Weekend Football: 2-5 February

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've just seen Gary Neville retweet David May promoting a particular brand of sausages, so it's time for the weekend football thread.

Friday
Bolton v Bristol City 8pm Sky

Saturday
Burnley v Manchester C 12.30pm Sky
Bournemouth v Stoke
Brighton v West Ham
Leicester v Swansea
Manchester U v Huddersfield
West Brom v Southampton
Arsenal v Everton 5.30pm BT

A full Football League programme
Foreign muck

Sunday
Crystal Palace v Newcastle 2.15pm Sky
Liverpool v Tottenham 4.30pm Sky
Espanyol v Barcelona 3.15pm Sky

Monday
Watford v Chelsea 8.00pm Sky

[Disco]

What kind of sausages?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Grandad's Sausages.

[Kikó]

I'm going tomorrow and it's going to be bitterly cold. I expect ROM to score as he usually does against the goat herders. We'll see if the bellends at that back get another run out.

[Ian]

Do they go well with the wine that May produces? It was vineyards he bought, right?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm going to Reading v Millwall, now I think of it. A thrilling lower mid table clash at the home of Berkshire football.

[Disco]

Sounds like sex offender slang.

[Magic]

Horrible game for us, can't create jack shit as our two creative players are a) banned and b) dog shit out of form. Playing against a set of horrible Welsh bullying phyiscal shite football cunts.

0-3 to Cardiff.

[Reg]

Cheers, Jim. I assume you're being dragged to the Reading game?

Might need to be six points minimum over the next 3 league games to save us from going down. We've scored more than one once in the last 14 league games, but I think tomorrow's the day. Ulloa off the bench to score the winner in a 2-1.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Someone has a season ticket, his dad can't go and he must have got fucking miles down his reserve list. I quite fancy a drive so I said yes. Plus I like out of town supermarkets and regional airport terminals, so why not visit the football ground equivalent.

[Shindig]

I'm dreading Sunday. We can't draw our way to survival.

[Raoul Duke]

"Michy" donning things already in Germany: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/42926545

Maybe Conte is a massive tool?

[Magic]

Kagawa thereom applies.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Michy will score a goal a game in Germany and you watch Aubameyang score fuck all here. Germany is like Holland, everyone plays wide open and that's perfect for that sort of striker.

A bit like England in the 90s. Remember all our gun strikers? It's because they had space. Today someone like Ian Wright would never get a game, for all his qualities. Defoe the last of his type.

[niko_cee]

Why do the BBC call them Cologne in the story but Köln in the league table?

A team that is hopelessly bottom of the league, for some perspective on "Michy's" quality.

[Lewis]

I remember chucking it out there on the old board that Alan Shearer and Michael Owen were our only properly good nineties strikers and all the forty year olds having a fit. I was like the pioneer for those wankers who call people 'centrist dad' on Twitter.

[Shindig]

What's the caveat? Andy Cole would be there for club efforts.

[Magic]

Put money on 2 and 3-0 Cardiff. Get £36 or £52 back respectively.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I remember chucking it out there on the old board that Alan Shearer and Michael Owen were our only properly good nineties strikers and all the forty year olds having a fit. I was like the pioneer for those wankers who call people 'centrist dad' on Twitter.

Even Owen would struggle these days I reckon. He had a world class period from about 99-02, but even then it was all based on getting behind high defences or those that played him onside. Harry Kane scores at a much higher rate today, has ever been 'through on goal' in his career?

[Giggles]

Put money on 2 and 3-0 Cardiff. Get £36 or £52 back respectively.

Last minute Leeds consolation :drool:

[Magic]

Feel free to quote and lol, but there's no way we're scoring today.

[Lewis]

Owen being consistently quality for England leads me to think he would be fine. Maybe not in a PRESSING team, but he was much more skillful than people tend to remember, so he would easily score thirty a season for someone like United.

[Giggles]

I didn't realise Aaron Lennon was still playing. Did he not go mad?

[Lewis]

I wonder how many more Champions' Leagues United would have won with Nicky Butt anchoring a three man midfield with Keane and Scholes, Beckham and Giggs cutting in from the left and right respectively (and tracking back), and Dion Dublin bringing them all into play.

[John]

Burnley have scored eight goals at home all season. Their fans must routinely die of boredom in the stands.

[Kikó]

I wonder how many more Champions' Leagues United would have won with Nicky Butt anchoring a three man midfield with Keane and Scholes, Beckham and Giggs cutting in from the left and right respectively (and tracking back), and Dion Dublin bringing them all into play.

This happened in an alternative universe. Replace Beckham with Terry Cooke.

[Lewis]

Alex Ferguson goes to a coaching seminar after Euro 96 and gets approached by a young Rafael Benitez, whose radical ideas on defence and fitness coaching earn him a spot on the coaching staff. 'Rafa', as he is still affectionately known by United fans (taking Everton down before coaching England to glory in 2004 and 2006 only solidified his reputation), becomes assistant manager within a year after presenting Ferguson with a list of facts which ruthlessly expose Brian Kidd's previously unnoticed uselessness.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Brian Kidd is STILL on the City staff. It's remarkable.

[Lewis]

His pension pot must be MASSIVE.

[Waffdon]

Ederson :drool:

[Giggles]

Twitter is melting down because Pogba is 'dropped'. It's Huddersfield.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuck.

