Christmas 2021

[Ian]

Merry Christmas, lads.

[Yevrah]

Merry Christmas gents.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Merry Christmas, lids.

[igor_balis]

Last night I went with my family to a Christmas pub quiz (the first time we've ever done this). With one round to go we found ourselves 6 points in the lead. The final round was structured so that there are 6 questions (worth 2 points each) and then a 7th 'Twist' question which is optional to play, but if you do play it and get it wrong, you lose all your points for the round. If you get the 'Twist' right, you get 6 bonus points. You have to decide whether to 'stick' or 'twist' before hearing the question.

So we had the first 6 questions, and only knew 3 of them. I then got into an argument with my brother, who thought we should stick, thus guaranteeing 'at least 2nd prize' as he put it. I said we should twist, because a) we could be beaten if we stuck, and b) it's pub quiz, why be a boring bastard, you have to go for it. Eventually I won the argument and we twisted. The twist question was what is the most-watched Christmas TV broadcast ever. We went for Morecambe and Wise. The answer was Only Fools and Horses. As a result, we lost all our points ended up finishing about 4th or 5th. If we'd stuck, we would have tied for 1st, and then been in a tie break which we would have lost, so we'd have finished 2nd and won about £10.

My brother then started giving me a lecture about game theory all the way home. Who is the cunt, me or him?

He is, but I do sort of get it. I get similarly pathetic self-righteous rage at pub quizzes, but usually at the quizmaster than my teammates.

A recent one I did at some village hall, I correctly remembered the first ever uk number one single (Al Martino's "Here in My Heart"), but i said all my heart or my heart or something, and he didn't even give us half a point, same for being 1 year out for the year mozart was born. FAIR ENOUGH, except he let another team have a point for being about 5 million out for the population of California. Twat.

[igor_balis]

er, by which i mean, yeah, merry christmas lads

[Lewis]

Merry Christmas TTH.

[Lewis]

My finest pub quiz :evictory: was when our team won because we swapped an answer with another lot and I told them the wrong answer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He is, but I do sort of get it. I get similarly pathetic self-righteous rage at pub quizzes, but usually at the quizmaster than my teammates.

A recent one I did at some village hall, I correctly remembered the first ever uk number one single (Al Martino's "Here in My Heart"), but i said all my heart or my heart or something, and he didn't even give us half a point, same for being 1 year out for the year mozart was born. FAIR ENOUGH, except he let another team have a point for being about 5 million out for the population of California. Twat.

I gave a rival team a full mark for claiming that the 1992 Kermit/Caine festive vehicle was called 'Muppets Christmas Tale'. Proper man of the people, me.

On which note, happy winterval.

[igor_balis]

I gave a rival team a full mark for claiming that the 1992 Kermit/Caine festive vehicle was called 'Muppets Christmas Tale'. Proper man of the people, me.

On which note, happy winterval.

You're a hero, I'd have done the same thing. I also almost fell out with a friend cus they couldn't understand why I didn't want them to check an answer on their phone in the toilet. #spiritofthegame

The worst example of badly constructed quiz/game was GET YOUR OWN BACK where they'd do 25 minutes of mad shit, and whoever was winning got to just move their mean potential gunge victim one notch closer, so they started 4 away rather than 5 or something. Bit like Copa America group stage.

[Ian]

Leave Dave Benson Phillips out of this.

[Giggles]

Happy Holidays “mates“.

[Lofty]

Merry Christmas lads.

Yeah we went to one regularly before covid but the wife's friends were all for cheating which I am totally against, even if the team that won every week seemed to be cheating I wanted to win fairly. Once we managed to tie with the cheaters so a tie break was posed: year the MOT was invented, closest answer wins. It was embarassingly obvious that our friends wife had googled it, she gave the correct answer. Hollow victory for me, Clive. The prize was only £20 in beer vouchers for that pub.

[Giggles]

I’d have said 1973 as a complete guess.

[Spikey M]

My guess would be 12 September 1960 under the direction of the-then Minister of Transport, Ernest Marples.

[Foe]

Everytime I've used Stansted it's been terrible. Baggage being the main problem. We waited for nearly 2 hours last time.

