November fitba: Is anything interesting happening?

[Ian]

Considering Football is about as interesting as competitive knitting at the moment, can we have an "Ian's Top Cunts" thread instead of November Football?

Obviously the "Top Cunts" thing isn't going to be happening (I don't want to hurt Spikey's feelings after all) but in trying to find something to do for this month's thread and not wanting to get drawn into the high-octane world of competitive knitting I have to agree with him that basically nothing is happening.

Champions League: It's the group stages. Who cares? Yeah United will probably fuck it up and drop to the Wafer and AC Milan being bottom is moderately lol but those things are true basically all the time now. Sherriff are top of their group you say? Probably won't last because we can't have nice things but isn't Tiraspol a crime-riddled pro-Soviet cesspit anyway? Who wants to support that? Nothing to see here.

Xavi is going back to manage Barcelona! Binmen are their thing now. Yawn.

The transfer rumour mill will be starting up again: And I'm already weary at the thought of it.

Newcastle have fabulously wealthy new owners: Yeaaaaaaah but now every time they do fucking anything it'll be "Ah, but-" and then a load of hand-wringing. Also some presumably totally believable source the other day had them linked with fucking Lingard so the new era can't be that exciting once you get past no longer having to look at Steve Bruce's potato face.

The Premier League: I'm a United fan, nothing of interest here for me.

In conclusion: go and watch the knitting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLfdM56pyDc

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm (genuinely) looking forward to the international break, that's where the excitement will be.

[Spikey M]

I'm (genuinely) looking forward to the international break, that's where the excitement will be.


https://youtu.be/IkK_PxeoQ2g

[Boydy]

Spikey :D

[Don]

Nuno gone. They can't attract anyone of substance like Potter, can they?

[Waffdon]

I'm (genuinely) looking forward to the international break, that's where the excitement will be.

I was as well since we have something to play for this time but then I realised we play Friday/Monday and I’m back to hating it

[John Arne]

What is Levy expecting exactly? Spuds are a top 6 or 7 team, currently just 1pt off seventh. They're gonna go through a lot of managers if they are expecting anything more than that.

[Waffdon]

Wonder if they’ll get Conte this time around. Ole will be stuck at the wheel

[Spikey M]

What is Levy expecting exactly? Spuds are a top 6 or 7 team, currently just 1pt off seventh. They're gonna go through a lot of managers if they are expecting anything more than that.

I don't know if it's the manager or the players (probably both), but Spurs are only where they are through sheer luck. They've been awful.

1454707386615308296?t=KIZQODNuashST3HYhEaPPA&s=19

[Spikey M]

Wonder if they’ll get Conte this time around. Ole will be stuck at the wheel

Conte would be a car crash at Spurs. He needs specific players, playing specific roles, not just whatever Levy can get on the cheap / what he perceives to be cheap.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Don't think any manager in the world would do well at Spurs currently.

[Spikey M]

Don't think any manager in the world would do well at Spurs currently.

Their best chance would be a Redknapp type. They need a man manager, not a tactician, but you're right regardless. It's a very unhappy group of largely poor footballers and Harry Kane can't be arsed to carry them anymore.

[Boydy]

They should get Big Sam.

[Lofty]

It's clear no-one wants to go, Nuno was the 40th candidate wasn't he? Like you say, it looks a doomed project especially when the best player has clearly spat his dummy.

[-james-]

It depends what you mean by do well. It's not winning the league, but it can definitely get top four. Quite how bad they've looked with the players available is astonishing.

[Lewis]

They have two good players and half of them can't be arsed.

[Spikey M]

It depends what you mean by do well. It's not winning the league, but it can definitely get top four. Quite how bad they've looked with the players available is astonishing.

I don't imagine many fans are expecting to be in a much better position than where they are now, it's simply the nature of the performances. They are terrible. Genuinely awful to watch.

[Lofty]

Let's not be deluded here the Spurs squad is absolute horseshit. Aside from Son and Kane there are maybe 3 who would get into the other top ten teams, the rest wouldn't. The keeper is a busted flush for a start.

It might just be the ultimate poison chalice job :drool:

[Spikey M]

It might just be the ultimate poison chalice job :drool:

The new England.

[Manc]

A Winks-Skipp double pivot.

[Spikey M]

A Winks-Skipp double pivot.

If Ryan Mason gets the Caretaker job again then it's nailed on. :drool:

Dele Alli as the 10. Eric Dier being Eric Dier.

[Don]

Potter has a Brighton side made up of relentless Championship shite fighting for European football, Moyes has a 1 striker squad in the top four but Spurs with Kane and Son are beyond saving because it's Spurs...

