March '19 football, featuring DERBIES

[Lewis]

Jose Mourinho would have played a back seven and brought Michael Essien in on a short-term deal.

[phonics]

It's a sign of how quickly football moves on when you've got a midfield three containing a 55 million pound Brazillian, a 33 year old full back and a kid with 25 games to his name yet Fred starting was the thing that surprised me.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

When I saw the team sheet I thought it was a 5 at the back with Fred, McTominay and Andreas as a 3.

If it's what has just been shown, fuck me.

[bruhnaldo]

lets goooooooooo!!!!!!

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Well lol at that.

[bruhnaldo]

thank God for that first goal cause losing 6-0 on aggregate would've been pretty rough for me to deal with

[Giggles]

Fun while it lasted.

[bruhnaldo]

Mbappe was offside man this is bullshit :'(

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That had been coming.

[Lewis]

This has been the longest ten minutes ever.

[randomlegend]

Dalot should have started, Young is absolute gash.

[Shindig]

Someone broke into Rodgers' gaffe and nicked some of his medals. :|

[phonics]

Jose Mourinho would have played a back seven and brought Michael Essien in on a short-term deal.

I've come back from a smoke to see Lukaku has scored and these stats on the BBC MbM:

https://i.imgur.com/eoPoPld.png

Which is a good enough impression of the man.

[Lewis]

Ashley Young is vice Club Knower, so he has to play with Antonio Valencia out.

[mugbull]

Lukaku is looking extra enormous today

[Mazuuurk]

Big Rom.

How is it he during periods seem to need 50 shots to score but at times (like now) cooly slots everything home?

[randomlegend]

:D

This is an absolute banter game.

[Lewis]

lol pepper that dodgy 'keeper.

[Gray Fox]

Buffon :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Cheers Buffon.

[bruhnaldo]

why are they giving me hope

[phonics]

Big Rom.

How is it he during periods seem to need 50 shots to score but at times (like now) cooly slots everything home?

I was intrigued because I have this impression too so I compared him to Kane and Aguero.

(Following is PL only)

He get's the same ratio of shots on target/off-target as Kane (funnily enough, they've both taken around 310 on target shots) but Kane scores 4% more of those shots that hit the target.

However, Aguero, hits the target with his shots significantly less often (5% less) but has a way higher success rate. (Lukaku: 36%, Kane: 40%, Aguero: 42%) so maybe we think this because we see more of Lukaku's shots saved rather than going wide/over etc.?

[bruhnaldo]

How come I haven't heard about Arsenal giving Eddie Nketiah a run out I thought he was supposed to be really good

[phonics]

How come I haven't heard about Arsenal giving Eddie Nketiah a run out I thought he was supposed to be really good

We got knocked out by Spurs and United early on in the cups and have two 50m+ strikers for one position.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

At least the gimp was offside there.

Probably why he finished it so well.

[bruhnaldo]

We got knocked out by Spurs and United early on in the cups and have two 50m+ strikers for one position.

lol ya i guess that makes sense sry

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That corner by Dire Maria was spectacular.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Chong :cool:

'Mon the hair.

[randomlegend]

Surprised Chong came on over Greenwood.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'd be stunned if that's given.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Shiiiiiiiiiiii.

[Lewis]

Lukaku misses this.

[mo]

Whoever it is, is going to miss.

[Lewis]

Rashford misses this.

[Lewis]

MASSIVE MELTDOWN incoming if this holds.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

I thought he was going to smash that over.

[Gray Fox]

Please tell me Neymar is crying.

[Luke Emia]

I hate United but just watching that happen to PSG has to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

[randomlegend]

What a penalty under that pressure.

[Shindig]

Unexpected. PSG can have all the talent but they can't shake the French mentality.

[Bernanke]

Ramos yesterday and PSG today, what a back to back. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:alan:

What fucking scenes.

Get fucked Neymar you twat.

PSG aren't shit.

Give Solskjaer the job, what a don.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Frogtastic.

[Lewis]

That is absolutely immense. Best win in about ten years.

[Raoul Duke]

PSG the ultimate bottlers. Fucking mega penalty from Rashford.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Pan to Neymar crying into his Versace man bag please.

[Gray Fox]

If Neymar cries, please post it here and I'll be having that as my avatar.

[Ian]

Best manager in the world. :drool:

[Raoul Duke]

Lee Grant going ape shit :cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lee Grant going ape shit :cool:

The lad knows he's getting a medal in a couple of months :cool:

[Waffdon]

That was some penalty. That Chong was a mess when he came on.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That was some penalty. That Chong was a mess when he came on.

He just wanted to run as fast as he could as much as he could.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lee Grant going ape shit :cool:

Those guys are the best. I remember Mark Schwarzer saying he wanted to join us not in the expectation of ever playing, but just to experience what it was like at a big club going for trophies. Think we got him a league title. Legend.

