Weekend Football (16th-18th September) Sponsored by Mike & Baz going to Goodison Park

[Baz]

On Saturday, two of the forum's favourite Liverpool fans will be going to watch Everton vs Middlesbrough LIVE at Goodison Park, courtesy of a mate who's give us his season tickets while he goes to a wedding. :baz: :gs:

FRIDAY 16th SEPTEMBER (aka iPhone 7 Day)

20:00 Chelsea V Liverpool

SATURDAY 17th SEPTEMBER

15:00 Hull V Arsenal
15:00 Leicester V Burnley
15:00 City V Bournemouth
15:00 West Brom V West Ham
17:30 Everton V Middlesbrough

SUNDAY 18th SEPTEMBER

12:00 Watford V United
14:15 Crystal Palace V Stoke
14:15 Southampton V Swansea
16:30 Spurs V Sunderland

Anyway, back to mine and Mike's day out. I'll pick him up at about 13:00 I reckon, then we'll walk to the train station near me and get to Liverpool at about 14:30, have a pint in the Crown and then taxi to the Abbey where we'll have another pint and then scout around for another pub nearby. Then there's an offer at Goodison, four pints for £12 so we'll have two each and then watch 90 minutes of intense football. Intense? Well we both want Everton to lose, but we'll be surrounded by passionate blue noses, so can't really let on. So we're putting ten £1 bets on, backing Everton, so we can cheer them on. So the intensity comes from potential cash money winnings. I'll be using Sky's #RequestABet to make sure I can get on Lukaku to score another hat-trick and Everton to win 3-0, two weeks in a row. Other than that, a Baines brace, maybe bet on a penalty miss, that kind of thing. Keeps you busy through a 0-0 draw, dunnit. Then after the game we'll probably taxi to Blob Shop for an 89p Boddingtons, before getting the train back to the High Street - hopefully to meet Tom (http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?967-I-m-Going-On-A-Stag-Do-With-Some-quot-Rugby-Lads). There's three good pubs so we'll go to them, then Mike's getting the bus home and I'll be heading to Warrington to meet up with some mates and spend my winnings. What a day. How good's football.

Also this weekend, every Championship game is on Saturday:
https://i.imgur.com/QesIE6U.png

[Magic]

What is this shit on Friday night?

[Giggles]

What is this shit on Friday night?

Rachel Riley FNF day.

[John]

What sort of tadger gives their season tickets to someone who supports a rival club?

[mugbull]

Friday night is probably the best time for a football match honestly. One a week every week and we're golden

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's the worst, leaves the weekend blank as fuck (if your team is playing). The international weeks when they all play Friday are awful.

I can't see us getting anything out of Liverpool. They will molest us on the break.

[Adamski]

Friday night games are great. Few pints and watch the game then wake up on Saturday with the whole weekend ahead of you.

Provided you've got a life.

[Kikó]

Watford are shit but it'll still be a crap game. Maybe 1-0 either way.

[niko_cee]

It's the worst, leaves the weekend blank as fuck (if your team is playing). The international weeks when they all play Friday are awful.

I can't see us getting anything out of Liverpool. They will molest us on the break.

Conte's teams can be broken on?

No chance. Liverpool don't win back-to-back at Chelsea. Hazard to star in a 2-0/2-1.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Our centre backs are Sideshow Bob and Sideshow Gary. I have more confidence in the future of VHS.

[Demerit]

I think we might dick United on Sunday.

2-1 Watford

[phonics]

Did anyone watch The Premier League Show last night? That show is weird. An excellent long interview between Troy Deeney and Anthony Joshua talking about growing up, being in jail, what it's like to arrive at the top only to cut to Chris Sutton and Gabby Logan on a couch spilling the same old platitudes. It's a shame as it's quite close to something good.

The weirdest part has to be Trevor Sinclairs VR nightmare. He seems to live in some Deux Ex: Human Revolution space with gold sparks flying around him and then the football comes on the screen and Trev is green-screened onto the match where he walks about the pitch during the replay. It's so, so bad.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Chris Sutton's punditry is fascinating. He's obviously going for the Bob Willis angle, but he can't quite pull it off in the sycophancy-soaked environment that is mainstream English football.

[phonics]

He's crap. If he can't moan about 'modern footballers' then he has absolutely nothing to say.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Jimmy Floyd]

Victory at Stamford Bridge sends a message.

Harold Godwinson probably thought that.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Reg]

We got back on track midweek so I reckon an away win for us tomorrow. Get in to the top six and stay there.

