Christmas 2016

[Dquincy]

No Cheeselets?

[Lewis]

I reset Windows, and it has taken Microsoft Office with it. Unfortunately, there is no sign of anything left (just the files), so nothing to re-activate it from. Help.

[Boydy]

Don't you just download it from their website these days and sign in with your microsoft account?

[Magic]

I reset Windows, and it has taken Microsoft Office with it. Unfortunately, there is no sign of anything left (just the files), so nothing to re-activate it from. Help.

OpenOffice.

[mugbull]

OpenOffice, the single greatest wellspring of misery on any device I own.

[Lewis]

I had an Office 2007 disk that I used to re-activate it off (with the product key), but that has vanished like everything else I take my eyes off for thirty seconds in this fucking house. Can I just torrent an old copy of it, or will they be shit?

[Baz]

Torrent it.

[Magic]

I torrented 2013 with some difficulty. I'd imagine 16 is nigh on impossible. 7 and 10 should be ok though.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

07 is fine to torrent.

I'm using the latest but only because my Uni is giving unlimited licenses, all I have to do is download it off their website and sign in with any email. It's not too shabby.

[Offshore Toon]

No Cheeselets?
Not even one.

[Lewis]

I downloaded one, but it won't install. I think I am actually going to have a MELTDOWN in a minute.

[Lewis]

I got another one to work, and everything is back to normal.

[Spoonsky]

Word 2003 is all you need tbh.

[bruhnaldo]

It's more probable that you just never interact with anyone

STOP TRYING TO MAKE QUIMBY WORK

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Its-Not-Going-to-Happen-Mean-Girls.gif

[Manc]

Outstanding victory.

[Lewis]

Maybe you just never hear it in Florida, but mokkers hears it all the time at Bayside High.

[Spoonsky]

It definitely hasn't made it beyond the Sierra Nevada.

[Lewis]

This (https://www.domyessay.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Chinese_Population_USA.jpg) map of Chinese students may explain why.

[Mike]

It's my last day in work before we finish for Christmas. It's Christmas jumper day and I think it's toy day too, though I could be wrong.
The kids are all off in the hall this afternoon for a film while the school gets a tidy, I'm aiming to see most of the film.

All after school stuff is cancelled as it's the staffs anual Christmas trip to the pub over the road. We finish at 3:30 and I aim to be drinking by 3:35 at the latest.

Then I can get festive. Having a Christmas drink with a friend tomorrow then an early Christmas Day on Friday with my girlfriend as we can't see each other on the big day. Which means I get two Christmas dinners!! :cool2:


Oh and I don't bother with MS Office anymore. Libre Office or something like it is fine.

[Dquincy]

Sounds lovely. :)

What age range do you teach? Bet the kids are on hyper mode due to Christmas.

My last day today. Got to get a dilaps deal done, but apart from that it should be a fairly nice one. And my secretary is bringing in her daughter today for lunch.

[P_3]

And my secretary is bringing in her daughter today for lunch.
Don't forget all the trimmings and pigs in blankets!

[Dquincy]

Don't forget all the trimmings and pigs in blankets!

I should qualify that she is in her mid twenties.

[Shindig]

If this upcoming storm knocks my power out, I'll raise hell.

[phonics]

They've cancelled the strikes :drool:

[mugbull]

This (https://www.domyessay.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Chinese_Population_USA.jpg) map of Chinese students may explain why.

They have so many shades for "pretty much no one", pointless map. Although I will say that my (2nd) Bay Area high school was something like 35% Asian, and in all of the advanced classes and shit that number was up towards 70%. School half an hour south was 85% Asian from the get go. But the Asians don't come up with slang, it's all blacks.

[bruhnaldo]

It must be an Asian thing.

[Spammer]

I ran out of Lynx shower gel this morning. Perfect timing with Christmas on Sunday.

[Lewis]

I went to Greggs yesterday and they didn't have any festive bakes. Twice that's happened now.

It has happened to me twice as well (albeit on Sundays when they only sell the crap they never sold the day before), so they can fuck off this year.

[Lewis]

It's Festive Bake or nothing.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cranberry is an absolute disaster of a thing.

[Mazuuurk]

I watched that GIF of Rachel McAdams for about 5 minutes mesmerized. She's one of these people that you keep thinking "Hmm, she's hotter than I always thought she was" over and over.

[phonics]

1) Which GIF
2) I appear to have never seen a Rachel McAdams movie.

[Manc]

True detective season 2 for optimum filth.

Xmas shopping done and dusted. Spent a sickening amount. Ugh.

