[FOOTBALL] Weekend Football Thread - 14th/15th/16th May

[Weaver]

Saturday
Derby vs Hull City - Championship Play Off Semi, Sky Sports, 12:30

Barnsley vs Walsall - League One Play Off Semi, Sky Sports, 17:30

AFC Wimbledon vs Accrington Stanley - League Two Play Off Semi, Sky Sports, 19:30

Bayern Munich vs Hannover - BT Sport, 14:30
Werder Bremen vs Frankfurt - ESPN, 14:30
Deportivo vs Real Madrid and Granada vs Barcelona - Sky Sports, 16:00
Juventus vs Sampdoria - BT Sport, 16:00
Athletic Bilbao vs Sevilla and Atletico Madrid vs Celta Vigo - Sky Sports, 18:30
AC Milan vs Roma, Napoli vs Frosinone and Sassuolo vs Inter - BT Sport, 19:45

Sunday
Arsenal vs Aston Villa
Chelsea vs Leicester City
Everton vs Norwich City
Manchester United vs Bournemouth - Sky Sports
Newcastle vs Spurs
Southampton vs Crystal Palace
Stoke City vs West Ham - Sky Sports
Swansea City vs Man City - Sky Sports
Watford vs Sunderland
West Brom vs Liverpool

Bradford vs Millwall - League One Play Off Semi, 12:15

Plymouth (2) vs Portsmouth (2) - League Two Play Off Semi, 18:00

Celtic vs Motherwell - Sky Sports, 12:30
Braga vs Sporting Lisbon and Benfica vs Nacional - BT Sport, 17:00
Gijon vs Villarreal and two other La Liga games - Sky Sports, 18:30

Monday
Brighton (0) vs Sheffield Wednesday (2) - Championship Play Off Semi, 19:45

[Kikó]

All about Benfica tomorrow. Win and they win the league, draw and Sporting win, they lose on head to head.

United to draw 0-0.

[Ian]

I'm off to Partick vs. Hamilton today.

What a game it's going to be.

[John Arne]

I'm off to Sai Gon v FLC Thanh Hoa soon. Hopefully more than 4,000 turn up.

[Jimmy Floyd]

La Liga's final weekend scheduling - given that all round 37 fixtures were played at the same time - is one of life's great mysteries.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I'm off to Partick vs. Hamilton today.

What a game it's going to be.

I saw someone tweet that everyone attending gets a free photo of the Partick Thistle team thus:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CiVB_wEXIAE1xip.jpg

What a souvenir you shall have.

[mo]

Lol at Sky trying to big up the final Prem fixtures. Bless them, they have to try I suppose.

[Mellberg]

Finally, it's nearly over :drool:

[randomlegend]

All about Benfica tomorrow. Win and they win the league, draw and Sporting win, they lose on head to head.

United to draw 0-0.

When/why did this obsession with Benfica start?

[phonics]

His fiancee is a portugeezer.

[phonics]

731423692597678080

[Davgooner]

Tomorrow will be good.

Eyes right, skin back tight, bollocks to the front...

:rave:

[phonics]

Tomorrow will be good.

Eyes right, skin back tight, bollocks to the front...

:rave:

13-0?

[Mellberg]

Enjoy the game, lads. I'm gonna go fishing or something.

[Shindig]

731423692597678080

Why? He hasn't signed that extension to his contract to immediately retire. Why not lead England out in the Euros, John? Pillock.

[John Arne]

I'm off to Sai Gon v FLC Thanh Hoa soon. Hopefully more than 4,000 turn up.

Half time, 1-0 Saigon.

About 7,500 in the ground - however, 3,000-4,000 are Thanh Hoa fans, which considering they are about 900 miles away is quite a turn out.

[Lewis]

I saw someone tweet that everyone attending gets a free photo of the Partick Thistle team thus:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CiVB_wEXIAE1xip.jpg

What a souvenir you shall have.

Him next to the 'keeper wants to know what time you call this.

[Lewis]

Mauled by the Tigers.

[Lee]

Fuck off Hull.

[Reg]

I don't know if I've seen four players of the same team go off injured. Still have a chance though, we can beat Wednesday by two goals at home.