[-james-]

Let's not be deluded here the Spurs squad is absolute horseshit. Aside from Son and Kane there are maybe 3 who would get into the other top ten teams, the rest wouldn't. The keeper is a busted flush for a start.

It might just be the ultimate poison chalice job :drool:

Lloris has consistently been one of the best shot stoppers in the league for the past 5+ seasons. Which teams ranked between fifth and ten have a better squad than Spurs?!

[-james-]

Kane Son
Lo Celso
Reguillon Hojbjerg Ndombele Emerson
Davies Romero Dier
Lloris

Could do with a center back and I have no idea how good Emerson is, but that's pretty sexy imo.

[SvN]

Looks like Conte is going to take the Spurs job. A serious test of his managerial credentials - if he can't make them successful, they may as well fold.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Kane Son
Lo Celso
Reguillon Hojbjerg Ndombele Emerson
Davies Romero Dier
Lloris

Could do with a center back and I have no idea how good Emerson is, but that's pretty sexy imo.

That's 6th best in the league at a push, and their expectations now seem to be higher than that. Add in that Kane has checked out mentally and it's fucked.

The 'Redknapp type' of man manager who can get a tune out of players has gone out of the game with analytics coming in, so they'll be stuck with some useless suit who will also be gone by the summer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Looks like Conte is going to take the Spurs job. A serious test of his managerial credentials - if he can't make them successful, they may as well fold.

Well, if so, disregard my above post - I didn't think he would go there.

[-james-]

I'm speaking under the impression that Conte gets the job. I don't think anyone elevates a squad more immediately than he does. More than anything else it would just be another wonderful chapter in the Ole story.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pochettino seems like he will get the sack from PSG despite being top of everything by miles, so they'll get away with it, as they always do.

[Lewis]

You would think Conte would be better off waiting for a few weeks, so maybe he's an Italian idiot.

[Waffdon]

Spurs are going to play just a turgid and boring as they did under Nuno if Conte gets the job lol

[Lofty]

Lloris has consistently been one of the best shot stoppers in the league for the past 5+ seasons. Which teams ranked between fifth and ten have a better squad than Spurs?!

Since he won the world cup hasn't he been a possibly alcoholic average keeper? Seems to spend more time picking the ball out of his net than stopping shots these days, surely Lolris is upgradeable?

Put it another way which teams except Everton in the top 10 would you say the Spurs squad would walk into, with the obvious exception of Kane and Son? I'd argue not many.

If they were that good managers would have been queuing up to manage them.

[Shindig]

I also don't think Nuno came into that job on the best of runs. The wheels were already off at Wolves.

[SincereTheRebel]

Struggking ijtnhere lads. The wind chill in thes stands are mega

[Giggles]

Carragher is talking some shite here.

[phonics]

Newcastle fans telling me that Benitez to Bruce was a significant downgrade should look at Everton.

[-james-]

Since he won the world cup hasn't he been a possibly alcoholic average keeper? Seems to spend more time picking the ball out of his net than stopping shots these days, surely Lolris is upgradeable?

Put it another way which teams except Everton in the top 10 would you say the Spurs squad would walk into, with the obvious exception of Kane and Son? I'd argue not many.

If they were that good managers would have been queuing up to manage them.

That's kind of how it works though. What side outside of the top four is filled with superstars? How many West Ham players get into the Spurs squad? Arsenal? Leicester? If we are going by that metric I think Kane, Son, Lo Celso and Ndombele probably win it for Spurs.

[phonics]

What did Lo Celso do 5 years ago that has gained him this reputation? He’s so average. Along with the rest of their central midfield which is the problem. Harry Winks, Skipp etc. They’re so mediocre it does t matter what’s around them.

[-james-]

People just assume Oliver Skipp is shit because he's called Oliver Skipp and looks like an Oliver Skipp. There's a lot of tekkers there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Harry Winks and Oliver Skipp both look exactly like their name. Harry Kane doesn't. He looks more like a Darren Jones.

[Waffdon]

If Wolves could finish a chance (or had Hwang) in the first three games they’d not be far off the top.

Hwang is a don

[phonics]

[QUOTE=-james-;507097]People just assume Oliver Skipp is shit because he's called Oliver Skipp and looks like an Oliver Skipp. There's a lot of tekkers there.[/QUOTE

He’s a perfectly able technical midfielder that you could find 10 a penny in Switzerland for a million quid.

[Don]

It's true, these Brits love to hype up a frail midfield 'technician' like Winks/Skipp/Cleverley who's only ability revolves around making pointless turns in the middle of the park and making 5 yard passes almost parrallel to the opposition lines. Get the fuck out of here and go play in some less physical league, you useless bums.

[-james-]

That Phillips-Winks-Henderson-Gallagher quadruple pivot is bringing football home next year. :cool:

[Shindig]

What's Rice done to get kicked out of that?