[Offshore Toon]

I ran out of Lynx shower gel this morning. Perfect timing with Christmas on Sunday.
Do you shower every four days?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.theworldsstrongestman.com/channel-5-worlds-strongest-man-schedule/

World's Strongest Man schedule :cool:

It's not Christmas without huge men lifting atlas stones, pulling trucks and throwing shit around.

[Magic]

Just had a Christmas salt bath. Incredible.

[Manc]

Clean for 2017.

[mugbull]

http://www.theworldsstrongestman.com/channel-5-worlds-strongest-man-schedule/

World's Strongest Man schedule :cool:

It's not Christmas without huge men lifting atlas stones, pulling trucks and throwing shit around.

Shit's in Botswana this year? The fuck do they always choose the most awful climates for this

[Foe]

http://www.theworldsstrongestman.com/channel-5-worlds-strongest-man-schedule/

World's Strongest Man schedule :cool:

It's not Christmas without huge men lifting atlas stones, pulling trucks and throwing shit around.

A fucking huge guy from up here is quite good at strongman shit. His younger brother isn't bad either.

Luke and Tom Stoltman or something. One of them was training in the gym same time as me two years ago over Xmas time and he was gigantic.

[Lewis]

Shit's in Botswana this year? The fuck do they always choose the most awful climates for this

It takes place in August/September (Brian Shaw won), which is probably alright for it in the upside down areas.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

It always annoys me that they don't show us live.

I guess it's become a Christmas tradition and they can't host it near (heats) and in December.

[Lewis]

Zydrunas Savickas was injured this year, so it was basically a write-off.

[Spammer]

Do you shower every four days?

No I just get quite a few from relatives each Xmas/birthday.

[Giggles]

No I just get quite a few from relatives each Xmas/birthday.

What are you going to do this morning though?

[Manc]

Prozzy wash.

[Lewis]

This is where he tells us that everybody secretly wants to only get washed once a week.

[Dquincy]

No I just get quite a few from relatives each Xmas/birthday.

Do you ever use the excess soap from your hair shampoo to wash the rest of your body?

Worthy question for post no. 300 in this thread.

[Baz]

Only on the pits (or pubes if I've not veeted for a long time).

[Lewis]

Going back to the transfer thread, who is buying these whole legs (plus stand!) of filthy Spanish ham that all the supermarkets are pushing for forty quid a go? When did that become a Christmas thing?

[Giggles]

Going back to the transfer thread, who is buying these whole legs (plus stand!) of filthy Spanish ham that all the supermarkets are pushing for forty quid a go? When did that become a Christmas thing?

I was wondering the same thing too. First year I've seen them, are you meant to hang them up in the kitchen like some filthy Portuguese or something? Horrid looking things.

[Baz]

Harold probably has a freezer full from that website he used to champion.

[Pepe]

Is it jamon serrano? Because if it is. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Going back to the transfer thread, who is buying these whole legs (plus stand!) of filthy Spanish ham that all the supermarkets are pushing for forty quid a go? When did that become a Christmas thing?

It's the Christmas ham, but for Remain voters.

[Dquincy]

My brother has one. He was vom'ing with stomach cramps afterwards.

[Raoul Duke]

I'd probably get one if I saw one. There's a butchers near me that has some amazing stuff in it.

[Magic]

That Ham Nigella is doing now. :drool:

[Giggles]

I'd probably get one if I saw one. There's a butchers near me that has some amazing stuff in it.

At least you can get the servants to bring slices up from the cellar.

[Raoul Duke]

I'm pretty sure my 1-bed flat doesn't have a cellar

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We got sent a Christmas card for, I believe, the previous owners of the house.

We've only lived here for 11 and a half years.

[Kikó]

My nan has bought that Spanish ham a few times and it's been great. Aldi mate.

[Manc]

Got the Christmas cut in and splurged on some new jeans. Merry Xmas.

[Dquincy]

Anyone get anything good for secret santa?

I got a shit office table tennis set. £3

And a portable charger for my phone.

[Dquincy]

My mate got this shocker.

http://debenhams.scene7.com/is/image/Debenhams/311100794299?$V7PdpLarge$

[Manc]

Cereal in a cup? Get out.

[Spoonsky]

My friend and I both received mysterious packages from the same person this morning. Mine contained this:

http://i.imgur.com/X2QVciv.jpg
His, however, contained this:

http://i.imgur.com/MhW4GQD.jpg

[Raoul Duke]

I got some bluetooth gloves that actually let you take a call through them (as in, you talk into your finger/thumb). Impressively it actually works :|

You obviously would look like a massive retard if you actually used it in reality though.

