messages for Greenwood and saw I’d made a joke about updating the injuries for a new FM save with Mike and the Reid, I said if we were adding player injuries we should probably put Greenwood in jail. 13th November 2020.

Not surprised she blasted it all over social media, cos clearly just reporting it to the police first time resulted in nothing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

United and GMP will be tight with each other.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The real football happening this month is the FIFA State-Sponsored Murder Club World Cup, brought to you in association with holding the other World Cup every two years.

Tournament Preview
Seven footballing giants assemble in the United Arab Emirates - specifically, the emirate of Abu Dhabi - with the prize at stake being the biggest one in football history: the best team in the world now, and therefore ever.

Referees
Five referees have been dispatched for this gigantic event. French jurist Clement Turpin is Europe's sole representative, and he is joined by Argentina's Fernando Rapallini, Mexico's Cesar Ramos, Australian finance professional Chris Beath, and Algeria's Mustapha Ghorbal.

The Teams
The opening match is between UAE champions Al-Jazira ('Pride of Abu Dhabi') and crack Tahitian outfit AS Pirae ('Ajkule') as they look to earn the right to compete in the final six of this massive, massive event. Al-Jazira have few recognisable names but do boast prolific striker Ali Mabkhout, scorer of 79 international goals for the Emirates. His sharp finishing will surely be too much for the Pacific islands outfit, whose participation in this event must surely be subject to some sort of stewards' enquiry looking at these alleged results from the 20-21 Tahiti league season:

https://i.ibb.co/pKQKT2Q/pirae.jpg (https://ibb.co/QHkHV9k)

The winner of that clash will move on to face Saudi giants Al-Hilal ('the Blue Waves'). Now, the Saudis may have received some bad press over the years when it comes to the basic rights of women, throwing gay people off the top of buildings, and slicing up journalists with bone saws in foreign embassies. However, when it comes to domestic football, they know how to build a Asian CL-winning squad within tight foreign player limits. Former West Brom star Matheus Pereira, Mali hitman Moussa Marega, ex-Watford wide man Andre Carrillo, and ex-Stretford End favourite Odion Ighalo make up a galaxy of stars for the Riyadh-based outfit.

If they win, their semi-final will be against west London side Chelsea ('the Blues'), fierce rivals of the likes of Fulham, QPR and Brentford. They have a bye straight to the semi-finals on 9 February but have only seven minutes of FIFA Club World Cup experience in their squad, all from a late sub appearance by Cesar Azpilicueta in the 2012 edition as then-manager Sir Rafael 'Rafa' Benitez looked to use all the weapons in his devastating attacking arsenal to claw back a 1-0 deficit against Corinthians, something he sadly failed to do. This side therefore lack experience at this level, and could struggle.

On the other side of the draw, three more giants line up. Al-Ahly ('Club of Patriotism') of Cairo are African champions for the four millionth time and are, slightly startlingly, coached by South Africa's Pitso 'Jingles' Mosimane. Jingles is no flash in the pan, however, having taken three African titles in his coaching career. His squad will unfortunately be weakened by the Afcon, so for a semi-final berth you'd have to favour Mexico's Monterrey ('The Striped Ones'), managed by perennial global event favourite Javier Aguirre. Monterrey's front line is a veritable who's who of north London failures, including both Joel Campbell and Vincent Janssen among its options, but their star man is Rogelio Funes Mori, recently naturalised by Mexico.

The final side in contention is Brazil's Palmeiras ('Big Green'). I don't recognise any of their players, but that's my ignorance and they are back to back Libertadores champions so must be alright.