[Lewis]

Hull are such a pointless club.

[Reg]

I'd missed that Totti has a year extension. He'll earn 1.1m euro.

[Ian]

I saw someone tweet that everyone attending gets a free photo of the Partick Thistle team thus:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CiVB_wEXIAE1xip.jpg

What a souvenir you shall have.

Never got mine. I've been robbed.

2-2 so far.

[Disco]

They seem weirdly spread out for a team photo, as if they're about to be joined by Mr Motivator for a morning routine.

[Davgooner]

Not Hull, for fuck sake.

[Mellberg]

I'd love it to be Hull. Want Wednesday, Brighton and Derby in the Championship next year.

[Lewis]

Derby look a bit rubbish. Do they play Good Football, or have they just BOTTLED this?

[Giggles]

Hull = Burnley = :yawn:

[Lewis]

The Decline of the North. Stick it up your arse, Gary Neville.

[Samadini]

40 seconds in and the Women's FA Cup final is already a shambles.

[neo_hippy]

I don't know if I've seen four players of the same team go off injured. Still have a chance though, we can beat Wednesday by two goals at home.

You haven't scored any goals in 270 minutes against them so far this season. What makes you think with a less than full strength team you can score 3 goals in 90 minutes?

[Lewis]

That was comprehensive. Hull first becoming half-decent over a decade over coincided with United having that weird shitty patch, and loads of United fans at school suddenly realised the superior virtue of supporting your local team, so this seems like a good time to make the move myself.

[Raoul Duke]

Beast of a goal in the Women's FA Cup. Bit like that Harry Kane one against Arsenal.

[Waffdon]

Andy Robertson :cool:

[Magic]

I'd missed that Totti has a year extension. He'll earn 1.1m euro.

Not surprising he absolutely dons it every time he comes off the bench. Why he isn't starting is a mystery.

[phonics]

Not surprising he absolutely dons it every time he comes off the bench. Why he isn't starting is a mystery.

Because he's 95 years old and wouldn't last 90 minutes?

[Magic]

He'd last more than the 5 minutes he gets, moronics. Every Roma game I've watched he's changed.

[Lewis]

I remember when 'Mr. Capello' used Del Piero as an impact sub, and he seemed to be coming off the bench every week and bailing them out with free-kicks and that, normally after 'Zlatan' had spent the game wasting them. He must have only been about thirty then though, but it probably added three seasons to his dope-addled balsa legs, so well done both.

[phonics]

He'd last more than the 5 minutes he gets, moronics. Every Roma game I've watched he's changed.

It's almost like he's playing against 10 other people that have spent the last 70 minutes running around.

[Magic]

It's almost like he's playing against 10 other people that have spent the last 70 minutes running around.

It's almost like you don't understand football.

[Lewis]

Il Fitness Advantissimo, as we say down the futsal.

[phonics]

It's almost like you don't understand football.

LiquidEmptyAfricanharrierhawk

[Reg]

You haven't scored any goals in 270 minutes against them so far this season. What makes you think with a less than full strength team you can score 3 goals in 90 minutes?
We haven't got to score 3 in regular time. There's no spell against us scoring versus them; we were 15 points stronger in the league. And I doubt we'll have four going off injured on Monday.

[Magic]

Il Fitness Advantissimo, as we say down the futsal.

He's certainly not a plodder. His touch and vision are unreal compared to some of the shit in Serie A. As I said, well worth 60 minutes.

[phonics]

But he'd have 60 minutes against people at normal fitness levels rather than 30 against players below that par. Enabling his touch and vision to take him further... Fitness isn't just a physical issue.

[Magic]

But he'd have 60 minutes against people at normal fitness levels rather than 30 against players below that par. Enabling his touch and vision to take him further... Fitness isn't just a physical issue.

This isn't FM, mate.

[Lewis]

Ronaldo is on one, and he would be well within his rights to have 'Rafa' killed.

[Vim]

As long as Roma keep Totti, they won't win anything. When your best player is a forty year-old and you're relying on him to save every match off the bench, you are not going to go anywhere.

