Christmas 2021

[Lewis]

It is December once again, and, having mourned the dog, we can now turn our attention to Christmas. For previous threads see:

Christmas 2015 (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?446-Christmas-2015) (Christmas of Chaos)
Christmas 2016 (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?1357-Christmas-2016) (Make Christmas Great Again)
Christmas 2017 (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?1953-Christmas-2017) (Christmas means Christmas)
Christmas 2018 (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?2334-Christmas-2018) (#PeoplesChristmas)
Christmas 2019 (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?2567-Christmas-2019) (Get Christmas Done)
Christmas 2020 (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?2809-Christmas-2020) (Stolen Christmas)

2020 was regarded by some as the shittest Christmas in ages (mine was alright), and a fitting end to a wank year. This year we are going to Build Back Christmas and do normal things without noncey masks. What have you all got planned?

[Panda Bear]

My wife and I plan to hole up in Vancouver without visiting any family. We can't leave the dog behind at a daycare because she's way too anxious (our vet informs us that she's one of their most anxious clients ever :cool:), so we would have to fly or drive to visit family. We can't fly because the dog wouldn't be able to handle it and could literally die from extreme stress, and we can't drive because (a) driving through the Rockies in winter is extremely dangerous, and (b) the entire province has flooded so severely that all the highways to the mountains are either underwater or fell into the earth.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-59352803.amp

https://www.vmcdn.ca/f/files/via/images/weather/whatcom_road_interchange.jpg;w=800;h=600;mode=crop

This is a couple weeks old, but more has happened since.

We are also still required by law to wear noncey masks indoors.

[7om]

I’ve completed all my Christmas shopping, which must be a record for me.

[Ian]

I'm expecting it to be some level of downer depending on how my dad is as he'll be right in the middle of his treatment but we'll see.

Hopefully we can get my parents out for a bit but I imagine pretty early they'll be ready to go and get parked in the house in front of the TV. I still love Christmas day so hopefully we'll all have as good a day as possible and I'll still be full to the scuppers and merrily tipsy.

As the opposite of Tom I still have all my shopping to do bar one thing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Rumblings that my family are thinking of doing Secret Santa this year.

I only buy presents for my Sister, my Mum and 2/3 nephews/nieces depending on who comes. Other than my Mum they're all fairly easy to buy for (although I have no idea what to buy my Sister this year), I would not have any fucking idea what to buy for anyone else in the family so I'm hoping the idea gets fucked.

[Baz]

I’ve completed all my Christmas shopping, which must be a record for me.

Same, I think. Just gotta find time to wrap it all now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Get Christmas Done was the best recent Christmas. I am utterly unprepared for it as always. It always turns into melancholy reflection and wishing it was summer.

This is the first one since my sister's marriage broke down, so either it will be cathartic or it will be awful. Anyway, here are my top ten things about Christmas.

1. The moment when you leave the office/get in your car/log off for the last time before Christmas, and have no further outside obligations before festivities begin. My father calls this 'declaring Christmas'. It's like all your Fridays come at once. As a retired man he gets to declare Christmas a lot earlier than I do, but it doesn't really matter when the declaration is, it's just as good.
2. Cheese.
3. The feeling when you do something non-Christmassy again for the first time - say, seeing a friend on the 27th or 28th - and experience this sensation of renewal and the idea that another year is stretching out in front of you like a great blank canvas. This feeling tends to have dissipated by about the 3rd of January, but it's great while it lasts.
4. The quiet knowledge, throughout Christmas Day, that pretty much everyone you know is really enjoying themselves somewhere.
5. Mary Poppins coming on the telly.
6. The instrumental outro to Fairytale of New York (from about 3.27 onwards). This evokes Christmas even better than the bits with words. It runs in my head throughout.
7. Descants in carols.
8. The feeling of pine needles on your bare feet. It's nice just to feel something, sometimes.
9. The massive crossword in the paper that eats up all the dull time.
10. Bubble and squeak with brown sauce.

[Pepe]

I will be going to France, but I am flying back, alone, on the 24th. So on Christmas I will do nothing. We are having 'Christmas' on the 16th with my wife's family. I look forward to eating without having to talk to anyone thanks to the language barrier.

[phonics]

This will be the first christmas in years that I've been unemployed but also due to a mixture of not having to pay rent/no longer doing cocaine, I will have money to do Christmas things on.

[Lofty]

Last year I had two weeks off which is unprecedented for me so really felt like declaring Christmas as Jimmy says.

This year I will be holding the fort between Christmas and New Year I suspect. Going to my in laws on the main day then back to Barrow on Boxing day. Panda's Christmas sounds better, Pepe's maybe the best.

[Giggles]

I haven't got a thing yet, not even ordered the turkey and ham. Still renovating the living room for it too and setbacks mean I probably haven't a hope.

[Kikó]

We can't travel due to the imminent arrival of the bairn so hopefully the brother and sister in law can visit from Switzerland. That should make Christmas relatively nice. I'm just massively looking forward to not having work for a week and not having anything related to my MBA looming over me as it'll finally be submitted.

A few friends are passing through Frankfurt before as well as it should be a pretty pleasant time (covid permitting).

[Ian]

As far as time off goes I'm in right until the 24th then off until the 4th, though with a few (hopefully quiet) days on-call from New Year.

I was hoping to know one way or the other about the new job sooner so I could give myself a gap and extend the Christmas holiday but no such luck.

[Boydy]

Friday 17th is my last day of work until the 4th Jan. :drool:

[Manc]

Jimmy out here in Narnia.

[Raoul Duke]

I've got a couple of weeks off - 1 week in Belgium with the wife's family and the other here in Amsterdam. Shame the Dutch are so stingy with national holidays though :nono:

[niko_cee]

Is Christmas Eve the day after Christmas in Holland?

[Spikey M]

:D

[Raoul Duke]

That's Christmas Schteve

[Giggles]

8.5kg turkey and 3.5kg ham ordered this morning from the butchers. That’s one of the main jobs done, now to renovate a living room.

[Reg]

8.5kg turkey
A what, sorry? Will it have its own bedroom?

Started to feel the first real glimpses of Christmassyness yesterday, so will start shopping and maybe put the tree up today.

[Giggles]

I always find you need to be going above 6 for the best flavour. Plus we always do dinner the 26th too and turkey in some other form on the 27th as well.

[Don]

Gammons gotta gammon.

[Giggles]

Gammons gotta gammon.

Actually went for a centre cut this year, though had he horseshoe I’d have gone that road.

What sides do you have with your live rat in the cave network?

[Baz]

Giggles is all talk. Makes it sounds like he’s serving out chicken legs and mead to all of Ireland, then posts his Christmas Dinner on the day and it looks like Jamie Oliver’s childrens portions.