I was in process of putting £5 on the draw and they score.

[CJay]

Burnley have been excellent today. Sterling's miss shortly before was a shocker, but it's pretty common for him to fluff his lines in those kind of situations.

[randomlegend]

City dropping points, the collapse starts here, were gonna win the league :drool:

Etc.

[Lewis]

You always see Ederson trending during City games because he controlled a difficult pass and people want to look clever.

[CJay]

You always see Ederson trending during City games because he controlled a difficult pass and people want to look clever.

He made a fantastic save from Lennon, which is probably what people were talking about.

[Lewis]

And then he flapped at the winner like a mess. He's Sergio Romero with a longer kick.

[Waffdon]

No ‘keeper is saving that winner.

[Magic]

Sellick. :harold:

Killie had more shots too.

[Giggles]

Didn't know Brighton had bought Hugill.

[Magic]

We bid £8m for him apparently.

Also lol @ Bournemouth.

[Lewis]

'Alexis' needs to do less.

[Magic]

Lol so my 3-0 bet is looking good. Still, down to 10 and another 45 to go. Cash out?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Reading worst team I have seen for many years.

[Giggles]

Reading worst team I have seen for many years.

You should watch one of our internationals.

[mo]

I would, Magic.

[Magic]

Jesus only £8? Cunts. I'll maybe hold until the 60th.

[phonics]

'Alexis' needs to do less.
Has he done the; cut inside for a shot, have that blocked off and run across the entire 18 yard line rather than pass it yet?

That one's a classic.

[Shindig]

Inside the bottom three as it stands. YAY!

[Magic]

Lol Cardiff OG.

[Lewis]

Has he done the; cut inside for a shot, have that blocked off and run across the entire 18 yard line rather than pass it yet?

That one's a classic.

Not yet. It's all about cutting inside and then clipping it to one of the six centre-backs (but he has been good elsewhere). With that, Juan Mata sets up a goal off a cross from the left, which is why 'Alexis' should be on the right.

[Lewis]

Lukaku just donned a defender with a stepover, and I think it might even have been deliberate.

[randomlegend]

I don't think I've ever seen a player for us who gets fouled as much as Sanchez. I know he's a flouncy South American, but it's not even like he's been going down easily.

[randomlegend]

Lucky boy.

[Lewis]

I'm the first one to lol at all things Arsenal, but the way these commentators have been going on about him being 'made for this stage' (and so on) you would think he had been at Lyon or something.

[phonics]

Playing a back four with a front 5 of Aubameyang, Ozil, Mkhi, Ramsey and Iwobi with Xhaka protecting it :D

lol.

[randomlegend]

Yeah I did think that. Although I suppose before that it was only little old Barcelona.

[randomlegend]

Playing a back four with a front 5 of Aubameyang, Ozil, Mkhi, Ramsey and Iwobi with Xhaka protecting it :D

lol.

Sounds like one of my FM formations.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Money on Everton to win and a bit on Walcott and Niasse to score.

3-1 Everton win with Wenger getting a contract extension on Monday.

[randomlegend]

Just saw Pep only named 6 subs because he's in a strop about not getting Mahrez.

What a bellend :D

[Giggles]

Just saw Pep only named 6 subs because he's in a strop about not getting Mahrez.

What a bellend :D

He also made me agree with Gary Neville, so he's also a cunt.

[Lewis]

The best moment today was when Antonio Valencia got himself into what for other players would be a crossing position, stood there for a full ten seconds faking left/right (like he does) as 'Alexis' ran across the edge of the box repeatedly gesturing and shouting for it, and then continued to stand there faking left/right even as he ran past him screaming for it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Who could have possibly known that Mangala is shit?

[phonics]

Even if Koscielny hadn't got there, Aubameyang would have smashed it in anyway. Everton are awful.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fucking lol at that.

This back 5 might be the worst unit ever.

They don't even give a shit.

[phonics]

TBF to Big Sam, they look slightly better than the one we scored 5 past last time.

[Kikó]

The best moment today was when Antonio Valencia got himself into what for other players would be a crossing position, stood there for a full ten seconds faking left/right (like he does) as 'Alexis' ran across the edge of the box repeatedly gesturing and shouting for it, and then continued to stand there faking left/right even as he ran past him screaming for it.

He was infuriating today. Zero attacking ability.

We got lucky that they were so shit because we were seriously lacking any verve.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Great block but Walcott looked like he was going to shit himself when the ball was on his left.

[phonics]

The Arsenal fans giving it the 'Theo, Theo' after that.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Reading must be the worst football club going. Shit stadium with a wind turbine outside, no fans and the ones who do turn up aren't interested. Jaap Stam is clearly a shit manager, nothing tactics and even though they should have been 2-0 down at half time (Millwall had one ruled out which was so far over the line the net was almost rippling), he never changed anything.

Tyler Blackett. Came on for an injured player after 30 mins. The crowd were already booing him hard to begin with, and then he gave a performance of genuine terror - just didn't want to make a decision ever. Entirely at fault for both goals in a 2-0 defeat, the second one being a proper schoolboy nonsense, and then hauled off after 75 minutes to be subbed as a sub, I think to save him from the vicious personal abuse raining down from the stands and uniform booing every time he touched it. I felt a bit sorry for him but at the same time he clearly has no business being a professional footballer. Awful, awful player.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mkhitaryan really could be big for Arsenal.

