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Thread: The Cricket Thread

  1. #9701
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    When they were saying we were ahead on winviz, I absolutely would have put ££££ on us losing if I had been arsed to remember my online gambling login credentials.

  2. #9702
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Does Winviz take into account specific teams or is it a pure 'from x position an average test team should win y% of the time"?

    And there goes the game.

  3. #9703
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Regardless of how the result ends up, we've shown fight in thse last two games which is a big improvement. Normally our Ashes tours go in the other direction.

  4. #9704
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Theyre so thick.

  5. #9705
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Love that Pope moved into a such a position that the ball ended up deflecting behind him and still hit his middle stump.

    The fucking state of some of these batsmen we fall in love with.

  6. #9706
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    England have like 3 good enough batsmen. Scary scenes.

  7. #9707
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    The lack of care in maintaining their wicket is staggering. What an absolute shambles of a team.

  8. #9708
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    Once Root was gone, I don't think anyone could be genuinely bothered. Rather be all out tonight and get on the plane home than drag it out another day.

  9. #9709
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Cameron Green is very, very good.

    137 all out
    Just shy. Good enough effort, if only Burns defended that final ball before tea. Might have reached 180

  10. #9710
    Senior Member hfswjyr's Avatar
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    Wow. Can't buy a win or a draw, even when handed on silver platter.

  11. #9711
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm ambivalent about getting rid of Root as captain (he's crap, but there isn't anyone obviously better) but they definitely need fresh thinking in the management and probably a big strong figure (which Root isn't).

    Short of my Ravi Shastri dreams being fulfilled, Gary Kirsten or Micky Arthur would be good choices.

  12. #9712
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    That’s great

  13. #9713
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    England have like 3 good enough batsmen. Scary scenes.
    Optimistic. They have one and even his purple patch seems to have ended.

  14. #9714
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Stokes is a good batsman. He doesn't convert into big scores often enough to be considered top level purely on his batting but really he's there because he's the only batsman other than Root who you'd turn to if you needed some unlikely heroics.

    No idea who the third is though.

  15. #9715
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I thought Crawley looked ok in both innings. Maybe that's it?

  16. #9716
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    Crawley looked ok. But, when he's played well he hasn't converted and that is an issue he seems another who will make a nice 20 or 30 and then find a way of getting out.

    I love Stokes but he looked very under-cooked in the series.

  17. #9717
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    I thought Crawley looked ok in both innings. Maybe that's it?
    Returning England Batsman Shows Promise is not infrequently the thrust first headline.

    Returning England Batsman Still Shit After All Lol is invariably how it turns out.

  18. #9718
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm now watching the under 19 World Cup and we've just bowled Bangladesh out for 97. I'm going to pretend this is the real Ashes.

  19. #9719
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I'm now watching the under 19 World Cup and we've just bowled Bangladesh out for 97. I'm going to pretend this is the real Ashes.
    That's the real quiz.

  20. #9720
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    We're now behind the required run rate more than 13 overs in to the chase.

  21. #9721
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Telegraph long read on the Ashes shambles. Some quality/lol/fucking hell details in there. Any time the mysterious 'Mo Bobat' gets a mention the alarm bells starting ringing.

    Toggle Spoiler

  22. #9722
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Selection was made mainly by the coach and captain but also chief scout, James Taylor, back home in England, with Bobat contributing. Players were frustrated that Taylor, who was not even in Australia, could have so much influence from thousands of miles away.
    He's not even tall.

    Yet there were also issues around players not taking enough individual responsibility.
    I've said this before about England but the way the same plays make the same mistakes over and over again doesn't suggest anybody is made to feel accountable for individual errors and doing their job right and that sort of culture is the death of any team with aspirations of being the best.

    Could be a good documentary in this tour one day.

  23. #9723
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Doubt it, unless they could get a Thick of It style thing going. I would imagine it would just be deathly dull. Like hours on end of accidental Partridge / Brent without any of the humour.

    Mo Bobat is surely a made up person. What do we call him? I dunno, what's the name of that award for urban music? That'll sound inclusive. Stick a bat on the end to make it relevant to cricket.

  24. #9724
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I enjoyed the Rory Burns quote (the most Rory Burns quote of all time), the complete lack of effort to mask which player was complaining about 'fat shaming', Chris Silverwood using the 'marathon, not a sprint' line while 2-0 down in a best of 5, the Adelaide groundsman advising them on selection only to be ignored, and - shock fucking horror - the revelation that Ollie Robinson bowls shitloads of no balls in training.

  25. #9725
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Mo Bobat:

    A 36-year-old former PE teacher from Leicester, Bobat studied sports science and management and is also in the process of completing a Masters in sporting directorship. Prior to joining the ECB in 2011, he worked as a lecturer and teacher in Leicester, augmenting his experience as a Level 4 certified cricket coach.
    The ideal choice for the role. Level 4 coaching courses are really hard to get on (a bit like the UEFA A Licence or whatever in football) so god knows how he's managed to con his way into this.