[-james-]

He's leading the line.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Hwang is a don

I called this just before the World Cup in 2018, unfortunately he was shit there but it's good to see him doing well now.

[Luca]

Harry Winks and Oliver Skipp both look exactly like their name. Harry Kane doesn't. He looks more like a Darren Jones.

To be fair, Harry Kane looks like he could be Harry Kane, but he's Darren Jones when he opens his mouth.

[niko_cee]

Conte has asked Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy for a transfer budget of about £237m to buy six Serie A-based players he has identified.

:happycry:

[Shindig]

Tammy Abraham, Chris Smalling, Fikayo Tomori, Edin Dzeko, Christian Eriksen. Oh, I need another one. Henryk Mithyrthingyan. Ronaldo Vieira as a back up in case Eriksen doesn't get clearance. Rest of the budget goes on suits.

[Spikey M]

:happycry:

"Listen, Antonio: I promised you 2 £37 Million Italians and I'm a man of my word..."

[Gray Fox]

It could be a Good Ebening in Newcastle tonight.

[Baz]

Kane Son
Lo Celso
Reguillon Hojbjerg Ndombele Emerson
Davies Romero Dier
Lloris

Could do with a center back and I have no idea how good Emerson is, but that's pretty sexy imo.

Spurs side are basically built for Conte’s 3-5-2.

So long as he gets them keen, they’ll fly up the league to 5th easy.

[Giggles]

Must be a day of appointments that will end in tears.

1455484942968922119

[Lofty]

It could be a Good Ebening in Newcastle tonight.

I'm not sure how any team with money to burn and trying to wow everyone with scintillating attacking football long term thinks Emery is the way to go. His last foray into English football had Arsenal getting turned over by minnows.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If Emery is their go-to while at the bottom of the league with cuatro puntos, then the whole project is a doomed joke.

[Spikey M]

The richest club in English (world?) Football getting relegated would be properly lol.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Is there any actual evidence that the Saudis are going to spend loads of money, btw? What if the soft power of just having the club is enough for them?

[Manc]

Villarreal with just two wins from eleven in La Liga. :harold:

[Lewis]

Spurs side are basically built for Conte’s 3-5-2.

So long as he gets them keen, they’ll fly up the league to 5th easy.

Them pushing United out of the top four would be well worth it.

[Yevrah]

If Spurs have a dreadful team and Emery isn't good enough for Newcastle then my opinions on Steve Bruce must have been too kind.

[Yevrah]

The richest club in English (world?) Football getting relegated would be properly lol.

Not really, given they were effectively taken over whenever the January window opens.

[Kikó]

I think Emery is a pretty good manager/choice. He's definitely got the pedigree to push them forward.

[Smjffy]

Five Europa League finals in the last seven years isn't something to be sniffed at. I'd also say Arsenal shit the bed with him too soon given he had them challenging for champions league spot before they combusted.

It seems to me that whoever takes on Newcastle will have their work cut out for them anyway but anyone not connected to that club just seems to want them to fail because they are a little green with envy. Money talks, Newcastle will stay up then spend in the summer and challenge the top 6/7 positions. It's not like they have a great deal in front of them, other than the obvious candidates, they'll outspend Leicester, West Ham, Everton and Brighton so they should ease their way forward, no?

Project Toon will be a success, they don't need league titles, they just need to have some fun again initially. Get the supporters onside, fill the stadium, lay down the ground work for future and the rest should take care of itself. Geordies are passionate, the club is a big one, the area is shit but a bit of spend locally, it'll awaken a sleeping giant, if of course we can consider them such.

[Kikó]

They're not green with envy. They're ruled by tyrannical murderers.

[Spikey M]

Not really, given they were effectively taken over whenever the January window opens.

Not arsed if they were to be taken over on the last day of the season, it would still be funny.

[Smjffy]

They're not green with envy. They're ruled by tyrannical murderers.

No one really gives a shit. It's only really news when a takeover like this happens, hell, Qatar wouldn't be happening if people really did care as much as they pretend to.

Not saying it's right nor acceptable, mind.

[Spikey M]

No one really gives a shit. It's only really news when a takeover like this happens, hell, Qatar wouldn't be happening if people really did care as much as they pretend to.

Not saying it's right nor acceptable, mind.

It's the same shite that had your lot defending a bitey racist. Fans will forgive anything when it's in their own interests.

[Yevrah]

Of all of our relationships with the Saudis, it's funny that the one that gets the most heat is them buying football clubs. Our establishment must love it.

[Smjffy]

It's the same shite that had your lot defending a bitey racist. Fans will forgive anything when it's in their own interests.