[Giggles]

Mine wouldn’t warrant a photo on Christmas Day, it’s normally just about as much as I can possibly fit on a plate. Unless the in-laws are over, then you’ve to posh it up and leave the vegetables half raw.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Giggles is all talk. Makes it sounds like he’s serving out chicken legs and mead to all of Ireland, then posts his Christmas Dinner on the day and it looks like Jamie Oliver’s childrens portions.

But with less veg.

[Giggles]

But with less veg.

Less shit talk than Oliver’s kids have to listen to at least.

3 veg for me this year (not counting 2 types of spuds). Bacon sprouts, honey mustard parsnips, and marrowfat peas.

[Baz]

I’ve started wrapping.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1467197523127422979

[Mellberg]

You could take the gun off every single one and just give them a massive slap.

[Baz]

After a Christmas playlist? Got you covered, lads: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1sLqFlkHtKaczFPxYUrlSl?si=9e330b7b46d549f6

[ItalAussie]

Merry Christmas, all! Looks like I'll be able to get to Brisbane for Christmas. It's been a long year.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Rumblings that my family are thinking of doing Secret Santa this year.

I only buy presents for my Sister, my Mum and 2/3 nephews/nieces depending on who comes. Other than my Mum they're all fairly easy to buy for (although I have no idea what to buy my Sister this year), I would not have any fucking idea what to buy for anyone else in the family so I'm hoping the idea gets fucked.

Secret Santa has gone ahead. It took many fucking draws because people kept getting their own name (I got mine 3 or 4 times) but I've been fairly lucky in the name I got. It's a cousin who I think is pretty easy to buy for.

[Shindig]

Went to Newcastle to get a couple of things today. The grill tower at the Christmas market is a piss-take. Alongside all the standard log cabins, there's a fuck-off monolith to Bratwurst.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Today I have a Christmas lunch and, later, a Christmas dinner. The menus are thus:

Lunch:
Panko-breaded brie served with an autumnal chutney
Maple-glazed rotisserie pork belly with a pulled pork & cider bonbon, roasted celeriac & Braeburn apple purée, Dauphinoise potatoes, a Bordelaise sauce, roast parsnips & carrots, pan-fried sprouts & green beans
Apple & blackberry crumble topped with a Demerara sugar crumb, served with stem ginger ice cream or vanilla custard

Dinner:
Duo of melon served with Parma ham, garnished with micro herbs and balsamic gel
St George's Hill honey-roasted lamb noisettes with a butternut squash and potato dauphinoise, beetroot purée, parsley butter glazed carrots accompanied with a garlic and rosemary jus
Tarte au citron served with a strawberry sorbet and raspberry caviar
A selection of cheeses

I've skipped breakfast, but that feels like wearing safety googles to jump into a volcano.

[Ian]

How long between meals?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lunch is at 1 and dinner probably about 8, so long enough for a couple of snacks to keep me going.

[niko_cee]

Some classic starters there.

[Boydy]

Lunch sounds better than dinner but they both sound very good.

[Spikey M]

I have 2 problems.

1) Autumnal Chutney. What the fuck is that? Meaningless shite.

2) Raspberry Caviar. Do raspberries lay eggs? No? Fuck off then.

Please provide this feedback to the respective restaurants on my behalf.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I didn't know the people of Southend-on-Sea were so particular about their caviar.

[niko_cee]

I really hope, rather that some 'spherified' gel shite, that they've just picked the raspberries apart into their constituent tiny balls.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lunch sounds better than dinner but they both sound very good.

Lunch will be better, as it's in a pub, whereas dinner is a crusty old golf club nightmare with loads of old people and consequent social dead ends. It's at this time that knowing loads about old sport comes in handy at last.

'So, John Snow, eh? What a bowler.' *20 minutes elapse as old man dribbles onto blazer*

[Spikey M]

I didn't know the people of Southend-on-Sea were so particular about their caviar.

I live in the Essex Countryside with the retired gangsters, tyvm.

[Giggles]

Lunch is the winner there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I live in the Essex Countryside with the retired gangsters, tyvm.

While you're here, can you give me a write up on 'Hadleigh & Thundersley'? They gazumped me at the 11th hour to sign a good Australian player yesterday and I want to know if the money comes from gypsy blood deals or 20th century bank robberies.

[Spikey M]

While you're here, can you give me a write up on 'Hadleigh & Thundersley'? They gazumped me at the 11th hour to sign a good Australian player yesterday and I want to know if the money comes from gypsy blood deals or 20th century bank robberies.

They're all pensioners round that way, so it will probably be the proceeds of the 7 houses they each own.

[Baz]

How was it, Jimmy?

I’ve used up the wrapping paper and now I feel like I’m wasting time when I could be getting presents wrapped. I’ve ordered some more recycled stuff but tempted to just go the corner shop and pick up a few rolls of the cheap stuff.

[Giggles]

I can’t find bread sauce anywhere.

[Boydy]

I can’t find bread sauce anywhere.

Make your own?

[Giggles]

We’ve had the Knorr one for the last 20+ years so it wouldn’t be the same. It’s added faff too. I’d say I’ll get it somewhere before the day.

[Jimmy Floyd]

How was it, Jimmy?

One of the speakers told a set piece gag based on the idea of black men having big dicks. There was nowhere to run.

[-james-]

I'm in Bristol visiting friends and family this weekend. Accidentally walked through the Christmas market in the middle of town earlier, absolute hellscape.

[-james-]

Also saw a man that appeared to be stumbling home from a night out at about 9am, only he had a freshly stapled skull and was covered in blood. As a resident of the bushy suburbs of Glasgow this was deeply shocking.

[Kikó]

This thread reminds me I need to figure out what bird to buy and how to cook roast potatoes.

[Spikey M]

Put a generous amount of oil (or goose fat) on a baking tray. Put in oven. 200c / gas mark 6.

Put peeled, chopped potatoes in saucepan. Cover with water, add salt. Bring to boil, simmer for 5 minutes. Drain. Put potatoes back in pan, put lid on. Shake / bash about until potatoes are fluffy on outside.

Empty onto baking tray, turn them to coat in oil / fat, back in the oven, turn every now and then, Bob's your uncle.

[Giggles]

Soak them for a couple of hours in water mixed with half a cup of salt beforehand too and then wash the starchy water off.

[Boydy]

Trying to do my shopping online now. God, I hate trying to think of gifts for people.

[Kikó]

Legends.

[Ian]

Decided to stick some Christmas music on while doing a bit of shopping online as I'm well behind.

First Pogues listen of the year. :cool:

[phonics]

Decided to stick some Christmas music on while doing a bit of shopping online as I'm well behind.

First Pogues listen of the year. :cool:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKWYNkOZAjE

:rave:

[Giggles]

Has that not been cancelled?