Schedule (all UK time)
Thu 3 Feb: Al-Jazira v Pitae, 4.30pm
Sat 5 Feb: Al-Ahly v Monterrey, 4.30pm
Sun 6 Feb: Al-Hilal v Al-Jazira or Pitae, 4.30pm
Tue 8 Feb: Palmeiras v Al-Ahly or Monterrey, 4.30pm
Wed 9 Feb: Al-Hilal, Al-Jazira or Pitae v Chelsea, 4.30pm, E4
Wed 9 Feb: Fifth place playoff, 1.30pm
Sat 12 Feb: Third place playoff, 1.00pm
Sat 12 Feb: Final, 4.30pm, Channel 4 (if Chelsea qualify)

There may be other matches on E4, I don't know. TBH I didn't know E4 was still a channel.

[John Arne]

Vietnam beat China 3-1 in World Cup Qualifying last night. Lol at China.

https://gyazo.com/8ed64578cd09a22e57b7df61e114b5c9.jpeg

https://gyazo.com/4b2c48ba7704ffbe7d0b198d1d9600db.jpeg

[-james-]

Nicola Sturgeon reckons the SPFL should step in and take action on the David Goodwillie situation. What does she reckon he's been up to for the past five years?

[Mellberg]

The rumour was it was greenwood.

Get raped and battered and they stick a penalty notice on you for a covid breach. What a nation.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What action are the SPFL going to take that doesn't constitute restraint of trade?

[Ben]

Poor Clyde. No one gives a fuck about them.

[Lewis]

They seem to be arresting Greenwood for more than the Twitter stuff covered, so does that mean the lass is going along with it and making what her old man came out with the other day even weirder?

[Ben]

That's one way to look at it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm happy to go along with RL's explanation of the dad's head being in bits, whilst not ruling out my more cynical one of him being in mourning for the gravy train.

[Gray Fox]

Old forrin waster out at West Brom. Bruce ball returns!

[Ben]

Big fan of the image BBC have used.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60149753

[Mellberg]

Old forrin waster out at West Brom. Bruce ball returns!

Might as well complete the Ron Saunders hattrick.

Saunders was the ultimate agent. Won Villa the European Cup and relegated Blues and West Brom. Hero.

[Gray Fox]

Roy Keane linked to taking back over at Sunderland. I hope they get his dog some Bonio.

[Shindig]

Steve.
Bruce.

[Giggles]

Keane hates all players too much to ever be a manager.

[Kikó]

Steve.
Bruce.

Good manager.

[Ian]

Yeah but WOULD YOU WANT HIM AT UNITED, KIKO? EH?

Mark Noble.

[Manc]

Is he good enough for United though?

Get fucked, Ian.

[Manc]

African keepers never fail to deliver. :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mental decision from Koffi.

[Kikó]

Why YOU NOT TALKNG Bout ASian cup???

[Ian]

Get fucked, Ian.

:loser:

[Gray Fox]

Did you not see Vietnams historic win for fucks sake?

[Waffdon]

These Japanese lot aren’t half bad for Celtic. Rangers back in the mud :drool:

[-james-]

:drool:

Fair play they've absolutely nailed THE REBUILD.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What was that Burkina Faso player doing there?

[Queenslander]

Has anyone got a link to the Celtic game they'd like to share?

[-james-]

Try hesgoal.

[Queenslander]

Thank you

[Don]

RL won't be twerking for his useless African midget tonight. This Jap cunt has just opened the way for a steady stream of Jap imports into SPL and possibly English football now. Fs.

[Shindig]

"And Scotland made their first World Cup in 40 years courtesy of Kensuke Okizaki's first-half hat-trick."

A brave new future.

[Queenslander]

These Japanese lot aren’t half bad for Celtic. Rangers back in the mud :drool:

The J League is a serious league these days unlike the shit house A League.

[Don]

What the fuck are Ekoku and Onuoha doing on this punditry gig? They look and behave like educated people, was Lenny Henry busy or something?

[Shindig]

Sir Lenny Henry is always busy.

[Don]

1488834914577436674

[Lewis]

The awkward embrace, the mask gesture/look at the camera, 'What's going on?' is pure David Brent.

[Shindig]

It's reported that Steve Bruce is among the candidates interviewed by West Bromwich Albion for the vacant manager's job at The Hawthorns.