Alleged racist. ;-)


Of all of our relationships with the Saudis, it's funny that the one that gets the most heat is them buying football clubs. Our establishment must love it.

Exactly this, really. Sell them the weapons to murder and all is fine, sell them a football club, all hell breaks loose.

[Shindig]

Why Aye, Unai is a pun that's already been made plenty of places. Honestly, he's got a fine record in cup competitions but I do wonder if he knows what talent to bring in when it comes to week-in-week-out Premier League stuff. If he can get the current squad perked up, that'll be enough for me.

[Adramelch]

I only just realised there's a Champions League group consisting of Wolfsburg, Salzburg, Sevilla and Lille. Just subconsciously assumed it was a Europa League group even though I knew Lille won the league so that couldn't be the case.

[Lofty]

Five Europa League finals in the last seven years isn't something to be sniffed at. I'd also say Arsenal shit the bed with him too soon given he had them challenging for champions league spot before they combusted.

He missed out on the top 4 by taking 4 points from his last 5 matches. He then conspired to get the club anally raped in a european final, quite a stunning failure to fuck up a double bite of the CL qualification cherry. He should have been dismissed immediately afterwards, instead he was allowed to let the club drift into the next season, ending up getting knocked out of the Europa League by fucking Eintracht Frankfurt having spunked over £100m on players in the previous window.

You are correct about having fun again, if you think Emery's teams are fun you've never seen him manage. You can set your watch by his substitutions, always overly conservative and willing to surrender any initiative in favour of bringing on extra defenders on the hour mark.

[Kikó]

Swear to god you're subtweeting ole in the above.

[Ian]

Exactly this, really. Sell them the weapons to murder and all is fine, sell them a football club, all hell breaks loose.

This is true, but "people are driven by self-interest" isn't exactly revalatory.

And to be honest if a good chunk of the population of the UK really thought through the arms deal stuff then the idea of buying weapons off one set of brown people to probably use against some other brown people would likely be a positive for them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Good to see the great man has started throwing them in again.

[Kikó]

Pressure is off now that Conte is off the market.

[Lewis]

If they never wanted Conte whatsoever then fine, but letting him slip because of one game is up there with the first Moyes season for shit administration.

[Yevrah]

Only just tuning in, but I assume the turgid shite is back?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That was a lovely goal.

[Yevrah]

I wish I had that impact on every game I start watching...

[Don]

At this rate the rapist might get more goals than Naby Keita, get those cute tables back up, spazboy :happycry:

[Boydy]

Can't believe Paul Scholes is showing his face in public.

[Dquincy]

Spazboy. :D

[Dquincy]

Can't believe Paul Scholes is showing his face in public.
You mean you wouldn't shag his daughter?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I really like Atalanta's centre forward, Zapata. He could go to England for big money at some stage. Big West Ham energy about him.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I say that as in the space of 30 seconds he shanks one wide from three yards out, and I discover he's about 8 years older than I imagined.

[Yevrah]

When was the last time Serie A produced a very good striker?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Immobile?

Before him there was a load of pap like Iaquinta, Gilardino etc and late developers like Luca Toni.

[Shindig]

Ciro Immobile's record is good for Lazio. I'm guessing you're after someone that can reproduce the goods on any occasion, though. Ciro's a disaster for country and clubs outside the boot.

[Yevrah]

Another cracker for VAR here, whatever the outcome.

[Gray Fox]

Osimhen and Lautaro Martinez could be the next ones on that list. You could maybe argue Salah started to properly perform in Serie A before he came back here again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Are we not going to see an angle that shows whether it's offside?

[Ian]

Are we not going to see an angle that shows whether it's offside?

Whoever the presumably Italian broadcaster is they fucking hate replays.

[Shindig]

I'm going to go out on a limb and say Serie A made Jay Bothroyd the man he is today.

[Danny]

Maguire not covering himself in glory lumbering across but Bailly forgetting they are no longer in a 3 and letting him just wander off from him should see him shot.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Whoever the presumably Italian broadcaster is they fucking hate replays.

There we are at least. Real 'Can we please move on to front-on spin vision' vibes.

[Lewis]

Vincenzo Iaquinta was a god for me across various FM saves. You wot (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vincenzo_Iaquinta#Criminal_allegations_and_convict ion) mate? :cab:

[Giggles]

What a man :drool:

[Yevrah]

You're going to have OGS in charge forever. :lol:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Ronaldo wants to keep him in charge...

[Yevrah]

This is about to get disallowed.

[Lewis]

Ronaldo wants to keep him in charge...

The selfish cunt should put the team first for once and stop scoring.

[Lofty]

When was the last time Serie A produced a very good striker?
Didn't someone say there is a teenage Italian Crouch regen tearing up Serie B right now?