Edit - The Pogues.

[Ian]

What, because it's got the word faggot in it? I think whenever the row happens about it they pretty much shrug rather than wading into the "I CAN USE WHATEVER WORDS I LIKE, SNOWFLAKE" side of the argument.

And whoever runs their twitter telling Laurence Fox to fuck off probably won them some further credit.

[Giggles]

I'm pretty sure the radio stations here stopped playing it last year, or some of them did and the rest bleep it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There was a fella on Masterchef Professionals the other night cooking faggots, and every time he said it I felt the forces of woke rattling their sabres inside me. Faggots faggots faggots faggots. Then Marcus Wareing would say faggots, then Monica would say faggots, then Jay Rayner would say faggots, it was like a sudden outbreak of all the 'faggot's that haven't been said on all the channels throughout the year, condensed into a three-minute spell on Masterchef.

Surprised they haven't been renamed Lamb Spheres or something.

[Spikey M]

They get away with it because they argue that the couple in the song are meant to be a couple of scum bags and the homophobia is part of that.

I mean, there are clearly ABSOLUTELY NO SIMILARITIES between the artist(s) and the subject matter of the song, so it seems a fair defence.

[Ian]

There was a fella on Masterchef Professionals the other night cooking faggots, and every time he said it I felt the forces of woke rattling their sabres inside me. Faggots faggots faggots faggots. Then Marcus Wareing would say faggots, then Monica would say faggots, then Jay Rayner would say faggots, it was like a sudden outbreak of all the 'faggot's that haven't been said on all the channels throughout the year, condensed into a three-minute spell on Masterchef.

Surprised they haven't been renamed Lamb Spheres or something.

Yes I was the same. Aren't they just a meatball+ anyway?

[Giggles]

Offal meatballs.

[Kikó]

I've never tried them to opine.

[SvN]

Cheap Mr Brains Faggots are one of my guilty pleasures. They're absolutely delicious.

[Ian]

I've never tried them, one thing that my parents ate when I was little that I seemingly turned my nose up at because they always did them with mushy peas and the whole affair smelled to high heaven.

[Spikey M]

I have a craving for a meatloaf now. Don't think I've had one for about 20 years.

[Giggles]

A meatloaf is magic. I think you've just found my day 3 turkey dish.

[Ian]

Never had that either.

[Waffdon]

There was a fella on Masterchef Professionals the other night cooking faggots, and every time he said it I felt the forces of woke rattling their sabres inside me. Faggots faggots faggots faggots. Then Marcus Wareing would say faggots, then Monica would say faggots, then Jay Rayner would say faggots, it was like a sudden outbreak of all the 'faggot's that haven't been said on all the channels throughout the year, condensed into a three-minute spell on Masterchef.

Surprised they haven't been renamed Lamb Spheres or something.

:D

Absolute farce if Liam doesn’t win.

[Giggles]

I think it's the only show I miss since I stopped getting BBC.

[Boydy]

I didn't think anyone on this side of the Atlantic actually ate meatloaf.

[Shindig]

My mam used to whip that up occasionally. I'm not that big into it.

[SincereTheRebel]

Ive just realised that the lamp ive had on my table for about six months. When i turn it on and turn off the main lights. Given the time of year, fits right in with the festive spirit.




https://i.ibb.co/fXp1k6y/IMG-20211214-184711.jpg (https://ibb.co/L0tkxjc)
https://i.ibb.co/rdJCmTP/IMG-20211214-184938.jpg (https://ibb.co/nPSHbZ2)
anonymous image hosting (https://imgbb.com/)

[ScousePig]

And that's your tree sorted.

It's my last day of isolation tomorrow, and I've managed to pretty much avoid all Christmas related things up until now. It's going to be odd going in to work on Thursday straight into the nativity play.

[Lofty]

Cheap Mr Brains Faggots are one of my guilty pleasures. They're absolutely delicious.

They are inferior to the proper butchers ones by miles. I only started having them due to my west country wife introducing me to them, now we regularly have them brought up as they are impossible to obtain up here. The closest I have seen are savoury ducks which are alright, but a couple of faggots with mash, peas and gravy are top tier eating.

[Shindig]

I don't like them. They just feel like poor imitations of meatballs.

[Andy]

Put a generous amount of oil (or goose fat) on a baking tray. Put in oven. 200c / gas mark 6.

Put peeled, chopped potatoes in saucepan. Cover with water, add salt. Bring to boil, simmer for 5 minutes. Drain. Put potatoes back in pan, put lid on. Shake / bash about until potatoes are fluffy on outside.

Empty onto baking tray, turn them to coat in oil / fat, back in the oven, turn every now and then, Bob's your uncle.

Beef dripping is the best fat choice by far. So much more flavour than goose fat. Can buy it on Amazon now with plenty of time for Christmas. You can thank me later.

[Kikó]

🤤

First Christmas dinner we're doing this year so need to set a good precedent.

[SvN]

They are inferior to the proper butchers ones by miles. I only started having them due to my west country wife introducing me to them, now we regularly have them brought up as they are impossible to obtain up here. The closest I have seen are savoury ducks which are alright, but a couple of faggots with mash, peas and gravy are top tier eating.

I've had "proper" ones and they're basically just meatballs, and way too firm. I want my faggots to turn to mush when I touch them.

[Lofty]

The weren't cooked properly and were crap then, the real deal ones are far above a meatball.

[Manc]

I want my faggots to turn to mush when I touch them.

Have you considered a career in politics?

[Baz]

My wife went to bed early so I've just spent ten minutes searching around the house for the bloody elf. I can only presume she's done something with it already because I can't find it.

First thing we hear in the morning is I can't wait to see what Twinkle's done so it's already out of hand.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Hopefully she's binned it.

[Baz]

Hopefully she's binned it.

Nah. It's not one of those paedo looking cheapo elf on the shelf shite. It's a decent elf teddy (https://www.jellycat.com/leffy-elf-lef2e/) so when he stops getting upto mischief, he's a nice toy to have around.

[igor_balis]

I'm 30. Fucking hell.

[Boydy]

Time to sort your life out.

[igor_balis]

No way butthead

[SincereTheRebel]

I'm 30. Fucking hell.

It only gets better from here lad.

[Manc]

I'm 30. Fucking hell.

How did your parents tackle the birthday being in close proximity to Christmas? I grew up with a lad who was born on the day and they gave him two sets worth. Severely underperforming in life last I checked.

[Spikey M]

I once worked with a girl that was born on Christmas Eve. She had a small birthday then, and a propper one in June. "like the Queen I am hahahaha", she'd say. I hated that bint.

[Lewis]

I'm 30. Fucking hell.

If it's any consolation you look a lot older.