:drool:

[phonics]

What the fuck are Ekoku and Onuoha doing on this punditry gig? They look and behave like educated people, was Lenny Henry busy or something?

Onuoha is genuinely one of the best in the game imo. Talks about the sport like a real person.

[Don]

IIRC he was academically gifted at A-level age. If he works on his over-exaggerated emotional reactions he could have a future on Minstrel of the Day.

[Lewis]

Nigerian. I bet he hates Micah Richards.

[Ben]

He was on Undr The Cosh podcast and said they were practically best mates growing up.

[Shindig]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60240754

I think that edges out a cold night in Stoke.

[Ian]

Playing in Minnesota at this time of year has to have been a plan to dick with Honduras, whatever the fella says about travel times from Canada.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Berhalter quotes suggest so, although why you'd make special Machiavelian plans to fuck over Honduras I'm not quite sure.

I was wondering why I'd never heard of Canada's English manager: career path of New Zealand women, Canada women, Canada men probably explains why.

[Shindig]

He must be a bit annoyed the Sunderland job's come up.

[Ben]

Yep, they moved this game and the El Salvador game to northern cities to gain an advantage.

[Reg]

Onuoha is genuinely one of the best in the game imo. Talks about the sport like a real person.
He's been good on Football Weekly a couple times - interesting and has genuinely novel things to add. Initially thought he was a bit up himself, but maybe it's just something about his voice. I like his stories about past games and he pokes fun at himself a fair bit.

--
edit-

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60240754

I think that edges out a cold night in Stoke.
Great quote from Craig Burley: "This is one more piece of the pathetic jigsaw."

[Don]

Wonder where Goodwillie goes here. I assume there will be some heroic club willing to offer him something in England given Ched Evans was before he was, I think, found innocent but times have changed a fair bit since. Probably needs to go abroad.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He can join that lower tier Spanish club who want to gang rape a woman for some team building.

[Jimmy Floyd]

She's gone in with a ridiculously pompous statement demanding everyone resign. These people are, rapists aside, the worst.

[Luca]

I suggest you all go watch Canada’s opener from last night’s 2-0 win over El Salvador. It truly was bonkers. Mute the horrible Canadian commentary.

[Ben]

Dear me. :D

[Ian]

https://youtu.be/A6pQrSMNKCQ?t=136

Yeah that's a bit mad.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Absolute WORLDIE.

[Luca]

And yes, that is nearly 39 year old Atiba Hutchinson busting a gut from holding midfield to get his, er, head on the end of that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Carlos Quieroz is absolutely SEETHING.

[Don]

My Sunday league is a better standard than this, no exaggeration.

[Manc]

Senegal will wipe the floor with both these sides. Get your mortgage on it.

[Lewis]

I love Carlos Queiroz. Top five United signing of the past twenty years.

[Manc]

The Egyptian keeper is taped up to high heaven. I doubt he'll be able to move.

[Luca]

That slow, ponderous run up is so silly.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cameroon bottling it hard.

[Luca]

Salah going last or second last is such small-time mentality.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a shit penalty to end it.

[niko_cee]

The state of that last penalty.

:D

[Shindig]

What absolutely tragic penalties. :D

[Lewis]

That is the new worst penalty ever.

[Ian]

That's up there with the worst set of penalties I've ever seen which is some going as an England fan.

That lad who took the last one wants to just retire from ever shooting again.


Salah going last or second last is such small-time mentality.

Hiding at the end, Ronaldo style, hoping that if you have to kick at all it's to get all the glory.

[niko_cee]

Salah going last or second last is such small-time mentality.

It clearly runs against modern stats wankery, which gives it appeal.

I understand the argument against it, but, when it goes to number 5 and you've got Bukayo Saka as your man of the moment you sort of wish either you had Harry Kane on it or you hadn't made it that far anyway.

[Baz]

Where’s the mixer gg video of this shite penalty, Mahow?

