January Football 2019 bitches

[Pleb]

Premier League (3pm kickoffs unless stated)
01 January Everton - Leicester City 12:30
01 January Arsenal – Fulham
01 January Cardiff City - Tottenham Hotspur 17:30
02 January AFC Bournemouth - Watford 19:45
02 January Chelsea - Southampton 19:45
02 January Huddersfield Town - Burnley 19:45
02 January West Ham United - Brighton & Hove Albion 19:45
02 January Wolverhampton Wanderers - Crystal Palace 19:45
02 January Newcastle United - Manchester United 20:00
03 January Manchester City – Liverpool 20:00
12 January West Ham Utd - Arsenal 12:30
12 January Brighton - Liverpool
12 January Burnley - Fulham
12 January Cardiff City - Huddersfield Town
12 January Crystal Palace - Watford
12 January Leicester City - Southampton
12 January Chelsea - Newcastle Utd 17:0
13 January Everton - Bournemouth 14:15
13 January Tottenham - Man Utd 16:30
14 January Man City - Wolves 20:00
19 January Wolves - Leicester City 12:30
19 January Bournemouth - West Ham
19 January Liverpool - Crystal Palace
19 January Man Utd - Brighton
19 January Newcastle Utd - Cardiff City
19 January Southampton - Everton
19 January Watford - Burnley
19 January Arsenal - Chelsea 17:30
20 January Huddersfield Town - Man City 13:30
20 January Fulham - Tottenham 16:00
29 January Arsenal - Cardiff 19:45
29 January Bournemouth - Chelsea 19:45
29 January Fulham - Brighton 19:45
29 January Huddersfield Town - Everton 19:45
29 January Wolves - West Ham 19:45
29 January Man Utd - Burnley 20:00
29 January Newcastle Utd - Man City 20:00
30 January Southampton -Crystal Palace 19:45
30 January Liverpool v Leicester City 20:00
30 January Tottenham - Watford 20:00

League Cup (EFL, Milk, Coke whatever) Semi Finals
8/9 January Tottenham - Chelsea 20:00
8/9 January Man City - Burton - 19:45
22/23 January Burton - Man City 19:45
22/23 January Chelsea - Tottenham 19:45

FA Cup Third Round (3pm unless stated)

4 January Tranmere Rovers - Tottenham 19:45
5 January Bournemouth - Brighton 12:30
5 January Burnley - Barnsley 12:30
5 January Man Utd - Reading 12:30
5 January Sheffield Weds - Luton 12:30
5 January Shrewsbury - Stoke 12:30
5 January West Brom - Wigan 12:30
5 January West Ham - Birmingham 12:30
5 January Accrington Stanley - Ipswich
5 January Aston Villa - Swansea
5 January Bolton - Walsall
5 January Brentford - Oxford Utd
5 January Chelsea - Nottingham Forest
5 January Derby - Southampton
5 January Everton - Lincoln
5 January Fleetwood - Wimbledon
5 January Gillingham - Cardiff
5 January Middlesbrough - Peterborough
5 January Blackpool - Arsenal 17:30
5 January Bristol City - Huddersfield 17:30
5 January Crystal Palace - Grimsby Town 17:30
5 January Newcastle Utd - Blackburn 17:30
5 January Norwich City - Portsmouth 17:30
6 January Fulham - Oldham 14:00
6 January Man City - Rotherham 14:00
6 January Millwall - Hull 14:00
6 January Preston - Doncaster 14:00
6 January QPR - Leeds 14:00
6 January Sheffield Utd - Barnet 14:00
6 January Woking - Watford 14:00
6 January Newport County - Leicester 16:30
7 January Wolves - Liverpool 19:45

Also AFC Asian Cup (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2019_AFC_Asian_Cup#Group_stage) football this month. Something something about Liverpool.

[Boydy]

Why are the bulk of the games on the 2nd? I thought New Year's Day was always the big football day?

[niko_cee]

Presumably because they played quite a few games yesterday/tv/the way the days have fallen over Christmas/new year.

[Reg]

Only one home game in January for us and it could be a thumping (Liverpool). As long as we beat last season's 1-5 it'll be another sign of the club's progress. :cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/46700310

West Ham have signed Nasri.

[Spikey M]

Lol

[Vercetti]

A lesbian fresh off of a doping ban. :drool:

[Shindig]

We're losing comfortably on Wednesday.

[Trancemeister]

Have Pereira played as winger before or is it a one time thing today?

[Max Power]

He’s played there a handful of times yeah. Apparently he did a fair bit at Nice as well. Doesn’t mean this isn’t a horrifically negative team selection with very little attacking threat.

[Bob Sacamano]

Have Pereira played as winger before or is it a one time thing today?

From my FM playing days he used to be a winger by trade.

[Max Power]

Both teams are hanging here. Never seen so many misplaced passes.

[Mazuuurk]

So these threads are basically like sex in relationships now?

Before we had them every week, maybe even several times a week, and occasionally with multiple cheeky thread starters, but now we're just resigned to a monthly thread?
Pretty soon it descends into just a yearly thread, and we convince ourselves it probably best because we're a little too tired to type anyway, as it were.

[Kikó]

If you don't like it fuck off /giggles

[Giggles]

If you don't like it fuck off /giggles

Fucking hell, triggered aren't we?

Cool it down lad, you're supposed to be on holidays. Surely enough people have thought you're a cock that this couldn't be winding you up that tight.

[Kikó]

Aw Snowflake upset. 😪😪 It's ok baby.

[Giggles]

Aw Snowflake upset.  It's ok baby.

Right so. Top work there.

[Kikó]

How about we have a good mass?

[Giggles]

How about we have a good mass?

I don't even know what to say now. It's teetering towards pity at this stage.

Great stuff?

[niko_cee]

Long live the Marco Silva revolution at Everton.

God they're bad.

Isn't this exactly how it went for him at Watford? Start well, fade to shite?