[Offshore Toon]

Yeah, I'd have guessed a few years older than me (33-35 bracket) but mostly because I associate awkward quirkiness with that indie era of the mid-noughties.

[SincereTheRebel]

I dont see any benefit in looking younger as a man. That's a benefit for the chicks and it's a slim benefit.

[Yevrah]

It's one of those things everyone who doesn't have it wants, but when you actually do it's not that great if a positive at all.

[Lofty]

How did your parents tackle the birthday being in close proximity to Christmas? I grew up with a lad who was born on the day and they gave him two sets worth. Severely underperforming in life last I checked.

I knew a lad the same, except his parents didn't make much of a fuss by all accounts. He was a bit of a prick but still in our friendship group. He was a massive stoner and weirdly homophobic, so one year we hatched a plan and on the day we had a party at my mate's (happened most years). We presented him with a wrapped box. He opened it, the box was a PS4 box. He was made up. Inside the box was not a PS4, it was a bong in the shape of a cock, throbbing veins lovingly scultped etc. He didn't appreciate the joke. Last I checked he was convicted for assualting a neighbour.

Edit: Oh yeah and cyber stalking a girl we know who turned down his sexual advances, sending her abusive messages from sock puppet accounts.

[igor_balis]

Yeah, I'd have guessed a few years older than me (33-35 bracket) but mostly because I associate awkward quirkiness with that indie era of the mid-noughties.

I'm not awkward or quirky you cunt, but I was fully entrenched in that nme wank 2003-2007ish. I thought the libertines were the best band in the world, what a retard.

[Lofty]

At least you didn't drive two hours to see them wearing a Libertines jacket, one of my mates did.

[igor_balis]

How did your parents tackle the birthday being in close proximity to Christmas? I grew up with a lad who was born on the day and they gave him two sets worth. Severely underperforming in life last I checked.

It wasn't too bad really, cus there was just about enough time in between. Only child (duh) and single parents, and with Xmas basically being for kids anyway I just got to have two days in 8 days that felt like magical Igor days, except with the latter I had to deal with my mad cunt Alzheimer's ridden Polski grandfather shouting about Jews and that.

As I've gotten older I actually like where my birthday is, it feels more like having my birthday during the festive period makes it extra class rather than Christmas encroaching on it. Id probably feel differently if it was any closer though.

[igor_balis]

At least you didn't drive two hours to see them wearing a Libertines jacket, one of my mates did.

Yeah but I did take part in this


https://youtu.be/JU1HdVMnSuI

Which is probz worse

[Spikey M]

Yeah Offy, you cunt.

[Offshore Toon]

:D

[igor_balis]

I'm cool now, promise

[SincereTheRebel]

Im off work until January now. :cool:
We had an invasion of women staff over the past year and we played secret Santa for the first time. I got a Yankee candle, and a pack of m&ms from a chick colleague. Better than I expected. I can use my gift. I got someone a hat shaped like a burger because they eat McDonald's every lunch.

[Boydy]

Yeah but I did take part in this


https://youtu.be/JU1HdVMnSuI

Which is probz worse
:lol:

[Spikey M]

The reviews are in.


moonhowlz - 13 years ago

amazing. excluding the depressing emo girl. god she looks horrible. the rest are awesome, though!!

[Offshore Toon]

Were you actually mates with the guy playing Gary or did you have to pay him?

[Lofty]

I did wonder that myself :D

[Boydy]

Just logged off until 4th January. :drool:

[igor_balis]

Were you actually mates with the guy playing Gary or did you have to pay him?

https://scontent-lcy1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.18169-9/1927624_116020210383_9077_n.jpg?_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=de6eea&_nc_ohc=xsAw5scuEpYAX87_1z4&_nc_ht=scontent-lcy1-1.xx&oh=00_AT8n9QiMJ5IbVbkG4UPgK6Mklm59OeiqLY6eQaPU3d5K tg&oe=61E1131B
that's ~ 15 years before

https://scontent-lcy1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/266636158_624470868694411_3311719431787050802_n.pn g?_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=ae9488&_nc_ohc=Mdu7nxu8eRUAX9zEYrx&_nc_ht=scontent-lcy1-1.xx&oh=03_AVLAWSSXEfH0oVCV6e9iW0_q15C2gT8gbqLDuEQ5rZwm Aw&oe=61E22729

here he is ~10 years later with SincereTheRebel , he's given up drums and is bald now

[mo]

My birthday is the 28th. Think my mum went to great lengths every year to make sure I had separate presents, which I really appreciated because as a kid after the 'Christmas comedown' it was fucking great to think there was only three more days until more presents.

Birthday parties were always in January though, which was shit. Loved going to the cinema but there was always cock-all on at that time, it's better now obvs. But I do think it's contributed to me not really giving a shit about birthdays (mine and others).

[mo]

Also finished today until the 4th. Already dozed off on the sofa twice :sleep:

[Lofty]

Jammy cunts, I am going to have to work the weekend and then it looks like leave will be cancelled between Christmas and New Year to meet our deadline, perks of the 'manager' grade. Basically going to have to cane the next 7 days so I can get a fighting chance of enjoying the bank holidays without logging on - for work that has to be completed but in reality covid will make moot :moop:

[Waffdon]

Also finished today until the 4th. Already dozed off on the sofa twice :sleep:

English schools finish early as fuck

[mo]

Some don't finish until Tuesday, but think they had a two week October half term. But also, don't Scottish schools go back in August? :cab: It's a long old term.

[Waffdon]

Start half way through August with 2 weeks in October followed by 2 weeks at Christmas and Easter. Usually finish for Summer end of June and get 6 weeks for Summer.

Think they come off next Thursday at 12 for Christmas. Not sure it’s usually that close, mind.

[Lewis]

I'm off until the 10th. :cool:

[Offshore Toon]

https://scontent-lcy1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/266636158_624470868694411_3311719431787050802_n.pn g?_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=ae9488&_nc_ohc=Mdu7nxu8eRUAX9zEYrx&_nc_ht=scontent-lcy1-1.xx&oh=03_AVLAWSSXEfH0oVCV6e9iW0_q15C2gT8gbqLDuEQ5rZwm Aw&oe=61E22729

here he is ~10 years later with SincereTheRebel , he's given up drums and is bald now
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/KVu4HgSZv_k/hqdefault.jpg

[-james-]

Landed in Thessaloniki this morning, mum's driving me back from the airport when I get a text from my mate who's house I spent last night in saying that he's tested positive. House is in meltdown.