Offside but nice finish.

[phonics]

Don't care if he's offside. That's a quality finish.

[SincereTheRebel]

Everton are food. They are dreadful. Mangala was rubbish in a man city shirt and nothing has changed.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Xhaka with Everton's best defensive play there.

[phonics]

Mick has more tackles than the entire Everton team.

[Kikó]

Poor Tyler Blackett. Never seen someone look so awkward as a footballer.

[phonics]

Arsenal are 4-0 up and Ian Darke seems quite surprised that Everton are doing better than their usual 18% posession.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It would be brilliant if Cech never gets his 200th clean sheet.

[randomlegend]

That 'Auba' goal was about 300 miles offside, but yeah lovely finish.

EDIT:

https://i.imgur.com/tuuq8Z6.jpg

Like holy moly. To the 'standard of officiating' dossier that one goes.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Calvert-Lewin :cab:

[-james-]

959851804065521666


Imagine not knowing that.

[Giggles]

959851804065521666


Imagine not knowing that.

I didn't know it changed back until recently. It used to be like that.

[phonics]

People getting on him for ruining FM by not knowing this showing that people have literally no idea how video games get made.

[-james-]

Ademola Lookman has just come on for Leipzig with ten to go and won the match with a brilliant goal. :drool:

[Disco]

Even if you thought it had been ruined (it really hasn't) is offside really what swung it for you?

[-james-]

The implication is that he hasn't a clue about football, because anyone that watches football with any regularity would know that rule.

[SvN]

I didn't know it changed back until recently. It used to be like that.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/3033085/FA-dismiss-offside-rule-change.html

15 years later and a lot of people still think this was ever a rule. The Sky commentators have a lot to answer for.

[Kikó]

All about daylight.

[Ian]

So the title race is BACK ON now, right?

[Reg]

We were really good today. Two great goals - Izqueirdo's was beautiful and it's a mystery how he can score those goals and then his next shot be so terrible. It sounded like the majority of the ground laughed at one of his misses. The contrast is just so huge. It's like he's sometimes a Champions League footballer and sometimes a recipient of a poorly funded leg transplant.

13th and level on points with 11th. It's aaaaallll fine.

[Kikó]

Check out the Alexis banner tonight. Pure banterbury.

[Lewis]

He was infuriating today. Zero attacking ability.

We got lucky that they were so shit because we were seriously lacking any verve.

You feel a bit sorry for him really. He clearly doesn't want to have to stray inside, but everyone just wanders off and leaves him with loads of space to cover.

[Shindig]

So the title race is BACK ON now, right?

Didn't City blow a 13 point lead a few years back? Doesn't make our collapse any more bearable, mind.

[Yevrah]

Mkhitaryan really could be big for Arsenal.

It's a flaky, but technically gifted forward at Arsenal. He'll look good for about 6 months and then fade into inconsistent shite.

[CJay]

959851804065521666


Imagine not knowing that.

Nearly as good as Toby not knowing the whole of the ball had to be over the line.

[CJay]

Also Real have dropped points again. :cab:

[Lewis]

Nearly as good as Toby not knowing the whole of the ball had to be over the line.

I still set aside an hour of every single day to lol at that. Fucking fatheaded prick.

[Magic]

If 'Auba' becomes a thing I'm done.

[Ian]

You are bemoaning people using shit words and nicknames? C'mon, man.

[SincereTheRebel]

Also Real have dropped points again. :cab:

I didnt realise it was that bad for them. I didnt know that there were multiple teams between them and Barcelona.

[niko_cee]

It was so good watching the line of twats seething on the bench at the end of that Madrid game.

[SincereTheRebel]

It was so good watching the line of twats seething on the bench at the end of that Madrid game.

When c.ronaldo was subbed off, he was lookinn directly at the camera, pointing, and making comments. I think he said something along the lines of “dont watch me, watch the game” He was livid.

[Giggles]

I'd missed this. Never knew Drogheda was in Yorkshire.

959743604922208256

[Magic]

You are bemoaning people using shit words and nicknames? C'mon, man.

I'm a portmanteau man.

[Reg]

Watching Rolando Aarons' Verona take on Roma. Just seen the most brainless red card for years from Pellegrini (Roma). Violent too. Verona had a counter attack, 2 on 2 but still in their own half and Roma defenders comfortably covering, then Pellegrini runs from behind and sends his studs down the calf of the Verona player. Bizarre. Twenty five to go with Roma 1-0 up.

Also it's about time somebody on here drooled over Izquierdo's goal. I'm warming to him - goals like that, a pet pig, and a Super Mario laugh: the complete player.

[SincereTheRebel]

I'd missed this. Never knew Drogheda was in Yorkshire.

959743604922208256

He should switch his alliance to a.bilbao or new burnley.

[Lewis]

It's always nice when Sky give Graeme Souness the opportunity to crack his knuckles and lay into Newcastle/North East football, but I feel he could go a lot further and just call them a nothing club with too big a stadium giving them delusions of size.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sunderland have a MASSIVE stadium as well, which will be awkward in League One, and frankly so do Middlesbrough. Is football and postal voting all they have up there? Although I saw the nation's first drive-thru Greggs will soon be opening in the region.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That defending was amazing.

Pretty much every Palace player going for it and missing.

