The Apprentice 2016 - Sponsored by the Royal Association of Bastards

[Byron]

So this starts next week and as usual we have a nice collection of absolute dickheads and cunts. I don't have enough signal to link loads of shit but I'm sure they're all awful human beings.

Ian, let's get the threshing machine ready :cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What a shit thread.

Where are the pictures and quotes?

[wullie]

I've made my pick

http://i.imgur.com/JNZXLYS.png

[Giggles]

Any filth?

[Ian]

Sake, Byron. If you're going to start the thread do it right.

I'll save the day later on lads, fear not.

[Ian]

Start Date: Thursday 6th October, 9pm

Changes

Moving to Thursdays? And maybe no consecutive episodes to start us off?
Rhod Gilbert presenting You're Fired


The Bastards (spoilered for massiveness)
http://www.radiotimes.com/uploads/images/Original/118722.jpg
Back (l-r): Natalie Hughes, Karthik Nagesan, Courtney Wood, Frances Bishop, Alana Spencer, Dillon St. Paul, Trishna thakrar, Rebecca Jeffery, Aleksandra King
Front (l-r): JD O'Brien, Michelle Niziol, Mukai Noiri, Sofiane Khelfa, Samuel Boating, Oliver Nohl-Oser, Jessica Cunningham, Paul Sullivan, Grainne McCoy

The Bios: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/profiles/5NJRj7JhcnNp5WKzq12nn8y/meet-the-candidates

Jessica or Alana get the :drool:s for me. Oliver's face is that of the guy who'll survive being hopeless until about the midpoint (unless he does a Solomon)

The Quotes

Like the Tasmanian devil in the famous cartoon, I will torpedo my way through to the win
Aleksandra King
Not sure she's ever seen the cartoons in question.


How would I describe myself in one sentence? I'll give you one word: awesome
Courtney Wood
Nice name, dickhead.


I won’t suffer fools. I will get upset by other candidates who don’t know their arse from their elbow
JD O’Brien
"Doesn't suffer fools" is known code for 'I'm a colossal, gaping arsehole', right?


If I wanted to be like everyone else, I’d have waxed my monobrow
Karthik Nagesan
:cool:


My wife calls me "Mr President"
Samuel Boateng
Your wife either hates you or is an insufferable sycophant, mate.

I reckon Wullie has successfully picked the hero of the series though.

[Lofty]

Unibrow geezer also described himself as a unicorn.

[Giggles]

Natalie looks like she'd suck a golf ball through a hose pipe :drool:

[niko_cee]

She also looks like she was born a man.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Other than Michelle I'd jump on all of them.

[Pleb]

I will gladly take the one in the top middle mainly for shameful lustage purposes.

[wullie]

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-JfOY8IXl410/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAHA/lrm-AHTD1_4/photo.jpg

He always runs while others walk

http://cwherald.com/images/articles/21_11_2014/435637_0.jpg

He acts while other men just talk

http://www.in-cumbria.com/portalsuite/image//7c7abf6f-517f-4750-a9a3-fd661e503a01/mainMediaSize=0x425_type=image_publish=true__image .jpg

He looks at this world and wants it all

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-fOpJ27VbgG4/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAACk/BhU6tciNC8w/photo.jpg

So he strikes like Thunderballlllllllllllllllllllllllllll

[Giggles]

http://www.theladbible.com/entertainment/film-and-tv-loud-self-loving-apprentice-candidate-used-to-be-a-lap-dancer-20161002

:drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lads mags when she gets fired :drool:

[Shindig]

I wonder if any of the previous winners have gone on to do anything?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I know that Tom keeps inventing shit for Sugar.

[7om]

Just had a gander at this year's dickheads since it starts tomorrow and my favourite to be the biggest arsehole is JD O'Brien.

I don't know why, but I get the impression that he's the next "everything I touch turns to sold".

[igor_balis]

Don't disrespect the dead, 7om.