[SincereTheRebel]

https://scontent-lcy1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.18169-9/1927624_116020210383_9077_n.jpg?_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=de6eea&_nc_ohc=xsAw5scuEpYAX87_1z4&_nc_ht=scontent-lcy1-1.xx&oh=00_AT8n9QiMJ5IbVbkG4UPgK6Mklm59OeiqLY6eQaPU3d5K tg&oe=61E1131B
that's ~ 15 years before

https://scontent-lcy1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/266636158_624470868694411_3311719431787050802_n.pn g?_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=ae9488&_nc_ohc=Mdu7nxu8eRUAX9zEYrx&_nc_ht=scontent-lcy1-1.xx&oh=03_AVLAWSSXEfH0oVCV6e9iW0_q15C2gT8gbqLDuEQ5rZwm Aw&oe=61E22729

here he is ~10 years later with SincereTheRebel , he's given up drums and is bald now

:joy:

[Spikey M]

Landed in Thessaloniki this morning, mum's driving me back from the airport when I get a text from my mate who's house I spent last night in saying that he's tested positive. House is in meltdown.

:rosebud:

[Lofty]

Omicron exported to the med by TTH.

[Spikey M]

1453465116104663045?t=UL4caEALG445QWrd5xTTmQ&s=19

[Spoonsky]

Landed in Thessaloniki this morning, mum's driving me back from the airport when I get a text from my mate who's house I spent last night in saying that he's tested positive. House is in meltdown.

My girlfriend's just gone on family holiday to Israel (she's from there) and had a similar thing. Her whole family (her, her sister and the parents) had to test negative before getting on the flight, then they all got tested upon arrival. They spend the entire first day there together, go to bed (her and her sister sharing a bed), then around midnight she gets waken up by her parents telling her that her sister has tested positive.

:D / :face:

Now it's a clusterfuck because the other three are still negative but there's every chance they'll develop it within the next 5 days, so they're just kind of waiting around to start getting symptoms. What a holiday.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Had my booster this afternoon, didn't collapse. The nurse told me with some certainty that I wouldn't get side effects. I thought this was a bold call, but she's been right so far.

[Ian]

Yep, I'm feeling fine after my morning booster too. Them folks at Pfizer have done it again.

[Pepe]

I forgot my wife's Christmas presents in the US. :face:

[Spikey M]

:D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:lol:

[Spikey M]

Thankfully the French don't hold grudges.

[Lofty]

Schoolboy error.

[Lewis]

My girlfriend's just gone on family holiday to Israel (she's from there) and had a similar thing. Her whole family (her, her sister and the parents) had to test negative before getting on the flight, then they all got tested upon arrival. They spend the entire first day there together, go to bed (her and her sister sharing a bed), then around midnight she gets waken up by her parents telling her that her sister has tested positive.

:D / :face:

Now it's a clusterfuck because the other three are still negative but there's every chance they'll develop it within the next 5 days, so they're just kind of waiting around to start getting symptoms. What a holiday.

The holi-cost.

[Pepe]

Worst part is that we are celebrating Christmas today, since I am leaving before the real one, so I don't even have time to go buy something around here. I'll just have to own up to it in front of her family.

[Spikey M]

The Mrs is doing the wrapping and has discovered one of my daughters presents has a part missing. I've now got to do a 40 mile round trip to the toy shop we got it from tonight.

A toy shop 3 days before Christmas? For fuck sake.

[Kikó]

https://www.themoviedb.org/t/p/w500/r8HluT9hKTWKtCggX1Krx9RMWZs.jpg

[7om]

Great movie.

[Spikey M]

It is. Sadly, in this edition Dementor will be replaced by a legging clad woman called Shanice, that forgot to buy Taylor-Tyler a remote control Paw Patrol character and won't move her saggy cellulite arse from the till until they find one.

[Lewis]

The Mrs is doing the wrapping and has discovered one of my daughters presents has a part missing. I've now got to do a 40 mile round trip to the toy shop we got it from tonight.

A toy shop 3 days before Christmas? For fuck sake.


It is. Sadly, in this edition Dementor will be replaced by a legging clad woman called Shanice, that forgot to buy Taylor-Tyler a remote control Paw Patrol character and won't move her saggy cellulite arse from the till until they find one.

Alright lad.

[Spikey M]

I didn't forget anything and my arse is a peach, tyvm. :moop:

Inb4 "your head is also a peach".

[Giggles]

I went into town for cards today on the way home from work. Fucking bedlam.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I didn't forget anything and my arse is a peach, tyvm. :moop:

Inb4 "your head is also a peach".

That would be foolish, your head is a grape.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The worst thing about Christmas in shops, and I'm going to be very specific about this, is old people looking at food. Not buying it. Not putting it in their trollies. Standing in aisles and looking at it. Take the cheese area, for example. In most British supermarkets there will be a cheddar wall, a rubbery Swiss cheese area, and an 'everything else' section. Normally some septuagenarian couple will have a trolley and their withered bodies straddling all three, just looking. I know what I want - Manchego - but I have to wait for them to go on this silent voyage of cheesy discovery before I can get it.

Eventually she will say to him 'Do we have cheddar at home?' and he will start dribbling and say 'Cheddar cheese, cheddar, cheddar cheese, cheese, cheddar cheese' until the sands of time have slipped sufficiently from their grasp that, pursued by the Reaper himself making a hasty dart from the household goods aisle, they will push the trolley away without taking any cheese at all. 'Chips,' he'll say, 'chips chips, fish and chips, fish, chips, fish and bread rolls chips, newspapers, the Daily Sun newspaper, do you want an ice cream for the grandkids?' and then the Milky Way has had time to merge with Andromeda before these cunts have even made it home. How long must it take them to unpack the shopping?

[Lewis]

Whenever I go to the butchers I get stuck behind some fossil with a shopping bag asking about/buying the entire shop. What are they? Are they nice? How much are they? What about just four of them? Oh no I'll just... I walk out half the time. I hate queuing more than anything.

[Mike]

Finished work for Christmas. Only done three days this half term, but still felt good.
Beer is cooling in the fridge and Mexican food is getting delivered any second now.

[Waffdon]

I’ve got a stonking cold right in time for Christmas. Is there anything more annoying than a cold? You’re not quite ill enough to get away with doing nothing or cancelling plans and now with Covid every cunt asks you if you’ve been tested. Fack off

[Boydy]

Have you been tested?

[Waffdon]

Yes but not for Covid

[Shindig]

My sister's coming over tomorrow with some cards. She also made it sound like she was dodging mam and dad because of the virus.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Last night I went with my family to a Christmas pub quiz (the first time we've ever done this). With one round to go we found ourselves 6 points in the lead. The final round was structured so that there are 6 questions (worth 2 points each) and then a 7th 'Twist' question which is optional to play, but if you do play it and get it wrong, you lose all your points for the round. If you get the 'Twist' right, you get 6 bonus points. You have to decide whether to 'stick' or 'twist' before hearing the question.