[Samadini]

Kenedy and Diame :hail:

[Samadini]

Diame has been so so bad all season, fuck knows what has happened but he's now the best player we've ever had.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Footballers just have too many tattoos now and this game is a great example. What has Zaha put on his neck and why?

I have great respect for those who retain clean skin.

[Samadini]

It's even worse than you might realise as Newcastle have about 4 players in the 11 who are covered in them but have them hidden under long sleeves.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Boruc has a cracker:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/nintchdbpict000004428380.jpg?strip=all&w=960

[Jimmy Floyd]

I think it's just being paid stupid amounts of money but not having a clue what to waste it on. You see a few more tattoos in general society now than you used to, but in pro football it seems to be illegal not to be covered in them.

[John]

Jason Cummings has managed to incorporate his tattoos into his goal celebration. He has a grotesque comic book Joker mouth with 'SMILE!' beside it on his hand and when he scores he runs off covering his face with it. Just smile with your own mouth you fucking twonk.

[Samadini]

Darlow is shit :(

Just bet on Palace -0.25, it's a rape at the moment.

[John]

He's clearly a good athlete but Yedlin doesn't appear to have even a modicum of footballing ability.

[Samadini]

Then on the other side you have Dummett who is not an athlete and not very good at football either. Better defender than Yedlin though.

Sub Darlow off for fucks sake.

[John]

I'm almost certain a look into his history would reveal that Yedlin came to football late after he didn't quite make the cut as a sprinter.

EDIT - Nope. Started playing at four and has been in organised systems since eleven. How can you do something for twenty years and still be that bad at it?

[Samadini]

Our biggest problem is going into games like this with 10 men. Gayle was listed in the starting 11 but he must have had a better offer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This game is like a dramatic reconstruction of an epileptic fit, as I suppose is apt for when these two clubs meet.

[Gray Fox]

45 mins of pure pressing.

Both are going to be tired in the last 10 mins. Should be DRAMA.

[Jimmy Floyd]

For someone who is smashing the season and scoring goals for fun, Salah's decision making remains utterly atrocious. If he got that sorted he'd be the best player in the world.

[Lewis]

Waaaaaay what a wanker.

[Mike]

But then he wouldn’t be at Anfield.
He’s improved, used to miss so many chances.

Getting a bit scary this, hopefully we get through and take more control again.

[Waffdon]

He didn’t even call for that penalty and tried to play on - why’s he been booked?

[Gray Fox]

For someone who is smashing the season and scoring goals for fun, Salah's decision making remains utterly atrocious. If he got that sorted he'd be the best player in the world.

He's amazing when he doesnt have to use his brain.

Spurs are dealing with us the best I've seen anyone do all season. Wont stay 1-0 for long.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He didn’t even call for that penalty and tried to play on - why’s he been booked?

He simulated contact in an attempt to deceive the referee, nothing in the rules about waving your arms or shouting for a decision.

[-james-]

Neville with Torres cum voice lite there.

[Waffdon]

2018 Tony Yeboah, that.

[igor_balis]

Alli is such a gyppo

[Jimmy Floyd]

WHAT A HIT SON but yet more shite from the lazy coward Oxlade-Chamberlain to let him have it.

[Gray Fox]

Just dont chuck it. The draw isn't horrific.

[Waffdon]

That penalty was fucking horrific

[Lewis]

That was a disgraceful penalty.

[Gray Fox]

Exactly why VAR is needed. Offside and he dived.

[Ian]

I see he's getting in practice for potential penalties in the summer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why didn't Karius go off? Clear red, he'd have scored otherwise.

[phonics]

Why didn't Karius go off? Clear red, he'd have scored otherwise.

That law doesn't apply to keepers when it's giving away a penalty. Triple jeopardy.

[mo]

Why didn't Karius go off? Clear red, he'd have scored otherwise.

Well it’s a cop out from the referee isn’t it? He’s not sure he’s given the right decision, so easier to avoid compounding it.

[Gray Fox]

Yeah they decided a few years back it shouldnt be a sending off and a penalty in cases like that.

[SvN]

Have only seen the incident once, but it looked like a clear penalty to me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This last 5 minutes is a great demonstration of why Tottenham Hotspur haven't won the league for 57 years and will never win it again.

[Lewis]

I see he's getting in practice for potential penalties in the summer.

God there's a point. Imagine picking five out of our current idiots.

Kane (miss)
Sterling (miss)
Stones (score)
Dier (miss)

And we're out.

[Gray Fox]

Get fucked!

[SvN]

Dear God that's a beautiful call.

[Lewis]

Get this linesman promoted.

[Lewis]

I'll even take the Liverpool win if Harry Kane misses again.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This last 5 minutes is a great demonstration of why Tottenham Hotspur haven't won the league for 57 years and will never win it again.

And also a great demonstration of why Liverpool will never win it again.

[SvN]

Klopp's face :harold:

[Magic]

:harold:

[Lewis]

Urgh look at Smallpockets' gross little teeth. No wonder he never smiles.

[SvN]

And now 'cheat' chants :drool:.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That linesman has had an absolute blinder. Jon Moss actually had a brilliant match as well. First time for everything.

[Gray Fox]

Spurs deserve at least the draw but yeah. DRAMA.

[Waffdon]

Klopp is really suited to Liverpool. Horrible cunt

[John Arne]

And also a great demonstration of why Liverpool will never win it again.

