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Thread: The Pet Thread

  1. #251
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    My ting has really planted and nurtured the seed of getting a cat for my flat. Only real drawbacks I can think of is the mad hair everywhere and disastrous hit to my OCD hygiene standards so I'm struggling to weed it out.

    I note a lot of people have these cats they don't let outside. That would solve the latter problem a fair bit but gives rise to serious moral questions I need to do research on.

  2. #252
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Mine was meant to be a house cat and the shelter I got him from told me he was but he seemed very keen on going outside so I just started to let him. Got him a little reflective collar for if he goes out at dark but I think he mostly just goes into other people's gardens anyway.

    He did bring a pigeon back one day though. Thankfully it was still alive and flew straight back out the window when I made him drop it.

  3. #253
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    My ting has really planted and nurtured the seed of getting a cat for my flat. Only real drawbacks I can think of is the mad hair everywhere and disastrous hit to my OCD hygiene standards so I'm struggling to weed it out.

    I note a lot of people have these cats they don't let outside. That would solve the latter problem a fair bit but gives rise to serious moral questions I need to do research on.
    I wouldn't dream of letting mine outside to roam freely but I do have a little 'run' that I built in the back garden for summer months. I've read far too many stories over the years of nasty fuckers doing nasty deeds. It's just important to keep them engaged and curious, I reckon.

  4. #254
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Got him a little reflective collar for if he goes out at dark but I think he mostly just goes into other people's gardens anyway.
    May I take this opportunity to say "KEEP YOUR FUCKING CAT OUT OF MY FUCKING GARDEN HE'S SHAT ALL OVER THE PLACE AND DUG UP THE HYDRANGEAS MY NAN PLANTED YOU FUCKING CUNT" on behalf of your neighbours?

  5. #255
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Can't you just lie about the kids to get a rescue animal? I mean, probably don't take them along to pick it in those circumstances, or do they have some clipboard who comes to inspect your house (I can't imagine)?

  6. #256
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Can't you just lie about the kids to get a rescue animal? I mean, probably don't take them along to pick it in those circumstances, or do they have some clipboard who comes to inspect your house (I can't imagine)?
    They carry out inspections, so aside from emptying the kids rooms or bricking their doorways closed for the day we'd be rumbled.

  7. #257
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    How well funded are these fuckers? Could they not just divert the funds they commit to carrying out inspections (and tv advertising) to looking after the dogs without the need to bother the rest of society?

  8. #258
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I sort of get it as they don't want people rehoming Great Danes to their 12th floor shoebox with no garden and the closest park 22 miles away, but they definitely go overboard on it all and they are the architects of their own downfall as a result. There's only a market for breeders (on this scale) because they make adoption such hard work.

  9. #259
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I would think it's more about being liable when some mutt eats a toddlers face, so rather than going to the trouble of working out which ones would/wouldn't do that (not exactly a simple or reliable process) they choose not to expose themselves to that sort of risk.

  10. #260
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We covered that in yesterday's class Mr Disco, this is why attendance is important. Disappointing.

  11. #261
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    For some reason, it turned my photos sideways and wouldn't let me correct them.
    Imgur, but you have to force it to let to use the desktop site.

  12. #262
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    We covered that in yesterday's class Mr Disco, this is why attendance is important. Disappointing.
    Why are you asking the same question again then dickhead.

  13. #263
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    Why are you asking the same question again then dickhead.
    I didn't ask a question.

  14. #264
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I didn't ask a question.
    No but you're still bitching about it I see. And no, I did not read an entire page about how much people pay for their wanker dogs.

    My advice would be to dig a random hole in your garden, piss in a cupboard of your choice and ruin a shoe or three. That will give you 90% of the dog owning experience and you can plough the savings back into some more cancelled holidays.

  15. #265
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We are a grumpy pants today aren't we?

  16. #266
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Disco hates dogs?

  17. #267
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Open the clubs.

  18. #268
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Disco paints miniature goblins in his spare time. Of course he can't handle affection.

  19. #269
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Imgur, but you have to force it to let to use the desktop site.
    Use the app.
    I'm a twit

  20. #270
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Dogs are fine, but they're outdoor animals, I wouldn't have one living in the house.

  21. #271
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    Disco paints miniature goblins in his spare time. Of course he can't handle affection.
    I was going to argue with this but that was literally the last thing I painted for someone.

  22. #272
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    The Greyhound mob down here cant rehome enough of them as we all turn a blind eye to the horrow show that is dish licker racing.

  23. #273
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    No but you're still bitching about it I see. And no, I did not read an entire page about how much people pay for their wanker dogs.

    My advice would be to dig a random hole in your garden, piss in a cupboard of your choice and ruin a shoe or three. That will give you 90% of the dog owning experience and you can plough the savings back into some more cancelled holidays.
    What a post.

  24. #274
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Disco neglects animals. Pass it on.

  25. #275
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I've never seen a man lose so many years of accumulated respect in 1 post. Sad.