[Giggles]

Long live the Marco Silva revolution at Everton.

God they're bad.

Isn't this exactly how it went for him at Watford? Start well, fade to shite?

Wasn't Everton sniffing that turned it all to shit at Watford?

[Manc]

The only thing Silva brings to the table is a well fitted coat.

[niko_cee]

Wasn't Everton sniffing that turned it all to shit at Watford?

That was the narrative, but maybe his sides are just shit after an initial bounce.

[Mazuuurk]

Slagging off homosexuals in one thread, checking out coat fittings in another


:sherlock:

[Jimmy Floyd]

They are 1-0 down at the moment but Leeds are a brilliant team to watch. They could come top eight in the Premier League next year with the right signings. Bielsa is a genius.

[Pleb]

Woking's three nil win against Hampton and Richmond has put Torquay on the ropes.

We're going to win the division on goal difference at this fucking rate.

[Mazuuurk]

They are 1-0 down at the moment but Leeds are a brilliant team to watch. They could come top eight in the Premier League next year with the right signings. Bielsa is a genius.

Eh, they seem a distinct top 9 side to me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They are 1-0 down at the moment but Leeds are a brilliant team to watch. They could come top eight in the Premier League next year with the right signings. Bielsa is a genius.

The guy is a fucking legend. Goal down and a man sent off, any other manager in this country tries to shut up shop and hope to nick one. Bielsa's gone 1-4-4 and there's the equaliser.

[Pepe]

Bielsa is a fucking legend.

[mugbull]

We’re playing the same team that choked on Wolves cock, minus Davies. Fucking tragic. No chance we win this one

[Kikó]

That was the narrative, but maybe his sides are just shit after an initial bounce.

Sort of my feeling about him. I think he'll get the chop soon and he'll don La Liga or Belgium.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Can't get much luckier.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Eriksen is so classy.

[mugbull]

I cant remember any team with as obvious a weak link as Spurs with Trippier. He’s consistently the worst player in nearly every game he plays

[Baz]

Pulisic to Chelsea confirmed. €64M. To take Hazard's number 10 jersey?

Loaned back to Dortmund for the rest of the season.

You missed him, Jurg. I'm sure the unbeaten season and league trophy will ease the pain. :happycry:

[mugbull]

He’s not even playing for Dortmund any more, 60+ for a bench player is some fucking sum

[SincereTheRebel]

The emergence of Sancho makes that a super deal for Dortmund. The play in the same postions (I beleive...)

[SincereTheRebel]

Fabregas is close to joing Hnery at Monaco

[phonics]

Pushing your academy product out the door to Bayern Munch for 20 million quid while signing someone from Dortmund 2 years older than him for 70 on no doubt massive wages. Mentalbb

[SincereTheRebel]

Pushing your academy product out the door to Bayern Munch for 20 million quid while signing someone from Dortmund 2 years older than him for 70 on no doubt massive wages. Mentalbb

Who are you talking about?

[Amigo]

Hudson-Odoi, presumably.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's the most Chelsea thing of all time. Pulisic gets us in the US market though (they are obsessed with this).

I'm going tonight, can't wait to see us put 1000 passes together and lose 3-1.

[SincereTheRebel]

https://i.imgur.com/1sCnGPu.png

[Baz]

:lol:

[niko_cee]

I thought Pulisic looked decent in that friendly in the summer, but if the plan is for him to succeed Hazard then those are some pretty big shoes (and shorts) to fill. Not sure he's up to that yet.

As Jimmy says though, there are other factors at play.

[SincereTheRebel]

Wolves are supposedly in for Tammy with a view of a loan deal with the option to buy for £18m. Tammy would be mad to leave Villa at the moment if you ask me and considering the price of players these days. Chelsea would be stupid to accept that deal. Tammy isnt good enough to don a Wolves shirt anyway.

[thommo]

Abraham was pretty poor last season for Swansea, he was on the bench for a lot of the season and really failed to live up to the hype after his good year with Bristol City. He's hardly going to be better than Jimenez in that system.

Fulham supposedly in for Gary Cahill on loan. Slow, but will bring some much needed experience to the back line if true.

[Byron]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/46700310

West Ham have signed Nasri.

The most 'West Ham' signing imaginable. I'm just glad we have him on a one year contract.

[SincereTheRebel]

Six months too long

[Ian]

Wor Andy is starting! How many minutes until he gets injured?

[Shindig]

He'll last longer than our defence.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Phil Jones is having a stormer...

[Waffdon]

Chelsea are the most boring team in world football with Sarri.

[mugbull]

Redmond is fire

[Vercetti]

Atsu makes Michail Antonio look composed.

[Lewis]

Bless Juan Mata, trying his little heart out keeping up this new and improved dynamic paceball.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bournemouth/Watford sounds fun.

3-3 already.

[Vercetti]

I've got Bournemouth and Watford to draw.

Pack it in, you slags.

[Baz]

The United shirt looks absurd with white shorts.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That pass by Lindelof was quality.

Shame Rashford went mong mode.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The greatest supersub of all time showcasing that he can make supersubs too :cool:

[Vercetti]

Fucking Wolves. :moop:

£77 win was on. Bah.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fucking Wolves. :moop:

£77 win was on. Bah.

Spurs fucked me hard last night. I won money from them but had the scored a fourth (Kane grabbing a second ideally) I'd have won about £300.

Martial not scoring here has hurt me.

[Lewis]

As if Mourinho was not playing Victor Lindelof all this time.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Shlevey is such a dirty cunt.

[Bernanke]

That was one of the worst counters I've seen in some time, but somehow Newcastle is even worse at defending.

[Manc]

Dyche revival. :drool:

[Shindig]

Back into it. :moop:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

1080577492765814795

Not even a yellow...

[randomlegend]

The Lindelof yellow was one of the most ridiculous I've ever seen.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We were fateful dogshit tonight. The crowd are one more of these shitathons from turning on Sarri. He's turned us into one of those Italian sides from the 70s. Slow shite and Jorginho is the worst of it.