[-james-]

Not to go all Gazprom but Champions League knockout ties are the pinnacle of entertainment, every season. Absolute scenes.

[randomlegend]

Reddit going absolutely batshit over the penalty decision. I honestly don't even know what the rule is any more, but he had his arm away from his body and it blocked the shot so I'd have said penalty.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I haven't watched it but I was hoping the penalty is dodgy and UEFA are going to cheat them out every year in lieu of FFP having any bite.

[Dark Soldier]

Never in doubt.

[Luke Emia]

Reddit going absolutely batshit over the penalty decision. I honestly don't even know what the rule is any more, but he had his arm away from his body and it blocked the shot so I'd have said penalty.

I think it’s soft. I’d want it given for my team and I’d be disappointed if it was given against my team.

[Raoul Duke]

Reddit going absolutely batshit over the penalty decision. I honestly don't even know what the rule is any more, but he had his arm away from his body and it blocked the shot so I'd have said penalty.

I'd have been livid if it'd been given the other way. Wasn't a penalty for me (Clive)

[Lewis]

Lukaku circling round to celebrate the penalty in front of Dire Maria. :harold:

[Danny]

I haven't watched it but I was hoping the penalty is dodgy and UEFA are going to cheat them out every year in lieu of FFP having any bite.

https://www.clippituser.tv/c/dngpae

[Raoul Duke]

Still not sure why Ole is dressed as a cameraman :sherlock:

[randomlegend]

One of the commentator's said the interpretation now is if your arm makes your body area bigger and is hit by the ball it's a foul. Is that true? If it is it's a harsh rule but understandable I guess.

[-james-]

It's a laughable decision and that should never be a pen. Still, lol.

[Guybrush]

Surely his right arm wasn't in an 'unnatural' position. If it had hit his left hand then I'd say it was a penalty.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, that's never a penalty. VAR lizards on the right side of morality this time though so who cares.

[randomlegend]

Neymar's fuming on instagram :drool:

[CJay]

At least Buffon stayed cool this year.

[Waffdon]

Reddit going absolutely batshit over the penalty decision. I honestly don't even know what the rule is any more, but he had his arm away from his body and it blocked the shot so I'd have said penalty.

Of course you would have.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just saw the goals on the news, why is Buffon still playing? Embarrassing shite for the second goal.

[bruhnaldo]

He's stared at the ball and turned his body and his arm goes out from his body

does turning your head at the last second really mean that much idk

[John]

Pepe celebrating that by waving a little wooden stool in the air is the most lol event of the night.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's stared at the ball and turned his body and his arm goes out from his body

does turning your head at the last second really mean that much idk

His arm can't be anywhere else and the ball is leathered at it.

[Shindig]

I'd not give it. There's nothing deliberate about it.

[Lewis]

I didn't know Rashford had a load of tattoos. I bet that block of text on his chest is some absolute shit as well.

[randomlegend]

Of course you would have.

Like I would've given a penalty against Chris Smalling at the weekend, yes.

[phonics]

I haven't seen it. Was there nothing between the goal and his arm? In those sorts of cases I'd still give then pen as you've just denied a goal with our own momentum.

[Pen]

He rode his luck in the first game so this was jus comeuppance.

[randomlegend]

I haven't seen it. Was there nothing between the goal and his arm? In those sorts of cases I'd still give then pen as you've just denied a goal with our own momentum.

https://i.redd.it/vv44uqmzqkk21.jpg

There's a video somewhere up thread.

Don't think the shot was on target, but not sure.

[Mazuuurk]

Ole Gunnar Binman should be Ole Gunnar Conman tbh. Manages to somehow coax three goals without having a single ounce of attack in his gameplan :D

PSG are retarded as well. They could have passed the ball back and fourth between their Defenders all game and would have been absolutely fine.

[randomlegend]

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/handball-rules-to-be-redefined-in-bid-to-end-confusion-tg3npvjmb?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1550753151


Roberto Rosetti said officials would penalise handballs if defenders use their arms to make their bodies “bigger” to block crosses or shots

Sounds like this is the rule now. It's a correct call then.

[Kikó]

Manchester fucking united. You never disappoint.

[Lewis]

You been in a coma for six years our kid?

[Kikó]

It still happens lad. Nights in Stockholm, fa cup wins, ending the city fairytale. Ole has just made it more frequent recently.

[bruhnaldo]

I've been drowning in life this week I really honestly needed this win so bad lads. :happycry:

[Kikó]

Get some tears for fears on and party.

[Lewis]

It still happens lad. Nights in Stockholm, fa cup wins, ending the city fairytale. Ole has just made it more frequent recently.

'LvG' diving; 'LvG' calling that reporter 'fat man'; 'LvG' going mental in his end of season speech...

[Kikó]

Lvg was the best part of the lvg era. Shame the football was dire.