Chelsea to do Liverpool tonight I reckon. Costa to wind up and make mugs of whoever's at centre back.

[Lewis]

Liverpool will win, and then lose their next game against somebody crap.

[Jimmy Floyd]

McClaren era Middlesbrough used to do that. Plug along in 11th, but thrash United, Chelsea and Liverpool with ease up at the Post-Industrial Wasteland Stadium.

[niko_cee]

Hull at home, if we ignore the league cup.

Sounds likely.

[Boydy]

Liverpool will win, and then lose their next game against somebody crap.

Yep.

[Disco]

Do I even want to know what iPhone day is? Would I be wrong to assume it's something unbelievably tragic?

[Giggles]

Do I even want to know what iPhone day is? Would I be wrong to assume it's something unbelievably tragic?

The release of the new iPhone (7).

[Jimmy Floyd]

I remember when possibly the 4 came out (fuck knows, I've never even held an iPhone, but this was in 2011-12 winter) I walked past a road closure and huge crowd in London, having to make a half hour detour as a result, because a shitload of teenage girls (and it was almost entirely girls) were crowding some sort of emporium where the phone was about to be released.

The only time I've ever thought to question the Geneva Convention's take on the morality of the use of chemical weapons.

[Giggles]

I remember when possibly the 4 came out (fuck knows, I've never even held an iPhone, but this was in 2011-12 winter) I walked past a road closure and huge crowd in London, having to make a half hour detour as a result, because a shitload of teenage girls (and it was almost entirely girls) were crowding some sort of emporium where the phone was about to be released.

The only time I've ever thought to question the Geneva Convention's take on the morality of the use of chemical weapons.

These days you pay someone to stand in the queue for you.

Though I don't mind it really. I'd queue for a phone quicker than I'd queue for football or event tickets if I had to.

[John]

Events have a limited capacity though, while you can turn up a week later and get the same phone for the same money. I can see the value for children of wanting to queue for ten hours so they have the new one show off in school before anyone else, and parents queuing to silence their children, but as an adult without children where's the value?

[Giggles]

Nothing more than just wanting it as soon as you can get one. Some people are into these things, some aren't.

A lot of the queueing thing is gone by the wayside these days anyway as supply is a lot better.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can't cope with these fucking shirts.

[Baz]

A postman delivered mine.

[Magic]

No Firmy? Fuck this rotational shite.

[phonics]

Jeff Stelling looks a right perv when he's not talking. Too much smile.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Jimmy Floyd]

That collective Football Man seethe about David Luiz tweeting in the dressing room was quite lol. It's David Luiz, lads. He's an idiot.

[Reg]

'Kante's not a top player'. Sounness doesn't like anything or anyone.

[phonics]

That collective Football Man seethe about David Luiz tweeting in the dressing room was quite lol. It's David Luiz, lads. He's an idiot.

It's also 99.9999999% sure it's not him.

[Giggles]

Don't most players sit in a trance in big headphones nowadays now anyway? What's the harm in a tweet?

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's also 99.9999999% sure it's not him.

It had a changing room picture so he must have taken it. But I always assume that PRs run people's twitter accounts because of how bland they are.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Outstanding defence.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It's that sort of defending that makes me feel proud to be British.

[Boydy]

Ivanovic is such a dirty cunt.

Lol at that defending.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lol at Luiz at shooting from there. He's lucky it was blocked.

[phonics]

Wait, why is Ivanovic playing? Did they not buy yet another 25 million pound left back to move Dave over?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Dave can't actually play right back anymore. Just gets railroaded by all sorts.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Jimmy Floyd]

Fuck's sake. Shades of Jermaine Pennant.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That's stunning.

[Boydy]

Hendoooooooo

[phonics]

I'm definitely going to keep picking Chelsea players for fantasy. It's worked an absolute treat the last couple of years.

[Lewis]

If 'Hendo' did that to you on Football Manager you would restart the match.

[Magic]

Hazard as captain really paying off. :drool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

We are a pointless team these days. A load of comedy defenders, and Brazilian wankers who spend more time praying than playing. David Luiz splats squarely into the intersection of the Venn diagram.

[Lewis]

They were being a bit harsh on Antonio Conte before the break. He put all of his best players on the pitch, I'm guessing he told them to win the game, and he's shouted and gesticulated quite a lot since the first goal. These are tried and tested, title-winning methods. What more can he do?