[Queenslander]

My standard strategy of waiting untill the last minute may have back fired this year. I have to buy for 7 people one includes my sisters boyfriend for fucks sake. I'm going to buy that cunt a brutal combination of beers and shame him into drinking all of them on Christmas day.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Mum has decided to relax the Polish Christmas Eve tradition of 'no meat allowed' and as such she wants me to roast a hunk of beef and I'll also do some Korean BBQ inspired wings too.

I'll also make bread sauce tomorrow ready for the turkey I think because I've fallen in love with it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I had to sit at the worst Christmas party of all time for about six hours this evening (and dance at it, my lord) but at the end of it Mr Choi gave me the greatest gift of all - a bottle of Chateauneuf-du-Pape. Thanks, Korea.

[mugbull]

My friend and I both received mysterious packages from the same person this morning. Mine contained this:

http://i.imgur.com/X2QVciv.jpg
His, however, contained this:

http://i.imgur.com/MhW4GQD.jpg

Sounds like your friend's got better banter than you

[Magic]

Having to suck a massive curry fart in so the wife will have sex with me.

[Manc]

Alright, Phil.

[Pepe]

My girlfriend's colleague invited us to her lol McChurch for Christmas, to see the massive concert they put together. Luckily since we don't have a car anymore we had a ready excuse so we didn't have to tell her to fuck off.

[Pepe]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcTwzZrU7MU

:harold:

[Shindig]

Man. Stomp are so class when you're kids and just like banging stuff together. Modernise that shit. Get some distortion pedals and a drum machine.

[Giggles]

Christ, they were bin lids.

[Dquincy]

Having to suck a massive curry fart in so the wife will have sex with me.

So you don't wake her.

[Dquincy]

My standard strategy of waiting untill the last minute may have back fired this year. I have to buy for 7 people one includes my sisters boyfriend for fucks sake. I'm going to buy that cunt a brutal combination of beers and shame him into drinking all of them on Christmas day.
I generally don't understand leaving present buying to the last minute. Although a lot of people do it.

Is it laziness?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Procrastination. Very different things.

[ScousePig]

I had to sit at the worst Christmas party of all time for about six hours this evening (and dance at it, my lord) but at the end of it Mr Choi gave me the greatest gift of all - a bottle of Chateauneuf-du-Pape. Thanks, Korea.

One of my naughty children got me a bottle of the same. It was lovely. Our haul this Christmas was pretty impressive, including 6 bottles of wine/bubbly and over a dozen boxes of chocolates.

We've just got back from Venice which was great, if not very christmassy.

[Queenslander]

I generally don't understand leaving present buying to the last minute. Although a lot of people do it.

Is it laziness?

Jimmy is right it's procrastination also I'm a short bald version of the Christmas grinch. I really only participate because my mum enjoys watching us exchange gifts.

[-james-]

Have a few things to be done in town today and outside looks like the apocalypse. Fuck this.

[Adamski]

Just went out for a smoke there and nearly blew away. Brutal.

[Giggles]

I could actually hear the rain on the roof over the sound of the lathe there.

[Kikó]

Bought the last remaining gifts for the in laws in the airport. Christmas is expensive.

[Pepe]

The Youtube channel of that church led me to this don, so I take it all back.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUSb4QFnbfE

[Pepe]

I ended up buying my girlfriend a gps for her bicycle. Mostly, I bought it so I can do some testing by comparing two different power meters simultaneously as I know she'll use her bike twice per year at best.

Her mom sent us a package for Christmas, as she always does, including all kinds of delicacies such as rillettes, foie gras and, the most important, saucisson. But it's been over two weeks now which means that the cunts from customs have probably intercepted it and will be taking my sucisson again. :mad:

[phonics]

Just realised, Die Hard isn't the best Christmas film.

It's In Bruges.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Surely Trading Places.

[Alex]

I generally don't understand leaving present buying to the last minute. Although a lot of people do it.

Is it laziness?

I always equate it to being a bit like when you were at school and you would leave the essay until the night before it was due. It's that "everything will turn out alright in the end" feeling. It hasn't let me down yet. Sometimes you do your best work when the chips are down.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I ended up buying my girlfriend a gps for her bicycle. Mostly, I bought it so I can do some testing by comparing two different power meters simultaneously as I know she'll use her bike twice per year at best.

Her mom sent us a package for Christmas, as she always does, including all kinds of delicacies such as rillettes, foie gras and, the most important, saucisson. But it's been over two weeks now which means that the cunts from customs have probably intercepted it and will be taking my sucisson again. :mad:
What utter wankers.

[Giggles]

Jimmy has it. I can't believe I forgot that one.