[Smjffy]

So the real problem with Ronaldo isn't that he'll take the spot of one of the younger players but more he'll keep scoring these sort of goals to keep OGS in a job. Glorious.

[Manc]

The narrative will not die.

[Lewis]

City would have won everything with Ronaldo, so it's a success on that level at least.

[Shindig]

You can tell he loves being out there, too. He could be turning out for some Portuguese side in his 50s.

[Lewis]

Going down the divisions with United.

[Shindig]

He's only 10 goals off Josef Bican for the proper top goalscorer ever award (tm).

[-james-]

Emery to Newcastle off apparently. BBC article says they've approached him, Howe, Conte, Xavi and Joachim Lowe. Cracking "blokes we've heard of" approach

Howe looks like the favourite now but that makes no sense to me at all. They should get Nuno.

[Kikó]

Nuno is the Portuguese Steve Bruce.

[Pepe]

If his name was Stevinho Bruçao...

[Ian]

If that's true and they somehow nabbed Xavi off Barcelona that would be amazing.

I'm 100% invested in that terrible idea.

[Dquincy]

Arsene Wenger to Newcastle. You heard it hear first.

[Lofty]

Emery has turned the Toon down apparently, over concerns about their strategy. It's going to be the king of the bins, Martinez.

[Shindig]

Keegan, round three.

[randomlegend]

Cristiano Ronaldo is winning the Champions League.

[niko_cee]

Emery has turned the Toon down apparently, over concerns about their strategy.

Presumably the concerning bit about their 'strategy' would be approaching him in the first place.

[Shindig]

Aye, it was sudden and they wanted him in charge immediately. To be fair, he wasn't on anybody's radar until yesterday.

[Giggles]

Cristiano Ronaldo is winning the Champions League.

He’ll hardly move again in January.

[Ian]

He hardly moves now.

[Lofty]

Apparently the Emery strategy thing was the fact they also approached Howe who is a completely different type of manager.

[Kikó]

He hardly moves now.


He’ll hardly move again in January.

Both excellent.

[-james-]

If Howe goes through then you'd think the smart money would be on Newcastle being a Manchester United style laughing stock for a few years.

[Andy]

Hopefully Howe goes to Newcastle so he stop getting linked to Saints every time we get a bad result simply because he lives close by.

Interesting to see how he will get on at a club other than Bournemouth especially with the amount of pressure he will be under to get instant results.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't think he'll translate well to the north at all. Gone by summer (if he joins).

He should wait for Portsmouth to get into the Championship and then do that.

[niko_cee]

Hasn't he already been spooked by THE NORTH once already (at Burnley)?

[Jimmy Floyd]

People often underestimate how big a difference in sporting culture and mentality there is. He strikes me as a gentle, nurturing sort, a bit like Graham Potter. The north wants harder men with an edge. Imagine he's a rugby man, would he work in league? Not a fucking chance, but he'd be great at Harlequins.

[Giggles]

Both excellent.

I know how you appreciate a good Dad joke.

[Giggles]

The photo :drool:


1455860622688759812


Gone by next August.

[-james-]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buq9P9zoBr0

How have I not seen this before.

[Ian]

Because you were living but half a life.

[Shindig]

If Howe goes through then you'd think the smart money would be on Newcastle being a Manchester United style laughing stock for a few years.

What rock have you been living under? We’ve been a laughing stock for the last decade.

[-james-]

What rock have you been living under? We’ve been a laughing stock for the last decade.

I dunno. I reckon for most people it's been mostly pity. It only becomes funny when there are six five sums flying about every transfer window.

[Kikó]

People often underestimate how big a difference in sporting culture and mentality there is. He strikes me as a gentle, nurturing sort, a bit like Graham Potter. The north wants harder men with an edge. Imagine he's a rugby man, would he work in league? Not a fucking chance, but he'd be great at Harlequins.

Does the inverse ring true as well with someone like Sean Dyche managing Tottenham or QPR?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Does the inverse ring true as well with someone like Sean Dyche managing Tottenham or QPR?

Yes, I think so. Obviously it doesn't apply to everyone, e.g. I'm sure Bobby Robson would have done well anywhere. But I think as a generalisation there would be a lot more arm-around-shoulder duties in a southern culture than there would in a northern one. Howe strikes me as a man who would be good at that. Chivvying up Ben Mee, maybe less so.

[Danny]

1455896196107624454

[-james-]

1455915028738154498

Is this an attempted Paddy Power stunt? Surely no accredited journalist is that thick.

[Giggles]

He’s definitely a bit of a character but I love how awkward/honest he is.



https://youtu.be/t2C0H8xDM_o

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why is Suarez on the Anfield boo list? Have I forgotten something?