[Lewis]

He should be the new Director of Football.

[Kikó]

Isn't that for schmikes?

[Lewis]

I figured they would want somebody who knows what they are doing.

[phonics]

Isn't that for schmikes?

He's too busy doing opposition research on Brendan.

[SvN]

https://i.redd.it/85q0wo2ixkk21.jpg

[Jimmy Floyd]

Well done United but those pricks can all fuck off. Stay in the 90s, losers, and let today's heroes like Rashford and Mike Phelan have their time.

[phonics]

I can only hope they stay out on the piss for the next two days rather than this galvanize them. We didn't even manage to beat them when Moyes was in charge soI haven't got much hope for Saturday.

[igor_balis]

Didn't see the game but that's an immense result.

I have a bit of a half-baked theory, partly inspired by some chat on the football ramble, that at the highest level the likes of OGS and Zidane might actually be more effective than "proper managers" (see also the self-managed Chelsea side under RDM).

I feel like most of the TOP, TOP players can sort of figure out the tactical stuff on their own. A Warnock or Pulis can drag a 20th place quality side to 15th by using the players as pawns in their own Sun Tzu shit, but I'm not sure it's comparable at the top clubs. I think even the likes of Guardiola and Klopp etc get most of their success by just being like the cool uncle to their world class players, and setting the team up in a way to just give the best players room to manoeuvre rather than anything more cerebral.

[Mellberg]

Having the character to control the egos at that level is massively important. Possibly the most important aspect. So yeah, it helps if you're Zinedine Zidane.

[Lewis]

The niko_cee 'Binman in a Club Blazer Theory'. He came up with that in what 2015? Should have written a book.

[phonics]

Lads, it's PSG.

https://i.ibb.co/qMYLF3Q/image.png

Let's not declare the death of coaching quite yet. Weren't Real Madrid further behind Barcelona in the league than Arsenal were City or something ridiculous?

[Jimmy Floyd]

You need either a strong dressing room with compliant/helpful coach (as in these cases) or you need a weak dressing room with a strong manager who runs everything. Weak + weak is obviously shit, while strong + strong leads to situations like Mourinho at Real Madrid, Mourinho at United, Mourinho at Chelsea v.2, Mourinho telling his kids to go to bed, etc etc.

Ancelotti is a genius with big egos, despite his tactics truck rarely getting out of second gear.

Oh and we won the Champions League with Di Matteo and Eddie Newton.

[Gray Fox]

The United run does seem a lot like the one Di Matteo had.

[phonics]

Oh and Didier Drogba won the Champions League with Di Matteo and John Terry.

fixed


The United run does seem a lot like the one Di Matteo had.

Nah, Chelsea didn't play anyone good till the semi against Barca and they were awful in the league.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We also don't have a potential full kit wanker.

[mugbull]

Team no penalty for me

[Yevrah]

I would just like to say that I remember people defending Mourinho by saying the players weren’t good enough as is often the case when a big team plays badly. Unless they’re absolute dogshit, if a team is playing as badly as Utd were under Mourinho it’s always the manager, always.

[igor_balis]

I would just like to say that I remember people defending Mourinho by saying the players weren’t good enough as is often the case when a big team plays badly. Unless they’re absolute dogshit, if a team is playing as badly as Utd were under Mourinho it’s always the manager, always.

I agree, but i think there's a sorta proviso that it's not necessarily the manager's "fault". Like it isn't a clear "it was the players being shit/dickheads" vs "mourinho lost the plot" dichotomy. If that makes sense.

[phonics]

I would just like to say that I remember people defending Mourinho by saying the players weren’t good enough as is often the case when a big team plays badly. Unless they’re absolute dogshit, if a team is playing as badly as Utd were under Mourinho it’s always the manager, always.

Didn't Sacchi or someone say at best a manager can make a team 10% better than the sum of it's parts but a bad one can make them 50% worse?

[niko_cee]

That was amazing. Can't think for a better way for PSG to go out.

VAR is going to wreck football. Away from the comedy handballs that always look 100% deliberate in slo-motion (I'd have given that one last night, but I wouldn't say I was impartial) the game is going to be (even more) about falling over convincingly in the opponent's penalty area, cf the other tie.

What was the deal with the 9 minutes of added time? I'm sure the penalty incident happened after 90 minutes, and it was taken on 93, so at most they should have added another 3 and not 6.

[Baz]

I miss Jose. :(

[Kikó]

.

What was the deal with the 9 minutes of added time? I'm sure the penalty incident happened after 90 minutes, and it was taken on 93, so at most they should have added another 3 and not 6.

I think every red in the country was shouting blow your whistle. Definitely an element of giving them a chance to level it and even DDG decided to take the piss with a comedy punch out.

[Kikó]

1103431081217482752?s=19

[niko_cee]

Yeah, the De Gea thing was mad. The PSG defender climbing all over the back of someone and then going down looking for a penalty was more gold.

