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Thread: Coronavirus Death Thread

  1. #14151
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Crushing defeat for Team Panic there.

  2. #14152
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'm not sure there's any winners there.

    Although "I'M VULNERABLE SO I'M GOING TO SPEND AN UNNECESSARY AMOUNT OF TIME AROUND PEOPLE REFUSING TO WEAR MASKS!" is obviously running away with it.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 26-10-2020 at 04:31 PM.

  3. #14153
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Society will never recover from the rift.

  4. #14154
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Jesus, the context of it is set out in the comments which has me binning my partially filled BNP application form but what a mess all-round.

  5. #14155
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Big Nose Party pmsl.

  6. #14156
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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  7. #14157
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yeah she better leave.

  8. #14158
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Tier 3 for you hun @Magic x

  9. #14159
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    BBC headline suggests I might be in nearly full lockdown again.

    Great.

  10. #14160
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Yeah, tier four by sounds of things. No surprises, Lanarkshire is grim. Dirty bastards.

  11. #14161
    I used to be funny.
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    Once again the North East is kinda saved by the student boom dying down.

  12. #14162
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I'm not sure there's any winners there.

    Although "I'M VULNERABLE SO I'M GOING TO SPEND AN UNNECESSARY AMOUNT OF TIME AROUND PEOPLE REFUSING TO WEAR MASKS!" is obviously running away with it.
    I liked the vulnerable woman picking up her phone to video the argument whilst screaming "SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE, GET THE POLICE HERE NOW".

  13. #14163
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Tier 3 for you hun @Magic x
    She's a cunt.

  14. #14164
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    My house house is tier 2 as is my missus’. Things you love to see.

  15. #14165
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  16. #14166
    I used to be funny.
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    The state of that tweet. You can't use an emoji as punctuation.

  17. #14167
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Mark is a true genius.

  18. #14168
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    People could write essays on that tweet. It might actually be art.

  19. #14169
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    That 'Hmm' is proper passive-aggressive soppy woman speak. CONFIRMED.

  20. #14170
    I used to be funny.
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    I tried reading it again and it has the most fascinating effect of derailing sooner than you think.

  21. #14171
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I really worry about the future and it's not because of Covid.

    It's as though the entire world is falling apart.

  22. #14172
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Also, the iron law of Twitter credentialism could easily sweep that MBE up with the Dr/QC whoppers. Get out now son. Half of kids are meant to be overweight anyway.

  23. #14173
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Don't get me started on 'Prof Alice Roberts'.

  24. #14174
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Alice Roberts

  25. #14175
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I'm not sure whether I came up with it (Betts' Law), or you would just have to name it after one of the worst offenders (Rutherford's Law/Cassidy's Law/Simor's Law), but it would be formalised as there being a constant ninety per cent chance (at least) that anyone with their academic/professional credentials in their social media handle is a solid gold nonce.

  26. #14176
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Surely Jolyon's Law.

  27. #14177
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Maugham's Law could work. Sarah 'Dr Sarah Wollaston' Wollaston not doing it appears to be the exception that proves the rule.

  28. #14178
    I used to be funny.
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    I'm putting this one forward: Randrew's Law. Assuming we can apply it to transfer rumours.

    EDIT: Gillian McKeith. A 'doctor' who literally came to prominence complaining about shit.

  29. #14179
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I don't have a social media.

  30. #14180
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Re that video, why the fuck do people bother getting involved in stuff like that?

    Just pay for your petrol and drive off.
    I'm a twit

  31. #14181
    I used to be funny.
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    Some people can't help themselves.

  32. #14182
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    You gotta stir the shit by lolling at them and hoping one of them swings at you. It's your duty as a top WUM.

  33. #14183
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I see they've started revolutionising A&E departments and their processes in a few London hospitals as a trial. Add this to the list of shit that needed to be done long ago. Every time I've been it's looked like a fucking shambles ran by freshie immigrants. Get it into an app format managed by Serco/Capita and let the good times roll.

  34. #14184
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  35. #14185
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    I've no idea how (or why) but Finland has successfully trained dogs to detect Covid

    As part of a state-funded pilot scheme held at Helsinki airport, four dogs have been taught to detect the presence of coronavirus within 10 seconds. According to researchers, the entire screening process takes less than a minute to complete and has "nearly 100 percent accuracy."
    https://www.greenmatters.com/p/finland-training-dogs-coronavirus

  36. #14186
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    The reason the world is locked into it's current trajectory of hell is quite sadly that despite noble intentions, giving everyone the same platform to air their views is a bad idea. I don't know what the answer to that is, but look at the US and they essentially made the biggest shit talker on the biggest social media platform President. Maybe career politicians were always completely inept but the culture of the 24/7 news cycle and ability to respond to it while curling out a shite at 2am is definitely exacerbating things.

  37. #14187
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    "The fall was greater in those over 65, compared with younger age groups, and in those without symptoms compared with those with full-blown Covid-19."


  38. #14188
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    This virus is basically just a troll. It's worked out exactly the right way to be as annoying as possible. Maybe it was made in that fucking lab.

  39. #14189
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    I like the idea that it was made in a lab like Captain Trips in The Stand, except it was deliberately leaked by someone just trying to get the week off because their annual leave was declined and it's spiralled out of control.

  40. #14190
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    In Tayside, check this standard of sensationalist reporting:

    • 1,327 new coronavirus cases
    • 25 people have died in the past 24 hours after testing positive for the virus in the past 28 days

  41. #14191
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    Seems reasonable.

  42. #14192
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post


    Crushing defeat for Team Panic there.
    Makes me proud to be Northern


  43. #14193
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    In Tayside, check this standard of sensationalist reporting:

    • 1,327 new coronavirus cases
    • 25 people have died in the past 24 hours after testing positive for the virus in the past 28 days


    Sensationalist?

  44. #14194
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Yes, how is it not sensationalist? It makes it out like 25 people have died of Corona, when the reality is 25 people have died who happened to test positive for Corona in the past month.

    Also my apologies it's Scotland not just Tayside. Tayside was 2.

  45. #14195
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Magic still determined to die on the dumbest hill available I see.

  46. #14196
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Yes, how is it not sensationalist? It makes it out like 25 people have died of Corona, when the reality is 25 people have died who happened to test positive for Corona in the past month.

    Also my apologies it's Scotland not just Tayside. Tayside was 2.
    It says "25 people have died in the past 24 hours after testing positive for the virus in the past 28 days"

    Aside from 28 days being 4 weeks rather than a month, it says exactly the same as what you've just said you dizzy tart.

  47. #14197
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Alas twas founded on a quest for the truth, rather than secrets and lies.

  48. #14198
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Yes, how is it not sensationalist? It makes it out like 25 people have died of Corona, when the reality is 25 people have died who happened to test positive for Corona in the past month.

    Also my apologies it's Scotland not just Tayside. Tayside was 2.
    I know you're desperate to believe that all those people died from other things, but COVID kills people, a lot of people.

    Does that mean we should be continuing on the path we're on until a vaccine turns up? I don't think so, but one doesn't need to deny the existence and dangers of the thing in the first place to believe that.

    Honestly, it's utterly moronic doing so.

  49. #14199
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Team #Opentheclubs have today come to a mutual agreement with Magic Johnson on the termination of his contract.

    We'd like to thank Magic for his service to the cause and wish him well for the future.

  50. #14200
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    They're trailing the Oxford vaccine as being imminent today, so who knows, maybe the clubs will not only be open but utterly dominating global economic activity by mid-November.

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