[SincereTheRebel]

It was either euro 2000 or 2004 but in one of them, totti was playing through balls from his own penatly area and gilardino was running onto them in a flash.

[Magic]

As long as Roma keep Totti, they won't win anything. When your best player is a forty year-old and you're relying on him to save every match off the bench, you are not going to go anywhere.

Well why don't they just keep him and not buy fucking cunts with mongol haircuts?

[Magic]

Also lol @ Derby.

[Reg]

He's not their best player, though, is he? And it's only the last few games where he's been making/scoring goals.

[Shindig]

He's been curtailed a little by injury this year. Also, the youth in Italy is no longer there.

[Vim]

Because they're not run well, and if they get a proper striker working Totti will start moaning that he isn't playing enough anyway.

[Vim]

He's not their best player, though, is he? And it's only the last few games where he's been making/scoring goals.

He's come on and scored and assisted quite a few times in the last weeks, I'd say that he's their most influential player in that sense. He completely changed the games when he came on. The thing is he's bigger than the club to the fans and also to himself. Try tell the fans why their favourite player, who is also their most influential when he plays, is on the bench. I'm glad Del Piero left when he did, it's always awkward having a legend on the bench. Totti's nowhere near mature enough to understand that though, so he's just going to stay there and complain if they don't play him.

[Reg]

He's had a good run but last season, for instance, when he played many more games, he was good but he wasn't scoring or making the most goals. I just thought it was an odd criticism of Roma to make out they haven't got a team without him.

[Lewis]

Speaking Roma, is Kevin Strootman a complete write-off?

[Reg]

He's back playing.

[niko_cee]

Suarez.

:cool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

19th placed Stade Reims are tearing the shit out of 2nd placed Lyon right now.

3-0 after 55 minutes.

They've lost 9 of their last 12 compared to Lyon winning 9 of their last 12.

The two teams above them are losing too so they look like they could be safe.

Make that 4-0 now.

I bet on Lyon so this is clearly my fault.

[Magic]

Totti about to turn Roma's win in to a humiliation for Milan. :drool:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

And they still got relegated as Toulouse managed to win 3-2.

[Lewis]

He's back playing.

What I mean, mate, is is he a useless wreck now?

[Reg]

I'm not sure, I haven't seen any of their last few. Spalletti was praising him a lot and said he played great when he started.

[Gray Fox]

I've just seen that Stuttgart got relegated today. I've always thought of them of being a top half German team so that's come as a little bit of a shock. Still that's an FM17 save for some folks.

[Lewis]

How has Gonzalo Higuain gone about scoring thirty-six league goals for Napoli? I'm always happy to point out how crap Serie A is, but that makes it sound like the Dutch league.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've just seen that Stuttgart got relegated today. I've always thought of them of being a top half German team so that's come as a little bit of a shock. Still that's an FM17 save for some folks.

Werder Bremen stayed up courtesy of a last gasp winner from... Papy Djilobodji. Yeah.

[niko_cee]

A group of Sunderland fans have paid for a banner reading "Auf Wiedersehen Prem" to be flown over St James' Park during Newcastle's game against Tottenham on Sunday.

:D

[Shindig]

If we did that every time the mackems went down, we'd be skint.

[Giggles]

If we did that every time the mackems went down, we'd be skint.

Still though, this year they haven't went down.

[niko_cee]

I've just clocked that the points gap between 1st and 2nd in Ligue Un was larger than that between 2nd and 19th. What a farce.

[ScousePig]

:D

It's from the other board I frequent, as was the last one. What some mags don't seem to realise is that the initial one was a response to their failed attempt of doing the same to us. That's how it all came about. I think it's a bit shit, and opinion of non-Ready To Go members seems to favour that view, but they love it on there. It costs something like £750 and any excess goes to charity. We're over the £1000 mark at the moment.

Anyway, Newcastle have set up some kind of anti-plane fund themselves with all money going to charity, trying to top what Sunderland make. Like last time it's made the Evening Chronicle, who are supposedly very Newcastle biased (I'm sure Shinners or someone will confirm).