[Gray Fox]

Watch the whole shootout, they were all shite.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Where’s the mixer gg video of this shite penalty, Mahow?

How about ALL the penalties.

https://mixture.gg/v/61fc2501bad81

[Don]

The king partnership was always going far. God I miss that man so much.

I'm on for £2k if these cunts go all the way, mon.

[Don]

Nedum's just said 'recency bias' on a live television punditry gig. I'd give him a rimjob :cry:

[phonics]

That commentator just brought a wave of Nostalgia over me. Was the commentator on the french version of FIFA 2004. Hasn’t changed a beat.

[Jimmy Floyd]

As in many Afcons, the two most thumpingly dull sides have got to the final after much entertainment along the way. Salah 1-0 I reckon.

[-james-]

Four goals in six games plus two extra times is pretty special, even by Quieroz standards.

[Serj]

It clearly runs against modern stats wankery, which gives it appeal.

I understand the argument against it, but, when it goes to number 5 and you've got Bukayo Saka as your man of the moment you sort of wish either you had Harry Kane on it or you hadn't made it that far anyway.

From what I gather it actually follows modern stats wankery to put your best takers in the last spot.

On winning the penalty shoot-out in soccer (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10902675/)

Soccer shoot-outs are highly dependent on strategy, not luck (https://latinamericanpost.com/28787-soccer-shoot-outs-are-highly-dependent-on-strategy-not-luck)

Though I'm not sure if the analysis holds up; I get bored to tears most of the time I try to read up on statistical analysis of football (or anything, really).

[Ian]

1489301351947460622

[Pepe]

They're trying to hoard them for resale. Hold on to them.

[Shindig]

What if another Greenwood takes that number?

[Ian]

"What? No, haha, this is his twin brother, Jason Greenwood."

[Kikó]

Make them into nfts to treble the value.

[Ian]

Still, he might not move but at least he'll put away any chances that come his way.

[Lewis]

Paulp Ogba has been good, so he's either found his level or Madrid have ignored a couple of calls.

[Ian]

This Middlesbrough team look so shit I reckon I could look tidy in this midfield.

(It'll be 1-1 soon now I've said that, presumably.)

[Ben]

Yeah we're not good, just overachieving because Wilderball works in the Championship.

Commentator nailed it actually, just a mash of random players from our last four or five managers. Wilder said straight away it's a long-term job and no-one should expect anything this year, but the fans are getting giddy because we keep nicking last minute wins.

[Luca]

That last paragraph could have been written by a United fan, Ben.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I had no idea we were playing tonight.

Tuned in just to see that hideous Rashford miss.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Ronaldo :lol:

[Ian]

Ronaldo has been shiiiiit so I assume he's going to knock in a meaningless goal in the 93rd minute and celebrate like he's won it himself.

[Lewis]

What?

[Manc]

Tremendous effort from VAR.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What the fuck?

[Waffdon]

That defending :lol:

[Ben]

Yeah even as a Middlesbrough fan that's not a goal :lol:

[Luca]

We fully deserve that, but I have no idea how that wasn’t brought back.

[-james-]

:lol:

[Shindig]

G'wan, smogmonsters.

[Ian]

Yeah even as a Middlesbrough fan that's not a goal :lol:

:D

It was quite something, that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Hoe does he miss that?

Could have even slid it to Ronaldo if they didn't hate each other.

[Waffdon]

Ronaldo is really, really bad.

[Kikó]

Rolph out.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This Middlesbrough team look so shit I reckon I could look tidy in this midfield.

(It'll be 1-1 soon now I've said that, presumably.)

Well in.

[Ian]

It was inevitable.

They are reet pants though and a good team would have stuck a handful past them.

[Ian]

FEC. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We're losing this on penalties.

[Ian]

Hopefully with Ronaldo choosing to go fifth and skying it to cost us.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

FEC must have thought he had won it when that cross/shot slammed against his head.

[Lewis]

That was the first decent penalty.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a penalty by Tavernier.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Second decent penalty.