Still, at least I got to watch Jon Moss referee live.

[ScousePig]

I've got a season ticket this time around. It's been fun and I haven't seen us lose yet, though that might change at Charlton on Saturday.

It'll come as no surprise that League One, just like the Championship, is far more enjoyable than the Premier League.

[randomlegend]

NGL I'm starting to want OGS to get a go at the permanent job.

[Giggles]

If they keep going as they are and finish top 3 or something, he'd surely have to be the main candidate.

[Queenslander]

Id would like to be excited for the Asian Cup but playing against Arab countries is the most rage inducing experience that I have no interest in until the Semis.

[John Arne]

Id would like to be excited for the Asian Cup but playing against Arab countries is the most rage inducing experience that I have no interest in until the Semis.

I'm going to the opening game. UAE v Bahrain. What a shitter.

[Queenslander]

I'm going to the opening game. UAE v Bahrain. What a shitter.

While sober? You poor bastard.

[Baz]

Hope someone has the number for Manchester Police? Cos there's gonna be a rape tonight. Poor Zinchenko won't know what's hit him when Trent's finished.

Robbo vs Danilo won't be much cleaner either.

Can't wait!

[SincereTheRebel]

Bayern Munich have made a third bid for Callum Hudson-Odoi according to SSN at over £30m

[phonics]

Ramsey to Juve is done. They might try bring it forward by offering as a 47 year old Sami Khedeira.

[SincereTheRebel]

Defoe is off to Rangers with Gerrard

[Baz]

There are some rumours about Andy Robertson's wife being in labour with their second child so he's not travelled, but apparently they're untrue. :yn:

Milner's back anyway, but I'd rather have Robbo tearing Danilo (or Walker, lol) a new one.


Defoe is off to Rangers with GerrardStrange one. Morelos seems awesome.

[John]

He is, but he has games where it just will not happen for him and Lafferty isn't a reliable enough goalscorer to come on in those games and win them. I'd back Morelos to set up about five for Defoe by the end of the season too, his style of play is very well suited to having a proper poacher up there with him.

Assuming his legs aren't completely gone it's a wonderful signing.

[Giggles]

He'll score piles there.

[Kikó]

City better win today. Although it's quite funny seeing Pep floundering about despite spending shedloads.

[Ian]

I kinda don't mind either way. The unbearableness of Liverpool fans giving it the big'un will be balanced out by the satisfaction of Pep looking glum.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sky are showing a showreel of some old Liverpool v City goals, and there's one in which Robbie Fowler (playing for City) stabs one in at the far post, before wheeling away with arms aloft and going absolutely mental. Why do you never see anyone else do that against their old club? There's something quite endearing about it.

[mugbull]

Adebayor’s was the best ever

[Jimmy Floyd]

Oh Jesus, Adebayor's thing is in my top 10 Premier League moments along with the beach ball goal and a top 8 Mike Dean highlights reel.

[niko_cee]

Liverpool: Alisson, Alexander-Arnold, Lovren, Van Dijk, Robertson, Henderson, Milner, Wijnaldum, Mane, Salah, Firmino.

Hendo.

:sick:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Adebayor's celebration was stunning.

The seethe painted on the Arsenal faces was glorious.

[niko_cee]

City have gone with either one fullback in a back 4 or some sort of mental back 3 with Sané (?) as a wingback? Who knows.

[Mike]

Hendo.

:sick:

Hendo Magic!

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sky are saying Laporte at left back, which does make some sense in that you'd want Danilo tracking Robertson on that side, whereas Salah is not as dangerous going on the outside as he is on his left.

[SincereTheRebel]

Sky are showing a showreel of some old Liverpool v City goals, and there's one in which Robbie Fowler (playing for City) stabs one in at the far post, before wheeling away with arms aloft and going absolutely mental. Why do you never see anyone else do that against their old club? There's something quite endearing about it.

Most players are weird. I dont like it either. All celebrations should be inzaghi levels of excitement

[niko_cee]

Sky are saying Laporte at left back, which does make some sense in that you'd want Danilo tracking Robertson on that side, whereas Salah is not as dangerous going on the outside as he is on his left.

Aye, but didn't they do that at Anfield in the Champions League last season?

I reckon it's going to be some sort of madman 3-5-2 which reflects the shit-or-bust feeling City seem to have about this (not sure why). They went 3 at the back in the same fixture last year, so hopefully Mané doesn't kick anyone in the head this time.

[-james-]

Who have Sky got doing the build up? I need info before I decide whether it's trudging through to put the telly on.

[-james-]

Looking at the line-up, I reckon it's one of Pep's lol overthinking jobs he always pulls out in big games that ends up going tits up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Who have Sky got doing the build up? I need info before I decide whether it's trudging through to put the telly on.

Souness and Joleon Lescott.

[SvN]

Looking at the line-up, I reckon it's one of Pep's lol overthinking jobs he always pulls out in big games that ends up going tits up.

Is it? It looks fairly normal to me. What am I missing?

[-james-]

Souness and Joleon Lescott.


He's not even joking, folks.

[Waffdon]

Laporte at left back is the best possible outcome. Hopefully Sane turns it on.

[-james-]

Is it? It looks fairly normal to me. What am I missing?

Laporte left back?

It's the same idea as what he put out in the two Champions League games last season, actually, and that didn't go too well.

[SvN]

Who would normally play there? Delph is suspended.

[phonics]

That was with Sane super wide and forcing all play from Gundogan to Sane which got blocked off.

[Waffdon]

Laporte left back?

It's the same idea as what he put out in the two Champions League games last season, actually, and that didn't go too well.

He’s played left back multiple times though. The kid who they’ve played there is shite and Danilo at left back is just as bad.

[Vercetti]

This will probably be a shitfest.