We use Gatwick where possible. Unless Southend is an option. Southend is amazing. There's fuck all there. Check in and security take about 45 seconds. Then you grab a pint and you can see your gate and plane from your seat.

The smaller the airport the better it is.

As shit as Shetland is (sorry Toby, RIP) the airport at sumburgh was great. You had to drive across the runway to get there and it was basically just a massive room with a cafe and shop.

[Giggles]

My guess would be 12 September 1960 under the direction of the-then Minister of Transport, Ernest Marples.

Good guess.

[-james-]

Merry Christmas you miserable fucks. :cool:

[Kikó]

Frohe Weihnachten meine Freunde.

Hope you have a good one.

[Baz]

Happy Christmas.

Apologies if you’ve been refreshing since 5:30 expecting another announcement.

[Shindig]

Breaking news: Christmas.

[randomlegend]

Breaking news: Christmas.

Here We Go! Christmas confirmed.

[Boydy]

Merry Christmas all.

[igor_balis]

On my third mimosa, mother has instructed me to put a Fleet Foxes CD on, as she prepares the red cabbage with star anise etc. A middle class cliche wanker of a Christmas so far, but a lovely one nonetheless. Plus we dealt with the extended family yesterday so it's just us and the cat we're babysitting. Love you all dickheads xx

[Shindig]

As soon as I get back from mam and dad's, I'm hitting the drink.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-derbyshire-59610123

Ugh.

[igor_balis]

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-derbyshire-59610123

Ugh.

Good grief. Fetishising the past is annoying enough when it's thick boomers wanking over poppies, but this shit is far worse.

[Shindig]

I feel like the article needs a line for each of them explaining a specific trauma in their life.

[Lewis]

'Dear Hannah,

What does "White Christmas" mean to you? For me...'

[7om]

Happy Christmas lads.

[Mike]

Happy Christmas boys

[Manc]

Merry Christmas, cunts.

Top effort from the lizard Queen.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Looking forward to the King's speech next year.

[Giggles]

My Mother wanted to see what she was saying. She has a house of her own for that shite.

[AyDee]

Merry Christmas, lads.

[Boydy]

My Mother wanted to see what she was saying. She has a house of her own for that shite.

:D

Did you say that to her?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I got given a load of books. I'm so tired I can barely stand up or keep my eyes open. Gone back to bed before lunch later. Just being horizontal with my eyes closed is bliss. I think I might be depressed or maybe it's just been a long year with fuck all holidays. Or maybe it's just age. I don't know.

[Spikey M]

My Mother wanted to see what she was saying. She has a house of her own for that shite.

Why do you have it on Irish TV?

[Giggles]

:D

Did you say that to her?

Of course, among other things. I’d turn the main breaker off before that will ever be on in my house.

[Giggles]

Why do you have it on Irish TV?

Actually that’s a good point, we don’t. And I don’t have bbc like she does so I could have just went with that :D

[Manc]

Dinner put away, on to the whisky.

[Spikey M]

Actually that’s a good point, we don’t. And I don’t have bbc like she does so I could have just went with that :D

I was gonna say. No cunt watches it over here, surely there's no market for it over there.

[Giggles]

I was gonna say. No cunt watches it over here, surely there's no market for it over there.

She’s one of the many Hello magazine readers here that fawn over the royals like they’re celebrities.

[Shindig]

Back after playing monster trucks with a 4 year old. Exhausted.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She’s one of the many Hello magazine readers here that fawn over the royals like they’re celebrities.

She sounds like your nightmare.

[phonics]

You know one of those games where you pick a celebrity out of a hat and someone describes it and you have to get as many as you can in a certain amount of time?

As a gauge of how posh the family is. There were 3 teams and Disraeli appeared in all 3 bowls.

[Lewis]

Every other one was Tim Westwood and they're still pissing themselves.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Overall a good Christmas but I've only just escaped my family with the last 2 hours being rough.

The same Polish songs (which I'm not a fan of already) being sung constantly by tone deaf drunkards...

[Spikey M]

Just got my first ever Double Yolker. A Christmas miracle. :wub:

[Giggles]

I had bought some real nice stuff for a fry this morning but I’m having maoams for breakfast instead.