[Lewis]

Dean Henderson is worse than Dave Gayer at this.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Ronaldo was probably wishing that Bruno missed that.

[Lewis]

He's not even pretending to dive.

[phonics]

Ive been watching on an awful stream this whole time forgetting that I now live in the country where it's on TV.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He's not even pretending to dive.

The one he should have saved rattled him.

[Lewis]

He looks like when an outfield player goes in goal.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I thought Peltier looked a bit nervous before taking that, I had him putting it over.

[Waffdon]

These keepers are beyond awful

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Elanga was always missing that.

[Spikey M]

Lol.

[phonics]

lol.

[Lewis]

That's the season completely written off. Jesus.

[Gray Fox]

Neither keeper would have saved one all night.

[Waffdon]

That was the only way one of these teams was winning lol. Decent penalties but the keepers were making it obvious where they were diving every time

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's the season completely written off. Jesus.

We're winning the Champions League.

[Spikey M]

Ronaldo comforting Elanga when it's his fault it had to goto penalties.

On his birthday.

:happycry:

[Ben]

:rasta:

[Lewis]

There's the first racist message of the evening. Tired.

[Spikey M]

There's the first racist message of the evening. Tired.

1489734478905978880?t=XJRCb_sFu6kjxvqdtzv7Tg&s=19

[Gray Fox]

And Roy Keane said they signed Ronaldo to win the FA Cup.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If O'Fernandes was on the pitch, why did Cristiano take the penalty?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Because Fernandes missed one against Aston Villa and Ronaldo took them off him.

[Kikó]

We really shouldn't be losing with a full strength team against a championship team. We're really fucking bad.

[Shindig]

For the sake of an inch, you'd have been through. Maybe even 3-1. Hell, that handball call could've gone your way.

[SvN]

Shit result, but on another day we'd have been 4-0 up before 60 minutes.

The poor conditioning of players is clearly an issue. They're knackered by 55 minutes.

[Baz]

1489893318628712454

[Lewis]

Shit result, but on another day we'd have been 4-0 up before 60 minutes.

The poor conditioning of players is clearly an issue. They're knackered by 55 minutes.

They've all been pissing about in Dubai for two weeks. Honest Ralf should have just said look we're a bit shaken by our mate Mason being railroaded by some brass and...

[Kikó]

By brass you mean his long term girlfriend?

You're disdain for women is incel levels.

[Don]

Alan Shearer trying to banter with 'Chappers' and Micah howling to lubricate it all. That's my weekend ruined.

[niko_cee]

Despite that United VAR thing being a clear example of the old [shite] maxim 'these things even themselves out over a season' even applying to VAR, isn't that actually sort of the right decision now? Because he plays it into his own hand, didn't they modify the interpretation after Liverpool had a goal ruled out against Spurs last season for handball in the build-up when Firmino 'thighed' it into his hand? Sure Matt Cash got away with a fairly egregious one soon after when he blocked a goal bound shot with a combination of thigh and arm but because it has leg onto hand it wasn't given? 'Unfortunate' hand contact only now applies to the scorer/the final touch into the goal doesn't it?

[Ian]

Yeah as I understand it VAR got it right it's just the rule that's a bit lol.

I think United fans aren't looking on the bright side here that this means at least one less United game to put up with this season.

[Shindig]

Round of applause for dead child, please.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The lumbering oaf, Diop, has been so costly for West Ham thus far. I swear there must be some agents who just get any old twat from the French second tier and tell Premier League managers it would be a 'smart signing'.

[Spikey M]

Is Benrahma always this shit? He's comfortably the worst player on the pitch. Absolute dog shit.

[niko_cee]

I see this evening's big ticket FA Cup clash has been shunted onto ITV4 [presumably the Masked Singer is too big a pull to move] which seems a bit of an affront to all involved.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Saturday night ITV toilet is not getting moved for anything, how else are they going to convince Birdseye to buy all those ad slots.