[Ian]

JD gave it the "doesn't suffer fools lightly" business which is a key indicator of a megacunt so he's definitely going to be in the conversation.

[7om]

Don't disrespect the dead, 7om.

I loved "The Brand".

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The dickheads are back :drool:

[Byron]

This is already proper lolworthy.

[Byron]

The Big K :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

But you can call me K
...
If you want.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Jessica is proper fucking mental.

[Byron]

The Big K is going to be a billionaire, then Prime Minister.

'My way is a super highway'

He's leaving this week, without a fucking doubt :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

'I've watched a bit of Bargain Hunt' is an amazing line to seal being project manager.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Jessica is stunning, just a shame she's a fucking mentalist.

[Browning]

The girls are absolutely shambolic.

[P_3]

Absolute shambles from the get go for everyone. Just how we like it. :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Not telling the guy with the items where to go :D

[Browning]

Spent what,3 hours with that expert and then completely ignored him.

[niko_cee]

The wife forgot this was on for 24 blissful minutes.

:drool:

Turn it over and the first thing is "if you can't get cash it's not sold". It's 20 mother fucking 16. Not everything is sold out of a boot in the east end anymore. God I hate this shit. It makes you want Trump to win the Presidency just so he can launch a tactical nuclear strike against Amstrad and Associates.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Alana looked so happy.

[Shindig]

Whatever. He bought Clive Sinclair out and never wants you to forget it.

[Browning]

The boys have got to win this. That £175 sale alone should win it.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The boys have got to win this. That £175 sale alone should win it.

Indeed.

He smashed it.

[P_3]

The girls selling those £300 vases for £15 is pretty special.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The girls selling those £300 vases for £15 is pretty special.

Also surprised that he didn't mention that they sold the chair for £17.50. The boys sold theirs for £225.

They were absolutely clueless.

[Browning]

Easy decision.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Ad campaigns in week 2 :drool:

[Ian]

The girls selling those £300 vases for £15 is pretty special.

The best thing about this was when they highlighted on You're Fired that when Sugar pointed this out to Natalie that under her breath she said "....Fuck."

Speaking of You're Fired, disappointed that Romesh Ranganathan isn't back but Rhod Gilbert is a big improvement over Jack Dee. Who I don't hate but didn't work on the show.

[7om]

That Jessica needs strangling with piano wire, she's infuriating.

Some of the introductions were pretty special but I'm miffed that my prediction for biggest arsehole, JD, seemed fairly normal. I love the ad campaign stuff and it only being week 2 should ensure it's a complete shambles. Can't wait.

[Ian]

In Jessica, Rebecca and the mousy-haired London one the girls have three actual mentals right off the bat.

[wullie]

James Bond dancing at the end cements him as the series winner.

[Vim]

The only girl with any sort of promise is Aleksandra. The one who describes herself as Jim Carrey is so unbearable, even more than Carrey himself.

[SvN]

I love to mock the twats, but realistically, noone knew how much that stuff was worth. I feel I can be more critical of the people that had stuff valued and ignored it. But who is to know that two shit vases are worth hundreds?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I had them being £200 just from a first glance on screen.

They're shit but clearly the type of shit that antique wankers love.

I have watched a LOT of Bargain Hunt though so I'm pretty much an industry expert.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I was glad he vetoed 'Emojeans' but what the fuck is the day after yesterday?

[Byron]

Losing the jeans :D

Just sack the lot of them now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Jessica :D

[Browning]

Leaving the jeans behind. :D

Fucking hell, can he just fire all the girls?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Dylan is a shambles.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The adverts are amazing, especially the men's one.

[P_3]

Haven't a clue who won. Both have been pretty poor.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I think the women will edge it for not forgetting to do all their adverts.

Oh and the fact that they didn't fluff the pitch as badly as the men.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I fucking love Karthik.

[Byron]

I refuse to believe that Karthik has had a humble opinion in his entire life.

[Browning]

No winner. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Christ these lot are so shit.