Please be a Manchester Derby in the quarters.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was amazing. Can't think for a better way for PSG to go out.

VAR is going to wreck football. Away from the comedy handballs that always look 100% deliberate in slo-motion (I'd have given that one last night, but I wouldn't say I was impartial) the game is going to be (even more) about falling over convincingly in the opponent's penalty area, cf the other tie.

What was the deal with the 9 minutes of added time? I'm sure the penalty incident happened after 90 minutes, and it was taken on 93, so at most they should have added another 3 and not 6.

It's going to be like DRS in that everyone will suddenly realise that about 50% more penalties should be given than are given, and so you're going to be playing for them. It wouldn't surprise me if set pieces come back into vogue as there's no real way of reliably defending against them other than committing fouls which are usually ignored.

[Yevrah]

Absolutely no way was that a deliberate hand ball. :D

Have we reached the stage yet where every single offside is checked by VAR?

[randomlegend]

Absolutely no way was that a deliberate hand ball. :D


According to the guidance refs have been issued, it doesn't have to be deliberate to be handball. You can disagree with the rule, but the ref called it correctly.

[niko_cee]

I think the arm needs to be in a slightly more elevated position to really fit with the guidance (the arm is, afterall, always going increase the silouette of the body somewhat) but, at the same time, he was jumping to block the ball, the arm was a bit away from his body and it blocked the ball.

Much less clearcut than Otamendi's the other week, given the range and arm position.

It's going to end up a strict liability thing and we'll be back in 1998 (or was it '94?) with Roberto Baggio dinking the ball into defenders hands from 1 yard away

[thommo]

It's clearly not deliberate, and that should be the end of the debate. The shot is definitely flying over, so the fact it hits his hand and goes off for a corner is an advantage for United, if anything. It's a very fortunate decision and normally I'd be peeved that United have benefited, but this is definitely a case of them being the lesser of two evils.

[Max Power]

Are we going to see more of that ridiculous arms behind the back attempting to block pose now? That seemed to disappear for a while. Surely a more “unnatural” position than Kimpembe there.

[Ian]

Even aside from it benefiting United it's a lovely double-whammy of punishing defenders idiot enough to turn their back on the ball and making Neymar seethe so I'm all for it.

[SincereTheRebel]

Even aside from it benefiting United it's a lovely double-whammy of punishing defenders idiot enough to turn their back on the ball and making Neymar seethe so I'm all for it.

Ive been preaching this for years. That is the biggest problem. Most of the shots would be blocked if they kept thier eyes on the ball, like a goalkeeper.

The only acceptable way to turn your back to the ball.

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/EarnestGrotesqueHoneybadger-size_restricted.gif

[Lewis]

You need either a strong dressing room with compliant/helpful coach (as in these cases) or you need a weak dressing room with a strong manager who runs everything. Weak + weak is obviously shit, while strong + strong leads to situations like Mourinho at Real Madrid, Mourinho at United, Mourinho at Chelsea v.2, Mourinho telling his kids to go to bed, etc etc.

Ancelotti is a genius with big egos, despite his tactics truck rarely getting out of second gear.

Oh and we won the Champions League with Di Matteo and Eddie Newton.

Dressing Room. Full of Quality and Characters.

[Mazuuurk]

Absolutely no way was that a deliberate hand ball. :D

Have we reached the stage yet where every single offside is checked by VAR?

I mean yes, VAR are constantly re-checking everything that's of any major impact to the game aren't they? If the offside amounts in a goal, then they always make sure, I guess. If it doesn't amount to anything, then why bother.

It was like yesterday when there was a review about whether the ball was in play or not about 30 seconds before Ajax scored or something when they were launching their counter. How far back in time do you go? If a foul was neglected 5 minutes ago and the ball hasn't gone out of play, should a subsequent goal be ruled out?


It's starting to get really evident that there needs to be some clearer guidelines and maybe rule clarifications if VAR is to be implemented consistently over all the top competitions (is that even financially viable?).

I was a big fan at first, but I'm less certain now. It's like, you can (most of the time), never really "argue" with VAR decisions. But it fundamentally changes the game, it'll become like Basketball or something in a few years unless theres some adaptation done.

[niko_cee]

In the VAR world the handball test needs to be 2-stage:

1 - is it clearly intentional? Yes, penalty (foul), no, go to 2,
2 - does the defender or defending team gain a clear advantage* from the handball? Yes, proceed to sanction, no, no further action

*this envisages shots on target being blocked, balls travelling to opponents being blocked, situations where you gain control of the ball etc as events where the defending (handballing) team gains an advantage.

It should, obviously, then be applied all over the pitch, which may or may not be problematic. Probably not so much as the disproportionate nature of the sanction to the offence doesn't exist outside of the penalty area.