So we had the first 6 questions, and only knew 3 of them. I then got into an argument with my brother, who thought we should stick, thus guaranteeing 'at least 2nd prize' as he put it. I said we should twist, because a) we could be beaten if we stuck, and b) it's pub quiz, why be a boring bastard, you have to go for it. Eventually I won the argument and we twisted. The twist question was what is the most-watched Christmas TV broadcast ever. We went for Morecambe and Wise. The answer was Only Fools and Horses. As a result, we lost all our points ended up finishing about 4th or 5th. If we'd stuck, we would have tied for 1st, and then been in a tie break which we would have lost, so we'd have finished 2nd and won about £10.

My brother then started giving me a lecture about game theory all the way home. Who is the cunt, me or him?

[Giggles]

Whoever came up with the format.

[Lewis]

I wouldn't have known that the answer was Only Fools and Horses, but it would have been a ninety per cent safe bet outside of football matches and state occasions, so why did you entire family guess otherwise? Did you GAME THEORY that the obvious answer was too obvious?

[Spikey M]

Last night I went with my family to a Christmas pub quiz (the first time we've ever done this). With one round to go we found ourselves 6 points in the lead. The final round was structured so that there are 6 questions (worth 2 points each) and then a 7th 'Twist' question which is optional to play, but if you do play it and get it wrong, you lose all your points for the round. If you get the 'Twist' right, you get 6 bonus points. You have to decide whether to 'stick' or 'twist' before hearing the question.

So we had the first 6 questions, and only knew 3 of them. I then got into an argument with my brother, who thought we should stick, thus guaranteeing 'at least 2nd prize' as he put it. I said we should twist, because a) we could be beaten if we stuck, and b) it's pub quiz, why be a boring bastard, you have to go for it. Eventually I won the argument and we twisted. The twist question was what is the most-watched Christmas TV broadcast ever. We went for Morecambe and Wise. The answer was Only Fools and Horses. As a result, we lost all our points ended up finishing about 4th or 5th. If we'd stuck, we would have tied for 1st, and then been in a tie break which we would have lost, so we'd have finished 2nd and won about £10.

My brother then started giving me a lecture about game theory all the way home. Who is the cunt, me or him?

I only have a very basic grasp of Game Theory, but I'm struggling to see how it applies here?

Unless there was a third option to go with stick or twist? Then upon it's removal you change your mind from stick to twist or vice-versa. That's Game Theory, right? Nothing to do with being a pussy.

If I'm right, he's the cunt. But of course, if I'm wrong, I'm now the cunt. Either way you're off the hook, cunt.

[Manc]

Mind-boggling answer. Take a long hard look in the mirror.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I wouldn't have known that the answer was Only Fools and Horses, but it would have been a ninety per cent safe bet outside of football matches and state occasions, so why did you entire family guess otherwise? Did you GAME THEORY that the obvious answer was too obvious?

It was multiple choice between those two and Coronation Street. My parents informed us that EVERYONE watched Morecambe and Wise at Christmas in the 70s, and I thought TV figures in general might have dipped off by the 90s when OFAH was on.

[Spikey M]

A new option has been added, so we should all change our answers to Manc being the cunt.

[Offshore Toon]

Your brother would have been the cunt had it not been multiple choice, although making any sort of deal out of missing out on a collective tenner is pathetic.

[Ian]

24m viewers for anything live other than sport just sounds mental in this day and age.

We did a similar quiz once where the final round had a similar idea but ANY wrong answer wiped your points for that round. We'd have won if I hadn't BOTTLED it on a Gulliver's Travels question.

[Spikey M]

Speaking of quizes, are you doing one this year Jim? And will you be providing Wullie with all the answers via PM again?

[Ian]

And will you be providing Wullie with all the answers via PM again?

:D

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'll rustle one up in the next couple of days if I get time. And yes, Wullie actually sets the questions, I just loan him my account to post them up and then he gets to look clever answering them correctly.

[Foe]

Becoming a moany bastard over £10 pub quiz winnings is a bit mental.

You’re definitely on the right side.

Went to Tesco this morning just after 9 assuming bedlam, and the shop was pleasantly quiet.

Did see an old boy in his Skoda parked across the pavement into the petrol station beside a car with a quite prominent bash in the side, so somebody got a bit excited on the accelerator trying to escape the Christmas crowds.

[SvN]

I was in traffic yesterday and someone came reversing off their drive at full pelt and smashed into the car in front of me. #prayforsvn

[Ian]

Shit. I was in a car once. Makes you think.

[mo]

The Nazis had cars you know :brighton:

[Giggles]

Fuck that shite.


1473951462300401666

[Pepe]

I have never understood why anyone would bother. Whatever you are buying, it is not that important.

[Spikey M]

Having Googled it, it's a clothes shop. Pepe is correct. Why the fuck would you stand in that?

[Ian]

I'm trying to think what I would join that queue for (that is realistic, I mean I dare say I'd do it for a billion quid) but I'm coming up blank.

[Lewis]

The comments are all on about booze, which would make more sense, not least because they all have trolleys.

[Spikey M]

When I was over there at Easter one year, they were only allowed to sell alcohol in hotel bars. Is it something like that Giggles? Otherwise, surely they have supermarkets, cornershops, off licences etc. Why would you queue like that for some booze at one specific place?

[SincereTheRebel]

I wasn't aware people from Bottom Ireland had that much patience.

[Boydy]

Having Googled it, it's a clothes shop. Pepe is correct. Why the fuck would you stand in that?

They do groceries too. It's a bit like M&S, has food, drink, clothes, homeware etc.

[phonics]

I got my old man a bundle of The Blizzard's from the last year. I thought it would be up his alley and then flicking through I see they even have a crossword. Think I've absolutely nailed it this year with that and some Cashmere gloves for my mum.

However, there is one issue with The Blizzard. I thought there'd been a print fuck-up because they all had the same cover except for one. Then I realised...

https://i.imgur.com/4jNaRFr.png

[Spikey M]

They do groceries too. It's a bit like M&S, has food, drink, clothes, homeware etc.

Ahhh... are they the Irish equivalents to Waitrose / M&S boomers?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Got my brother's missus some pralines, now I find she has a nut allergy. Back to the drawing board. On the plus side, I now have some pralines.

[Shindig]

Wor sis is turning up tomorrow instead because she can't find the whisky I like. Gives me a day to get them some proper chocolates instead of palming off the Celebrations I was going to give to mam and dad.

I don't why I'm always shocked at how busy Christmas gets.

[Lofty]

I am hoping to get a haircut tomorrow like and idiot because I have been too busy with work prior to this. Also occured to me my wife might have got me a christmas card, which I have explained we aren't doing previously but could still be a potential error on my part brewing for Saturday morning.