[Boydy]

Been doing some absolutely rancid farts for the past 24 hours. Having had round 2 of Christmas dinner today, I expect them to continue for at least another day.

[Giggles]

Christmas without rancid farts isn’t Christmas at all.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Having been quite restrained yesterday I'm now pissed to shit. Three beers, two G&Ts, some red wine and a White Russian. Getting gayer as I go, too. Might try and do a tequila sunrise or something next.

[Baz]

My wife was bad with Covid in the run up to Christmas so I was solely in charge of buying all the Christmas presents, including for her family. Spent today with her in-laws and, annoyingly, they’d waited until Boxing Day to open their presents so we could be there when they did. Thankfully I smashed it out the park. Brother in law got some jack cables he’d given a brief description of so I sought advice online and got him some, along with this sweatshirt (https://alternatephotographicarchives.bigcartel.com/product/the-people-s-princess-sweatshirt); mother in law got a jumper I randomly chosen, some chocolates and a pestle and mortar cos she wanted one; and gave my father in law my old firestick with a cheap IPTV sub on and the black Everton shirt cos he’s always banging on about how good the “black watch” is. Nailed it.

My mother in law also got me some banana bread beer and rhubarb beer. After very little persuasion I had the former while I was there and it was well nice. Overall, a surprisingly good day at the in-laws which is very rare. Mainly cos we got to watch 2 football matches and not a documentary about the war on Blaze or VH1 Classics. The worst part about that is her dad inexplicably leaves the TV guide on and sits and watches whatever’s on in the tiny box in the corner. Sheer madness. He even tried it with the IPTV football but I politely said er Paul, press that button again to make it full screen. Too far gone with the TV channels though, he’s been doing it the 14 years I’ve known him. This was also him:

1211276430971158528

1211276682490826752

[Boydy]

Christmas without rancid farts isn’t Christmas at all.

1475235977723478017

[phonics]

1475007225752166402

[igor_balis]

Found a DHL Sainsbury's work pass fob thingy, found the girl (fit) on FB and now I'm gonna go walk to her house and deliver it.

She was like "ooh thank you , what can I do in exchange?"

:eyemouth:

Obviously my answer was nothing, don't worry! She's Hungarian, so I can just show off my excellent pronunciation of köszönöm, and she will ask me on a date without me having to explicitly request it as my prize, anyway.

[Don]

Not a clue what parts of that story have and haven't occured yet but linkage please. Hungarians :drool:

[Dquincy]

Found a DHL Sainsbury's work pass fob thingy, found the girl (fit) on FB and now I'm gonna go walk to her house and deliver it.

She was like "ooh thank you , what can I do in exchange?"

:eyemouth:

Obviously my answer was nothing, don't worry! She's Hungarian, so I can just show off my excellent pronunciation of köszönöm, and she will ask me on a date without me having to explicitly request it as my prize, anyway.

Excellent work. Hope you've hid the body somewhere isolated.

[Baz]

Not a clue what parts of that story have and haven't occured yet but linkage please. Hungarians :drool:

Yes

[Manc]

Definitely happened.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Definitely happened.

You not believing a story from Igor? I'm stunned.

[Waffdon]

It’s 13c for some reason. Tempted to wear shorts when we go out later but I’ll probably get killed by the missus

[Don]

It's been about 15C here for a few days. It's plummeting back again come Tuesday just in time for the working week. Apparently we've had 40% less sunlight this month than average which definitely checks out. Utterly grim.

[igor_balis]

Definitely happened.

It did but obviously no romance blossomed. Just awkwardly handed her the lanyard. I did send some frankly embarrassing patter afterwards about how she can message me if she needs any more good deeds doing and she was like : ) : ) you are so kind, but I think the correct response is to leave the poor woman alone and not take it as a prompt to ask if she wants to go for a pint. Sad.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She's already sent the messages on to the police.

[Lewis]

'Trust me.'

[Lofty]

She's already sent the messages on to the police.

They need new methods after Couzens got caught to be fair.

[Shindig]

It it results in some bodycam footage of Igor being read his rights in a dull living room, it'll all be worth it. Maybe he'll throw in a wacky cover story involving financial difficulties and a van.