[thommo]

Mitrovic with his 19th of the season, what a ridiculous run he's on. Could see him hit 40 at this rate.

[Luke Emia]

Why is Suarez on the Anfield boo list? Have I forgotten something?

He was doing his shot-house routine last time he was here with Barca mate. I just said to my missus though you can love his shithousery for four years and then complain when he does it to you.

He is what he is. But, he’s also still the best player I’ve ever seen play for the club and I include Salah in that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They're booing Trippier now so I guess they just need someone to boo.

All Dutchmen are terrible people, but Danny Makkelie must be one of the worst. Give your head a wobble you preening bastard.

[Lewis]

Mitrovic with his 19th of the season, what a ridiculous run he's on. Could see him hit 40 at this rate.

How have Fulham kept him all this time?

[thommo]

He was out the door if Scott Parker had stayed. But he's still on big money, he's clicked with the style Marco Silva has brought (not to mention he's the focal point of the attack) and he's said he loves living in London with his family.

[Luke Emia]

How have Fulham kept him all this time?

He’s also far too good for the Championship but not quite good enough for the Premier League.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fulham is as good as it gets for a pro footballer. Adored by around 30,000 quite polite people. No real pressure. Live in the nicest area of the country and one of the nicest in Europe.

[Lewis]

He must be mid-table quality, but I figured it must have something to do with wanting to ponce around West London on big money.

[Luke Emia]

Klopp needs to get Mane off now.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Heads have gone alert in the Atletico ranks.

[Smjffy]

This ref is awesome. :D

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm sure Peter Walton was talking absolute bobbins then. Since when do two yellow offences add up to a straight red?

[Waffdon]

I see Varane is out for a month again after doing his hamstring in. He’ll be retired by 31

[Don]

He’s also far too good for the Championship but not quite good enough for the Premier League.

This seems lile a strange myth doing the rounds. He bosses defenders at EPL/international level equally and always has done, last season was a Parker shitshow.

[Don]

I see Varane is out for a month again after doing his hamstring in. He’ll be retired by 31

Another spazboy donnage. What a season it's been for the poor lad :D

[Shindig]

Yeah, I wouldn't hold last season in much stead. He'd probably bang them in like Toney.

[Baz]

Why is Suarez on the Anfield boo list? Have I forgotten something?

Must be a large cohort of spastics in.

[randomlegend]

Must be a large cohort of spastics in.

Liverpool home game, sort of goes without saying.

[Boydy]

Oxlade-Chamberlain's been decent tonight. Encouraging to see.

[Boydy]

Oxlade-Chamberlain's been decent tonight. Encouraging to see.

He's gone down straight after I posted this and is now limping. :face:

[niko_cee]

All Dutchmen are terrible people, but Danny Makkelie must be one of the worst. Give your head a wobble you preening bastard.

I've not seen the red card incident, but going off the live text, isn't it one of your case in point should be a red card situations where a player just cynically kicks/trips another player with no regard for the ball [which usually gets a knowing 'taking one for the team' yellow card]?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I posted that many moons before the red card, but yes and no - it should be (for me, Clive) but by current rules I don't think it was much of a red. 'Soft', perhaps.

[Dquincy]

I enjoyed the red more so because Felipe did that thing where they ignore and disrespect the ref after being asked to come back to speak with him.

[Don]

The Greek's delivery makes Trent look like a BLM Tony Hibbert. I don't want to see that fucking exhausted Scottish tramp in our line-up until we face some actual opposition and need to defend (so semis).

[niko_cee]

That red card is amazing.

I'm all for that sort of petty shithousery being stamped on [both the snidey trip, not a red, and the refusal to go and see the ref, lol].

[John Arne]

Yeah, I usually defend refs with the amount of shit they have to put up with - but I've never been a fan of referee's demanding a player walk 40 metres towards them like some naughty schoolboy. Just wave the yellow card at him and get on with it.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T40KucQP4y8

[mo]

Can't just wave the yellow at them, ref has a duty to make sure they see it. Hence why they wait patiently for players to get up off the floor and then book them. Otherwise could be grounds for appeal 'didn't know I'd been booked the first time/in that game, guv'.

[John Arne]

I mean you can talk and make eye contact with someone without them being stood 2 feet in front of you. But yeah, I get your point.

[Gray Fox]

he’s also still the best player I’ve ever seen play for the club and I include Salah in that.

What is this blasphemy?

[Dquincy]

Word is that Eddie Howe has signed a deal to join Newcastle.

[Shindig]

Howe-aye, the lads. :moop:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4tUVOqLJ0w

I think he died the other week. :D

[Lofty]

Howe is renowned for his transfer acumen so this should be interesting :D

[Shindig]

We bought them.