[Don]

The lumbering oaf, Diop, has been so costly for West Ham thus far. I swear there must be some agents who just get any old twat from the French second tier and tell Premier League managers it would be a 'smart signing'.

I remember Jose using him as an example to highlight what Man Utd's transfer policy was missing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yarmolenko (wonderfully out of place at Aggborough) with one of the great shit dives there.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Declan Rice is too good.

[Spikey M]

Cunts :(

[niko_cee]

Harsh on Kiddeminster.

Never realised Rice was such a unit. It's something that really seems to show up when players from different levels go up against each other.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've had that on one screen and our truly dreadful attempt to get past Plymouth on the other. Havertz and Werner are back to their Lampardian days and Tuchel doesn't even appear to be at the game, maybe he's been sacked on the quiet.

[Waffdon]

Some crackhead definitely had 1-1 in the 3 games so far

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Some crackhead definitely had 1-1 in the 3 games so far

How much did you win?

[Lewis]

By brass you mean his long term girlfriend?

You're disdain for women is incel levels.

Sorry mate. Shouldn't joke about some things. I'll try to do better.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Marcos Alonso's sweet right foot kills off another victim.

[Spikey M]

Nobody ever mentions all the prostitutes killed in the holocaust...

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Nobody ever mentions all the prostitutes killed in the holocaust...

Marcos Alonso's right foot isn't that old, is it?

[Jimmy Floyd]

That bloke who's just come on for Kiddy looks at least 50.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Only 36 according to Wiki, he's had a hard life.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sarr is a mong.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Kepa :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Shit penalty.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Ugh, fucking West Ham.

[Kikó]

Sorry mate. Shouldn't joke about some things. I'll try to do better.

Needs more Marcus rashford PR.

[John Arne]

Lolz.

1489739122508025856

[Shindig]

Definite intent there. :D

[John Arne]

FA Cup fifth round draw:

https://gyazo.com/9e66ab0d9a038a3c7c2edd811c9d9bda.jpeg

[Jimmy Floyd]

I was going to say I couldn't remember us ever having played Luton, but apparently we beat them 3-1 last year.

Before that it was 1994 in the semi-final, what a year that must have been.

[Manc]

Have City ever had a difficult draw?

[Spikey M]

I was thinking that earlier. I'm sure the cup sponsor is entirely coincidental. /tinfoilhat

[John Arne]

The La Liga thing of blurring the background really does make it look like a computer game at times. Kinda looks nice at times, but weird at others.

https://gyazo.com/0e162d340f756a8fd3ad6934e3404d17.jpeg

[P_3]

Enjoying this Nottingham Forest v Leicester game.

[Reg]

What's going wrong at Leicester this season?

[Giggles]

Didn’t it al go to shite when Brodgers showed he was going to jump ship the first chance he got?

[niko_cee]

Elliot. :cool:

Leicester seem massively up and down this season.

[phonics]

The La Liga thing of blurring the background really does make it look like a computer game at times. Kinda looks nice at times, but weird at others.

https://gyazo.com/0e162d340f756a8fd3ad6934e3404d17.jpeg

It’s an 8k/high frame rate camera. They’ve been using it a lot in the NFL this year.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Awful challenge by the Egyptian defender.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Gabaski :cool:

[Ben]

This ref is a nutcase.

[Gray Fox]

Victor Gomes Dean

[niko_cee]

Mané's mate really not done him a favour by taking an age being 'injured' after winning that penalty.

If you're going to blast it, which is an approach I entirely condone, you have to blast it straight.

[Ben]

I know he's done his fair share of bird, but fuck me, Nile Ranger looks rough.

[niko_cee]

Have City ever had a difficult draw?

Are you kidding? They're seething they haven't got Boreham Wood at home.

That said, all of the bigger teams seem to be getting easy draws this year.

[Lewis]

Kicking every ball with Egypt here. Come on the pyramid boys.

[niko_cee]

If they have their way there won't be much ball kicking for the next 30 minutes or so.