[Dquincy]

Just realised, Die Hard isn't the best Christmas film.

It's In Bruges.

Great film, In Bruges. Wouldn't watch it specially at Christmas tho.

[Mike]

Just had my first Christmas dinner and I'm stuffed! Giving it 5 minutes before I crack the hot chocolate fudge cake and ice cream for pudding.

Listening to this, a Christmas song I've only discovered this year and now love

http://youtu.be/a8qE6WQmNus

[Baz]

Meant to be going out for Christmas bevvies at 4:30 but I've had a bath and now just want to nap. :moop:

Doesn't help that it's chucking it down either.

[Lewis]

I managed to get a Festive Bake today, and it was a bit rubbish.

[Dquincy]

Just got back from an NCT Christmas get together at a theatre. Someone hired it out a did a santas grotto for the little ones. The buffet table was immense.

[Kikó]

In Brussels now and it's time to relax with the in-laws. We're having a beef stew tonight and Christmas dinner tomorrow like the other euro fuckers. Not sure what that means for Christmas, pure alcohol?

[-james-]

Presents wrapped. Time to be a fat and drunk for a week.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Got home and fell asleep to the smell of roasting ham. Now about to start drinking wine. God bless you all.

[Pepe]

Decided to not go work today, because fuck it.

[Magic]

In Brussels now and it's time to relax with the in-laws. We're having a beef stew tonight and Christmas dinner tomorrow like the other euro fuckers. Not sure what that means for Christmas, pure alcohol?

You should definitely visit the Christmas market tomorrow.

[Pepe]

Do Jews work on Hanukkah ?

[Kikó]

You should definitely visit the Christmas market tomorrow.

I'll be into you when I'm in Dundee mate. Gubbed.

[Magic]

I'll be into you when I'm in Dundee mate. Gubbed.

:wub:

[Giggles]

I hope gubbed means something different there or MJ's smiley is spot on.

[Dquincy]

"Get your Christmas shopping done early to avoid the rush"

I did mine a whole 12 months early and the shops were as busy as ever.

:harold:

[Kikó]

:wub:
I'll be at the TK mate. You'll see me looking smug.

[Dquincy]

Why is Santa's sack so big?

Because he only comes once a year.

[Spikey M]

Then why isn't it blue?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He paints it.

[Dquincy]

White hairy pubes.

[John]

I hope gubbed means something different there or MJ's smiley is spot on.

'Gubbed' was the title of Magic's thread announcing he'd had his head punched in.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Made my bread sauce.

It's a little too garlicky and oniony but it's pretty grand.

[Shindig]

I've just been getting my normal shop in. This morning you had the usual pram pushers piling through £60's worth of shopping. I mean, they're open tomorrow, folks. Relax.

[Spikey M]

Took the daughter to an indoor play centre thing today. Then grabbed a few last minute food items, cleaned and tidied the whole house and started making buffet stuff to feed the 5000 we have coming tomorrow.

Tomorrw morning I'll have to go in to town to pick up our cake and bread, then grab the turkey and ham joint from the butchers while the Mrs does the rest.

Fuck hosting anything ever again.

[ScousePig]

I'm going to Scarborough tomorrow to spend Christmas with the girlfriend's family. Christmas Day there's going to be about 15 of us, and we had to sort the pigs in blankets. We picked them up from the butchers this morning and they look pretty swish.

[Dquincy]

I've just been getting my normal shop in. This morning you had the usual pram pushers piling through £60's worth of shopping. I mean, they're open tomorrow, folks. Relax.

Could the same not be said about you? :sherlock:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Bought this t-shirt to get me in the Christmas spirit:

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/31aY9m3ZR7L.jpg

[Shindig]

Heading over to see the folks and catch up. Also finishing the shopping.

[Baz]

I'm looking forward to Lewis' posts on Christmas Day.

[Giggles]

Main event starts today for most, so happy Christmas folks. Hope it's a good one.

[Bam]

Ok, so who has taken over Giggles account?

[Dquincy]

Merry Christmas Gigglè.

[Bam]

Today I need to pop into town and get the wifes card. :facepalm: Then we're off to see both sets of Nans, once home I think I might throw some snowballs at random people in Los Santos then have a few drink with the duchess and a Chinese. Sweet.

[niko_cee]

I really don't get Christmas cards between family members/people who live with each other or are together for Christmas Day itself. I realise this puts me on the wrong side of Lewis, but I just can't fathom it. It's like putting tags on the presents father christmas delivers. Why does he bother?

[Giggles]

The Santa stuff for kids shouldn't even be wrapped.