Hope Man City don it, though.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This 'make the pitch big' shite that results in keepers taking goal kicks backwards is fraudulent. Sarri purveys it for a living but it's Pep's baby.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Ederson tried his best to put that in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Kompany should have gone there, as he should have gone for a similar one against Southampton. He's becoming quite geriatric.

[Trancemeister]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DwA1pPpW0AUyvmV.jpg:large

Thats the closest I've ever seen

[mugbull]

Wijnaldum got the yellow there?

[Jimmy Floyd]

It looked in to me, took them a good few minutes to knock up that fake graphic.

[Mike]

Was more in than the Luis Garcia goal :lol:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The slip BEGINS NOW.

[Waffdon]

Greatest striker this league has ever seen

[Mike]

Bloody Lovren.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm sure van Dijk has been defending for both of them the rest of the game. The only times I've seen Lovren were just then, when Sané breezed past him moments earlier, and his booking.

[niko_cee]

Lovren is such a mong.

Quite how Komapny's not gone for that tackle I have no idea. It's probably a straight red in the wanky 'out of control' modern interpretation before you even get to the fact that he was the last man as well.

[Boydy]

Of course it was Lovren to fuck up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lovren is such a mong.

Quite how Komapny's not gone for that tackle I have no idea. It's probably a straight red in the wanky 'out of control' modern interpretation before you even get to the fact that he was the last man as well.

One of the unwritten rules of football is that the gnarliest defender on the pitch gets an extra card's leeway. Roberto Ayala used to milk this rule to its absolute limit.

[niko_cee]

I was personally a bit surprised he gave the foul, but having done so, well, I suppose that was your other rule coming into effect as well.

[Boydy]

Does Fabinho look like Keegan-Michael Key or am I just a racist?

[Mike]

Our full backs though

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sane is so good.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lovren playing Sterling on :harold:

[Jimmy Floyd]

8/10 finish, little bit too much power though to make the greats.

[Mike]

If we don’t win the league, it’ll be because of Lovren.
If we win the league, it’ll be despite of Lovren.

[Lewis]

Does Fabinho look like Keegan-Michael Key or am I just a racist?

You are a racist.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sterling and now Aguero could have killed this.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I fucking love it when Pep has a good seethe.

The prick.

[Mike]

There must be a defender sitting on a bench somewhere we can bring in to replace Lovren until Gomez and Matip are back in a few weeks. He’s awful.

[mugbull]

Klopp is the only top 8 PL manager that’s objectively bearable

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lovren wanted a third.

[Foe]

There must be a defender sitting on a bench somewhere we can bring in to replace Lovren until Gomez and Matip are back in a few weeks. He’s awful.

Bring back 'flanno'.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Liverpool came for a point and have paid the price. Far too happy with square passes in the first 20 and ceded the initiative. City should have had three or four.

[Lewis]

Phew.

[Baz]

Probably the worst I’ve ever seen Lovren, and it’s a pretty thick catalogue of shite.

It looked like he actually passed to Sterling towards the end there.

[Mike]

Bring back 'flanno'.
Scouse Cafu was a right back.

Ah well: hopefully this result gives us a kick up the arse and we crack on. I thought we’d get beat off Arsenal and draw tonight so we did better than I’d expected this time last week.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Bloody hell, we're only ten points off the vincibles. Sarriball to storm to the title with seventeen straight 1-0 victories.

[niko_cee]

Liverpool came for a point and have paid the price. Far too happy with square passes in the first 20 and ceded the initiative. City should have had three or four.

The Henderson effect.

I have literally no idea what he did for 95 minutes there.

[niko_cee]

Anyway, if you'd offered any Liverpool fan a 4 point lead over, and level on goal difference with, City after this match a month ago they'd have ripped your hand off. At least the invincibles shit can be put to rest.

[Waffdon]

Klopp is the only top 8 PL manager that’s objectively bearable

Wot

[Waffdon]

Fernandinho is a colossal player. 1 against 3 in there.

[Manc]

Massive opportunity missed. Massive.

[-james-]

I thought the game was pretty much bang even over the 90. Liverpool with the better clear cut chances while it was even.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Anyway, if you'd offered any Liverpool fan a 4 point lead over, and level on goal difference with, City after this match a month ago they'd have ripped your hand off. At least the invincibles shit can be put to rest.

Momentum. The bald eagle is coming and he's chucking his cummerbund at the fourth official.

[Foe]

Was Henderson playing today?

Jesus Christ.

[mugbull]

Wot

Wot u

[niko_cee]

Momentum. The bald eagle is coming and he's chucking his cummerbund at the fourth official.

No such thing as momentum in January, particularly not before 10 days off/the cup.

It'll come down to whoever avoids more 'avoidable' draws/defeats in the rest of the season.

I thought Liverpool were pretty decent, and it was a game decided by some pretty fine margins, but that midfield was every bit as stodgy as it was towards the end of last season when they were playing out of necessity. It would be nice if Keita could emerge as some sort of don at some point.

[niko_cee]

Kompany's quote about his own tackle is pretty much bang on:


"I thought it was a great challenge, was it not? I got the ball, a little bit of the man but it wasn't naughty. I didn't try to injure him. It was that or let him go through on goal."

So,once you give the foul . . .

[mugbull]

It’s a professional foul near the halfway line, not reckless enough nor goalscoring enough for a red

[Jimmy Floyd]

I reckon there should be an orange card whereby if you commit another foul in the game it's an automatic red. Some yellows just feel like they're well worth it and that should never be the case.

[SincereTheRebel]

A lot of my friends have never seen Liverpool win a league title in their life time. It needs to stay that way, real talk.

[Adamski]

That was an excellent game, really enjoyed it. Fernandinho makes a huge difference in there and City were quite clinical.