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/banner-sunderland-fans-flown-above-11333211#rlabs=1%20rt$category%20p$1

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/sunderland-fans-hire-plane-fly-11332836#rlabs=1%20rt$category%20p$2

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/we-dont-need-banner-dont-11334052

Last time it made the Chronicle and they quoted some of my posts from RTG, but used the wrong username.

Again, the irony doesn't seem to have registered with the Newcastle fans who have started the second fundraise.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Anti-plane fund? Are they going to try and shoot it down? That has unfortunate connotations for them.

[Mellberg]

Anti-plane fund :D

They should just fly one over Sunderland's game calling Johnson a paedo.

[ScousePig]

:D They wouldn't be allowed to as it's offensive.

[Trancemeister]

Parts of Old Trafford being evacuated.

[Giggles]

Parts of Old Trafford being evacuated.

Muzzies or just some health/safety stuff?

[Gray Fox]

You'd assume that's a bomb scare but odd that it's only 2 stands evacuated.

[Dark Soldier]

They saw the line up.

[Lee]

Doubt it's a bomb scare if it hasn't all been evacuated. Some twat has probably burnt the pies.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

There was a tannoy announcements saying operation code red was in effect, then another saying people should stay in their seats and stay calm.

Operation red :drool:

[Giggles]

According to Newstalk's Twitter, armed cops are searching the stands.

[Lee]

Yeah it's a 'suspect package'.

[Gray Fox]

I doubt they'll get the game going at all if that's the case.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Match abandoned, pissing hell.

[Lewis]

This is a fitting end to the season.

[Boydy]

When will they play it then?

[Giggles]

You'd presume if it was a package then it was the northys rather than middle easterns.

[Lee]

Euro 2016 is probably going to take about three months.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Spurs managing to finish below Arsenal would be peak Spurs.

[Giggles]

Spurs managing to finish below Arsenal would be peak Spurs.

They should really just chain up the gates after this one.

[Samadini]

They're playing as if there's an international tournament around the corner, so I think we'll actually win this.

[Giggles]

Didn't you actually think Spurs or Arsenal was going to win the league? Do you even football?

I thought Arsenal would. If you had be down as tipping Spurs then you really need to pay more attention.

So, how much did you make seeing as you knew who would actually win it?

[Manc]

Rafa. :cool:

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

Fucking hell.

[Gray Fox]

Bomb squad now at Old Trafford.

[Byron]

Please never change Tottenham.

Spurs to football is what South Africa is to cricket.

[Giggles]

731852330434461697

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fernando :harold:

Lol at Quinn though who couldn't tell which of the Fernand brothers it was.

[Magic]

They announced a code red at Elland Rd the other week by mistake. :face:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ed Chamberlin is loving this.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fucking hell, it's all going down there at Old Trafford.

[Magic]

What are they going to do with the result for the Scummers? 7th at the moment. :harold:

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What are they going to do with the result for the Scummers? 7th at the moment. :harold:

Play it sometime after the Cup final one would imagine.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They'll have to play it tomorrow, or it'll never be played.

[Giggles]

Fucking hell, it's all going down there at Old Trafford.

What's happening now?

[niko_cee]

They'll have to play it tomorrow, or it'll never be played.

Don't the police usually have some ridiculous rule where a fixture needs to have 2 weeks prior notification before it can go ahead?

[Dark Soldier]

Rumours it'll be tomorrow but behind closed doors.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Don't the police usually have some ridiculous rule where a fixture needs to have 2 weeks prior notification before it can go ahead?

If so they'll have to either play it without the internationals, or come back in August and play it then.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

What's happening now?

Chopper and the bomb squad have piled in.

I was at two different bomb scares (both at the Modlin part of Warsaw airport years ago) because both times some dickheads decided to just leave their bag of sandwiches lying around having been told they can't take them through security. They sent in about 5 dogs and I think the A-Team turned up at one point.

[Gray Fox]

Controlled explosion at Old Trafford to be carried out now.

[niko_cee]

It'll turn out to be Van Gaal in a holdall.

[Gray Fox]

Rumour going around says it was a mobile phone attached to a pipe in the toilets with wires around it.