[niko_cee]

Jesus, didn't realise Chelsea were this bad. Going to make the inevitable 4-2 defeat all the more galling. 11 actual pensioners would have probably been better in that first half.

Mignolet (and the defence) remain an absolute bombscare.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Jesus, didn't realise Chelsea were this bad. Going to make the inevitable 4-2 defeat all the more galling.

Oh stop it for goodness sake. I've won this week's round of who can be the most pessimistic and right.

[Reg]

We are a pointless team these days. A load of comedy defenders, and Brazilian wankers who spend more time praying than playing. David Luiz splats squarely into the intersection of the Venn diagram.
You're bad today, but I think you're a certainty for the top four.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You're bad today, but I think you're a certainty for the top four.

Only if other teams are all woeful. We cannot defend whatsoever. The first three games were all against joke teams, and two of them won with last ditch goals.

City, United, Arsenal will all definitely finish above us. Spurs and Liverpool likely to.

[Reg]

I don't see why Conte wouldn't sort out the defending.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He doesn't have the players. Just being a manager with success abroad doesn't make him able to turn water into wine.

[John]

Courtois looks like a bit of a joker now too. Simeone must be doing some voodoo on his goalkeepers.

[Reg]

He doesn't have the players. Just being a manager with success abroad doesn't make him able to turn water into wine.
His qualities do though. He turned a dodgy defence and so-so rated players into monsters. Made Barzagli what he is, for example, I hear.

I also think you're underrating the majority of your players. Most of those guys won a title not too long ago, and I haven't looked but if you took the latter half of last season as a table you'd finish top four unless I'm massively mistaken.

[Giggles]

His qualities do though. He turned a dodgy defence and so-so rated players into monsters. Made Barzagli what he is, for example, I hear.

I also think you're underrating the majority of your players. Most of those guys won a title not too long ago, and I haven't looked but if you took the latter half of last season as a table you'd finish top four unless I'm massively mistaken.

You can't just flick a switch though. Once this lot have given up and decided to go through the motions like they did last season, it's very hard turn it back on. Especially when the same amount lands in your bank every year.

[Lewis]

A balloon with a face drawn on it could be the stand-out defender in a league where Gonzalo Higuain scores forty goals.

[Reg]

They were pretty good once the Mourinho madness was done with. If the weaknesses are defending and motivation coming and going, then Conte's the man.

[Jimmy Floyd]

His qualities do though. He turned a dodgy defence and so-so rated players into monsters. Made Barzagli what he is, for example, I hear.

I also think you're underrating the majority of your players. Most of those guys won a title not too long ago, and I haven't looked but if you took the latter half of last season as a table you'd finish top four unless I'm massively mistaken.

We have our moments, but 'definitely top four' is overestimating the difficulty of what Conte did at Juventus. He's in a competitive league now. I think he's a good manager but I don't expect him to magic us into being a brilliant team in his first season.

[Adamski]

A balloon with a face drawn on it could be the stand-out defender in a league where Gonzalo Higuain scores forty goals.

Surely your little Englander shtick doesn't extend to thinking Italians can't defend?

[Waffdon]

Lack of Batshuayi is dumb.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I keep forgetting that Pedro is there.

[Lewis]

The point was that Andrea Barzagli was already a decent defender, and that you're obviously going to improve when playing in the only side with some other decent ones.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ivanovic will take the car crash headlines in this one, but David Luiz really is fucking dreadful.

[Boydy]

I've been watching this on NBC SN and American adverts are weird. They all have a voiceover directed at the viewer as if the viewer is too stupid to know what the ad's about if they're directly told.

[Smiffy]

.....

[niko_cee]

Oh stop it for goodness sake. I've won this week's round of who can be the most pessimistic and right.

Look, I've seen it happen before, alright?

Anyway, Kante is such a dirty little prick. Really suits Chelsea. Was surprised how poor they were. That back 4 is so immobile (most of the team is really). They'd absolutely clean house in Serie A.

[Jimmy Floyd]

So have I actually. FA Cup 1996? Around then.

EDIT: 1997.

[niko_cee]

Yeah, that was the one I was thinking of. Who was it that came on and changed the game? Zola?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I have a vague memory of Vialli scoring the latter goals, but I was eight.

[niko_cee]

The internet tells me Hughes came on at half-time and scored, and then Zola and Vialli x 2. Early 1997 as well. An omen.

[Reg]

Simeone's contract shortened. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/37389151?ns_mchannel=social&ns_campaign=bbc_match_of_the_day&ns_source=facebook&ns_linkname=sport

He's sounded a bit frustrated recently. Signs of doing a Gus and forcing his way out. He'll move countries next season I think.