[Dquincy]

Today I need to pop into town and get the wifes card. :facepalm: Then we're off to see both sets of Nans, once home I think I might throw some snowballs at random people in Los Santos then have a few drink with the duchess and a Chinese. Sweet.

My wife's family do this every Christmas. It's mental. We've already posted them a Christmas card, but now she's spent over £40 on Christmas cards for the same people for Christmas morning. And because we have a little nipper, she's had to buy separate ones from him.

Absolutely mental.

[Spoonsky]

This will be the first Christmas in living memory that I've spent in Utah instead of Northern California, meaning the first time I've seen snow on Christmas since forever. Usually it's just sunny or at best very rainy. I'm sort of excited for it.

[mo]

We don't do any Christmas cards whatsoever. I just can't think of a bigger waste of money.

[Magic]

My wife's family do this every Christmas. It's mental. We've already posted them a Christmas card, but now she's spent over £40 on Christmas cards for the same people for Christmas morning. And because we have a little nipper, she's had to buy separate ones from him.

Absolutely mental.

We donated to a charity instead. Obviously boasted about it on Facebook for maximum sanctomony

[Raoul Duke]

Xmas cards will disappear in about 15 years. Absolutely pointless.

[Dquincy]

We donated to a charity instead. Obviously boasted about it on Facebook for maximum sanctomony

That's a great idea...assuming the donation equaled the value of the cards and not £2.But, people should do that more often.

[Magic]

£20.

[Dquincy]

Xmas cards will disappear in about 15 years. Absolutely pointless.

I quite like a card decorating the house.

[Mike]

Had my early Christmas yesterday, was amazing! My girlfriend cooked her first ever Christmas Dinner and did a fine job.
Went the pub in the evening but only my two dullest friends and their partners came so we pretended we had a party and came home early and watched some Community.


That's a great idea...assuming the donation equaled the value of the cards and not £2.But, people should do that more often.

We did a think at work, instead of cards and getting advent calendars everyone donated 24 items of food and it went to the local food bank. Was loads of it!

[Magic]

Had my early Christmas yesterday, was amazing! My girlfriend cooked her first ever Christmas Dinner and did a fine job.
Went the pub in the evening but only my two dullest friends and their partners came so we pretended we had a party and came home early and watched some Community.

Baz and The Reid?

[mugbull]

This will be the first Christmas in living memory that I've spent in Utah instead of Northern California, meaning the first time I've seen snow on Christmas since forever. Usually it's just sunny or at best very rainy. I'm sort of excited for it.

I'm in Prague, which usually has a nice blanket by now, but it doesn't this year, and they were showing a 5-minute news special on Czech TV about how it's snowing in the Sahara right now, the whole time very clearly butthurt about not getting any snow of our own. I honestly am too, cos I'll be back in Cali in 2 weeks.

[Magic]

It's going to be 14C on Christmas day here.

[Giggles]

I'm 191km away from it all really beginning. Van is loaded up and podcasts are queued, away within the half hour.

[niko_cee]

We donated to a charity instead. Obviously boasted about it on Facebook for maximum sanctomony [sic]

This drives my wife insane with rage.

[Magic]

Add me bae.

[Dquincy]

She hates charity.

[Lewis]

Armageddon is on. :drool:

[Pepe]

It's going to be 14C on Christmas day here.

:drool:

[Lewis]

Except in his house, where frost is forecast.

[Magic]

Not sure if a dig at my tight fistedness or woeful family life. Could be a double play.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Xmas cards will disappear in about 15 years. Absolutely pointless.

They won't, or they would have gone by now.

[Baz]

I've been assigned the task of delivering the neighbours cards. She'd only done them for people who have sent us one so I've sneakily done one for the fit woman at number three.

To number three
Sorry I still don't know your name (although I know your dogs, Mimi)
Have a happy Christmas
Lots of love
Baz
(The ace one from number six)

[niko_cee]

The scenes when No.3's boyfriend opens that card.

:drool:

[Shindig]

As he's ploughing Baz's wife.

[ItalAussie]

Merry Christmas to all of you!

Cheers,
Australia.

[Dquincy]

Not having that. It's GMT or nothing.

Come back in 12 hours.

[ItalAussie]

Swing and a miss?

[Dquincy]

That better?

[ItalAussie]

It's a Christmas miracle.

[Lewis]

The second Armadillo turning up is the greatest pop in cinema history.

[Lewis]

'Harry wanted you to have this.'

What a fucking film.

[Lewis]

Now, where is Reggie with our Christmas fixtures thread? I want to lol at David Moyes slagging United off for spending loads of money in the same breath as claiming that he almost signed Ronaldo and Gareth Bale.