[Lee]

Whether thos turns out to be real or not I've long been surprised that somebody hasn't either blown or shot up a major football stadium before now. You don't get checked (there were checks for a bit after Paris but they've become less frequent over time) going in and you have thousands of people with limited ability to get the fuck out if need be. Same with a big shopping centre on a Saturday afternoon too.

[Browning]

First threat of an attack at Old Trafford all season.

[Browning]

Fuck sake Newcastle. They're going to throw this away.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

First threat of an attack at Old Trafford all season.

:rosebud:

[Danny]

Get that from Jeets twitter?

[elth]

First threat of an attack at Old Trafford all season.

That's completely out of order mate, disgraceful.

First threat of a *first half* attack at Old Trafford all season.

[Alan Shearer The 2nd]

I never understand why a supposed professional would tackle someone like that, let alone in the middle of the pitch.

[Samadini]

http://i.imgur.com/vIf0lAD.gif

[Magic]

The Yids. Bet Dav is cumming in his weathered Ys.

[Spoonsky]

I'm curious to see how well Leicester will be able to hold their team together. Might be the last time we've seen Mahrez in a Leicester shirt.

Blimey what a goal.

[Gray Fox]

Controlled explosion now carried out.

It was apparently a bomb attached to a gas pipe with a phone connected to it by wires.

[Samadini]

:lol:

[Browning]

Fuck sake Newcastle. They're going to throw this away.

I stand corrected, fucking hell.

[Byron]

God bless Tottenham.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

:harold:

What a shambles they are.

[Ian]

This might be the most Tottenham thing ever.

[Magic]

:harold:

[Dark Soldier]

Fucking Tottenham, forever bottlers

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/ffya.gif

[Jimmy Floyd]

Controlled explosion now carried out.

It was apparently a bomb attached to a gas pipe with a phone connected to it by wires.

That sounds a bit Islamist to me.

[Waffdon]

Some season from West Ham finishing seventh.

[Gray Fox]

If Liverpool score late there'll be a play off game against West Ham.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We need to win by 13, right?

Might as well just declare the game a 0-0 draw and be done with it.

[Gray Fox]

We need to win by 13, right?

Might as well just declare the game a 0-0 draw and be done with it.

19-0 will do it.

[Giggles]

We need to win by 13, right?

Might as well just declare the game a 0-0 draw and be done with it.

You'd think all parties would be agreeable to that.

Well, except Southampton.

[Browning]

We need to win by 13, right?

Might as well just declare the game a 0-0 draw and be done with it.

18 to draw level on GD, but not sure about the Goals Scored. It's probably 19.

Yea, no point playing it.

[Danny]

There would?

Wouldn't West Ham been ahead on goals scored?

edit: @ Fox

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Oh shit, I was looking at Southampton's GD, yeah we need 19.

Completely doable.

[Magic]

22 points in FF. :|

[Jimmy Floyd]

West Ham cleverly dodging the Europa League there. Southampton walking straight into their trap.

[Gray Fox]

There would?

Wouldn't West Ham been ahead on goals scored?

edit: @ Fox

We would have been level on points, goal difference and goals scored. It's moot now but it would have needed a play-off game playing.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

We would have been level on points, goal difference and goals scored. It's moot now but it would have needed a play-off game playing.

Had Liverpool scored they'd have been on 64 scored with West Ham on 65, no?

[Danny]

Not according to this live table:

http://live.premierleague.com/#/league-table/

You would have needed two to level the goals scored but that would have had you above them on GD.

Not that it matters like you said

[Manc]

What an absolute lad Mitrovic is.

[Jimmy Floyd]

For someone born and bred in Shropshire and who has never lived or worked outside the north west, Joe Hart tries extremely hard to talk like a London black man.

[Jimmy Floyd]

City's hardest possible qualifying opponent is, by my reckoning, Roma. After that you're looking at Gladbach, Monaco or Anderlecht. They won't be fucking that up.

[Gray Fox]

I'd read the table wrong. Still it's probably a good thing. Losing the midweek game gives us a season of not worrying about playing every Thursday.