[Manc]

When there's room for interpretation the wrong decision can always be made.

[Ian]

I had a half-thought out notion earlier that you could just do it so that if the ball hits the hand (unless it's directly in front of the player's body) it's always penalised, if it's stopping a shot on target it's a penalty if not (a cross, say) it's an indirect free kick but that doesn't really work either. All you're doing is moving the judgement call to a different part of the action and you're left with the same problem.

I think the only solution is to chop professional outfield players' arms off and provide them with prosthetics for when they're not playing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I would just admit defeat, cancel all future football and play handball instead.

[Yevrah]

I agree, but i think there's a sorta proviso that it's not necessarily the manager's "fault". Like it isn't a clear "it was the players being shit/dickheads" vs "mourinho lost the plot" dichotomy. If that makes sense.

If the players are being dickheads/not playing it's the manger's fault.

[Yevrah]

It was like yesterday when there was a review about whether the ball was in play or not about 30 seconds before Ajax scored or something when they were launching their counter. How far back in time do you go? If a foul was neglected 5 minutes ago and the ball hasn't gone out of play, should a subsequent goal be ruled out?

This is the sort of thing that I've always rallied against it for. If you're going to use it for everything then you can't stop play for anything until that period of play has come to a natural end.

If that natural end is a goal then you then end up with a wait before anyone can celebrate the goal. Which is shit and will ultimately end up happening a lot, particularly when officials rely on it more and more. Which they will as it's human nature to.

[Waffdon]

https://i.imgur.com/a0hu2rj.png

That doesn’t half look odd.

[phonics]

Does it? I’m not sure PSG even existed when a few of those clubs did it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

All those football (footie) banter accounts should be marched outside and shot. Almost all of them doing it for some kind of monetary objective too.

[phonics]

Sokratis is going to get caned but I think I’ve seen Ozil complete three passes and Aubameyang maybe one.

[Disco]

Whilst you should have had three or four by now that red card is mental.

[randomlegend]

https://www.skysports.com/football/news/11667/11657988/man-utd-fan-stabbed-in-paris

People are such shitheads :/

[Waffdon]

That’s disgusting!

[Giggles]

Is this a second leg?

[Jimmy Floyd]

The 44-year-old was travelling back to the city centre after the game with three other supporters when the driver took offence to them singing in celebration of United's dramatic late winner.

Unlucky to find the one bloke in Paris who actually gives a shit about PSG.

[phonics]

The form difference between home and away is just on another level. It's been years now.

[niko_cee]

Scenes on La Rue de la Soif (https://www.tourisme-rennes.com/en/discover-rennes/drinkers-alley-rennes) tonight no doubt.

[Waffdon]

Hudson Odoi might take over from Hazard. Some boi

[Lewis]

Doesn't seem your type.

[Manc]

How on earth is Mustafi playing at this level?

[Jimmy Floyd]

We have been genuinely good for the last four games, save for half an hour against Fulham. Most of it is down to Jorginho not being absolute dreck because teams have stopped putting a man on him for some reason.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/european/neymar-psg-var-penalty-champions-league-manchester-united-a8812301.html?amp

:harold:

[Mazuuurk]

I love how Neymar deep down knows that moving to PSG for the cash was a stupid move in terms of ever winning stuff and his career in general, but somehow tries to hold on to the idea that PSG might win stuff just as much as Barca might in some sort of sad self-justification.

[Ian]

There may not be a nobler cause in football than to make Neymar unhappy.

[SincereTheRebel]

I love how Neymar deep down knows that moving to PSG for the cash was a stupid move in terms of ever winning stuff and his career in general, but somehow tries to hold on to the idea that PSG might win stuff just as much as Barca might in some sort of sad self-justification.

Neymar gets to much heat for the PSG move. You have to ride for your team. He cant be still dickriding barcelona or any other team. Since his time at PSG, he has won more trophies than he would have if he stayed at Barcelona. But somehow it was a stupid move. He can surpass Zlatan if his timeing and decesions are correct. That sounds like a good career path for me.

[Mazuuurk]

You are fucking nuts son.

"Surpass Zlatan" :D

Fucking go check yourself.

[SincereTheRebel]

Course he can. The leagues around europe are less competative than ever. You can go to italy and england and get into teams that will win league titles. Easy work.

[Gray Fox]

There may not be a nobler cause in football than to make Neymar unhappy.

I can fully get behind this cause.

[phonics]

Announced that White Hart Lane won’t be White Hart Lane. It’ll be The Nike Stadium.

[Mazuuurk]

Just Bottle It.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Announced? It's been claimed by Richard Keys and since denied

[Spikey M]

They've been trying to sell the naming rights for ages, but nobody would meet their price. Because, you know, Daniel Levy.

[phonics]

The form difference between home and away is just on another level. It's been years now.