I did the model's hair, cleaning...

[P_3]

This is interesting. Hopefully two people go.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

This is interesting. Hopefully two people go.

I have Macai going for sure but about half of both teams could be cut.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Macai and the mental Scottish woman to go.

[Byron]

Karthik and Jessica for me.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Karthik and Jessica for me.

I'd hate that if it happened.

Karthik is an absolute done and Jessica is stunning, although mental.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Alana has folded so much that she might go.

[Vim]

Macai should have gone as well.

I fucking love Karthik as well. :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

She is coming off so badly on You're Fired.

There's a reason why she only did the hair and cleaning, she's so fucking thick.

[Vim]

I'm genuinely asking myself how she was picked for the program. She is clearly uninterested.

"Indians are brown" :D Fucking hell.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That should never have been cut from the show, it was stunning.

Karthik :cool:

[wullie]

James Bond had little input because a stylish man like him wouldn't be seen dead in commoner fabric. Saying that, I hear it is just as good as Japanese food.

[7om]

:lol: just about sums up that episode.

I was shocked he didn't sack two because Sugar seemed pretty pissed with the whole thing. Karthik is great entertainment but I'd be shocked if he makes it past halfway. He'll get sacked or someone (hopefully Claude) will strangle him.

[Ian]

Amazing episode. Karthik is a lunatic twat but I love him.

About five people could have gone there. I'm liking Rhod Gilbert on You're Fired as well.

[Giggles]

Forgot to set this to record :moop:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sausages, sweets.

Practically the same, Sugar.

[Ian]

This could be a proper shambles of a clash if these two as PMs are anything to go by so far.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He wants the man who fell apart last week to pitch? What could possible go wrong?

[Ian]

Is Oliver just looking around until he remembers a name? He's like Tory Boy,

[wullie]

So er, yeah. The, the, the name, is er, James er, James Bond. Licence to er, licence to drive. Sorry, licence to kill. So, yeah

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Salt and vinegar fudge? Christ.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Suck it and sea :D

[Browning]

Both of those stood out to me as total shambles moments.

That and the Brighton pitch.

[Ian]

"I'm thinking of three for something."

Fuck me. :D

[Ian]

Three for something might genuinely be one of my favourite Apprentice moments of all time, in a really understated way.

[Browning]

He's going to try and get more money out of them. :D He wouldn't even go up £4. They're coming out of there with less than £300.

[Ian]

"I was this close to asking him for more money."

He was this close to kicking your balls through your arsehole, Sofiane, you dickwad.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Just give Karthik the win now, everyone else is shit.

[Browning]

That guy was absolutely seething about the £1.07 thing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Who wants to suck it

:D

He's going to be arrested.

[Ian]

Oliver just wanted a go on the bike, bless him.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

They should have just gone for salted caramel fudge. That would have sold itself, salt and vinegar though lol.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Oliver is gone.

Goodnight James Bond.

[Ian]

Oliver gritting his teeth as soon as the "Was he a good PM?" question was asked and before it was answered.

[Ian]

Goodnight, sweet prince.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

He's drowning.

[P_3]

Poor lad, he's nice but he does waffle on. :sorry:

[Ian]

You can't help but feel that Rhod Gilbert's going to give him a right going over.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

James Bond is looking very dapper on You're Fired.

[wullie]

It must have been a fake firing, like in You Only Live Twice.

[Byron]

Claude :cool:

He sounded like he wanted to nut Mukai.

[Giggles]

Haven't really watched since the first week, why did that bint walk out of the show?

[Byron]

Fucking hell. Make a fucking decision love.

[Reg]

A few good lines tonight.

"JD, did you hear about the tea?"
"I did. It's under control."

[Sofiane struggling to make a sale.] "The scarves are made by a French lady."

"'Swede', what's 'swede'?"
"Suede."

[Browning]

I had to look at the picture on page 1 to learn Samuel's name. He featured a lot in the "Next time" bit but I can't even recall him doing anything whatsoever. Is it just me?