[Lewis]

I bet he goes to Milan.

[Shindig]

Sunderland.

[Reg]

Sounds like he wants transfer money. England I think. One of the top 7 ish who don't do great this season.

[niko_cee]

Realistically, only United or Chelsea are at all likely to change manager, and both of those are pretty unlikely.

Inter it is.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Chelsea will take him.

[Lewis]

[The] Arsenal aside, the 'top seven' (lol) have all got their managers sorted, and he isn't going to waste his hard-earned reputation on Southampton. Milan are awash with filthy Chinese money, they are a proper Big Club, and Serie A is toilet.

[Shindig]

Stoke will chuck money at him when they bin Hughes.

[Boydy]

Leicester. They'll finish bottom half this season and Ranieri will step aside.

They'll have a decent-ish Champions League run though.

[John]

Sky have been building to this 'In Off The Bar' thing for years with all their matey rubbish.

[niko_cee]

Simeone's not going to fucking Leicester.

Barca would be more likely.

[Giggles]

He'd never fit there.

[Shindig]

He'd never fit there.

"It says here I'm supposed to take the bins out."

[Ian]

I also think you're underrating the majority of your players. Most of those guys won a title not too long ago

As a United fan I feel confident enough in saying how little this stands for.

[Lewis]

As a percentage of turnover, Pogba cost much less than United's signings of Denis Law and Bryan Robson from Torino and West Brom in 1962 and 1981 respectively. Relative to their latest turnover figure of £102.4m, Crystal Palace's £27m purchase of Christian Benteke last month cost more than United spent to sign Pogba, given this week they confirmed annual revenue of £513m.

http://i.imgur.com/V3W0Pfi.gif

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/37389906

[Baz]

When Lewis posts Drake gifs. :drool:

[Luke Emia]

I saw that on the BBC and couldn't help but laugh.

[Shindig]

Antonio Conte looks like Peter Weller's Italian counterpart.

[Vim]

The media are actually settling on % of turnover as the new trendy stat? :face:

[Magic]

Because rape figures are much higher it's effectively like stealing a teabag in the 60s now.

[Trancemeister]

Hull Jakupovic, Elmohamady, Livermore, Davies, Robertson, Meyler, Huddlestone, Clucas, Diomande, Hernandez, Snodgrass

Arsenal Cech, Bellerin, Mustafi, Koscielny, Monreal, Coquelin, Cazorla, Walcott, Ozil, Iwobi, Sanchez


Leicester Zieler; Simpson, Huth, Morgan , Fuchs; Mahrez, Drinkwater, Amartey, Albrighton; Slimani, Vardy

Burnley Heaton, Lowton, Ward, Mee, Keane, Hendrick, Marney, Defour, Boyd, Arfield, Gray


Man City Bravo, Sagna, Otamendi, Kolarov, Clichy, Fernandinho, De Bruyne, Gundogan, Sterling, Nolito, Iheanacho

Bournemouth Boruc, A Smith, Francis, Cook, Daniels, Ibe, Arter, Surman, Wilshere, Stanislas, King


West Bromwich Foster; Dawson, McAuley, Evans, Galloway; Phillips, Yacob, Fletcher, McClean; Chadli; Rondon

West Ham Adrián, Nordtveit, Collins, Ogbonna, Masuaku, Kouyaté, Noble, Antonio, Lanzini, Payet, Zaza

[Jimmy Floyd]

Hull 4
Arsenal 1
Leicester 4
Burnley 7 (I think)
City 1
Bournemouth 8 (I think)
West Brom 4
West Ham 2

English players. Not many, is it. Last night, Chelsea 1, Liverpool 5.

[Giggles]

Hull 4
Arsenal 1
Leicester 4
Burnley 7 (I think)
City 1
Bournemouth 8 (I think)
West Brom 4
West Ham 2

English players. Not many, is it. Last night, Chelsea 1, Liverpool 5.

Once the EU goes out the window the FA be free to implement the foreigner rule again wouldn't they? Not that the Premier League would allow it mind.

[Lofty]

Wenger starts Sanchez up front again, no Giroud on the bench.

[Magic]

Superb win. :)

[Jimmy Floyd]

I see the 4.5 star manager Owen Coyle has now made his way to Blackburn and is presiding over a bottom of the table start and 1-0 down at home to Rotherham (who, no matter how good a team they might become, will always be the least glamorous opposition in whatever league they're in).