As for the quiz Jim, the format was flawed and should have been the classic with tie breaker in the event of a draw. I'm pretty sure in the 70s as many people didn't have tvs/electric and survived on sugar sandwiches during the rolling blackouts which probably skewed the figures somewhat.

[Panda Bear]

Wor sis is turning up tomorrow instead because she can't find the whisky I like. Gives me a day to get them some proper chocolates instead of palming off the Celebrations I was going to give to mam and dad.

I don't why I'm always shocked at how busy Christmas gets.

what the fuck is 'wor'

[Spikey M]

Wor Panda avina reet mare.

[Shindig]

I count at least three accents in that. :D

[Ian]

what the fuck is 'wor'

To learn more about Geordies please watch this faithful recreation of their speech and peoples:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei1DnFdJrww

[Offshore Toon]

Spikey on the cowies.

[Spikey M]

Spikey on the cowies.

Al feckin empy ya bawbag yer eedyat.

[Lewis]

'Oi Pissi-Krissi, you... You cunt...'

[Kikó]

Wor originates from the Arabic "mine" to denote ownership over the inferior sex

[Giggles]

Ahhh... are they the Irish equivalents to Waitrose / M&S boomers?

Nothing so fancy. It’s Irish Tesco basically.

[Lewis]

Tesc O'Extra.

[Spikey M]

Nothing so fancy. It’s Irish Tesco basically.

Why the massive queue then? Seems strange. The Supermarkets are busy here but there's not queues out the doors.

[Shindig]

I'm going to guess they've gone back into covid restrictions of limited people in at one time.

[Panda Bear]

Thank you all for accommodating my poor reading comprehension.

[Boydy]

Nothing so fancy. It’s Irish Tesco basically.
It's more expensive than Tesco, isn't it? I always found it was. It isn't as fancy as M&S, yeah but I thought that was decent approximation for british audience. Although I suppose Tesco has clothes and homeware and all that these days too.

[Yevrah]

Work is done for the year, had my third shot of Bill Gates' jizz at lunchtime (feeling fine so far) and a bit more shopping to sort in the morning and then it's relaxation until 4th Jan. :drool:

[Manc]

Lucky fucker. Tommorrow is going to be painful.

[Baz]

Lucky fucker. Tommorrow is going to be painful.

I've been told we "can finish early, like 3 o clock if you like."

Mate, I'll only be turning my laptop on at 3pm to set my out of office. It's Christmas Eve.

[Waffdon]

I need to go to my Maw’s to drop off everyone’s presents and then the old man’s on the way home. Will probably nip into the shopping centre in Dundee to buy a couple shirts/polos for the next week. Can’t imagine it will be too busy, presumably it’ll be more grocery stores that are for folk getting last minute stuff. Then it’s getting pissed, eating food, beating the missus’ family rotten at quizzes and watching football/ponies for the next week

[Yevrah]

Lucky fucker. Tommorrow is going to be painful.

From the shopping or Gates' jizz? I'm aiming to get the former done early doors to avoid the zombie like Christmas shoppers.

[Waffdon]

Christmas Day stream incoming?

A pished Yev opening up £500 worth of packs pls

[mo]

Daughter's got chickenpox, which has scuppered our plans somewhat. All avoided getting Covid, but she has to go and get chuffing chickenpox.

[Kikó]

From the shopping or Gates' jizz? I'm aiming to get the former done early doors to avoid the zombie like Christmas shoppers.

I was fine after booster 3. I think it only impacts the weak like manc.

[Baz]

Pigs in blankets for dinner. :nod:

[Giggles]

Why the massive queue then? Seems strange. The Supermarkets are busy here but there's not queues out the doors.

People just never seem to mind. I think they’re fucking insane.

[Giggles]

It's more expensive than Tesco, isn't it? I always found it was. It isn't as fancy as M&S, yeah but I thought that was decent approximation for british audience. Although I suppose Tesco has clothes and homeware and all that these days too.

They’re at a few fancier bits than they used to with things like a separate sheridans cheese shop and all in-store, but for regular groceries here they’d be on a par with Tesco on price and their clothes would, like Tesco, be a good step below M&S in quality.

A lot of people would be starting to turn away from Tesco here because so much of the produce is foreign. Dunnes, SuperValu, and the two Germans would have substantially more local stuff.

[Yevrah]

I was fine after booster 3. I think it only impacts the weak like manc.

24 hours in and it's that way for me too. Result.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I had some side effects after the booster but I was told it was more likely as it was a different jab (Pfizer) than the first two (AZ).

[Yevrah]

My first two were AZ as well, with this one Pfizer. Given I also haven't noticed ever having COVID maybe I'm just superb at handling things that come out of a lab. :harold:

[Boydy]

AZ was horrible for my first two but Pfizer for the booster was just a sore arm and a bit of a headache the day after.

[ScousePig]

Last night I went with my family to a Christmas pub quiz (the first time we've ever done this). With one round to go we found ourselves 6 points in the lead. The final round was structured so that there are 6 questions (worth 2 points each) and then a 7th 'Twist' question which is optional to play, but if you do play it and get it wrong, you lose all your points for the round. If you get the 'Twist' right, you get 6 bonus points. You have to decide whether to 'stick' or 'twist' before hearing the question.

So we had the first 6 questions, and only knew 3 of them. I then got into an argument with my brother, who thought we should stick, thus guaranteeing 'at least 2nd prize' as he put it. I said we should twist, because a) we could be beaten if we stuck, and b) it's pub quiz, why be a boring bastard, you have to go for it. Eventually I won the argument and we twisted. The twist question was what is the most-watched Christmas TV broadcast ever. We went for Morecambe and Wise. The answer was Only Fools and Horses. As a result, we lost all our points ended up finishing about 4th or 5th. If we'd stuck, we would have tied for 1st, and then been in a tie break which we would have lost, so we'd have finished 2nd and won about £10.

My brother then started giving me a lecture about game theory all the way home. Who is the cunt, me or him?

My family used to love a pub quiz. We once did poorly at one in East Dulwich (probably over Christmas) and my dad sulked and basically stormed off IIrc. The only time I've ever won a pub quiz was also incidentally in London (East Dulwich again) when it was just me, my sister and her very intelligent Chilean friend.

Incidentally, I've sent my dad your football quiz to get his teeth stuck into over Christmas. I think he'll use it as an excuse to be unsociable at my cousins' house on Christmas Day.

So thanks for that.

[ScousePig]

I count at least three accents in that. :D

Flitting between Yorkshire and the north east as I do, I barely batted an eyelid.

[Lewis]

I watched Blackadder's Christmas Carol earlier and it was far worse than I remembered. I think I smirked twice. I've wondered for a while whether the series was actually crap, since I loved it when I was a teenager, so maybe it was. Oh well.