[Boydy]

Manchester City 2-1 Liverpool: Premier League player ratings

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2019/jan/03/manchester-city-liverpool-premier-league-player-ratings

These player ratings from the Guardian seem a bit nuts. Henderson 6 while Milner 4? Van Dijk 5 while Alexander-Arnold gets 7? 4 seems harsh in Alisson as well.

[SvN]

Yeah, they're all over the place. Alison may have done better with the goal, but he did well with some other chances. A 6 would be fair.

Henderson was chasing shadows, no idea why he scored a 6. I also thought van Dijk did well at intercepting a lot of final balls, I'd have him as one of Liverpool's best players.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Van Dijk was my man of the match. People's perceptions are entirely decided by goals/finishing which usually have nothing to do with the rest of the match.

So often on TV you'll hear the commentators describe how Team A is dominating the game, then they concede a random goal, and the narrative immediately switches to Team A's massive shortcomings.

Chelsea v Palace the other day was a great example. We were dire throughout, yet because we managed to force one in and Palace didn't, we were billed as a 'strong, professional performance'.

[John]

The Scottish newspapers are terrible for that. Pretty regularly you'll see a game which either Celtic or Rangers won by three or four clear goals with every player on their team rated lower than the equivalent player on the opposition. The captions on those highly rated players will usually be some variation on 'Had a difficult day but never gave up and ran until the final whistle.'

[Disco]

I always assumed they just made those things up.

[phonics]

I always assumed they just made those things up.

I thought it was well known that outside of L'Equipe they're just made up on the fly 2 minutes before you file your match report.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't know why they bother. I'd much rather read a wdytoe of the match without the pointless numerical rating.

[SvN]

They need the numbers so idiots can say "Alisson had a bad game yesterday" without paying attention, or even actually watching.

[phonics]

I think it was Thierry Henry who called up a journalist absolutely raging after getting a 6 in the newspaper.

[John]

If asked to guess which player had done that I wouldn't have picked Henry, but I'd definitely have gone for an Arsenal player. Perhaps even Wenger on behalf of Denilson or something.

[niko_cee]

What's the deal with Bournemouth and Liverpool? They shelled out a small fortune on Jordan Ibe a few years ago (£15m?) and now they're sending over £19m for Solanke who, despite shwoing signs of promise on occasion, has done fuck all to really justify that level of fee (even if modern football is totally mad).

The I see Real Madrid are spending £15m+ on Diaz from City? Why are they bothering? Will he ever play for them?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Third most expensive Engllish forward after Wor Andy (£35m) and Rooney (£30m).

[randomlegend]

Third most expensive Engllish forward after Wor Andy (£35m) and Rooney (£30m).

Sterling counts as a forward surely? Welbeck was over £15m as well I thought.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sterling counts a winger and Welbeck was £16m:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/29023952

[Ian]

Does £19m even count for anything any more? My cantankerous heart tried to summon a sliver of outrage at some cunt who's never done anything anybody cares about going for nearly £20m but when you got some mop-haired helmet going for ten times that to fart about in France it's hard to pay these things any notice.

[niko_cee]

Aye, but Dominic Solanke for £19m, Callum Hudson-Odoi for offers in excess of £30m all feels a bit tulip bulb mania.

At least take Solanke on loan for 6 months to figure out if he's shit or not, although apparently they couldn't due to the Clyne loan - they'd have been better off buying him).

Hope one or both make their debut(s) tomorrow.

[Jimmy Floyd]

£19 million for Solanke is the price of the betting ticket for him becoming good, in which case as a prized homegrown player he'll be going for £40 million plus and raking in however much in marketing value.

Immediate term football output is really not that important.

Hudson-Odoi is subject to slightly different market forces in that young, quick Engländers are very much the player of choice in the Bundesliga these days as I imagine they anticipate being able to sell them back to the big English sides at huge profits once they have looked amazing against the two-bit German defences for a while.

[niko_cee]

Has anyone ever had a big club - big club - smaller club - big success - big move career?

Lukaku comes close, I suppose, but he was always a bit of a prodigy even if he isn't that good. Solanke hasn't been able to get a game ahead of Daniel Sturridge and/or Divock Origi. I know Ings went for similar money, but at least he has the pedigree of doing something at some point int he past. Isn't all football about the here and now (immediate football output)? Especially at Bournemouth's level?

I was assuming maybe Wilson might be off for some ridiculous amount and this was Bournemouth getting their retaliation before the market did. Wasn't he linked to Chelsea recently?

I totally get the Hudson-Odoi gambit, but it's still mad, and what are Bayern Munich doing playing that game?

[SincereTheRebel]

Is all this because of the England under 19s world cup win when all the players wore their shirts back-to-front like Kriss Kross so the world would remember their names?

[Baz]

Don’t forget about the £18m Danny Ings post-[ma]loan deal.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Isn't all football about the here and now (immediate football output)? Especially at Bournemouth's level?

Not since American-inspired execs started getting involved. If you can persistently avoid relegation, then in the era of the TV money safety blanket, that's all that's required from the here and now. In Bournemouth's case, they probably don't have the scale of setup required to deal with masses of multicultural players, so they stick with the undervalued defenders plus young English forwards model which clearly works for them (David Brooks a glorious signing in this mould). Most other clubs have their own strategy - Chelsea have been running a farm for some years and trying to fund ready-made first team signings by selling people whom it has no intention of ever using in its own squad (other than as a shop window, cf Hudson-Odoi). Newcastle, in the image of Sports Direct, try to do everything on the cheap and bet the house on a really good manager being able to paper over the cracks year after year. Even when they went down, they just trusted that it would only take a year for an excellent manager to get them back up again.

In short, players are not just seen as players now, they are transient money pieces in the wider football market. Watford is the most glaring example, they made at least a £25 million profit on Richarlison in just one season because Everton (a poorly run club, comparatively speaking) were mug enough to pay that for him. The owners can cream off some of that £25 million and the rest goes into further such speculations. Their actual team is fairly irrelevant, they keep Troy Deeney and Mariappa around to sign the shirts and scarves, the rest of them are just dollar bills in yellow kit. All they need to be is good enough to avoid relegation.