Benny must be crying into his chorizo.

[-james-]

Jack Wilshere is about half the pitch off the pace here. Could be 3-0 just from mistakes he's made.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Lol at the happy hammers.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Lol at West Ham.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

BT have a black woman on their live score thing.

Cracking bit of quota filling.

[Giggles]

Walcott's goal was lovely but Hull are absolutely shite.

[Shindig]

Aye, that was a let-down. Mbemba had a terrifying first-half and Shelvey's gone back to lumping it.

[Jimmy Floyd]

City will cruise this title by 10-15 points. Guardiola is so intense he won't stand for any of the monkey business they got up to last year under Pellegrini.

[Lewis]

I would need to know whether West Ham are playing Good Football before I lol at their relegation start.

[Lewis]

That BBC article I posted cut out that it was actually Corporate Jose himself who brought up the revenue percentage. :drool:

[Sam]

My god, St James park is one of the worst home ground I've ever visited. Awful.

[Byron]

Fuck sake.

[Disco]

My god, St James park is one of the worst home ground I've ever visited. Awful.

I hope you mean the one in Newcastle.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sampaoli's Sevilla looking defensively turd, but a goal up at Eibar anyway from a pikey breakaway goal (actually a cool finish from Vietto).

Suspect Sevilla will come 4th, there is a yawning gap from 3rd down to the rest this year and Villarreal seem to have disintegrated.

[Max Power]

Slimani is a geezer. Proper big nasty centre forward.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Las Palmas are potentially quite fun as an underdog team to follow this season, with their lightning breaks and bright yellow shirts. 1-0 up against Juande Ramos's slightly shambolic Málaga at the moment. Kevin Prince Boateng has unaccountably arrived in the Canaries as well.

Nabil El Zhar plays for them too, and he's 30.

[niko_cee]

Everton resurgent under a new manager, City taking the piss, Liverpool scoring for fun but completely unable to defend . . .

It's like 2013 all over again.

[Giggles]

Same outcome would do.

[Baz]

I actually clapped at full time cos I thought my 40/1 bet had come in. Little did I know the Negredo goal had gone down as an OG. Fuck right off.

[Jimmy Floyd]

If Everton do anything much this season it would expose Martinez a bit.

[niko_cee]

Same outcome would do.

Well, City are going to win the league in all likelihood.

Everton have had a start to the season that puts the shit United usually get served up to shame, but I suppose you still have to win the games.

[Spikey M]

I think I might want West Ham to do a Leeds more than I've ever wanted anything.

[Giggles]

I think I might want West Ham to do a Leeds more than I've ever wanted anything.

Relegation in the first year in the new stadium and all would be fantastic.

[Magic]

Payet to be sold in Jan and Antonio getting a double leg break = forever blowing spermy bubbles? Be good to see those horrible cunts in charge eat dust.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I actually clapped at full time cos I thought my 40/1 bet had come in. Little did I know the Negredo goal had gone down as an OG. Fuck right off.
Fantasy football didn't even give him an assist for it :(

[Jeet]

WBA first on MOTD and not playing a top 4 team aswell!

This is bigger than Leicester winning the title

[Sam]

I hope you mean the one in Newcastle.

Certainly do. Made Highbury look lively, an absolute library considering the 'passionate' fans packing the place out.

[Shindig]

I reckon an expectant Newcastle crowd is probably the worst.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That Morgana Robinson thing looks like one of the worst things ever made.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

That fourth goal, lol.

[Sam]

I reckon an expectant Newcastle crowd is probably the worst.

I can imagine to be fair.Place emptied out after 70 minutes, virtually empty.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/premierleague/1802858/marcus-rashford-offered-new-manchester-united-double-your-money-contract-to-stay-at-old-trafford/

New deal on the verge for Rashford.

[Kikó]

And you're up in the gods. At least it's a decent allocation.

[Magic]

That Morgana Robinson thing looks like one of the worst things ever made.

Yes it does doesn't it.

[John Arne]

Just watched MOTD, and Jenas and Shearer both reckon that the Livermore sending off was wrong, Jenas says "the referee got it wrong, poor decision". Yeah, Jenas learn the fucking laws of the game. It's a textbook red card for a deliberate denial of a goal-scoring opportunity - the ball was going in, and the offence was deliberate - it's a red card. You could argue that it wasn't deliberate, perhaps - but neither Jenas nor Shearer made that argument.