[Magic]

Chicken Balti on the go. :drool:

[Kikó]

All the in-laws are in now and the blokes are watching Scottish football while the wimmin are preparing Christmas dinner. Great stuff.

[Dquincy]

Watching Grimbsy whilst she's taken the little one to church for Christmas carols.

Also watched Trainwreck last night. Whilst the blonde lady can't act very well, the film was quite good.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Watching Grimbsy whilst she's taken the little one to church for Christmas carols.

I watched that the other day, Jesus wept.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

One of my neighbours is the only place I've sent a card the past 3 years because I don't want to appear rude after they've sent me one. I think I'll buck the trend this year and not bother.

Fair enough to someone you don't see very often but immediately next door? Such an old women's thing to send them to everyone.

[Dquincy]

I watched that the other day, Jesus wept.

Good for the background whilst i play champ.

[Bernanke]

I have a new favourite Christmas song:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q

[Dquincy]

Take it back, fucking awful film.

[Pepe]

Just had breakfast. Bagel with peanut butter followed by oatmeal with milk and banana. As a Chrismtas special, I added cajeta to my oatmeal. :drool:

[niko_cee]

All the in-laws are in now and the blokes are watching Scottish football while the wimmin are preparing Christmas dinner. Great stuff.

Sounds like the blokes got the raw end of the deal.

[Mike]

Just grabbed myself a handful of Roses chocolates and my first Christmas Eve beer. I've nothing to do now until my parents turn up tomorrow so I'm cracking on with some FM.

[Kikó]

Sounds like the blokes got the raw end of the deal.

Dundee united fans so got the result they wanted.

[Dquincy]

Just grabbed myself a handful of Roses chocolates and my first Christmas Eve beer. I've nothing to do now until my parents turn up tomorrow so I'm cracking on with some FM.

Noice.

What about wife and/or girlfriend?

[John]

I've just been to see my gran to pick up and drop off some gifts, and she's kept up her hot streak of being absolutely hilarious every time I see her, often without really meaning it. The highlight of this visit was her telling me she's turning the heating off because she has a warmer duvet than my grandad, but she also offered three gifts I was supposed to open tonight. The first was some soup mix, the second was a pair of Playboy pyjamas, and the third was a bottle of Sanatogen tonic wine.

[Mike]

Noice.

What about wife and/or girlfriend?

She's just left to visit her Dad. She's not back until tomorrow evening. I'm off my parents tomorrow.

[Samadini]

Family have the heating on full blast. Sat here in t-shirt and shorts sweating my balls off.

[Magic]

Anyone else think it's weird John's gran is the only thing he talks about in terms of his personal life?

[Kikó]

No. Grans are awesome.

[Mike]

My Nan is pencilled in to play D&D tomorrow. :cool2:

[Magic]

Mine is a miserable old cunt.

[Baz]

The scenes when No.3's boyfriend opens that card.

:drool:She hasn't gone one. Spends all day dildoing herself thinking of number six instead.

[Lewis]

I read that without seeing the quoted post. Jesus.

[Lewis]

Muppet Christmas Carol is about to start on Channel 4. :cool:

[Mike]

Right up there with my favourite Christmas films.

[Offshore Toon]

Pate :drool: Sacking off going out tonight and just gonna get started on eating a stupid amount.

Also, the best investment I've ever made may well be the box of 25 assorted Christmas cards I bought a few years ago. Covered three Christmases now.

[Raoul Duke]

Went out to watch Star Wars and am now going to get into the booze and play Skyrim/FM and watch shit on Netflix :drool:

[mo]

Missus sat here in tears cos her family are a bunch of emotionally crippled fucktards. Thank fuck we're going to my parents tomorrow. Merry Christmas.

[Kikó]

The fish pie is still not in. Dying here.

[Magic]

Missus sat here in tears cos her family are a bunch of emotionally crippled fucktards. Thank fuck we're going to my parents tomorrow. Merry Christmas.

And you're posting about it on an internet forum. Good emotions!

[Shindig]

Visit with the fam was alright although nothing much new to talk about. Except the inevitable putting down of one of my sister's dogs. :( Still, the pork joint was lush.

[Magic]

Dreading tomorrow. Visit from the cunt-in-laws, followed by a visit to my cunt father then Christmas dinner with my cunt mother. And the step-cunts involved in those as well.

[John]

And you're posting about it on an internet forum. Good emotions!

It's an upgrade on you leaving your wife in tears to come and tell us how you did it.

[Magic]

It's an upgrade on you leaving your wife in tears to come and tell us how you did it.