[Lewis]

So Tottenham, the best team playing the best football under the best manager, end up with seventy points. That is actually pretty shit (and yet another reason to listen to me (http://www.thethirdhalf.co.uk/showthread.php?729-Louis-Van-Gaal-Sacked&p=68095&viewfull=1#post68095) when you all can't wait to get carried away with something).

[Lewis]

Joe Royle managing Everton today is quality as well.

[Gray Fox]

That table Danny posted has shown up a thing I didn't know.

If United avoid conceding against Bournemouth(whenever that may end up being played), they'll have the best defence in the league.

[Lewis]

You're milking it, John. Vidic never cried.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This JT sermon is a bit odd. Says he wants to stay and Abramovich clutching his sides in the aisles.

[Lewis]

'Carra' accusing Chelsea of lacking class as well. What a day.

[Kikó]

Tottingham :D

Anyway, it's great that we lose out on Europe due to our inability to attack.

Benfica 1-0 up now, Sporting also 1-0 up and Braga down to ten. Nervy.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Second time Souness has declared that he believes we have the best security services in the world. What a patriot. What a man. He doesn't look as ill today either.

[Kikó]

3-0. Vitoria has done it. Jesus couldn't get one over his old club.

[Shindig]

At least bottling against Villa meant we didn't go down on goal difference instead. I really, really hope Mike keeps Rafa on by any means necessary.

[The Merse]

731874344167714816

Podolski :cool:

[Boydy]

Can we not just relegate Sunderland as well?

[Luke Emia]

Fucking hell Spurs. That must be the shittest title charge ever. Have they even won since that Stoke game?

[Danny]

Nice work sky

https://vine.co/v/i07xvUOqw7b

[Lee]

Cracking final day at the bottom of Serie A. Carpi are two up at Udinese, who are down to ten men. Whilst already relegated Verona have just equalised at Palermo (both sides down to ten men) which means, as it stands, that Carpi are staying up at Palermo's expense.

EDIT: Now Palermo have just scored and they'll stay up as it stands.

[phonics]

3-0. Vitoria has done it. Jesus couldn't get one over his old club.

There was a crowd of about 500 people in the center of town singing 'Campiones' and letting off flares. I've just figured it out.

[Giggles]

Who are Jesus and Vitoria and what club? I presume it's something Portugese.

[phonics]

Benfica won the league. There are a billion Portuguese here.

[Lee]

Manchester Evening News claiming that today's bomb scare was the result of an "elaborate hoax". That's a proper cunt's trick.

[Max Power]

Won the league by ten points lol. Just send us to the Super League with Barca, Real, Bayern, Juve and PSG.

[Spoonsky]

Gilardino just scored for Palermo. Italian strikers never die, do they? It wouldn't surprise me to see Paolo Rossi turn up with a hattrick.

[Lee]

Wanted Carpi to stay up, for fuck's sake.

[phonics]

Wanted Carpi to stay up, for fuck's sake.

Think you've had your fun for the season mate.

[Lee]

Think you've had your fun for the season mate.

That is a very fair point.

[Kikó]

Benfica won the league. There are a billion Portuguese here.

Same in Vauxhall. Loads of them up and down south Lambeth road. Great league win considering they were eight points adrift not long ago and Vitoria looked like he was going to do a Moyes.

[Magic]

Gilardino just scored for Palermo. Italian strikers never die, do they? It wouldn't surprise me to see Paolo Rossi turn up with a hattrick.

Palermo is where Italian strikers go to die.

[niko_cee]

And Northern Irish Lotharios go shagging.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We're all getting behind Crotone next season anyway.

http://www.crotone24news.it/images/2015/crotone/panoramica-porto-crotone.jpg

[Browning]

Supposedly the "bomb" was a prop from a training exercise that was accidentally left behind. Fucking hell.

[Kikó]

Sack the board.

[Boydy]

Supposedly the "bomb" was a prop from a training exercise that was accidentally left behind. Fucking hell.

:D

Fuck's sake.

[Giggles]

If that's true then that's fucking brilliant. I'd imagine it isn't though.

[CJay]

:lol:

Is there video footage of the controlled explosion? :D

[ScousePig]

Can we not just relegate Sunderland as well?

Fuck off, we're awesome now.