[niko_cee]

The 'keeper was standing right behind him. It wasn't 'going in' in any sense. The ref had a total mare in that game.

[John Arne]

I only saw a couple of replays, but looked to me to be clearly being going to the right of the keeper.

[niko_cee]

He was about 5 yards in front of him. The ball absolutely has to be going in to give a red card there. It looked an easy save if he hadn't touched it. That rule has remained to stop Suarez style situations, not punish random handballs whilst allowing Petr Cech to mow down strikers with (relative) impunity.

[SvN]

Rashford, Rooney, Martial and Ibrahimovic all starting for United.

777447077165076480

[Sam]

I only saw a couple of replays, but looked to me to be clearly being going to the right of the keeper.

Would have been a routine save. Strange red, even stranger that Cech didn't get one.

[Adamski]

Pogba is absolutely terrible.

[Kikó]

Easy so far for Watford.

[randomlegend]

Well this has been a good start :)

Cracking save by De Gea.

[Lewis]

Robbie Savage questioned whether Wayne Rooney was in the team for the sake of it, so expect him never to work in football again.

[Waffdon]

Pogba is absolutely terrible.

Okay.

[Adamski]

Okay.

Plays like a 10 year old down the park.

Positionally naive, terrible touch at times, relies on his pace and power to get out of trouble.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Well played Tony Marshall.

[Trancemeister]

Fucking Capoue scores again. I know if I buy him in the fantasy he'll return do score fuck all for the rest of the season.

[Reg]

Adamski And if his pace and power get him out of trouble?

This is bound to happen. Expensive player not hitting the heights immediately, so rather than "not quite good enough yet" it's "absolutely terrible".

And Watford deserve that.

[Lewis]

He only 'got a toe on it' after he's belted the player off it.

[Adamski]

Adamski And if his pace and power get him out of trouble?

This is bound to happen. Expensive player not hitting the heights immediately, so rather than "not quite good enough yet" it's "absolutely terrible".

And Watford deserve that.

A player costing that amount of money shouldn't need anything to get him out of trouble that frequently.

It's nothing to do with not hitting the heights immediately, I said before he signed that I couldn't believe the fee for the player he is, even in this market.

[Kikó]

Pogba needs to be sold.

[Adamski]

Well played Tony Marshall.

This is terrible, please stop it.

[Reg]

A player costing that amount of money shouldn't need anything to get him out of trouble that frequently.
He uses his best attributes to keep and win the ball. A bit like other good players.

[Lewis]

You wonder whether United realise just how immense Paulp Ogba is shoving him in this shitty midfield two. He should be allowed to do whatever he wants whilst two idiots do his 'discipline' for him, even if they have to give Captain, Leader, Legend the white Fiat Uno treatment.

[Adamski]

He uses his best attributes to keep and win the ball. A bit like other good players.

Cop out.

[Yevrah]

It'd be quite interesting if Mourinho has actually lost it.

[Reg]

You wonder whether United realise just how immense Paulp Ogba is shoving him in this shitty midfield two. He should be allowed to do whatever he wants whilst two idiots do his 'discipline' for him, even if they have to give Captain, Leader, Legend the white Fiat Uno treatment.
What do you mean? He's playing in a three with Fellaini behind and Rooney to the right of him.

[Lewis]

What do you mean? He's playing in a three with Fellaini behind and Rooney to the right of him.

Two players hardly renowned for their positional and defensive qualities.

[Reg]

He's switched it now and put Rooney no.10.

Yeah, I agree Lewis. Schneiderlin and Herrera would probably complement him better.

[Raoul Duke]

Schneiderlein and Herrera would make the most sense with Pogba, with Carrick chipping in occasionally.

EDIT: Reg :cool:

[Jimmy Floyd]

It'd be quite interesting if Mourinho has actually lost it.

Does happen to great managers. Clough for one, and there are a lot of parallels there.

[Lewis]

Not until he swaps Rui Faria for a crate of gin.

[Max Power]

Yoooo that Rooney cross

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I fucking love Rashford.

[Ian]

Yoooo that Rooney cross

Yeah it was a bit tasty, wasn't it? Fat cunt.

Rashford, though. :cool:

[Lewis]

Do United do the 'He's one of our own' chant that crap clubs do? They should.

[Kikó]

Set piece master Rooney is a joy.

[Kikó]

What a fucking pointless team.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Sending on 'Memphis' to try and win the game sums it all up.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Jesus :face:

[Ian]

So that was a waste of time. I'm glad we've spent £90m on a midfielder only to partner him with Fellaini and Rooney.