[Lewis]

'LadBaby' needs killing. I thought he was a tosser anyway, but him getting all indignant about that (admittedly pathetic) Boris Johnson song proves that he actually takes it all far, far more seriously than he would otherwise admit.

[Shindig]

Is that something they did after Back and Forth?

[Giggles]

Is ladbaby not some fat bird?

[Shindig]

"How did you make your millions, dad?"
"Well, we made sausage rolls-related covers of pop classics for 25 years."

Dante's vision of hell just got a tenth circle.

[Ian]

I watched Blackadder's Christmas Carol earlier and it was far worse than I remembered. I think I smirked twice. I've wondered for a while whether the series was actually crap, since I loved it when I was a teenager, so maybe it was. Oh well.

I haven't watched Christmas Carol for a while but whenever I last watched the actual show I still enjoyed it. A lot of other writers/comedians driving the "thingy thing" ... er... thing... into the ground probably doesn't help it on rewatches now.

[Pepe]

Just made it back home. Charles de Gaulle is an appalling airport. Luckily the taco food truck next to the highway on the way back from the airport was open (the lad working there didn't seem too happy about it), so I am set for the night. :drool:

[phonics]

CDG is truly the worst airport I've ever been to. Iirc they've since fixed it but the first time I went there it had no signs as the original architect had sued to say that any signage would 'destroy the artistic integrity of his design'.

[Ian]

Worst airport? Must be a fred in that for the boring holiday hours.

[Kikó]

Boring? Consider it done.

[Pepe]

They managed to make the whole going through security thing even more annoying the Americans do, which I thought was impossible. Made my gate as they were giving the last call on the speaker. :D

Then I had to sit next to a stinky French hippy for eight hours.

[Boydy]

I thought your wife was staying in France for Christmas?

[Pepe]

:moop:

[Giggles]

CDG has nothing on Naples.

[Ian]

I thought your wife was staying in France for Christmas?

:D

[Yevrah]

Christmas Day stream incoming?

A pished Yev opening up £500 worth of packs pls

Maybe on the former, no on the latter. Over at my Sister's and may kip over if the alcohol flows all day, but if not I'll drive back and get on it.

[Shindig]

Is CDG the one that had the roof collapse?

[Panda Bear]

Might pop on a Mister Bean's Merry Christmas later.

[Spikey M]

I thought your wife was staying in France for Christmas?

:lol:

[Giggles]

The telly is so bad at Christmas. ET was on earlier. E fucking T. Who exactly is that for?

[ScousePig]

The only time I've been to CDG we were given two different terminals so had a bit of a faff but don't remember it being too bad. I don't remember too much of an issue with Naples other than the trek to the train station.

Actually, the first time I flew home from Naples the airline missed up the seating and families were split up all over the plane.

[phonics]

Berlin's airport was also fucking atrocious. I've never been but I expect Yemen has similar standards.

[Panda Bear]

Berlin's airport was also fucking atrocious. I've never been but I expect Yemen has similar standards.I'm guessing you were at Tempelhof and not Brandenburg.

I remember landing in Tempelhof and being stunned at the awful signage, so I walked behind this assertive German couple (at a respectable distance, of course) who were on the same flight in the hopes they would lead me to baggage claim.

Instead they led me directly out of the secure area, at which point they turned around and walked back in with an understanding glance from a security guard who then proceeded to prevent my own re-entry.

Had to wait four hours to get that damn luggage.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Warsaw Modlin the worst I've been to.

It's a budget airport for budget airlines. Thankfully Wizzair stopped flying there.

One tiny shop, no seats (so you get loads slumming it on the floor). Also, two times in a row I went there was a bomb scare where the whole place had to be evacuated. They called the bomb squad only to discover someone had put their bag of sandwiches down at security.

There's also a shit overpriced restaurant just outside and it's on the outskirts of a small town so you're fucked if you've got a long wait.

I think only Ryannair use it now.

[-james-]

Schonefeld was also hell on earth. Tempelhof is now quite a pleasant park. You can walk along the runway pretending to be a plane. :cool:

[Bernanke]

Best I've been to is probably El Prat in Barcelona. Just a really solid one. As a local, Schiphol really is great for the size as well.

[-james-]

Prestwick is by far the saddest airport I've ever been to. This was about five years ago but there was maybe 8 flights, all Ryanair, departing that day. Place is massive, derelict and has the same carpeting it must have done 30 years ago.

Apparently Elvis was once there briefly, his only UK visit, and the only thing of note is the place is a themed bar and random bits of shite memorabilia.

[Shindig]

I've only been to three airports and none of them felt shit. I kinda like how quick it is to get airside at Newcastle. Heathrow is massive and Newark took forever to get out of.

[Spikey M]

The shittest airport is Stansted.

The end.

[Don]

Reopening clubs, eastern European whorehouses and the end of the culture war are all nice but the real treat to COVID ending is Shindig's travel tales.

[Shindig]

They won't let you travel with the IS flag, will they?

[-james-]

The shittest airport is Stansted.

The end.

I dunno, it's generally pretty efficient in my experience and not that bad to get to. Definitely better than Luton. Most minor UK airports are basically the same, the only thing that varies is how long it takes to get to from the city it's meant to serve, and queue times.

[Lofty]

'LadBaby' needs killing. I thought he was a tosser anyway, but him getting all indignant about that (admittedly pathetic) Boris Johnson song proves that he actually takes it all far, far more seriously than he would otherwise admit.

It's irritating that they will likely beat the consecutive record next year. It will be held up as a massive achievement when actually no-one cares about christmas number one anymore, it's the musical equivent of Celtic giving it large winning all those titles while Rangers were out of the SPL.

[Spikey M]

Everytime I've used Stansted it's been terrible. Baggage being the main problem. We waited for nearly 2 hours last time.

We use Gatwick where possible. Unless Southend is an option. Southend is amazing. There's fuck all there. Check in and security take about 45 seconds. Then you grab a pint and you can see your gate and plane from your seat.

The smaller the airport the better it is.

[Shindig]

It's irritating that they will likely beat the consecutive record next year. It will be held up as a massive achievement when actually no-one cares about christmas number one anymore, it's the musical equivent of Celtic giving it large winning all those titles while Rangers were out of the SPL.

The last year I cared about was when Rage Against the Machine took it. A truly great moment in history.

[Ian]

At the point when they were doing up Dubai to turn it into the giant shiny shopping centre it is now we went through on the way to visit my dad wherever he was working at the time. It was a proper tip. All temporary walls and scary looking food stalls. Then coming back we were gritting our teeth for more of the same and stumbled goggled eyed into this palatial space because they'd opened it up. The outgoing trip probably wasn't the worst airport I've been in but it felt it by comparison.