You must have said this about 20 times this week. Some scouse bird turned you down?

[John Arne]

We didn’t really deserve 3pts, so fair play to Spurs coming back. Second we were awful again - no energy, no shape - just crap.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You must have said this about 20 times this week. Some scouse bird turned you down?

I've said it twice, I'll be saying it every day from now on though. You gain wisdom with age.

[Lewis]

Souness' face then. Probably had it on on election night.

[Waffdon]

You must have said this about 20 times this week. Some scouse bird turned you down?

It’s Liverpool. Why would he need an excuse?

[SincereTheRebel]

The spurs gk dived in the wrong direction for the salah 2nd goal. His body should have been the other way around. Left the whole near post open.

[Mazuuurk]

Watching replays of that Wanyama goal is mesmerising.

[-james-]

The second penalty wasn't a penalty. The first one was harsh.

Salah's second goal was better than Wanyama's.

Liverpool and Spurs will both win premier league titles, probably in the next five years.

[Gray Fox]

I thought I'd be hard pressed to find anyone to say that 2nd pen wasn't one. I guess I was wrong.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The second penalty wasn't a penalty. The first one was harsh.

Salah's second goal was better than Wanyama's.

Liverpool and Spurs will both win premier league titles, probably in the next five years.

Don't think anyone's been as wrong in one post as this for a long time.

[Ian]

God there's a point. Imagine picking five out of our current idiots.

Kane (miss)
Sterling (miss)
Stones (score)
Dier (miss)

And we're out.

Alli is my prime candidate for a bottled penalty if we get to a shootout.

[Gray Fox]

Who is the super-sup who will be chosen to come on to take one?

[Lewis]

Alli is my prime candidate for a bottled penalty if we get to a shootout.

He was up fifth for the glory one, but Joe Hart didn't get close to saving any.

[niko_cee]

I know I'm risking exposing myself as some sort of Toby-esque rules novice, but isn't that first Spurs penalty offside (Carra and the studio seem to think it isn't)?

He's offside when the ball is played forward, he's clearly interfering with play as he forces Lovren to play it (could leave it to run through otherwise) and then gets the ball and gets the penalty. Does Lovren meffing it up really reset the 'phase'? Or is there some bizarre new interpretation where you aren't interfering unless you are the next person to touch the ball? Just seems like when you have one of those ones where an attacking player plays the ball (forward) into a defending player, but it runs through to an offisde player nonetheless, it is still offside isn't it?

[Lewis]

Having just seen a slow gif(!) of the second penalty, he should be banned for diving. Tramp.

[Waffdon]

The second penalty wasn't a penalty. The first one was harsh.

Salah's second goal was better than Wanyama's.

Liverpool and Spurs will both win premier league titles, probably in the next five years.

I still can’t work out if this is a serious post or not.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It was a 'made the most of it' but he still kicked him, much like that Hazard one the other week.

[-james-]

Firmino's put the gaffer in touch with his dentist.

[Lewis]

He was already falling over before any contact had been made.

[-james-]

They're both "dives", and both "entitled to go down". The latter tends to win in those situations which pisses me off. Wet-wipe sport.

[SincereTheRebel]

Salah takes small chucky steps when he dribbles. Its incredible. He takes 4 steps by the time everyone else has taken 2. Its a joy to watch,

[Reg]

Salah's second goal was better than Wanyama's.
Salah didn't have to do an awful lot (by his standards). Vertonghen got done easily and Lloris had a bit of a mare. Wanyama's was brilliant - he had about a square foot to swerve the ball into, every replay is gold.

[Kikó]

Great result. Fuck off Liverpool.

[Weaver]

Vintage BPLSBB action this afternoon.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Salah just jinked past a couple and watched the keeper fall over. Wanyama's was a 1 in 1000 brilliant hit. Normally when black players score such goals they are written off as 'lucky' so no doubt it will be again.

[Giggles]

Did I miss a Klopp seethe? That's MotD on the agenda for tonight so.

[niko_cee]

He was already falling over before any contact had been made.

He isn't so much going down as throwing himself in front of Van Dijk('s boot), but I guess the sentiment is the same.

I suppose to get those two pens against, and have someone score a once in a career wondergoal and still not lose isn't too bad.

[Lewis]

Yeah. It's all one smooth movement, rather than reacting to any contact.

[ScousePig]

Sunderland have a MASSIVE stadium as well, which will be awkward in League One, and frankly so do Middlesbrough. Is football and postal voting all they have up there? Although I saw the nation's first drive-thru Greggs will soon be opening in the region.

Lots of beautiful scenery.

[niko_cee]

Karius' comments are interesting re: saving the penalty, and I, in a completely unbiased way, take them to mean he would probably have saved the second one had it actually been the first, as it should have. Work that one out.

[-james-]

Salah just jinked past a couple and watched the keeper fall over. Wanyama's was a 1 in 1000 brilliant hit. Normally when black players score such goals they are written off as 'lucky' so no doubt it will be again.

It's nothing to do with race, but that's the gist of it. Harry Kane was saying post match that they were on at him after a match recently telling him to stop shooting from miles out because it's shit football.

It does look cool when he gets it right, obviously.

[-james-]

Absolute scenes in Greece. AEK have scored two in the dying minutes to win at the Karaiskaki.