So I've felt this for the last couple of years but I assumed it wasn't that big a difference between previous years. Figured we'd floated around the same points total having dropped a couple more points away from home and picked them up at home but at this point our home form is literally keeping us in the league. I found that on home form alone Arsenal would have finished 3 points behind Man City and away from home been 2 points above relegation.

Here's the form tables from every year from 2013/14 onwards. It's mental.

https://i.imgur.com/J3wqwwH.png

[Lewis]

You would think the club was infested with absolute fannies going off those numbers.

[Bob Sacamano]

Claudio Pizarro leading the line for Werder Bremen at 40. Stunning.

[Manc]

Ranieri back in Italy. :drool:

[Mellberg]

https://i.imgur.com/a0hu2rj.png

That doesn’t half look odd.

And inaccurate. Missing Dundee.

[phonics]

Are you pished mate it's above Villa?

[Mellberg]

Are you pished mate it's above Villa?

That says Dundee United you plank.

[phonics]

That says Dundee United you plank.

I've just done the posting equivalent of Michy Batshuayi. Went for what I thought was a certain back of the net and then.


https://hips.hearstapps.com/digitalspyuk.cdnds.net/18/26/1530268776-batshuayigif.gif

[Waffdon]

And inaccurate. Missing Dundee.

Probs because it was before PSG existed.

[Giggles]

:drool:

1104308776679682048

[niko_cee]

Cracking win, but with both teams now ostensibly safe Sky are going to have to think of another feature to pad-out half-an-hour of build-up with. They must have run the little 'why don't Brighton like Palace?' segment every time they have played in the League.

[Shindig]

Ki gets the nod ahead of Shelvey who doesn't make the squad. I'm sure he's not knackered so I wonder if he's away in the summer.

[Shindig]

Well, fuck all of this. :moop:

[Offshore Toon]

Our record against Everton is so bad.

[Disco]

Southampton have perhaps the worst forwards of anyone in the league (how is Shane Long still starting at this level) and still Spurs have gifted them a 2-1 lead.

[Offshore Toon]

Fucking mon

[Waffdon]

Spurs and Everton are a right laugh.

[Shindig]

We really needed that. Cardiff getting the wind up them can do one. And Southampton.

[niko_cee]

Just need a fucking Burnley win tomorrow for everyone of the threatened teams to have won this weekend.

:cab:

I suppose, on the flipside, defeat for Burnley puts them right back into the mix down there.

What's 7 changes for Watford all about? Have they drafted in Arsene Wenger as a caterer?

Spurs dragging themselves right back into the shit with results of late. G'wan Jurgen, stick a bid for Son in whilst they're on the ropes.

[phonics]

1104424225404788736

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just need a fucking Burnley win tomorrow for everyone of the threatened teams to have won this weekend.

:cab:

I suppose, on the flipside, defeat for Burnley puts them right back into the mix down there.

What's 7 changes for Watford all about? Have they drafted in Arsene Wenger as a caterer?

Spurs dragging themselves right back into the shit with results of late. G'wan Jurgen, stick a bid for Son in whilst they're on the ropes.

It's like one of those old Spanish relegation battles where Recreativo Chorizo and Atletico Torremolinos get cut off by miles early doors, and then another twelve teams end up locked on 37 points going into the last weekend.

I remember the year Barcelona almost got embroiled in that, just before they hired Rijkaard.

[niko_cee]

A mention of a Spanish relegation battle (and the attendant "little suitcases") is a nice segway into Watford's team selection, or rather, it would have been had this plan not seemingly been working reasonably well for them.

Sorry Elton, that's me jinxed it.

[niko_cee]

Scored as I typed that.

:D

[phonics]

A mention of a Spanish relegation battle (and the attendant "little suitcases") is a nice segway into Watford's team selection, or rather, it would have been had this plan not seemingly been working reasonably well for them.

Sorry Elton, that's me jinxed it.

Went to go check the score after seeing this post and it was already 1-0. Impressive.

[niko_cee]

A bigger suitcase went into the referees room at halftime.

[niko_cee]

Fantasy captain.

:cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Small pockets bottling the top 4 would be incredible.

[Boydy]

A mention of a Spanish relegation battle (and the attendant "little suitcases") is a nice segway into Watford's team selection, or rather, it would have been had this plan not seemingly been working reasonably well for them.

Sorry Elton, that's me jinxed it.

segue


I bet Liverpool lose tomorrow.

[Giggles]

segue


I bet Liverpool lose tomorrow.

Jaysus I don't bet but even I'll take that one.

[niko_cee]

Liverpool's home form against Burnely hasn't been that great over the last few years (couple of draws I think) and it's odd how certain teams seem to perform similarly over prolonged periods (Palace and Watford being two other examples at either ends of the spectrum for Liverpool). I reckon it'll be a gritty game.