[Gray Fox]

If that's true then that's fucking brilliant. I'd imagine it isn't though.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/36297390

It's true. For fucks sake...

[Giggles]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/36297390

It's true. For fucks sake...

Yeah just spotted that. Fucking imbeciles.

I see there's been a Ryanair flight to Manchester from Norway grounded now because two people were overheard arguing about a 'bomb'. I really hope they're the ones that forgot this one and they've been away on another job, but that would be too good.

[GS]

Fucking hell. You couldn't make that up.

[Lewis]

Somewhere on Twitter somebody is blaming Ed Woodward for that.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fucking hell :D

[Kikó]

It's all so we are live for our American audiences. Top marketing.

[Giggles]

Game to be played Tuesday at 8pm.

[Magic]

Game to be played Tuesday at 8pm LIVE ON SKY.

Fixed.

[Magic]

Hopefully there's a real bomb this time.

[Giggles]

Hopefully there's a real bomb this time.

They're all needed at the Europa final.

[Magic]

They're all needed at the Europa final.

Won't be needed.

#murderers

[phonics]

Once again proving that we're more likely to suffer from absolute incompetence than terrorist masterminds.

P.S.

FUCKING LOL SPURS

[Giggles]

Where's Dav anyway? His rumble must be lasting longer than expected.

[phonics]

http://i.imgur.com/kOeJl7T.png

:D

[Giggles]

MotD not on til half eleven because of motorbikes. Fuck you Northern Ireland.

[Boydy]

Watch the English BBC.

[Giggles]

Watch the English BBC.

Can't. Only BBC Ulster available on Virgin.

[Jimmy Floyd]

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/may/15/premier-league-2015-16-review-our-writers-best-and-worst?CMP=share_btn_tw

Quite enjoyable read, if mainly for Scott Murray's absolutely terrible answers.

[Raoul Duke]

Puncheon is such a beast. One of my favourite underrated players.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/may/15/premier-league-2015-16-review-our-writers-best-and-worst?CMP=share_btn_tw

Quite enjoyable read, if mainly for Scott Murray's absolutely terrible answers.
I thought him going with Van Dijk as best player or Allardyce as best manager was mental but then I saw him say that Michael Owen (or Sutton) was the best pundit. The guy needs to be put in a fucking loony bin.

[Boydy]

Can't. Only BBC Ulster available on Virgin.
On the internet.

[Giggles]

On the internet.

Not allowed view iplayer. Ah I'll record it now anyway.

[Raoul Duke]

TVCatchup

[Giggles]

TVCatchup

Nor that :D

I thing TV catch-up just links to each channels own players these days anyway. I used to use it when I lived in the UK and it was great when it was standalone.

I'll stick the recording on the tablet and watch it on the road tomorrow.

[Boydy]

Watch it on the road? That doesn't sound safe.

[Giggles]

Watch it on the road? That doesn't sound safe.

When I stop at a petrol station to eat.

[niko_cee]

I know it's fun to laugh at Spurs and all but all the shit that streams out of the marble halls (particularly from feckless former, and current, players) about "St Totteringham's Day" really is ridiculously small time. Even Wenger was at it a bit yesterday. I suppose the silver lining is that with Giroud back in form and their best league finish for 10 years there's no real need to change anything.

[Davgooner]

:drink:

[Magic]

:drool:

[Magic]

Still protesting, mate? That second place must be really hard to swallow...

:harold:

[Davgooner]

Fucking blinding day in every respect.

[The Merse]

niko_cee there's a time for reflecting on what celebrating the failures of your rivals, bur not yesterday. Not today. Not this week.

That Shez is a total goon who nobody wants back between the sticks doesn't diminish the brilliance of his 'it's happened again' post, nor does Podolski having been a bit shit. I think I'd even have approved of RvP getting involved. Byegones.

[The Merse]

Still protesting, mate? That second place must be really hard to swallow...

:harold:

Yeah. Cos that's all it's about.

[Davgooner]

No pork pies or saveloys.

[Giggles]

It's Danny Dyer :D

St. Totteringhams Day is an institution though. I think I can only remember two where it didn't occur.