Olympiakos now in third, which can't be right.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's nothing to do with race, but that's the gist of it. Harry Kane was saying post match that they were on at him after a match recently telling him to stop shooting from miles out because it's shit football.

It does look cool when he gets it right, obviously.

In percentage terms there should literally never be a shot from range - which is the limitation of playing percentage football.

[SincereTheRebel]

Salah and other players who represent the Islamic faith. When they score and celebrate, its just come to me that they must already know which direction is mecca.

[Serj]

I hope Klopp's public seethe about refereeing decisions that were at the very least understandable is to an extent deflection from what was a woeful second half from Liverpool. Lucky to get a draw from that. A central midfielder to control the pace of the game is still needed.

[Baz]

Having just seen a slow gif(!) of the second penalty, he should be banned for diving. Tramp.https://thumbs.gfycat.com/EmotionalIdleIndochinesetiger-max-14mb.gif

Grade A bullshit.

[Reg]

I don't really see how it's a penalty unless he catches Lamela on the calf with his boot. Otherwise, van Dijk pulls out and it's Lamela backing into him that causes contact.

[Giggles]

Grade A bullshit.

You could be describing either the dive, or whatever it is that Van Dijk is supposed to be doing there.

[Pepe]

The state of that. :D

[Spoonsky]

I was SEETHING at the end of that - Spurs are all nasty cheating cunts and the linesman needs to know his place. With that said a draw is probably a fair result, and that's only because Salah is brilliant. We were really poor in the second half.

Also, Karius seemed half-decent which is a surprise.

[Danny]

Linesman view of the Lamela challenge.

Grade A decision making.

960226097303576576

[Giggles]

Hadn't seen that one. I retract my dive statement from earlier, that was plain as day in that view.

[Danny]

Other angle makes it look horrible but that shows its stonewall and is top (top top) work from the Lino on both shouts.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I don't really see how it's a penalty unless he catches Lamela on the calf with his boot. Otherwise, van Dijk pulls out and it's Lamela backing into him that causes contact.

He does, and it's a penalty.

I dislike Liverpool and Spurs equally but as ever with Liverpool games, objectivity goes totally out of the window when their hivemind activates upon a perceived inJUSTICE. That Mané red card against City being an all time classic.

[niko_cee]

Other angle makes it look horrible but that shows its stonewall and is top (top top) work from the Lino on both shouts.

So is Kane really not offside for that first one?

[Jimmy Floyd]

So is Kane really not offside for that first one?

Is it not a new phase of play when the defender touches it? Thus rendering the 'initial' phase irrelevant because, by virtue of the ball never arriving where he could play it, Kane wasn't offside.

As in this example:

https://i.imgur.com/bjwS6xD.png

[Spoonsky]

The defender only kicked that ball because of a pass to a player that was offside though. Thus he was influencing the play even before the deflection.

I've reffed ten year olds in Utah so I would know.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He fulfils both the criteria demanded above though (an image I've grabbed directly from the FIFA Laws). By the same logic, if the Liverpool player who got a touch had instead controlled it and then passed it through to Kane himself, you'd still want Kane to be offside but I'm afraid he was on.

This is why ref and linesman were having a debate as to whether the player touched it, as if there was no Liverpool touch (and the linesman couldn't see from where he was) it would have been offside. He flagged up the possible offside after the referee's decision and then the referee confirmed there had been a touch so the penalty could stand - great officiating all round.

[Giggles]

You'd think Liverpool supporters would be more used to shit defending by now and not be blaming officials for it all.

[Danny]

So is Kane really not offside for that first one?

https://streamable.com/pjpmp

Dermot says no as Lovrens attempt to play the ball was a deliberate

[Spoonsky]

He fulfils both the criteria demanded above though (an image I've grabbed directly from the FIFA Laws). By the same logic, if the Liverpool player who got a touch had instead controlled it and then passed it through to Kane himself, you'd still want Kane to be offside but I'm afraid he was on.

This is why ref and linesman were having a debate as to whether the player touched it, as if there was no Liverpool touch (and the linesman couldn't see from where he was) it would have been offside. He flagged up the possible offside after the referee's decision and then the referee confirmed there had been a touch so the penalty could stand - great officiating all round.

I think you're right. I didn't know that.

[Spoonsky]

Kane's still dived though. :eyemouth:

[niko_cee]

He fulfils both the criteria demanded above though (an image I've grabbed directly from the FIFA Laws). By the same logic, if the Liverpool player who got a touch had instead controlled it and then passed it through to Kane himself, you'd still want Kane to be offside but I'm afraid he was on.

This is why ref and linesman were having a debate as to whether the player touched it, as if there was no Liverpool touch (and the linesman couldn't see from where he was) it would have been offside. He flagged up the possible offside after the referee's decision and then the referee confirmed there had been a touch so the penalty could stand - great officiating all round.

See, this is what I suspected, but as Spoonsky said, that makes no sense (even if it is the law). By forcing a player into having to do something, whilst being offside you have to be influencing the game. The situation you then describe happens quite often (as I described earlier) and it is (should be) offside - otherwise is any deflected pass/shot not offside? Shot from the edge of the box, takes a deflection, saved, attacker standing in an offside position when the shot is hit puts it in - is that a goal?

Kudos for the great game John Moss comment earlier by the way. He quite often has a 'great game' whenever I see him.

Ah, bringing intention into things, a sure fire way to provide resolution.