Actually, on the repeat performance front I seem to recall Watford getting absolutely fucked by the offside rule against City last season (albeit it at home when they got pumped 5-0).

[Andy]

Southampton have perhaps the worst forwards of anyone in the league (how is Shane Long still starting at this level) and still Spurs have gifted them a 2-1 lead.

They are all terrible. Spent 20m on Carillo who is awful, Long who can run a bit and Austin who needs 10 chances to score.

It's a good job Redmond and JWP have started scoring really.

If we could get a 10+ a season striker in we would be mid table, as it is we are aiming for 17th.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I still want us to raid for Ward-Prowse as a set piece specialist. Bet he could do the Jorginho job just as well as the original.

[Ian]

Bit harsh on JWP that.

[Spikey M]

Don't you have a transfer ban in place?

[niko_cee]

I still want us to raid for Ward-Prowse as a set piece specialist. Bet he could do the Jorginho job just as well as the original.

Surely very much a thing of the VAR future.

Him, Harry Maguire and let the rest take care of itself.

[Reg]

Cracking win, but with both teams now ostensibly safe Sky are going to have to think of another feature to pad-out half-an-hour of build-up with. They must have run the little 'why don't Brighton like Palace?' segment every time they have played in the League.
The Knockaert goal. :drool: You just know he's gonna milk it with the fans at the end of the game as well. What a likeable little scamp. (Although should he have been sent off after 15 seconds?)

I thought we played well and looked a lot more solid than pre-Huddersfield. Dunk and Duffy seem to be back to their usual selves. The game probably suited us - Palace have the ball, and aren't particularly suited to having it all the time, and we can defend the lead.

Like you I was a bit miffed seeing the other results. But Burnley dropping down there, and it being one week closer to the end of the season with the same five point cushion isn't the worst situation.

[igor_balis]

Big Dave sacked. Outsiders will understandably slate the Albion for it and the fans are quite divided but I think it's the right call. Shouldn't have been hired in the first place.

Top top bloke but his naivety and lack of strategy totally underlined by bielsas Leeds dicking us. Loyalty to players he liked very frustrating - Robson kanu is League one. Persevered with brunt as ineffective centre mid for about three months and playing Gayle as winger to get him and Rodriguez in the team is like how id set up teams on cm as a child .

[Andy]

I still want us to raid for Ward-Prowse as a set piece specialist. Bet he could do the Jorginho job just as well as the original.

He's one of those players that other than the odd free kick does nothing to really influence a game. Hopefully Hassenhuttl continues to get the best out of him.

[niko_cee]

I'd imagine it's seriously WINDY at Anfield today.

:uhoh:

[SincereTheRebel]

I'd imagine it's seriously WINDY at Anfield today.

:uhoh:

Drizzle could also play a factor.

[Baz]

Ffs.

[Gray Fox]

When your luck isn't in those go against you.

[Jimmy Floyd]

A Birmingham fan just ran on and punched Jack Grealish. I need to leaf through my draconian punishments book.

[Waffdon]

Christ, he proper went for him too. Must have got ideas from the Hibs fan.

[Disco]

Remaining a Birmingham fan seems appropriate enough.

[John Arne]

No idea why the ref is letting Burnley take so much time to do everything. If he continues to let them get away with it, they'll continue to do it.

[Shindig]

Decent turnaround. The best thing Liverpool can hope to do is get some daylight.

[Gray Fox]

2 of the most bizarre goals I've seen in a while and Mane proving he's much better when he doesn't have time to think

[Clunge]

Grealish donning it by just staying totes cool. I wouldn't fuck with Jack Grealish. He's absolutely nails.

'Mon the Villa.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's always been a player I've loved watching. One of those mavericks who needs to be at a small enough team (or bad enough team rather, soz Mellin) that he can be the main man. A bit like Wilfried Zaha.

[Clunge]

Yeah, he's an intriguing player to watch. He dances around like some kind of woodland imp yet never shies out of anything. No shinpads either. Don.

[Giggles]

Yeah, he's an intriguing player to watch. He dances around like some kind of woodland imp yet never shies out of anything. No shinpads either. Don.

Child's shinpads. He wouldn't be allowed play with none.

[Lewis]

You have to imagine that bloke will get some sort of exemplary sentence. A couple of years inside or something, and probably bans from everywhere. What an absolute pleb.

[Boydy]

The players should have just kicked the fuck out of him. Let that be a warning to anyone else who tries it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

There is also an issue with the club not being able to protect players from assault whilst on the pitch. They might be watching their last home football for a while.

[Pepe]

I also don the children shinpads when I play. Socks not pulled all the way up too. I am pure class.

[Mellberg]

Points deduction so gets filled in by his fellow supporters please.

[Giggles]

What's gone on? Please tell me someone has stabbed Klopp :drool:

EDIT: ah, wrong game. Why are you all watching a championship game?