[wullie]

Now Bond is out I think JD is my new favourite, with his face one size too small for his head. Frances is lovely, and so far hasn't outed herself as a braying moron although THE PROCESS is just getting cracking.

[Ian]

Has JD done anything yet? Other than revolutionising tea.

[SvN]

JD seems like a decent bloke. Not sure how competent he is yet.

[wullie]

Sofiane has a lot of tenacity, or at least his hairline does the way it's desperately clinging on for dear life.

[Vim]

Why was Karthik in the board room there? He was perfectly fine in the task. PM should have gone for consciously deciding not to do the thing that they were told would raise sales by up to 40%.

[Ian]

I think she took Karthik in the hope that he'd get gobby and bury himself.

[Byron]

I thought Karthik was decent. Sugar had a go at him for not selling loads but he was charming and was putting himself in front of customers and that's the main thing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Finally catching up now, I had heard that someone quit but I assumed someone would do so in the boardroom.

Christ, didn't see that coming.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

If you put water in a cup it becomes a cup, if you put water in a bottle it becomes a bottle.

Might be the greatest line ever spoken.

[7om]

Just caught up.

I couldn't help but think the Aleksandra walk out was scripted. It just didn't look real what with her not seemingly too upset, the timing and Claude not even saying a word. It felt like some shit you'd see on American reality shows where it's all blatantly scripted down to every word and camera angle.

My new least favourite is Rebecca. Fucking wets her knickers at every opportunity and seems thoroughly fake and over the top. Also she has thinner lips than Lord Voldemort and it distracts me.

[Browning]

Needs to be at least a double here. Wouldn't blame him for a treble.

[wullie]

All my heroes keep letting me down, JD noooooooooooooooo! Karthik's easily the best value, but I won't support him as it's a kiss of death, so for now my favourite is the girl who keeps throwing pissed off glances to camera despite almost scuppering the team by not being able to spell.

Have Courtney and Samuel been in it the whole time? I don't remember either doing a thing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Samuel's advert idea sounds genuinely fucking mental.

I mean the stunt thing, it's fucking bonkers. What is meant to be happening?

Christ both PM's were shit, JD should stick to the teas.

[7om]

I think that's the first episode I found out Samuel was a contestant and he came across as a complete twat. Awful idea for the mime performance and acted the cunt when he inserted himself into the pitch at the last minute.

Paul is also rising up in the arsehole rankings. He always seems so eager to call an idea shit or his teammates crap but never actually offers any alternative or the ability to change for the better. It doesn't help that he's also a gobby twat and I thought Sofiane was a bit hard done by getting shouted down by him every time he tried to speak. It was a shambles all around this week, basically.

[SvN]

Paul is a total dickhead. He's that person who thinks everyone else is thick except for him, yet he's contributing less than them.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm surprised he didn't murder anyone in the process.

Sofiane nailed it when they were trying to finalise the crowd-funding page, he looked like he was going to melt under all the stress.

[Browning]

Glad to see there has been 2 more posts since mine questioning where the fuck Samuel had been up until that last episode. He surely won't last much longer having done nothing until that task and then been a really shit PM.

[Vim]

It's got to be the first time in history that someone tried getting noticed in a crowd using fucking mime.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Oh and Karthik forgetting Alana's name was fucking brilliant.

http://digitalspyuk.cdnds.net/16/40/480x240/landscape-1475773857-the-apprentice-karthik-nagesan-hair.gif

Smooth as fuck.

[wullie]

I don't like seeing him when they win a task though, because in casual clothes there's the danger his chest hair will become sentient, escape and eat everybody.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Karen :D

Brilliant shit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Tahini and soup :D

I love the product sourcing task.

[Giggles]

Is Morocco in Turkey?

Christ.

[Ian]

Fucking love this task.

I'll need to confer with Byron but I think Paul is a surprise contender for this year's Threshing Machine Candidate of Choice.