[Ben]

Gabaski is a legend. :cool:

[Spikey M]

I've put the final on despite not bothering with a minute until now. This stadium noise is what I imagine the CIA pipe into the terrorists cells at Guantanamo. :sick:

[Don]

The tension :drool:

[Gray Fox]

I love the commitment on some of these challenges.

[Lewis]

Der der der der... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NA_4MLj1Ukg) Carlos Queiroz

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Gabaski is a don.

[Lewis]

He's nearly had all three the beast.

[phonics]

1490287195856515072

hahahhaha

[niko_cee]

Mendy not looking like he's going to save one here.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That penalty was horseshit.

[niko_cee]

:cool:

Got it. Now Mané has to not implode.

[Lewis]

Salah you fanny.

[niko_cee]

I thought Salah was on 4 for them as the 18 looked like a 10 from range.

[phonics]

Has Salah even taken a penalty as Egypt shit their way to the final?

[Luca]

Salah going last or second last is such small-time mentality.

Like I said.

[niko_cee]

Has Salah even taken a penalty as Egypt shit their way to the final?

Yeah, he took the winning one in the first shoot-out [Ivory Coast?].

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mane should show Salah his winners medal and tell him he'll never manage to get one himself.

[Lewis]

Look what it means to them Taz.

[Don]

:(

Yeah Salah bottled that by not taking all 5. Idiots.

[niko_cee]

It's quite funny how Egypt's penalty strategy is being picked apart, somewhat overlooking their route to the final. Inside of the post guy was very unlucky.

[Jimmy Floyd]

lol, get fucked Egypt.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mane player of the tournament? :cab:

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's quite funny how Egypt's penalty strategy is being picked apart, somewhat overlooking their route to the final. Inside of the post guy was very unlucky.

Their penalties were as fine as anyone else's. A much better strategy for winning tournaments is to score goals, like, ever.

[Don]

Geezer drags 10 camel herders to the AFCON final through the hardest possible route and Jimmy's out here giving heat because he didn't play the scintilating tiki-taka that Senegal played with an all-star European line-up. The closest thing to an elephant washer in that team is Bayern's backup fullback.

[Waffdon]

They won it before with a bunch of duds from their own league didn’t they?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Geezer drags 10 camel herders to the AFCON final through the hardest possible route and Jimmy's out here giving heat because he didn't play the scintilating tiki-taka that Senegal played with an all-star European line-up. The closest thing to an elephant washer in that team is Bayern's backup fullback.

Egypt have been playing the same football for the last 30+ years, it's nothing new. He has one of the world's top 5 players.

[Spoonsky]

Sadio :wub:

Egypt losing on penalties is definitely a fitting end to the tournament.

[Shindig]

Not looking forward to Tuesday. The new manager bounce probably gives Everton more of a boost. And Gateshead got outclassed yesterday. Everyone's bunched back up at the top of the league. :uhoh:

[Mellberg]

Infantino elevating himself to proper evil nut job status recently. I appreciate it. Love to hate these fuckers.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's almost worse than Blatter in terms of how shameless he is about it all.

[Manc]

Hands down the worst refereeing performance ever witnessed in a final.

[Spikey M]

1490459867273994248?t=FSYOHzVPzrL_zHET23brrg&s=19

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cross-border messages? Did he send them from Belgium?

[Shindig]

"Ladies, I'll get you out of this attic. I promise."

[Lewis]

This ought to rule that goal at Old Trafford out.

[Lewis]

Imagine being too much of a creep for the perviest city in the nonciest country. The 'border' he crossed must be species or something.

[Shindig]

He probably just broke Covid laws.

Anyway, I listened to the Mason Greenwood video. He sounds genuinely disabled. It's mad that there's three teams in the Premier League with exiled deviants at the minute.

[Spikey M]

Football is the new BBC.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I love the stories about a RIFT in the United dressing room over the Greenwood stuff. Rangnick must be wondering why he bothered walking into this particular zoo.