[Dquincy]

I think I'm the only one here who believes he's going to be a decent manager for Newcastle. Could have done a lot worse. Plus it's good to have someone who can manage Championship quality.

[Giggles]

He'll feel that one tomorrow.


1456680111990784012

[Shindig]

Oof. I think the ref was reaching for a card but I bet it was yellow. :D

[Don]

Is Smith not facked? They look largely hopeless. Chucking on dogshit kids and Keinan Davis ffs.

[Don]

Grealish benched, City to rape them.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I honestly can't think of a footballer less enjoyable to watch than Cristiano Ronaldo. He's just a complete me-me-me ponce.

[Gray Fox]

United miss the first chance, the other teams walks it back up the other end and scores. 2nd time in 2 weeks.

[Waffdon]

Bailly :D

Better with Phil Jones.

[niko_cee]

City need to play it cool here, don't want things getting out of hand.

[Don]

Strange that cause Bailly was getting mad plaudits for similar desperate last-gasp challenges against Atalanta owing to his horrific positioning in midweek :rasta:

Bruno's work-rate in closing the cross too. You absolutely love to see it.

[Dquincy]

I honestly can't think of a footballer less enjoyable to watch than Cristiano Ronaldo. He's just a complete me-me-me ponce.

Literally one of the best players to grace this planet and you do not enjoy watching him play football. Mentalist.

[Gray Fox]

I get what he means. As great as he is or has been, Cristiano does demand it be the Ronaldo show.

[Dquincy]

Shame De Gea has found form again, he's their best player. Keeping them in this so far.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not much defending on show today at the theatre of erstwhile dreams.

[Adramelch]

I hear Steve Bruce is available and can organise a defence.

[Yevrah]

You’re being harsh on him there Adra, you’ve missed out good manager. A manager that nobody wants admittedly, but good manager nonetheless.

[Giggles]

I flicked on livescore expecting to see 3 or 4 nil.

[Waffdon]

Why isn’t Rashford playing? He’s what you need on the break if you’re playing this way. Scores for fun against City too

[Waffdon]

What the fuck was that :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Gray Fox]

No idea how that’s squeezed in.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lol.

[Shindig]

Zidane in.

[Waffdon]

Shaw was an absolute mess there

[Yevrah]

I’m sadly missing this. Another first half special from the binman?

[Don]

He's gone, isn't he? What a run we had though. Get me Zidane, Poch or the ghost of Shankly, ain't no one making a success out of the likes of Maguire, Shaw and AWB so I reckon a few more years of lol to milk.

[Lewis]

Honestly who thought 'giving him the Tottenham game' was a solution? If the club aren't bothered about competing why should anyone watch them?

[Gray Fox]

I’m sadly missing this. Another first half special from the binman?

Liverpool beat them the Klopp way. Pressing and direct play.
City are giving them death by possession.

Before he flapped at that De Gea has kept it from being 0-4 at HT again.

[randomlegend]

Can't watch it as I'm at work but Oleout

[Yevrah]

I’ll take that comment as a yes.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They are a similar shambles as vs Liverpool, would be at least 4 down if City could finish. Just cannot and will not defend, and the only chance down the other end is Ronaldo snapshots.

[Mellberg]

Grealish benched, City to rape them.

NARRATIVE is slowly turning here. If you'd have stuck John Lennon in the Osmonds he'd have been shit too.

[Yevrah]

One thing I have noticed lately is that not content with hiding behind ‘the players’, the gutless pundits have now started to bring coaching teams into the equation too. Needs to stop.

[Dquincy]

My comment on De Gea might have come too soon...

[Jimmy Floyd]

To be fair (whoever's responsibility this is) the defensive personnel for United is dogshit. Wan-Bissaka, Shaw, Maguire, Lindelof and Bailly is mid table wank. To make that into a top 3 level defence you need a good manager.

[Lewis]

One thing I have noticed lately is that not content with hiding behind ‘the players’, the gutless pundits have now started to bring coaching teams into the equation too. Needs to stop.

Carragher and Souness were openly laughing at Neville flailing around blaming 'coaching' and 'training' after Liverpool.

[Don]

Jesus, what the fuck did I just watch?


https://youtu.be/sQ_ljcVXnUI

Someone do some analysis of the racial demographics of the cast of that please.

[Yevrah]

Southgate’s managed to make Shaw and Maguire look competent though, although admittedly against teams you couldn’t have hand picked better for them to face.

[Adramelch]

I think you lot are overreacting. Just wait for the infamous game-changing subs from OGB in the second half and problem solved.

[Lewis]

Jose Mourinho got eighty-one points with Young/Jones/Smalling/Valencia as his regular back four.

[Don]

Why's Sancho coming on, City don't play a low block.