[niko_cee]

I see Garth has gone with Coutinho over Alli in his team of the season.

:cab:

[Giggles]

Both are highlight reel type of players who don't do a massive amount outside the moments of brilliance yet. Toss up really.

[Ian]

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/may/15/premier-league-2015-16-review-our-writers-best-and-worst?CMP=share_btn_tw

Quite enjoyable read, if mainly for Scott Murray's absolutely terrible answers.

Until he started praising Martial and Benteke I was fairly convinced that Magic had been hiding a journalistic career from us.

[Smiffy]

.....

[phonics]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CikvEi6W0AEoBU8.jpg

:D

[Disco]

Arsenal will be fine, some astute summer business (a lightweight midfielder or two and a shit centre half that you never hear from again) and they'll be ready to challenge again next year.

[phonics]

Spurs mounted a better title challenge despite never being in first place, never being closer than 5 points to Lecieseter or managing to ya know, beat them.

[Lewis]

Yeah, Arsenal BOTTLED IT much more.

[Disco]

Yeah, much better to be out of the race earlier and only overtake them when it didn't matter anymore.

[Giggles]

In a year where Leicester won the league Arsenal are a team that should have won it, Spurs aren't. Still though, that finish from Spurs was a complete shambles and they were never in any title race.

[Disco]

Well if they weren't then nobody was.

[Giggles]

Well if they weren't then nobody was.

Leicester were.

[phonics]

There was no title race. Everyone fucked it. They won it with two games to go, ten points clear ffs.

[Disco]

Leicester were.

Well done dickhead, you can't really have a race with only one team can you.

[Giggles]

Well done dickhead, you can't really have a race with only one team can you.

Then there wasn't one.

[Davgooner]

I'd rather of had Spurs season compared to Arsenals, even though Arsenal ultimately finished 2nd. Spurs at least mounted some type of title challenge, Arsenal looked shit all year.

All about grinding out results when you're not playing well mate.

[Davgooner]

I think I'm still pissed.

[ItalAussie]

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/may/15/premier-league-2015-16-review-our-writers-best-and-worst?CMP=share_btn_tw

Quite enjoyable read, if mainly for Scott Murray's absolutely terrible answers.

I saw that when I was reading the article before, and wondered who he even was. It doesn't help that his first two answers are just so obviously terrible.

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's probably Scottish correspondent or something based on the classic 'somehow about Scotland' answer to player of the year.

[John]

The Wes Morgan answer made me lol too. 'Career journeyman' who was at Nottingham Forest for ten years. Jamie Jackson writes most of the facile toss The Metro puts out I'm sure.

[Jeet]

LLoris positioning for the 5th goal really is awful. Worst I have ever seen.

[The Merse]

He's probably Scottish correspondent or something based on the classic 'somehow about Scotland' answer to player of the year.

That he is. A very positive one too. Deluded I'd say.

[The Merse]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CikvEi6W0AEoBU8.jpg

:D

Not that I'm particularly enamoured with our efforts this year, but luck?

Tottenham had pretty much a full squad all year. We lost the likes of Sanchez, Cazorla and the Coq for huge periods along with Welbeck and Wilshere being lame for almost the full season.

Wonder how Tottenham would have gotten on with Eriksen, Dier and Lamela all out for long periods?

Fucking amazing we got top 4 really with Gabriel featuring in double digits. Absolute charlatan of a footballer.

[Smiffy]

.....

[Giggles]

Talking about Liverpool in the same bracket :D

And Skrtel too. Him missing is like having two extra players.

[Lewis]

United would have won the league without injuries. :(

[Mazuuurk]

Specially without the massive one made to LvGs brain.

[Lewis]

They all count. Moral Champions.

[niko_cee]

'mon the early penalty red card combo . . .

Dunk to score at least 1.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Brighton are comfortably the better of these sides, which will make their 100% certain defeat even harder to take.

[CJay]

This is reminiscent of that Barcelona - Arsenal match a few years back where it was all Barca for the first 20 minutes. What a start.

[Davgooner]

They should have turned this tie around already. Interesting that two players stretchered off three days ago have started: what a pair of tarts.