[Ian]

Is Morocco in Turkey?

Christ.

"I don't know...."

Fuck me.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Karen is beasting it up.

[Ian]

I'm more in love with her and her slightly weird face every time I watch this.

I'm slightly worried that my fantasy is her telling me what a shit cunt I am.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Courtney to go.

Whoops. I mean Sofiane.

No, Rebecca for the soap/soup.

[Ian]

Hah, Frances shat her pants there.

[Ian]

"I'm not a twat, basically." :D

She should be good value on You're Fired.

Frances has a fine repertoire of filthy smirks, incidentally. Just a shame she's desperately irritating.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I don't care how crazy she is, I'd happily get Jessica on a webcam.

[P_3]

It is all about the Irish lass for me now. Guinevere or whatever her name is.

[Giggles]

She looks like a demon in the sack that would also be likely to glass you an hour later :drool:

[SvN]

I thought Karen and Alan were right cunts to Alana in the boardroom about her negotiating. Who cares if you don't like her style, she got a good discount.

[Ian]

Yeah that was bollocks. As long as she's not getting 'em out it doesn't matter how she chooses to negotiate.

[wullie]

They should use Claude for just the interviews from next year and have Karthik as the right-hand man. Just keep him on telly somehow.

The soap/soup thing is at least understandable compared to one of Lord Sugar's Potential Next Business Partners not knowing if Morocco is a city in Turkey and Trishna leeding the nite task where they had to bye things.

[7om]

Yeah, there were a few puzzling reactions to the negotiations. Why would they give a shit if Allana sweet talks the seller into a great discount? Sugar would be the first one to call her a cunt if she get steamrollered and paid full price. Really odd, that and Karen seemed particularly keen to have a pop.

Glad to see Voldemort go, though. Sick of her.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Didn't they love it when that Irish goddess got a guy to basically give her a diamond too?

[SvN]

Yep, they praised her for "using her charm". Karren's criticism came across as her being bitter that she can no longer get away with that shit.

I still would though, of course.

[Ian]

I think the issue is portraying herself in a "vulnerable" girly-girl sort of way rather than using sex in whatever manner she deems appropriate for her definition of an empowered woman.

I'm still not seeing many convincing contenders yet.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The Big K running shit :cool:

[Ian]

Nae luck, Frances. Karthik as PM is going to be some epic scenes.

"Project managed the conception of my baby boy." :D

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The jet ski is going to be Sofiane's new tagine.

He'll be mooching about the boat show trying to sell it himself for the other team.

[Ian]

There are at least four of these cunts I'd be firing right now if I had my way.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

How is there no fucking business model at this boat show?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sugar will be SEETHING at Samuel undercutting the RRP.

[Ian]

I was a pretty shit salesman in my brief stint at the job but even I know you can't afford to piss about when people are walking past, especially for expensive shit.

Also, Samuel is a cunt.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sofiane is so shit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Jessica's lies :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I fucking love Karthik.

[Ian]

Sofiane needs a slap.

Dillon blaming the weather. That'll wash, mate.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Karthik will show Alanna how much a leader he is when he impregnates her.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fucking hell, what a fisting.

Karthik must be done :(

[P_3]

£188 in total. Shocking. :D

[Ian]

It's a colossal fisting but Karthik has done enough previously to scrape through in the face of the likes of Dillon and Alanna, surely?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

£46 after getting CHALLENGED by Sugar.

Bury the fucker, Karthik.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

[Ian]

Fucking hell.

[Ian]

Any of these pricks could go. How many extra firings does he have to spare?

if he gets rid of all three I'll be erect but I don't think he has the elbow room for that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I don't know how Alanna escaped.

All she does is do her stupid gormless face.

[Reg]

Karthik :D

"The reason I was thinking of using the changing robe to change was the 'wow' factor ... However, there is the question of taste as well."