  26. #9726
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yeah the "marathon, not a sprint" stuff when the series was as good as gone was good shit.

  27. #9727
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    https://www.theguardian.com/sport/20...st-ashes-party

    Why do people so love filming the thing that's going to get them sacked?

    I love the police telling them "Time for bed" though.

  28. #9728
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I mean, if Thorpey's aim is to get the sack, he's obviously tried everything batting-wise and this is now a desperate cry for help.

  29. #9729
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    I’m presuming he’s done for when the news got out there and to stop it being taking out of context or something. Love how he doesn’t know travis Head’s name

  30. #9730
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    https://www.theguardian.com/sport/bl...county-cricket

    Plus of course Darren Stevens, and Darren Stevens again. It is a quirk of English cricket’s angst-ridden conversation with itself that Stevens’ name was mentioned so often over the first three Tests that he issued a statement asking people to stop bringing him into it.

    With good reason too. Here’s a funny thing: Australian Test players in county cricket have a WhatsApp group where they talk about the difficulties of playing here. It’s called “Stevosgoingtogetyou”. And he is. Last summer Stevens bowled to Marnus Labuschagne twice and once to Travis Head. He got them out all three times, for 11, 11, and 20.

  31. #9731
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Some good stuff in there.

    More jarring was Joe Root’s comment that “anyone coming into this Test team at the minute is doing it in spite of county cricket, not because of county cricket.” Root’s wider point was more detailed and well-meaning, although there will always be something a little odd in hearing the highest-paid person in English cricket telling every county level coach, player, groundsman administrator, development officer, paying supporter and junior hopeful that the thing they like is trash and it’s basically their fault England have just lost 10 for 56 in Hobart.

  32. #9732
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I don't know if this is true across all sports, but elite cricketers know absolutely fuck all about the sport. They have such narrow experience: freakish talent plus endless nets. That's no level of perspective to have a near-monopoly on the discourse. If they were bright enough I would make them sit down and read Beyond a Boundary with their eyelids taped open.

    This especially applies to Joe Root, who doesn't think enough about the game for an England captain.

  33. #9733
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It now turns out the police were called because Thrope was smoking a cigar, and that he's now facing the sack as a result.

    The batting coach getting fired for smoking a cigar would be the most England cricket thing ever to happen.

  34. #9734
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    The cops getting called is so fucking piss weak.

  35. #9735
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    ECB managing director of county cricket Neil Snowball...

    I'm sorry, no, you can have a name like that and hope to maintain any sort of credible professional career.

  36. #9736
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Snowball? No. Not having that.

  37. #9737

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    We've got a guy who works in the mechanical workshop called Kit Man.

    Names can also make you.

  38. #9738
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I have met Neil Snowball a few times, he's a friend of a friend's dad. Seemed a decent man, bit of a smoothie chops. He also got the friend's dad a job as Kumar Dharmasena's personal driver/butler during the World Cup, which led to some interesting anecdotes (and some mighty boring ones).

  39. #9739

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    Must be nice being in the London cricket circle.

    Closest I've got to any famous cricketer is shouldering arms to Imran Tahir's googly.

  40. #9740
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Cunts: Jade Dernbach, Rory Hamilton-Brown, Graham Thorpe, Rikki Clarke, Laurie Evans, Jason Roy, I think probably both Currans though Sam is disputed
    Good guys: Arun Harinath, Stuart Meaker, Alex Tudor, Gareth Batty, Mark Ramprakash
    Legends: Mark Butcher, Kumar Sangakkara
    Absurd parodies of themselves: Zafar Ansari
    Chip on shoulder (justified): Mike Carberry

    Frustrating lack of intel on Sam Billings, I'd love to get him confirmed in the cunt column but I'm not sure. Oh and Stuart Broad is supposedly the biggest cunt in the world, which for me only adds to the allure.

  41. #9741
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/59998885

    Today I learned there is a thing called a 'cricket coffin.'

  42. #9742
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You don't see them much these days. A staple of the 20th century when everyone wore full whites at all times anywhere near a cricket field, and players were served lemon squash at the drinks break rather than powerade or whatever.

  43. #9743

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    Absolute scourge of amateur cricket changing rooms. We implemented a fine for anything not a duffel bag in an attempt to win back some floor space.

  44. #9744
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    West Indies v England starts in 40 minutes. What a superb schedule this is that you're only ever a couple of days from the next England humiliation.

  45. #9745
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Exactly three minutes into the game before Cottrell is off doing his fucking celebration again. Well done everyone.

  46. #9746
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    What happened? And what is his celebration?

    I put it on, went to stick the oven on and feared the worst when I came back and saw there was already an ad break.

  47. #9747
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Never mind, I see the celebration. I wonder if he could have shown off more of his stumps. Perhaps take up his stance on the boundary?

  48. #9748
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Cracking start.

  49. #9749
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    This lot have just lost to Ireland in ODIs and have possibly their worst kit ever, obviously we're ten for fucking three.

  50. #9750
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yeah I was just thinking that shirt is pretty shit.

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