Not that anybody was up to much today.

[Kikó]

Who'd have thought Fellaini as a holding midfielder would continue to stink?

Rooney not a midfielder yet plays in midfield. Can't run, can't pass, can't shoot. Absolutely dog shit and he's the club captain.

Pogba must be wondering why he bothered moving. He's actually not being able to be completely shit and get away with it.

Easy win for Watford. Problems are exactly the same despite the change in boss.

[phonics]

I thought last season was the peak but Mourinho crashing and burning United might just be good enough to never need to watch football again.

[Kikó]

He will. He's changed nothing except having a forward who can score.

[SvN]

Absolute shit today, but we'll be fine. Dropping Rooney will be a good start.

[Lewis]

He's throwing these games to justify doing just that.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Kikó]

Physician heal thyself.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sky have Chinese Super League rights. I didn't know that. Watching some. It's total nonsense. Beijing Guo'an against Shijuzuang Ever Bright. Their shirts aren't even bright.

[Disco]

A liverpool fan enjoying it when hyperbole and unrealistic hype are dashed early in the season.

That's some great Ouroboros-ception shit right there.

[Max Power]

Jesus Stoke are tragic. That miserable twat Hughes must be close to the sack now surely? Always good to see British managers lose their job.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This Stoke team looks quite relegation worthy. How is Shay Given still playing?

[SvN]

Why on Earth would Hughes be close to the sack? Stoke finished 9th last season (1 position ahead of Chelsea).

[Jimmy Floyd]

Why on Earth would Hughes be close to the sack? Stoke finished 9th last season (1 position ahead of Chelsea).

In this era of TV money I'd imagine any team that has a 6-8 game run where they look like going down will sack their manager, regardless of any previous record.

[Max Power]

Why on Earth would Hughes be close to the sack? Stoke finished 9th last season (1 position ahead of Chelsea).

Had a terrible second half to last season as well as a bad start to this. They seem to get thrashed a lot as well, doesn't look good.

[GS]

Stoke have a decent team, so there's no way they should be relegation candidates.

[Lewis]

No they don't. It's all timewasters, Joe Allen, and shit.

[Giggles]

Someone mentioned it earlier, but how does a premier league team still have Given in their top two keepers? Or have they had a couple injured?

[GS]

They do, relative to some of the shite down there.

[Sam]

Would rather enjoy Stoke getting relegated.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Spikey M]

Stoke should have stuck to thugs and hoof merchants.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Pulis's Stoke had an identity. Hughes's Stoke, hmm.

This N'Dong shouldn't be allowed to play with that barnet.

[Giggles]

Starting Victor Wanyama is just asking to end up with 10.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I can't believe that graphic said we got £8 million for Djilobodji. How?

[Giggles]

I can't believe that graphic said we got £8 million for Djilobodji. How?

£8m is the new £750k.

[Magic]

Can someone post all the pics of the scummers with the Boreinho flags? :harold:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Genuinely thought that Kane would fuck that up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

£8 million well spent, by the looks of it. This is the first time I've seen him play and he looks like a genuine fraud to me.

[John]

The money laundering team at Chelsea are doing a grand job. They've tripled their money in one year on a complete non-footballer.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Januzaj with a proper brain dead sending off. He looks a very poor footballer to me. Will no doubt eke out a 10 year bullshit career on the back of having once been at United.

[Giggles]

That was inept as counter attacks get. Jansen is their new Rebrov.

[randomlegend]

Christ we were wank today. Rooney has got to be dropped soon, he's so fucking bad.

[niko_cee]

There must be all sorts of watches in the offing.

[Kikó]

Inter are beating Juve. It's been a good one.

Joe Hart did decent earlier for Torino as well. Head and shoulders above the other players on the pitch.

[Adamski]

Inter :cool:

Get fucked Vim

[Waffdon]

Adamski is annoying as fuck is he no?

[Adamski]

Adamski is annoying as fuck is he no?

Jesus that's a kick in the stones coming from you.

"Saul is life. Saul is bae"

[Lewis]

Fight! Fight! Fight!

[Waffdon]

Jesus that's a kick in the stones coming from you.

"Saul is life. Saul is bae"

You remind me of Miranda Hart, you loopy fuck.

[Adamski]

Good one.

[Giggles]

Me and Smiff was so much better than this.

[Waffdon]

Good one.