    In other news, I've fucked the surprise off, told the Mrs she can have a dog and landed the job of finding one in her lap. Now I can just strut on in with the grapefruit walk when it's all done, pay and still get all the credit.

  26. #276
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Disco neglects animals. Pass it on.
    I've always wanted to gas a badger if that helps.

  27. #277
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I've never seen a man lose so many years of accumulated respect in 1 post. Sad.

    In other news, I've fucked the surprise off, told the Mrs she can have a dog and landed the job of finding one in her lap. Now I can just strut on in with the grapefruit walk when it's all done, pay and still get all the credit.
    That's a relief as my sister can't find the details for the breeder. It's definitely a farm near Sheffield, though, so good luck.

  28. #278
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Have you ever had a dog @Disco?

  29. #279
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    That really is a cracking post there by Disco. Another whose posting quality is clearly at optimal levels as a result of his declining mental state owing to lockdown. Welcome, fine sir.

  30. #280
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Have you ever had a dog @Disco?
    Not really as a pet, I had a beagle but it was a gun dog and lived at the kennel probably about half of the time. He literally went to live on a farm when I moved into Exeter.

  31. #281
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Fortunately we can put that post down to ignorance then. Otherwise I'd have had to contact your local authorities to make them aware they had a dangerous psychopath on their hands.

  32. #282
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I was looking for a picture but it was in the days before camera phones, please accept this picture of my cat in recompense.

    Toggle Spoiler

  33. #283
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    No but you're still bitching about it I see. And no, I did not read an entire page about how much people pay for their wanker dogs.

    My advice would be to dig a random hole in your garden, piss in a cupboard of your choice and ruin a shoe or three. That will give you 90% of the dog owning experience and you can plough the savings back into some more cancelled holidays.
    You don't like dogs, eh?

  34. #284
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Team Dog seems like quite a vibrant bunch of top, top lads. Team Cat. You take Pepe out and you're left with a very sorry looking group. #TeamDog

  35. #285
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    We're gonna need lists. If they secure me, that could swing it [in some way].

  36. #286
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Team Dog seems like quite a vibrant bunch of top, top lads. Team Cat. You take Pepe out and you're left with a very sorry looking group. #TeamDog
    I play for both teams.

  37. #287
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    I play for both teams.
    Yeah, but it'll be one of those shivery little shit dogs.

    (My Mrs was banging on about Shih Tzu's earlier so that may come back to bite me on the arse).

  38. #288
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I used to have a beagle who was an absolute beast. He would come and go as he pleased. People knew him more than they knew us. Could keep up with us on the quads all the way to the top of the mountain where the hang-gliders would take off from.

    EDIT: His name was Taz, btw.

    EDIT 2: Did I mention that he had massive balls?

  39. #289
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    My wife's auntie has a Beagle-Staff cross. He's a fucking don. Whenever there's a family bbq I spend more time chilling with him / sneaking him burgers than I do with anyone else.



    Last edited by Spikey M; 30-10-2020 at 09:28 PM.

  40. #290
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Team Dog seems like quite a vibrant bunch of top, top lads. Team Cat. You take Pepe out and you're left with a very sorry looking group. #TeamDog
    Five dogs, two cats. Can I bat both sides?

  41. #291
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I’m firmly on team cat. BRB gonna order some chaos black and paint a gnome.
    I'm a twit

  42. #292
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Cats are shit. We always had dogs when I was a kid and as soon as I'm somewhere with a garden I'll be looking to get one.

  43. #293
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Cats are a mixed bag. I had 2 as a kid, one was a soppy fucker, she was great but the other fucker was only a pair of hands away from throwing acid in your cunt face. Horrible little bastard.

    Dogs are amazing though. Even the shit ones are great.

  44. #294
    I used to be funny.
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    The way they can switch in an instant is the worst. I've never had a bad cat but when they're tired of you, they let you know with violence.

  45. #295
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Labs and Bordie Collies all my life up untill my last Lab died (best bloke ive ever met) now I have a cat because it would be immoral to have one where I currently live.

  46. #296
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    We've had a mix of dogs. Couple of Boxers, Salukis when we lived in the Middle East and Border Terriers when we moved back.

    The salukis were the nicest temperamentally. Take 'em out to the desert to let them run around for a few hours to get it out of their system and job's a good'un. Well my dad did that bit, young me just thought he was letting the dogs run away and I had a meltdown about it so he went without us on future trips.

  47. #297
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I feel like we need a '"Who Do You Think You Are?" Thread, because I didn't know Disco was a Toff, living it up in his mansion, going game hunting and I didn't know Ian had lived in the fucking desert.

    Who are you people?

  48. #298
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I've definitely mentioned that before but it's not that interesting a story anyway. My dad's an engineer, got a job in Qatar so we moved out and then after four or five years we moved back.

    Although the royal family sent their kids to the British school and my sister was in the same class as the current Emir. That's as interesting as it got.

  49. #299
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Birds are the best pet

  50. #300
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Not even people with birds believe that in my experience.

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