The complications that these execs really struggle to deal with are twofold: 1) relegation, which really fucks them off, and does swallow up teams who strategise poorly or have morons in charge (cf Swansea and countless others) and 2) the fact that the coach/manager is much more important in football than the puppet masters would like him to be. Mike Ashley understands this of course and the Fenway people, after some initial mis-steps, clearly worked it out fairly early on too when they splashed out on Klopp.

What I imagine we'll see over the next decade is that clubs will get a lot smarter, all but the best players will stop getting multi-year deals in the second halves of their careers (whoever signs up Aaron Ramsey on big money is making a very poor decision), the strong manager will return (except when relegation looms) and most players will become very, very expendable. They are also desperate to have Football League B-teams to promote more informed speculation, although they'll have to work hard to get that past the FA.

[Ian]

That would make sense because the Moneyballism you're talking about is based on American sports assumes that even the very best* players have a price in a way that used to be less the case for a big team back in't daaaay.

* I suppose even then in American sports (and NFL is the reference point for me) by "best" players I mean skill players. You can get by in the NFL with a professional core of hard cunts and that's often how the best teams really do it but what people see is the quarterbock lobbing the ball to some dickhead who'll fuck off and choose money over success at the first opportunity.

[Baz]

https://www.change.org/p/kenny-dalglish-review-of-100-accurate-goal-line-technology-in-liverpool-v-man-city-game

[Jimmy Floyd]

There are a lot of different and interesting interpretations throughout the league, but you can spot the wankers fairly easily. Swansea appointing Bob Bradley (presumably in an attempt to gain influence over the direction of the team from boardroom level) was one of the worst appointments ever and it cost them their long term future. Everton haven't had a clue what they're doing for a while now, and only their general size keeps them from getting sucked into the bottom dogfight. Sunderland was/is a perfect storm of disaster. Burnley seem to have been somewhat affected by Jonathan Liew calling out their no-blacks-no-dogs-just-Irish recruitment strategy last season, think Dyche might have lost his way a bit.

Of the current clubs I slightly worry about Brighton, they have a good manager who they should keep, but whoever does the recruitment seems to think that Holland is a value market and that makes me a bit nervous on their behalf. The value markets for the PL are those with lots of similar level teams where good players can get buried and then uncovered - French lower leagues, Spanish/German mid table, and our own Championship.

[-james-]

Brighton's recruitment boffins are very good, I think. The problem, if there is one, is that there is no joined up thinking between them and Hughton. You can buy him as many Florin Andones and Yves Bissoumas as you like, but he's still going to keep plugging away with Glenn Murray and Dale Stephens.

[randomlegend]

Chong in the squad for tomorrow :drool:

https://www.manutd.com/AssetPicker/images/0/0/10/246/718460/CD2I211321534778309173_thumb.jpg

Majestic.

[Reg]

Brighton's recruitment boffins are very good, I think. The problem, if there is one, is that there is no joined up thinking between them and Hughton. You can buy him as many Florin Andones and Yves Bissoumas as you like, but he's still going to keep plugging away with Glenn Murray and Dale Stephens.
Not sure that theory works when you consider that he played Izquierdo a lot last season, Bernardo has now become first choice left back, and Propper is one of the first names on the teamsheet.

Then away from the more flashy players, last season Ryan and Gross slot straight in.

Why wouldn't you continue with Murray, by the way? The man scores goals. Stephens is a good player; I'm not sure Bissouma would have been seen as a first choice (he's only 22 for one thing).

[niko_cee]

Brighton have been bang on with their recruitment in the past few years (after the last lot were truly dreadful).

I can only think that Locadia is Jimmy's trigger point for the Dutch market, and yes, forwards from there are a bit hit and miss (and he's been more of a miss, unsurprisingly) - but then there's Propper, who has been very good.

Hughton is just the most safety first, if-it-aint-broke-don't-fix-it manager going. It's going to be 4-4-2. The back 4 picks itself now (Bernardo has been a quality signing, as has Montoya), Stephens and Propper are going to play central midfield (even though Kayal and Bissouma can be ore exciting) because they are reliable, and Murray is going to play upfront until he can't any more because he's still one of the leading goalscorers in the league for a team that scores no goals.

The difficulty might come when the fans stop being happy with staying up and go all Stoke and want the good football, as that isn't Hughton's game.

For the time being they're getting by quite nicely with the model, although it is of limited scope. As Jimmy says, to really go somewhere you need a visionary manager, not Dan Ashworth and a bunch of FM dickheads with their stats.

[niko_cee]

Meanwhile I see Spurs absolutely raped Tranmere tonight.

If they're going to go all meltdown and lose their manager and best players in the summer I'd love to have Son. He's such a quality player.

[-james-]

Not sure that theory works when you consider that he played Izquierdo a lot last season, Bernardo has now become first choice left back, and Propper is one of the first names on the teamsheet.

Then away from the more flashy players, last season Ryan and Gross slot straight in.

Why wouldn't you continue with Murray, by the way? The man scores goals. Stephens is a good player; I'm not sure Bissouma would have been seen as a first choice (he's only 22 for one thing).


I'm not convinced that Hughton has much of a say in the players they bring in. Brighton are clearly spending money intelligently, but the likes of Jahanbakhsh, Bissouma, Locadia etc just don't really line up with Chris Hughton.

[niko_cee]

I always forget about Jahanbakhsh (I'll take your word on the spelling). Can we mark that one down as a play for the Iranian market?

I think you are probably right as regards the recruitment folk, they make quite a big deal of it and Hughton is very much more a head coach than a manager in the classical sense.

[Shindig]

Wild theory time: Kenyon's takeover happens in the summer with Mourinho replacing an outgoing Rafa Benitez. We're doing fuck all business this month.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I always forget about Jahanbakhsh (I'll take your word on the spelling). Can we mark that one down as a play for the Iranian market?