Well, you had ample opportunity to clear the ball . . .

[Jimmy Floyd]

See, this is what I suspected, but as Spoonsky said, that makes no sense (even if it is the law). By forcing a player into having to do something, whilst being offside you have to be influencing the game. The situation you then describe happens quite often (as I described earlier) and it is (should be) offside - otherwise is any deflected pass/shot not offside? Shot from the edge of the box, takes a deflection, saved, attacker standing in an offside position when the shot is hit puts it in - is that a goal?

The law doesn't say 'influencing the game' though, it says 'involved in active play'.

Your next bit comes under 'Gaining an Advantage', see pages 22-24 here: https://www.fifa.com/mm/document/afdeveloping/refereeing/law_11_offside_en_47383.pdf. There is a logic to it.

[phonics]

I hadn't seen the penalty that was causing so much consternation before the link above. Why's anyone arguing about it? Kane kicks it out of play and takes a massive dive.

[Giggles]

I hadn't seen the penalty that was causing so much consternation before the link above. Why's anyone arguing about it? Kane kicks it out of play and takes a massive dive.

Presumably because there was contact, and contact = penalty these days. He could have done a triple somersault and it's still one once he was clipped. It was one of the worst penalties I've seen in a long time though.

[niko_cee]

The law doesn't say 'influencing the game' though, it says 'involved in active play'.

Your next bit comes under 'Gaining an Advantage', see pages 22-24 here: https://www.fifa.com/mm/document/afdeveloping/refereeing/law_11_offside_en_47383.pdf. There is a logic to it.

Not really.

If a defender tried to block a shot (an intentional act) and it deflects off him, goes on target, is saved and then is put in by someone standing in an offside position when the shot is taken, Dermot's intentional play of the ball rule (which sounds like fucking rugby league) would suggest to me that the goal should stand. Which is clearly a nonsense. All you do then is get into debates about whether someone deliberately tried to kick/touch the ball (and in 90% of instances you'd have to conclude they probably did in some capacity). It's obviously just an exceptional (and marginally interesting) situation, but I'm not sure I really subscribe to the defender touching the ball and thus rendering the whole rule void theory, even if that's where we are with the offside law.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Not really.

If a defender tried to block a shot (an intentional act) and it deflects off him, goes on target, is saved and then is put in by someone standing in an offside position when the shot is taken, Dermot's intentional play of the ball rule (which sounds like fucking rugby league) would suggest to me that the goal should stand. Which is clearly a nonsense. All you do then is get into debates about whether someone deliberately tried to kick/touch the ball (and in 90% of instances you'd have to conclude they probably did in some capacity). It's obviously just an exceptional (and marginally interesting) situation, but I'm not sure I really subscribe to the defender touching the ball and thus rendering the whole rule void theory, even if that's where we are with the offside law.

There is a slight grey area in that the rules are written with competent play in mind, rather than the ball slicing off retards like Lovren and the end result being pretty much what was originally intended.

The key thing though is less what Lovren was doing and more what Kane was doing, which is making a run some way away from the action but obviously not in a position deemed to be 'gaining an advantage' as per the definitions they've given there.

[SvN]

My interpretation is that a pass is treated differently to an attempt at a block or a deflection.

[niko_cee]

Actually, thanks Jim, frame 25, it's offside.

Do we need a definition section on 'rebound'? As if there's going to be some exception for intentional acts, that's going to fuck the bit up about 'keepers saving shots and having the rebounds put in.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Actually, thanks Jim, frame 25, it's offside.

Do we need a definition section on 'rebound'? As if there's going to be some exception for intentional acts, that's going to fuck the bit up about 'keepers saving shots and having the rebounds put in.

It's not a rebound though, it's Lovren playing the ball, which starts a new phase of play.

I don't know if there is a definition of 'rebound' somewhere else in the laws.

[niko_cee]

What is a save then if not a play of the ball? What is a rebound? That frame suggests it doesn't even have to bounce back off something.

I don't see how you square the circle where 1 is a new phase of play, and the other isn't.

[Jimmy Floyd]

What is a save then if not a play of the ball? What is a rebound? That frame suggests it doesn't even have to bounce back off something.

I don't see how you square the circle where 1 is a new phase of play, and the other isn't.


Defi nitions
In the context of Law 11 – Offside, the following defi nitions apply:
• “nearer to his opponents’ goal line” means that any part of a player’s head,
body or feet is nearer to his opponents’ goal line than both the ball and the
second-last opponent. The arms are not included in this defi nition
• “interfering with play” means playing or touching the ball passed or
touched by a team-mate
• “interfering with an opponent” means preventing an opponent from
playing or being able to play the ball by clearly obstructing the opponent’s
line of vision or challenging an opponent for the ball
• “gaining an advantage by being in that position” means playing a ball
i. that rebounds or is defl ected to him off the goalpost, crossbar or an
opponent having been in an offside position
ii. that rebounds, is defl ected or is played to him from a deliberate save
by an opponent having been in an offside position
A player in an offside position receiving the ball from an opponent, who
deliberately plays the ball (except from a deliberate save), is not considered
to have gained an advantage.

Pick your way through that, Clifford Chance. Bolded bit I think applies.

[niko_cee]

I see they catch is at the end, but it doesn't work with that frame 25 if the 'deflection' stems from a deliberate attempt to play the ball, so do they have a section where blocks are defined? It all seems a bit rabbit holey and, as you say, trust Lovren's incompetence to be so game breaking. If only he was little more useless and just missed the ball.