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Russell Kane on You're Fired, ugh.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That neckline on Karthik :drool:

[Ian]

What's with all the Samuel love on You're Fired? Am I missing something? I thought he'd been total balls so far.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I found it a bit off too.

The only 'lol' thing he did was the bicycle task in a fucking dribbling mongo way.

[wullie]

Frances was good, apart from 'which model jetski is it?' 'the white one'



That neckline on Karthik :drool:

Every time we've seen him dressing casually it's been a scary sight. To think we almost had his trousers down for the wow factor too.

[7om]

That was a savage firing of Karthik but richly deserved. He looked like a complete cretin this week and his 'give me a laptop and I'll make you a billion pound' line was just enough to bury himself. Beautiful.

I don't know why everyone started bumming Dillon for being such a nice guy, he comes across as a bit of a backstabber, to be honest.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

You disgusting homophobic bastard.

[SvN]

I don't know why everyone started bumming Dillon for being such a nice guy, he comes across as a bit of a backstabber, to be honest.

Indeed. When they phoned the other team and they hadn't sold any jet skis, you could tell he wanted to start a bitching session after they hung up. "So they've sold none?" and Samuel quickly said that they need to just leave them to it.

[Browning]

I was hoping he would fire Sofiane despite him being on the winning team, he's such a prick.

Karthik has got away with being a bit shit for ages by saying he would impress as PM. Getting fisted that bad as PM meant he simply had to go. Wouldn't have blamed Sugar if he had fired the whole team.

[GS]

Apart from Sofiane, there's no-one left I actively dislike. Karthik has been great value, so it's a shame he was fired.

[Ian]

Sofiane is the worst of what's left but I Dillon needs a boot up the hole as well. Paul, Courtney and Frances (who seems to find something else she's a natural talent at every week) are in pain in the arse territory. The rest are a mix of moderately annoying to okay. Nobody especially likeable now that Big K has gone.

Is Grainne the best one in terms of actual competence?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://us13.campaign-archive1.com/?u=763b440286c6995c622204726&id=a749fb3246&e=2704005ac4

I'm going to bag so many women :drool:

[Ian]

Dillon's face makes me nauseous.

[Ian]

With. Definitely with.

Frances discovers something else that she's a natural talent at. The annoying little cow.

[Ian]

Paul is such a gobby twat. Trishna and Frances should be safe regardless of who he brings back. Any of the other three could go.

[SvN]

I want to strangle Frances. Everything she says seems to be some version of "I can't believe how amazing I am. I never knew I was such a natural at _________". She reminds me of a mate's girlfriend who I cannot stand.

[SvN]

The whole pricing this was ridiculous for Paul's team. The people who paid £35 thought food was included. Why didn't they just greet them on arrival and say "Right, here's a voucher, show this when you order food and it will be free". I doubt the burger was more than £13 anyway. And this way you don't end up pissing them off and having to give them a free meal as an apology.

[wullie]

Gone off Frances, the whole time she was just telling Paul how great they work together and how they're the best and win the task bigly, while he was just planning how to dispose of her corpse. Grainne is probably the best one left, mainly because she's the only one I can't remember doing anything morbidly thick.

[GS]

Grainne seems to (mostly) relentlessly competent, which is more than can be said for most. Alana seems to be doing well after an inauspicious start - Brady seems to have decided that she likes her too, which should help her.

I'm surprised the Geordie girl is still there - she's fucked up routinely on pricing / negotiation, and she comes across as unhinged. Perhaps it's just the editing.

[7om]

To be fair to Sugar, his firings have been spot on recently. Paul has been a cunt for the last few weeks and was glad to see the back of him. I was actually surprised Sugar didn't tear him a new arsehole when he kept answering back and talking over him in the boardroom.

Dillon is next on my hit list.

[GS]

Paul was one poor task performance away from nutting somebody, you couldn't really quibble with his sacking.

It's a shame Frances is so annoying.

[wullie]

I want Dillon to go to the final, his eyes seem to get further apart each week so by the interviews he'll have 360 degree vision.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Watching now

Lol at Dillion and his mermaids.