I think you are probably right as regards the recruitment folk, they make quite a big deal of it and Hughton is very much more a head coach than a manager in the classical sense.

I was thinking of Jahanbaksh, Locadia and Propper with regards the Dutch league. 1/3 isn't terrible I guess.

I just worry that the main source of Brighton's success is Hughton's ability to organise a team over a season's length and not anything that could necessarily be replicated without him. They weren't exactly ripping it up before him, after all. But the fashionable way to look at it (as James appears to be doing) would be the opposite in that his pragmatic football is holding them back, but I'm really not sure that's the case.

[Jimmy Floyd]

On another note, this probably isn't an original thought but is Soccer AM's 'Brad Bobley' the worst comedy character ever devised?

[Baz]

On another note, this probably isn't an original thought but is Soccer AM's 'Brad Bobley' the worst comedy character ever devised?Certainly not.

[randomlegend]

I've genuinely no idea whether that should be a penalty or not. I don't think Mata could have got to the ball so it was only ever going to fall to an offside player.

[Lewis]

Get that hair cut you twat.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Yankees used to have a rule about no hair below the neckline and no facial hair apart from a neat tache. English football needs a villainous superheel team and I feel United are perfectly poised to be that team should they so wish.

[Lewis]

I seem to remember Fabio Cannavaro being told to cut his hair when he became Inter captain.

[SvN]

Calling it now, Chong will never amount to anything. He'll be lucky to end up at Ipswich.

[Lewis]

Some hair envy that.

[SvN]

And why isn't Lee Grant starting?

[John Arne]

I am currently mingling With Tim Cahill, Harry Kewell and.... Issa Hayatou :drool:

[Lewis]

Andreas Pereira has been rubbish today. What are his main attributes meant to be?

[SvN]

Spanish and nice side parting.

[randomlegend]

Spanish and nice side parting.

He's Brazilian(/Belgian).

[Lewis]

He looked good in pre-season, but obviously the kickabout intensity flattered him, like when Juan Veron donned the 2002 Amsterdam Tournament before reverting to being shit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Rashford :cab:

[Ian]

A few players who needed a decent game there who did precisely fuck all.

Not that it matters when you've got the best manager in the world, obviously.

[phonics]

Meanwhile I see Spurs absolutely raped Tranmere tonight.

If they're going to go all meltdown and lose their manager and best players in the summer I'd love to have Son. He's such a quality player.

Long shot considering the plights of the current teams but Arsenal need to activate that release clause Aldeweireld put in his contract.

[SvN]

Just doing me bet and checking various club forums for team news. Came across this beauty on a Southampton FC forum.


Derby have only sold 12,000 and have a stand closed. Could be on the dull side. That's surprising given its only £12 a ticket against an attractive big team from the Premier League.

:D Fuck me.

[randomlegend]

Long shot considering the plights of the current teams but Arsenal need to activate that release clause Aldeweireld put in his contract.

It doesn't become active til the summer window.

[phonics]

It doesn't become active til the summer window.

Not sure how that changes anything in the above sentence.

There will be 5k Arsenal fans and 2k Blackpool fans at the game as Fan groups have chosen to boycott the match.

[Giggles]

Not sure how that changes anything in the above sentence.

There will be 5k Arsenal fans and 2k Blackpool fans at the game as Fan groups have chosen to boycott the match.

In a cup game with Blackpool. Way to fight the fight there.

[Lewis]

I've always wondered about the logic of trying to shame a convicted rapist out of the club. Something tells me he doesn't really care what people think.

[randomlegend]

Not sure how that changes anything in the above sentence.

There will be 5k Arsenal fans and 2k Blackpool fans at the game as Fan groups have chosen to boycott the match.

Interpreted as though you thought they should do it now.

[Waffdon]

Ross Barkley wouldn’t look out of place in non league. Terrible footballer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Loftus-Cheek off injured again, I still don't understand how our fans think this guy is some Messiah. He's a perma-crocked blunderbuss wanker.

Reckon we will finish a distant 6th unless major changes happen in January. We just don't have any goal threat with this puritan in charge.

[phonics]

Arsenal are still at their hotel because a Blackpool protestor has climbed on top of the bus and won’t get off :D

[Waffdon]

Loftus-Cheek off injured again, I still don't understand how our fans think this guy is some Messiah. He's a perma-crocked blunderbuss wanker.

Reckon we will finish a distant 6th unless major changes happen in January. We just don't have any goal threat with this puritan in charge.

He was the best player on the pitch by an absolute mile and has looked good all season. You just have issues against him.

[Waffdon]

Hudson-Odoi looks so much better on the right crossing the ball rather than cutting inside and shooting.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He was the best player on the pitch by an absolute mile and has looked good all season. You just have issues against him.

He has good days (very streaky though) but our fans seem to think he is actually world class. He is not. You also have to build the team completely around him because he doesn't do ANY defensive work whatsoever.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The midfield doesn't matter anyway when World Class Morata is exhibiting the sort of clinical finishing that will this year see him pass Messi's calendar year record.

Just look at this little champ, absolutely miles above the Norres Line:

Hasselbaink 177 88 0.497
Diego Costa 120 59 0.492
Vialli 88 40 0.455
Drogba 381 164 0.430
Batshuayi 53 19 0.358
Eto'o 35 12 0.343
Crespo 73 25 0.342
Morata 72 24 0.333
Lampard 648 211 0.326
Anelka 185 59 0.319
Hazard 325 101 0.311
Gudjohnsen 261 78 0.299
Shevchenko 77 23 0.299
Ba 51 14 0.275
Mutu 38 10 0.263
Norres 172 45 0.262
Remy 47 12 0.255
Giroud 40 10 0.250
Kalou 254 61 0.240
Kezman 41 7 0.171
Sutton 39 3 0.077
Fleck 40 3 0.075

[Yevrah]

There are some absolutely shocking ratios in there.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I lost the old master list when one of my previous laptops died, but I resurrected it a few weeks back in order to research whether we actually butcher strikers when we sign them. The findings were (for the above sample) an average of .428 gpg at their previous clubs and .332 at Chelsea, and that's generously including Frank Lampard. So the conclusion was: yes, yes we absolutely murder strikers, and The Operation remains.