[Magic]

Manager sacked lol. It was never going to work out. Cyprus? Fuck me.

[John Arne]

I've said it twice, I'll be saying it every day from now on though. You gain wisdom with age.

Being 5 years(ish) your senior, I'll take that. :)

[Baz]

Nobody’s contending the fact that Lovren touching it started a “new phase of play,” but he wouldn’t have touched it if Kane wasn’t there. And Kane was offside. Should have been a Liverpool free kick.

[Giggles]

It shouldn't. But anyway, let it go, he missed. Last thing we need is you shower on yet another JUSTICE capitan

[Magic]

Jaap Stam, Steve McLaren and Gordon Strachan.

Inspiring.

[Giggles]

Roy Keane. One will do at this stage.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Nobody’s contending the fact that Lovren touching it started a “new phase of play,” but he wouldn’t have touched it if Kane wasn’t there. And Kane was offside. Should have been a Liverpool free kick.

That's not the rules though, that's just some words you've made up. Scouse Truth.

[niko_cee]

I understand the rules point but I still struggle to accept it was intended to be used/applied as the facts presented themselves - rather it intends to cover errant back passes and the like made after a potentiality offside situation has arisen (so in the case in point, had Lovren deliberately played the ball back into Kane's path, as in that's what he intended to do, not just what he errantly did, he wouldn't have been offside). The more layers of detail/complication you add to anything, the more 'interesting' (and potentially unintended) consequences you get.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lovren's was an errant back pass. Just really, really errant as opposed to slightly. Like I said, it's the same deal as if he'd taken a touch and then slipped Kane through, Dier stylee.

Does the referee ever rule on who was trying to pass to who? Backpass rule? Maybe. The backpass rule is a contrived load of shite though, so I'm happy for offside to overrule it.

[niko_cee]

But once you say that, then a deliberate act to block the ball catches it as well, otherwise it's just more layers of detail to go wrong - only blocks not made with the foot?

The problem (and VAR will find this) is that it is almost impossible to properly 'objectify' something which should probably really be regarded as subjective (even though I know it's not how they've worded it, but 'was Kane interefering with play' is an inherently subjective question). Even the bit where they try to redeem saves with the term 'deliberate save' - what if the 'keeper makes an unintentional save (it's hard to imagine but say he is trying to pull his arm away as he thinks it is going out/wide but it hits him)? More detail doesn't lead to greater clarity.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Are deliberate blocks counted under rebounds/deflections or are they playing the ball? Perhaps we'll never know.

My old man is a stickler for 'if you're offside, you're offside' which does clarify things a bit.

[phonics]

It's almost like all this pissing around with the offside and handball has made everything needlessly complicated.

[Magic]

Dele Alli sex tape. :harold:

[ScousePig]

Lovren's was an errant back pass. Just really, really errant as opposed to slightly. Like I said, it's the same deal as if he'd taken a touch and then slipped Kane through, Dier stylee.

Does the referee ever rule on who was trying to pass to who? Backpass rule? Maybe. The backpass rule is a contrived load of shite though, so I'm happy for offside to overrule it.

The backpass rule is great.

[randomlegend]

21 year old male in 'getting his dick sucked' scandal!

Who fucking cares, honestly.

[Kikó]

Pm bam for the video.

[Jimmy Floyd]

21 year old male in 'getting his dick sucked' scandal!

Who fucking cares, honestly.

I like the conspiracy theories about Liverpool fans leaking it as revenge for yesterday's result. Presumably Lamela/Kane/Jon Moss sex tapes are not held by the ynwa fraternity.

[phonics]

I like the conspiracy theories about Liverpool fans leaking it as revenge for yesterday's result. Presumably Lamela/Kane/Jon Moss sex tapes are not held by the ynwa fraternity.

I found an even better conspiracy theory. He's a Jew and therefore loves Spurs.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DVRd8ssX0AA6sQC.jpg

That would be the Jon Moss, the drummer from Culture Club but never mind.

[Jimmy Floyd]

:D

Never change.

[phonics]

It just gets better.

https://i.imgur.com/HEQpJ1W.png

[Lewis]

Who was it on the Twitter who said that even the maddest political abuse/shite tends to come from people with Liverpool references (the city, but the club in particular) in their profiles? I think it was Dan Hodges, but James Delingpole might have highlighted it as well.

[Kikó]

It seems legit to be honest. The fergie Mafia were famously Zionist.

[Disco]

The shadowy 'Class of 90-Jew' dictate world events to this very day.

[phonics]

Bennavento are looking at signing Samir Nasri and Alex Song on free transfers, having got Sagna through the door last week.

Recreating the '08 team :cool: I wonder what Eduardo's up to these days.

[Mazuuurk]

Diaby is available as well - as far as I know.

Maybe they could use him as a glass wall in the VIP section.

[Mazuuurk]

Also, I just Googled around and found Denilson is only 29.

That just doesn't seem right.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Isn't Eboué homeless or something? Man needs a break.

Probably because of everyone saying his name wrong all these years.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Apparently he tried to join a Northern Cypriot team but it fell through as he failed his medical and is now a coach of Galatasary's U14 team as Terim felt sorry for him.

[Byron]

I was going for E-boooooo-ue