I'm sorry but you really are a proper weirdo on this. At least I live in my own wee world when I come on to comment.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Giggles]

You know I'm adding that for this weeks Smiff/y mention, right? :henn0rz:

I left off the y deliberately, so no dice.

[Boydy]

I'm sorry but you really are a proper weirdo on this. At least I live in my own wee world when I come on to comment.

Why is he such a weirdo?

Seems pretty normal to me.

[Adamski]

I'm sorry but you really are a proper weirdo on this. At least I live in my own wee world when I come on to comment.

Not thinking Pogba is worth £90m and being happy Inter won constitutes being a weirdo? How bizarre.

[Byron]

I'd take Adam any day of the week over Waff, if only because Adam doesn't use bae, dece or GOAT.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Waffdon]

Why is he such a weirdo?

Seems pretty normal to me.

Ah just dinna like the cunt. Rubs me up the wrong way I guess. Therefore a weirdo. #WaffLogic

[Adamski]

I know, right? Apparently studying someones posts, Googling their username, obtaining their email address and whereabouts thanks for Facebook is also weird. I mean, wtf?

It's not like you'd go offer someone out for picking on you over the internet, is it? Only an unhinged individual with a record of periodic meltdowns would do something likethat.

Some people are just not right.

What on earth...?

[John]

Adamski is a tit but Waff coating anyone off for being annoying is comical.

[Giggles]

The use of dece and especially deceeeeee certainly swing it in Adamski's favour.

[Waffdon]

Adamski is a tit but Waff coating anyone off for being annoying is comical.

Oh, the irony from me is fucking lovely stuff. I'm glad I'm not alone in Adamski being a tit camp tho

[Waffdon]

The use of dece and especially deceeeeee certainly swing it in Adamski's favour.

Quality vocabulary courtesy of the Elite.

[Kikó]

Rooney best of
https://t.co/fDOdUUepg3

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Our midfield maestro.

[ScousePig]

Januzaj with a proper brain dead sending off. He looks a very poor footballer to me. Will no doubt eke out a 10 year bullshit career on the back of having once been at United.

Conveniently suspended for a mid week trip to QPR in the cup.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://i.imgur.com/b8EXeAE.gif

It's time he was put down really.

[ScousePig]

£8 million well spent, by the looks of it. This is the first time I've seen him play and he looks like a genuine fraud to me.

He's been pretty poor so far. Looks okay for large parts but then goes wondering or makes a howler like today. His forays out of defence to try and get the ball back are suicidal.

And his passing is shocking.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

http://www.independent.ie/sport/soccer/premier-league/manchester-united/stephen-hunt-jose-mourinho-needs-to-play-wayne-rooney-to-maximise-his-sellon-value-35057257.html

I'd say playing him is sinking his value.

[elth]

Jose out.

Seriously though, how Fergie got this club working so well for twenty years is increasingly looking fucking miraculous, we've been a clown fiesta for three years and nothing's changing.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Kikó]

Yes I think it was purely down to Howard Webb.

[Raoul Duke]

Webb's team talks :drool:

Webb's transfers :drool:

Webb's mind games :drool:

[Sam]

http://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/sport/united-players-shock-at-mourinhos-treatment-of-injured-shaw-vxmlvm8q9

The meltdown begins. Start the watch.

[Max Power]

Defeat to Leicester City cost him his job last season...

Obviously too early but I'd love it if we turned them over on Saturday.

[Disco]

Lewis

If this were the mid-90's we could legitimately add Justine Dinburgh to the list, it works almost too well.

[Lewis]

Justi Nedinburgh.

[Giggles]

:D Would be a very Spurs thing to do.

http://www.sportsjoe.ie/football/people-have-got-a-weird-conspiracy-theory-about-tottenhams-spate-of-new-contracts/95972

777811636774133761

[Raoul Duke]

Balenthia have sacked Gaz Nev's replacement after he turned out to be bobbins as well: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/sep/20/valencia-sack-pako-ayestaran-la-liga

[Jimmy Floyd]

They are/have been utterly tragic. He made Neville look like a Vittorio Pozzo / Rinus Michels lovechild.

[elth]

Gosh, maybe there's something wrong at the club that just churning through managers won't fix...

[Jimmy Floyd]

The first rule of football is that all ills are caused by the manager and sacking him will solve them all.

[Ian]

What a match this is going to be. King Wayne up front to have one bounce in off his arse and secure his place in the team.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I'm going to be seething if he somehow manages to fluke one in to fuel the idea that he's still AMAZING who is being played out of position.