Grainne in the mermaid costume :drool:

I'd have stopped for her.

The food for the casino night :harold:

Karen has fucking killed it again with 'Carry on up the Aquarium'.

I bet Paul's been nutted a few times in his life, what a cunt.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Why does their VR look like it was from a 90s movie?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Why a lost badger in space?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Grainne :D

Correct decision on both of those.

[Ian]

Grainne shat her pants there, thinking she might be gone too.

Glad at the twe two who've gone. What a load of tosh, though. Some of these lot could get absolutely slaughtered come the interviews.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That clip they just showed on You're Fired of Alanna being rejected for a high five.

[P_3]

I quite enjoyed that. Sofiane needed to go. He's been pants since the market task (was there one?) Dillon could have maybe survived but Alan has a crush on Granny and needed rid of 2, so off he went. Courtney and Jessica are definitely fucking, they bounce off each other too well.

[SvN]

Dillon pulling the gay card at the 11th hour was a low spot.

[wullie]

Best part was Sofiane's 'That's a very interesting question' as panic engulfed his face and he manically looked round for someone to answer it. Now he's done, his hairline can finally retire too.

[Ian]

Sofiane's face was also amazing when Sugar asked if he'd been a good PM, before anybody had even had a chance to respond.

He knew, bless 'im.


Dillon pulling the gay card at the 11th hour was a low spot.

One of the more pathetic boardroom ploys.

[wullie]

Courtney next, I still can't remember a single thing he's done. Trishna reminds me of an Asian Susan Calman, so I don't like her based mostly on that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Courtney next, I still can't remember a single thing he's done. Trishna reminds me of an Asian Susan Calman, so I don't like her based mostly on that.

Christ I can't unsee it now.

[Giggles]

Why are papers reporting Sugar accidentally revealing the winner on twitter and not fucking say who it was?

[Browning]

Why are papers reporting Sugar accidentally revealing the winner on twitter and not fucking say who it was?

Alana, allegedly.

[Ian]

And can we keep all discussion of that spoilered too please, chaps? I'm sure if the rumour is out there it'll find it's way to my ears eventually but I'd rather avoid if possible.

[Giggles]

And can we keep all discussion of that spoilered too please, chaps? I'm sure if the rumour is out there it'll find it's way to my ears eventually but I'd rather avoid if possible.

So long as it's spoilered you should be OK. I was actively trying to find out this morning and couldn't. More than likely just publicity anyway.

[Browning]

The show people have come out and confirmed he only ever follows the winner on Twitter, and he followed her randomly and then unfollowed her when he realised, so there could be truth in it.

[Ian]

Of course you got an A* in Geography, Frances. You are the world's foremost polymath.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Giin? Ugh.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Grainne's going to be on the floor by the end of this task.

[Ian]

Giin is shit, Colony Gin is a marketing disaster waiting to happen.

[Browning]

Poor Frances. :(

[Ian]

Has a candidate as good as Grainne ever done something as fucking retarded as this?

Jesus wept.

[Browning]

I don't know if Grainne is actually any good, it's just the others are royally shit.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Courtney sounds like a polymorph has stolen all his charisma.

[Ian]

Has Courtney just Solomon'd his way through this so far? But with none of Solomon's dopey charm.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

The colony gin looks like the piss of a sick man.

[Ian]

Trishna's absolutely hanging, isn't she?

[Browning]

Lord Sugar will lose his shit over them lying there.

[Ian]

There's potential for some glorious boardroom scenes here.

[Ian]

Did she just mistake Africa for India?

[Ian]

What the fuck is going on in this conversation? Fucking hell. What a disaster.

EDIT: Wait, a gin you can LITERALLY share with your friends!?!?!?!

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm calling bullshit on that A*.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I lolled at giin and toonic. .

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Frances :D

She's going.