Well at least I don't pretend I'm in touch with my emotions.

:henn0rz:

[Shindig]

Look, as bad as your Christmas might be going, Chris Chan is still alive, begging for money and trying to fashion an open wound into a vagina as we speak.

Chin up.

[John]

Well at least I don't pretend I'm in touch with my emotions.

:henn0rz:

For the last six months that's exactly what half of your posting here has been.

[Offshore Toon]

I dunno why people bother with family they genuinely dislike. Call them out on being a twat and if they don't change get rid. I've had to do that with my sister because she's the most selfish, ignorant and attention-seeking twat I've ever met.

[Magic]

For the last six months that's exactly what half of your posting here has been.

Maybe I should have put an ironic smilie after my post.

[John]

That would have been an excellent idea. Certainly better than using one named after one of the few members here with no concept of irony.

[Magic]

That would have been an excellent idea. Certainly better than using one named after one of the few members here with no concept of irony.

Sorry I didn't realise the names of the smilies dictated their usage.

:alan:

[Baz]

:lewis:

[Magic]

WDTV is having a meltdown. :cry:

[mugbull]

Great news, i needed a replacement for my 2014 15-inch Macbook Retina so i told my parents and they got me a 2011 13-inch. I don't really care personally, but i'm just never going to use it. If anyone needs something like that hit me with a PM

[Adamski]

Maybe I should have put an ironic smilie after my post.

:D

[Raoul Duke]

Mookbull with an early bid for 'Most Entitled Princess' Xmas award.

[Giggles]

Great news, i needed a replacement for my 2014 15-inch Macbook Retina so i told my parents and they got me a 2011 13-inch. I don't really care personally, but i'm just never going to use it. If anyone needs something like that hit me with a PM

:D you twat.

[mo]

And you're posting about it on an internet forum. Good emotions!

I'd smacked her about by then and told her to man up.

[Dquincy]

Mookbull with an early bid for 'Most Entitled Princess' Xmas award.

:D

[mugbull]

I was thankful in person but what am I supposed to do with it?

[Dquincy]

Shove it up your parents arse, by the sounds of it.

[Dquincy]

I dunno why people bother with family they genuinely dislike. Call them out on being a twat and if they don't change get rid. I've had to do that with my sister because she's the most selfish, ignorant and attention-seeking twat I've ever met.
Sounds like you fancy her, mate.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Overcooked my beef :(

I wanted medium because my family probably wouldn't appreciate medium rare (bordering more on the rare) but I think my Mum turned the oven up or messed with the timer.

Delicious but medium well it was :(

[Mike]

My evening of FM was cut short by a trip to the pub with my flatmate :D Have hardly seen him this month so it was nice to catch up.

[Offshore Toon]

Sounds like you fancy her, mate.
Oh yeah. Shit.

[Dquincy]

Oh yeah. Shit.

Go for it. It's Christmas.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

£30 (£20 in TK Maxx vouchers which I'll hopefully sell to my Mum)
A Drinking Horn (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Thrones-Polished-Viking-Usable-Drinking/dp/B01KM19R6O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1480509136&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=game+of+thrones&psc=1)
Game of Thrones Monopoly
Next Code Red eau de toilette
Superman Socks (with cape attached to the calf part, so amazing)
Gordon Ramsay Ultimate Home Cooking

Not a bad haul.

The drinking horn smells like wet pig so I'm not rushing to drink anything out of it just yet but the smell should dissipate apparently.

[Magic]

Why have you opened your presents you freak?

[mugbull]

I can imagine a neckbeard running around in long Superman socks with a sad cape blowing faintly in the back

[Dquincy]

£30 (£20 in TK Maxx vouchers which I'll hopefully sell to my Mum)
A Drinking Horn (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Thrones-Polished-Viking-Usable-Drinking/dp/B01KM19R6O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1480509136&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=game+of+thrones&psc=1)
Game of Thrones Monopoly
Next Code Red eau de toilette
Superman Socks (with cape attached to the calf part, so amazing)
Gordon Ramsay Ultimate Home Cooking

Not a bad haul.

The drinking horn smells like wet pig so I'm not rushing to drink anything out of it just yet but the smell should dissipate apparently.

Wet pig. :D

Did people like the presents they received from you? Bit of a stupid question that as nobody opens a present and goes "what the fuck is this"...unless you're Mokbull.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Why have you opened your presents you freak?
Polish tradition, Christmas Eve is the big one for them.

We eat then kids go to try and look for Santa who comes in the other way and leaves presents under the tree which are then opened.