[phonics]

I walked back into the room to see one of the makeshift Arsenal back four has got injured in the warmup. Good times.

[Giggles]

Do the BBC not show any of these any more?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Do the BBC not show any of these any more?

They're showing one (Leicester match) tomorrow.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Jay Spearing :sick:

[phonics]

Joe Willock is an absolute non-entity of a player. He doesn't do anything.

[phonics]

Joe Willock is an absolute non-entity of a player. He doesn't do anything.

Perfect timing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Nice one Phonics.

[phonics]

On the end of two deflections, I'm not going to lose sleep over it.

[Shindig]

Watched the highlights of our match. Happy to be in the hat but It's clear we need to concentrate on survival. I miss Sir John and Freddy.

[niko_cee]

I just worry that the main source of Brighton's success is Hughton's ability to organise a team over a season's length and not anything that could necessarily be replicated without him. They weren't exactly ripping it up before him, after all. But the fashionable way to look at it (as James appears to be doing) would be the opposite in that his pragmatic football is holding them back, but I'm really not sure that's the case.

Absolutely this is the case. They were dogshit after a 6 month appointment with Sami Hyypia's European sexy football and Hughton's relentless organisation in the three years he's been there has taken them from the relegation zone in the Championship to midtable safety in the Premier League. The football is rarely sparkling. They probably do have the infrastrucure/location to go on to bigger things but the transition from Hughton to that is going to be tricky to pull off. The chairman's obviously a clever bloke though, even if muppets like Paul Barber being in charge suggest otherwise and they've done everything the right way to this point (cf exactly the opposite to how Fulham have gone about things) so I don't see them going mad and sacking Hughton in anything other than the most dire of circumstances.

Anyway, as to the game yesterday, stroll in the park. Good job Bourneouth only brought Brooks on at halftime. I said to the Bournemouthite I was watching it with that I had no idea he was a central midfielder. Apparently he isn't, jjust came on there and ran the game for the second half. Poor Jordan Ibe, he doesn't half get some abuse down there (oh no, it's him again, end of attack) - a cautionary tale for young Solanke. That Mousset guy has to be gonners as well now. He's awful.

A big clb needs to buy Brooks. He's absolute class even though he has the build and appearance of a 13 year old boy.

[mugbull]

I would love to get Brooks

[phonics]

Seems we've decided to fix our defensive issues by recruiting *checks notes* a winger that has played 20 times for Barca in the last two years. Only 20 million :cab:

[Jimmy Floyd]

The amount of respect shown by Pep Guardiola towards Rotherham in this cup tie is quite inspiring. Just brought Sané off the bench at 4-0 up ffs.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Seems we've decided to fix our defensive issues by recruiting *checks notes* a winger that has played 20 times for Barca in the last two years. Only 20 million :cab:

No link or even name? Just leave the thread mate.

[John]

Seems we've decided to fix our defensive issues by recruiting *checks notes* a winger that has played 20 times for Barca in the last two years. Only 20 million :cab:

You should update your notes. Denis Suarez is a central midfielder, and has been since after he was at Sevilla with Unai Emery.

[thommo]

Fucking hell, I hope that loss today results in some of the gutless cunts playing for Fulham to never see the field again. Shambles. 2 shots on target at home to a League 2 club just sums it up.

[-james-]

India have beaten Thailand 4-1 in their opening game of the Asian cup. Thailand were vastly superior technically/physically but lost because they forgot to field a defence, and because Sunil Chhetri is an absolute don. Most international goals of any active player after today. :cool:

Got to be India's finest result in about fifty years.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Australia's group with Jordan (lost to them), Syria and Palestine, what a draw that is.

Barnet :cool:

[John]

We had Sunil Chhetri on trial years ago, along with another young Indian lad. Neither earned a deal, but I'm sure Chhetri scored four or something in a bounce game.

[phonics]

You should update your notes. Denis Suarez is a central midfielder, and has been since after he was at Sevilla with Unai Emery.


If we have the possibility to sign some important players, we can do it. At left or right wing, perhaps one player can help us in this position. We will only sign players who give us quality.

Unai Emery yesterday.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Then he's an idiot for signing a central midfielder.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There's a Mickey Demetriou playing for Newport :cool:

Probably a high chance that we're related.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Great goal but Christian Fuchs's running these days can only be described as gradual.

This Hamza Chowdury in midfield for Leicester looks a proper player.

[Lewis]

I haven't seen a hand-wringing what keeps Asians out of football article in a while. I see that refugee sensation Chelsea nicked off Celtic when he was probably already twenty-five is tearing it up at nowhere.

[Max Power]

Hamza is only half Asian so I guess the non Asian parent held enough sway to allow him to play football in his teenage years rather than be a pharmacist or lawyer.

We have been rancid here. No pace or invention in the team at all. Get Maddison and Ricardo on at HT.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't understand why he isn't playing the full league side. Barring a complete collapse their league season is over, so why are wankers like Ghezzal getting a start.

[Max Power]

“Busy festive period” or whatever. But really this team should be putting away a league two side all day.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They always say that, 'I picked a team that I thought could beat the local XI at this provincial Brexit-voting hellhole', but why didn't they pick an even better one that could beat it by more?

[Bob Sacamano]

Couple de France in full swing with Marseillle being beaten by Andrew.

[Danny]

https://www.skysports.com/football/news/12096/11600651/wayne-rooney-arrested-over-intoxication-charge-at-us-airport

Rooney :lol:

"Public intoxication and swearing"