:happycry:

[Shindig]

Jesus, what the fuck did I just watch?


https://youtu.be/sQ_ljcVXnUI

Someone do some analysis of the racial demographics of the cast of that please.

100% People. Especially the poodle.

[Mellberg]

Jesus, what the fuck did I just watch?


https://youtu.be/sQ_ljcVXnUI

Someone do some analysis of the racial demographics of the cast of that please.

I like how the black girl in the chicken place is the boss, unlike the board of whoever commissioned this which will be a load of white blokes from Yorkshire.

[niko_cee]

That first half was pretty brutal. Sad times as it's hard to see how Ole survives this unless City pull out one of their lol halves which I suppose they have managed before.

Their defence is a bit of a rabble, but someone like Tuchel could probably get it working (as he did with a perhaps higher baseline rabble at Chelsea).

[-james-]

This has been painful to watch.

[Don]

Same as our 2nd half except they ain't down to 10 :D

[Lewis]

This is every half.

[Mellberg]

At least Conte's still available.

[Manc]

Peak Barca would have comfortably put double digits past this mob.

[Gray Fox]

City almost look bored.

[Don]

The cheers for a useless milkybar kid :D

[Lewis]

Who is the best manager that you could actually appoint until the end of the season? Nobody say Zinedine Binman because he isn't solving anything.

[7om]

Big Sam would sort this defence out. Maybe.

[Mellberg]

Dean Smith is about to become available.

In all seriousness, Conte is a real missed opportunity. Now out of work at the min...Favre? Fonseca? Might be able to get small pockets?

[Lewis]

Didn't Alex Ferguson lumber you with Alex McLeish? Enjoy it. Arsene Wenger as caretaker for a trademark run to fourth and an FA Cup. :drool:

[Shindig]

Dean Smith is about to become available.

In all seriousness, Conte is a real missed opportunity. Now out of work at the min...Favre? Fonseca? Might be able to get small pockets?

It's a really bad time for it. I don't recall a worse managerial merry-go-round.

[Mellberg]

Nothing wrong with Hutton on the right and Heskey on the left.

Paul Scholes with his daughter as assistant.

[Gray Fox]

Ronaldo again kicking a more talented player than him in frustration.

[Jimmy Floyd]

'Bowers & Pitsea' is a new one on me, based on the name I was thinking Spikey country and a quick google maps confirms that to be true. Are we talking epic shithole or TOWIE haven? Those are the only options I reckon.

[Manc]

Stretford End embarrassing themselves yet again.

[Spikey M]

'Bowers & Pitsea' is a new one on me, based on the name I was thinking Spikey country and a quick google maps confirms that to be true. Are we talking epic shithole or TOWIE haven? Those are the only options I reckon.

Pitsea is the shit bit of Basildon (all of it is shit but you know what I mean)

[-james-]

1456982491135369221

Same reason his Celtic deal fell through. Is his top man Barry Bennell or something?

[Lewis]

His infamous twin brother.

[Raoul Duke]

Would have been 5-0 if Pep had bothered buying a striker in the summer. Absolutely wank

[Spikey M]

Hopefully not wank enough for #OleOut though.

[randomlegend]

Dean Smith is about to become available.

In all seriousness, Conte is a real missed opportunity. Now out of work at the min...Favre? Fonseca? Might be able to get small pockets?

Conte would've gone to war with the board within about 10 minutes and it would have been a disaster. That's more a slight against the board than Conte, but since the board aren't going anywhere it would've been a pointless exercise.

Ten Hag seems like the fashionable choice but he won't leave mid season.

[randomlegend]

Nothig left but to give it Giggseh I guess.

[Manc]

Keane going nuclear. :drool:

[Shindig]

1456982491135369221

Same reason his Celtic deal fell through. Is his top man Barry Bennell or something?

He wants his old assistant to come across or something.

[Giggles]

Keane going nuclear. :drool:

I presume at the players because even he couldn’t have the neck to question someone’s managerial talents.

[Spikey M]

He wants his old assistant to come across or something.

Is that not pretty standard? Was his assistant Jimmy Savile or something?

[niko_cee]

Haven't they promised Jones the assistant role [which seems an odd thing to have done]?

[Shindig]

That might be it. He joined us less than a year ago (from Bournemouth, naturally) so he's probably got a hefty contract.

[Lewis]

The Gary Neville argument that because 'world class managers' (he means Mourinho and 'LvG') failed United shouldn't try and get a better one is genuinely one of the most bizarre bits of punditry ever. Has he actually thought it through?

[Spikey M]

He's just backing his mate up. I'm not sure if that's more funny or wholesome.

[Yevrah]

He needs to stop, he’s damaging his credibility.

[Shindig]

Gary Neville has credibility?