I can imagine a neckbeard running around in long Superman socks with a sad cape blowing faintly in the back

https://www.sockshop.co.uk/cms_media/images/1000x1000_fitbox-dsc_00402111.JPG

So good and fuck you with the neckbeard comment.

Wet pig. :D

Did people like the presents they received from you? Bit of a stupid question that as nobody opens a present and goes "what the fuck is this"...unless you're Mokbull.
It smells like my boar hair brushes (for beard) when I get them wet.

Yeah, I was a lot more interested in watching others open their presents which is a first for me

My nephew loving the Deadpool shirt was a real highlight. He kept walking around kissing his muscles and punching his fist into his left hand.

I put the shirt in some box for a tape dispenser and he brushed it off as a shit present at first until I suggested that Santa might be playing a trick on him.

[Magic]

More like you're a greedy bastard that doesn't adhere to any national tradition.

[igor_balis]

Merry Christmas lads I love the lot of ya. :happycry:

[Giggles]

More like you're a greedy bastard that doesn't adhere to any national tradition.

Or not an absolute mentalist who has only one moral in life.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

More like you're a greedy bastard that doesn't adhere to any national tradition.

I also used to spend Christmas Eve with my Mum and then Christmas Day with my Dad.

So you'll be having to do something similar soon with the little one.

Merry Christmas.

[Magic]

I also used to spend Christmas Eve with my Mum and then Christmas Day with my Dad.

So you'll be having to do something similar soon with the little one.

Merry Christmas.

Sounds pretty good actually.

[Adamski]

I also used to spend Christmas Eve with my Mum and then Christmas Day with my Dad.

So you'll be having to do something similar soon with the little one.

Merry Christmas.

I think both Magics Mum and dad hate him.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Is there anyone who actually likes him?

[John]

I also used to spend Christmas Eve with my Mum and then Christmas Day with my Dad.

So you'll be having to do something similar soon with the little one.

Merry Christmas.

As chaotic as he is, I doubt Magic will ever bring his kid to spend christmas with your mum.

[Adamski]

Is there anyone who actually likes him?

Himself? Oh...

[Magic]

Is there anyone who actually likes him?

Igor does. :)

Edit: That's it though. :(

[Bernanke]

Capping off Christmas celebrations with Love Actually followed by Die Hard.

Alan Rickman. :drool: :happycry:

[John]

Merry Christmas chaps. I hope you all have a wonderful time full of the ones you love and the ones who love you.

[Ian]

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just put a shoulder of pork in the slow cooker for tomorrow as an addition to the turkey.

[Dquincy]

Merry Christmas everyone. You're all nice chaps really.

Went to bed at 10.30pm, but just got awoken by my wife after our son had a poonami and it went everywhere. Consider that my first present this Christmas...and he's just starting on solids.

Edit: Found tinsel in his dirty nappy.

[Spoonsky]

I was thankful in person but what am I supposed to do with it?

Browse the internet? Use a word processor?

[Queenslander]

Got to crack my first beer due to my missus self sabotaging again with her ex by telling him what she had purchased their son ahead of time. His domestic abuse mind kicked into play went out and got the better version of every gift she had got him.

Ohhh boy!

[Lewis]

Mookbull with an early bid for 'Most Entitled Princess' Xmas award.

The Luca Award.

I went to the pub with my mother, my Navy friend, and his mother (and some other twats). Then me and him went to another pub, and we must have been the oldest people in there by at least five years. Merry Christmas mates.

[SvN]

34 degrees in Melbourne. I'm pretty pissed already, about to sit down for what looks like an epic dinner.

[Queenslander]

What are you drinking?

[Waffdon]

Best night of the year fackeddddd

[Pepe]

A lad in the Snake Alley criterium had Captain America socks with the little wings. The crowd loved it.

[Pepe]

I got a jersey and a handlebar bag from the missus. Good stuff.

[SvN]

What are you drinking?

http://i.imgur.com/je1EctBh.jpg

[Queenslander]

Not bad, not bad. Go hunt down Pirate Life IIPA tomorrow and your day will be grand albeit a tad unpredictable.

[Bam]

Got my 5 year old Nephew a West Ham kit, he's got right into football and natch has been forced into supporting the Irons. I'm a terrible Uncle.

[Mike]

Happy Christmas guys.

[Samadini]

Merry Christmas chips

[Kikó]

Merry Christmas guys. Enjoy your day and tomorrow we can recommence being mean to each other.

[Foe]

How long until Turkey?

Love and hugs. Foe xoxo

[Henry]

2,016 years ago... nothing happened. Rejoice!

[Queenslander]

Ham Jam is now my new daily spread.