.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What's gone on? Please tell me someone has stabbed Klopp :drool:

A fan ran on in Birmingham v Villa and lamped Jack Grealish from behind. Luckily didn't connect flush but it might well have done.

[Mike]

1104716654603366402

[Giggles]

Jesus, if you're going to do that then at least make it count. That was rubbish.

[Gray Fox]

What's gone on? Please tell me someone has stabbed Klopp :drool:

EDIT: ah, wrong game. Why are you all watching a championship game?


.

1104716890889379841

EDIT: Never mind, Mike beat me to it.

[Shindig]

They should let the players get after him in those situations. Dig into him with their studs and spikes.

[Clunge]

Just jail him. Jail + lifetime ban. It's simple enough. Can see Birmingham getting hit with Sanctions™ too.

[Mike]

They should let the players get after him in those situations. Dig into him with their studs and spikes.

Like in wrestling if a fan gets in the ring :cool2:


https://youtu.be/FZXyYxhpOXc

[-james-]

He's always been a player I've loved watching. One of those mavericks who needs to be at a small enough team (or bad enough team rather, soz Mellin) that he can be the main man. A bit like Wilfried Zaha.

I don't get the Zaha thing. He played about thirty minutes of league football for United at the age of twenty one (under Moyes) and gets plastered as some sort of pleb who couldn't hack it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't get the Zaha thing. He played about thirty minutes of league football for United at the age of twenty one (under Moyes) and gets plastered as some sort of pleb who couldn't hack it.

I think it's fairly logical from watching him play at Palace (where everything goes through him and he has almost total freedom to express himself in an otherwise structured team) that if you put him in a side where he needed to fill a disciplined role and there were many equal or superior talents around him, he wouldn't necessarily be as effective.

I guess you don't know until you try, though.

[Boydy]

Liverpool winning when Henderson not starting.

https://emojipedia-us.s3.dualstack.us-west-1.amazonaws.com/thumbs/120/apple/155/thinking-face_1f914.png

[Clunge]

And Grealish gets the goal :beer:. Lad.

[Mellberg]

Spicy in Birmingham today lads. Karma's a bitch :eyemouth:

[Spikey M]

So's Jack Grealish by all accounts. :henn0rz:

[Giggles]

For the haircut alone, it's a pity he didn't connect properly and knock him out.

[Spikey M]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/47515993

Top quality Zulu's jacket mate.

[phonics]

Did anyone see the steward getting escorted out by the coppers for trying to have another few go's at him?

[Jimmy Floyd]

These are the games where Maurizio has a couple of quickies on the bench over Jorginho's square passing, and everyone else falls asleep. We need Ruben or whoever on the pitch just to make it less predictable.

[Waffdon]

Did anyone see the steward getting escorted out by the coppers for trying to have another few go's at him?

Aye, noticed that. Was confused when I initially seen him being dragged away.

[Disco]

Like in wrestling if a fan gets in the ring :cool2:

I've watched enough wrestling that I was surprised when this didn't happen.

[Waffdon]

Hazard is really pathetic at corners. As with most other professional players.

[Waffdon]

Some defending, that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Classic example there of why Sarriball is shit. Possession gets turned over and all you have going back is a slow cunt who with no physical attributes whatsoever, so the defence is completely exposed. It's bad football and he shouldn't be coaching at a top club.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We were very lucky to get anything out of that. Possession and shots stats are so irrelevant, should have been an easy defensive win for Wolves and they blew it at the end.

[SincereTheRebel]

Wolves should have held out for the win. Super disapointed to see the game end in a draw. Chelsea are really bad. Hazard to refresh Real Madrid in the summer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If they come in with £200 million then we should sell. We can spend the money on buying shares in Arsenal or something.

[Waffdon]

De Gea didn’t half fuck that up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Seen a few people do that at backward point in my time, less so for relatively tame shots into the centre of goal.

[SincereTheRebel]

Lukaku and Koscielny do have some great battles together.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's a penalty.

Sokratis is a lumbering oaf.

[Lewis]

Why not just maintain formation and have Ashley Young as the left-sided attacker rather than the defensive waste?

[Lewis]

Back to His Best.

[Giggles]

1104789624336072705

[SincereTheRebel]

Four goals on his debut after he ruptured his spine.

[Lewis]

It's ten Japanese feet, so probably like six normal feet.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Why is he taking a touch there ffs?

Cracking pass by Rashford.

[Lewis]

Two sitters, and one 'should have scored' bombed. Someone run on and cheap shot him.

[SincereTheRebel]

phonics I thought arsenal stopped playing shit youngsters. That maitland-niles is dreadful

[phonics]

@phonics (https://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/member.php?u=1) I thought arsenal stopped playing shit youngsters. That maitland-niles is dreadful

He's the 3rd/4th choice right back. He's not been great recently but seems a bit unfair to judge him on it.