Count it again, Hastings.
Theresa May's Conservatives
Jeremy Corbyn's Labour
Tim Farron's Liberal Democrats
Paul Nuttall's UKIP
2 people's Greens
Nicholas Durgeon's Scottish Nationalists
Satan's Sinn Fein
Dr Ian Paisley's DUP
Some other bunch of nonces
I'm foreign, but I wish I were an Englishman
Count it again, Hastings.
Holy shit, that is far too close for comfort for an MP that is basically number 2 in government. What a fuck up this is.
Him and his sort should wind it in.Originally Posted by Lewis
What has happened in NI anyway, have the SDLP gone for a burton?
After 2 recounts, North East Fife has 1 vote in it.
We're coming back in October for another one of these.
Fuck off Woodcock, you cunt.
I'm off to bed. Shite, but lol at Scotland.
Which is ridiculous frankly.
Incorrect.
Buckethead and Elmo in Maidenhead and Fish Finger man in Cumbria ensure that a second election is very much what the country needs.
Right lads, I've now caught up.
First thing's first, I was wrong on Corbyn. I still think he's mental, obviously, but if people buy what he's selling then fair play - they clearly had a strategy, knew what they wanted to, and executed it. That said, I think much of the Tory failure here is attributable to an absolute fuck-up in the Tory campaign. The Tories still got 43% of the vote, but there's no way they should have pushed over 40% (forty percent, for fuck sake) into the Labour column. May has been fucking dreadful, and she needs to resign. Ideally before lunch, but I'd take by the end of tomorrow.
The one real positive from this is that it's a MEGA night for the Union. The SNP getting hammered, and Robertson and Salmond losing their seats to the Tories, is massive. The DUP have also taken about 40% of the vote in NI.
We'll be back for another election by the end of the year. There's no way the DUP are successfully propping up a fractured Tory party for any length of time. It's some effort from Team May, this. It really is.
Highlights:
- Alex Salmond and Angus Robertson are gone.
- Nick Clegg gone.
- Anna Soubry meltdown interview on the BBC.
- Jacob Rees-Mogg knifed George Osbourne.
- Lord Buckethead.
- Chuka Umunna slobbering all over Corbyn.
- Fish Finger man.
That map of Scotland is amazing, the SNP pushed out to the rural areas by the looks of it.
Lib Dems have swung the vote by nearly 10,000 votes to take Oxford West and Abingdon.
BBC forecasting 319 seats for the Tories. With Sinn Fein not taking their expected 7 seats it means the STRONG AND STABLE May will be 3 seats short of an effective majority and therefore cannot LEAD IN THE NATIONAL INTEREST.
You have to exclude the speaker and deputies, who don't vote. It's basically 650, less seven for the Shinners, and another four for the speakers - so 639. Working majority would be 320. Not that one matters either way here or there - they need the DUP.
They'll never sign up to a formal coalition deal, because they'll want to leverage as much bollocks out of them as possible, so it'll be confidence and supply until they're forced to call another election by the end of the year.
May won't be in charge, though. She's fucking useless. There's no point mucking about here - Gove or Fallon, who can at least argue a point well. But it needs to be all hands on deck.
A national government probably wouldn't be the worst idea in the world, but lol at the BETRAYAL shouts that would go up.
Okay, I'm up.
Campaigns don't matter, I thought. LOL.
I'm hearing that May might resign imminently. Still probably a shaky Tory minority government /coalition at the end of it all.
They'll be looking to the DUP, given that the Lib Dems don't want that bullet a second time. May's done. Gove more likely to step up given he campaigned for Leave. I wonder what support he has in his own party, though. That's the thing about the impending leadership contest. They all threw their hat in last time and got chewed out. Boris campaigned for Leave but never looked like a believer.
If it's Gove then surely Boris is shitting himself...
well done Terry May.
Pervert.
Zac winning Richmond Park back is a bit of a glitch. Ponce central there.
Ideal for Corbyn really, he gets adulation but still doesn't have to govern or really even offer any sort of effective opposition.
Corbyn mania. 100 SEAT majority. Mandate.
The brexit negotiations can now continue.
This really is the new football to all of you isn't it?
I've no idea what's going on, but does anything ever really change no matter who wins?
How the fuck did Amber Rudd end up winning?
Not really.
Checking our results to see how the Young People's Party did. John 'not a paedophile' Cummings's landed 45 votes. 250 less than a postman who also fancied a go. The North-East votes no other way than Labour. I mean, aside from the time Newcastle had a Lib Dem council.
May is having a laugh trying to stay on.
It's probably the moment for Boris.
Europe lording it up over the election result on radio 4. Strong and stable.
So, trying to understand this Election a bit. Am I getting this right in that Tories are just short of majority in parliament meaning they need these DUP (I assume the Lib Dems and SNP are not working with Tories then on anything?) to get any votes through?
Meaning they will end up having a lot more influence than their 1.5% suggests (why do you even allow such small parties in Parliament!?).
When you're all saying there will be a new Election later this year, I assume that will be called by the Tories (again) then to try to get Majority, yeah?
Which begs the question: what is the actual cost of having an election? It must be absolutely immense, specially with recent terror threats added into the mix (dunno if that changes anything but it might). I mean, when would the costs of having multiple Elections in a year actually start making a real dent in the Budget?
BOTTLED IT you cunt.
Jesus, so many pages. Has Big Ruth won a seat? Can she be the next PM?
This is the news I was hoping to hear.
We have first past the post, either you win your seat or you don't, so anyone can get in. None of that coffee-drinking European PR nonsense.
Slightly lolling at the twitter glee claiming Corbyn has defied predictions of being unelectable by, er, not being elected.
Is Middlesbrough technically the north east?
I said a few weeks ago Ruth Davidson should be Tory leader. She's a God.
Whichever way you cut it, it's a phyrric victory for May.
Lord Buckethead's manifesto is every bit as good as his outfit, by the way.
It's all stuff like nationalising Adele and bringing back Ceefax, then suddenly point fourteen is a genuine and sensible piece of policy.
14. Prospective MPs to live in the seat they wish to represent for at least five years before election, to improve local representation in Parliament.
Is it the same Lord Buckethead who ran against Thatcher in 1987?
Of course anyone should be able to get in. But what we do is require your party to have at least 4% of Votes to be eligible to hold a seat in parliament, thus minimizing one-policy (or non-policy) parties that only really ends up holding a bit of a void seat in Parliament anyway.
I suppose it's not quite as Greek.
That's probably the most Swedish thing I've ever heard.
We don't have any list seats (at all) so it's literally just 650 people representing 650 local areas, organised into parties as and how they see fit. If Lord Buckethead won his seat then Lord Buckethead is in.
Major, too. When asked the question, he replied "It's complicated"
Statement from May at 10am.
Resigning with BoJo as PM?
72% turnout among the 18-25s.
My Facebook is full of SCOTLAND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE and THE CUTS SHOULD ONLY AFFECT THOSE WHO VOTED TORY lollolololpl
It's not that simple. He'd have to win a leadership election which would take however long.
The Coalition of Chaos isn't going to have the numbers, or particularly close to it, so it looks like we're all back next month.
That's doing the rounds but there's no actual source for it. Can see it being true though as the Tory numbers I had beforehand have pretty much been bang on, it's a 10pt Labour surge out of nowhere which basically means them lot.
Oh and while I'm here:
What would be the point in another GE? Exactly the same result wouldn't it?
If the Tories got a new leader for an October GE they'd probably win a majority.
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