[Browning]

She better not.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Interviews next week :drool:

[Ian]

Interviews. :drool:

Fucking have it.

[Giggles]

Thank got that little hamster faced cunt is gone.

[SvN]

Trishna did her best to become the female Paul this week. No idea what she was playing at.

[wullie]

I only caught the first half, but Courtney calling it Giin to show that you drink it with friends suggests that all other gins are aimed at lonely drunks. I've underestimated his moxie.

Glad Trishna's gone, while they all irritate me in different ways she manages it by just being alive.

[Mazuuurk]

EDIT: Wrong thread.

[Smiffy]

You're fired.

[Vim]

Well, that was shit all round. Alana was annoying in the first few weeks but she seems to be the only reasonable one in the last couple of tasks.

[P_3]

All three girls should have gone. They were awful. Though the others were just as bad. How anyone bought into their Giin is a fucking mystery.

[Browning]

Just watched this again and with the knowledge of who got fired, you could really see how fucking awful she was. She just moaned and moaned throughout the whole thing, she attacked her own PM in a really unprofessional manner and worst of all when Frances offered to remove the shitty orange colour to get sales she jumped in and over ruled her, no doubt putting Tesco right off. Useless.

[GS]

It was good fun at the end when they went back to the house and the other two girls literally round straight round Frances to embrace Grainne instead.

[7om]

Damn, I thought for certain Frances was gone this week. Calling it 'Colony' and also the fact she's lost 8/10 I thought would be held against her. The part where Grainne and Trishna were just getting pissed in the distillery was mental, how did they think they weren't going to get slaughtered over that.

My prediction for final two now is Allana and Jessica. Grainne looked like shit this week and I just wouldn't be surprised to see her stumble in the interview. Courtney is going to get sodomised by Claude, I reckon.

[GS]

I'm an Alana fan. She seems to be very good, whilst also coming across as a decent enough person.

Frances seems to be insufferably arrogant without any justification, and a thorough beasting in the interviews would be most welcome.

[SvN]

Alana started quite poorly and it seems to me like her reputation with the other contestants never recovered, which has often led to her being given the shit roles in tasks. But she's done very well with everything thrown at her I think.

I hope Frances leaves the interviews in tears.

[Davgooner]

Frances. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I think Zom is on the money.

Especially with his thoughts on Claude and Courtney.

[Browning]

Claude Vs Courtney was :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I had money on Alanna and Jessica.

I don't think any of the businesses in the interview stage sounded all that brilliant tbh.

Baking, kids clothing, make up, clothing through social media and novelty gifts. All a bit meh.

Courtney pitching to the COLLECTIVE MASSIVE is going to be fun.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Oh and get Grainne and Jessica in lads mags pronto :drool:

Holy shit, Grainne's dress on You're Fired. My word.

Jessica too, fucking hell.

[Ian]

Fucking Courtney. Jesus Christ.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_g76FUB9XU

So good even now.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/09/28/08/38D97E8B00000578-3811170-image-a-3_1475047811167.jpg

https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/nintchdbpict000270486686.jpg?w=650&strip=all

Get Frances in the mags too.

[P_3]

The final is on tonight at 9pm, don't forget.

[Ian]

Please God don't let it be Courtney.

[7om]

Just watched the interview epidodes.

I think the big thing I took away from it was that I was wrong about Claude's feelings towards Courteney. I thought he genuinely despised the geezer but it became obvious that in fact he was just desperate for Courteney to show a bit of passion and come out of his shell. Watching him pitch to the experts will be interesting at least, I just hope he doesn't freeze like he did in some tasks.

[Smiffy]

Please God don't let it be Courtney.

He looks constantly stoned. I haven't really watched these shows before but I've been on this one for a few weeks now so I've got to ask, why would you employ any of them? :cab:

[Browning]

He looks constantly stoned. I haven't really watched these shows before but I've been on this one for a few weeks now so I've got to ask, why would you employ any of them? :cab:

He's not. He's giving one of them £250,000. :D